She took the coffee and sat, putting eggs on her plate. She realized his emotions were like a radio station. She could choose to tune in and listen or turn the sound down. He was worried, upset. Tell me.
Theyre not going to release the body for at least a week. Theres not a whole lot of it left, and she thinks you should have a talk with Kathy about having the body cremated in Portland and then sent down here. Save her any trauma of seeing Allie in that condition.
Shed had a feeling it would be like that.
I went over it with her last night. I didnt want to alarm her or give her more detail than she needs. She doesnt need to know all of it. Hell, I wish I didnt know it all. But I did say there was no chance of an open casket for a viewing and I did push for a cremation. Shes not going to be pleased about the delay in releasing the body but I get it. They want to see what the hell is going on. That scene, it was like out of a movie. The authorities are going to start talking occult or something like that soon. I called Owen about it. Theyre dealing with a bunch of stuff right now as well. More disappearances all over the country.
He ate quietly, watching her.
What?
Will you come back with me? To Portland?
She sucked in a breath. Yes. I mean, I do need to be around to help Kathy when she needs it. But right now her family is there. I cant go back to work. Dexter said, when I told him, see what comes of mixing with them, and I knew right then I had to quit. Ill give my notice but time it so I dont have to go back at all. Save them the trouble of disciplining me, I guess. Itll look better on a job application elsewhere if I didnt get fired.
She felt the hot rush of his anger at that. Gonna take some getting used to. This connection thing.
Strong emotions are easiest to feel through the bond. I cant believe hed be so heartless. It makes me want to punch him in the face.
Get in line. I dont get it, but I cant waste any more time on trying to get him to see the error of his ways. I know there are some pretty good guys left. Ill speak to them to be sure they keep an eye on Kathy.
Good idea. Do you think shed go away for a while? For safetys sake?
She shook her head. No way. She has a life here. She wont go. But her sister will stay on a month or two so that will help. She sighed. I just cant be here right now. Shes everywhere and I cant. Theres like part of me missing. I keep reaching for it to use it, to pick up the phone and call her to tell her about you, about this, and I cant because shes gone.
He got up and moved to her, pulling her into a hug. Her upset smoothed a little.
Youre like Prozac.
He chuckled. The bond has a lot of plusses. You have that effect on me too. Still, I wish I could make this better. I wish it ended differently for her. You did all you could. I wish you could see that.
I wish I could too. Maybe after some time goes by. She suspected shed feel like a failure over this for the rest of her days. Shes gone and Im not. If I saw something earlier. If I had tried this or that. I dont know. But she died alone and terrified, and I wasnt there to save her.
His arms tightened around her. I know. And it kills me for both of your sakes. I believe you did all you could and more. But I know you and understand youre going to run it over and over and over until youre convinced you did all you could and maybe thatll never happen for you. I want to shoulder all your burdens but I get that I cant in every case. Now that were bound, its like that imperative is turned up to twelve on the dial. I want to sling you over my shoulder and run away with you. Take you somewhere no one can find us. But I also realize thats not going to happen. So well have to work it through. Together though. Because thats what has to happen. You need to let me help.
I know. Im trying. I guess the anchor thing needs to happen now. Or soon.
He sucked in a breath. Yes. It should be in the next day or two. There are some wolves coming in from Boston. Late this afternoon, actually. Thats why I was asking if you were coming back home with me. Well aside from me wanting you with me in our place. I want to handle the security myself from the airport. Jack Meyers, hes the National Enforcer. Hes coming to Portland to meet with Tracy, Nick and Gabe before he heads up to Seattle for a meeting of the packs to talk about this whole mage thing. Therell be a lot of higher-ranked wolves around. Not Jack, hes mated, has a version of a tri-bond actually. But there will be others, unmated wolves.
Like an assortment of chocolates. Or a buffet. So what if, you know, we end up a threesome? Im not sure I can handle two alpha males. One is exhausting enough.
He snorted. Its going to be all right. Like I said, the whole threesome thing is totally rare. Jack is mated with a witch and a jaguar shifter. The witch and the jaguar were together first. Theyd imprinted, which is sort of the jaguar version of mating. And then Jack met her and she was his mate. Theyre all three together and mated. Its intense, but it totally works for them.
Im a witch. What if its some kooky witch thing?
We wont get you anywhere near a jaguar. He held back a grin but she felt his amusement anyway.
Har.
Its new to you. I know. Im just teasing. Its going to be fine. Gina is a witch and shes mated to Damon. No threesome, just the two of them.
