“And then Lewis had continuous headaches without a cure.”
“The headaches intensified so much he began to draw many of those split images of himself,” the Pillar says. “Sir John Tenniel, Carroll’s painter and good friend, noticed this and warned him of the consequences. But Carroll just loved his art and wouldn’t stop, even with his killer migraines. Tens of times, they found find him lying comatose on the floor in his studio. And when he woke up, he didn’t remember where he was and what he had done.”
“I don’t like where this is going.”
“I know. Sadly, it’s the truth. Carroll was turning into Carolus Ludovicus when he passed out.”
“What? Like a case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde? Lewis had some kind of a split personality? This explains why the man in London is the real Lewis Carroll,” I say. “Poor Lewis. He just needs help. Someone to wake him up from this dark alter ego.”
The Pillar stops to face me. I’ve known him long enough to know this is the moment when he drops a bomb on me.
“It would have been easier if all that happened to him was discovering he just had a monster inside him,” the Pillar says. “One day, Lewis woke up from his episode and saw someone sitting opposite him at the table.”
“Someone?”
“Someone who looked like him.”
I don’t say anything. I only tilt my head in disbelief.
“Lewis Carroll was staring at Carolus Ludovicus in the flesh,” the Pillar says as the fireworks light the sky in red above us. “His other and darker self, manifested as a separate and real being. A Wonderland Monster.”
Inspector Dormouse looked back and forth between his officers and the Lewis Carroll man. “Well, that’s the first time we’ve ever caught a criminal in this department.” He chuckled. “Unless you count last week’s rabbit a criminal, which I didn’t end up catching anyway.”
The Lewis Carroll man said nothing. It made everyone worry. Those kind of Wonderland Monsters were never really constrained by bars. Something was really wrong.
“My name isn’t Lewis Carroll,” the monster finally spoke, gritting his teeth against the headache. “Carolus Ludovicus.”
“Okay?” Inspector Mouse said.
“Those bars mean nothing to me. I can break through anytime I want,” Carolus said. “But I am giving you the pleasure of catching me, under one condition.”
“And what could that be?” Inspector Dormouse asked.
“Tell the Queen of England I want to meet her. I know how to stop the plague. But I’ll only do it if she gives me the cure for my headaches in exchange.”
I mean, who can live with his own split persona manifesting into a real enemy? An enemy who is in many ways you.
The darker you.
The you with all those thoughts you could never share with anyone.
The you with all those ideas you never knew you had buried in a grave in the back of your mind.
The you... who isn’t really you.
Making sure I don’t let the Pillar out of sight, my mind is as foggy as the hookah smoke surrounding us. It seems to me, and I’m not the best candidate to say this, that the Cheshire was right. And he always will be. We’re all mad here.
The one thing I’d add to his famous phrase would be:
A few minutes ago I asked the Pillar if he knows why Carolus was on the bus. The Pillar said he knew nothing of the bus or what happened in it. He also said that whatever I had imagined was likely hallucinations from the mushrooms. I don’t know what to believe.
“Alice!” The Pillar’s voice pulls me back into the real world. “Have you seen this?” He shows me a hookah with an elephant’s hose. “Nutty-tutty weird, right?”
I fake a smile. “I’m going to ask you again. How will we get to that Scientist?”
“Scientisto, if I may correct you,” the Pillar says. “I asked around, and that’s what they really call him.”
“They don’t know his real name?”
“Nor does he have an address. But they say he looks like the mad uncle from Back to the Future.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“A fun movie from the eighties. You weren’t born yet. Don’t bother.”
“So that’s all?”
“Not exactly,” The Pillar raises his voice against the fireworks and hailing crowd. Some special event is about to take place. “The Scientisto is like a god here. Common belief is that he will send his men to meet with him if he senses you’re special.”
“And how are we supposed to do that?”
“I was told the next event is a good opportunity.”
“This one?” I point at the crowd in the distance. They’re standing next to a tall wall, and it seems the smoke lessens as I walk closer.
“I believe so.”
“How can we show him we’re special in that event? What is it called?”
“How? I have no idea. What is it called? Oh, I know that, and I love it.”
“I’m listening.”
“It’s something Lewis would have loved a lot,” the Pillar says, snaking through the crowd. “It’s called Phantasmagoria.”
