– Tell where it is possible in Moscow will stop?
This question set Luda thinking. She is Emmanuel to Moscow, but did not know where? Emmanuel did not tell the exact address. Though she even did not know it. You never know how many in Moscow of hotels? And not to count all. Luda told:
– In Moscow there are a lot of hotels, choose any. – then she added with an obvious smile. – But the prices in them transcendental.
Emmanuel specified:
– High?
– That word! Just transcendental. – then she added, kind of accidentally. – Now, clever people rent apartments – then she added. – So much is cheaper.
Emmanuel thought:
– In you consider that it is easier to rent apartment for a month?
Luda answered:
– Watching it from a purse so whether the person can live in the rental apartment? – then she added. – Whether neighbors you know at us nervous, slightly that in a fight. – it having looked at Emmanuel, and having seen her confused look, threw. – And however, whatever you may say, in hotel it is better. Entered the number, and do that you want. – then she added with an obvious jeer. – What then to pay money for if there is nothing to do?
Emmanuel having looked at Luda, told:
– You are wrong. – then she added. – Here in Europe …
Without having managed to finish a phrase as suddenly Luda interrupted Emmanuel, having grumbled:
– In Europe in Europe that all of you with the Europe? We not in Europe, and in Russia and whether here you know the orders.
Emmanuel was surprised. She did not expect in any way that Luda will flare up. It seemed Emmanuel quite sane woman, and here? However, who wants abroad? That in subconsciousness understands that perhaps he makes a mistake, and emigration is a mistake. But there's nothing to be done. As they live, it is impossible to live in Russia. Emmanuel asked:
– Tell if there would be such opportunity, you would remain in Russia?
Luda having looked at Emmanuel told of nothing. She just looked at Dmitrovskoye Highway Road, and it was by the form visible that it is painful to it to speak about it. Russia – her house. The house where it grew, and lived all the life. How it is possible to throw the house? To leave the country where was born and carried out all the life on the foreign land? It seems to me, it is possible only in that case when this house became really others, and the foreign land the native ancestral lands.
Luda perhaps loved Russia, but here she could not live. She did not understand it. For it it became others house, and the abroad to the family. And though she regretted that she should leave this country, the chistika her heart perhaps will remain in Russia. She told Emmanuel weepingly:
– Of course I love Russia, but I cannot live in it. – Luda stopped a car, and I will look at Emmanuel with the female tear-stained eyes, admitted. – I always loved and I will love Russia. Whatever it was. – then she added. – Russia – my house. – she heaved a deep sigh. – What waits for me there, in the foreign land?
Emmanuel heaved a deep sigh. She understood Luda and wanted to help it. Help can be only in a word? To tell it what will encourage it will bring out of this crisis in which it is now. Emmanuel carefully asked:
– With you everything is all right?
– Yes. – Luda told wiping tears. Now, when from her face make-up was removed, and she became similar on broken by a grief and the dirty woman, it having stared at Emmanuel who looked at it, puzzly asked. – What?
Emmanuel told:
– You should recover and to make toilet.
Luda puzzly looked in a pocket mirror of a rear view, and having seen the blubbered and dirty person in its reflection, puzzly wondered. – It who? – then she having got accustomed, understood that she from a pocket mirror of a rear view watches its own reflection at her, hard told. – It not I! – having touched a hand the person, she understood that she nevertheless watches its own reflection at it, and then she told herself. – What for the ugly creature looks at me? I such. – then, it got from a car glove compartment, clean disposable napkins, and began to wipe tears around eyes, at the same time smearing the already removed make-up on the person. Then, seeing that nothing is impossible to it, she grumbled. – Yes that for misfortunes it?
Emmanuel seeing that things look bad. They stood in the middle of Dmitrovskoye Highway Road, to them the drivers who are running in their machine signaled, and pointing a finger at them, released obscene expressions in their address. Seeing all this, Emmanuel took business in hand, having told:
– Apparently here business will not do without beauty shop.
Without having caught that told Emmanuel, having turned to it the head, Luda asked:
– What?
Emmanuel answered:
– You should wash. – then she asked. – There is some institution that you could make toilet?
– Is. – answered Emmanuel. – Here, nearby.
– Will you be able to reach there?
– Yes. – Luda answered. – I will be able.
But she could not drive the car. The stress received by it did not allow it to drive the car further.
Emmanuel told:
– You cannot continue a trip in such state.
Luda agreed with Emmanuel. But at the same time told:
– I am a driver who will bring you to hotel?
Emmanuel unambiguously answered:
– I. – then she added. – If resolve.
Luda puzzly looked at Emmanuel. For all its practice, nobody offered it it.
