Lindsay, the one on the far end called out.
Lindsay, he corrected, reaching over and pulling her in closer. Girls, you met my friendand this is my boss.
The soldier didnt bother with nameswhy waste the breath? Yet regardless of the improper introduction, they seemed excited: Carla, Beth, and Lin-whatever-the-fuck smiled at Throe, all green-light in the eye until they looked at Xcor
Even though he was mostly in the shadows, a security light had been motion-activated above the door theyd come out of, and clearly they didnt like what they saw. Two of them dropped their eyes to the ground. The other just got busy fiddling with Zyphers leather jacket.
The intrinsic rejection was not an unheard-of reaction. In fact, no female had ever looked upon him with approval or attraction.
Fortunately, he couldnt care less.
Before the silence could get awkward, Zypher said, Anyhow, these lovely ladies are about to go to work
At the Iron Mask, Lin-whatever spoke up.
but theyve agreed to meet us out here at three oclock.
When we get off, one of them tacked on.
As the trio fell into a set of annoying, naughty giggles, Xcor was no more interested in them than they were in him. Indeed, his ambitions were far loftier than the likes of Zyphers. Sex, like taking blood, was an inconvenient biological function, and he was far too smart to ever fall for that romance bullshit.
If one was determined to go that route, castration was easier, less painful, and just as permanent.
So, do we have a date? Zypher said to the woman.
The one whod all but crawled into his clothes whispered something that brought his head down. As his brows tightened, it wasnt hard to figure out what the gist was, and the woman didnt look too unhappy about his answer.
She purred.
Then again, that was what unspayed alley cats did, Xcor supposed.
Its a date, the vampire said, glancing at Throe. I have promised that we shall take care of these three very nicely.
Ive got what we need.
Fine. Good. He swatted the ass of one, then another. The third, the woman trying to get into his coat, he tilted back and kissed hard.
More giggling. More coy looks that were not entirely about the fact that these were prostitutes on the way to getting paid.
Just as they were leaving, each one of the women looked back at Xcor, their expressions suggesting he was like a disease they were soon to be exposed to. He wondered who was going to get the short end of the stick when they all reconvenedbecause sure as the day was long and the nights always too short, he was going to have one of them.
It simply cost extra in these kinds of situations.
Fine specimens of virtue, Xcor said dryly when he was alone with his soldiers.
Zypher shrugged. They are what they are. And theyll be good enough.
I am endeavoring to find us proper females, Throe said. It is not easy, however.
Mayhap you need to work harder. Xcor looked up to the sky. Now let us get to work. Time is wasting.
THIRTEEN
Whore? Whore?
As NoOne cast herself unto the Other Side and reentered the Sanctuary she had spent centuries in, she could get neither that word nor her anger out of her head.
Down below, in the training center, clean laundry had never been folded so viciously, and when she had finished her duties, staying in the mansion for the daylight hours had not been possible.
This was her only other destination.
And it was about time to come here to refresh herself anyway.
Standing in the field of colorful flowers, she took deep breaths and prayed that she would be left alone. The Chosen were a kindly lot of sacred females and they deserved better than what she had to offer even a casual passerbyfortunately, they were mostly over on the Far Side now with the Primale.
Hitching up her robing, she started to walk, marching through the perpetually blooming tulips with their fat hats in vibrant, jewel-like hues. She kept going until her bad leg started to protest. And then still she continued to promenade.
The Scribe Virgins precious territory was bound on all four sides by a thick forest, and peppered with classically styled buildings and temples. NoOne knew every roof, every wall, every path, every pooland now in her fury, she made a broad circle about it all.
Anger animated her, driving her forward toward nothing and nobody. And yet nonetheless she surged on.
How could he who had seen her suffer ever call her that? She had been a virgin violently robbed of the gift she had intended to give whomever she would have mated.
Whore!
Indeed, Tohrment was not the male she had once knownand as the thought occurred, she reflected that in this they were the same. She, too, had shed an earlier incarnation of herself, but unlike him, her current persona was an improvement.
After a while, her leg ached so much she had to slow down and then stop. The pain was a great clarifier, making the environment she was actually in supersede the one she had left down below but kept with her.
She was standing afore the Temple of the Sequestered Scribes.
It was unoccupied. As had all the other buildings been.
As she looked around, the true depth of the quiet sank in. The landscape was utterly unoccupied. It was as if, in a rake of irony, the vibrant color that had finally come hereto had not just replaced the pervasive white, but chased away all the life.
