I will not punish him, she shouted, proud of her strength and conviction. Paris had done all those things, yes. And no, there was no excusing him. Though hed been influenced by the evil creature inside him, he was responsible for his own decisions. He could have found another way.
But who was she to condemn anyone? Had she yet found another way? No.
Wrath offered no argument, and she frowned. That was unlike him. Usually he threw fits until she caved. But then, perhaps Aeron, Wraths former keeper, had already fought and won this particular crusade. After all, Aeron and Paris had lived together for centuries, plenty of time for the demon to have either gotten a taste of what he desired or to have been berated into submission.
If ever she met Aeronand if he could actually see her and didnt try to kill hershe would ask. She would do anything to return Wrath to him, too, despite the fact that such an action would kill her.
Sienna. Warmth drifted over her cheek, sliding along the line of her jaw.
Her nerve endings perked up, firing back to life, making her skin tingle.
Wake up for me. Come on, thats it, thats the way.
Yes. That voicesexual and primal, blatant in its masculinitya summoning finger she must follow. Where the voice originated, pleasure awaited her. So much pleasure.
She blinked open her eyes. Things were hazy at first, but the more she blinked, the better she could see. She was inside one of the second-floor bedrooms of the castle. The air was musty and yet chocolaty andParis loomed above her, peering down at her.
Breath snagged in her throat. He was just so beautiful, his face flawlessly chiseled. He could seduce anyone, anywhere. His hair was the richest shade of black, the purest shade of brown, with lighter strands woven throughout like ribbons of gold. His eyes were a wanton crystal, his lashes so thick and black they weighed down his lids, keeping them at half-mast, forever come-to-bed tempting. His lips were lush and red, and perhaps the most decadent part of an already decadent man. His skin was like crushed diamonds mixed with honey and cream. Pale, yet kissed with shimmers of the sun.
He bore a few scratches and had shadows under his eyes, but neither acted as an imperfection. They simply enhanced his appeal, adding depth. Lover, warriorprotector of those of his choosing. And he was here. With her.
How are you feeling? he asked, the words scratchy now, as if there were glass shards stuck in his throat.
Was that a note of concern she detected? If so, this must be a hallucination. Paris wouldnt care for her well-being. Not after everything that had happened between them. With a shaky hand, she reached up and pressed her fingertips into the rose tinting his cheeks. Solid, warm. Real.
She gasped out a startled, You really are here.
Yes. I Yes. His pupils expanded, concealing all the blue with a spiderweb of black, before snapping back into place. How are you feeling?
Fine. There was a slight twinge in her stomach, a definite ache in her wings, but nothing that was unmanageable. A perk of being undead as well as Wraths host, she supposed. No matter the severity of her injuries, death had no hold on her and she healed quickly.
I cleaned you up, bandaged the worst of your wounds. Guilt layered his tone, a deeper flush blooming across his cheeks. Those pupils expanded again, staying that waynope, they snapped back.
Shed never seen eyes do that. Thank you. She moved her hand to her hair, grimaced when she encountered tangles. She must look like total crap. And you? How are you? Her question trembled with the same intensity as her hand.
Fine, he parroted, offering no more than she had.
He straightened, increasing the distance between them, though his hip remained pressed against hers. One of his arms slid forward and stopped beside her rib cage, taking the brunt of his weight.
They stayed like that for a long while, silent, looking at each other, then looking away.
This wasawkward. Really, really awkward. They hadnt seen each other in so long, and the last time they had, well, things had not ended well. No one but yourself to blame, she thought sadly.
A lot has happened since we were last together, he began, then lapsed into silence as if contemplating all that had occurred.
Yes, she agreed, though she had spent too much time contemplating it already.
I know you were given a demon. What I dont know is how youre handling him, he said, staring somewhere far, far beyond her shoulder.
We have our moments.
He shows you the sins of others?
Yes.
And forces you to punish the wrongdoers?
Yes.
He nodded. Aeron, the guy who had Wrath before you, used to hate that. He would resist for as long as he could.
