The words pump Agent Gutierrez hit him the wrong way, and he gripped the steering wheel with so much force he cracked the metal. Does Michael have another boat?
Yeah, but if I take it, Ill leave him stranded.
I seriously doubt that. Hes a plan B, C, and D man. Take the boat.
She sighed. Youre right.
Arent I always?
Ha, ha.
So listen. Tonight I have to rise from the dead. Ill sneak over to your house as soon as its done.
A sharp intake of breath. So . . . youre ending things with Pagan?
Yes. Itll be done by midnight.
Utter silence.
Man, he wished he could read Evie better, but when she wanted to be, she was a master at disguising her reactions. And without her nearby, he couldnt sense her emotions.
Funny, but the empathic ability hed once despised was now one of his most beloved and well used.
Just so you know, he added, Im not going to sleep with her. He didnt owe Evie the assurance; they werent dating and had made no promises to each otherand, damn it all, they couldnt be together.
None of that stopped him, however.
I didnt ask, did I? There was no emotion in her tone. Besides, sleeping with her before and/or after youve broken her heart would be a total douche move.
His jaw clenched. Look, until you, I always told her before I was going to do something with someone else. Not why, just that it was going to happen. She never minded, and thats part of the reason I stayed with her. If it werent for the job, I would have been faithful. I want to be faithful.
Again silence.
He wanted her to see him, the real him, he realized. And he wanted her to tell him she thought better of him. Even though he sometimes didnt think better of himself.
Do you know what its like to seduce someone youre not attracted to? he gritted. Or worse, someone you despise? Do you know what its like to hear their cries of pleasure and wish you were hearing cries of pain? Do you know how dirty something like that can make a person feel? Do you?
No, she whispered.
Do you know what its like to have sex with someone you know youre going to have to kill? Or to know just how badly your actions are going to hurt someone you care about?
Blue
Would you mind if I did sleep with her? he snapped. He didnt want her to see him now. Some part of him just wanted blood.
Another sharp intake of breath. Then, very softly, she said, Yes. I would mind. Just . . . try to end it by eleven, yeah. Ill be waiting for you.
Waiting for you.
What did that mean?
He knew what he wanted it to mean. Because as much as he wanted blood, he still wanted her. If shed let him, hed take her and deal with the consequences.
Ill hurry, he said.
The piece in his ear shut off, spilling static.
* * *
Blue called Pagan from the road and told her he would come by her place around ten for a chat-up, as Evie would say, then hung up when she rapid-fired questions at him.
Non-man-whore move: he wasnt going to destroy her dreams and aspirations over the phone.
Besides, there was nothing he could tell her that would make her feel better about what was about to happen.
He stopped at Evies safe house to grab the laptop and Lucky Horn flash drive, then went home to get his favorite SUV and let his neighbors know he was back in business.
Finally the moment of truth arrived.
He checked the perimeter of Pagans house for any surveillance equipmentfound noneand made his way to the door. She answered before he had a chance to knock, and a hard fist of guilt pummeled him. She wore a slinky red dress that hugged her voluminous curves, and her blond hair framed her perfectly made-up face. Shed gotten dolled up for him.
She was beautiful and stacked and everything hed once thought he wantedbut nothing he truly did. Seemed he had a taste for a certain slender, dark-haired, doe-eyed girl and only she would do.
Im sorry, Michael.
Ill be waiting for you, Evie had said.
Be naked, he should have told her.
Pagan motioned him inside, and as he passed her she said, Where have you been? Why didnt you call? Who were you with? I have a right to know!
He turned to face her, hating himself more than ever. Just get it over with. Tone gentle, he said, Im sorry, Pagan, but this isnt working for me.
Shock registered a moment before a nervous laugh slipped from her. I know Im acting like a witch right now. Ive been worried about you, thats all. But youre here now, so I can relax. Lets have a drink and we can discuss something else.
Witch? Evie would have shot him in the face and called him a whore. And as much as he always despised when she used the word, he kind of preferred that kind of response to this. Acceptance.
Pagan took one of his hands and urged him forward. He planted his heels and clasped her other hand, holding her in place.
Youre asking questions you have every right to ask, he said, and if I was a good man, Id answer them. But Im not, and Im sorry about that, too. You deserved better than I gave you and you deserve better than youre getting.
Paling, she released him to twist the silk of her dress. What are you trying to say?
Im saying . . . were over. Im sorry, he repeated.
Youre serious, she gasped out.
I am.
But . . . but . . . is there someone else?
He gave her the hard truth. Yes. He owed her that much at least.
