Was it wrong that my heart did some more flopping around inside my chest?
I examined the boulder he was sitting on, saw how hed climbed it, and joined him. I
didnt ask if it was okay first, either. I knew it was okay from his smile.
The smile that was making my heart sort of hurt. But in a good way.
My run was okay, I said, sitting down next to him. But not too close, you know,
because I figured I smelled a bit gamy from my run. Not to mention the fact that Id
sprayed myself with about a pound and a half of DEET before Id left the house, since
East Coast mosquitoes seem to love me very much. And DEET isnt exactly theeau
damour , if you know what I mean.
Will didnt appear to notice, though.
Listen, he said, holding up a single hand as a signal for me not to talk.
I listened. For a minute I thought he wanted me to be quiet so he could say something.
Like, you know, how much he loved me. Even though hed only seen me a few times.
And had dinner with me once.
Hey, stranger things have happened. All Tommy Meadows and I had had in common was
a deep appreciation forSpider-Man comic books.
But it turned out Will didnt want me to be quiet so he could declare his love for me. He
actually wanted me to listen.
So I did. All I could hear, besides the babbling of the water, was the chirping of birds and
the hum of cicadas in the trees. No cars. No planes. You couldnt even hear the shrieks of
encouragement I knew the parents of the lacrosse players and T-ballers had to be letting
out. It was like we were in a different world, a sun-dappled oasis away from it all.
Though, really, we were only two or three hundred yards away from the Dairy Queen off
the highway.
After a minute of this, feeling stupid, I said, Uh, Will? I dont hear anything.
He glanced my way with the tiniest of smiles.
I know, he said. Isnt it great? This is one of the few places around here that people
have left alone. You know? No power lines. No Gap. No Starbucks.
He had, I noticed, eyes that were the same color blue as my pool, when I got the chlorine
and pH balance exactly right. Except that my pool is only eight feet at the deepest end,
and Wills eyes seemed fathomless
Its pretty, I said, about the ravine, looking away from him. Because it isnt a good idea
to think about how blue some guys eyes are, if hes already taken, the way Will is.
You think so? Will said, looking around the ravine. Clearly, he hadnt ever thought of it
that way before. As pretty, I mean. I suppose. Mostly
he hadnt been sitting there enjoying the quiet.
Except
So what were you listening to? I asked, picking up the iPod hed turned off and laid
aside as Id joined him on top of his boulder.
Uh, he said, looking faintly worried as I clicked it back on. Nothing, really.
like if I dove into them, Id never get to the bottom.
its quiet.
Come on, I said teasingly. Ive got Eminem in mine. Yours cant be that bad
Except that it was. Because it turned out to be a collection of troubadour love ballads.
From medieval times.
Oh my God, I couldnt help blurting out in horror, as I stared down at the words
scrolling across the screen.
Then immediately wished I could die.
But, instead of being offended, Will just laughed. Really laughed. Like threw back his
head and laughed.
Im sorry, I said, mortified. I didnt meanIts okay. I mean, lots of people like
classical
But when he finally caught his breath, instead of telling me where to get off for being so
horrified by his musical taste, he said, shaking his head, Oh, God. If you could have
seen your face. I bet thats exactly how you looked when you opened up that filter basket
and found that snake
Feeling a little irritatedmainly because his laughter reminded me of Nancys warning,
about being too funny around guysI said, Sorry. You just didnt strike me as the type to
sit by yourself in the woods listening toI looked down at the iPod screenCourtiers,
Kings, and Troubadours.
Yeah, well, Will said, growing suddenly sober and reaching out to gently tug his iPod
from my hands, I never thought I was, either.
As he said it, I saw the shadow Id noticed that day at my pool pass across his face again.
And I knew Id said exactly the wrong thing.
But since I wasnt sure what the right thing to say wasexcept that I was pretty certain he
wouldnt appreciate my speech about how everyone in the Middle Ages had lice and bad
teethI just kind of sat there.
Besides, I had a good idea that whatever lecturing there was to do on the subject of Will
sitting in the woods listening to medieval music, Lance and Jennifer had already covered
that day I saw them in the arboretum with him.
Still, I got the feeling that Wills gloomy expression didnt have a lot to do with having
been busted listening to lame music. I mean, I have been known upon occasion to crack
out my dads Bee Gees collection when I was feeling completely nihilistic or whatever.
But no amount of teasing on the part of my brother Geoff had ever made me look as
well, hopeless as Will did just then.
stuff.
