However, without having departed from a rating Romana, Vera bellowed at the hall:
− Well the cataracts goggled? What, it is impossible to talk to the husband? Hey you! Wearing spectacles what the cataracts goggled what, it am pleasant?
The man sitting nearby wearing spectacles turned away from it, and his girl who obviously was younger than him on extremely measure twice, something told him, and those, having asked the account, left.
− That? – Vera in a trace to the leaving couple bellowed. – Do not you want to look at me? Young people give you, an old cable.
The man immediately turned back and in despair parried.
− Silly woman! This is my daughter. – And then added. – How it is not a shame to you, and still the woman? – then it threw. – To you in the market to trade, and that to use was б more.
The belief something wanted to answer, it even opened a mouth, but the man with the daughter already left. Then she addressed Roman.
− you saw? – puzzly she told. – No, you saw, and? It sent me to the market what for the swine? – then she recovered after the insult caused by it and after it shouted: – Well I will also go! On extremely measure I will earn more there, than somewhere, – Vera continued to speak loudly. But more nobody listened to it, all were busy with the affairs. Having seen that more nobody listens to it, it transferred the anger back to Roman. – Well you are silent? I listen to an explanation? What will you still there invent to justify oneself?
Roman did not know that to answer it, he was partly guilty of what now happened in this cafe. He mixed them and went absolutely to other cafe, cafe where they spent time with Larisa if they of course did not go to restaurant. However, they, frankly speaking, also were in it two times, it is no more.
− it is unimportant why I was late, – he told. – Important the fact that I came. All the rest is unimportant. – He got a box from a jacket pocket, put it closer to Vera and, having opened it, told by a gentle and tender voice: – It to you.
The belief took a small box from a table and, having glanced in it, and! What is it? Perhaps Roman the romantic, but I write this reconciliation as I imagine it. What bad is that the man in reconciliation gives to the woman something valuable, for one day, and on for the rest of the life. And Roman romantic. What did he present to Vera? A ring with diamond in three carats. And as I already wrote that Roman − he is a romantic, however, and in life something is possible similar.
And seeing as Vera cooled down after long hot charge in my address and a verbal rating of all cafe and the people who are present at it, she could make anything, but she did not begin to do anything of that kind. It seems to me that in a similar situation the woman a little bit feels the guilt. It did not allow Roman to open a mouth. Only she spoke and accused him of all mortal sins. And he, obviously, ran on jewelry stores, looking for this charm. She askance looked at Roman. She had nothing to tell it. She felt as the last swine. Her husband looked for a ring, found and brought. And it? But nevertheless she was a woman. It did not fall to it on knees, did not blur in smiles, did not fall into arms, she just asked by a firm voice:
− It that?
Here I want to notice that this ring appeared at Roman not accidentally: yesterday, he spoke with the mother by phone, and she suggested it to buy something memorable, something that could not be thrown out on a garbage can and to forget about it. And what good gift to the woman? There is a lot of them. Everyone loves something special, and nobody loves flowers. Most of them smell of the dead man. What here will you tell? Roman quietly answered:
− It to you.
The belief pulled out a ring from a box and, having looked at it from all directions, put on it a finger of the left hand. Then she gave a hand to glass and, having looked at it through a sunlight window, having seen all beauty of the stone which is poured in beams the sun behind glass she thought that, perhaps, she was not right. What is jewelry give not just like that. Probably, he long looked for him if he came to cafe for half an hour later. Yes, he precisely looked for him. She looked at it: and what I for the silly woman such? – she abused herself. – He wanted to make to me pleasant, and I? What I am a silly woman! – she spoke to herself. − the Silly woman, the silly woman also are".
Of course, in different situations reconciliation happens differently, and sometimes it is simply impossible. But not for Roman. He was sure that this gift will soften Vera's heart, and they at least will talk.
Belief, having looked at Roman, thought that not all is possible it is lost. It is possible to save their marriage. In the end of the ends, she is partly guilty of the incident. What was she for the wife if could not give rise, and then was afraid to tell that she recovered, and it is possible, it isn't it?
The fear of inevitability doomed to destroy marriage this family on parting, now it was necessary to correct this error.