– Do you joke?
– No. – answered Emmanuel. – I is quite serious.
– And you have rights?
– Is. – then she added. – Yes who will stop us? Taxi stop as well as all cars for violation of the high-speed mode.
– No. – Luda objected. – Only for it.
– And for what?
Luda grinned.
– To earn additionally.
Emmanuel did not understand humour.
– What do you mean?
– And even I mean – Luda blurted out with hatred. – The Russian militia wallowed in corruption. – then she blurted out. – They stop cars to earn additionally. – then she explained. – To take from us money for which violations we did not make.
Emmanuel was terrified:
– This crime! Where does the police look?
– At you the Police and laws which observe at us the law are a green piece of paper, that its advantages are higher, it is better for those. – then she threw. – And the law for fools.
Emmanuel puzzly questioned:
– And where watches the government?
Luda grinned, she carelessly threw:
– Government? Хм? To them to deal with the power, and it could not care less of corruption. – it having made a pause, added. – Yeltsin took the country in hand, and now to him to hold the power. Whether joke, first president of free Russia. – then she added. – All want to be fed from its bucket, all want the power.
– Are sure?
– Absolutely. – unambiguously Luda said, and with not neglect threw. – How many parties divorced, yes will not put too much salt in salt-salt. All in the power climb, a coma laziness. – then she took an interest. – Tell Emmanuel, in Europe also?
Emmanuel shrugged shoulders, having told at the same time:
– The power is identical everywhere, and its achievements are various.
– There can be you and are right. – Luda agreed. – Power and money, interdependent from each other. – Luda having put itself more or less in order, having turned a key ignition, having pressed the accelerator pedal went further. It went without knowing that it will be with it. Now she should have calmed down and to bring Emmanuel to the nearest hotel. It having looked at Emmanuel, carefully took an interest. – Will not you object if I come to myself home? – then she assured Emmanuel. – I from you will not take money.
Emmanuel as the woman understood Luda. She could not drive the car in such state. Their harmless conversation led to unexpected consequences. Luda was in a hysterics. It could not conduct a car. But nevertheless she drove the car. Sitting in a driver's seat, she could not entrust a wheel of this car to whom was.
– Well. – Emmanuel agreed. Then she asked. – And where do you live?
– Nearby. – Luda answered. – In one quarter.
– Well. – told Emmanuel. Then it kind of encouraging her added. – Life for you only begins. Forget all sorrows and adversities, and live. Lead life, and rejoice it.
– You are right. – Luda agreed. – It is necessary to live it is happy. – she made a sad pause, and with grief on heart added as if approving the correctness. – Only in this country. – then she suggested. – Perhaps here it will be ever possible to live – it having made a heavy pause, and added. – But not now.
Emmanuel told nothing. She looked out of the car window, and thought of something. Perhaps she thought of that why it here? In this country. It perhaps will never find the truth here. Buried under a paper heap, it was handed over in archive, and hardly she will see the light sometime. The governments of all countries are able to keep the secrets and to share them or nobody is going to disclose them.
However, perhaps Emmanuel thought of Luda. Its attitude towards Russia. It was obvious that she did not want to leave this country, but in it it hardly became happy. Happiness for all the. It for each person individual, and hardly someone will share it with somebody.
So they approached one of houses. The car stopped near one of entrances to the address, Yablokov D. № 18 Street. Luda killed the car engine, and having addressed Emmanuel, told:
– Here we also arrived.
Chapter-4
Invitation on a visit
Emmanuel went out of the car-TAXI, behind her there was Luda. Luda told:
– Here I live. – then she added. – You have probably other houses.
Emmanuel having looked at the house and having examined the house, told:
– Houses are similar at each other, people different everywhere.
– You are absolutely right Emmanuel. – Luda agreed. – People everywhere different – then she added Voland's word from the work by M.A. Bulgakov "Master and Margarita". – The housing problem spoiled them.
Emmanuel having approached Luda to help to reach an entrance, admitted:
– I read Bulgakova too.
Luda having looked at Emmanuel, asked:
– Did you read only one his work?
– What you? – was surprised Emmanuel, and hurried to add. – Of course not. – then she added. – I read Mikhail Afanasyevich Bulgakov much. – then she added. – Whether you know, my relatives from Imperial Russia. They fled Russia in the seventeenth year.
Luda having knowingly looked at Emmanuel, with understanding assumed:
– Did you probably always want to return to Russia?
Emmanuel quietly answered:
– To that Russia which was at the CPSU – no.
– And in present?
