At this moment a video interrupts, and there is nothing else. I don’t know how exactly two of its parts are connected. There should be some clue to tell it. I suppose in the second part there is probably nothing that can give any link. I only can tell that, actually, I forgot about one peculiar thing about the second part of the footage. In the room where two girls met there were big picture windows too.
Some Notes on Attractiveness of Voyeurism and Peeping. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin
What makes voyeurism so attractive? Maybe it is the feeling of having some power to break barriers that the others don’t want you to break. That may give a person some position that may look to him as a position of some moderate dominance. And possibly, it is not a privilege over those who are watched, but even more over those who would like to watch, but who can’t join the voyeur being not a part of the club.
I don’t know what exactly it can be that makes it so exciting about secret voyeurism for others, because me, myself, I would prefer if someone would know. I would like if someone would willingly perform some sexy trick for me like a striptease or something else, maybe even of a more peculiar nature. I mean, it is really nice when someone wants to please you. But what is it when someone doesn’t? And how can you know for sure that someone would be not offended in a case when it all would be discovered somehow? The thing is that the real voyeurs might be not interested in the evident exhibitionists at all. That is why some analysts may classify voyeurism as some paraphilia.
It is an interesting question. How many people would reject an opportunity for watching someone in some intimate moments, if having the opportunity and knowing there will be no punishment? Modern times evidently provide us with too many reality shows that are too popular to deny the fact that the people like to watch other people doing things. And that may have deep roots. As we know from the legends, particularly from this about Lady Godiva, sometimes even a punishment won’t stop a person from it. Peeping Tom is probably only a fictional character, but it doesn’t matter in the case. People believe that such a person could exist. I mean, that if people believe that a person could cast a glance at the noble women as she rode nude on the horse through the street, even under punishment of death, then it means that the people do believe it is possible for a person to behave in this manner. At least partly. And if it is possible to behave so under strictest punishment, then, of course, many would do it when feeling themselves safe. And also would we like to watch someone noble or no matter whom? Maybe a lot of people would like to watch the celebrities and rich ladies and gentlemen of contemporary in their most intimate moments as they replaced the kings and queens for us. Is it a subconscious desire to destroy their advantage over others and to share their benefits by the gift of secret knowledge? It is difficult to answer these questions.
Actually, before modern reality shows, there was Playboy magazine that was extremely popular in times before the world wide web as it was a unique chance to see photos of pretty women undressed. They were not of a noble origin, but they were good-looking. And the Lady from Coventry also was supposed to be very pretty as she was a wife of a powerful man. Maybe there is something about possession. Her husband had power, he possessed the lives of people in the land and also her beauty. But when she at least, in theory, provided others with a chance to see her nude, she broke her husband’s dominion. She manifested her own right of possession.
So, when we talk about why people like to watch, there is a similar question on another side. Many stars seem to want to be exposed or even involved in a sex scandal as it potentially means more of stardom. People today who want to become stars perceive many such spicy elements as a regular part of celebrity life. The truth is that they also understand many other quite uncomfortable things about stardom like this. In this way, you may say that they want it. Some of them indeed will become stars. That means they will accept it as a part of the contract and on another side may even consider many forms of celebrity exhibitionism desirable. And in this case, poor Tom may be regarded not only as a victim but also as a necessary element or even a sort of lover. It is considered that Cleopatra kept executing her lovers just after a single night of love. But there is no evidence that she had no pleasure those nights. So, maybe if we return to the image of the Lady of Coventry, we may suppose that she should’ve expected that someone would watch no matter. And that is what gives a spice to a situation. Actually, for me personally, Cleopatra and Godiva are two different characters. I would prefer the initial version of the legend. I mean one without Peeping Tom as this character appeared in folklore later and made this story more vulgar. Godiva probably is not a person who wanted to kill someone. She wanted to liberate poor people from the excessive power of her cruel husband. And at the same time, she found a peculiar way to break free from him with the help of her sexual attractiveness. She manifested her sexuality. And it was strong enough to direct the power in the entire city. Regarded this way she could have an own motivation for the ride. Yes, it doesn’t diminish her merit. But still, it means she had it. And it’s interesting that in this case, we can’t say who is watching whom. In some meaning. Lady has still more power than a supposed citizen. So, it looks like good voyeurism is impossible without good exhibitionism. Two sides – voyeur and showman are nothing without each other. Like in any interaction, the pleasure of the other improves the experience.
