For weeks?
Until two nights ago, he’d shown me only his gentler side.
“He busted Lucas’s nose during training,” she continued. “Last night, he punched a window and needed eight stitches.”
Last night? While he’d been with Veronica. “It has nothing to do with me,” I assured them. If I’d had claws, I would have scraped them over the lockers.
“And I swear vessels burst in his forehead every time Gavin mentions your name,” Mackenzie said, nodding.
“Guys. Cole broke up with me. I told him I’d work on being his friend, and I will, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stroke his...uh, ego and make him smile.”
“Fine,” Trina replied. “We’ll stop trying to convince you to sex him up, but you still gotta talk to him. You’re the only one he’ll listen to.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
She ignored me, saying, “He disappears for hours at a time. No one knows where he goes. He’s paranoid we won’t keep detailed records about what we find on patrol. He gets phone calls from blocked numbers and steps out of the room so no one will overhear his conversations. Before, he kept us in the loop about everything.”
So he was still spying on the slayers. But what was it, exactly, that he was trying to uncover?
I reached my destination, freed the lock on my locker and stuffed my bag inside. “I’ll talk to him about his weirdness, but that’s all I can promise.”
Mackenzie shocked me to my bones when she hugged me. “Thank you. We, like, seriously owe you one.”
As if our conversation had summoned him, Cole turned the corner and strolled down the hall toward us. He was wearing a red baseball cap and had his hands in his pockets. I couldn’t see his newest wound. He walked past us, nodding at Trina, then Mackenzie—avoiding me. My chest constricted.
“Or maybe I won’t be talking to him,” I muttered, and took off for my first class.
Just before Cole turned the corner, he looked back at me; our gazes locked. I tripped over my own feet. No vision. But I saw hunger. Fury. Regret. Remorse. Fear. Then he was gone.
Someone laughed, breaking me from the spell he’d woven. Dazed, a little angry with myself—
I stomped over and, to a chorus of “Hey” and “Watch it,” shoved the girls out of the way. Glaring, I said, “You have five seconds to leave, and then I get mad.”
I wasn’t ever going to be a sedative, was I?
They might not know how good I was with my fists, but they certainly knew the people I ran with, and, paling, they left without another word. Poppy cast a remorseful look over her shoulder. Wren, too. Only she mouthed,
It was white and soaked with water, revealing every stitch on her bra. “Why don’t we trade?” I didn’t want her sitting in the cold and the wet and thinking about what had happened. “Your shirt goes better with my jeans.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She brightened, and we raced to the bathroom.
“Thank you so much,” she said after we’d made the switch.
“Don’t worry about it.” Shivering, I darted to class to avoid a tardy I couldn’t afford.
To my surprise, Justin was waiting at the door. “Hey, Ali.”
“Hey.”
He opened his mouth to say more, closed it. Opened it. Snapped it closed. Finally he settled on “How are you?”
“I’ve been better.” I headed toward my seat, and he followed me. “You?”
“Fine. I’m fine.”
I studied him, saw dark circles under his eyes, gaunt cheekbones and lips that had clearly been chewed. He wasn’t fine. “I know you told me nothing abnormal had been happening to you. Is that still the case?”
His brow furrowed, becoming a slash of anger. “Want to tell me what’s been happening to
“
His shoulders wilted, and he said, “I guess I deserved that.”
Yeah, but I didn’t have to be so crabby about it, did I? “Do you know someone by the name of Dr. Bendari?”
“No. Why?”
So...maybe Dr. Bendari wasn’t with Anima, after all. Maybe Justin was lying. Or maybe Justin just hadn’t met him. “Forget it.”
“Ali. Please. Talk to me.”
How many times was I going to hear those words?
The bell rang, saving me from having to reply. “Later,” I said.
He cornered me in the girls’ bathroom.
I was washing my hands as he stepped inside. A classmate of mine was in the process of closing a stall door when she spied him and squealed.
“Out,” he said, and she took off, leaving me alone with him.
My heart thundered as I dried my hands with a paper towel. “If you plan to yell at me for hurting your girlfriend, let me save you the trouble. My anger got the best of me, but it’s not going to happen again.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“It’s okay if she is. You don’t have to try and spare my feelings. I’ve moved on.”