– I always wanted to live freely as I want to live. – then she added. – I cannot recognize present Russia as the free country. – it having made a pause, added. – I cannot answer you this question unambiguously. Russia is Russia, it has to spread the wings from the Soviet mode now – its dictatorships. And then who knows? Maybe Russia will be the great country? Who knows?
They reached an entrance, and having opened a door entered an entrance. Women approached the elevator, and having pressed the elevator call button, Luda told:
– I am fast.
– You do not hurry. – answered Emmanuel. – I do not hurry.
The elevator opened the doors, and women having entered inside, and Luda pressed the button of the third floor. Doors of the elevator were closed, and the elevator having risen on the third the floor of an apartment house opened the doors. Women went out of the elevator, and having turned to the right, women approached to the leader's door in a corridor of apartments, and having got keys from a jacket pocket, opened a door, and having entered a corridor Luda locked for herself a door. Then they approached to the first door from an entrance on the left side, and Luda having opened a door a key, women entered the apartment, and Luda closed a door and locked it. Having taken off footwear, and having put on slippers Emmanuel asked:
– Where do you have a bathroom?
Luda showed the door on the left side from an entrance.
Emmanuel entered her, and Luda passed in a doorway which conducted to the room. Having entered the room Luda, saw the grandfather Grigory Ivanovich sleeping on the sofa. About it it was possible to write much and all the same you will not write what could be written about it. Let he will tell about himself. But not now. Now he slept on the sofa, and had a dream. It is unlikely I can write what dreamed the seventy-year-old person this day? Let it will remain a secret. But nevertheless one can be told about it now. It had a light sleep and when Luda entered the room Grigory Ivanovich asked:
– Luda, who with you?
Luda having looked at Grigory Ivanovic told:
– I thought you sleep? – then she in a polite courteous form added. – Father.
Grigory Ivanovich having opened eyes, reminded:
– I sensitively sleep, this is time to know.
– I know it.
– Then what to tell? – he got up from a sofa, and having seen a tear-stained face of the daughter, immediately asked:
– What has happened? Why you in such look? Someone offended? – then he assumed. – This is the guest? Or who?
Lisa answered:
– This guest, and it here and.
The father approached the daughter, and assumed:
– Again nightmares?
– No. – Luda assured him. – These are not nightmares. – then she added. – I cannot just live as I live.
– I know. – with a consolation the father told it, and having heaved a deep sigh added, kind of consoling the daughter Luda. – I know. – then he added. – Study the daughter, and it is possible at you life will be better, than at me. I lived it so that I had no choice, and you have it.
– Father. – Luda told weepingly. – I always wanted to leave this country.
– Well – the father agreed. it can so will better who knows? – it having lovingly looked at the beloved daughter, told. – ah you my silly fellow. – then he heard as the door in a bathroom was closed, and he told. – The guest waits. – then he took an interest. – from where it?
Luda answered:
– From France.
– Well, we will listen as is there, in the foreign land?
Luda told:
– I should make toilet.
– Of course.
He pulled trousers and having put on a shirt, told.
– Make toilet, and I will accept the guest.
She does not speak Russian.
– Anything. – Grigory Ivanovich promised. – Let's understand.
Meanwhile Emmanuel having left a bathroom the room, having called Luda, and not having waited for the answer, decided to pass at one of doors to find the hostess of the apartment. But without having managed to open one of doors as she saw the man leaving one of doorways. He closed behind itself(himself) a door, and having looked at the woman standing nearby, lost a speech power. It seemed to it at this moment that very long time ago the left ghost returned. Ghosts, they always come back. They live around us. We do not notice them also they and do not want that they were noticed. They are invisible. We sometimes feel their presence. But we do not see them. And not because we cannot see them but because they want that they were seen. However, there are past ghosts. They pursue us in our memoirs. Our brain does not want that we forgot them, and sometimes it returns our memory to that starting point of our life which we would like to forget and not to remember at all. Now, looking on Emmanuel, Grigory Ivanovich remembered what he tried to forget, and almost already forgot if this meeting. A meeting which changed in his life if everything, then a lot of things. The matter is that this woman facing it reminded him of its former adventures, it is a lot of years ago. In those times when Russia was the USSR. When the Iron Curtain of dictatorship of the proletariat fell by the earth. When all lived under the Iron Curtain. Then. Then and not earlier, Grigory Ivanovich met her in any way. The woman who subdued it. Called this woman Praskoviya Fiodorovna. That woman who was grandmother Emmanuel. Yes, this was it. Its exact copy. Praskoviya Fiodorovna's copy Grigory Ivanovich stood, looked at it without looking away. It seemed to it that the past returned. Praskoviya Fiodorovna here, near this woman. Near the guest who was brought by Luda, his daughter.