Are you anyones anchor? Gah! Maybe I dont want to know. I guess I have to know because this is like part of your wolf thing. But I have to be friends with some chick you had sex with and youre sort of mated to? She realized, slightly panicked, that she was going to have to sex up a near stranger shed be bonded to on some level. Did she shave her legs that day?
He kissed her nose. Im not, no. And now that Im mated, its not ever going to happen, so thats that. As for the tri-bond? I think you should look at this as a hot thing. He slid his thumb over her bottom lip. Hot sex with someone, sanctioned by your mate.
Are you going to be there? In the room, I mean?
I think yes. Id go crazy if I wasnt. Is that all right?
This is all so weird.
He grinned. Sit and finish your breakfast. I brought boxes so you can pack up your car and mine, and we can go home. My place is our place now.
Avoiding the subject?
No. But I think you need some time to digest all this, and then when we get to Portland, you can meet more wolves and we can work it out and it wont be as weird. Hopefully. Im sorry youre uncomfortable. Well, part of me is happy because it means youre not jumping all over having sex with someone else. But I dont want you to be unhappy.
Im rolling with it the best I can.
I know.
Chapter Eleven
He met Jack and the rest of his wolves at the airport. Michelle was heading to his apartment once she got back to town to unpack her things. Shed stopped by Allies moms place on her way out of town so he knew shed need some time on her own to process.
He smiled. Her things in his place. Their place now. Hed pick her up when theyd gotten everyone settled in, and theyd go to a pack dinner where shed be introduced as his mate.
Congratulations are in order, I hear. Jack grinned his way.
Thank you. Its a good day to be me. This being-mated thing is pretty sweet. No wonder all you guys walk around smiling all the time.
It is indeed a good thing. Tell me about her.
Of all things, shes my high school sweetheart. My first love. I left Roseburg and everyone in it behind when I was bitten. Anyway, she showed up at the offices downtown needing our help, and it turns out shes my mate. And a witch, which I never knew. Shes a cop. Beautiful. Brilliant. A badass with some mad skills with a handgun. Shes perfect.
Oh the goofy smile and glazed eyes of the newly mated. Jack laughed. Its a great story though. One your kids are going to love. Also being a cop means shell understand your job, which is good.
And she can defend herself in the face of all this crazy stuff with the mages. Akio Minami, Jacks right hand in his Enforcer crew, spoke from the back seat.
Yes, that too. This is some shit. This murder scene we found her friend at? Ive seen a lot, but what theyd done to this witch? I want to lock her up in my place with fifty guards all armed to the teeth.
Jack growled. His mate was a witch too, so he understood, all too well, the nature of this threat and how it hit so very close to home.
Cade wanted me to relay how much hed appreciate it if youd take Akio out to the scene. We should have as much information shared as possible. Weve had our own trouble with the mages out our way, as you know. I want him to compare the scents to see if there are any connections.
Josh nodded as he headed to the old Pacific Pack House where Nicks parents, the retired Alpha pair, still lived. Visiting wolves often stayed there, and big meetings and gatherings were held there.
We can go out tomorrow if that works. The Joining is tonight. The Joining was the ceremony where a mate was presented to the pack, and if he or she wasnt already a member, theyd be made members after swearing fealty to the Alphas.
Jack was an anchor to Tracys sister-in-law Grace, the female National Alpha, which made him like family in a very real sense. It was a good thing to have him at the ceremony later that night.
Yes, that would be fine. Thank you, Akio said.
Hows she on the tri-bond?
Nervous. I had to talk her down earlier when she was convinced wed have a threesome like you and Tracy have.
Truth be told, its a nice thing to have another male around to deal with our beautiful but totally headstrong woman. I expect Gabe and Nick feel the same.
Dont go mentioning any of that around her, thanks.
Jack laughed. Im pretty smooth when I want to be, dumbass.
He dropped them off and headed back home to get his mate.
He got home and breathed in deep. Her scent, her magick hung in the air, mixing with his.
She wandered out and smiled at the sight of him, though her eyes were still puffy from all the crying, and that sense of sadness over the loss of her friend still emanated from her. Everyone get in okay?
He nodded, moving to her to kiss her. Everything is much better now that Im here with you. How is Kathy?
Really sedated. She did understand what I said when I told her about the delay in releasing Allie. Shes not happy. But Allies aunt did convince her to have a funeral home up here handle things. They have the number here and my cell. I didnt go into a lot of detail about moving up here, but I mentioned Id reconnected with you and that we were together.
What about your mom?
She made a face but he felt a twinge of her sadness. I left a voicemail. Shes not in town. But I cant imagine shes going to care much one way or the other.
Her loss. Were family now.
She nodded.