.
Which made me realize: Will shutting down like that wasnt about my having caught him
listening to lame music. It was about something much, much worse.
Wondering what it could beand hoping it wouldnt be something that might end up
making it difficult for him to take me to the prom, if he and Jennifer broke up or
whateverI took a deep breath and plunged. Look. This isnt any of my business. But are
you okay? I asked him.
The shadow had disappeared from his face by then. He seemed surprised by the question.
Yeah, he said. Why?
Uh. Let me see. I ticked off the points on my fingers. Senior class president.
Quarterback of the football team. Valedictorian?
Probably. He grinned. My heart lurched again.
Valedictorian, I added to my list. Going out with the prettiest, most popular girl in
school. Likes to sit by himself in the woods listening to medieval love ballads. You see
the whole one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-other part?
His grin grew broader.
You dont beat around the bush much, do you? he asked, his blue eyes twinkling in a
manner that I couldnt help feeling was very bad for my well-being. Is that a Minnesota
thing, or just an Elle Harrison thing?
I dont know how I replied. I know I must have said something, but I dont have any idea
what it might have been. What did it matter, anyway? Hed said it again. Elle.Elle.
I felt reassured by his flippant response to my question. No, he hadnt really answered it.
But if he could joke around, he obviously wasnt thinking about ending it all, or whatever.
Maybe that look on his face hadnt meant anything. Maybe he was just a guy who liked
sitting alone, listening to medieval music. Maybe he didnt have a pool, and so thats
what he had to do to float
And here I came along, totally busting in where I wasnt needed. Or wanted.
Feeling stupid, I tried to extract myself as quickly as possible from the situation.
Okay, I said, starting to get up. Well, see you around.
But I was stopped by a strong set of fingers that wrapped around my wrist.
Wait a sec. Will looked up at me curiously. Where are you going?
you know, mentally.
Um, I said, trying to be casual about the fact that he was touching me. He was touching
me. No boyother than my brother and Tommy Meadows, who asked me to couples-skate
during a class trip to Western Skatelandhad ever touched me before. Home.
Whats the rush? he wanted to know.
Uh, I said. Maybe I hadnt heard him right. Did he actually want me to stick around?
No rush. I just figured you wanted to be alone. And my dads expecting me to call. For a
ride home.
Ill give you a ride home, Will said, climbing to his feet, and pulling me up with him
so unexpectedly that I sort of started to lose my balance, and wobbled a little on top of
the boulder
Until Will put out his other hand, grabbing me by the waist to steady me.
We stood that way for a heartbeat or two, his hand around my waist, the other holding
my wrist, our faces just inches apart.
If someone had seen us, theyd probably thought we were dancing. Two crazy teenagers,
dancing on top of a boulder.
I wonder if theyd have suspected that one of the teenagersnamely, mewanted to stay
in this position forever, memorize every line of that face so close to mine, reach out and
stroke that soft dark hair, kiss those lips that were hovering just inches above mine. Was
Will thinking the same things? I couldnt tell, and I was looking right into those
fathomless blue eyes. I thought I felt somethingsomething indescribablepass between
us.
But I must have been wrong, because a second later, Will was saying, You all right,
there, now? and letting go of my waist and hand.
Sure, I said, laughing nervously. Sorry.
Except that I wasnt sorry. Especially since both places hed touched me were tingling,
like theyd been scorched
We started to climb from the ravine, Will leading the way, politely holding back
brambles and giving me a hand up the steeper parts, which were hard to climb in my
running shoes. If he noticed how, every time his fingers met mine, sparks seemed to shoot
up my arm, he didnt let on. Instead, he talked about my parents.
Yeah. My parents.
You three are funny together, was what Will said.
.
only in a good way.
We are?
This was news to me. I mean, I know my dadlooks funny, with his Dork Strap and all.
But he hadnt even been wearing that when Will came over. And my moms not
particularly humorous-looking. Shes actually pretty attractive. Until she opens her mouth
about broad clear brows and all of that.
Yeah, Will said. The way they teased you about keeping the pool filters so clean. And
the way you razzed them back about the snake. That was funny. I could never joke
around with my dad like that. All he ever wants to talk to me about is where Im going to
go to school next year.
Oh, I said, relieved we were off the subject of my parents. Thats right. Youre
graduating in the spring.
Yeah. And my dad wants me to go to the Academy.
Which was the local shorthand, Id learned, for the Naval Academy. Only nobody ever
calls it by its full name around here. Its just the Academy.
