So have you noted my tone or not? Frosty insisted.
Noted.
Thus began the threats that if I told anyone about what had happened, even Kat, Id be bloody toast. Yawn. Id just survived a car ride after a rabbit-sighting. More than that, Frosty was human, not zombie, and hindered by Cole. No way hed really follow through.
You told me this stuff already, you know, I pointed out.
Then let me tell you again. And he did. Three more times, his tone morphing from barely leashed fury to condescension.
When he finished that third round of threats, I said, Why dont you tell me whats really bothering you, huh? One minute you were fine with me, but now you cant stand me.
He tangled a hand through his dark blond hair. I dont know what you did to him. I mean, youre hot, yeah, and you seem nice enough, but he doesnt normally defend the new kid. And those vision things between the two of you are weird. And Im just gonna say it, I dont trust you. Ive learned my lesson about people like you.
By people like me, you better mean wonderful and caring.
Frosty sputtered for a response, before finally settling on After everything Ive thrown at you, thats what you have to say?
I wasnt sure how I felt about the fact that he and Cole shared the same incredulous reaction when dealing with me. Yes.
You are such a chick.
I widened my eyes in mock surprise. No way. Are you sure?
Sighing again, he rubbed at the tattoos on his wrist. Mackenzie was right. You arent slayer material.
Before he had time to register my intentions, I threw a punch. My sore, swollen knuckles slammed into his cheekbone, thrusting his head to the side. Pain shot up my arm, but I bit my tongue to stop a moan.
You were saying?
He popped his jaw, rubbed at the reddening skinand slowly grinned. Okay, so now I understand why Cole likes you. Youre worse than Kat. And dont you dare ask if I think Cole likes you more than Mackenzie, you should know Im not talking about his feelings, her feelings, your feelings, or anything to do with that crap. Got it?
Id already known I was far from normal, but this proved it. As hed spoken, Id skipped from Kat to feelings to crap, and put together a few pieces of the Kat versus Frosty and Trina puzzle. Im guessing you never cheated on Kat. You werewhat? Injured the night you phoned her?
Injured, yes, was his only reply.
Bright rays of sun streamed past the tinted windows, causing his eyes to flash with fire, deepening the brown and burning away the blue. Lines of tension branched from the corners, making me wonder if hed gotten any sleep last night. Probably not. His hair was disheveled from more than just the plow-through, and his clothes were wrinkled, as if hed worn them all night.
I hadnt gotten any sleep, either. Even though Cole had assured me the cabin was watched and guarded, every whistle of wind had rattled me. Id paced in front of the only window in my (private) bedroom, and, of course, Id listened at my door. Not that Id heard anything.
You called Trina immediately after talking to Kat because I prompted.
He gave a low growl. Because Trina had fought the zombies with me that night. She saved my life, and was injured for it. Injured far worse than me. I was checking on her, that was all.
Understanding took root and grew limbs. Frosty was willing to let Kat think the worst of him, was even willing to lose her, though he loved her, just to keep the groups secrets. From this moment on, the same sense of loyalty would be expected from me. Well, last night Kat told me to tell you she hates you. I wasnt lying about that. I didnt say it to hurt him; I said it to hopefully propel him into fixing things with her, somehow, someway.
The muscles in his jaw clenched. When Cole called to tell us what was going on, I had to leave her right in the middle of our get-back-together conversation. She wasnt happy.
An understatement, Im sure. Kat had dressed herself up for him, had danced with him, kissed him. What hed done was the equivalent of leaving a date at the restaurant and expecting her to pick up the tab.
Ill tell her you had to help me and Cole with car troubles. It was the truth, without actually being the truth. The zombies had indeed caused car trouble. Like, wed needed to be in one driving away stat.
Yeah, okay. His shoulders sagged with a measure of relief. You can tell Kat I helped you last night. Thanks.
He wasnt happy with me, wouldnt take back his threats, but he would still let me go to bat for him. Suddenly I was glad I hadnt made any guy friends at my old school. They were more trouble than they were worth. So what happened last night? With thezombies? The word snagged on my tongue. Hearing it in my own voice creeped me out, proving how drastically my world had changed. Cole mentioned that they werent supposed to be on the prowl.
