I was lying on a large round table, my hands and feet bound to it with spelled ropes. The table was made of some sort of stone, inlaid with patterns in another stone. Garnet, I thought. There were deep grooves in the surface of the table. The panic Id felt in the visions returned full blown, and for a few useless minutes I struggled against the bonds.
Panic never helps, I told myself. Focus. Find a way out of this. But it was so hard to think through the haze of Amyranths drugged tea.
I called on the spell that was binding me to reveal itself. I saw the faintest glimmering of something that might have been a rune before it winked out. I tried to summon the spell again. Nothing happened, and I felt another jolt of panic. Breathe, I told myself, just breathe.
But it wasnt easy. What had happened to my precious magick? I couldnt connect with it, couldnt feel it.
Its mine, dammit, I thought furiously. No oneespecially not Ciaranis going to take my magick from me.
Maybe I lost consciousness again. Im not sure. I never heard a door open or close, never heard footsteps, but suddenly Amyranth surrounded me. Witches in robes and animal masks formed a perfect circle around the table. Jackal, owl, weasel, cougar, eagle, bear, hawk, viper, jaguar, and a wolf. Predators all. The masks seemed distorted, horrible caricatures of the animals they represented, but I could also tell there was something wrong with my eyesight. It was impossible to say how accurate my perceptions were.
My visions and dreams had come together. Even through the haze of the drug, I could appreciate the irony of it allif we hadnt tried to prevent my dream from coming to pass, none of this would have ever happened. Never try to mess with destiny.
The bear murmured an incantation, and I realized the power-draining ritual was beginning. The others picked up the incantation, turning it into a low, insistent chant. They moved widdershins. The air felt cruel and thick with danger. This was a Wiccan circle of destruction.
And Ciaran was leading it. I couldnt see his face beneath the wolf mask, but I could hear his voice, familiar yet terrifying. Just like the vision. Goddess.
I could feel Amyranths dark magick flowing around the circle. It crackled like lightning. The air was charged with it. Slowly the strength of their power intensified. I felt an unbearable pressure along every inch of my body. Amyranth was calling up a ravenous darkness.
Irrelevantly, it hit me that Cal had never had a funeral. The council had taken his and Selenes bodies. As far as everyone in Widows Vale was concerned, Cal and Selene had simply vanished from the earth.
Or maybe it wasnt so irrelevant. That was what was going to happen to me. My family would never know the truth about my disappearance, and it would always torment them.
The circle stopped moving. A thick, black mist clung to its members. We give thanks, Ciaran said, for delivering to us a sacrifice whose powers will make us that much stronger.
How much power does she have? asked the owl.
Ciaran shrugged. See for yourself.
The owl held a hand over my stomach. Fine silver needles of light dropped from it. For a second they hovered inches above me, then began to glow red. The owl murmured a syllable, and the burning needles dropped down. I couldnt hold back a scream as they seemed to pierce my skin. Dozens of sharp embers sank into my belly, my arms, my legs. Involuntarily my back arched, and I pulled against the spelled ropes.
Stop it! I cried. Please, stop it!
Be quiet! the owl said harshly.
And then the fiery torture intensified, burned deeper into my body. I imagined my heart shriveling into a blackened lump, my bones crisping. I was wild with pain.
I cant take this, I thought frantically. Im going to lose my mind.
Thats enough, Ciaran ordered. Youve seen whats in her.
Strong, very strong. Shell serve well, the owl agreed.
As suddenly as it had started, the pain was gone. I sobbed in relief and hated myself for that weakness.
The wail of a siren came faintly from outside, and a flash of red light shone through the black drapes. The vision again. Oh God, every detail was coming true. I had seen the future. Now I was living it. Amyranth was going to steal my powers, leave me drained, hollowed outwithout magick, without a soul, without life.
Ciaran began another chant. One by one the others joined their voices to his. Again the dark energy began to move, gaining power as it traveled through Amyranths circle. I lay there helpless on the stone table, every muscle in my body clenched tight against the next horrible assault.
I thought of Maeve, my mother, murdered. I thought of Mackenna, my grandmother, killed when the dark wave destroyed Ballynigel. My family had suffered for their magick. Maybe no more was being asked of me than had been asked of them. I had the Riordan strength flowing through my veins. I had ancestral memories and a legacy of incredible power. Surely that meant I had their courage as well.
Give it to us. I felt the darkness clawing at me, trying to find its way into my very marrow.