She threw herself at him and gripped his shirt, clinging. Who is she?
Does it matter?
Tell me. Tell me right now. Is there more than one?
Pagan. Dont do this to yourself.
A moment passed, then two, and all she did was breathe heavily. Youre right. I dont care who she is. Her hand trembled as she hooked a lock of hair behind her ear, her gaze never leaving him. Get her, or them, out of your system. I dont mind. Then come back to me.
He pried her fingers from his T-shirt and kissed her knuckles. As tenderly as he was able, he said, No, Pagan. This is good-bye between us.
But . . . but . . . Tears welled in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. Blue. Dont do this. Please.
Maybe he should have done to her what hed done to Noelle Tremain, and given her a reason to break things off with him. That way he could leave her with her heart intact.
No, he thought next. The guilt of what hed done to Noelle still haunted him. This was the better way. The honest way.
The right way.
Sometimes the truth could tear a person apart piece by piece, but at least the pieces could be welded back together, stronger than before. With lies, the pieces went up in flames before they ever hit the ground, and there was nothing left to patch.
Im sorry, but Im not going to change my mind about this. And, Pagan? You should be happy that I wont. Youre far better off without me. You want a family. I dont.
But I dont have to have a family, she rushed out. Besides, I dont even want one. Not without you.
Dont say that. Dont change your hearts desires for me or any man.
She pressed on. Take some time to think about this. Its late, and youve been gone, so youre probably tired right now. Yes. Youre tired, thats all. Get some sleep and well talk again.
No, he said, shaking his head. Im not going to change my mind.
Yes. You will. You must.
He tried again. Youre a beautiful, passionate woman, and someday a man will come along and put you first. But that man isnt me.
I dont have to be first. I just want to be with you. Please, Blue. I love you. Love you so much.
Hed never considered the fact that she might actually love him. He wouldnt have stayed with her this long if he had. Youll get over me, he said softly. One day you might even thank me for this. Then he stalked out of the house, feeling like a total tool because the breakup was overand all he wanted to do was go to Evie.
Twelve
BLUE BROKE SPEED RECORDS to get to Evies house, hid his car, and swiftly snuck his way to her back porch, out of sight of her neighbors. Then he pounded on the door with enough force to bend the entire structure.
For the first time in their acquaintance, he was single.
A minute passed. Two. She didnt answer.
He knocked harder, leaving an indentation. If she wasnt here . . .
If shed changed her mind . . .
He could have disarmed her systemagainbut he didnt want to give up his advantage or add to the bill he still hadnt paid. She hadnt yet realized that no matter what improvements she made, she would never be able to keep him out. His power could fry the wires in mere seconds.
Finally, she opened the door. His heart kicked into an uncontrollable rhythm. Unlike Pagan, she hadnt dressed to please him. She wore a tank top and shorts, and she wore them well, her slender body on perfect display. Her hair was loose. Fistable. Her eyes were unreadable, but that was okay, because he could feel the emotion pulsing from her.
White-hot, consuming desire.
His own, always there, roared to the surface.
Im sorry for what I said earlier, she muttered. For what Ive said throughout the years. For what Ive called you. I was wrong and I was cruel. I was a judgmental bitch, just like you called me. And I know these words arent good enough. I know I owe you so much more, and Ill understand if you cant forgive me.
Something clenched in his chest. She saw him. In that moment he realized hed never stopped hoping for this. Princess, Ive done bad things. I get why you said what you said. Yes, I can forgive you.
Relief bathed her expression. Thank you.
He nodded.
She nibbled on her bottom lip. You did it, then, she said. You ended things with Pagan. It wasnt a question.
He answered anyway. Yes.
Good. She had her arms wrapped around his neck a second later, her lips mashed against his, her tongue thrusting deep into his mouth, demanding a response. He lifted her off her feet, his hands firm on her ass to hold her against him. Now that he had her, he wasnt letting her go.
Gentle. Youll break her.
He stepped deeper into thekitchen, he notedand kicked the door closed, then walked to the wall and slammed her against it. Screw gentleness. The kiss became a wild thing, so down and dirty he couldnt stop the little growls rising from his throat, his mouth pressing harder, insisting on more from her. Everything. All.
Any idea . . . how good . . . you taste? he asked between sucking and nipping at her.
Dont talk. Youll ruin our truce.
His chuckle was dark and hungry.
His hands tangled in her hair, such silky, soft hair, and he fisted the strands the way hed always wanted. He angled her head for better access, needing more, desperate for more. He was like a starving man at a buffet, taking, taking more, taking all that he could get, doing to her mouth what he wanted to do to her body. Possessing. Branding.