For that matter, how had they known we were at the club? I know they could see us and only us, but wed been inside the building. They couldnt see past brick, could they? Or had their other senses kicked in? Had they smelled us?
And why do we see them? I finished.
Were you like this with Cole, Miss Query? Jeez. He shrugged those big shoulders. He said to answer any questions you had, so fine, I will, but I dont even know where to start.
Try.
Why do we see them? Well, why was Cole born with violet eyes? Why is your hair so pale? Were just born that way.
But I didnt see the zombies until after my dad died.
Sometimes it takes a traumatic event to cause a persons ability to kick in. Others can see into the spiritual realm from birth. Why, we dont know.
How was it for you?
A pause as he gritted his teeth, letting me know he really didnt want to answer. But did he? Yeah. Birth. Bronx is like you, though. His mother was a drug addict and when he was eight she got tired of caring for him and dropped him off on an abandoned road. He had to walk in the cold and the dark, and the fear broke through whatever barrier was there to keep him from seeing the zombies.
The sharpness of my sympathy nearly sliced my heart into pieces. Frosty had had to deal with this madness his entire life, and Bronx had been seeing the monsters since the age of eight, Emmas age, after his mother had washed her hands of him. No wonder both boys looked as hard as nails. No wonder Frosty refused to trust me, and Bronx had never spoken a word to me.
What about Coles parents? Do either of them see the zombies?
Something unreadable flashed in his eyes. His dad.
Sohis dad could seeand my dad had been able to seebut the difference in our upbringings was astonishing. His dad had probably been filled with power, authority. Mine had been filled with fear, defeat.
How did you guys find each other? Zombies arent something you talk about at meeting one.
He ran his tongue over his teeth. Just like the zombies are drawn to us, were drawn to each other. And after what Cole told me about your first morning with him at Asher, you know exactly what Im talking about.
But he also said no one else had experienced anything like that.
Not to that degree, no. Frosty glanced at a wristwatch he wasnt wearing. Wow. Look at the time. I need to go.
Oh, please. But, fine, whatever. Hint taken. Are you going to Reeves party tonight? I asked as I unbuckled.
Maybe. Someone will have to watch Coles back.
Harsh. One last question. I stepped out of the car and into the daylight. Leaning down, smiling sweetly, I said, Do you want me to help Kat find a new boyfriend?
I shut the door, effectively silencing his response.
He peeled out and disappeared down the street. He might have flipped me off.
Happy that Id had the last word, I trekked to my house. To my continued happiness, my grandparents were outside gardening and I made it to my room unnoticed. That meant I could catch a few beauty zs before they grilled me about the sleepover. I wrote them a note, saying Id stayed up all nighttruth!and headed upstairs to nap.
Halfway up, my cell vibrated to signal a text had just come in. The sweatpants had a pocket, and thats where Id stashed my phone. I read the screen, and my knees began trembling.
Screen name C. Holland said, Ill C U 2nite. 1st WOA. Hide weapons in UR room. Never know when U might need em.
Weapons. I seriously doubted he was referring to the baseball bat I had up there. After seeing him work those zombies over, he could only mean knives.
This is a whole new world, Bell. Better get used to it. I trudged back into the kitchen, quietly picked two of the largest blades, plus two of the smaller ones, and prayed Nana wouldnt miss them or find them in my room. No telling what shed think.
Took me half an hour to decide where to hide them, but in the end I went with under my pillow for easy access, the closet, behind the door, and under a pile of books by the window.
Now too jazzed for my nap, I plopped in front of the computer, intending to research zombies, but little aches and pangs prevented me from sitting still. And jazzed or not, I was exhausted. The words began to blur together.
In that moment, I understood what my mom used to tell me. No matter your state of mind, you had to find a way to recharge.
