The few people assembled in the square began to disperse in fear. One lady hitched up her skirts and quickly ran off. Two men meandered toward the church as if they were taking an afternoon stroll.
I swung toward the guards, wondering if I would need to shoot dealan-dé to scare them off.
Dont curse us! one of them said, covering his face with his hands. We mean you no harm!
I thought you were about to hang me? I asked.
The heavyset guard shook his head. Well not lay a finger on you, as long as you promise not to practice your sorcery on us.
All right, then... I cast them a fierce look. Begone, before I turn you into toads or peahens.
They hurried off, not even looking back. I crossed my arms over my belly, aware of the tingling power inside me. My spell had worked. I knew I should feel jubilantelated! Instead, I felt only a compulsion to leave the scene of my trial.
By the Goddess, I cannot believe I am walking away from my own execution, I said as Kyra and I strode through the town. I was beyond feeling relief as I walked stiffly down the lane.
So you really did cast a spell? she asked wonderingly.
Indeed, and by the grace of the Goddess, she fulfilled it.
Many say it wasnt the Goddess, she said quietly. Some say it was dark magick. A huge taibhs.
I sighed. Let their tongues wag. The spell I cast was just a return of all the evil Siobhan had sent my way, threefold.
Kyra nodded, but I could tell she wasnt convinced. Let her be, I thought. She had always been näive. Someday she would understand.
As I walked home, I was surprised at the respect paid me by passersby. A man with a cart offered me a ride, and two passing ladies actually bowed before me. I knew they had heard of the fires, which had quickly turned me into a local legend, it seemed. I had always known of my powers, but for once it was nice to have others acknowledge my gifts.
When I reached the cottage, I found Síle sitting at the table, staring off at nothingness.
Are you all right, Ma?
She looked up at me, startled, as though she were seeing a ghost. Slowly she shook her head, pointing a finger at me. My fury and disappointment know no bounds. Have you any idea what you have unleashed?
Twas a spell, I said simply. A spell against my persecutorsthose who would have taken the life of my baby!
No evil action deserves the black magick you conjured. I have never seen anything like itnever! You have caused a split in our coven, some arguing that you created the spell in your own defense. But they are wrong. My ma tried to sniff back tears. You have created a horrible evil, Rose. Your spell ushers in the advent of a very dark time. A terrible reign of darkness! I have seen it! Her voice broke in a sob, and she rested her head in her hands, shaking.
I folded my arms, unable to comfort her. You make it sound as if I were a selfish child. I did not create the spell just for myself. I was acting for all Wodebaynes. This is the type of vengeance our clan needs.
Ma shook her head. No, Rose. There is nothing anyone could have done to warrant this horrible violence. You didnt only hurt Siobhanyou destroyed her entire family! Her entire coven! And all of the villagers of LillipoolVykrothes, Leapvaughns, and Christians alike. You burned little children and women expecting bairns, like yourself.
I didnt. I didnt mean for that to happen, but
Oh, dear Goddess! Síle wailed. How could my daughter, my own flesh and blood, be capable of such evil?
I sat down on my bed in disbelief. She didnt understand, and I didnt have the strength to enlighten her. I did not enjoy seeing her in pain like this, though I truly thought she was being overly dramatic.
It must be Gowans blood, she muttered. Your actions make it clear. The evil must have started with him, dabbling in dark magick like a foolish child who knows no better. The man always did want to take the easy road. He must have planted the seed of evil, and now youve nurtured it. She took a deep breath and collapsed into sobs once again.
Tis not so, I said, touching her shoulder. In time you will understand
I will not! Ma winced, pulling away from me. Time will not heal this wound, Rose, and you may not remain under this roof for even a single night. She steeled herself, fixing me with a scowl. You are not my daughter anymore. I do not care where you go, but I never want to see you again.
Beneath my overriding numbness, I felt the last vestige of hope crushed within me. My mother was abandoning me. My baby and I would have no one in the world, no safe harbor. Only each another.
My mouth felt dry as I moved about the cottage, gathering up my meager belongings. How would it feel never to return here? To have no one to watch over me, to console me over night visions? No one to see that I got enough to eat or had a place to sleep? No one to teach me new spells? No one to help me care for the coming child? Fear tightened my chest at the prospect of walking out the door. fear and dread. My mother was the last vestige of my old life, and I longed to cling to her.
But I had no choice. Ma would not have me. She watched me pack like a hawk waiting to pounce.
When I had everything in a satchel, I turned to her. Ill say good-bye, I told her, but surely we will meet again?
