As a child, hed only ever wanted her love. Offered freely. And when it was clear he wouldnt be getting that, offered through bribes. Yet time and time again she had rejected and denied him.
In that moment, peering into her defiant, hate-filled face, his restraint vanished. His control finally snapped. Hed had enough.
For once, she would know the pain hed experienced at her hands. For once, she would understand the depths of betrayal. For once, she would fear the things Koldo could do to her.
Lets see if I can change your mind, shall we? He withdrew a razor from the air pocket at his side and flashed into the center of the cagethe only way in or out. I look like my father, even though I despise him. I think its only fair that you look like him, too, since youre clearly still in love with him.
Her eyes widened, and she backed away from him, as far as she could possibly get. You wouldnt dare, she cried. My hair has only just begun to grow back.
Her words merely proved how little she knew about him. Just like you wouldnt dare to take my wings?
She leaned toward the left, then darted to the right, trying to avoid him as he closed in. You disobeyed me. You had to be disciplined.
Not that way. Koldo flashed to just in front of her and latched on to her upper arms. It was their first contact since hed carried her out of the depths of hell and brought her here. She was thinner, practically skin and bones, reminding him of Laila. Laila, the very image of Nicola. But that didnt soften him, either, and wouldnt stop him. In fact, it made him far angrier.
Your only goal was to make me suffer, he said, shaking her. Why?
He shouldnt have asked. He regretted the question immediately, and knew it revealed the hurt hed never been able to shed.
I couldnt allow you to turn out like him, she said, and all the fight vanished from her. She peered up at him with more of that hatred. I should have known it was a useless cause.
Im nothing like my father! So you despised him.
Yes, she hissed.
Yet you slept with him.
Yes! All right? Yes. I could tell you he tricked me. I could tell you it was a moment of weakness. What do you want to hear?
His grip tightened as he gave her another shake. The truth.
Utterly calm, she said, You were a mistake. Thats the truth.
With her words, she ripped a scab off his heart, and the wound bled into his soul. Youre right, he said, wishing he were emotionless. Instead, he was so torn up inside he wasnt sure he would ever be able to put himself back together. I was a mistake. And now Ill show you why.
He pushed her face-first into the ground, held her down with a knee in the center of her back and, while she screamed and tried to fight her way free, removed every strand of her hair, until he scraped her scalp clean.
The sound of a woman screaming, the sight of her struggling, caused so many terrible memories to rise. But even when he closed his eyes and shook head, the images wouldnt leave him.
Hed never stopped being the man his father had made him, he realized. And he never would.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
SENT ONES, CO CO. Sent Ones, Laila whispered as Nicola tucked her into bed.
I know.
Demons, Co Co. Demons.
I know, sweetheart. But we dont have to fear them, and Koldo assured me they wont be able to hurt us. And now, having witnessed what happened in the park, her confience in Team Good was untouchable.
How did I not know they were out there? Why could I not see them?
Your eyes were closed. Now theyre open.
I...I...Im not sure I can deal with this.
Nicola remembered when they were little girls and Laila had tucked her into bed after shed seen her first monster. How gentle and patient and kind her twin had been. Youve always been the strong one. Youll find a way.
A soft, humorless laugh left a sense of sadness behind. You always thought that. You always thought I was strong. But, Co Co, it was you. Always you. Laila stuffed her ears with the buds from the iPod Nicola had given her for their last birthday. Shed scrimped and saved for months to afford such a little piece of technology.
Sighing, Nicola kissed her sister on the cheek and left her to her rest. Not knowing what else to do, she explored Koldos home. Awe continually struck her, and she felt as though she had entered a fairy tale rather than a third-world country. The house itself was built of pine, and smelled rich and clean, but the furniture was what really stunned her.
There were velvet couches and chairs, ornately carved tables. Glass figurines, and bowls filled with diamonds, sapphires, rubies and emeralds as big as her fist. There were tapestries on the wall, and plush carpets on the floor. And that was just the living room!