And then Wrath would overtake him, she grumbled.
Yeah.
I have the same problem. Usually she saw the images of a persons sins while she was awake, and things would progress from there. She would fight the urges and win, or she would fight the urges and fail. She wasnt sure what to make of the fact that shed seen Pariss transgressions while she was asleep.
Another bout of uncomfortable silence ensued. There was so much to say, but she didnt know where to begin.
Paris, she breathed at the same time he sighed and said, Sienna.
They stared at each other now, searching, unsure. Annnd once again silence reigned, so heavy she could feel the weight of it pressing her deeper into the mattress. Her heart careened against her chest in a useless attempt at escape. If the damn thing had been hooked to a battery, she would have pulled the plug. Anything for relief from this suspended, anxious sensation, fear of sending Paris fleeing preventing her from saying all the things shed imagined saying to him.
You go first, he said, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
Very well. She could do this. She could. I just wondered how you got here and why youwhy you came for me. And he had definitely come for her, and her alone. Why else would he have shouted her name like that? Did he hope to punish her for what shed once done to him?
His eyes narrowed. I changed my mind. Ill go first. Tell me why you came to me, that night in Texas when William saw you at my feet. William being my homely friend. Through those slitted lids, she saw that his irises had frosted over, the darkness still evident. His expression became granite-hard, ruthless determination cloaking him.
The man who sat before her now was not the one whod fought the Gargl to reach her; he was not the one whod taken such care with her wounds. And he had cared for her wounds. Shed been cleaned, bandaged, just as hed said.
No, the man who sat before her was the one shed first met in Rome. The one who had kissed her one minute and woken up strapped to a torture table the next. The one who had cursed her with one breath, and praised her with the following.
Whoever he was, she wouldnt lie to him. She would never lie to him again. I needed help, she admitted, and Wrath knew where you were, how to reach you. He had taken over, and I came to there at your feet.
Do you still need help?
With Wrath? Yes.
He nodded, losing that knife edge of ruthlessness. Im sorry I couldnt see you that night.
You have nothing to apologize for.
Anyway, he said after clearing his throat. I figured you would have trouble adapting, though youre doing far better than I did at this stage, so I asked Aeron if he had any tips for you. He said youll have an easy time of things if you feed the bastard a little bit every day. Someone lies to you, you lie back. Someone cheats you, you cheat them back. Someone hits you, you hit back.
How willingly he offered the information. He didnt make her beg. Didnt taunt her because he knew and she didnt. And Aeron hadnt withheld the information, when he had to hate her for taking his companionand they had been companions. Wrath had been an extension of him, still missed him to this day. But as grateful as she was for the advicewhat a terrible way to live, she thought. Thank you for that.
Welcome, he said stiffly. Then, Do you still think Im evil and in need of snuffing out?
No! Youre not evil. That she had ever placed the man in the same category as the demon She was so very ashamed. How foolish shed been. How gullible. Im sorry that I ever thought you were.
The visual perusal he next gave her peeled away her clothing, leaving her bare, trembling. And I should believe you?
He would never trust her, but then, why should he? Being paired with Wrath, well, my eyes were opened. I saw the truth for the first time. The things I didthe things Im urged to doyouve been dealing with that for thousands of years, and still you fight. Doubt me all you want, but I vow to you now. To stop herself from reaching out to him, she fisted her hands at her sides. I will never hurt you again.
In his hooded eyes she saw flecks of anger, a blaze of arousal. Then, nothing.
He looked away from her, gaze landing on the rooms only window. There was a crack in the thick, black curtains, a single ray of moonlight slipping inside. Then he offered a shrug of one strong shoulder. You asked why I came for you.
Disappointment rocked her. A response to her vow would have been nice. But then, she didnt deserve it. Yes.
I Damn it. I couldnt let you suffer.
He couldntlet hersufferoh Here was a mercy she was no longer capable of offering to others, so she knew how precious it was. Tears sprang to her eyes and tracked down her cheeks, a trickle at first, then a flood. Until her body was heaving with the same force as the women in that dream hallway. Until she couldnt see the bedroom or Paris.