She turned her head away and staved me off with one hand. I cannot bear to lay eyes upon you, she said. Just begone!
Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat, I stepped out the door and ventured into the woods. I had nowhere to go but my sacred circle, and even that seemed tainted by the hands of Diarmuid. Still, I swept the circle and raised my hands to the Goddess.
I have a need that must be met, I said. I beg You, Goddess, that I obtain a home, a place to live for me and my babe to come. I stood there under the hazy sky, wondering where I would go. Goddess, I know You do not intend for me and my child to starve.
I thought of my mother, cursing her weakness. She has never understood my powers, Goddess. I had always believed that someday I would inherit Mas stature as high priestess of our coven. but now it was not to be. Perhaps it is envy, I said aloud.
But there was no one to answer. Letting my hands drop to my sides, I realized that this circle had truly lost its magic for me. I packed my tools in my satchel, then set fire to my broom. I swept the wide circle with the flaming broom, wiping it all away. The Goddess would no longer visit this part of the woods. The magick was now gone from the stone altar, the green moss, and the tree that had once served as a Beltane maypole.
Once the circle was broken, I took my satchel and walked down the road. I decided to walk to Lillipool to witness the harvest of my spell. I walked as if in a daze until I reached a section of the woods that was now charred black and nearly empty, as if the trees and cottage there had simply melted into the earth.
I paused, pinching my nose against the smoking ash. What had stood here? I could not remember. I pressed closer, realizing that the striated rows of ash were charred skeletons. Three skeletons pressed against a door. Had they been unable to escape in time? I pressed my hands to my mouth, horrified at the thought. To imagine a sudden fire, the choking smoke, the need to get out before the flames swept over you.
Closing my eyes, I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the sting in my throat. Twas destruction at the hands of the Goddess, I told myself, and she smites evil. These villagers may have been nothing to me, but surely they were evil?
I didnt feel ready to see more, yet I felt compelled to walk on, past yet another and another scene of the fire, now merely a blackened square upon the earth. When I reached the river, I had a vague sense that the mill had once stood here, with cottages all around. But now I stood amid a smoky landscape of embers, an endless horizon of ash and blackened earth.
So mote it be, I said aloud to ward off any doubts I had over the devastation surrounding me.
Down the lane of ashes I saw the charred skeletons of three children lined up, as if prepared for burial rites. I thought of the children Id seen playing in the dusty square when Id come to Lillipool to see Diarmuid. A pang of regret tightened in my breast, but again I told myself twas the Goddesss will. Were not these children being groomed in the bigoted ways of their clans?
I moved toward the center of what was once Lillipool. The charred skin of a mans hand reached out from a fallen window ledge, though there was no body to be seen. Stepping around it, I shuddered and rubbed my belly.Tis a gruesome sight, I said aloud. But surely he was an evildoer.
Even the dusty village square had been transformed to thick, dark ash. Ashes of bones and buildings, embers of my enemies dreams and hatred.
So much hatred.
Yet I could feel neither jubilation over the success of my spell nor sorrow for the lives lost upon this doomed patch of the Highlands. The Goddess had pushed me beyond feeling, beyond tears.
Walk. Breathe. Rest. My strength was focused on the simplest matters right now, the need to survive and care for my baby. See here the fruits of your spell, the Goddess was telling me. Witness and learn, for the destruction wrought here is the result of your summons.
Near the river sat a row of buildings that had not completely burned, but only collapsed into ash. Mayhap the people in them had used the water of the river to fend off the fire? I stepped near one sagging doorway and peered inside. The bodies here were not completely charred, and perhaps they were worse for their rotting stench, their distinguishable features. Was that the tinker? And the children.
I turned away, wanting only to see the corpses of those most deserving.
I walked into a tangle of smoking embers that I thought to be Diarmuids cottage. Kicking at a gray ashen stump, I thought of the hungry look in Diarmuids eyes the night before. His denial of our love, his retreat from the Goddesss plan. Goddess, please grant me that my child will not have those eyes, those lustful, glittery eyes.
The ash below my shoe crunched apart, lowering me into a burning ember. I stomped out the heat, then noticed two skeletons, their charred limbs entwined.
Could it be Diarmuid and. and Siobhan?
Was this the spot where they had died?
I climbed over the ashes to study the skeletons. A gold ring was still wrapped around one of the charred finger bonesDiarmuids ring. I pressed my lips together, feeling a sting as I understood that the burned girl was Siobhan.
Twould be the last time she hurt me.
