Poor Mr. Goon! He had indeed had a trying morning - a real wild-goose chase, as he put it to himself.
He had first of all gone to the post-office to ask the post-master to let him talk to the red-headed telegraph-boy.
But when the telegraph-boy had come, he wasn’t red-headed! He was mousey-brown, and was a thin, under-sized little thing, plainly very frightened indeed to hear that Mr. Goon wanted to speak to him.
‘This isn’t the lad,’ said Mr. Goon to the post-master. ‘Where’s your other boy? The red-headed one?’
‘We’ve only got the one boy,’ said the post-master, puzzled. ‘This is the one. We’ve never had a red-headed fellow, as far as I can remember. We’ve had James here for about fourteen months now.’
Mr. Goon was dumbfounded. No red-headed telegraph-boy? Never had one! Well then, where did that fellow come from? Telegraph-boys were only attached to post-offices, surely.
‘Sorry I can’t help you,’ said the post-master. ‘But I do assure you we’ve got no red-headed boys at all here. But we’ve got a red-headed girl here - now would you like to see her?’
‘No,’ said Mr. Goon. ‘This was a boy all right, and one of the civilest I ever spoke to - too civil by a long way. I see now! Pah! I’m fed up with this.’
He went out of the post-office, feeling very angry, knowing that the post-master was thinking him slightly mad. He made his way to one of the butcher’s, frowning. Just let him get hold of that there red-headed butcher-boy, delivering letters for the anonymous letter-writer. Ho, just let him! He’d soon worm everything out of him!
Mr. Veale, the butcher, was surprised to see Mr. Goon. ‘Bit of nice tender meat, sir, for you today? ’ he asked, sharpening his knife.
‘No thanks,’ said Mr. Goon. ‘I want to know if you’ve got a red-headed boy here, delivering your meat.’
‘I’ve got no boy,’ said Mr. Veale. ‘Only old Sam, the fellow I’ve had for fifteen years. Thought you knew that.’
‘Oh, I know old Sam,’ said Mr. Goon. ‘But I thought maybe you had a new boy as well. I expect it’s the other butcher’s delivery-boy I want.’
He went off to the other shop. This was a bigger establishment altogether. Mr. Cook, the owner, was there, cutting up meat with his two assistants.
‘You got a boy here, delivering your meat for you?’ asked Mr. Goon.
‘Yes, two,’ said Mr. Cook. ‘Dear me, I hope they haven’t either of them got into trouble, Mr. Goon. They’re good boys, both of them.’
‘One of them isn’t,’ said Mr. Goon grimly. ‘Where are they? You let me see them.’
‘They’re out in the yard at the back, packing their baskets with meat-deliveries,’ said Mr. Cook. ‘I’ll come with you. Dear me, I do hope it’s nothing serious.’
He took Mr. Goon out to the back. The policeman saw two boys. One was fair-haired with blue eyes and the other was black-haired, dark as a gypsy.
‘Well, there they are, Mr. Goon,’ said Mr. Cook. ‘Which of them is the rascal?’
The boys looked up, surprised. Mr. Goon took one look and scowled. ‘They’re neither of them the boy I want,’ he said. ‘I want a red-headed fellow.’
‘There aren’t any red-headed delivery-boys here, sir,’ said the fair-haired lad. ‘I know them all.’
Mr. Goon snorted and went back into the shop.
‘Well, I’m glad it wasn’t one of my boys,’ said Mr. Cook. ‘The fair-haired one is really a very clever fellow - he...’
But Mr. Goon didn’t want to hear about any clever fair-haired boys. He wanted to see a red-headed one - and the more he tried to, the less likely it seemed he would ever find one.
He clumped out of the shop, disgusted. Who was the telegraph-boy? Hadn’t he seen him delivering a telegram to those children some time back - and again at night when he had bumped into him? And what about that red-headed butcher-boy that Mrs. Hilton and Philip Hilton both said they had seen? Who were these red-headed fellows flying around Peterswood, and not, apparently, living anywhere, or being known by anyone?
Mr. Goon began to feel that he had red-headed boys on the brain, so, when he suddenly heard the loud yelping of a frightened dog, and looked up to see, actually to see a red-headed messenger-boy within reach of him, it was no wonder that he reached out and clutched that boy hard!
That was when Fatty had been trying to comfort the dog he had nearly run into. Mr. Goon had felt that it was a miracle to find a red-headed boy, even if he wasn’t a telegraph-boy or a butcher-boy. He was red-headed, and that was enough!
And now he had lost that boy too. He had just walked out of a locked room and disappeared into thin air. Hey presto, he was there, and hey presto, he wasn’t.
Mr. Goon forgot all about the boy's bicycle in his worry. It had been left out in the little front garden when he had pushed the boy into his house. The policeman didn’t even notice it there when he went out to get his mid-day paper. Nor did he notice Larry waiting about at the corner.
But Larry had been posted there by Fatty to watch what Mr. Goon did with his bike. Fatty was afraid that Mr. Goon might make inquiries and find out who the right owner was, and he didn’t want the policeman to know that.