Recalling the past, when there had been so much to tend to, she realized that in truth, she had gone to the Other Side not just to seek her daughter, but to find another place where she could busy herself to exhaustion so that she did not think overly much.
Here she had nothing to do.
Dearest Virgin Scribe, she was going to go mad.
Abruptly, an image of Tohrment, son of Hharms naked shoulders filled her mind until she was blinded by it.
WELLESANDRA
The name was carved on the breadth of his musculature in the Old Language, the marking of a true union of bodies and souls.
After having something like that ripped away by fate, he was no doubt as ruined as she herself was. And she had been angry at first, too. When she had arrived here after her death and was shown her duties by the Directrix, her numbness had melted away, revealing a fire of rage. There had been nothing to lash out at except for herself, howeverand she had done that for decades.
At least until she had come to realize the why of her fate, the purpose behind her tragedy, the cause of her salvation.
She had been given a second chance so that she could be born anew into a role of service and humility, and learn the error of her previous ways.
Pushing the temples door wide, she limped into the lofty room, where the rows of desks and rolls of parchment and flares of feather quills were. At each station, in the center of the workspace, was a round crystal bowl filled three-quarters of the way with water so pure that it was nearly invisible.
Indeed, Tohrment was suffering as she had, perhaps just starting the journey she felt as though she had completed over too many years to count. And though her anger was an easy emotion to feel in the face of his unjust accusation, understanding and compassion were the harder, more valuable stances to take
She had learned this from the example the Chosen set.
Although understanding required knowledge, she thought, staring at one of the bowls.
As she stepped forward, she was uneasy with the quest she was about to initiate, and she chose a station far, far in the back, away from both the doors and the cathedral-size leaded windows.
Sitting down, she found no dust on the surface of the desk, nor minute debris within or upon the water, nor dried-up ink in the bottlein spite of the fact that it had been a long while since the room had been filled with females seeking out the events of the race down below and recording the history that appeared unto their kindly eyes.
NoOne picked up the bowl, holding it with her palms, not her fingers. With barely perceptible movement, she began to circle the water, picturing Tohrments back as clearly as she was able.
Soon enough, a story began to unfold, told in moving pictures that were trussed in living color, and animated by love.
She had never before thought to search him and his life out in the bowls. The few times she had come here, it had been to check on her familys fortunes and the course of her daughters life. Now, though, she knew it had been too painful for her to look into the pair of warriors who had given her shelter and protected her.
In her final, most cowardly act, she had betrayed them both.
On the surface of the water, she saw Tohrment with a red-haired female of grand staturethey were waltzing, she in that red gown, he robeless and showing off the fresh scarification that spelled out her name in the Old Language. He was so happy, incandescently so, his love and bonding making him shine like the North Star.
There were other scenes that followed, drifting down through the years, from when it had been all new between them to the comfort that came with familiarity, from small abodes to larger ones, from good times where they laughed together to hard times when they argued.
It was the very best that life had to offer anyone: a person to love and be loved by, with whom you carved meaning in the oak trunk of times perennial passing.
And then another scene.
The female was in a kitchen, a lovely, gleaming kitchen, standing before a stove. There was a pan on the heat, some meat cooking therein, and she had a spatula in her hand. She wasnt looking downward, however. She was staring into the space afore her, her eyes unfocused as smoke began to curl up.
Tohrment appeared across the way, rushing into the doorway. He called out her name and grabbed a small towel, going over to a fixture on the ceiling and whisking the cloth back and forth with vigor as he winced as though his ears hurt.
Over at the stove, Wellesandra jumped to attention and shoved the burning pan from the red-hot coil. She began speaking, and though there was no sound associated with the pictures, it was clear she was making apologies.
After all was settled and calmed and no longer afire, Tohrment leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest, and spoke for a bit. Then he went silent.
It was a long while before Wellesandra answered. In the previous pictures of their life, she had always appeared to be strong and direct now her expression was hesitant.
When she finished her reply, her lips pursed together and her eyes locked on her mate.
Tohrments arms gradually unfolded until they hung limp by his sides, and his mouth grew lax as well, his jaw unlatching to fall open. His eyes blinked repeatedly, open and shut, open and shut, open and shut.
When he finally moved, it was with the grace of someone who had broken every bone in his body: He lurched across the distance that separated them and fell to his knees before his shellan. Reaching up with shaking hands, he touched her lower belly as tears watered his eyes.
He didnt say a word. Just gathered his mate to him, his big, strong arms enveloping her waist, his wet cheek coming to rest on her womb.
Above him, Wellesandra started to smile beam, really.