What happened to growing a pair of lady balls? Breaking down now, in front of him, was humiliating, but she couldnt stop.
Her shame exploded, little pieces tossed into every corner of her body, saturating her. All her life, shed only ever been able to rely on herself. Her moms alcoholism, which had started right after Skyes abduction, had eaten away at any love the woman had felt for Sienna. Her dad had eventually taken off and started another family, forgetting the little girl hed left behind.
Then in college, shed begun dating Hugh. Hed listened to her stories about her past, offered sympathy and aid. Hed told her about himself, and his belief in the supernatural. When she expressed doubt, he promised to show herand he had. Shed been scared yet thrilled at the same time, because then shed had someone to blame for every single one of her troubles.
How freeing that had been. How marvelous to realize that her mother wasnt at fault. Her father wasnt at fault. She wasnt at fault. How soothing to think her parents would have loved her still if not for the evil the Lords had brought into the world. So, yeah, shed jumped headfirst into the good-versus-evil game.
And yet, the Hunters had gunned her down to get to Paris.
Paris, who hadnt wanted her to suffer.
Her sobs emerged so powerfully, she was soon hiccupping, eyes and nose running freely, and that sent her embarrassment to a new level. Stalwart arms wrapped around her, careful not to brush against her fragile wings, lifting her, drawing her into a hot, muscled chest. His heartbeat hammered as swiftly as hers.
And wouldnt you know, that made her cry even harder.
Calm down, he commanded, clearly uncomfortable. And wow. You would think a man whod been with as many women as Paris had would know how to finesse one who was nearing hysteria, but no. He patted her back a little too roughly, then glared down at her when she failed to obey him.
How could he not want her to suffer? How could she ever have judged him so harshly?
Sienna. Stop this.
Canthelpit. Did suchterrible things toyou. And youyoure here. And youre being so nice.
A pause, as if he couldnt quite digest her words. Then, very gently, he said, But I did terrible things to you, too. Didnt I?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SIENNA TOLD HERSELF TO SHUT UP, to lock down tight, but the words poured out of her of their own accord. You were going to have sex with me and walk away. Not the most chivalrous behavior, but that hardly justifies being drugged, tortured and nearly killed. I tricked you, let them hurt you. And then I raped you. I think I raped you. She choked, but still the words kept coming. Im sorry, Paris. Im so sorry. I know thats not good enough. Nothing I say will ever be good enough, but
Sienna.
Im sorry. I am. And afterward, when I was dying, I blamed you, but it wasnt your fault. I told you I hated you, and Im so very sorry for that, too. You didnt deserve any of it.
Another pause. His hands began to move down her back, caressing now, before sliding back up again, soothing her. You didnt rape me, he said, and there was a surprising tinge of amusement in his tone. I wanted you. I wanted you so damn badly, even though I didnt want to want you. Or maybe shed imagined the amusement. His timbre was now an abrasive rasp.
I slept with you because I was told to, because I wanted to destroy you, she said.
I slept with you to strengthen myself.
But I still wanted you, she added in a soft whisper.
His fingertips pressed into the muscles just under the rise of her wings, but the pressure eased all too soon. And I still wanted you. Thats one of the reasons I took you with me when I got free, because I wanted to be with you again.
Another sob left her. I thought you used me as a shield, and II Well, crap. The sobs became so great her voice box finally closed up.
He pressed a kiss into her temple. I didnt use you as a shield. Not intentionally, at least. Im sorry for how things ended, so very, very sorry. If it helps, Ive punished myself a thousand times, will probably punish myself a thousand more. Had I known what would happen, I would have left you thereand come back for you later.
The last was offered hesitantly, as if he feared her reaction to such a truth. Im glad.
An eternity passed just like that, the two of them clutching at each other, the silence no longer prickly but calming. And, okay. Maybe she was the only one doing the clutching, but he didnt seem to mind. He continued to caress her.
