Right, then, Hunter said. He can sleep in the living room with me and Robbie.
Oh, joy, Killian caroled.
Robbie dug out another green stuff sack from the mound of gear in the living room and tossed it to him. Killian caught the air mattress, then dropped it on the floor and fixed his gaze on Raven. I knew wed meet again. How about if you and I sneak off for a quick pint, get to know each other better?
Thats enough, Sky said.
Killian shrugged and grinned at me. Touchy bunch you hang out with. Everyone always taking offense. Are you as bad as the rest of them?
Are you playing us off against each other? I asked, not able to muster quite as much outrage as I should have. There was just something about him that appealed to me. I felt like we were coconspirators. It was a completely alien feeling for me, but I liked it.
Killians grin grew even wider. Well, it would provide a little drama.
Oh, I think you have plenty of drama in your life, Hunter said. Anyway, youre not going anywhere tonight. I worked too hard to find youIm not going to risk you running off or getting captured.
As if you knew anything about it, Killian said with contempt.
Would you excuse us for a minute? I said, motioning for Hunter and Sky to follow me into the study for a quick huddle.
I think you all ought to go out and leave me here with Killian, I said.
Are you mad? Hunter demanded.
He and I kind ofget along, I said. I dont understand it, I added quickly, but hes not flirting with me, the way he does with Raven. Bree and Sky both flat-out dislike him. And Hunter, the two of you just irritate each other. I think I might be able to get him to talk if youll all just leave us here.
Its too dangerous Hunter began.
I know hes a pain, I said, but I dont sense any real danger from him.
Morgan can take care of herself, you know, said Sky. And its true. Killian doesnt have that antagonistic streak with her, while I think the rest of us could cheerfully strangle him.
All right, Hunter agreed at last. But Im going to be in the coffee shop in the building. If anything feels dangerous or even a little bit dodgy, I want you to send me a message immediately.
I gave Hunter my word, and five minutes later Killian and I were alone in the apartment. We sat on opposite ends of the couch, watching each other. I tried to figure out why I liked someone so obnoxious. It wasnt sexual attraction. It was something else, something equally as strong. Despite his being clearly amoral and self-centered, there was something oddly lovable about Killian. Maybe it was that he genuinely seemed to like me.
Are you all right? he asked. The gentleness in his voice took me by surprise.
Why wouldnt I be?
I dont know, Killian said. I dont know you very well, do I? But I sense youre feeling weaker than youre used to. Drained, maybe.
Be wary of him, I told myself. Im just tired, I said.
Right, its been a long day. He glanced at the green stuff sack on the floor. I could turn in, I suppose, behave myself and make the Seeker happy.
Hes just trying to protect you, I said.
Anger flickered in Killians dark eyes. I never asked for protection.
You need it, I said. Your own father is trying to kill you.
Killian waved his hand. The Seeker was going on about the same thing. Let me tell you, right? Its not likely my dad would go after me. Hes got much bigger fish to fry, as the saying goes. Killian looked over his shoulder at the kitchen. Now, theres one thing the States is lacking, a good fish-and-chips joint. I could use some right now, in fact.
Youre out of luck, I said testily. Back to the subject. Your father is the leader of Amyranth?
Killian got up and walked over to the window. He leaned his palms against the sill and stared out into the darkness. My dad is a very powerful witch. I respect his power. Id be a bloody madman not to. I stay out of his way. Hes got no reason to want me dead.
He hadnt answered the question, I noticed with interest. What about your mother? I asked.
Killian laughed mirthlessly and turned to face me. Grania? The birds got generations of magick in her blood, but does she appreciate it? Not at all. She gets her real power from being a victim. No matter what happens, she suffers. Nobly, dramatically, and loudly. I tell you, I completely understand why my dad left that house. I couldnt wait to get out myself.
So you came to New York to be with him? I asked.
No, he said. I knew he was here, of course. And there were certainconnections for me in the city because of him. But Dads a heartless bastard. Were not what you would call close. He polished off his soda and looked at me. What about you? Whats your story?