Koldo really was loaded.
The kitchen boasted gold-veined marble countertops, copper pots and pans hanging from a sterling silver rack, and a large refrigerator that blended with the cabinet woodwork. Nothing was out of place. Not a speck of dust had settled onto the surface of the hand-carved table.
There were four bedrooms. Laila had claimed the one closest to the kitchen, and Nicola picked the one at the far end of the hall. There was a huge monster-size bed in the center, the rails draped by sheer pink lace. Pink? Lace? In a warriors home?
Had a female decorated?
Nicola bit the side of her cheek, fighting a tide of jealousy. The comforter was a lighter shade of pink, but no less brilliant. And this must have been where Koldo had wanted her to stay because the blankets her mother had sewn a few weeks before the car crash were folded and resting at the edge.
A bejeweled ceiling fan whirled slowly overhead. A mural of the heavens had been painted on all four walls, with a bright sun in the right corner, shining upon clouds of every size and shape.
At the left was a large bay window overlooking a thriving grove of orange trees. And behind the lush green leaves and plump pieces of fruit, she could see several mountains and even a volcano blowing thick smoke through the air. There were three breathtaking ponds, with fish that jumped up and cleared the surface.
Nicola stood there, amazed by the beauty, watching as the sun set on the horizon, reds and pinks forming, creating the perfect contrast to the lush greens and blues of the sloping land. Birds sang.
How long would Koldo want her to stay here? Shed thought...hoped...well, it didnt matter anymore. Koldo hadnt wanted her to go on the datea wonderful signbut shed gotten so angry shed insisted. How silly. Especially considering the fact that shed only accepted the date because hed disappeared those three days.
Now he was back...but she was stuck.
What was she going to do?
A rustling of clothing behind her had her spinning. Koldo stood a few feet away from the bed, with his head down and his hands clenched. Strands of hair stuck to his face and chest, both dark and light. Dirt streaked his skin. He had bite marks on his hands. His breathing was deep and even, but he was using too much force, as if the hold he had on his calm facade was tenuous.
Whats wrong? All thoughts of the dating disaster left her, and she raced over to him. Were you attacked again?
Silent, he just sort of fell back into the plush chair behind him.
Worry filled her as she crouched in front of him and rested her palms on his rock-hard thighs. Heat radiated from him, enveloping her, and she shivered for a reason that had nothing to do with temperature.
Talk to me, she prompted. Please.
Golden eyes beseeched her to...what?
Shed never seen him like this. So torn up. So tortured.
So broken.
Koldo. What else could she say?
He leaned back, his head thumping against the wooden arch. I...did something. Something terrible. It was deserved. I should be thrilled with the results, but...but...
What could he possibly have done to cause this kind of reaction? Tell me.
He scrubbed a hand down his face. And watch hate fall over your features, too? Like Laila, he laughed without humor. No.
The strands of hair floated from him and into the air, twirling to the ground. He likes jokes. Tease him. You gave someone a mullet, didnt you? she asked with a small smile.
He closed his eyes, pushed out a breath and lifted his arms up and back with fierce force, punching a hole in the wall. The sharp boom jolted her.
Such a reaction... Had he actually given someone a mullet? Koldo
Im sorry, he croaked, focusing on her. I shouldnt have done that.
Okay, so maybe not a mullet, but his doom and gloom definitely had something to do with the hair.
Make me forget, he pleaded. Just for a little while. Tell me a story.
She would do anything to bring him peace. But what could she tell a centuries-old warrior to entertain him? Oh, I know! One time, a girl in my class called me and Laila freakazoid Frankensteins because of the tubes coming out of our clothingand I know, I know, its a very original name, but I digress. It made Laila cry. Notice that I said Laila. Not me, just so were clear. I did not spend twenty minutes in the bathroom, leaning against a very unsanitary toilet, sobbing so hard snot was bubbling from my nose.