You wet for me, baby?
Soaking. She jerked at his shirt even as she arched her hips forward, back, rubbing her core up and down on his erection, creating the most delicious kind of friction.
He removed her tank with a single tug. Her nipples poked through the thin fabric of her bra, and abraded his chest. He was so desperate for her, so hard. And his power was tugging at its leash. Beside him, several pots and pans floated in the air.
Im going to play with you for hours, he rasped. He wanted to tongue her nipples while his fingers thrust into her, pushing her over the edge once, twice. He wanted his mouth to descend and devour, and push her over a third time. Then . . . finally, then . . . he wanted to lift up and slam home.
Dont bother, she said, biting his bottom lip. Just do it.
The words startled him, and he frowned. No foreplay? Why the hurry? You got somewhere to be?
She licked her way across his jaw, then delved lower to suck on his neck. Just want to . . . reach the . . . finish line.
Finish line? A quick in and out? So they could both get off, and the wanting could stop? So they could both walk away and forget it happened?
She didnt want to want him, did she.
Maybe hed been wrong before. Maybe she didnt see him or like him, even in the smallest way. Because, despite her apology, she definitely didnt respect him.
Anger mixed with his arousal.
No sex, then. Not yet.
Not everMichaels daughter!
Yeah, but that was starting to matter less and less. Right now, it was her attitude he couldnt get past. But he had to take something from her. Otherwise hed have a power surge.
Sure. Thats why.
He scooted her higher up the wall, nuzzled her bra aside with his chin, and sucked on a pretty pink nipple. A broken groan left her. He tunneled a hand under her shorts, palmed the very heat of her, thrilling when she shouted with relief and pleasure.
Yes! The back of her head hit the wall. Going to . . . oh, so close already . . .
So beautiful. So mine.
Grip me, he commanded.
Her eyelids flipped open, and passion-drugged eyes stared at him. What? No. Youll come.
That was the point. Do it.
But
Do it or Ill remove my fingers from between your legs. Tonight, were going to make each other happy with a hand job. But thats as far as were going to go.
Why?
Because I said so. If youve got a problem with that, we can stop right now.
Her gaze fumed as she did as hed commanded. She would never know how thankful he was for her capitulationor how close hed come to begging. She reached past the waist of his pants to clasp his length, and hell. With that one touch, she almost unmanned him.
Youre so big, she breathed. Are you sure you dont want to put it in me? She nibbled on his earlobe. I think Id come with the first thrust.
Killing me. Lick first, he commanded.
She licked his ear.
Not there.
Understanding, she pouted for a moment, then removed her hand. He swallowed a moan as she licked her palm. Then, while her skin was wet, she clasped him again. The moist heat provided a smooth glide.
Thats not good enough, he said. He took her hand, forced it under her panties, between her legs, and let her rich wetness coat her skin. Then he returned her grip to his shaft.
Harder, he said, and Ill give you a finger.
She squeezed, slowly pumping her hand up and down. Her cheeks flushed with pleasure. This wasnt what shed wanted, but she wasnt going to be able to stop herself from enjoying it, he noted with pride.
And when her clasp tightened, he sucked in a breath, doing as hed promised and sliding one finger deep inside her. And, oh, he almost wished he hadnt. She was tight, hot, and soaking, just as shed promised. He had to get in her soon.
Faster, baby, he instructed, and youll get another.
Her speed increased, enough to wring a deeper moan out of him. So he gave her a second finger, stretching her. How long since shed had sex? As tight as she was, hed have to guess years. The idea filled him with a heady sense of possession, and he decided to reward her, working his thumb in a circular pattern at her apex.
Blue!
You feel so good. When I finally get inside you, Im going to pound so hard, take so much, youll swear youre dying. Later, youll beg me to pound even harder, to take more.
The dirty talk sent her over the edge. Her broken cry echoed as her inner walls clutched around him, again and again, holding him close and wringing every drop of pleasure she could from him.
Knowing shed climaxed sent a white-hot lance up his shaft, and he exploded in a rush, pumping into her grip until the last of his shudders faded.
It took him several long minutes to come down from the high, and when he did, he heard her breakfast table crashing to the floor, followed by the pots and pans. He removed his hand from hermaybe the most difficult thing hed ever done.
No. Wait. Not tasting the moisture on his fingers was the most difficult. But if he did it, if he gave in to the craving, he would next be on her. He wouldnt be able to stop himself.
He bent down and grabbed his shirt, then used the material to clean her hand. One day soon, he said, after weve both had a little time to think, were going to talk.