He followed her back to the bedroom where shed already unpacked several boxes. Youve gotten a great start. Can I help unpack?
No, Ive got it. I took over the dresser in the other room. Yours is too full.
I told you to take three of the drawers in here. He frowned.
You have a lot of clothes, Josh. Its okay. The dresser in the other room was pretty much empty. I did take a few of the drawers in your closet for my underwear. Do I have to dress up for this thing tonight? I mean like cocktail stuff or what?
A dress would be good, but not like black tie. We have people in from another pack so its good to look nice. But youre gorgeous so thats already handled.
She held up two dresses, a bright green one and a red one.
The green one, definitely.
Its a bit more low cut than the red. Is that okay?
He barked a laugh. Am I okay with your boobs being visible?
She blushed. Not all of them! Just my cleavage.
Im always okay with cleavage.
She looked over at the clock. When do we have to be there?
He took one look and groaned. We need to leave here in about half an hour.
Shit! She grabbed the dress and headed into the bathroom where he could see shed taken over half the space, and the sink on the left. You stay back with your sex eyes, mister. I have to get ready and we dont have time for what youre after.
I can make it good and quick too.
She snorted, rolling her eyes. You are not a quick type. And Id have to shower afterward or everyone would know exactly what we were up to before we arrived.
She shucked her clothes, and he leaned back and watched, fingers itching to touch all that skin.
Theyre going to assume it anyway.
I already took a shower. I want to look good for this, Josh. All the females you took for a ride will be there, and I want people to think you made out okay instead of oh bummer, look what poor Josh bonded with.
He moved to her, pulling her in for a long slow kiss. He licked his lips, taking one last taste of her before he stepped away a little.
You could show up in a garbage bag and theyd still think I was a very lucky wolf. As for those other females? They know who you are and what you are. And thats everything. You understand?
She gave him a smile. Yeah, yeah.
He grabbed a quick shower and got dressed as she got ready, putting on makeup and doing her hair in tousled curls around her face.
At least the party thing was stressful enough to give her something else to worry over beside the awful weight of Allies loss. It was strange to have so much happiness in her life even as at the same time she drowned in crushing, horrible sadness.
Shed spent the hours driving back to Portland alternating between tears and happiness. But he helped. Being around him helped, soothed her. Though she also understood he realized she was in pain and that she had every right to feel like crap because of it.
But life went on and she had to do all this stuff. The tri-bond thing especially. Gina had talked to her a little about it when shed called to ask her opinion on what to wear that night. Ginas anchor lived in Portland, and they had dinner with him a least twice a month. He and Damon were good friends. Michelle didnt want to say she thought it was weird. Though she did. But who was she to judge? It was someone elses culture, and shed have to find her own peace with it because in a big way, it was her culture now too.
So she sucked it up because there was nothing else to do but suck it up and try to move forward.
Tracy came out as they pulled up, the girls practically bouncing at the sight of Josh. When he got out of the car, they clapped and started calling his name. He grinned at them but moved to get Michelles door first.
Wow, Michelle, you look great! Tracy laughed as the girls leapt into Joshs arms. They giggled and kissed his cheeks as Tracy made her way over. Welcome. To Pacific and to the house and all that. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your friend. Anything we can do to help is yours. I know youre starting over up here, so please know youve got a shoulder and an ear whenever you need it. You dont know me well, but Id like us to be friends. I moved here and didnt know anyone either.
Touched, she nodded. Thanks, I appreciate it. Its all so much. I feelI dont know anything. Not just about your world but my own really. I dont want to embarrass Josh or do something wrong.
Plenty of folks who are happy to share. Just ask and if we can get you the answer we will.
Im nervous, Michelle blurted out.
I know there are a lot of people here, but theyre all here to celebrate you. To welcome you. This is something really special to us. The bond, I mean. Josh is so happy. Everyone is going to see that. He leads them, keeps them safe. To see him happy and with his mate is a good thing. My pack will see you as a positive. Even before they meet you, theyll think that.
Aw, thanks. But I also mean the anchor thing.
Tracy took her hands and squeezed. Thats going to be all right too. I mean. Tracy shrugged and looked around the area, full of ridiculously gorgeous people. Theyre all beautiful. Youre beautiful. Josh is hot. Justits part of the process. Let it happen. Its your choice, you know.
Tracy walked with her up the steps and into the house. Josh had the hands of both girls as he followed.
Lets see. Tracy scanned the room. Ah, so over there, thats Trace. Hes here from Cascadia. Hes ranked lower than Josh, but his power level is high. High enough to be the Alpha of his own pack anywhere else. Hes an Enforcer too, works for my sister, who runs the Enforcer team up there.