She hadnt realized how much shed craved contact with another body until just that moment. That the body belonged to Paris, well, that made it even better. He was so strong, and smelled so sweet, and if she wasnt careful, she would soon be rubbing her cheek against his chest, burying her nose in the hollow of his neck and twining herself around him like a vine.
When at last she quieted, exhaustion set in and she just kind of sagged against him, her head resting on his shoulder. Her eyes were swollen, heavy, her nose stuffed up, and her throat raw from her tears.
Better? he asked.
Yes, thank you. II Paris. Her lips parted, and she inhaled through her mouth. Despite everything, you came here to help me. You put yourself in danger.
Danger is nothing to me. His voice had become gruff, as if he disliked the direction the conversation had gone in.
Danger might be nothing to him, but shed seen him with his friends. They were everything to him, and still hed left them to save her. A surrealand even more shamingrealization.
What did his unwillingness to let her suffer mean? Did he, dare she hope, have feelings for her? Crave something more with her? Though she wasnt ready to release him, she did just that, pulling back, taking another deep breath and drawing in the dark-chocolate scent of him. If the movement hadnt disrupted the angle of her wings, lancing a sharp pain through her, she would have sat there, savoring him, drowning in a sudden burst of arousal, for hours.
Frowning, Paris maneuvered the gossamer extensions of her wings into a more comfortable position. He was infinitely careful, his every motion checked. When he finished, he eyed her warily. Better? he asked again.
He had to have feelings for her. Impossible, and yet, possible all the same. Yes, thank you. She looked down at her hands. They were wringing her shirt, twisting and wrinkling the material, yet she hadnt realized shed moved them. She should ask him about his feelings. She should
Why did you walk away from me when you first saw me? he asked, his tone curious rather than accusatory. When the gargoyles had me.
I thought you were a hallucination. A memory. Theyre like film reels, playing around me in a never-ending stream.
His frown deepened, pulling those lush lips tight over perfect white teeth. Even now?
Her gaze darted around the room, and she could only gape. She saw crumbling stone, portraits draped by sheets, but no memories. No. Its just you and me. Probably because they couldnt steal her attention away from Paris. Paris, I want to tell you things. About the Hunters. Things that could help you and your friends. I
No, he said, cutting her off.
But
He gave an abrupt shake of his head. No, he reiterated.
I dont understand.
I dont want you to tell me anything about them.
Butwhy? Even when she had been poised over his helpless body, moving on him, even when he had rightly blamed her for his condition, he had not peered at her with such harsh resolve. Red flickered through his eyes, those shadows once again dancing through his irises.
She didnt have to consider the problem long before the answer slithered into place, a boa ready to suffocate its prey. He thought she would mislead him, send him straight into a trap, and there would be nothing she could say to convince him otherwise. That hurt, but then she deserved that and more.
Not knowing what else to do, she shied away from the topic. How can you see me, hear me? Touch me? You couldnt before.
The red faded, the shadows stilled. His pupils did that expanding, contracting thing, taut rubber bands ready to snap.
I learned a few tricks about the dead, he said. Thats all.
And he wouldnt share those tricks or anything else with her; his tone made that clear. An ache ignited in her heart, dropped into her stomach and guillotined every bit of happiness his presence here had wrought.
Did you also learn how to break a curse and bust someone out of a castle they cant leave? she asked. Good. Back to business. Without another breakdown.
A terrible stillness came over him. I knew you were trapped here, but Im still not sure how.
Do you know where here is? She could guess, but the answers that came to her made her sick.
A hidden kingdom in the Titans section of the heavens.
Her eyes widened. Heavens? Really? I would have bet somewhere in hell.
What happens when you try to leave?
Theres some kind of invisible block. I approach a door or a window and I hurt, and if I remain in front of the portal for too long, I pass out. But sometimessometimes Wrath takes over and the blocks fall away. I end up outside the castles walls, not too far from here, I dont think. And I do things. Terrible things, she whispered. Then I come back here, I cant stop myself. I step inside and the blocks immediately go back up.