I reached down and snapped the ring off Diarmuids charred finger bone. I would save it for my child. I wont tell your daughter the truth about you, I told him, then thought better of it. How many years had I tried to pry the truth about Da from Ma? Or mayhap Ill tell her everything. every sordid detail of your weak and cowardly character.
I laughed, realizing that Diarmuid no longer had any power in this life. Lifting my gown, I gazed upon the marking that I had branded on my belly. The pentagram was there, inverted. I blinked in awe. I had branded it so that I could look down and see itbut that meant the star shape was actually upside down upon my belly. An inverted pentagram was a legendary symbol for the harnessing of evil, though Id never before used it.
I pressed Diarmuids ring against my own inverted marking. Somehow it brought me a dark pleasure, and I was glad to feel something even if it was a bitter end.
Tis your heritage, I told my child. The inverted pentagram, the dark spell, the dark wave, the origin of our redemption. This will be the spell I pass on to you to protect you and yours for all time.
The babe gave a hearty kick, and I lowered my gown. Twas time to rest, but I could not find comfort here in this landscape of charred ruin. I tucked the ring into a satchel on my belt and moved on.
Instead of heading back to my own village, I kept going east, past the burned bog and heather that had surrounded Siobhans house. I paid no homage to the smoking remains there as I walked past, my sights set on a distant village where I might find lodging at an inn.
I came to a fork in the road and decided to continue east, to the place where the sun rose. Just beyond the fork someone called my name. I turned to find Aislinn waving at me, her red hair flying as she ran to catch up with me. Her energy seemed jarring in the silent woods, the site of so much recent destruction.
Rose! Rose! It was you, wasnt it? Did you see the ruin? Her face was lit with a predatory smile. Your spell wiped them out, the whole lot of them! By the Goddess, we really showed them! It will be a long time before anyone else crosses a Wodebayne.
I rocked back on my heels, weary but relieved that Aislinn understood.
You must be filled with wonder at what youve accomplished.
I cant say that I am, I admitted, wishing that I could summon some emotion.
Well, then I am proud on your behalf, Aislinn said. Your dark wave of a spell has put an end to our persecution. You have altered our fate, Rose. Nevermore will we be downtrodden, nevermore the outcasts.
My ma does not agree, I said. Shes banished me from our coven.
Síle is a foolish woman, Aislinn said. She has no vision, no courage. Did you know that many of us had already abandoned her coven, long before last night? Coveners were tiring of Síles failure to take action. Weve begun to have our own circle in the woods east of here, near a village called Druinden. Though sometimes we flounder. We havent really found a high priestess with the power to summon the Goddess.
Really? I felt bolstered by this news. Perhaps I had not been abandoned as Id thought. Perhaps it was Síle who was wrong. Perhaps she had been denying the ways of the Goddess, and that was why I was here traveling down this unknown road with barely a stitch to my name.
Is that where youre headed? Aislinn asked. Druinden?
I suppose, if I can get a room at the inn there. I felt awkward revealing myself to Aislinn, yet I suspected she knew my entire story already. Ive not only been banished from the coven, but also from the cottage. And. you probably know, Im with child.
Dont even think of the inn! she insisted, her face flushing with pride. You must stay with my sister and me! Its my fathers cottage, but hes off at sea most of the time. And you mustnt worry about the bairn. The Goddess will provide. Especially if you decide you want to be high priestess of the new coven. Of course, the others must agree, but how could they not see your power? The whole village of Druinden knows of the dark wave. Ill wager everyone from here to Londinium knows. That spell has made you the high priestess of the Highlands.
I hardly felt like royalty, shuffling down that long road upon my aching feet. At the moment all I wanted was a place to rest and a pitcher of water to wash the smell of death from me. Wash away the soot, and the grime, and the bitter memory of betrayal.
14. Samhain
Tis time to leave the light and enter the darkness, I said from the center of the circle. My coveners gathered around me, listening intently as their new high priestess spoke the words of the Samhain rite. I plunge the blade of my athame deep into the heart of my enemy, I said, lowering my athame into a goblet of wine held by Aislinn.
Plunge the blade, let evil die, they chanted, circling around me.
I went over to the ceremonial fire and stirred it with a stick until embers flew through the darkness. I stoke the fires of vengeance and point the wrath of the Goddess toward their evil.
Stoke the fires, let evil die, they chanted.
I stood naked before them, the round ripeness of my body so befitting the harvest ritual. The coveners were also unclad, and I noticed that a few others had taken to branding their bellies with the inverted pentagram. Aislinn had done it first, inspired by the marking on my belly, which had healed but was now a deep browna permanent sign of the powerful spell I had created.