I wondered what it would be like to have a dad who was in the military, and, you know,
organized. I bet Wills dad would never make him a sack lunch that included potato salad.
On the other hand, I bet Wills dad wouldnt have just ignored the air hose warning on
the inflatable rafts.
Well, I said, wondering how Will would look in one of those white uniforms I saw the
middies wearing around town. Pretty good, I guessed. Really good, actually. Its an
excellent school. One of the hardest to get into in the country, and all.
I know, Will said, with a shrug, as he held back a particularly thorny branch for me to
pass under. And Ive got the grades and test scores and everything. But Im not so sure I
want to go into the military, you know? Visit new places. Meet new people. And kill
them.
Well, I said, again. Yeah. I could see how that could suck. Did you, um, mention that?
To your dad?
Oh yeah.
And? I asked, when Will didnt say anything else. Howd he take it?
Will gave another shrug. He pretty much freaked.
Oh, I said. I thought about my own dad. He and Mom were always telling Geoff and
me to become professors because professors get summers off and only have to teach a
course or two a semester.
But I would rather eat glass than have to write academic papers all the time like Mom
and Dad do. And I tell them so, regularly.
But they dont freak when I say it.
Well, I said. What do you want to do instead?
I dont know, Will said. My dad says Wagner men have always been in the
militaryhe raised his hands and made quotation marks in the air as he added
sarcasticallymaking a difference in the world. Then he dropped his hands. And I
want to make a difference in the world. I really do. But I dont want to do it by blowing
people up.
I thought about the little scene Id witnessed in the hallway that day at school, and the
way Will had handled Rick. It seemed to me like he was already making a difference in
the world.
I can understand that, I said.
Sorry, Will said with a sudden laugh, running one of his hands through his dark hair. I
shouldnt complain. My dad wants me to go to one of the best schools in the country,
which hes completely willing to pay for and which I shouldnt have any trouble getting
into. Everyone should have my problems, right?
Well, I said. It kind of is a problem, if the only school your dads willing to pay for is
the one you dont want to go to
military. Because shooting off guns and stuff seems like a big part of being at the
Academy. At least judging by all the noise I hear from the gunnery every day.
Yeah, Will said. Wed reached the footpath by then. A lady walking a Jack Russell
terrier hurried past us, clearly freaked by the fact that we had been in the woods, since
she refused to look at either of us as she passed by in her pink jogging suit.
I glanced at Will to see if hed noticed, and saw him grinning.
Probably thinks we were in there making a sacrifice to Satan, he said, when the lady
had power-walked out of hearing distance.
And her dogs our next victim, I agreed.
Will laughed. We emerged from the woods, and headed toward the parking lot and Wills
car. After the darkness of the forest, the last rays of the setting sun seemed especially
bright. They seemed to be setting the baseball diamond on fire. There was a hint of
. Especially, you know, if you dont want to be in the
smoke in the air, from someones barbecue. Crickets, just getting started on their evening
serenade, trilled.
Listen, Will said, breaking the companionable silence into which wed fallen. What
are you doing Saturday night?
Saturday? I blinked at him. It was true those crickets were loud. But I didnt think they
were loud enough for me to have mistaken the question.
Because it had sounded
out.
Im having a party, he went on.
Or maybe not.
A party? I asked stupidly.
Yeah, he said. Saturday night. After the game. I must have looked blank, since he
smiled and added, The football game? Avalon against Broadneck? Youre going, arent
you?
Oh, I said. I had never been to a football game in my life. You know that eating glass
thing? Yeah, Id much rather do that than watch a football game.
Unless, of course, A. William Wagner happened to be playing in it.
Sure, Im going, I said, wondering frantically what one wears to a football game.
Great. Anyway, Im having a party afterwards, he said. At my house. A back-to-
school thing. Can you come?
I stared at him. Id never been invited to a party before. Well, not by a boy, anyway.
Nancy used to have parties, but no one ever came to them except our other friends, who
were all girls. Sometimes at my old school a guy on the mens track team would have a
party and invite everyone on the womens team. But wed all just end up standing around
while the boys ignored us and hit on whatever cheerleaders had shown up.
I wondered if Wills party would be that kind of party, and if so, why hed bothered
singling me out for an invitation.
Um, I said, trying to think up an excuse why I couldnt go. On the one hand, I
desperately wanted to see where Will lived. I wanted to know everything about him.