Trace had long pale hair tied loosely back from his face. Piercing brown eyes.
Over there is Erik, hes visiting here from Boston with Jack, that hot blond-surfer-looking dude.
Jack is the National Enforcer, right? Hes also in a threesome and hes anchored to your sister-in-law?
Youre a fast learner. Yes, thats Jack. Oh and then theres Akio. Akio is Jacks right hand.
Holy cow. Now that was a beautiful man in a room full of really exceptional-looking people.
Tracy continued. The anchor is special. They make a commitment to you to take on the weight of the death of a mate. Itshard to explain, but its more than just fucking. Your anchor is part of your family. None of them agrees to do it lightly. Were all a bit superstitious, wolves I mean. We believe in fate and all that jazz. So just because an available wolf is around, he may not agree to serve as an anchor. There has to be chemistry. He has to really connect with the couple, the female sure, but also the male because theyre sort of partners in keeping the female safe.
Yeah, no pressure. Just a lifetime commitment to make a decision in a few minutes.
Tracy laughed. Its not always like that. I only knew Gabe for a day though. Sometimes you just know when its right.
Which, Michelle had to admit was true.
Akio took that moment to turn around and see them both staring at him. Well now. He was long and lithe, his dark hair loose, framing a face that would have dried the spit in any thinking womans mouth in seconds flat.
Damn, she whispered to Tracy.
Right? Tracy waved and he began to make his way over.
Josh moved to them, pausing to kiss Michelle. Sorry, I got caught up. Rose wanted to show me the picture she drew of Milton.
Akio approached and Josh held a hand out that Akio took. Akio, this is my mate, Michelle. Michelle, this is Akio Minami. Hes part of the Enforcer corps in Boston. Hes here with Jack and the wolves from National.
She smiled and he took her hand. Its nice to meet you. Josh was telling us all about you on the way over from the airport.
He had a great accent. So much Boston in it.
As she chatted with Akio, Josh put an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him, looking up at him with a smile. Hed seen this dozens of times. A member of his pack when theyd come to a Joining with a new bonded mate. Hed always thought it was great, but now that it was him, he understood the ridiculous smiles, the way theyd needed to touch so much.
As it was, wolves needed that contact. They were a touchy-feely group. But every time he put his hands on her, it soothed him, excited him, made him feel like hed just won something awesome.
And there was something between Akio and Michelle. Akio was the kind of male who listened more than he talked. Which was a quality Josh respected a great deal. But he came out of his shell when he was around people he genuinely enjoyed.
Like he was doing just then. Charming Michelle with stories of Boston and the wolves there.
Akio paused, a hand on her arm, when Jack called his name. Im sorry to interrupt. I need to go see what he needs. Im sure well talk more. Akio smiled and nodded to Josh before he headed to see what Jack needed.
Youre here! And look at you, the bond looks good on you. Gina came over and pulled Michelle into a hug.
Hi there. Michelle smiled at Gina, and Josh realized shed already made friends. He was totally grateful for that. They chatted, and Josh scanned the room automatically, always alert for any problems.
Akio stood with Nick and Jack, everyone wearing serious faces. Truth be told, hed thought Akio would be an excellent choice as an anchor. He was strong and smart. And he lived across the country so while he would of course be at their home for the holidays and that sort of thing, he wouldnt be in their same pack or the same city.
It would be easier on them all that way. Hed seen anchors pining for the woman they could not have, and he didnt wish that on anyone. He wanted Michelle to be close and comfortable with her anchor, but he sure as fuck didnt want any other male being in love with his woman. The distance would help with that.
Damon came over and hugged Michelle, and Josh nearly socked him in the face. He didnt stop a growl, which made Michelle tense up and give him a look laced with apprehension. Funny, he hadnt felt nearly this possessive when Akio had just touched Michelle. Another point to him as a possible anchor.
Gina snorted a laugh and patted Michelles arm. Theyre all like this with mates. Damon too. They dont really mean anything by it. Have you had anything to eat yet?
Lets get a toast and introduce Michelle to the pack. Tracy took Gabes hand as he approached.
Oh good idea. Josh bent and dropped a kiss on Michelles cheek. Welcome, beautiful, to Pacific.
Michele blushed and Josh breathed her in deep.
Tracy bustled off to gather everyone for the official Joining, and Michelle turned to Josh. So I get on my knees and say what to them?
Well both do it, side by side. All youll need to do is agree to swear fealty. Youre not a wolf, but through me, you share my rank. By swearing fealty, youre agreeing to shepherd the wolves in Pacific, to keep them safe and keep their best interests foremost in your words and deeds.