Maybe the right question about that is not – what is so attractive about the voyeurism? But it is – what is so sexually attractive about the voyeurism? Remember Freud. He once said, at least as it is considered, that culture is repressive to the sexual nature of human beings. And the culture and the civilization probably began as soon as Adam and Eve put on the skins of animals as they were exiled from the Eden. Do we try to reveal more of nature into the others and in ourselves sometimes? Or maybe we are just always searching for the Sacred Garden from which the human race was once exiled?
I don’t know… It looks like today I am not able to say something really worthy. I don’t know why people do it, but what I know for sure is that the people do it. And they do it quite often.
Nov, 7. Susan’s Interview Two. from Dictaphone Record. by Martin and Elise
Martin: We stopped at the moment when you decided, as you called it, to see what the place was. Right?
Susan: Huh… yep.
M.: Now, I would like you to tell me what the next thing in this story was. Did you come to see the place?
S.: Yes, I did. I told Jane I would like to see it and then maybe to decide if possible, of course. I always expected some fun whenever we went to some new place with Jane no matter was it another shop where I never bought a new T-shirt before or another art gallery. Or something. So, a couple of days after she said I could join, I decided I could look at it, at least. And a couple of days later, Jane led me there. After hours we left the building together, and there was a big expensive car waiting for us. We went outside the city, in some suburb area where there were mostly villas and big houses. We stopped in front of a luxurious villa. It was a big and beautiful house. What I thought when I saw it – I didn’t remember that before I ever visited such a house. And that should be very nice to be at the party at such place… Yep… It is luxurious and pretty [soft laughter]. Yes, I think that was exactly what I thought about it. When we were out of the car, we crossed a little garden. There were a little garden and a big pool. Two great things I immediately noticed. Then we directed to the entrance, and Jane told me that I should remember about keeping secrets. Remember we keep secrets carefully here. She said something like this. When I was inside, I felt myself to be a small person. There was too much of space inside. It was something like a two-story foyer. Jane led me to some nice room where there was a sofa, and we sat there. Then she came out and returned with some cocktails. She said we needed to wait until the Head – it’s a ruling person – would arrive. She said it would be soon. And we actually spent some time pleasantly. We were talking the nice talks and drinking the nice cocktails.
During this time I made an acquaintance with one girl who worked there. She was very nice-looking and well-humored. She was not very tall and with a pretty face. Her name was Ann. Jane told me that Ann was a person who worked with clients. She brings papers to sign and all of that. She performs some necessary legal thing. And stuff like this. As Jane said, usually she didn’t perform any role.
M.: What does it mean – a role? Did Jane tell you something about how the Agency worked then?
S.: That was exactly what she explained to me while we were waiting. She explained that the first rule is that it all should be secret, at least for some time, the second rule – she said – that it undoubtedly should be secret [giggle]. She also told me that it isn’t a person involved in the game who places the order for it. The client should be someone familiar with this person and who wants to entertain this person. It’s like making a pretty secret gift, well, something like that.
Elise: Excuse me. I’m going to interrupt you. You said there were cocktails. Did you drink a lot? Do you think there could be something unusual mixed in them?
S.: No… I think they were the usual cocktails.
M.: Go on. You were explaining how the contract is signed. What were the other special features of the Agency?
S.: What was special? Uh… There was a specific system of terms like Lead Hero, Scenario, Players, and other things.
M.: And what does Players mean?
S.: Player means a person who helps to make it all. It is someone from the Agency who entertains the Lead Hero.
M.: So, that Lead Hero is a principal person in all of this?
S.: Yes, it is possible to say so. Lead Hero is our center of attention. It is his pleasure which is the most important.
M.: And Ann? Was she the player?
S.: As I understood, usually she wasn’t, but she could have some minor part sometimes. At least that was what Jane told me.
M.: You were telling about your first day in the Agency. We interrupted you when Ann arrived, and you were drinking cocktails. Go on. Would you tell us what happened then?