On the other hand, I had a pretty good feeling Jennifer Gold would be there. And did I
really want to watch Will with another girl? Not so much.
well, it certainly sounded to me as if Will were about to ask me
Will must have sensed my hesitationsensed it, and misinterpreted itsince he went,
Dont worry, it wont be wild, or anything. My parentsll be there. Come on, youll like it.
Its a pool party. You can bring your raft.
I couldnt help smiling at that.
Or at the friendly fashion in Will elbowed me in the side as he said it.
Oh yes. I was that far gone that even the guys elbow seemed hot.
Okay, I heard myself saying. Ill be there. Um, without my raft, though. It has a
curfew. It has to be home by nine.
He grinned. Then, looking past me, said, Oh, hey. Want some lemonade?
I glanced in the direction he was pointing, and saw that some kidswhose small,
somewhat rundown house sat on the edge of the parks propertyhad set up a folding
table with a large hand-drawn poster hanging from it that saidLEMONAID :25CENTS .
Cmon, Will said. Ill buy you a lemonade.
Whoa, I joked. Big spender.
He was grinning as we approached the table, which someone had gone to great trouble to
decorate with a checkered tablecloth and a small, half-blown garden rose in a vase, along
with the inevitable plastic pitcher and collection of Dixie cups. The three kids behind the
table, the eldest of whom could only have been nine, perked up at the sight of customers.
Wanna buy some lemonade? they chorused.
Is it any good? Will teased the kids. Im not spending a whole quarter on it if it isnt
the best lemonade in town.
It is! the kids shrieked. Its the best! We made it ourselves!
I dont know, Will said, feigning skepticism. He looked at me. What do you think?
I shrugged. Might as well try it.
Try it, try it, cried the kids. The oldest one said, assuming authority over the situation,
Look, well give you a taste, and if you like it, you can buy a cup.
Will appeared to think about this. Then he said, Okay, deal.
The oldest kid poured a small amount of lemonade into a cup, then handed it to Will,
who made a big deal out of smelling it first, then swishing it around in his mouth the way
wine tasters do.
The kids ate it up. They were giggling, loving every minute of the show.
As, I have to admit, was I. Well, how could I not?
Nice bouquet, Will said, after hed finally swallowed. Tangy, and not too sweet. A
most excellent year for lemonade, obviously. Well take two cups.
Two cups! the kids cried, scrambling to fill them. Theyll take two cups!
When the cups were filled, Will took one and presented it to me with a flourish.
Why, thank you, I said, curtsying back to him.
My pleasure, he said, and reaching into the back pocket of his jeans, drew out a black
leather wallet, from which he pulled a five-dollar bill.
And you three, he said to the kids, placing the bill on the table, can keep the change,
if youll give me that rose there.
The kids stared, goggle-eyed, at the five. The oldest one recovered herself most quickly,
and plucked the rose from the vase and thrust it at him.
Here, she said. Take it.
Will did so, with a polite Thank you. Then he picked up his cup of lemonade, and
turned to go, while behind him, the kids tried to smother their delighted giggles and cries
of Five dollars! Thats moren weve madeall day !
Grinning, I fell into step beside Will as we headed toward his car. You know theyre just
going to spend that money on candy thatll rot their teeth, I informed him.
I know, he said, looking straight ahead, even as he did what he did next. Which was to
hand me the rose. For you.
I looked down at the roseso tiny and pink and perfectin astonishment.
Oh, I said, suddenly consumed with embarrassment. I couldnt. I mean
He turned his head to look at me then, and I saw laughter on his lips.
But not, strangely, in his eyes. His gaze was strong and steady on mine, the way his
voice had been earlier that day, when hed spoken to Rick. It was clear the time for joking
around was done.
Elle, he said. Just take it.
I took it.
It was the first flower any boy had ever given me.
Which was why, even after he dropped me off at home and drove away, it was hours
before my heart started to beat anything like normally again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces thro the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She lookd down to Camelot.
As I studied up on old Arthur for my World Lit project that eveningwhich wasnt easy,
considering that Id put Wills rose in a vase by my bed, and my gaze kept straying over
to it every two minutes or soI found out a few surprising things. Such as the stuff from
the musicalCamelot which my mom loves, and has made me listen to ten thousand
timeslike how King Arthur performed all of these heroic feats, basically bringing his
people out of the Dark Ages and defending them against the Saxons and stuff? And how
he had this arranged marriage with this princess named Guinevere, and how she
eventually ditched him for his favorite knight, Lancelot (who, in turn, ditched Elaine of
Astolat, the Lady of Shalott, for Guinevere, causing Elaine to become the subject of my
moms new book)?