Larry saw Mr. Goon come out. He imagined that having found that Fatty was gone, he would at least lock up his bicycle, and take a delight in doing it. He didn’t realize poor Mr. Goon’s stupefied state of mind. The puzzled man had sat down in his chair to think things out, but had got into such a muddle that he had decided to go out, get his paper and have a drink. Maybe he would feel better then.
Mr. Goon went out of his little front garden as if he was walking in a dream. He saw neither Larry nor the bicycle. He drifted on towards the paper-shop.
Larry gaped. Wasn’t old Goon going to lock up the bicycle? Surely he ought to do that! Could he possibly have overlooked it? It really did seem as if he had.
Mr. Goon went into the paper-shop. Larry acted like lightning! He shot across the road, went into the little garden, took Fatty’s bike out, mounted it and rode off at top speed. Nobody even saw him!
Mr. Goon got his paper, and had a little talk with the owner of the shop. As he went out again, he suddenly remembered the bicycle.
‘Lawks! I ought to have locked it up at once!’ thought Mr. Goon, and began to hurry back to his house. ‘How did I come to forget it? I was that mazed.’
He hurried into his front garden - and then stopped short in dismay. The bicycle was gone! It was now of course, half-way to Pip’s house, ridden furiously by Larry, who was absolutely longing to know the whole of Fatty’s story. But Mr. Goon didn’t know that.
He gulped. This was getting too much for him. Three red-headed boys all vanishing into thin air - and now a completely solid bicycle doing the same thing. He supposed that red-headed fellow must have taken it somehow without his seeing - but how?
‘Gah!’ said Mr. Goon, wiping his hot forehead. ‘What with these here letters - and hysterical women - and red-headed disappearing fellows - and that cheeky toad, Frederick Trotteville - my life in Peterswood ain’t worth living! First one thing and then another. I’d like to talk to that Frederick Trotteville. I wouldn’t put it past him to write me that cheeky anonymous letter. It’s him that done that - I’d lay a million dollars it was. Gah!’
CLUES, REAL CLUES AT LAST!
The Five-Find-Outers and Buster met in the little summer-house at the top of Pip’s garden that afternoon. It was warm and sunny there, and they wanted to be quite alone and hear again and again of all that Fatty had done that morning - especially of his neat escape from Mr. Goon’s boxroom.
‘I simply can’t imagine what he said when he unlocked the door and found you gone, Fatty’ said Bets. ‘I’d have loved to be there!’
Fatty showed them the two specimens of handwriting he had taken from Miss Tittle and Mrs. Moon. He told them that Nosey couldn’t write, so that ruled him out completely. ‘And if you look at this receipt, which Mrs. Nosey signed, you’ll see she could never have written those letters either, even if Nosey had told her what to put into them,’ said Fatty.
‘It’s a funny thing,’ said Daisy, ‘we’ve had plenty of Suspects - but one by one we’ve had to rule them out. There honestly doesn’t seem to be a single real Suspect left, Fatty.’
‘And except for seeing the letters, we’ve got no real Clues either,’ said Larry. ‘I call this a most disappointing Mystery. The letter-writer went a bit mad this week, didn’t he - or she - sending letters to Mrs. Lamb - and Mrs. Moon and Mr. Goon. Before that, as far as we know, only one a week was sent.’
‘Isn’t old Clear-Orf funny when I keep pretending I’ve got a new Clue?’ said Fatty, grinning. ‘Do you remember his face when I pulled old Waffles, the white rat, out of my pocket? I just happened to have him there that day.’
‘Poor old Clear-Orf doesn’t believe anything we say any more,’ said Pip. ‘I do wonder if he really suspects somebody of writing those letters - someone we don’t know about?’
‘He may have some clues or ideas we haven’t been able to get,’ said Fatty. ‘I shouldn’t be surprised if he solves this Mystery after all - and not us.’
‘Oh, Fatty!’ cried everyone in dismay.
‘How can you say that?’ said Bets. ‘Wouldn’t it be dreadful if he did - so that Inspector Jenks was pleased with him, and not with us.’
Inspector Jenks was their very good friend, and had always been very pleased with them because they had managed to solve some curious mysteries in Peterswood before. They had not seen him since the Christmas holidays.
‘Let’s get out of this summer-house,’ said Larry. ‘It’s absolutely melting in here! Fatty, don’t forget to take your red-haired wig and things back with you tonight. This summer-house isn’t an awfully safe hiding-place for them. Pip’s mother might easily walk in and see them stuffed under the seat.’
‘I’ll remember,’ said Fatty, yawning. ‘Golly, it was funny going into Goon’s house this morning as a red-headed messenger-boy - and coming out just myself, and nobody spotting me! Come on - let’s go for a walk by the river. It’ll be cool there. I shall fall asleep in this heat!’
As they went down the drive they met Mr. Goon cycling up. They wondered which of the household he was going to see. He stopped and got off his bike.