Yawning, I placed my phone on my nightstand and climbed into bed, the covers plumping around me. To my surprise, my mind instantly quieted and I slipped into a deep, deep sleep where no dreams dared intrude. Maybe the fact that I finally had a purpose had helped usher me to this sense of peace. Maybe it had released some of the guilt that had taken up residence inside me since the accident. After all, Id survived when the rest of my family hadnt, and Id been wasting my life, doing nothing but worrying. Until now.
Now, I would learn to ash the zombies. I would make a difference. I would save other families from suffering the way I had suffered.
I almost felt sorry for the zombies. Almost. Id never been so determined in my life. They wouldnt stand a chance.
* * *
A knock sounded at my door.
Come in, I rasped, trying to pry my seemingly glued eyelids apart. I wasnt sure how long Id slept, but I knew I needed another hundred hours before even thinking about leaving the comfort of my bed.
Nana peeked her head into my room. Shed pulled her sleek dark bob into a low ponytail, and she wore very little makeup, but then, even at her age she didnt need much. Her skin seemed to glow today, vitality pulsing from her. For the first time, I saw my mother in her. The timeless beauty, the gentleness.
I love you, Nana, I said, unwilling to hold back the words that Id denied my mother.
Her eyes instantly welled up with tears, wetting her lashes. I love you, too. Very much. She cleared her throat, as if to prevent a total breakdown. So you and Kat stayed up all night, did you?
Yes, I said, part of me wishing I could tell her something that would make her smile. We stayed up all night pillow fighting!
Maybe next time youll go to bed at a decent hour.
Doubtful, I grumbled. There probably wouldnt be a next time. My evenings would now be devoted to Cole and zombie slaying.
I remember those days, she said with a wistful sigh. Come on, kiddo. Its time to get up and around. Lunch is on the table.
Ill be down in a minute, promise.
No more than ten, she replied, her stern frown ruined by the gleam of happiness radiating from her. She shut the door behind her, leaving me alone.
I stretched, winced as my sore muscles protested and injuries pulled, and grabbed my phone. Three new texts awaited me.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and saw that the first was from Kat, aka Meow. U promised deets!
The second was also from Kat. Where are my deets??
The third was from Justin. Well, I hadnt stored his number, so the digits were unfamiliar, but I knew it was him because of the question. What time should I pick U up?
Hed once asked me if I was dating Cole, and Id said no. No was still the answer. But. There was always a but, wasnt there? Last night, Cole and I had nearly had sex on a dance floor. Wed fought zombies together, and hed invited me into his group. Hed answered some of my questions, and planned to answer more (or so he claimed). Hed protected me from the wrath of his friends. Maybe he was ready to date me.
Would I say yes if he asked? Better question: Was I ready for a relationship with a guy like him?
Before the zombies, I had already decided no. After the zombies, Ihad to change my mind, I realized. Id almost died. I didnt know how much longer I had left. I needed to live life to the fullest while I had the chance.
He had more experience, yes, and he had a commanding personality Id always have to be on guard against, and okay, the thought of being with him scared me as much as it fascinated me, but if he liked me, Id go out with him. I was done allowing fear to dictate my life.
No way Id give the zombies something to enjoy.
But if Cole didnt want me, fine. Id be okay. Sure, I might cry about it for a few days (cough weeks cough), but Id be okay. He wasnt the be-all and end-all. Right?
Groaning, I lumbered from the bed, brushed my hair and teeth and changed into my own clothing. I shot Kat a quick, Deets 2 come later. Promise.
I shot Justin a more thought out, How does 8 sound?
There wasnt enough time left of my ten minutes to wait for their replies, so I headed to the kitchen for lunch. On todays menu was turkey on rye and chips. One whiff, and I was a ravenous beast monster, my mouth watering and my stomach grumbling.
I devoured my portion without coming up for air.
Wow, Pops said, staring at me from across the table as if Id grown horns. You never told us you were a sandwich fan.
I can make ham and Swiss for dinner, Nana said, then frowned. What happened to your wrists and hands?