He did
I tried to bypass him, deciding to talk to him about Trina and Mackenzie’s allegations later, in a place without mirrors. He stepped into my path. “Stay,” he said.
“Orders?” I glared up at him. “You know I’m not afraid to punch you, right?”
“Do what you want to me. I’m not leaving until you’ve listened to me.”
Sometimes I really hated my curious nature. “What?”
When I backed off, he leaned against the sink, raked his gaze over me and frowned. “You’re wearing a different shirt.”
“Yes,” was all I said, struggling with the sudden need to cover my chest.
“Why?”
Struggling—and failing. I covered my chest with my hands. “Is that why you’re here? Because my reasons don’t concern you.”
His frown deepened. He shook his head, as if to get back on track. “I’m worried about you and want to discuss it like rational people.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Why? You said we could try and be friends.”
Lesson learned: it was better to think before I spoke. “Fine. Discuss away.”
He muttered something under his breath before saying to me, “Ankh told me you’ve been eating bagels at his house.”
“The bagels,” he insisted.
What was with the freaking bagels? “Yes. I have been eating bagels. Last I heard, that wasn’t a crime.”
“It is when it’s all you’re eating.”
I anchored my hands on my hips. “Why do you even care about this?”
He ignored the question, saying, “You didn’t bring your lunch and you weren’t planning on getting anything in the cafeteria today, were you? I know, because you didn’t get anything last week, either. You’re going to starve.”
He made it sound worse than it was. “I’m saving to buy Nana a house of her own.”
“Then bring food from Ankh’s. He has more than enough.”
“I’m living in his home free of charge. I’m not going to be any more of a burden and take more from him.”
“You’re not a burden.”
“So you say.”
“Ali.”
“No,” I said.
“Take from me, then.” He withdrew a brown leather wallet with a chain at the end. “Please.”
I violently shook my head. What the heck was happening here? “I don’t want your money.”
“Ali,” he repeated, his tone ragged. “Friends share.”
“We’re not that close anymore.”
He flinched. “You have to eat.”
“I will. I promise.”
“More than bagels,” he insisted.
I nodded, anything to move this conversation along. After school, I’d walk to the convenience store close to the Ankhs’ and buy bread and deli meat.
“Not just later, but now, at lunch,” he said, as if he’d heard my thoughts. “Please.”
“It’s better that we broke up, you know.” I said the words for my own benefit. “Our connection was so fast, we never took the time to get to know each other. Not really. And how would we ever have known if we truly cared about each other or if the visions had simply convinced us that we did?”
He smacked a hand against the mirror and leaned toward me. Glaring, he snapped, “I knew how I felt.”
Past tense. Why did that hurt? “I know how you felt, too. Not strongly enough to fight for me.”
A muscle ticked below his eye as he straightened, backed me into the black-and-gold-tiled wall. The warmth of his breath fanned over my face, as sure and sweet as a caress. His gaze took in every detail of my expression, lingering on my lips. Lips suddenly aching for the kisses he’d denied me during my recovery.
“We both know why I walked away,” he said. “We both know what’s going to happen.”
“Yes, so what the heck do you think you’re doing, closing in on me like this?” Good. I’d shaken off the melancholy and welcomed a bit of mettle.
“I don’t know,” he snarled, and I was suddenly face-to-face with Cole the Yorkie. “I never know anymore.”
For my own good, I forced myself to say, “That’s your problem, not mine.” Then I angled around him and walked away.
This time, he let me go.
I was getting good at not looking back.
In the cafeteria, I spent three precious dollars on a mediocre hamburger. Cole was at the table by the time I eased beside Kat and Reeve, and he watched me eat half...and try to save the other half for later.
Scowling, he planted himself at my side, scooting Kat out of the way, then unwrapped the burger and put it back in my hand. I suspected he would try to force-feed me if I resisted, so I ate the rest. My stomach nearly wept with gratitude.
He pushed a Gatorade in my direction. His? Half the contents were already gone. I’d forgotten to buy a drink, I realized, and gratefully swallowed one mouthful, then another.