Settling among the others in the Phantasmagoria event, I see a big truck spurting out big chunks of fire in the air. The flames are thick and light up the night, high enough not to hurt anyone. However, the angle makes our shadows visible on the enormous wall we’re looking at.
I am still not sure what this event or game is.
“Phantasmagoria is one of Lewis’s craziest poems,” the Pillar says, sounding festive like everyone else. “No one really knows what it means, but it’s also the name of a form of theatre in France in the 18th century, and late in England in the 19th century. A very interesting and well known one actually.”
“Theatre? The name sounds like something scary.”
“It is, actually. The Phantasmagoria theatre used a modified magic lantern to project frightening images onto the walls.”
“Frightening as in...?”
“Skeletons, ghosts, and so forth. It happens all the time. Haven’t you ever been to the beach and had the camp fire reflect your shadow in scary forms?”
“I haven’t been to the beach,” I say. “But I get the idea.”
“Some artists used semi-transparent screens, frequently using rear projection later,” the Pillar says. “The projector was mobile, allowing the images on the wall to change size on the screen, which, in our current case, will be the wall in front of us.”
Glad to know what the wall is for. Also, I know the fire behind us is meant to cast our shadows on the wall now.
“Of course, there are many variations of the practice,” the Pillar says. “Some were able to cast quick switching images to tell a short story, to show a girl run from a ghost. It was much loved in its time.”
“And we’re going to play it here now, with the fire reflecting our shadows?”
“Not just the fire, the hookahs’ smoke too. You can either use the smoke to manipulate the image or to add another layer. Be creative.”
We start to stand in line next to one another, facing the wall. I’m starting to sweat heavily. The area is getting hotter because of the fire, never mind the Brazilian humidity.”
But I am rather enjoying this. The reflections on the walls are funny. People bend their bodies, stretch their arms, and sometimes use an external element to manipulate the shapes on the wall. There is a man whose reflection is a big duck. Another makes his body look like a boat. It’s brilliant. I think the kids would have enjoyed this.
The Pillar borrows a few balloons from others and manipulates his image into a caterpillar sitting atop a mushroom. People go crazy when they see that. They love it.
“Now that’s something special.” The Pillar winks at me.
“I wish the caterpillar was real,” a little girl comments. “I love him.”
“He loves you too, darling.” The Pillar smiles.
“How do you know?” The girl pouts. “You’re not the caterpillar.”
I burst out laughing. The Pillar’s cheeks redden.
We keep on watching others. Three men manipulate the image into three dogs eating peanuts. I tilt my head back to the Pillar for explanation.
“They all know the Queen of England eats their precious nuts here,” he says. “None are left for the masses, so they have to make fun of her.”
“Uh-huh. So I am still lost at that something special idea. I see most people are doing incredible things. What could be more special than that?”
“I have no idea,” the Pillar says. “We have to think of something that would attract a man who just cooked a plague to kill everyone on the other side of the world.”
I have no idea what that could be. It occurs to me that I don’t know anything about that Scientisto. “I wonder if the Scientist is also a Wonderlander.”
“A very plausible assumption.” The Pillar looks impressed. “But I don’t know of a scientist in Wonderland.”
“Let’s just say he is.” I have a dangerous idea in my mind.
“Okay. Let’s just say that. So what? Are you going to manipulate your image into writing Wonderland on the wall?”
“No,” I say. “In fact, I don’t need to manipulate anything.”
The Pillar stops his moves and stares at me. It’s that look again in his eyes when he admires my actions. “You have my undivided attention and heart-pounding anticipation.”
I smile and slip my hands into the Pillar’s pocket, pulling out the key.
“That’s a very smart idea,” the Pillar says.
“I know. I don’t need you to tell me that.” I hold up the key and adjust my angle so it reflects on the wall.
Of course, it doesn’t reflect immediately. The key is too small, and the fire is a bit far from where I stand. I run through the crowd, the Pillar following me, until I find the spot with the fire nearest to the wall.
Not just that. I spend some considerable time finding the right spot where the key’s reflection is big enough to be noticed. It doesn’t really get that big, but it’s enough for the Scientist’s attention—that’s if my assumption is right.