I shrugged, not wanting to lie about myself, but knowing I shouldnt tell him anything of my real story.
Youre a blood witch, he stated.
I nodded. That much I couldnt hide from him.
Quite powerful, I can sense that, he went on. And for reasons that are unfathomable to me, youre quite fond of that bore of a Seeker.
Thats enough, I said sharply.
Killian laughed. Right. Didnt take me long to find your sore point, did it?
Are you always this much fun? I asked, irritated.
Killian put his hand over his heart and looked to the ceiling. May the gods strike me dead, he said with mock solemnity. Always.
If you werent running from your father, then who were you running from? I asked, unable to give it up. And dont tell me you werent running.
He looked at me again. All of a sudden the mirth went out of his eyes. All right, he said, leaning forward. Its like this. I dont really believe the Seeker is right about me being an Amyranth target, he went on in a hushed voice. On the other hand, it is true that Amyranth isnt exactly pleased with me. See, Id all but joined the coven. Never went through with the initiation, but I was in deep enough to learn some of their secrets, the minor ones at least. Then Idecided that I didnt want to join. But Amyranth isnt the sort of coven you just walk out on. And my dad took the defection a bit personally.
It sounds like it took courage to defect, I said, genuinely starting to like him. What made you do it?
Killian gave another of his casual shrugs. I just wasnt into their whole agenda.
Why not? Finally, I thought, we were getting somewhere.
But he just winked at me. Too much homework, he said with a laugh. Took up all my quality time. New York is a blast. Dont you think its kind of a waste to spend all your time feeling like one of the witches in a bad production of Macbeth?
I couldnt tell anymore if Killian was being honest or just playing with me. I think
I never finished my sentence because suddenly my witch senses were on red alert, shrieking in alarm. Killian felt it, too. He was on his feet in an instant, his gaze sweeping the apartment.
What the hell is that? I whispered. The sense of menace was so sharp, it was almost physical.
Someones trying to get into the apartment, he said.
Instantly I sent a message to Hunter. Then I ran to the video monitor in the hall and pressed the button for the doorman. Did anyone come past you? I asked him, trying to keep my voice normal. Did you send anyone up to this apartment?
Bollocks to that, Killian muttered. He peered through the peephole in the door and did a scan of the hallway. No one there, he reported a moment later. His face was pale. But someone is definitely paying attention to us. Someone unfriendly.
Something thumped hard against the living room window, and I jumped about a foot in the air. Killian and I both spun around. I got a brief impression of feathers in motion.
Oh, thank God! I said, weak with relief. It was only a pigeon. I thought someone was trying to climb in the window.
The front door flew open, and Hunter burst in. What is it? he asked breathlessly.
I ran to him. Someones out there, I said, resisting the urge to bury my face in his chest. Someones watching us.
What? His eyes widened. Tell me what happened.
My words tumbled over one another as I told him how Killian and I had both felt the hostile attention, how wed been unable to pin down where it was coming from or who it was. Killian didnt say anything, just nodded every now and then. His face was still pale, but I figured that was normal, after what wed sensed.
Looking grim, Hunter began to prowl through the apartment. I could tell that his senses were fully extended, and I felt something else besidesprobably some Seeker spell he was using to get the danger to reveal itself.
Nothing, he said, walking back into the living room. Which doesnt mean that there wasnt something very real trying to get in. Only that whatever it was seems to be gone now. He looked at Killian. Anything else you noticed that might help us?
Killian shook his head. No. Nothing, he said, sounding almost angry. Then he added abruptly, Look, Im knackered. Im going to sleep. Ignoring the air mattress, he stretched out on the couch and rolled over, presenting his back to us.
A moment later the door opened again and the rest of our group came into the apartment. Apparently they had gone to some club where a terrible band was playing and everyone else was in their fifties. There was a good deal of loud discussion of just whose bad idea it had been. Throughout it Killian lay on the couch, eyes closed. He seemed to be asleep, though I didnt see how it was really possible, given the noise level in the room.