Around my neck I wore a necklace with the amber stone Kyra had charged for me along with jet black beads to signify my position as high priestess. I had not seen Kyra or my mother since the day after the dark wave. At times tales of Síles coven trickled into our circle, and I listened with interest, despite the fact that I knew I would never see my mother again. I realized now how she had tried to undermine my strength, depriving me of the power the Goddess intended me to wield.
I touched the golden stone at my neck, wondering if Kyra knew the power of her charm. Amber was also an excellent protector of children and a spell strengthener, and I often held the charmed stone close to my breast in anticipation of the birthing rite. My child would be here before Imbolc, I knew it. I had enjoyed visions of hera tiny bundle in my arms as I knelt before Aislinn, summoning the Goddesss power through the lighting of the candles in the crown upon my head.
Let us reenact the great event of our year, I said, moving to the side of the circle, the dark wave.
Aislinn led the dance, playing me as I crafted the spell in my prison cell. Other coveners played the forces of earth, wind, water, and fire. As I watched the dancers move, leaping in the air and dipping to the ground, I thought of the hours I had spent schooling my coveners in the elements of the dark wave. We planned to cast the spell over the Burnhydes to the north, for they had been stealing sheep from Wodebayne herders repeatedly. Twas unforgivable, the way they committed crime with abandon. They must be stopped, Aislinn said often. And we have the power to do it.
The dark wave.
The coveners had proven to be apt students of the grave spell. Already they had collected hair and fingernails from Burnhydes for use in the magick.
My baby shifted inside me, and I smiled. Aye, little one, you will learn the spell, too. I will pass it on to you. It is your legacy.
When the drama before me ended, I arose and held my hands up to the Goddess. I fell into deep darkness, I said. I greeted death. I tore the velvet darkness of everlasting light. Ablaze with glory, I was reborn. Now the old year ends.
The new year begins! the coveners responded. Plunge the blade! Stoke the fires!
I went to the center of the circle, saying: Their evil shall burn their own funeral pyres!
The coveners danced around me, chanting: Plunge the blade! Stoke the fires!
I felt the power of the Goddess swirl around us. Aye, we were nearly ready to send the dark wave, so mote it be. Welcome, new year, farewell, strife. From fiery embers arises life.
Plunge the blade! Stoke the fires...
Epilogue
Hunter and I still sat silently on the couch. Plunge the blade! Stoke the fires! The words kept running through my head, like a mantra. This girl, this young, seventeen-year-old girl. I tried to imagine going through what she went through. Would I have reacted the same way?
Morgan?
I realized that Hunter was looking at me with concern. His hand lay on my arm. He seemed to be waiting for me to respond. Had he asked me a question? I shook my head, trying to clear it, and then reached for my cold chamomile tea. Yes, I said quietly. When I raised the cup to my lips, I realized that my face was wet with tears.
Morgan, are you all right?
I looked down at the closed book. Rose MacEwan, I thought, my ancestor. The creator of the dark wave. How was it possible? But I knew, I realized almost immediately, with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remembered the few times I had practiced dark magickshape-shifting with Ciaran. Weather magick with my half brother Killian. It had felt so right, pure, and natural. Hunter realized it, too, I thoughtwhen strange things had started happening at our circles, he had believed it was me. Rose could have been me, I thought with sickening clarity. We were so alike: blood relatives. I could have been Rose.
Hunter had knelt on the floor before me, and he sat now with his hands on my knees, begging me to speak.
No, I said softly, shaking my head. I dont know what I am.
Hunter looked up at me, his eyes warm with concern. I could see pain there, pain at seeing me cry. Oh, Goddess, he loved me, without tricks or reservations. What he had done with Justine seemed so trivial now.
He sat back on the couch, reached out, and folded me into his arms. I didnt resist. She didnt know, love. She didnt know what she was doing.
But she still did it. I shivered involuntarily, thinking of Rose and Diarmuidshe had been so sure of their love, as sure as I had been wasof Hunters. And look where it had led. The same place my birth parents love had ledto death, destruction, and misery.
I looked up at Hunters facethe face that I dreamed of, the face that I believed to be there for me. Only me. I reached up and touched Hunters cheekmy mùirn beatha dàn. Even his parents love had led to hurtabandoning their children, Hunters father hurting himself in an attempt to recreate what they had had after his loves death.
I know you, love. Youre not like Rose. Youve chosen good. Hunter whispered, stroking my hair.
I nodded, wanting to believe him. But as a daughter of such dark origins, I could only hope that he was right.