“To what?”
“To dinner and…whatever.”
“No. Sorry. No.”
He appeared even more disappointed. Was he having me on? I wasn’t totally sure. “Have you been with this guy a long time?”
“Two years.”
“And you’re exclusive?”
I nodded, and as I nodded I felt the strangest sense of something
that
“See, there
I said dampeningly, “Tempted to do what? Have dessert?”
Fraser looked straight into my eyes and said in a low, husky voice that actually made my body hair prickle, “Tempted to let me make love to you.”
I laughed, but my mouth was so dry all at once that it came out strangled. “
It was, quite simply, the silliest thing I’d heard in my life. And yet, just like that, my cock was stiffer than the top of a pyramid, hard and aching. I licked my lips. Looked at my drink and decided finishing it would be a very bad idea.
“Uh… Well, then it’s a good thing I’m saying no, right?” I stood up. It wasn’t easy—for a number of reasons.
Fraser stood up too, which made my need to get away and back to my own room all the more urgent. “At least let me buy you another drink.”
“Thanks. No. I’ve got an early flight tomorrow.”
Not
“Thank you for the drink,” I said. “And for earlier today at the museum.” I offered my hand.
He took it in his square, blunt-fingered one—and didn’t let go. He didn’t say anything either. All the more surprising since he had such a knack of saying the wrong thing—which would have helped at that moment.
“Night.” I gave my hand a little tug.
“Goodbye.” He reluctantly let go.
Chapter Four
I needed to talk to Noah. I punched the house number into my cell phone as soon as I stepped into the elevator.
No answer.
I hesitated and then I tried his cell phone. The odds of it being switched on were slim. Noah disliked using his cell for anything but emergencies. This wasn’t an emergency exactly, but I was a little worried about him. Things did happen. Even to men like Noah—a man most “things” would hesitate to fuck with.
To my astonishment, his cell rang. Once. Twice. He picked up the call and then there was the usual signature fumbling while Noah figured out how to hold his phone properly. While he juggled, I could hear background noise: music, clinking plates, and someone—not Noah—laughing.
“Noah here.” His voice filled my ear, loud and disconcertingly cheerful.
“Hi. It’s me.”
“Me who?”
Forget cheerful, Noah sounded ever so slightly sloshed.
This was weird. Neither Noah nor I drank much. Me, because I couldn’t handle my booze very well; Noah, because he didn’t like to relinquish control. Ever.
“Noah, it’s
“Nothing’s wrong. That is, I called the house and you didn’t answer. I wondered where you were.”
Just a fraction of a hesitation. “I decided to go out.”
“Oh. I— You didn’t mention you were going out earlier.” No reason Noah shouldn’t go out. No reason for that sinking in my gut, but the feeling was there all the same.
“I didn’t plan on it,” he returned, elaborately casual, “but as I was leaving my office I ran into Lionel and he invited me over for dinner.”
“Lionel?”
“Hold on.” I heard Noah say something to someone else—Lionel, evidently—and then more phone fumbling. I guessed he was in motion, walking to the next room. A few seconds later his voice came back on without any background noise. “Still there?”
“Of course.”
The good humor was still in effect, but it sounded a little forced now. “Lionel’s my oldest friend and a colleague. There’s no reason we shouldn’t have dinner together once in a while.”
“He’s your
got
“And you rightly pointed out that there was no need for me to spend the evening at home.”
“And you pointed out that you felt weird going on your own to parties that we’d been invited to together.”
“I’m not
“No, you’re with Lionel, which is worse. I didn’t have a problem with you going to a party.”
“Drew! This is ridiculous. You and I have dined with Lionel on several occasions.”
“Together.”
“You can’t honestly imagine that Lionel and I would…that I would be unfaithful to you.” He made a sound that was probably supposed to be a laugh, but it didn’t come off.
“Of course not. It’s not a matter of your being unfaithful. It’s a matter of loyalty.”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Now Noah sounded truly pissed off. “Loyalty? You’re questioning my
“What the hell does that have to do with anything? He’s certainly not the only faculty member who’s noticed we live together. Naturally it will be commented on. Naturally some people will assume your relationship with me is behind your successful career.”
As little as I wanted to hear the answer, I made myself ask, “
“Of course not!”