After a few moments I retreated to the guest room and crawled into bed. It had been a long day, and in spite of everything on my mind, I fell asleep quickly.
When I woke just before ten the next morning, Hunter was cursing.
Killian was gone.
9. Connections
November 11, 1981
I thought it would get easier. Isnt time supposed to heal all wounds? And if not time, what about the healing rituals our clan has used for hundreds of years?
Why is it that I see Maeves face when I wake and when I sleep and when I lie in bed with Grania? Maeve, behind every door, around every corner, in every invocation to the Goddess? There is no longer any joy for me in this world. Even my own children cannot hold my interest or attention, and thats probably a kindness. If I really let myself see them, I see them as the things that made Maeve reject me. If not for them, she and I would be together now. I cant forget her. And I cant have her. And the rage does not ebb.
Its funny. Fat, old Greer, of all people, was the one who saw what was happening. She didnt mince words. Your soul is sickening and your heart shriveling, she told me. Theres a black, twisted thing inside you. So use it, boy.
At first I was so out of my mind with pain, I didnt understand what she meant. It was not hard to figure out, though. Who better to call on dark magick than one whose own soul has sunk into darkness?
Neimhidh
Hunter was staring out the living room window at a leaden winter sky, his jaw tight with frustration. Raven was still sleeping, and Robbie had gone out to get bagels.
Bree sat cross-legged on the living room floor, doing a yoga stretch. Look, I know youre trying to protect Killian, but personally, Im not sure his being gone is such a loss.
From the couch Sky said, I know what you mean.
Hunters eyes focused on me. I want to go over what happened last night when you and Killian sensed that hostile presence. I know you think you told me everything, but tell me again. Even the littlest details, no matter how unimportant they might seem.
I sat down on the couch. We were in the living room, just talking, when we both felt a presence. Killian said something was trying to get into the apartment. I sent that message to you then, and we both searched with our senses. Then I went to the intercom and called the doorman to see if hed seen anyone. Killian did a scan of the hallway. And then there was a big thump at the window that nearly scared us both to death
You didnt mention anything about a thump last night, Hunter said sharply.
Thats because was it nothing. Just a pigeon. And then right after that you showed up.
Hunter frowned. A pigeon?
What? I said. Whats wrong?
Pigeons arent nocturnal, Hunter said. He looked tense. What exactly did you see?
I felt a stirring of alarm. Um, it was just a blur. Feathers. Brown and gray, I think. About this big. I held up my hands to make a shape the size of a large cantaloupe.
Thats too big to be a pigeon, Hunter said instantly. I suspect it was an owl.
My mouth went dry. You mean
He nodded. I mean one of the shape-shifters from Amyranth.
There was a long silence. I tried to still the flutterings of terror in my stomach.
At least we can be reasonably sure we were right about Killian being their target, Hunter said. Obviously Amyranth followed him here.
He knew, I said, suddenly understanding why Killian was so subdued after the pigeon incident. He didnt tell us, but Im sure he knew exactly what it was.
Hunter blew out a long breath. Now the question is whether Killian cut out on his own or whether Amyranth somehow managed to spirit him away. But it all comes down to the same thing. Somehow weve got to find him before anything happens to him.
I thought about Ciarans watch, wondering if we could somehow use it to figure out where Ciaran was. Hunter, I said, feeling nervous. I need to show you something. Come with me for a minute.
Bree and Sky both gave me questioning looks as Hunter followed me into the guest room. Wishing Id been straight with him from the start, I took the watch from my jacket pocket and handed it to him.
One blond eyebrow arched as he unwrapped the green silk covering. Where did you get this? he asked, his eyes unreadable.
I told him the whole story then.
Hunter listened silently. Then for an endless stretch he just looked at me. I didnt need my witch senses to know that Id disappointed himby acting so rashly, by having kept the whole thing secret from him, especially once I knew Ciaran was the Amyranth leader.