The belief looked at Roman. He looked at it, in his eyes it was visible that he regrets deeds. He wanted to talk, try to adjust though some the relation with it, with the wife, Vera.
The belief told.
− I never before saw such beauty!
− It is pleasant?
The belief looked at a ring, and then at Roman. It liked this ring, diamond in it was pleasant. It seemed that she just about also will forgive Roman, but it was not so. She could not forgive him so. In fact, it changed it, and the fact that it was fruitless, was not justification here. Yes, it is possible it partly and it is guilty of the incident, but it?. Vera could not neither forget it and nor forgive.
− Well, – she so cold told that from outside it seemed that this gift was indifferent for it. She looked at this ring and saw in it only one − desire, desire of forgiveness. But whether she will be able to forgive Romana? Now she was offended, offended by it so that it was difficult for it even to see it, what to tell with it. – I agree you to listen, and only. – All this phrase was said so that from outside it seemed that for it it is indifferent, he sits opposite to it here or not. She agreed to listen to him only because about it it was asked by mother Romana, Nadezhda. Also she wanted to look in his shameless eyes and to understand why he made it? Really matter only in children or she did not suit it as the woman? She should find out it. Then she threw words into its party even more cold, so, that Roman was frightened. – Say that you are silent? I what, till the evening I will wait for you?
On his body ran ice cold, and it made the glotatelny movement and, having goggled on trust the scared eyes, answered.
− That ж. – he began and, having hesitated, added. – However, I do not know what to begin with.
The belief immediately steamed.
− Begin with the main thing. – And having made a short pause, it began for Roman. – Darling I changed you. – Then she asked, kind of with a sneer: – I hope, I was not mistaken, I still for you expensive?
The novel immediately steamed.
− Of course. You for me always were, is and will remain the woman, dear to me!
The belief indifferently answered itself in a nose.
− Who would doubt.
− That?
− I speak, – there began Vera, – I wait until you that be give rise. I listen, – she told and added: – I told you what to begin with: DARLING I CHANGED YOU. – She made a pause and continued. – Or perhaps you do not consider what you changed me? Well! There is nothing to tell, or nevertheless I will hear from you though something in the justification?
Roman looked in a window. Clouds were condensed in the sky, was dark, the rain just about will pour down. He looked on trust and told.
− I have nothing to tell. You are right, I changed you. I was blinded by desire to have the child, but there was everything to a turn.
The belief grinned. She looked at Roman a victorious look. Now she did not doubt that he still loves it. She considered that if it is not so, then he not for the world would not recognize the treason. Yes, he loved it, and she knew it. Whether she will forgive him, we will look? It is clear now only one: she still loved Roman. Its feelings did not cool down, and she knew it.
− That ж. – she told the ruling tone. – It is good that you recognized the treason, and can, I will forgive you, but? Whether you forgive yourself? Here in what a question.
Roman heaved a deep sigh.
Chapter-8
Paralysis
Letter of Belief to Hope
Dear Nadezhda!
I write you as I want to share as there took place the conversation between me and Roman. In general the conversation was productive. Roman recognized the treason, and perhaps I will forgive him, sometime, but not now. There passed not enough time, and the wound still bleeds. It is difficult to forget it, only time heals wounds. So at present I can only … what only? I cannot return and forgive to it too I cannot. But I understand that all of us are not innocent, and I including. Now I should think, to put everything on the places so I leave. When you read this letter, I will not be in the city any more.
Good-bye.
Yours faithfully, Vera.
Nadezhda Roman's letter
Sonny. You the idiot that missed Vera. Better than the woman all of you equally will not find. From the letter written by Vera to me it is clear that she still loves you, the blockhead. A question in another: whether she will be able to forgive you. You are guilty of the incident both, but you? What, could not make a compromise? You could try to bring children with Vera, having agreed that you need substitute mother. But you also did not dare to think of it. Now wait when it arrives, do everything possible to make amends.
Your mother.
Roman's letter to mother
Dear mother!