Down below her happiness, however, Tohrs face was cast in lines of terror. As if he knew, even then, that the pregnancy she rejoiced in was doom for all three of them
I thought Id find you on this side.
NoOne whipped around, the water in the bowl splashing out onto her robe, the image ruined.
Tohrment stood in the doorway sure as if her invasion of his privacy had called him forth to protect what was rightly his. His temper had dissipated, but even in the absence of anger, his gaunt face was nothing close to what she had just seen of him.
Ive come to apologize, he said.
She carefully put the bowl back, watching as the choppy surface of the water calmed down and the level slowly rose to what it had been, replenished from an unknown, unseeable reservoir.
I figured Id wait until I sobered up a little
Ive been watching you, she said. In the bowl. With your shellan.
That shut him up.
Getting to her feet, NoOne smoothed her robe even though it fell as it always did, in straight, shapeless folds of cloth. I understand why you are in a foul way and quick to temper. It is in the nature of a wounded animal to strike out at even a friendly hand.
When she looked up, he was frowning so deeply, his brows were a single line. Not exactly an opening for conversation. But it was time to clear the air between them, and as with the debridement of a festering wound, one could expect it to hurt.
The infection must be wrestled from the flesh, however.
How long ago did she die?
Killed, he said after a moment. She was killed.
How long.
Fifteen months, twenty-six days, seven hours. Id have to check a watch for the minutes.
NoOne walked over to the windows and looked out over the bright green grass. How did you find out she had been taken from you?
My king. My brothers. They came to me and they told me she had been shot.
What happened after that?
I screamed. I took myself somewhere, anywhere else. I cried for weeks in the wilderness alone.
You didnt perform a Fade ceremony?
I didnt come back for nearly a year. He cursed and scrubbed his face. I cant believe youre asking me this shit, and I cant believe Im answering.
She shrugged. It is because you were cruel to me at the pool. You feel guilty, and I feel like you owe me something. The latter makes me bold and the former loosens your lips.
He opened his mouth. Shut it. Opened it again. Youre very smart.
Not really. It is obvious.
What did you see in the bowls?
Are you sure you wish me to say?
All of it plays in my head on an endless loop. Not gonna be a news flash, whatever it is.
She told you she was pregnant in your kitchen. You fell to the floor before hershe was happy, you were not.
As he blanched, she wished shed shared one of the other scenes.
And then he surprised her. Its weird but I knew it was bad news. Too much good fortune. She wanted one so badly. Every ten years we fought about it when she had her needing. Finally, it got to the point where she was going to leave me if I didnt agree to let her try. It was like choosing between taking a bullet or a bladeeither way, I knew somehow I was going to lose her.
Using the crutch, he hobbled over to a chair, pulled it out, and sat down. As he awkwardly maneuvered his injured foot around, she realized they had yet another thing in common.
She approached him slowly and unevenly and sat at the desk beside him. I am so sorry. When he seemed a bit surprised, she shrugged once again. How can I not offer condolences in the face of your loss? In truth, after seeing you both together, I dont think I shall ever forget how much you loved her.
After a moment, he murmured hoarsely, That makes two of us.
As they fell silent, Tohr stared at the small, hooded figure sitting so still next to him. They were separated by about four feet, each parked at one of the scribing desks. But they seemed closer than that.
Take your hood off for me. As NoOne hesitated, he tacked on, You saw the best of my life. I want to see your eyes.
Her pale hands lifted, and they shook ever so slightly as she removed what covered her face.
She didnt look at him. Likely couldnt.
With dispassionate focus, he measured the spectacular angles of her features. Why do you wear that all the time.
She took a deep breath, the robe rising and falling such that he was forced to remember she was probably still naked under it.
Tell me, he demanded.
As she squared her shoulders, he thought that anyone who believed this female was weak had another think coming.
This faceshe motioned around her perfectly angled jaw and her rosy, high cheeksis not who I am. If people see it, they treat me with a deference that is inappropriate. Even the Chosen did so. I cover it up because if I dont, then I am propagating a lie, and even if it grinds upon only me, that is enough.
You have quite a way of putting things.
Is the explanation not sufficient.
It is. When she went to raise the thing up again, he reached out and put his hand on her arm. If I promise to forget what you look like, will you keep it down? I cant judge your mood as well when youre hidingand in case you havent noticed, were not exactly talking about the weather here.
She kept her hand on one half of the hood, as if she couldnt let go. And then she locked her eyes on himso directly he recoiled.
It was the first time shed really looked at him, he realized. Ever.
Speaking with likewise candor, she said, Just so that you and I are utterly clear with each other, I have no interest in any male. I am sexually repulsed by your kind, and that includes yourself.