As ladylike as possible, I wiped the mustard from my upper lip. My hands? I studied the cuts and bruises, the swelling, and hoped with every ounce of my being that I looked calmer than I suddenly felt. Oh, that. I fell. Again with the truth that wasnt really the truth.
Looks like you punched someone, Pops said with a frown of his own.
He should know, Nana said with a nod. Your grandpa was a boxer in his youth. Sexiest thing Id ever seen, let me tell you. He wore these short little shorts, and sweat was always dripping down his hairy chest.
Gross!
They shared an affectionate glance before Pops prompted, Ali?
Oh, well. Hmm. I definitely fell. And uh, Ive got a date tonight. Well, not a date, but a friendship outing. If they didnt embrace the diversion, I didnt know what Id do. With a boy from my school.
A date? Pops toyed with the edge of one thick, silver brow. Wheres he taking you? What time will you be home?
What if he wants to have sex with you? Nana immediately jumped in. Did your mother talk to you about sex?
Oh, no. Not the sex talk. Please, not the sex talk. Yes, Mom talked to me. Moving on. A girl from school, Reeve, has a pool and a group of us are going over there to hang out. Kat introduced me to her, and I promise you, I will not be having sex with anyone. I was beyond embarrassed even saying the word in front of them.
And you know what else? After everything that had happened last night, it was weird, sitting here, eating lunch with my family, having a conversation that thousands of other teens were probably having.
Reeve. Pops pursed his lips. That sounds like a made-up name to me. What exactly will be crackalackin at this party? Will her parents be there?
Again with the horrible slang, the adorable man. Well swim, talk, probably play video games and Ping-Pong, I said, sidestepping the parents portion of his interrogation. I hadnt heard one way or the other, but I suspected a big fat no.
Pops gave me the evil eye. Youre not going to get chewed, are you?
Ihad no idea how to respond to that. Chewed?
Dont pretend to misunderstand, young lady, Nana said. Chewed. Cranked. Trashed.
You mean drunk? Please, let them mean drunk. This discussion had already taken too many horrendous turns.
My grandparents nodded in unison, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
No, I said. I promise. No drinking. On my part, I silently added. Who knew what the other kids would be doingafter taking shots of tequila off of each others bellies.
All right, then. Well trust you. Unless and until you give us reason not to, Nana added in that stern, motherly tone of hers. But well want to meet this boy, talk to him before you leave with him, that kind of thing.
I did not allow myself to gulp guiltily, even though I wanted to. Thank you. Hes nice, I promise. But were not interested in each other that way.
Then why are you going out with him? Nana asked, clearly exasperated with my continued insistence.
Because he asked me.
Are you leading him on? Pops demanded.
No!
We ask because we care. Nana brushed her hands together, and crumbs went flying in every direction. Now, then. Do you need a few dead presidents?
Took me a minute to decipher that one, too. Maybe a fewWashingtons, I said, giving the slang a shot just to make them happy. They were such good people. Theyd taken me in, given me a home, food and even personal space to mourn in my own way.
Pops pulled out his wallet. What if theres an emergency, and this boy leaves you alone in the restaurant? He is taking you to eat at a nice place, isnt he? Ill give you a few Lincolns. He withdrew three fives, placed them in my hand and closed my fingers around them.
Uh, were not going out to eat.
What kind of boy takes a girl to a party without feeding her first? Not one Id want to date, thats for sure, Nana said.
Someone help me. Were not dating!
They had a few more questions about the partywas I planning to skinny-dip, play strip anything or naked Ping-Pongleaving me in flames of mortification. By the end I managed to convince them of my determination to keep my clothes on and we agreed on a twelve-thirty curfew. We also agreed that I would call if Justin got handsy.
I liked that they cared enough about me to be concerned, but, oh, wow, this was painful. Id never had this experience with my parents because Id never gone out. Too bad I hadnt realized what a blessing that was until too late.
Back in my room, I finally had the opportunity to research zombies without falling asleep. Most of the info I found stemmed from movies, fictional books, a magazine about dating the undead, and role-playing that icked me out big-time, especially with images of naked Ping-Pong running through my mind. There was nothing I could take seriously, but I did find a few forums where people speculated about were-zombies-real-or-werent-they, what to do if you actually found one and the possibility of an uprising.