I already asked forgiveness for Vera, even presented her a ring, but she does not want to recognize that on this treason it pushed me. If she told earlier that she is healthy, and put only in me, then I would know what to do. But occurred absolutely not so. She hid from me that she is healthy. And now what wants? I, of course, do not exculpate with myself for the incident, but she is guilty not less mine. I understand that she made it not from the evil, obviously, she wanted that our marriage was not destroyed, but she was mistaken. A lie not to save marriage, and it perfectly understood it. Its justifications are based only on one: she did not want to have children, it is obvious she has some secret about which we do not know.
Novel.
Nadezhda Roman's letter.
The novel, you are mistaken. The belief wanted children too, otherwise it would not be treated.
Mother.
Vera Roman's letter and Nadezhda.
Hello!
The morning sun never lasts a day. Here and I come back home soon. Took a walk and will be enough. My train will arrive to the Leningrad station of the thirteenth at 17:10. This fast, Sapsan.
I will wait, Vera.
Exactly at seventeen hours ten minutes Moscow time number … arrived to a way the white high-speed train Sapsan. Having gone out of the train, the young woman went according to the platform to an exit. Having passed through the metaldetector, it passed further and entered the station, passed it all and came to Three Station Square. This was Vera. It just arrived from St. Petersburg where spent the vacation.
Nobody met her though it also sent the letter to Roman and Nadezhda that they met her if they want. But nobody met her. She faced doors to the station from where now it left, and thought that Roman nevertheless returned to Larisa, and his mother? Obviously, she could not abandon Roman. Though Roman was her son, he, but not it, solved how to him to live.
The belief thought that obviously Larisa achieved the, and … this minute its cellular rang out. The belief pulled out phone from the handbag, looked who called. It was number of the Novel.
− Hallo. Novel, it you?
− Yes, – she heard in reply, is I.
Its voice was excited. Obviously, something happened.
− you where? – hasty she asked. – Something happened?
− Da! – he exclaimed so that it "yes!" Looked rather as "Yes – and-and!". it did not constrain itself(himself) from the problems and with them of emotions which pulled hard on it. – To mother it is bad! Come soon in hospital!
The belief for a second became puzzled: she could not understand how in general it is possible? When she left, everything was normal, and now? Really something occurred? Something that she did not know yet? And what it costs here? It has to be with the husband now, support him in a difficult situation. And it? Why it not there? Why here, at Three Station Square?
She hasty asked.
− you now in what hospital?
− I in Burdenko. Chamber number thirteen.
The belief immediately caught the taxi and, continuing to speak by phone, went to institute of Burdenko.
From Vera's memoirs
Today I was at institute of Burdenko. Visited Nadezhda, Roman's mother. Show. The hope lay in chamber of resuscitation, she could not move hands and legs. Full paralysis. Roman sat in a corridor on a bench. Now expression "on it was appropriate there is no person". Yes, wished nobody it. I asked it how his mother. On what he heaved a deep sigh, and I understood that his mother is bad.
The doctor told that she is paralyzed, and added that she, perhaps, had some stress. Also he added that it is possible it will be forever chained to a bed or to a wheelchair and that it after an extract from hospital will need leaving. Also he suggested to send in this case her to a nursing home or a hospice, but Roman told that to it not to happen. He is still able to take care of the mother.
I asked Roman that I happened? What he answered that "last night Larisa came to them, and imposed requirement that I married her. She was not concerned by such concepts as morals or any other concept, she wanted that I married it, motivating it with the fact that I with it spent that ill-fated night, and she is pregnant". What Roman objected to and, having shown it results of analyses, told that he just purely physically could not conceive it the child, and the fact that it carries in the belly, cannot even be its work remotely. But Larisa claimed that it not so that she did not deceive him that it is his child, but not any other man. But Roman did not trust it and as it is possible to trust that person who insolently deceives you − in any way differently it will not call. Deception and only what else to tell?
His mother was though the tolerant woman, but also she could not stand aside. She squoze the word and did not restrain. It could be heard anywhere, and at first heart, then nerves did not sustain all this horror. To it it became bad, and then paralysis. It confined her to the bed, now she could not move even a finger. And fed her through a tube.
The novel exposed Larisa from the apartment, but it, leaving, told the following: that it is a pity to it, and she will make everything that his mother recovered. What Roman just on it bellowed so at that she was frightened of his furious and mad look.