He cleared his throat. Pulled at his muscle shirt. Shifted in the chair.
Then he took a slow, relieved breath.
NoOne continued, If I have offended you
No, not at all. I know its not personal.
It truly is not.
To be honest, it makes things easier. Because I feel the same way.
At this, she actually smiled a little. Two peas in a pod are we, indeed.
They were quiet for a time. Until he said abruptly, Im still in love with my shellan.
Why wouldnt you be. She was lovely.
He felt himself smile for the first time in so long. It wasnt just her looks. It was everything about her.
I could tell by the way you stared at her. You were enthralled.
He picked up one of the quills and checked out the fine, sharp cut of its tip. God I was nervous that night we were mated. I wanted her so badlyand I couldnt believe she was going to be mine.
Was it arranged?
Yeah, by my mahmen. My father didnt care about that kind of thingor for me, for that matter. But my mother took care of things the best she couldand she was smart. She knew if I got a good female, Id be set for life. Or at least that was the plan.
Is your mahmen alive?
No, and Im glad she isnt. She wouldnt have liked any of this.
And your father?
Hes dead, too. He disowned me until he got close to the grave. About six months before he died, he called me to himand I wouldnt have gone but for Wellsie. She made me, and she was right. He formally reclaimed me on his deathbed. Im not sure why it was so important to him, but there you go.
What about Darius? I have not seen him around
He was killed by the enemy. Just before Wellsie was. As she gasped and put her hand to her mouth, he nodded. Its been hell, really.
You are all alone, she said in a small voice.
I have my brothers.
Do you let them in.
With a short laugh, he shook his head. You are hells bells with the rhetoricals, you know that?
I am sorry, I
No, dont apologize. He put the quill back in its holder. I like talking to you.
As he heard the surprise in his own voice, he laughed harshly. Man, Im just making all kinds of charm points with you tonight, arent I. Slapping his thighs to end their conversation, he got to his feet with the help of the crutch. Listen, I also came here to do a little research. Do you know where the library is? Damned if I can find it.
Yes, of course. As she stood, she swept that hood up over her head again. I shall take you there.
While she went past him, he frowned. Youre limping worse than usual. Did you get hurt?
No. When I move around too much, it aches.
We could take care of that down belowManello is
Thank you, but no.
Tohr threw out a hand and stopped her before she went out the door. The hood. Leave it down, please. When she didnt respond, he said, Theres no one here but us. Youre safe.
FOURTEEN
As John Matthew stood on the shores of the Hudson River about fifteen minutes north of downtown Caldwell, he felt like he was a thousand miles away from everyone.
At his back, he had the prevailing breeze as well as a small hunting cabin that, if you didnt know what it was, youd write off as something not worth the effort to knock over. The place was a fortress, however, with steel-reinforced walls, an impenetrable roof, bulletproof windows and enough firepower in its garage to make half the population of the city see God up close and personal.
He had assumed Xhex would come here. Been so convinced, he hadnt bothered to track her.
But she wasnt
A flare of headlights off to the right brought his head around. A car was coming down the lane, slowly approaching the cabin.
John frowned as he got an earful of the engine: low, deep, a mean growl.
That was no Hyundai or Honda. Couldnt be a Harley, too smooth.
Whatever the hell it was meandered by and kept going, all the way to the tip of the point where that big-ass house had been put up. A few moments later, lights began to go on inside the mansion, illumination pouring out of its curved porches and stacked, three-story straightaways.
Damn thing looked like a spaceship about to take off.
Not his biz. And it was time to go, anyway.
With a mute curse, he scattered his molecules and zeroed in on the armpit of Caldie, that stretch of bars, strip clubs, and tattoo places down around Trade Street.
The Iron Mask had been Rehvenges second club, a dance/sex/drug facility created to cater to a Goth demographic unserviced by his first establishment, ZeroSumwhich had had more of a Eurotrash kind of vibe.
There was a line to get inalways wasbut the two bouncers, Big Rob and Silent Tom, recognized him and let him in ahead of everyone else.
Velvet drapes, deep-seated couches, black lights women in black leather with white makeup and hair extensions down to their asses men clustered in groups, strategizing on how to get laid moody music with lyrics that made you think fondly of eating a bullet.
But maybe that was just his mood.
And she was here. He could sense his blood in Xhex, and he headed through the crowd, zeroing in on the signal.
As he got to the unmarked door that led into the staff-only part of the club, Trez stepped out of the shadows. Natch.
Whats doing, the Shadow said, offering his palm.