She eyed him warily. And what will our topic of conversation be?
Expectations.
* * *
A roommate.
A single, sexy male roommate.
A single, sexy male roommate whod just given her an earth-shattering orgasm.
The thoughts rolled through Evies mind, unstoppable. Shed attacked Blue the moment shed found out he was single. Hed been just as frantic to be with her . . . but he hadnt wanted sex from her. Just a hand job.
She wasnt sure what to think about that. Or the fact that he wanted to talk about expectations.
What kind of expectations? His? Hers?
She knew what his wereno strings. He could see other people and she couldnt complain.
But what were hers?
She didnt want to think about it. She thought she might actually cry.
Apparently, for now, they were just supposed to pretend they hadnt had their hands in each others pants.
Weve got work to do, hed said, moments after dropping the chat bomb. Go and get dressed in something that covers you from neck to toe, then meet me in your office. I want to watch the video feed from the club and listen to audio feed from Stars house. After that, we can figure out the best way for me to run into Tiffany.
Tiffany.
Gah. He had to charm the girl. Maybe more.
Evie wanted to kill her.
See? This is why you cant get involved with someone like Blue.
I protest only one detail of your work plan, shed replied, trying to act calm. Lets do our watching and listening in the living room, not the office.
Now, dressed in a pair of flannel pjs, she hooked her laptop to her giant holoscreen TV, allowing them both to view the Lucky Horn video feed from the comfort of the couch. Blue already reclined there, gorgeous and shirtless, wearing only a pair of loose slacks.
He was allowed to show skin. So unfair.
She wanted to lean into him as she settled beside him. Thankfully, she had a big bowl of popcorn clutched tightly to her middle, preventing her from making a fool of herself.
She forced herself to concentrate. On the screen, Timothy Mercer, the man whod tried to burn Blue alive, wandered throughout the Lucky Horn, shaking hands with a few of the patrons, leering at the girls as they paraded past him, and even slapping a few on the ass.
Pig, she said, tossing a handful of popcorn at the screen.
Good to know Im not the only one, Blue muttered.
She stiffened as she read between the lines. He claimed he forgave her, but clearly he hadnt yet forgotten. Youre not a pig. I was wrong to call you one, and Im sorry.
No response.
Fine. Back to the video, before she became a needy bag of pleas. Please tell me youve truly forgiven me. Please dont be mad at me. Please like me.
After hours and hours of watching Mr. Mercer repeat the same routine, she began to feel as though she were on a merry-go-round.
Finally Blue pressed Pause, the image freezing. He scrubbed a hand down his face. Were friends, right?
Yes. No. Maybe. After what had happened in her kitchen . . . Right.
Can I tell you something without getting a lecture about my whoring ways?
Hed slept with Pagan after all, and thats why he hadnt wanted to go all the way with Evie. What did you do?
His eyes narrowed. Its not what I did, its what I feel.
Oh.
Her guilt became the white elephant in the room. She had to stop thinking the worst about him. He wasnt a bad guy. He was actually a great guy. And bottom line? She had absolutely no room to judge. It was just easier to acknowledge his faults and ignore her own.
Tonight was hard, he said.
A pang cut through her chest. With me?
He threw a pillow at her. No, smarty. I hurt Pagan pretty bad.
Finally she understood. The breakup. She released a breath she hadnt realized shed been holding. You feel bad.
Yeah.
Even though you did the right thing?
His gaze was stark. Yeah. Even though. She cried.
A serial bang-and-bailer wouldnt care. He was so much more than Evie had ever given him credit for, wasnt he. Do you love her? she asked, tensing.
No.
Then you gave her a small hurt now to prevent a big hurt later on. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, Mr. Blue. I think I told you something along those lines at our first meeting.
Their eyes locked, neither of them willing to look away. The air thickened with awareness, always that awareness, and waves of his power brushed against her skin. Why? Why was this happening? Shed climaxed once tonight. She shouldnt be gearing up for another.
Blue jolted to his feet and backed away from her, toward the exit. Im tired. Im going to bed. Well figure out a plan of action in the morning. With that, he turned and stomped from the room.
Thirteen
MORNING SUNLIGHT WASHED THROUGH the bedroom, splashed on the bed . . . on Evie, who was sprawled across the entire mattress. And shed once accused him of being a bed hog, Blue thought with a wry smile.
He peered down at her, his entire body buzzing with energyand need.
It wasnt going away.