“Thank you,” I said, trying not to care that he cared.
“That’s what friends are for, right? Even if they’re not close.” He put his mouth where mine had been and drained the rest.
* * *
After school, Kat and I piled into Reeve’s car. The three of us had one class together, and Mr. Toms, the teacher, had allowed us to group up for a special humanitarian project. For it, we drove to Party Palace and bought a handful of Get Well Soon balloons.
“On a totally unrelated subject,” Kat said, “do you guys want to go threezies on a gift for Aubrey Wilson’s baby shower? And by threezies I mean your dad will pay the bulk of it, Reeve. We want to get her something totes amazeballs.”
“She mentioned needing a crib,” I said. Poor girl. She had just started showing, and her boyfriend had dumped her.
Reeve nodded. “Count me in.”
As we meandered along back roads, searching for the next object we needed to complete Kat’s “most brilliant idea ever,” I checked the clouds. The sun glared at me, making my eyes water, but I still caught sight of a rabbit and moaned.
I wasn’t ready to face the zombies—and my reaction to them—again.
Tonight I was supposed to stay at Cole’s gym and guard the bodies the slayers left behind. But. Yeah, there was always a
My phone beeped. I checked the screen and stiffened.
“What’s wrong?” Kat asked.
“Cole wants to meet with me,” I said without any inflection of emotion.
Inside, I churned.
I read the text again. My house. Five. Be there.
Dang it. I’d planned to have dinner with Nana before heading over.
“When? Where?” Reeve asked, and I gave her the details.
“Are you going to go?” Kat wondered.
Hands shaking, I texted Nana. Can we reschedule? I’m so sorry, but something’s come up w/Cole.
I waited, but a response from her didn’t come.
To Cole, I texted Why?
Cole (I’d deleted the part about McHottie): Do I really need a reason?
Me: 2 talk? Yes. We’ve said all we need 2 say.
Okay, so that wasn’t exactly true. I still had to drum up the courage to mention his odd behavior, as promised.
Cole: Who runs this show? Just be there.
Me: Fine.
Cole: Your enthusiasm is humbling.
Me: Go screw yourself.
Cole: I have. I prefer 2 have a partner.
I think I gasped.
“Yeah. I’m going to go,” I said. I wasn’t going to call in sick. I had responsibilities. I’d keep them.
“Hold everything.” Kat bounced up and down in her seat and clapped. “I think I see one.”
“Where?” Reeve demanded.
Kat pointed. “Pull over.”
Groaning, Reeve slowed the car, eased to the side of the road and parked. I freed one of the balloons and exited. The girls joined me, and together we approached the centerpiece of our project—a dead raccoon, its arms and legs stiff and pointing in the air.
“Gloves,” Kat said, holding out her hand.
Reeve dangled a pair just beyond her reach. “These are cashmere, you know.”
“I’m sure the raccoon will be thrilled,” she replied drily. “Even though I told you to buy latex.”
“I thought you’d appreciate something softer.” Sighing, Reeve relinquished the gloves, and Kat tugged them on. “I bought hand sanitizer instead.”
“Balloon,” she said next.
I handed it over.
Then Kat crouched over the poor dead animal and tied the ribbon to one of its wrists. There was no wind, so the Get Well Soon balloon stayed perfectly straight, flying proudly over the motionless animal.
“Your family will thank me for this one day,” she said with a nod.
“As if we’re really doing any good,” Reeve said.
“Hello, we
“And gross,” Reeve interjected. “And cruel.”
“And they’ll remember,” Kat finished.
We each snapped a few pictures with our phones, cleaned our hands, got back in the car and hunted the next Get Well Soon victim. I mean, recipient.
I couldn’t help comparing myself to the animals. A car crash. A part of me dying.
I prayed I had a better end but had a feeling I was going to have to adjust my to-do list yet again.
Deadly Eyes Betray You
We dropped Kat off at the school parking lot, where her car waited, and drove home. Another note had been stuck to the bottom of the staircase railing. Sighing, I sailed into Mr. Ankh’s office—only to find him in a heated discussion with Mr. Holland.