The slightest measure of pain faded from his expression, and he ghosted his hand over the line of her jaw. What happened next?
She shivered as she said, You have to guess what very polite, very mannerly thing I did to pay the little wench back.
What?
Guess.
You, hard-core punk that you are, called her a very naughty name.
Nope. I punched her in the face and broke her nose. No one calls my twin sister a freakazoid Frankenstein and gets away with it. Let that be a lesson to you. You might want to write that down and circle it.
He barked out a laugh. A very rough, very hoarse laugh, leading her to believe he hadnt laughed in years. If ever. And she had been the one to bring him to that point, pushing him past his upset, drawing him out of miry darkness and into light. And oh, he was beautiful like this.
So badly she wanted to rise up, crawl into his lap and kiss him. Just press her lips into his, taste him, relearn him and offer comfort in another way. But after their fight...
Another story, he said.
Ill give you a question instead. And probably sound needy, but she didnt care. Do Sent Ones date? Obviously they kissed, but...
His brow furrowed, as if the change of subject confused him. Some do.
Dont do this. Dont press. Do you?
No.
Oh. The very disappointment shed denied crashed through her. Never?
Never. He looked at her, really looked at her, his golden gaze boring deep. His arms lowered to his sides. His hands gripped the fabric of the chair, as if he had to force himself to be still.
To keep from punching another hole in the wallor from doing something else?
If I told you I had tortured another Sent One, he said, would you think I was a monster?
Would she? Did you?
Silence.
Yeah. He had. And hed felt the action, whatever it was, had been deserved. Wasnt that what hed said a moment ago? But still he regretted it, whether he realized it or not.
What Ive learned over the years is that people shouldnt be defined by a single mistake. Everyone messes up, she said. You have to forgive yourself and move on.
He ran his tongue over his teeth. What makes you think this was my first mistake?
She sighed. Youre missing the point, Koldo.
Doesnt matter. Whatever the point, I cant forgive myself.
You can. Its not a feeling, but a choiceand then acting on that choice. And I know Im supposed to be the one seeking joy, but its clear you need it, too. I think your unwillingness to let go of this, whatever this is, is as much a toxin as what the demons cause.
Another round of silence.
Well, wisdom hadnt worked. She would try humor again. I mean, seriously. All the best therapists on TV say that focusing on the past causes stagnation. And diarrhea.
He barked out another laugh, then quickly sobered. Did you ever do anything to hurt He pressed his lips together.
Hurt who?
He cleared his throat. Wheres your sister?
Nice dodge. But as upset as he was, she allowed it. Sleeping in her room. Nicola stood, held out her hand. I know whatll make you feel better. Well go to the kitchen and Ill fix the most mediocre meal youve ever had the pleasure of tasting, since my specialties are cereal and microwave dinners. Meanwhile, you can give me another lecture.
I dont lecture. I teach. He placed his hand in hers, his calloused palm causing goose bumps to rise. He paused for a moment, never allowing her to help him up. Then, he shook his head as if hed just made a decision and tugged her down.
Yelping, she tumbled into his lap and her ponytail slapped him in the face. She put her hands on his big, strong shoulders for balanceand lost her breath as he meshed his lips into hers.
Oh, sweet mercy. Just like last time, her bones instantly melted. It didnt matter that he was too rough at first, then too soft; he branded her, claimed her, delighted her. And his taste, oh, his taste. It was decadence, pure and simple, like the summer and the winter, the spring and the fall, every season, every day, carrying her straight into eternity.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. He groaned, and then...then, he figured out exactly how he wanted to kiss her, and the pressure evened out. He tilted his head, deepening the contact. Taking, giving. Demanding, beseeching. Owning.
It became more than a kiss, and on some level, it scared her. He was giving her something precious. And she was giving him something precious right back. But she didnt know what that thing washer trust? A piece of her heart?and wasnt sure she wanted to know.
What would happen if she fell for him? If she gave him everything?