He reached out as if he meant to cup her cheek, to offer comfort. Then he growled, low and guttural, and his arm dropped to his side. That made her want to erupt into a fresh round of sobbing, but she didnt allow herself the luxury. Not even when he jerked to a stand, stalked to the window and tossed the curtains aside, the distance a great chasm between themsymbolic.
Dust wafted around him. A few tugs, and he had the pane lifted. Hot, pungent air drifted inside, stinging her nostrils. He palmed a blade, extended his arm into the darknessand met no resistance.
Others could leave, she realized. Only she was trapped.
He slid the glass into place and spun to face her. He didnt return to her side, but leaned back, propping himself against the wall. The bulge of his muscles stretched the black material of his T-shirt. His pants hugged his thighsand an impressive erection.
Could he possiblywant her? The way she wanted him?
Who are you trying to fool? Hes the Lord of Sex. He probably has that reaction with everyone.
Can you let Wrath take over your body without taking over your mind? he asked, a catch in his voice.
She forced herself to meet his eyes as heat flashed in her cheeks. I, uh He takes over both, but Ive never just let him. I dont always win, but I always fight him.
Stop fighting him. Let him take over your body, but try to maintain some kind of tether to your mind.
Her mouth fell open, snapped closed. Just like that, he wanted her to allow the being that thrived on punishing everyone to consume her, to drive her every action? You dont understand what would happen if I did that.
He gave a bitter laugh that did nothing to mar his masculine perfection, and everything to enhance it. Maybe because with the unveiling of his bitterness came a need to kiss him better. Oh, but I do.
Yes, she supposed he must. Wrath hurts people. I hurt people. And what if I hurt you?
Melted steel in his eyes, bubbling from his voice. I can take care of myself, and I want to get you out of here.
I want that, too. Just not enough to risk hurting him. And really, her demon wasnt the onlyor even the worstworry. Her eyes widened. How could she have forgotten, even for a moment? Cronus, she gasped out. If you help me, Cronus will come after you. Im surprised he hasnt already.
Way I hear it, hes been too busy to concern himself with me. Paris grinned, slow and wicked. Eager. But he and I are due a reckoning, and well soon have it.
Her hand fluttered to her throat. Not on my account. I dont want you
Do you have any family? he asked, interrupting her. Anyone I can take you to once I get you out of the heavens?
She blinked. Hed saved her, still felt desire for her if his erection was any indication, but he didnt intend to keep her, or even be with her. He wanted to foist her off as quickly as possible. Of course. Stupid, stupid Sienna for ever hoping otherwise.
They couldnt make anything work between them, anyway. She knew more about his demon now and knew Paris couldnt sleep with her again, despitethat. Right? He was a one-time only joyride. Right?
Sienna, he snapped. Eyes on my face. Please.
The heat in her cheeks rose to scalding as she jerked her gaze away from his man business a second time. Im sorry. I didnt mean to make you feel like a piece of meat. I was just lost in thought.
About my diuh, junk?
Well, yes.
His jaw dropped with the force of his astonishment, and she had to wonder why the god of sex would find such a revelation so unbelievable.
Anyway. What had he asked her before? Oh, yeah. Her family. No. Theres no one who could take me in, no one who could even see me. As she spoke, she looked the rest of him over. He was still cut from the Gargl, the wounds now scabbed. He had healed, but only slightly. And his skin had lost a bit of its glittery sheen. Was he weakening from lack of sex? Thats what had happened in the Hunters prison.
When was the last time you had a woman? she asked, trying to act nonchalant about a very sore subject between them.
The frost shed seen earlier fell over his entire body. His eyelids narrowed, the gleam in those ocean-pretty irises flint hard.
I dont remember, he gritted out.
The confession relieved and thrilled her, she was ashamed to admit. He was clearly hurting. Well, Imuh, Im, you knowavailable. For you. If you can, I mean. And if you, you know, want me and can usethat on me. How pathetic she sounded, but she wanted to touch him again, to be with him one last time. Even if she had to reduce the act to a simple clinical procedure. I owe you. Or a favor between pseudo-friends.