The two clapped a grip, knocked shoulders, and slapped each others backs.
You here to talk to her? When John nodded, the guy opened the door. I gave her the office beside the locker room next to me. Go on backshes just checking her staff reports
The Shadow stopped abruptly, but hed said enough.
Jesus Christ
Ah, yeah, shes back there, the guy muttered, like he was sooo staying out of this one.
John ducked in and strode down the corridor. When he got to a closed door, he didnt see a sign with her name on it, but wondered how long that would last.
And he knocked, even though she had to know he was here.
When she called out, he pushed in
Xhex was in the far corner, bent over and pulling at something on the floor. As she looked up with a glare, she froze; which told him that, in fact, she hadnt noticed hed arrived.
Great. She was so into her new old job, shed forgotten about him already.
Ah hey. Glancing back down, she resumed what she was doing, yanking at
An extension cord whipped out from underneath the file cabinet, the sharp-toothed end going flying.
Before it ripped around and caught her a good one, he leaped forward, snatched a hold on the thing, and took the hit himself, the sting of pain lighting off on his rib cage.
Thanks, she said as he handed it over and stepped away. It was jammed back there.
So youre going to work here now?
Yeah. I am. I dont think that other option is realistic. Andher eyes got hardif you try to tell me I cant
God, Xhex, this is not what we are. He motioned back and forth over the desk that separated them. This is not us.
Actually, I guess it is, because were here, arent we.
I dont want to stop you from fighting
But you have. Lets not pretend otherwise. Xhex sat down in the office chair and leaned back, a squeak rising up. Now that you and I are mated, the Brothers, even your king, take their cues from youno, wait, Im not finished. She closed her eyes as if exhausted. Just let me talk this out. I know they respect me, but they respect a mated males prerogative over his shellan more. Its not specific to the Brotherhoodits the very fabric of vampire society, and no doubt its because a bonded male is a dangerous animal. You cant change that, and I cant live like that, so yeah, this is where we are.
I can talk to them, make them
Theyre not the root problem.
John felt a sudden urge to punch a wall. I can change.
Abruptly her shoulders dropped, and her eyes, those gunmetal gray eyes, grew stark. I dont think you can, John. And neither can I. Im not going to sit home and wait for you to come back at dawn every night.
Im not asking you to do that.
Good, because Im not going back to the mansion. As John felt the blood drain out of his head, she cleared her throat. You know, that whole bonding thing I know you cant help it. I was pissed off when I left, but Ive been thinking it over ever since then, and Shit, I know if you could feel different, be different, you would. The reality is, though, we could spend another miserable couple of months figuring that out, and learn to hate each other in the processand I dont want that. You dont want that.
So youre done with me, he signed. Is that it?
No! I dont know I mean, fuck. She threw her hands up. What else am I going to do? Im so frustrated with you, with me, with everythingIm not sure Im even talking any sense.
John frowned, finding himself in the same tough spot she was in. Where was the middle road?
There is more to us than this, he signed.
I want to believe that, she said sadly. I really do.
On impulse, he walked around the desk and stood over her. Gripping the armrest, he turned the chair toward him and put out both his palms, offering them to her.
There was no demand. No aggression. She would choose or not choose.
After a moment, Xhex placed her hands in his, and when he pulled her up, she didnt fight him.
Slipping his arms around her, he brought her closeand then moving with power, he bent her off balance, holding her in his powerful arms, keeping her from the floor.
With eyes boring into hers, he brought their lips together once, briefly. When she didnt slap him, kick him in the nuts, or bite him, he dropped his head and took her mouth properly, plying her to open for him.
When she did, he melded her body to his and kissed the ever-living shit out of her. One of his hands ended up on her ass, squeezing; the other got clamped on the back of her neck. As a groan came up her throat, he knew hed proved his point.
Although he had no immediate solution to the bonded-male situation, he knew this connection between them was a for-sure, in a world that had suddenly seemed filled with maybe-not.
He stopped the kiss. He put her back down where she had been sitting. He went to the door.
Text me when you want to see me again, he signed. Im giving you your space, but know this: I will wait forever for you.
* * *
Good thing for the chair, Xhex thought as the door closed behind John.
Yeah, wow. Whatever her head was cramped up with, her body was as fluid and easy as warm air.
She still wanted him. And hed made his point. They did fit togetherat least like that.
Holy hell, did they fit together.
Shit, what to do now?
Well, one idea would be to text him to come back, lock them in together, and break in her new office improperly.
She even reached for her phone.
In the end, however, she texted something altogether different.