Nothing mirrored what Cole and Frosty had told me, and that proved one of two things. Either we were the best-kept secret in the world, or I just hadnt found the right sites. I was leaning toward option two. Even my dad had managed to find a site with tidbits of correct information. Hed read that guns wouldnt hurt the zombies; he just hadnt believed.
As I was closing the laptop, I spotted Emmas photo and the journal Id left on my closet floor. Nana must have done some cleaning and placed the items on my desk. I blew Emma a kiss before picking up the journal.
How could I have forgotten it, even for a moment? It was the reason Id known about spirit, soul and body before Cole had told me. And really, maybe this was where my dad had gotten his information.
Anticipation danced through me. I cracked the spine and read from where Id left off.
Ive been able to see the evil among us all of my life, but I didnt learn how to fight it until much later, and then only by accident. I tried using a knifenothing. I tried shootingagain nothing. Finally, when the monsters cornered me, I wanted so badly to destroy them, and deep down, I knew I could. I just didnt know how. A split second later, my spirit was out of my body. (Later I would learn that the wonder known as faith was the cause of the separation. You can stumble upon it, and not realize until later.) Suddenly I could touch the evil creatures Id before only seenand they could touch me.
After that, they were more determined than ever to end me. They hunted me as if I were wild game. For a while, I ran. But always they followed me, their darkness drawn to my light.
I had to teach myself how to ambush them.
Teach me! I thought with a flare of excitement.
If you possess the ability to see them, you should possess other abilities as well. A more highly developed sense of smell. An inward knowing of when evil approaches. A hand of heat.
Check, maybe check, cant check yet, I muttered.
Those abilities should be common to all of us, but some slayers refuse to yield to the power that swirls inside them. Why? I always wonder. Fear?
Possible check.
Oh, if only all of us would yield! There are even more abilities to be had, so many more.
Like the visions Cole and I shared, perhaps.
But all right. I can hear you now. You want to do something easy. Well, then. Speak. There is power in our words, when we wholly believe what were saying, and that power is available even in this natural realm. There is an energy that creates whatever is spoken without doubt, allowing our words to be a weapon for usbut if we arent careful, theyll become a weapon against us.
Like everything else, I had to learn the hard way.
But I can hear you now. If theres so much power in our words, we should be able to speak the end of the zombies, right? Wrong! The amount of power we wield with our words stems from the strength of our belief. Can you honestly tell me that you believe, from the bottom of your heart, that when you say something like, All zombies are wiped out, gone, that it will happen? No, you cant. You dont believe its possible.
Cole had already told me about the speaking thing, and though Id first doubted him, this acted as confirmation. Id have to be more open-minded about this stuff.
More than that, we can only believe for ourselves. We cant believe for others. We can protect ourselves, but we cant always protect others. And sometimes, what we speak takes time to manifest. How much patience do you have? How long can you believe before you begin to doubt? Doubt, even a little, and youve rendered your words powerless.
As for the other abilities
I tried to read on, except, the rest of the words were written in some sort of code. A rumble of frustration left me and I barely curbed the urge to toss the journal against the wall. I knew nothing about codes and couldnt believe my mother would have. So, who had written this journal, and how had she gotten it?
Maybe Cole would have an idea, but then again, maybe he wouldnt. I wasnt going to ask him.
He and his friends had not yet given me their full trust, and I wasnt sure what theyd think of my find. Decide it was a fraud? A way to trick them? A way to distract them? Also, I had to wonder if theyd try to take it away from me.
Okay, so I didnt trust them fully, either.
Youre still gonna say yes if Cole asks you out, right?
Well, yeah. Something Id learned: truly living required risk.
My phone beeped. Like everyone else in the world, I dropped everything to check, setting the journal down and picking up the cell.
Kat: U enjoy torture, I think. TELL ME NOW!
Id missed an earlier text, I saw.
Justin: Sounds good. C U then.
