So he swam face upward along the underside of the trunk, his nose only a foot or so from the bark, which was covered with tiny crabs.
That was how it would end. The best thing to do would be to leap up and get shot. That would surely be better than a shark’s teeth. And then everyone who knew about the Nation would die —
Are you totally stupid, Mau? It was the new voice, and it said: I’m you, Mau, I’m just you. You will not die. You will win, if you pay attention!
Click…
The pale green weed in front of him moved and he saw something black. In a moment where time stood still, he brushed the weeds aside and saw it, wedged firmly in the trunk: a trunk that was full of little marks to show where men had helped other men.
He had been proud of himself that day. He had hit the tree with the alaki axehead so hard that it would take all the next boy’s strength to pull it out. The next boy was him.
Without thinking, and watching himself, somehow, from the outside, he grabbed the handle and raised his legs until they were firm against the underside of the trunk. The axe was stuck fast.
“I can hear you wriggling about,” said a voice right above him. “You will be wriggling a whole lot faster in a moment. I can see the fins coming. Oh my giddy aunt, I wish I’d brought sandwiches.”
Click…
The axe came loose. Mau felt nothing. The grayness was back in his mind. Don’t think. Do the things that must be done, one after another. The axe was free. Now he had it. This was a fact. The other fact was that Cox had now loaded his pistol.
Mau dragged himself branch by branch to the little area where he could breathe without being seen. At least, the area where he hoped he could not be seen. As he ducked his head down, a bullet went past it. Five bullets left, and Cox was losing his temper: he fired again (four bullets left; a fact), and Cox was right above him, searching for movement in the tangle of floating greenery. The bullet had come down as straight as a spear but had tumbled and lost its way. It’s hard to run through water, Mau told himself. The more you try, the harder it gets. A fact. It must be the same for bullets. A new fact.
“Did I get you that time?” said Cox. “I hope I did for your sake, ’cause they’re getting closer. Actually, I was just saying that to be nice, ’cause I want to see you wriggling. I want to stay here until I sees the sharks burp, and then I will go back and have a nice chat with your little lady.”
Mau’s lungs were beginning to hurt. He made the tree trunk wobble, then let himself sink. He didn’t hear what Cox shouted, but four bullets splashed into the water high above him, left trails of bubbles for a few moments, and then just tumbled away in the current.
Six shots. Only the little pistol would be left. No, Cox would have to reload. And that needed both hands. A fact.
Now there had to be more facts, one after the other, all falling carefully into place like little gray blocks.
Mau rose fast, dragging the axe behind him. He grabbed the stub of a broken branch with his free hand, got a purchase with his feet on another, and, with his lungs on fire, let all the momentum of his rise and all the strength left in his body flow into his arm.
The axe came out of the water in a great curve, moving in space but not in time, water droplets hanging in the air to mark the arc of its passage. It blocked the light of the sun, it made the stars come out, it caused thunderstorms and strange sunsets around the world (or so Pilu said later on) — and as time came back at double speed, the axe hit Cox in the chest and he went backward off the log. Mau saw him raising his pistol as he sank, and then his expression changed to an enormous grin, with blood at the corners, and he was dragged into the swirling waters.
The sharks had arrived for dinner.
Mau lay on top of the log until the commotion died down. And he thought, in those little white thoughts that scribbled their way along the redness of the pain in his lungs: That was a really good axe. I wonder if I’ll be able to find it again.
He pushed himself onto his knees and blinked, not quite certain who he was. And then he looked down and saw the gray shadow.
I will walk in your steps for a while, said a voice just above his head.
Mau pulled himself onto his feet, not an unbruised thought in his head, walked to the far end of the log, and stepped onto the path across the broken coral. Grayness filled the air around him as he walked, and on either side the great wings of Locaha beat gently. He felt like… metal, hard and sharp and cold.
They reached the first of the big war canoes, and he stepped onto it. The few warriors who hadn’t already jumped into the water fell to their knees, terrified. He looked into their eyes.
They can see me. They worship me, Locaha said. Belief is a hard thing to believe, is it not? For now, at this time, here in this moment under these stars — you have the gift. You can kill them with a touch, a word, by the passing of your shadow. You have earned this. How would you like them to die?
“Take your captives to the shore and leave them there,” Mau said to the nearest men. “Pass this command along and then go. If you stay here, I will close my wings over you.”
That is all? said Locaha.
Thoughts pieced themselves together in the chill on Mau’s mind as he turned and headed across the coral.
