"Oh Lordy Lou!" another of the heads remarked. "Yes,
Then, having hushed his companion, John Mischief said: "I do apologize for my brother, lady."
Then—of all things—he
lady
And the impish man called John Mischief, along with five of his seven siblings, smiled back.
"Please," he said. "I don't wish to alarm you, lady. Believe me, that is the very last thing I wish to do. But there is somebody in this vicinity by the name of Shape."
"Mendelson Shape," the smallest of the heads said.
"As John Moot says:
."
Before Candy could deal with any more information she needed a question answered. So she asked it.
"Are you all called John?" she said.
"Oh yes," said Mischief. "Tell her, brothers, left to right. Tell her what we are called."
So they did.
"John Fillet."
"John Sallow."
"John Moot."
"John Drowze."
"John Pluckitt."
"John Serpent."
"John Slop."
"And I'm the head brother," the eighth wonder replied. "John Mischief."
"Yes, I heard that part. I'm Candy Quackenbush."
"I am extremely pleased to make your acquaintance," John Mischief said.
He sounded completely sincere in this, and with good reason. To judge by his appearance, things had not gone well for him—
"Have you been
"She's observant," John Pluckitt said appreciatively. "I like that. And young, which is good. She can help us, Mischief."
"Either that or she can get us in even deeper trouble," said John Serpent.
"We're as deep as we can get," John Slop observed. "I say we trust the girl, Mischief. We've got absolutely nothing to lose."
"What are they all talking about?" Candy asked Mischief.
"Besides me."
"The harbor," he replied.
"What harbor?" Candy said. "There's no harbor here. This is Minnesota. We're
"What on earth is he talking about?" Candy asked Mischief.
John Mischief pointed toward the tower that stood sixty or seventy yards from where they stood.
"That, lady, is a lighthouse," he said.
"No," said Candy, with a smile. The idea was preposterous. "Why would anybody—"
"Look at it," said John Drowze. "
"Somebody was crazy," she remarked.
"Why?" said John Slop.
"Oh, come on," said Candy. "We've been through this. We're in Minnesota. There is no sea in—"
Candy stopped mid-sentence. Mischief had put his hand to his mouth, hushing her.
As he did so all of his brothers looked off in one direction or another. A few were sniffing the air, others tasting it on their lips. Whatever they did and wherever they looked, they all came to the same conclusion, and together they murmured two words.
"
," they said.
6. THE LADY ASCENDS
"Lady," Mischief said, very softly, "I wonder if you would
"Go on," Candy said.
Given how unhappy and purposeless she'd been feeling in the last few hours (no, not hours: months, even years), she was happy to listen to anybody with a theory about why she was here.
"If I could distract Mendelson Shape's attention away from you for long enough, maybe you could get to the lighthouse, and climb the stairs? You carry far less weight than I, and the stairs may support you better."
"What for?"
"What do you mean: what for?"
"Well, once I've climbed the stairs—"
"She wants to know what she does next," John Slop said.
"That's simple enough, lady," said John Fillet.
"When you get to the top," said John Pluckitt, "you must
"Doesn't it need electricity?" she said. "I mean, I can't even see a lamp."
"There's one up there, we swear," said John Moot. "Please trust us. We may be desperate, but we're not stupid. We wouldn't send you on a suicide mission."
"So how do I make this lamp work?" Candy asked. "Is there an on-off switch?"
"You'll know how to use it the moment you set eyes on it," Mischief said. "
"Where?" said Fillet, turning to follow his brother's gaze. He didn't need any further direction. He simply said. "Oh Lordy Lou, there he is."
Candy raised her head six inches and looked in the same direction that Fillet and Drowze were looking. The rest of the brothers—Mischief included—followed that stare.
And there, no more than a stone's throw from the spot where Candy and the brothers were crouched in the grass, was the object of their fear: Mendelson Shape.
The sight of him made Candy shudder. He was twice the height of Mischief, and there was something spiderish about his grotesque anatomy. His almost fleshless limbs were so long, she could readily imagine him walking up a wall. On his back there was a curious arrangement of cruciform rods that almost looked like four swords which had been fused to his bony body. He was naked but for a pair of striped shorts, and he walked with a pronounced limp. But there was nothing frail about him. Despite the lack of muscle, and that limp of his, he looked like a creature born to do harm. His expression was joyless and sour, filled with hatred toward the world.
Having got herself a glimpse of him, Candy ducked down quickly, before Shape's wrathful gaze came her way.
Curiously, it was only now, seeing this second freakish creature, that she wondered if perhaps she wasn't having some kind of hallucination. How could such beings be here in the world with her?
The same world as Chickentown, as Miss Schwartz and Deborah Hackbarth?
"Before we go any further," she said to the brothers, "I need an answer to something."
"Ask away," said John Swallow.
"Am I dreaming this?"
By way of reply, all eight brothers shook their heads, their faces for once expressing the same thing.
Shape threw open his arms, his huge, iron-taloned claws spread as wide as five-fingered fans.
"
His eyes fixed upon Candy, and he let out a bloodcurdling cry at the sight of her. He spread his arms wide, and with swords in hand, he began to move toward her.
He didn't run; he simply strode through the grass with terrible confidence in his uneven step, as if to say:
She turned away from the sight of his approach and pushed on the broken door. The hinges creaked, and there were a few moments of resistance, when she feared that fallen timbers on the other side might have blocked it. Then, with a deep grating sound, the door opened and Candy slipped inside.
Though there were plenty of holes in the walls, and the sun came through in solid shafts, it was still far chillier inside than it was out. The cold air stank of rotting wood. Large fungi had prospered in the damp murk, and the boards beneath her feet were slick with mildew. She slipped twice before she had even reached the bottom of the stairs.
The prospect before her looked dangerous. No doubt once upon a time the spiral wooden stairs had been perfectly safe to climb, but that was decades ago. Now all but a few of the railings had collapsed, and the structure which had supported the staircase had been devoured by woodworm and rot, so that it seemed the stairs themselves had virtually nothing to depend on for their solidity.
She peered through one of the holes in the wall, just to confirm what she already knew: Mendelson Shape was still advancing toward the lighthouse.
Unlikely as a safe ascent seemed, there was no way back now. Shape would be at the front door in just a few seconds. She had no choice but to try the stairs. She put her hand on the shaky bannister and began her cautious ascent.
Outside in the long grass, the John brothers watched the silhouetted form of the lady Quackenbush as she started up the stairs.
"She's something special, that one," Drowze murmured.
"What makes you say that?" Moot remarked.
"Look at her!" Drowze said. "Not many creatures of this wretched Hereafter would be so brave."
"She's half mad," said Serpent, "that's why. I saw it in her eyes, right from the beginning. She's a little bit crazy."
"So we send a crazy girl to do our handiwork for us?" Pluckitt said. "That's not very heroic."
"Will you just shut your
is something about the lady. When we first laid eyes on her, didn't anybody think they'd maybe seen her before ?" There was silence from above. "Well?"
"You told us to shut our cake-holes," Sallow reminded him airily. "We're just obeying instructions."
"Well, I think she's got a touch of magic about her," Mischief said, ignoring Sallow's riposte. He went to his belt and unsheathed the little knife that hung there. "And we have to protect her."