S.: Then… Ann, she was not drinking with us. Jane said Ann always stays one hundred percent sober, no matter what. I thought she was joking. While we were waiting, I saw another player, I mean another one besides Jane. I wasn’t sure that she is a player, but then I understood it was so, after some time. She just flashed to me when a door to another room was open for a moment. It was one second, but I saw her. She was gorgeous, a woman – not a girl… And then the Head of the Agency appeared. I was sitting alone on the sofa with a soft drink in my hand. And Jane returned from another part of the house and told me that if I didn’t change my mind she, the mistress, would see me. As I understood then, the leader of the group was a woman too. Well, then Jane showed me where her cabinet was. I opened a door and went in. I was a bit afraid and excited at the same time. It was a room without windows. I think it is an important detail, somehow. I saw her for the first time, at that moment she was sitting at her table, and she was reading something. She was unaware. Like she didn’t notice my presence. She was a tall woman. And she wore some kind of official costume. Behind her, there was a shelf with a lot of folders on it. Another thing I immediately noticed was their logo across the wall. It was a line of big unusual letters. It read Venus Agency. That is, as I understood, their name. For some time it was like she did not know that I existed at all. But then she moved her head and looked at me directly. That glance of her made me feel differently. She had beautiful green eyes. And there was something strict about how she looked. Maybe it was her costume. And also maybe some serious manner in which she behaved. As I remember she was always wearing such things and behaving this way. So, she actually made an impression like a high-class teacher from a very prestigious school. Yeah. You never had a feeling that you knew more than she did. Then we had a little talk, and I actually didn’t get any new information. There was probably nothing that Jane didn’t tell me before. Maybe only it was told more formally. So, it didn’t add new things for that day, but just I got some respect for her. That was the thing she made you feel. No doubt. The respect for her. She had some kind of internal strength, I think. She said there was a new order they had, and they would start working on it next week. And as it was an easy job and it fitted for a newcomer, I could fit in if I wanted. And then I could decide whether I would like to work with them more permanently as she explained. And also one more time she asked me no matter what to keep it secret. She said it had to be all kept an absolute secret at least for a couple of months. It is the interest of their clients, and that is very important. In this way.
M.: And what was your answer? Did you agree?
S.: I agreed, but it took another couple of days to do so. She gave me her phone number and told me at what hours I could call. And so I telephoned her. And I said I was ready to start. It was a special moment in my life, I suppose. I was a bit worried. But also excited, again. That day I talked to Jane about it. And she relaxed me.
M.: Did you feel you could trust her?
S.: Yes, sure. She is a lovely person.
M.: Did you feel it like you could confess any of your secrets to her? Was it that much?
S.: Well, I think it was. She is the best friend I ever had. She is the one you can trust.
E.: And then?
M.: Did you and Jane come somewhere to visit the client or probably a Lead Hero as you call it?
S.: No, we did not. I mean not that time. That time we came to the house again. To this luxurious mansion which was the Venus Agency’s home place. I adored their residence again as I remember. And as I was more relaxed that time, I just enjoyed its rooms and interiors. We just came here to discuss how it all would be. We, those who were supposed to take part, were told what to do and when. I was also briefed about simplest terms of their activities, despite the fact that Jane had already explained all that stuff to me. In this game [laughter] – it was the first one for me, and they call it the game – my role according to the scenario was simple. In general, I had to be present and… I just was needed to make a proper group. So, as there was nothing so complicated, I relaxed a bit, but not too much as I still couldn’t imagine how it would be. I actually could imagine it as they explained to me what we were going to do. But I mean… I could not feel it, you know. I suppose one can’t feel it before it happens. That’s for sure. So, as I got it. What we did there in the mansion was some sort of rehearsal.
M.: Rehearsal? You mean you staged it? And what did you rehearse?
S.: It was – as I told before – what we should’ve done then, when we would be there, at the place. They actually call the place a ground. It’s another term. There were five of us at the mansion that time. That included me, Jane, Ann, a girl whose name was Sally, and Jess. Jess is the name of the head girl. I didn’t tell you her name before. Jess acted as the Lead Hero. She took the place of this person, I mean.
M.: And did you know who would be the Lead Hero in that case?
S.: No, I didn’t. I was told it was a secret and no one but Jess knew about it.
M.: Do I understand it right? Jess was not supposed to participate on the spot when it would be done… for real?
S.: Yes, it was this way. She just impersonated the LH. And others were learning their roles. It was interesting that Ann was supposed to take part.
M.: Would you tell us about what happened when you actually met the Lead Hero?
S.: It was the next day. We, I mean myself and Jane, arrived at some private apartment. It was a good one and placed in a prestigious area of the city. And in the first moments, I was a bit afraid that there was no one here. Maybe I felt myself like a burglar. But then I’ve noticed.