"Nor can mine," said Mr. Fox. "And yet at this very minute she is preparing for me and my children the most delicious feast of plump juicy chickens.."
"Stop!" cried Badger. "Don't tease me! I can't stand it!"
"It's true!" cried the Small Foxes. "Dad's not teasing! We've got chickens galore!"
"And because everything is entirely my fault," said Mr. Fox, "I invite you to share the feast. I invite
"You mean it?" cried Badger. "You
you know
"Yes, Mr. Fox!" said the Small Badger. "Yes, sir! Right away, sir! Oh, thank you, sir!" and he scrambled quickly back through the hole in the roof of the tunnel and disappeared.
13
Bunce's Giant Storehouse
"My dear Foxy!" cried Badger. "What in the world has happened to your tail?"
"Don't talk about it,
" said Mr. Fox. "It's a painful subject."
They were digging the new tunnel. They dug on in silence. Badger was a great digger and the tunnel went forward at a terrific pace now that he was lending a paw. Soon they were crouching underneath yet another wooden floor.
Mr. Fox grinned slyly, showing sharp white teeth. "If I am not mistaken, my dear Badger," he said, "we are now underneath the farm which belongs to that nasty little pot-bellied dwarf, Bunce. We are, in fact, directly underneath the most
of that farm."
"Ducks and geese!" cried the Small Foxes, licking their lips. "Juicy tender ducks and big fat geese!"
"Ex-
"Yes!" he shouted, jumping up into the room above. "I've done it again! I've hit it smack on the nose! Right in the bull's-eye! Come and look!"
Quickly Badger and the three Small Foxes scrambled up after him. They stopped and stared. They stood and gaped. They were so overwhelmed they couldn't speak; for what they now saw was a kind of fox's dream, a badger's dream, a paradise for hungry animals.
"This, my dear old Badger," proclaimed Mr. Fox, "is Bunce's Mighty Storehouse! All his finest stuff is stored in here before he sends it off to market."
Against all the four walls of the great room, stacked in cupboards and piled upon shelves reaching from floor to ceiling, were thousands and thousands of the finest and fattest ducks and geese, plucked and ready for roasting! And up above, dangling from the rafters, there must have been at least a hundred smoked hams and fifty sides of bacon!
"Just feast your eyes on
Suddenly, as though springs had been released in their legs, the three hungry Small Foxes and the ravenously hungry Badger sprang forward to grab the luscious food.
"Stop!" ordered Mr. Fox. "This is
"We mustn't overdo it," he said. "Mustn't give the game away. Mustn't let them know what we've been up to. We must be neat and tidy and take just a few of the choicest morsels. So, to start with we shall have four plump young ducks." He took them from the shelf. "Oh, how lovely and fat they are! No wonder Bunce gets a special price for them in the market! … All right, Badger, lend me a hand to get them down. . You children can help as well.. There we go. . Goodness me, look how your mouths are watering. . And now … I think we had better have a few geese … Three will be quite enough. We'll take the biggest. . Oh my, oh my, you'll never see finer geese than these in a king's kitchen. . Gently does it … that's the way … And what about a couple of nice smoked hams … I adore smoked ham, don't you, Badger? … Fetch me that step-ladder, will you please …"
Mr. Fox climbed up the ladder and handed down three magnificent hams. "And do you like bacon, Badger?"
"I'm mad about bacon!" cried Badger, dancing with excitement. "Let's have a side of bacon! That big one up there!"
"And carrots, Dad!" said the smallest of the three Small Foxes. "We must take some of those carrots."
"Don't be a twerp," said Mr. Fox. "You know we never eat things like that."
"It's not for us, Dad. It's for the Rabbits. They only eat vegetables."
"My goodness me, you're right!" cried Mr. Fox. "What a thoughtful little fellow you are! Take ten bunches of carrots!"
Soon, all this lovely loot was lying in a neat heap upon the floor. The Small Foxes crouched close, their noses twitching, their eyes shining like stars.
"And now," said Mr. Fox, "we shall have to borrow from our friend Bunce two of those useful pushcarts over in the corner." He and Badger fetched the push-carts, and the ducks and geese and hams and bacon were loaded on to them. Quickly the pushcarts were lowered through the hole in the floor. The animals slid down after them. Back in the tunnel, Mr. Fox again pulled the floorboards very carefully into place so that no one could see they had been moved.
"My darlings," he said, pointing to two of the three Small Foxes, "take a cart each and run back as fast as you can to your mother. Give her my love and tell her we are having guests for dinner—the Badgers, the Moles, the Rabbits and the Weasels. Tell her it must be a truly great least. And tell her the rest of us will be home as soon as we've done one more little job."
"Yes, Dad! Right away, Dad!" they answered, and they grabbed a trolley each and went rushing off down the tunnel.
14
Badger Has Doubts
"Just one more visit! " cried Mr. Fox.
"And I'll bet I know where that'll be," said the only Small Fox now left. He was the Smallest Fox of them all.
"Where?" said Badger.
"Well," said the Smallest Fox. "We've been to Boggis and we've been to Bunce but we haven't been to Bean. It must be Bean."
"You are right," said Mr. Fox. "But what you don't know is which
of Bean's place we are about to visit."
"Which?" they said both together.
"Ah-ha," said Mr. Fox. "Just you wait and see." They were digging as they talked. The tunnel was going forward fast.
Suddenly Badger said, "Doesn't this worry you just a tiny bit, Foxy?"
"Worry me?" said Mr. Fox. "What?"