Im sorry, I said. I should have told you.
Yes. You should have. He sounded weary. Nevertheless, the watch might be a valuable aid. Lets see if it will help us. He wound the stem a few turns. Since youre connected to Maeve and it was hers, you need to be the one to hold it.
I took the watch from him and held it in my hand. Intuitively we both slipped into a meditative state, focusing on the rhythm of the watchs ticking.
Hunter chanted a few words in Gaelic. A spell to make visible the energies of those who once held the watch dear, he explained.
I felt a warmth along the watchs golden case and a rush of tenderness wound through with what Id come to recognize as my mothers energy.
Maeve cherished it, I told Hunter.
He sketched a rune in the air, and I recognized Peorth, the rune for hidden things revealed. What else? he asked.
Something flickered along the surface of the shiny, gold case. A bit of green. Maeves wide green eyes, then her russet-colored hair. I felt my throat go thick with tears. The last time Id seen a vision of Maeve, it had been of her trapped in the burning barn. Dying.
Here she stood in an open field, her eyes lit with joy and love. The image changed. This time it showed Maeve in what must have been her bedroom. A small space tucked under the eaves with a narrow bed covered by a brightly colored quilt. Maeve stood in a white nightgown, gazing from her window at the moon, a look of yearning on her face. I was sure she was thinking about Ciaran.
Now show me Ciaran, I entreated the watch silently. But there was only Maeve, and her image lasted just a moment before fading away.
I looked up at Hunter. Not much help, Im afraid. Just my mother from back before I was born.
Are you okay? he asked.
I nodded, wrapped the watch back in its green silk, and returned it to my jacket pocket.
Well, theres one more thing I can try, Hunter said. He reached into his back pocket and drew out what looked like a playing card, only on it was an image of the Virgin Mary, shown with a spiky golden halo and a little angel over her head.
The Virgin of Guadalupe, Hunter explained. When I finally found Killian in the abandoned building last night, I found this in there with him. Ive traced it to its source.
Huh? I wasnt following this at all.
Hunter smiled. Want to come with me and see where he got it?
My day suddenly looked brighter. I was going to spend it with Hunter!
In the living room we had a brief confab about plans for the day. Sky and Raven were going to the Cloisters. Bree and Robbie were still undecided. We were all going to meet that night for our one real restaurant splurge.
Hunter and I walked across town to the West Village. Hunter led the way to a small store just west of Hudson Street. The shops crowded window was filled with candles in colored glass jars, crosses, rosaries, statues of the saints, gazing crystals, herbs, oils, and powders. We stepped inside, and I smelled an odd blend: frankincense and rosemary, musk and myrrh.
This is weird, I whispered to Hunter. It feels like a cross between an outlet for church goods and a Wiccan store.
The woman who runs this place is a curandera, Hunter explained in a low voice. A Mexican white witch. Central American witchcraft often has a good deal of Christian symbolism mixed in with the Wicca. He rang a bell on the counter. My eyes widened as a beautiful, dark-haired woman stepped out from the back room. It was the witch from the club, the one whod told me that I needed to heal my own heart.
Buenos días, she said. Her eyes lingered on me, and there was a silent moment in which we each recognized and acknowledged each other. Can I help you?
Hunter held out the card with the Virgin on it. Is this from your shop?
She studied it for a moment, then gazed up at him. Sí. I sometimes give these cards to those in need of protection. How did you trace it to me?
It carries the pattern of your energy.
Most witches wouldnt be able to pick that up, she said. I put spells on my cards so that they cant be traced. She looked at him more carefully. Youre from the council?
He nodded. Im looking for a witch called Killian. I think hes in danger.
That one is always in danger, she said, but her eyes were suddenly wary.
Do you know where he is? Hunter asked.
Silently she shook her head.
If you see him, Hunter said, would you contact me?
She gazed at him again, and I had the feeling that she was reading him the way shed read me. Yes, she said at last, I will.
Hunter hesitated, then said, Do you know anything about Amyranth?