“Yes,” he said, “it is.”
I would have acted differently, said the voice of death.
“And I would not, Locaha. I’m not you. I have choices.”
Mau plodded on, in silence and gray shadow.
This day turned out well for you, said the voice of Locaha.
Mau still said nothing. Behind them the Raiders’ fleet was boiling with terrified activity. There will be so many new mouths to feed, he thought. So much to do. Always so much to do.
I am not often surprised, said Locaha, and you are wrong. There is one choice I can make, in the circumstances….
The sand under Mau’s feet turned black, and there was darkness on every side. But in front was a pathway of glittering stars.
Mau stopped and said, “No. Not another trap.”
But this is the way to the Perfect World! said Locaha. Only a very few have seen this path!
Mau turned around. “I think that if Imo wants a perfect world, he wants it down here,” he said. He could still see the beach around him, but it was indistinct, as if it was behind a wall of dark water.
This one? It’s far from perfect! said Locaha.
“It’s a little more perfect today. And there will be more days.”
You really want to go back? said Locaha. There are no second chances — there are no chances at all. There is only… what happens.
“And what does not happen?” said Mau.
That? That happens, too, somewhere else. Everything that can happen must happen, and everything that can happen must have a world to happen in. That is why Imo builds so many worlds that there are not enough numbers to count them. That is why His fire glows so red. Good-bye, Mau. I look forward with interest to our next meeting. You turn worlds upside down…. Oh, and one other thing. Those others I mentioned, who have been shown the glittering path? They all said the same thing as you did. They saw that the perfect world is a journey, not a place. I have only one choice, Mau, but I’m good at making it.
The grayness faded and tried to take memories with it. Mau’s mind grabbed at them as they streamed away and the gray barrier faded and let the light rush back in.
He was alive, and that was a fact. The ghost girl was running along the beach with her arms reaching out, and that was another fact. His legs felt strange and weak, and that was a fact that was getting more factual with every passing minute. But when she held him as they watched the tragic cargoes unloaded, and did not move until the last war canoe was a dot on the never-ending horizon… that was a fact as big as the Nation.
CHAPTER 15
The World Turned Upside Down
MAU AWOKE. A STRANGE woman was spooning gruel into him. When she saw his eyes open, she gave a little shriek, kissed him on the forehead, and ran out of the hut.
Mau stared up at the ceiling while it all came back. Some bits were a little blurred, but the tree and the axe and the death of Cox were as clear to him as the little gecko watching from the ceiling with upside-down eyes. But it was as if he was watching someone else, just a little way in front of him. It was another person, and that person was him.
He wondered if —
“Does not happen!” The scream was like lightning through his head, because it came from a beak about six inches from his ear. “Show us your” — here the parrot muttered to itself, then went on, rather sullenly — “underthings.”
“Ah, good. How are you?” said the ghost girl, stepping inside.
Mau sat bolt upright. “You’ve got blood all over you!”
“Yes. I know. There goes the last good blouse,” said Daphne. “Still, he’s much better now. I’m pretty proud of myself, actually. I had to saw a man’s leg off below the knee! And I sealed the wound with a bucket of hot tar, exactly according to the manual!”
“Doesn’t that hurt?” asked Mau, lying back on the mat again. Sitting up had made him dizzy.
“Not if you pick it up by the handle.” She looked at his blank expression. “Sorry, that was a joke. Thank goodness for Mrs. Gurgle; she can make someone sleep through anything. Anyway, I think the man is going to live now, which is more than he would have with that terrible wound in it. And this morning I had to cut off a foot. It’d gone all… well, it was awful. Those captives were treated very badly.”
“And you’ve been sawing the bad bits off them?”
“It’s called surgery, thank you so very much! It’s not hard if I can find someone to hold the instruction manual open at the right page.”
“No! No, I don’t think it’s wrong!” said Mau quickly. “It’s just that… it’s you doing it. I thought you hated the sight of blood.”
“That’s why I try to stop it. I can do something about it. Come on, let’s get you up.” She put her arms around him.
“Who was that woman who was feeding me? I’ve seen her before.”
“Her real name is Fi-ha-el, she says…,” said Daphne, and Mau clutched at the wall for support. “We used to call her the Unknown Woman. And now we call her the Papervine Woman.”
“Her? But she looked completely different — ”
“Her husband was in one of those canoes. She went right up to it and dragged him out by herself. I’m blessed if I know how she knew which one he was in. I sent her to look after you because, well, it was his leg I had to saw off.”