Surrounded by wisps of white lace hanging from the posts of the bed, and the pale blue fabric of the comforter, she was Snow White after shed eaten the apple. Or maybe Sleeping Beauty waiting for her prince . . . and a kiss. Ive had my hands in her hair. Ive had my face pressed against hers. Ive moved my lips against hers.
I almost had that pale, soft skin completely bared . . .
He fisted his hands to stop himself from reaching for her.
Last night, shortly after leaving her in the living room, he almost said to hell with it and jumped her. The heat of his desire practically scorched his soul. But first he wanted her to want him with the same ferocity he wanted her. Because if he took her, he would disappoint a very good man; a man he loved. He could even lose his job.
That was a lot to deal with, just for a casual affair.
Too much, really. And he wasnt going to do it, he decided.
Things with Evie had to be platonic from now on.
For the best.
Blue gave her a gentle shake. I need you to wake up now, dewberry. Unable to sleep, hed spent the entire night listening to the audio feed from Stars house. Finally, a few minutes ago, hed heard something worthwhile.
She blinked open her eyes, her irises a deep, rich brown with striations of gold. Hed never noticed the gold before.
He really liked the gold.
Great start there, Platono.
Blue? She batted his arm away and grumbled, What the flip are you doing in my room? And did you just call me dewberry? Because I am fully prepared to castrate you with a dull spoon.
He grinned. Get up and get dressed. We have a lead, and I know you want to tag along.
A lead? What lead?
Stars guards have information about someone matching Solos description. Apparently, he was spotted at an abandoned warehouse in No Mans Land, and they plan to gather the troops and go in guns blazing at dark, since they dont have the stones to face him in broad daylight. That means we can beat them there.
Blinking, she jolted upright. Dark locks tumbled down her shoulders and arms, and he had to force himself to back away from her before he did something stupid.
He strode to her dresser and pawed through the drawers, throwing a pink T-shirt in her direction, followed by a pair of socks, a bra, pink, like the top, and laceniceand a pair of pink panties. Lace as well. Really nice.
His stomach clenched as his craving for her intensified.
You respect Michael. You want to keep your job.
How many times would he have to remind himself?
She caught every item.
I know you like to go commando some of the time, but today youre going to be a good girl and wear proper undergarments. Hed never be able to concentrate otherwise.
Fine.
He strode to her closet and selected a pair of jeans. How soon can you be ready to leave?
Five minutes. And thats not girl code for an hour. She padded to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. A second later he heard the whirl of the enzyme showers motor.
He needed something to do with his hands or he was going to go balls to the wall, strip, and join her in that stupid shower. In the kitchen he made a pot of coffee and filled a travel mug for her.
Mr. Domestic. Thats me. He couldnt remember doing anything like this for anyone else.
The creaking of wood snagged his attention. He turned, watching as Evie marched down the stairs; damn it, she was once again so beautiful his chest began to ache. Shed pulled her hair into a ponytail, and her cheeks were bright from the heat of her shower. She wore the garments hed selected, and looked young and innocent and
Not for him. Never for him.
MICHAEL. JOB.
He gripped the kitchen counter with tense fingers.
What? she asked, adjusting the purse strap crossing over her middle.
Nothing, he croaked. To distract himself, he used his power to tug that strap over her head, allowing him to grab hold of the bag.
Hey!
He dug through the contents. A headlamp, compact, eyedrops, pyre-gun, superglue, brass knuckles, wet wipes, four rings, a mini flare gun, and a whistle. As he spoke, he held up each item. Some of this stuff I dont even recognize.
Give me that, she said, snatching the purse away and returning it to its rightful place.
Why a headlamp?
Why not?
Fair enough. He pushed the travel mug in her direction.
She arched a brow, suspicious. You made this for me?
He returned to gripping the counter, the granite cracking, and nodded.
Well. Her frown had nothing to do with anger but everything to do with confusion. Thanks. I guess.
Not a morning person, sunshine?
A glint of contrition in her eyes. There are people who would tell you Im not an anytime person.
Well, those people just dont know you.
Her jaw dropped, and she gazed at him with astonishment.
Yeah. Hed just astonished himself, too. Time to move on. You ready?
I need one more minute to send Michael everything weve acquired from Stars, and the Lucky Horn, she said. I know he plans to stay at the boathouse another day or two, and hes got nothing but time on his hands. He can let us know if he finds anything else thats useful.
When she finished, Blue led her to the garage.
Lets take my SUV, she said. Its not registered in my name, so its my in-case-all-hell-breaks-loose vehicle. A must-have for any agent of our generation.
Perfect.
During the drive, he remained on alert for any tails, and even took several wrong turns, doubled back, and went in circles. No one attempted anything nefarious.