I dealt with Kat first. I told her that Cole and I had spent the night together, yes, but we hadnt done more than talk. Now that was the full truth and nothing but the truth. She was disappointed to say the least. And when I told her that Cole had had car trouble and that Frosty had to come to our rescue, she stopped texting.
I told Justin I was excited to see him, which was also true, but then I had to pray that he wouldnt take the words the wrong way. My grandparents had me paranoid about leading him on.
Then I had to ponder what Cole and his hell-razing boys and girls would think of my association with Justin. They were such an exclusive group. Outsiders were not welcome, and everyone knew it. Including me! By joining them, I would probably have to shove everyone else from my life. Justin I liked but wouldnt cry about losing. But what about Kat? Would she eventually fade from my life? She had from Frostys.
I really really liked her. She was fun and fresh and exciting. She knew her worth and wasnt afraid to tell others all about it.
Dont worry about this now. Tonight I would enjoy myself, as if I was a normal girl, just like any other. After all, I no longer had to question Cole; I already had the answers. I could hang out with Justin and get to know him better. I could see Kat and laugh with her. I would see Cole, too, andwho knew? Tomorrow, everything would change.
Id deal with the consequences then.
11Red Roses, White RosesBlack Roses
Justin arrived right on time. In other words, grilling time. To my utter mortification, my grandparents questioned him as if they were cops and he a hardened criminal. All I could do was watch in horror and apologize profusely.
Heres how it went down:
Pops: Plans for the future?
Justin: Not sure yet.
Pops: Well, why not? You dont got much longer in school, boy. Nows the time to figure things out, not later. Didnt anyone ever tell you that you cant spell later without the word late?
Justin: I promise you, Im doing my best to figure things out.
Pops: Doing my best is a phrase failures use. Why dont you buy a man card and finish figuring?
Me: Pops! Thats so rude. Justin, Im so sorry.
I knew this was for my benefit, for my protection, that my grandparents were concerned about me, and didnt want me to end up with a guy like my dad, that they wanted Justin to be so intimidated by them that he wouldnt try anything he shouldnt, but oh, my goodness, it was too much.
Pops: What? How is a valid question rude? But all right, fine, Ill move on since baby boy cant take the heat. How about you finish this sentence for me, Jason? When a girl says no, she means
Justin, looking desperately at me: No?
Nana: Are you not sure?
Justin, shifting uncomfortably: Im sure. No means no.
Nana: Well, look at you. You got one right. Now heres another, even tougher sentence for you to finish. Premarital sex is
Me: Nana! Im so sorry, Justin.
Nana: Unlike Pops, Im not moving on. Justin?
Pops: His name is Jason.
Justin: Uhuh
Pops: While you think about that, why dont you tell me how you feel about drinking and driving?
Justin: Im totally against it, I swear!
Nana: Methinks he protests too much.
They finally let us leave, and I apologized all over again.
That was brutal, he gritted out.
I know, Im sorry. They arent normally like that, I promise. They just want to make sure Im safe with you.
Dont worry about it, he said as he slid into the drivers side of his truck, but his voice was still as tight as it had been inside the house, and I knew he was going to worry about it for weeks.
I searched the sky as I buckled into the passenger seat. It was dark, a handful of clouds evident. Please be gone. Please dont be
The rabbit was there.
Cold fingers of dread crawled down my spine. Drive slowly, okay? I said to Justin. Frosty had slowed down and survived. Justin would, too. Surely. Please.
Whatever your grandparents told you, Im not drunk!
Yeah. He was still worrying.
I have a car phobia, thats all.
He kept things at a smooth jog. It was enough to prevent a freak-out.
I closed my eyes and retreated to the back of my mind. At least I didnt have to worry about the zombies. Because theyd come out last night they now needed time to rest andhere was an increasingly sickening thoughtdigest their food.
Were here, Justin said.
How? Only a minute or two I blinked and saw that hed already parked. Cars were lined up all over Reeves driveway, in the grass and along the street. Wow. We really are here. I must have lost track of time.