The fact that he sounded genuinely outraged at the idea eased some of the pain coiling through me, but not the worst of it. “But you’re not at all offended that your oldest friend has suggested that it is?”
“That’s just Lionel,” Noah said indifferently. “Christ knows he can be tactless.”
“He’s not the only one. Maybe you can take a casual attitude about the fact that he’s openly undermining my professional credibility, but I can’t, and the fact that you’re having dinner with him is…hurtful.”
“For Christ’s sake, Drew. You’re being childish. I’m not going to cut myself off from my old friends and colleagues because you’re insecure and jealous.”
“I’ve never asked you to. And if I
Although who the hell knew? They’d been together for fifteen years before Lionel had blown it all to hell by having an affair with his teaching assistant.
No. No.
I had been sure three minutes earlier. Now I wasn’t.
The elevator doors slid open. Fraser stood there smearing his bottom lip with ChapStick. At the sight of me his face lightened. He dropped the ChapStick into his jeans pocket and stepped out of the elevator.
“Hey there. Waiting for a bus?”
“What?”
“Waiting for a—” He broke off, brows knitting. “Is something wrong?”
I shook my head.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
He looked at my cell, which I was still holding loosely clasped in my hands. “Did you get some bad news?”
My own bitterness surprised me. “I think so.”
He hesitated. “Did you want to talk about it?”
I stared up at him. Did I?
Yes. Suddenly I did want to talk about it—I needed to talk about it—and the fact that Fraser didn’t know either me or Noah made it easy. Made it all the better.
I said, “Is that dinner offer still open?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
I stood up.
“Do you have a jacket or something?”
“A jacket?” I repeated.
“It’s pretty chilly out.”
“Are we going out?”
“You don’t want to eat here in the hotel, do you? We’re more than likely to run into some of my crew.”
Sensible thought. While I felt the need to talk, I wasn’t looking for an actual audience. Just one pair of sympathetic ears.
“I’ve got a jacket in my room.”
He followed me down the hallway. I unlocked my room, pushed the door open and we went inside.
The door swung heavily shut behind us. Darkness fell over us like a warm blanket. I felt intensely aware of Fraser’s silent, shadowy presence beside me. Too aware. I fumbled for the light switch.
Light sprang on, illuminating the generic furniture and red-and-black-plaid bedspreads. I stared at Fraser, he gazed steadily back at me, and suddenly we were in each other’s arms. I couldn’t swear as to who made the first move. I think it was me. Full-body slam.
I couldn’t get my belt unbuckled or my jeans unzipped fast enough. My hands were shaking, I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath and that my balls were in knots. Fraser’s arms locked around me, hugging me tight and further impeding my attempts to get my pants down.
His face bumped into mine and his mouth latched on. I hadn’t been thinking in terms of kisses. That seemed something that belonged to another time, place, relationship, but the softness of his lips and beard—contrasting with his considerable hunger—robbed me of protest.
And then I didn’t want to protest. I think it was the ChapStick that did it; he tasted like ChapStick and Jack Daniels. That reminder of human vulnerability got to me in a way that polished experience wouldn’t have. Not that he had lied about the experience. This was a man who knew his job, but underneath his bravado was something I totally understood. Instead of insecurity making Fraser mean and greedy, he was generous. He kissed me with such sweetness it was almost unbearable. And he kept kissing me, giving me barely time to breathe, let alone think.
Then his tongue pushed against mine and I jumped.
He kept making a deep “Mmm” sound like I tasted delicious, as though he was savoring me, and as distracting as it should have been, it turned me on all the more.
He pushed me back against the wall, and that little bit of roughness was even more exciting. For a second or two we leaned against each other, breathing hard, and I wondered what he’d do next, and if I would go along with it or not. I felt unusually receptive to the idea of pretty much anything—up to and including being fucked.
The idea should have shocked, but it didn’t, which was maybe testimony to the skill of those kisses.
His heart was hammering harder than my own. I could feel it against my chest. It was endearing somehow that this was a big deal for him, and it was. I could tell by the way he touched me, helping me get my jeans open and down, my briefs over my rigid cock without doing me harm.
Ready and waiting, my cock bobbed up so that it nearly tapped my stomach.
“Well hello there,” Fraser greeted it seductively, and I nearly choked on a laugh.