She nodded and took the glass of champagne Tracy handed her.
Tracy whistled loud and everyone gave her their attention.
Tonight we give witness to the Joining of Michelle Slattery, mate to Josh Neelan, to Pacific.
There were hoots and applause as Michelle looked over the room. So amazing to be welcomed like this. So many faces, openly friendly, smiling, pleased to welcome her.
Josh put a little pressure on her arm so she knew to kneel with him in front of the Alpha trio. Michelle, do you swear fealty to Pacific and its wolves?
I do.
And then her magick rose, swirled around and seemed to mix with theirs. Knitting, in a sense, her essence to the energy of the pack.
Josh looked over at her with a smile. She felt his pleasure through the link. His happiness and love.
Nick helped her up and turned her to face the group. Welcome, Michelle, to Pacific and best wishes on your bond to Josh.
More raised glasses and cheers as people came forward to introduce themselves, kiss her cheek or rub their faces along her jaw.
Its a gesture of affection and respect, Akio murmured, as he appeared at her side, explaining the cheek-rubbing thing.
Ah, gotcha. Thanks.
He inclined his head.
After what seemed like forever with the cheek rubs and the kisses and welcomes, they headed into a huge dining room where a buffet dinner had been laid out. They filled plates and milled around until Gina approached them.
She pointed to a couch in a far corner where Damon sat. We saved you guys a place.
They all followed her over and put their drinks down on the nearby coffee table. Josh grinned at Damon. Its out of the way of traffic but near enough to the food.
Akio was already sitting with them, and Jack came over and sat next to Akio as they all chatted about Enforcer-type stuff. Michelle had expected to feel excluded or bored, but the stuff they talked about was a lot like cop work and she found herself offering suggestions and asking questions.
Feeling like she could belong after all.
She and Gina had escaped outside to stand on the huge back deck watching a large group of kids play with Milton, Tracys ridiculously sweet and goofy lab. He looked as if he might just pass out with the joy of all the giggles and pets he was getting.
Theyd chatted about every day things, about the next get-together with the Owen witches in Portland and how it would now be a welcome dinner for Michelle. Gina helped her understand the current politics within Clan Owen, the clash of old world and the rules which had kept witches safe for the last century or so, and the decidedly more modern views held by Meriel Owen, who wanted to come out to the humans before something bad happened and they were outed anyway.
Michelle tended to agree with Meriels perspective.
She appreciated all Ginas help and advice, and it was nice to have the beginnings of a new friendship as well. She had a lot to learn. A lot to understand, and people seemed to be going out of their way to help her. It made things better. A little less confusing.
They talked about the threat the mages posed. Gina filled her in on how a group of them had worked with Dominic Brights mother, who was a turned witch. Theyd ambushed Dominic, who was Meriels husband, and led the Owen Clan at her side, and had tried to kill and drain them. It had been the start of all this madness with missing witches and had been getting increasingly worse.
They had no answers. Michelle had spoken with Lark earlier about finding Allie. They suspected a very bad something was at work, but there were so many unanswered questions and the unsettled nature of it left Michelle uneasy.
Sometimes cases just went unsolved. She knew that. But this was more than a usual case. Others would keep on disappearing until they figured it out. Allie had been a casualty, but there were others who needed to be avenged and shed do all she could to help that happen.
Josh came out as Gina went in. He kissed Michelles temple and she leaned into him. You all right, beautiful?
Yes. Its been a lovely evening. I just needed the air and some quiet. It had gotten louder and louder inside until shed had to escape it out there in the dark.
He laughed quietly. Wolves can be a raucous bunch. I cant tell you how many people have stopped to tell me how much they enjoyed meeting you tonight. Youre making friends right and left.
Even Esme.
He cringed, and she laughed, poking his side. She was nice. Apologized for the situation the other day at Tracys house. Its fine. She knows youre mine, and as long as it stays that way, things are great. Id hate to have to kill her.
He squeezed her to his side. It only makes me hot when you talk that way.
Youre weird.
I am. Listen, so about the anchor thingI dont want to rush you, but time is getting short. The longer you go without one, the harder it will be for you to manage everything. All the stuff between us, all the emotion traveling through the link is incredibly intense and it can swamp you, make it hard to think and get through. Your anchor will settle down the background noise.
She sighed. It wasnt Joshs fault. He was up front with her. She did this knowing she had to deal with everything that came with the bond, the good and the bad and the plain old weird. So my choices were the people I met tonight?
Yes.
What do you think?
Its more what you think. I know each of them would be honored to serve as your anchor, but this is someone youre going to be connected to for the rest of your life. Its your choice to make.