Brujas! she said, shivering. They worship darkness. You dont want to go near them.
We think they may have Killian, Hunter said.
Something unreadable flickered in her eyes. Then she scrawled a name on a piece of paper and handed it to Hunter. She once had the misfortune to be the lover of Amyranths leader. She has been trapped in terror ever since. I dont know if shell talk to you, but you can try. Show her my card.
Thank you, Hunter said. We turned to go.
Theres something youve been putting off, Seeker, the woman said.
Hunter turned back to face her, startled. Do it now, she urged him. Do not hesitate. Otherwise you may be too late. Comprende?
I was baffled, but Hunters eyes widened. Yes, he said slowly.
Wait, I have something that might help you. The woman disappeared into the back room and reappeared with what looked like a large seedpod. You know what to do with this? she asked.
Yes, Hunter said again. His face had turned pale. Thank you.
Hasta luego, chica, she called to me as we left.
What was that all about? I asked when we were outside.
Hunter took my arm and steered me west, toward the Hudson River. Shes befriended Killian, he explained. Shes been trying to help him. Im fairly certain shes the one who told him to hide out in that building in Chelsea. The church across the street was called Our Lady of Guadalupe.
But what was she talking about at the end?
He was silent for almost a block. Then he said, Shes very empathic. She can pick up on peoples deep fears and worries.
I noticed, I said, thinking back to what shed said to me at the club. And?
Andshe picked up on my worry about my mum and dad. She gave me a safe way to contact themI think. With this. He stared at the seedpod.
How does it work? I asked.
Indirectly, as I understand it, Hunter said. Ive never used one of these beforetheyre rather a specialty of Latin witches. Its supposed to work something like a message in a bottle, but with a very low-level finding spell on it that will seek out the person youre trying to reach. The spell is so slight that with any luck, it will slip right under the radar of anyone who might be watching. The drawback is that with such a weak spell, the message could take a while to reach its destinationand anything might happen to it along the way. He sucked in a deep breath. But I have to try it.
Are you sure you should? I asked hesitantly. I mean, the council told you to leave it to them. I know Im not the councils biggest fan in general, but maybe theyre right about this. It seems too dangerous for you to do on your own.
Theyve had no success, Hunter said. And Ive been getting the feeling that time is shortthat Ive got to contact Mum and Dad now. I hope Im wrong, but I dont dare wait any longer and find out too late that I was right.
The wind rose as we drew closer to the river. This way, Hunter said, leading me to a small commercial pier. There was a metal gate with a lock on the pier, but Hunter spelled it, and it popped open. We walked through the gate and past a bunch of industrial drums and crates.
Hunter knelt by the water, a smooth sheet of lead gray. Carefully he opened the pod. I watched as he drew sigils that glittered softly on the air before disappearing into the pod. He sang a long Gaelic chant, something unknown to me. Then he closed the pod and wrapped it in more spells. Finally he threw the pod into the water. We watched it bob on the surface for a few moments. I gasped as it finally sank beneath a swell.
Hunter reached out and took my hand, and I tried to give him my strength. Ive done what I can, he said. Now I just have to waitand hope.
10. Signs
December 14, 1981
Greer has been dead a month now of a heart attack, and if anyone suspects that I helped to hasten her death, they dare not accuse me. Liathach is mine now. Andarra, Granias father, doesnt quite understand that. Hes still grieving. He came to tonights circle and chanted the opening invocation to the Goddess and the God. His eyes filled with confusion when I thanked him for it and took over. I had to. He wanted to spend the entire night sending on Greers soul, which I believe we took care of immediately after her death. She had so many dealings with the taibhs, the dark spirits. Doesnt he know they came for her in the end?
Its almost Yule, the time of the return of the God, an appropriate time for me to take over Liathach. Greer was a power, Ill grant, but she wasnt bold enough. She was always worrying about the council. Its time to turn the tables. Now Liathach will come into its own, and the council will fear us.