“Seems like it wasn’t a great idea after all.” The Pillar pouts, looking around for the Scientist’s men.
But my stubborn genes tell me it should work. Even if the Scientist isn’t a Wonderlander, the key should attract someone’s attention. This isn’t possible.
“I am afraid to ask, but I need my key back.” The Pillar shrugs.
“You know it’s not your key,” I say, giving it back to him. “But I don’t want it. At least not now. And for the record, I don’t ever want to talk to you again after we save the world this time.”
“Are you so sure you’re going to save the world this time?” He tucks the key in his jacket pocket and rubs off some smoke.
It’s questions like these that make me doubt myself.
Of course I am not sure I’m going to save the world this time. And it scares me to even think about it.
I think about those children again. The world can’t end on their first day of freedom. They still have so much to enjoy and learn in life, or has the Executioner already sentenced them to death in his grip?
I realize I would have preferred to choke him myself instead of listening to the explosion.
And there is something else I realize now. That Fabiola was right. If you stare into the eyes of darkness, you will always get stained.
“I’m thinking of pull off my pants and let out gas into the smoke the Scientist will definitely notice me.” The Pillar rubs his chin. “I know it’s lame, but so were many of Carroll’s jokes.”
Lewis!
That’s the answer to how to get the Scientist’s attention. The Pillar’s key may be valuable to many Wonderlanders, but definitely not like the one I have in my pocket.
Sorry, Lewis, I will break our promise. But I have to give it a shot.
I raise the key in the air and stand in that same spot again. Carroll’s key reflects in a shimmering hue over the wall.
“You have another key?” The Pillar can’t take his eyes of it. “Who’s the liar now?”
I dismiss his comments, still staring at the wall.
Then it happens. Not the way I expected, but close. A loud, deafening horn blares in the festival.
“Your headaches,” she said. “You know without me stopping the Executioner from giving Lewis his medication, you would have never been created in the first place.”
Carolus grunts, trying to step closer, but he was chained in heavy steel, and guarded carefully. Finally Margaret did her job right, the Queen thought.
“I’m like your god by the way.” The Queen smirked. “I could have given Carroll his medication anytime, and you’d have disappeared. You have any idea how unreal you are? You’re neither Carroll nor Carolus. You’re just a figment of his imagination that manifested somehow.”
“Don’t provoke me,” Carolus growled and broke free from the chains. The Queen’s guards stepped away immediately.
“Don’t threaten me!” The short Queen’s head ached, craning it up to him.
“What are you going to do? Cut my head off?” He laughed, still spitting rain at her.
“I don’t need to.” She grinned.
Instantly, Carolus’s migraine returned. He fell to his knees, gripping his skull.
“See?” the Queen chirped. “My men fooled you into thinking the pills they gave you were Lullaby when they only worsened your headache.”
“Stop it, please!”
“You should have asked for your cure back in Columbia instead of cooking up a plague,” she said. “But because you’re just a figment of someone’s imagination, you couldn’t think straight. All you thought of was ending the world for no apparent reason, just because you were in pain.”
“It’s not just that...”
“Stop it!” She kicked him in the foot. “Stay on your knees when I am talking to you. And listen to what I have to say.”
Carolus said nothing. All he could do was grip his head before it exploded.
“I will have the Executioner supply you with endless amounts of Lullaby.” She pointed her finger at him. “Under one condition.”
“I’ll do anything,” the vicious monster said pleadingly.
“If you tell me how to stop the plague.”
“I can’t,” he stuttered. “The plague is unstoppable. I just told you I knew because I needed my Lullaby pill!”
Not only that, but most of the crowd around us scurry away like rats. The Pillar and I are left alone inside a haze of smoke and fire.
Neither of us say anything for a long time. Anticipation? Fear? I have no idea. But I can hear the footfalls of dozens approaching us from behind the smoke.
“It occurs to me that we’ve not been told if getting the Scientist’s attention could lead to our deaths,” the Pillars says, trying to see through the fog of hookah smoke.
It’s hard for me to utter any words now. I realize what might be in danger is not the Pillar or me but Lewis’s key.
Staring at it, I don’t know where to hide it. Was it stupid of me to use it? Lewis was clear about not losing it. An insane idea hits me. What if I swallow it? I’ve seen them do that in movies.