Would he welcome her softer feelings? Or run from them?
Whatever the answers, they scared her, too. All she knew was that every point of contact reminded her that shed never experienced anything like thisand probably never would again. How could she? He was the light in the darkness. The harbor in the storm. The hope she needed in the middle of the war.
There was no other man like him. He was one of a kind. And she wanted him to find as much pleasure with her as she was finding with him. She wanted to be what he needed.
To delight him, and not disappoint him.
His hands roamed the contours of her back...then lower. He caressed and he kneaded and...and...she was consumed, shaking, needy. Gasping, desperate. And he was...shaking, too, she realized, as affected as she was, his fingers rough, a little desperate, and the knowledge shattered her.
Koldo. Frantic, she tunneled her fingers under the collar of his robe. The fabric ripped away with a simple touch, granting her skin-to-skin contact, the sizzle of his flesh heating her up. And when his muscles jumped underneath her touch, as if seeking closer contact, the heat got worseand a thousand times better. He was so soft, so hard, so...exactly what shed always craved without ever knowing she craved it.
Nicola, he gasped out.
More, she demanded, the word escaping of its own volition. She continued to rip at his robe, finally baring the full breadth of his chest.
Sweet mercy. He. Was. Magnificent!
Bronzed and toned, stacked with muscle and sinew, chiseled by the hand of a master artist. His chest... That stomach rippled with iron bars... That perfectly dipped navel. A scar here, a scar there, but still, nothing about him was flawed. Hed been honed on a battlefield, every mark a badge of strength.
She kissed his neck, and his head fell against the back of the couch, allowing her better access to him. She kissed his shoulder, his collarbone, reckless in her bid to show him just how deeply she accepted him, whatever hed done, whatever the future held. His grip tightened on her hips, and she lifted to once again fit their lips together. He moaned into her mouth, and took over, dominating her in the most amazing way. And she was...she was...
Struggling to breathe, she realized, trying to suck in a single gasp of oxygen but failing. Her mind fogged.
Nicola? he demanded. Whats wrong?
Im...okay...will be... No, no, no. Not this. Not now. She would ruin the momentmaybe even his feelings for her.
He tugged his robe together, the material somehow repairing itself. He cupped her face in his big hands. Inhale slow and easy, all right? Now exhale just as slow, just as easy. His thumbs traced her cheeks, his skin so hot she could have been pressed against the sun. Thats the way. In. Out. Yes. Good girl.
A minute passed. Then two, three, before she finally regained her composure. And then she kind of wished she hadnt.
She had ruined the moment, she realized. Worse, shed revealed the depths of her weakness and proven just how worthless she was in the relationship department.
A strong man like Koldo had to despise people like her.
Im tired, she muttered. I should go to bed.
His gaze locked with hers, unwavering. Youre upset. Why?
Just forget it, okay?
I cant. Are you angry about something I did?
No. She couldnt let him think that.
Then what?
Just let this go. Please.
I cant. Talk to me.
Look, I Wanted to leave the room and his penetrating stare. Wanted to leave and hide and forget this had ever happened.
But she wouldnt be able to forget, would she? This was burned into her mindand every cell in her body.
Knock, knock, is home anyone? Laila asked, stumbling past the door and into the room, the scent of alcohol accompanying her. She giggled when she spotted them, wavered on her feet. Uh-oh. Did I something interrupt? Wait. That came out wrong. I something interrupted. A nod. Another giggle. Much better.
Nicola climbed off Koldo and stood, nearly toppling over herself. Stupid legs. I thought you were asleep, she said, happy for the reprieve. Only, she jolted backward.
The monkeysthe demonswere perched on Lailas shoulders.
Koldo, she whispered, and pointed. Look.
Laila spun in a full circle, nearly fell. What?
Koldo pushed to his feet, the beads in his beard clanging together.
The monkeys squeaked out a protest and darted from the room.