Neimhidh
Hunter came back to the apartment with me, then went off to look for Ciarans former lover. Bree had gone for a pedicure, and Robbie and I were alone in the apartment. I was gladI wanted to try to work things out with him. But to my dismay, when I came back into the living room after using the bathroom, he was pulling on his coat.
Where are you going? I asked, feeling forlorn.
Museum of Natural History, Robbie said briefly. Hed barely spoken to me since our argument.
Want company?
Not really.
Okay, I said, trying not to show how much that hurt. But Robbie? Ive been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday. I need to talk to you about it. Umcan I walk you to the subway?
After a moment he nodded, and I put my coat back on. We walked up to Twenty-third Street. Robbies plan was to take the bus across to Eighth Avenue, where he could pick up the C train. The wide cross street was jammed with buses, trucks, and taxis. An ambulance and a fire truck, sirens wailing, tried to make their way through the gridlock. Talkingor rather, hearingwas almost impossible.
Want to stop in a coffee shop? I shouted over the commotion. My treat.
Not really, Robbie said again. He stepped forward as a bus pulled up to the stop.
I gritted my teeth. Okay, I said. Well talk on the bus.
Fortunately the bus wasnt too crowded. We got a seat together. I want to apologize to you, I said. You were rightI shouldnt have messed with that woman.
Robbie looked straight ahead. He was still angry.
This being a blood witch and having power, its still kind of new to me, I went on. Im not saying that excuses what I did. Only that Im still getting used to it, still trying to figure out when I should and shouldnt use magick. And the truth is, the power is a kick. I get tempted to use it when I shouldnt. So Im probably going to screw up now and then.
Robbie folded his arms across his chest. Tell me something I dont know.
I sighed. Youre not making this easy.
He looked at me coldly. You can make it easy. Just cast a spell on me.
I winced. Robbie, listen. I promise Ill be more careful. I give you my word that Im going to be more conscious and try not to abuse my power. And Ill never put you in a bad position again.
Robbie shut his eyes. When he opened them, the anger was gone and in its place was sorrow. Morgan, Im not trying to punish you. I just dont know how to trust you anymore, he said. I dont know how we can be friends. I dont want to lose you, but He raised his hands in a gesture of helplessness. Youve got all the power. The playing field is nowhere near level. That makes it pretty hard to have a real friendship.
I felt my hope draining away. Id assumed that we would talk and everything would be okay again. Robbie and I had never stayed angry with each other before. But Robbie was right. Things were unequal. I was operating in a different realm now, with different rules.
He got off the bus, and I followed him down the steps into the subway station. The train came, and we got on it.
So, my being a blood witch means Ive got to lose your friendship? I bit down on my lip to keep from crying as the train moved out of the station.
I dont know, Robbie said. I dont know what to do about it.
We hurtled through several stops, during which I did my best not to break into tears. Things with Bree would never be the same. And now I was losing Robbie, too. Why did being a blood witch mean I had to give up my best friends?
The subway came to a stop at Seventy-second Street, and I glanced at the map. The next stop was Robbies.
I dont want to give up on our friendship, I said stubbornly. I need you. I need Robbie whos not a blood witch and who knows me better than almost anyone. I I wiped my nose. Robbie, youre one of the best people Ive ever met. I cant bear to lose you.
Robbie gave me a long, complicated looksympathy, love, and a weary exasperation all bound together. I dont want to give up on us, either, he said just as the subway rolled into the Eighty-first Street station. You want to come see some dinosaurs?
Sure. I managed a shaky smile.
We got off the train together, but as we walked through the turnstiles, a cloud of intense exhaustion dropped down over me. Then came vague nausea.
UhRobbie? I think I need to bail on the museum.
After all that? You wont even see dinosaurs with me?
I want to, but I feel really wrung out all of a sudden. I think I just need to sit down for a while.
You sure? he asked.
I nodded. I wanted to give Robbie a hug, but by this time I was focusing on not throwing up. He hovered uncertainly for a moment. Then he said, Okay. See you later, and walked toward the museum.