The ice thickened, cracked, thickened again, as if a battle raged inside him. The ice won. Really? Youre available to me? You owe me? He popped his jaw. Thank you for that generous offer. How could a guy like me ever refuse?
A guy like him? I didnt mean
Just so you know, I didnt come all this way to enjoy your availability or to collect on a debt. So, while I can, in fact, screw you again, I hope youll understand when I do the unthinkable and pass. But dont worry, Ill still help you. Screwing me isnt a requirement.
She chewed on her bottom lip to stop herself from responding. Deserved, deserved, deserved, she told herself again. And maybe his refusal was a good thing. He still resented her. And as hed already proven, he didnt trust her. Being with him, and watching him walk away afterward, would slice her into pieces so jagged shed never be able to fit herself back together.
More than that, she had to go after Galen. The thought hit with so much force her entire body shook. She had toyed with the idea, but hadnt decided officially. Now, she saw the truth. Shed told Paris she had no family, but what if she did? And what if only she could save them? If there were the slightest possibility that Galen was torturing her sister and her child, Sienna had to act, which meant she might have todo things with him. Necessary things. Things she wouldnt be able to bring herself to do if she forged any kind of bond with Paris. A white-hot toxin flooded her veins, stinging.
You look disgusted and scared, Paris said, his voice as sharp as any dagger. Why?
Neither emotion is for you, she said quietly. Never for him. Not anymore.
A hard knock sounded at the door, followed by the homely guys rough timbre. Paris. This isnt exactly life and death, my man, but things are quiet in there so I figure you havent quite learned how to undo her bra strap. Give it a rest and come out here. You have to see this.
Paris looked like hed just been granted a reprieve from a firing squad. He straightened. On my way, he called. He stood there for a moment, grinding his molars, thinking about something unpleasant, judging by the expression on his face. Then he stalked to the bed and held out his hand, helping her lumber to her feet.
His calluses abraded her palm in the most delicious way, and she shivered. Thank you.
Whatever. He didnt lead her out, but leveled her with a fierce frown. Dont try to leave my side. Understand?
Was he afraid shed run from him? Afraid shed tell someone where he was so they could kill him?
Deserved, she reminded herself. What really sucked about the whole situation was that she couldnt ask for a second chance with him, or even an opportunity to redeem herself. As shed just realized, they were already doomed, her path already decided.
Another realization struck. That same path could give him what he wanted more than anything. Victory against the Hunters. Not that he would ever know the part shed played. If Cronus had his way, Paris would assume she was Galens mistress. His sexual toy. Andand she would be, at least until she learned the truth about Skye. Then she would kill him, as she wanted, no matter the consequences to herself.
Sienna, Paris snapped, drawing her back to the present.
She peered up at him. No matter how things shook out, she was going to lose him, and that was a hard fact given that shed only just found him again. But for today, she was with him. That would have to be enough. I wont leave your side.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
GALEN, KEEPER OF HOPE, leader of the Hunters, leisurely explored the rooms inside his enemys fortress. Hed only recently healed from battle wounds hed received courtesy of the Lords of the Underworld. Now it was time for payback.
The blade he held was new and had never seen a single moment of action. Today, that would change.
shut that damn thing up, Cameo, keeper of Misery, was saying as she snaked around the corner and stomped past him. Draped as he was by the Cloak of Invisibility, she failed to spot him.
He studied her as she passed. In all the centuries since their creation, she hadnt changed. She had long, dark hair made for fisting, and the slim body of a dancer made for screwing. Her eyes were liquid silverand made for dangling from his necklace. If you dont, I will stab both of you. And let me tell you, one-point-eight people die every second. I never mind adding to the tally.
Maybe she had changed. The low, raspy resonance of her voice carried the heavy burden of a worlds worth of sorrows. Enough to spring an ache in his chest, one that promptly seeped outward, invading more and more of him. In the heavens, her voice had brought only pleasure.