‘You know that there telegraph-boy, that brought you that telegram some time back?’ he said. ‘Well, I happen to know he’s a fake, see? There’s no telegraph-boy like that. And I’m making strict inquiries into the matter, I am - yes and into fake telegrams too, see? And I warn you all, if you hob-nob with red-heads, you’ll get into Serious Trouble. Very Serious Trouble.’
‘You do frighten me,’ said Fatty, making his eyes go big.
‘And I’ll have None of your Sauce!’ said Mr. Goon majestically. ‘I know more than what you think, and I advise you all to be careful. Call that dog orf!’
‘Come here, Buster,’ said Fatty, in such a mild voice that Buster took no notice at all. He went on prancing round Mr. Goon’s ankles.
‘I said, call him orf!’ repeated Mr. Goon, doing little prances too, to avoid sudden rushes by Buster.
‘Come here, Buster,’ said Fatty again, in an extremely polite voice. Buster ignored him completely.
‘That’s not calling him orf!’ shouted Mr. Goon, beginning to lose his temper. ‘Yell at him, go on! Nuisance of a dog!’
Fatty winked at the others, and with one accord they all opened their mouths and yelled at the top of their voices. ‘COME HERE, BUSTER!’
Mr. Goon jumped violently at the noise. He glared. Buster also jumped. He went to Fatty.
‘Not pleased even now, Mr. Goon!’ said Fatty sweetly. ‘Oh dear - there’s no pleasing you at all, I’m afraid. Wait a minute - I believe I’ve got a really good clue to hand you - ah, here it is!’
He took out a match-box and gave it to the policeman. Mr. Goon opened it suspiciously. It was a trick match-box, and, as Mr. Goon opened it, he released a powerful spring inside which sprang up and shot the match-box high in the air. Mr. Goon got quite a shock.
He went purple, and his eyes bulged.
‘So sorry, so sorry,’ said Fatty hastily. ‘It must have been the wrong match-box. Wait a bit - I’ve got another...’
If Buster had not been there with his ready teeth Mr. Goon might quite well have boxed Fatty’s ears. He looked ready to burst. Fearing that he might say something he ought not to, poor Mr. Goon hurriedly mounted his bicycle and rode up the drive, breathing so heavily that he could be heard all the way to the kitchen-door.
‘He’s gone to talk to Mrs. Moon again,’ said Pip. ‘I expect they’ll come to blows! Let’s get on. Oh, Fatty, I thought I should burst when that trick match-box went up in the air. Goon’s face!’
They strolled down the lane to the river. It was pleasant there, for a breeze blew across the water. The children found a sunny place beside a big bush and lay down lazily. A swan came swimming by, and two moor-hens chugged across the water, their heads bobbing like clockwork.
‘Let’s forget all about the Mystery for a bit,’ said Daisy. ‘It’s so nice here. I keep on thinking and thinking about those letters, and who could be writing them - but the more I think the less I know.’
‘Same here,’ said Pip. ‘So many Suspects - and not one of them could apparently have Done the Deed. A most mysterious mystery.’
‘One that even the great detective, Mr. Frederick Sherlock Holmes Trotteville can’t solve either!’ said Larry.
‘Correct!’ said Fatty, with a sigh. ‘I almost - but not quite - give it up!’
Larry’s hat blew away and he got up to go and get it. ‘Blow!’ he said. ‘There’s old Clear-Orf again - cycling over the field-path. He’s seen me too. Hope he doesn’t come and make a row again. He’d like to eat you alive, Fatty, you’re so aggravating.’
‘Sit down quickly, in case he hasn’t seen you,’ said Daisy. ‘We don’t want him here.’
Larry sat down. They all watched the blue water flowing smoothly by. The moor-hens came back again, and a fish jumped at a fly. A very early swallow dipped down to the water. It was all very peaceful indeed.
‘I should think old Clear-Orf didn’t see me after all,’ said Larry. ‘Thank goodness. I think I’m going to sleep. There’s something very soothing about the gurgling of the water - a lovely, peaceful afternoon.’
Heavy breathing disturbed the peace, and clumsy footsteps came over the grass towards their bush. Mr. Goon appeared, his face a familiar purple. He carried a small sack in his hand, and looked extremely angry. He flung the little sack down fiercely.
‘More Clues, I suppose!’ he sneered. ‘More of your silly, childish jokes! White rats and match-boxes! Huh! Gah! What a set of children! And now these Clues - hidden nicely under a bush for me to find, I suppose? What do you think I am? A nitwit?’
The children were astonished at this outburst, and Bets was really alarmed. Fatty put out a quick hand on Buster’s collar, for the little Scottie had got his hackles up and was growling fiercely, showing all his teeth.
‘What’s up, Goon?’ said Fatty, in a sharp, rather grown-up voice.
‘You know as well as I do!’ said the policeman. ‘More Clues! I suppose you’ll tell me next that you don’t know anything about that sack of Clues! Gah!’