That stuff probably really happened.
Except that Lancelot didnt end up killing Arthur over Guinevere: Arthurs half brother
(or son, according to some translations), Mordred, took care of that. See, Mordred was all
jealous of Arthurs accomplishments, and of him being such a beloved king and all, so he
plotted to kill him and take over the throneeven marrying Queen Guinevere himself at
some point, according to a few sources
The Pendragons were way dysfunctional as far as families go. Jerry Springer would
haveloved them.
Wild horses wouldnt have gotten me to admit this in front of my parents, but the whole
Arthur thingwas kind of cool. The reason thereve been so many movies and books and
poems and musicals written about King Arthurnot to mention high schools like Avalon
named after the mythical island he eventually went to die onis that his story is a good
illustration of the heroic theory of history: that an individualnot an army; not a god; not
a superhero; just a regular Joecan permanently alter the course of world events.
.
Which is why, according to another one of my moms books, theres this whole societyI
am not making this upof people who think that Arthur, whose body was sent to the now
nonexistent island of Avalon by the Lady of the Lake, is actually asleep, not dead, and is
destined to wake again only when he is most needed.
Seriously. This band of losers calls itself the Order of the Bear, the Bear having been
King Arthurs nickname. They think that Arthurs going to wake up one day and lead the
modern-day world out of the Dark Ages and into a new age of enlightenment, just like he
did fifteen hundred years ago. The only thing keeping him from waking, according to the
members of the Order of the Bear, are the forces of darkness.
Um. Okay.
I tried not to let my skepticism about the existence of forces of darkness show in the
outline I wrote for our report for Mr. Mortons class, though.
And I definitely didnt mention to my parents that I was doing a project on King Arthur.
Because I knew that in their enthusiasm for the subject matter, theyd start chucking
source materials at me until I ran screaming from the house. Some things parents are just
better off not knowing.
Like the track thing. I never bothered mentioning to them that I was worried about
making it onto the Avalon High School womens track team. I was glad I hadnt, too,
when it turned out rumors about the speed of certain freshwomen proved to be greatly
exaggerated. I made it onto the team at tryouts the next day with ease.
Liz was psyched, and high-fived me when the coach read off my name. Although later,
while we were waiting for Stacy, another girl on the team who turned out to live nearby
and had promised to give us a ride home, Liz warned me about the initiation.
Its just this stupid thing Cathy thought up, she said. Cathy was apparently the team
captain, whom Id met only briefly. Theyll come in the middle of the nightwell, really
about tenand kidnap you, and take you to Storm Brothers and make you eat a Moose
Tracks sundae.
Since this sounded like the kind of initiation I might enjoyno cat food or raw animal
parts involvedI wasnt too alarmed.
But then Liz said theyd probably do it on Saturday.
Thats a problem, I said. Im going to Will Wagners pool party after the Broadneck
game.
Liz just stared at me.
YOU got invited to Will Wagners pool party? She sounded completely stunned.
Stunned enough that I immediately felt uncomfortable about the whole thing.
Well, I said, yeah. I mean, he invited me.
When? Liz asked, still sounding stunned.
Yesterday, I said. I ran into him running in Anne Arundel Park. Well, I was running.
He was sitting
on that rock? Liz shook her head. Oh my God. Id heard the rumors, of course. But I
didnt think they were true.
I glanced at her. What rumors?
You know, Liz said. About him cracking up.
Will? I asked, startled. Why do people think hes cracking up?
Because hes been going and sitting on that rock in that ravine in that stupid park all
summer, Liz said. Hes even skipped football practice twice to do it this week. I heard
he says he likes to go there to think. Think! Who even does that?
I knew right then that Liz would never understand about the floating thing.
But anyway, she went on. Some people are saying
What? I asked more sharply than I meant to.
Well, some people say he goes there to get away from his dad.
His dad? I feigned ignorance, not wanting to let on that Will had already confided in
me about this.
Yeah. On account of what he did.
I stared at Liz, totally confused. What his dad did? What was she talking about? Wills
dad hadnt done anything. Anything except try to force Will to go to the Naval Academy.
But he hadnt succeeded in doing that. Yet. What did his dad do?
Killed his best friend, Liz said matter-of-factly. Some guy Wills dad has known since
basic training, or something. Admiral Wagner transferred him to a combat post overseas a