Ill pretend I know whats going on, Laila said with a stern tone ruined by a goofy expression.
Why hadnt she seen the demons? Her eyes had been openedshe should be able to see them now. Right?
I was in the kitchen and found this. Grinning, Laila raised a bottle of vodka.
Koldo stiffened. Where did you find it?
In the hands of one of your friends. And a good thing he brought it, because I almost died of a heart attack when I spotted him and needed a little something to calm me down.
A friend? What friend?
The kind that will stab you in the chest just to hear you scream.
Nicolas gaze snagged on the chair Koldo had abandoned. There were two glowing palm prints on the cushions, with flecks of golden glitter the exact shade of his eyes. Prints that hadnt been there before. What...how...odd, she finished.
Standing by her side, he reached out, settled two fingers under her chin and forced her to face him. Stay here. And remember what I told you about the tattoos. With that, he stormed from the room, shutting the door behind him.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
KOLDO WOULD NEVER FORGET the exquisite feel of Nicolas lips against his or the softness of her body pressed against him, or the sweetness of her taste and a thousand other things that had set his blood on fire, causing him to ache, to reach the razors edge of desperation.
The entire time hed had her in his arms, hed forgotten the horror of his earlier actions. His inner brokenness had been eased, and hed felt whole. Happy. At peace for the first time.
The future had seemed bright. Problems? What problems? Thered been no anger, no dread, no sense of hopelessness. Hed been...normal.
But hed done something to upset her, no matter what shed claimed. First, she had melted. Then, after shed come out of her faint, she had stiffened, preparing to bolt.
Had she regretted what had happened?
Probably. Hed mauled her, and shed been prepared to leave him. Had she succeeded, he would have chased her and...what? Demanded she still desire him?
He wouldnt be so pathetic. Would he?
Maybe her desertion was for the best. He wouldnt always have her, and so he couldnt allow himself to come to rely on her. He had himself, and only himself, and thats the way it had to be. That was safe. Thats what he knew.
Stalking into the kitchen, he summoned the sword of fire. The flames crackled, light spilling in front of him. What he expected to find, he wasnt sure. Zacharel didnt know this place existed, nor did any other Sent Ones. His father didnt, either, but the male was out there, actively hunting him.
To his astonishment, he found Axel sitting at his kitchen table, eating the food Koldo had bought for Nicola and her sister.
Anger ignited. How did you find me?
With cheese dust on his chin, the warrior said, I can find anyone, anywhere, anytime. A little talent of mine. He lifted a bag of chips. The only source of junk food in the entire house. Do you have these in Tabasco?
The anger instantly subsided. If Axel could find anyone, he could find Koldos father before Nox found Koldo.
The battle could be over before it ever began.
You shouldnt have come, and you shouldnt have brought alcohol. A single drink and Koldos Nefas side would come rushing to the surface. His teeth would elongate. His nails would curl into claws. His temper would overtake him. Yeah. Alcohol is all thats needed for that. But since youre here, Ill put you to work. Whatever your price, I need you to hunt down a...Nefas. He waited for a reaction. Most people shuddered at the mere mention of the race.
Axel ignored him, popping another chip in his mouth. You should have a chat with the blonde about sharing her drinky drink with guestsespecially when said drinky drink belongs to the guest! It was way impolite to threaten to bash me in the head with the vodka bottle when I tried to steal it back. And by the way, did you know your hands are glowing?
What are you Koldos gaze locked on his palms. His glowing palms. The essentia had at last begun to seep from his pores.
Hed wanted Nicola that much, his body instinctively seeking to mark her as his exclusive property, even though she wanted someone else.
He should be ashamed, considering hed never bond with her.
But he wasnt.
How did you bypass my cloud? The warrior should have encountered a solid barrier.
If I told you, blah, blah, blah.
He arched a brow. Youd have to kill me?