“Newton was greatest!” screamed the parrot, bouncing up and down.
“And I thought the parrot was dead!” said Mau.
“Yes, everyone thought the parrot was dead,” said Daphne, “except the parrot. He turned up yesterday. He is minus one toe and a lot of feathers, but I think he will be fine when his wing heals. He runs after the grandfather birds now. They really hate that. I’ve, er, started doing something about his language.”
“Yes, I thought you had,” said Mau. “What’s New-Tan?”
“Newton,” Daphne corrected absentmindedly. “Remember I told you about the Royal Society? He was one of the first members. He was the greatest scientist there has ever been, I think, but when he was an old man, he said he felt that he had been like a little boy playing with pebbles on the beach while a great ocean of truth lay undiscovered before him.”
Mau’s eyes widened, and she was shocked to realize that it had been a long time since she’d seen him look so young.
“He stood on this beach?”
“Well, er, not this beach, obviously,” said Daphne. “Possibly not even any beach. It’s what trousermen call a metaphor. A kind of lie to help you understand what’s true.”
“Oh, I know about those,” said Mau.
“Yes, I think you do.” Daphne smiled. “Now come out into the fresh air.”
She took Mau’s hand. There were a few nasty grazes that he didn’t remember getting, his whole body felt stiff, and there was a ragged wound where the flesh of his ear had been, but it could have been a lot worse. He remembered the bullet in the water, slowing down and dropping into his hand. Water could be hard — you only had to belly flop from a height to know that — but even so…
“Come on!” said Daphne, dragging him into the light.
The Women’s Place was full. There were people in the fields. The beach was busy. There were even children playing in the lagoon.
“We’ve got so much to do,” said Mau, shaking his head.
“They are already doing it,” said Daphne.
They watched in silence. Soon people would spot them and they would be back in the world again, but right now they were part of the scenery.
After a while the girl said: “I remember when it was… just nothing, and there was a boy who didn’t even see me.”
And the boy said: “I remember a ghost girl.”
After a longer silence, the girl asked: “Would you go back? If you could?”
“You mean, without the wave?”
“Yes. Without the wave.”
“Then I’d have gone home, and everyone would have been alive, and I would be a man.”
“Would you rather be that man? Would you change places with him?” asked the ghost girl.
“And not be me? Not know about the globe? Not have met you?”
“Yes!”
Mau opened his mouth to reply and found it choked with words. He had to wait until he could see a path through them.
“How can I answer you? There is no language. There was a boy called Mau. I see him in my memory, so proud of himself because he was going to be a man. He cried for his family and turned the tears into rage. And if he could, he would say ‘Did not happen!’ and the wave would roll backward and never have been. But there is another boy, and he is called Mau, too, and his head is on fire with new things. What does he say? He was born in the wave, and he knows that the world is round, and he met a ghost girl who is sorry she shot at him. He called himself the little blue hermit crab, scuttling across the sand in search of a new shell, but now he looks at the sky and knows that no shell will ever be big enough, ever. Will you ask him not to be? Any answer will be the wrong one. All I can be is who I am. But sometimes I hear the boy inside crying for his family.”
“Does he cry now?” asked Daphne, looking down at the ground.
“Every day. But very softly. You won’t hear him. Listen, I must tell you this. Locaha spoke to me. He spread his great wings over me on the beach and drove the Raiders away. Didn’t you see that?”
“No. The Raiders ran as soon as Cox went down,” said Daphne. “You mean you met Death? Again?”
“He told me that there were more worlds than there are numbers. There is no such thing as ‘does not happen.’ But there is always ‘happened somewhere else’ — ” He tried to explain, while she tried to understand.
When he’d run out of words, she said: “You mean that there is a world where the wave didn’t happen? Out… there somewhere?”
“I think so…. I think I’ve almost seen it. Sometimes, at night, when I’m watching the shore, I almost see it. I nearly hear it! And there is a Mau there, a man who is me, and I pity him, because there is no ghost girl in his world….”
She put her arms around his neck and gently pulled him toward her. “I wouldn’t change anything,” she said. “Here I’m not some sort of doll. I have a purpose. People listen to me. I’ve done amazing things. How could I go back to my life before?”
“Is that what you’ll tell your father?” His voice was suddenly sad.
“Something like that, I think, yes.”
Mau gently turned her around, so that she was looking at the sea.
“There’s a ship coming,” he said.