"All this.. this
whole world who wouldn't swipe a few chickens if his children were starving to death?"
There was a short silence while Badger thought deeply about this.
"You are far too respectable," said Mr. Fox.
"There's nothing wrong with being respectable," Badger said.
"Look," said Mr. Fox, "Boggis and Bunce and Bean are out to
"I do, Foxy, I do indeed," said the gentle Badger.
"But
their
"We wouldn't dream of it," said Mr. Fox. "We shall simply take a little food here and there to keep us and our families alive. Right?"
"I suppose we'll have to," said Badger.
"If
Badger laid his head on one side and smiled at Mr. Fox. "Foxy," he said, "I love you."
"Thank you," said Mr. Fox. "And now let's get on with the digging."
Five minutes later, Badger's front paws hit against something flat and hard. "What on earth is this?" he said. "It looks like a solid stone wall." He and Mr. Fox scraped away the soil. It
15
Bean's Secret Cider Cellar
Mr. Fox examined the wall carefully. He saw that the cement between the bricks was old and crumbly, so he loosened a brick without much trouble and pulled it away. Suddenly, out from the hole where the brick had been, there popped a small sharp face with whiskers, "Go away!" it snapped. "You can't come in here! It's private!"
"Good Lord!" said Badger. "It's Rat!"
"You saucy beast!" said Mr. Fox. "I should have guessed we'd find you down here somewhere."
"Go away!" shrieked Rat. "Go on, beat it! This is my private pitch!"
"Shut up," said Mr. Fox.
"I will not shut up!" shrieked Rat. "This is
Mr. Fox gave a brilliant smile, flashing his white teeth. "My dear Rat," he said softly, "I am a hungry-fellow and if you don't hop it quickly I shall eat-you-up-in-one-gulp!"
That did it. Rat popped back fast out of sight. Mr. Fox laughed and began pulling more bricks out of the wall. When he had made a biggish hole, he crept through it. Badger and the Smallest Fox followed him in.
They found themselves in a vast, damp, gloomy cellar. "This is it!" cried Mr. Fox.
"This is
"Where are the turkeys?" asked the Smallest Fox, staring into the gloom. "I thought Bean was a turkey man."
"He is a turkey man," said Mr. Fox. "But we're not after turkeys now. We've got plenty of food."
"Then what
were
The Smallest Fox leaped high in the air. "Oh,Dad!" he cried out. "Look what we've found! It's cider!"
"Ex-
"It will make the feast into a banquet," said Mr. Fox.
While they were talking, the Smallest Fox had sneaked a jar off the shelf and had taken a gulp. "Wow!" he gasped. "Wow-ee!"
You must understand this was not the ordinary wreak fizzy cider one buys in a store. It was the real stuff, a home-brewed fiery liquor that burned in your throat and boiled in your stomach.
"Ah-h-h-h-h-h!" gasped the Smallest Fox. "This is
"It's my turn," said Badger, taking the jar and tilting his head well back. The cider gurgled and bubbled down his throat. "It's. . it's like melted gold!" he gasped. "Oh, Foxy, it's … like drinking sunbeams and rainbows!"
"You're poaching!" shrieked Rat. "Put that down at once! There'll be none left for me!" Rat was perched upon the highest shelf in the cellar, peering out from behind a huge jar. There was a small rubber tube inserted in the neck of the jar, and Rat was using this tube to suck out the cider.
"You're drunk! "said Mr. Fox.
"Mind your own business!" shrieked Rat. "And if you great clumsy brutes come messing about in here we'll all be caught! Get out and leave me to sip my cider in peace"
At that moment they heard a woman's voice calling out in the house above them. "Hurry up and get that cider, Mabel!" the voice called. "You know Mr. Bean doesn't like to be kept waiting! Especially when he's been out all night in a tent!"
The animals froze. They stayed absolutely still, their ears pricked, their bodies tense. Then they heard the sound of a door being opened. The door was at the top of a flight of stone steps leading down from the house to the cellar.
And now someone was starting to come down those steps.
16
The Woman
"Quick!" said Mr. Fox. "Hide!" He and Badger and the Smallest Fox jumped up on to a shelf and crouched behind a row of big cider jars. Peering around the jars, they saw a huge woman coming down into the cellar. At the foot of the steps, the woman paused, looking to right and left. Then she turned and headed straight for the place where Mr. Fox and Badger and the Smallest Fox were hiding. She stopped right in front of them. The only thing between her and them was a row of cider jars. She was so close, Mr. Fox could hear the sound of her breathing. Peeping through the crack between two bottles, he noticed that she carried a big rolling-pin in one hand.
"How many will he want this time, Mrs. Bean?" the woman shouted. And from the top of the steps the other voice called back, "Bring up two or three jars."
"He drank four yesterday, Mrs. Bean."
"Yes, but he won't want that many today because he's not going to be up there more than a few hours longer. He says the fox is bound to make a run for it this morning. It can't possibly stay down that hole another day without food."
The woman in the cellar reached out and lifted a jar of cider from the shelf. The jar she took was next but one to the jar behind which Mr. Fox was crouching.
"I'll be glad when the rotten brute is killed and strung up on the front porch," she called out. "And by the way, Mrs. Bean, your husband promised I could have the tail as a souvenir."
"The tail's been all shot to pieces," said the voice from upstairs. "Didn't you know that?"
"You mean it's
"Yes, Ma'am, I'm coming," said the big woman, and she took a second jar from the shelf.