Dont be silly. Id only cut out your tongue to keep you from talking, and cut off your hands to keep you from writing or signing. Axel dusted his hands together and stood. Id love to help you with your little Nefas problem, but Im actually here because Zacharel called a meeting in the heavens. And what do you want with the Nefas, anyway? Those suckers are hard-core.
So are we. Was the meeting the one Zacharel had mentioned when Koldo had visited his cloud? When the warrior had been covered in blood and injuries? Where does he want us?
Deitys temple in the heavens.
Deity. Germanus. Koldo looked forward to seeing his mentor again. They hadnt spoken since Koldo had been told he belonged to Zacharel. And that was all Koldos doing. Hed been so irate to learn of his fate, hed kept his distance rather than yell. However, Germanus would have welcomed him at any time.
Ill meet you there, he said pointedly.
Like I really want to stick around and carry you again. Did I mention you weigh more than a building? Axel stood, flared his wings and leaped into the air, misting through the ceiling and disappearing.
Koldo stalked down the hall and into Nicolas room. Laila was jumping on the bed, singing off tune, losing her breath.
something, something, something, you love me. Yeah. Yeah. Something, something, together.
Nicola lounged on the couch, a blanket strewn across her legs. One of his books about heavenly battle strategies rested in her lap.
There are nightclothes in the dresser, he said, and she glanced up. Meeting those stormy gray eyes was always a pleasure and a pain. They were always direct
Except this time.
She looked away. Her cheeks flushed.
He shifted uncomfortably and added the words Annabelle had told him would be necessary. These garments were purchased for you and you alone. No other female has ever worn them.
Thank you, Nicola said stiffly.
That hadnt been the problem, then.
Laila continued to sing.
Ive been called away, he explained.
Hey, Cool-e-oh, Laila said, falling back on the mattress and bouncing. Guess what? Im going to have your houses baby. I just love it so much!
He...had no idea what to say to that.
When will you return? Nicola asked, toying with a loose thread on the blanket.
Im not sure, but Ill make sure someone is here to escort you to work if I cant return by morning.
No worries. I dont work at Estellä over the weekend.
Thats right. Tomorrow was Saturday.
But we do have our double date, Laila said. And its gonna be fun!
His hands fisted at his sides as he waited, hoping Nicola would speak up. But she remained silent, clearly still desiring to go, even after everything that had happened between them.
For the best, he reminded himself.
Ill make sure you get there, as promised, he gritted out.
And now, he should go. He knew he should go. Yet still he hesitated. I bought you a cell phone, he told Nicola. Annabelle had insisted. Its in the top drawer of the nightstand. I bought one for myself, as well. It currently rested in a pocket in his robe.
Whats your number? she asked.
It is already programmed into the device. And it was the only one in there. The only one he would allow her to put in there. Call me if you need me. For any reason. Or even if you dont have one.
She nodded, opened her mouth, closed it.
Dont worry about anything. Stay calm.
And sow joy, she said with a sigh. I know the drill.
He didnt bother telling her to stay within the bounds of his property. The cloud would ensure that she did.
Without another word, Koldo flashed to the garden of Germanuss temple. As many times as hed been here throughout the centuries, he knew the area by heart. Two rivers flowed out of the alabaster columns in front and wound through the flowers, cascading over the sides of the cliff in the clouds to shower the stars. For the first time, however, the entire expanse was covered with Sent Ones. Hundreds of males and females surrounded him, the noise level utterly out of control.
Koldo flashed here, and he flashed there, searching for the soldiers belonging to Zacharel. He found them at the far left, in front of the alabaster steps and ivy-rich columns that led to the towering double doors of the temple.
Charlotte and Ronen winked and waved at him.
Elandra turned her back on him.
Malak was too busy staring at Bjorn to notice him.
Bjorn was too busy talking to Thane and Xerxes to notice Malak.
Jamila spotted him and frowned. She shoved her way over and said, Things are going down at Estellä. Sirena has it out for your girl. Hates her, in fact. The things she does and says when Nicolas back is turned... She shuddered.