Amyranth continued the chant. The dark energy shifted, no longer crackling around the circle. Now it hovered over the table, wreathing my body with sparking purple-black light.
Give it to us.
The purple-black light licked at my skin the way flames lick at dry wood. There was no pain, but I felt a crushing weight in my mind, against my chest, in my belly. I gasped for breath and could find none. But I could not let them get my power. Desperately, silently, I sang my summon-power chant.
An di allaigh an di aigh
An di allaigh an di ne ullah
An di ullah be
The words that I knew from ancestral memory were suddenly gone from me. An di ullah be I got no further. The chant had been wiped from my mind.
No! I wanted to scream, to sob, but I had no breath. Dont take it! No! Grief consumed megrief for the magick that was being taken from me. Grief for this precious life that I was about to lose. Grief for Hunter, whom I would never see again.
Ciaran held out a silver athame. A ruby glowed dully on its hilt. He pointed the athame at me, and the dark power coagulated into a spear of searing light.
You will give us your power, he said.
No, no, no! I was no longer capable of coherent thought. Justno!
The chanting broke off abruptly at a sound on the other side of the door. A muffled disturbance, a strugglesomeone using magick against Amyranths spells.
Hunter! I felt Hunters presence, his love, his desperate fear for me. And it terrified me more than anything. Was I strong enough still to send a witch message? Hunter, go back, I pleaded. Dont come in here. You cant save me.
The doorknob turned with a click, and Hunter stepped into the room, his eyes wild. He glanced at me quickly as if to reassure himself that I was alive, then turned to Ciaran.
Let her go, Hunter commanded. His voice shook.
The jackal and the wolf raised their hands, as if to attack Hunter with witch light. Ciaran stopped them.
No! he said. This one is mine. At least for now. He turned back to Hunter, an expression of mild amazement on his face. The council must be in bad shape, sending a boy to do a Seekers work. Did they really lead you to believe you could take me on?
Hunters hand shot out, and a ball of witch light zoomed toward Ciaran. Ciaran drew a sigil in the air, and the light reversed course and blazed back at Hunter.
Hunter ducked, his face pale, eyes glittering. When he stood again, he looked taller, broader than he had only a moment before. A new aura of power glowed around him. He emanated both youthful strength and ancient authority.
The council. Sky had once told me that when Hunter acted as a Seeker, he had access to the extraordinary powers of the council. It was a dangerous weapon to call on, taxing to the Seeker, reserved only for emergencies. Like this one.
Hunter stepped forward. The silver chains of thebraigh glimmered in his hands. He intended to bind Ciaran, to bind his magick. But I could sense no fear in Ciaran at all.
Hunter, dont! I croaked. Hell kill you!
This is getting tiresome, Ciaran said. He muttered a few syllables, and thebraigh suddenly dropped from Hunters hand. I saw him bite back a scream.
Desperately I summoned the source of all my magick. Maeve and Mackenna of Belwicket, I whispered, I call on your power. Help me now!
Nothing happened. No awakening of magick. Nothing. I was sick with disbelief. My mothers and grandmothers magick had failed me.
Ciaran said, Bind him, and the other members of the coven surrounded Hunter and enclosed him in binding spells. The jackal gave Hunter a savage kick. He went down with a groan.
Stop it! I cried. My voice came out as little more than a whisper.
Im sorry, Morgan, Hunter said, and the grief in his voice broke my heart. Ive failed you.
No, you havent. Its all right, love, I said, trying to comfort him. I couldnt say more. Total, soul-destroying despair overtook me. It was I who had failed him. Hunter and I were both lost now, and all because of my fatal arrogance. Neither one of us was going to get out alive. Id signed my own death warrant and Hunters as well.
Put him somewhere safe, Ciaran ordered. Well take care of him later.
The jackal and the weasel dragged Hunter out of the room. A few moments later they returned. The bear picked up the chant again. The ritual was resuming. I didnt care.
The animals circled widdershins. The circle suddenly stopped moving and parted. And Ciaran in his wolf mask stepped to the head of the table. He placed a deliberate hand on either side of my forehead.
No! I screamed. I knew what was going to happen. He was going to force tàth meànma on me. Even if I hadnt been drugged and weak, I doubted I would have stood a chance against Ciaran. He was the strongest witch Id ever known. Hed have access to my every memory, thought, and dream. There was nothing I could hide from him.
I tried to sink into the haze that was clouding my mind. I tried to have no thought. I felt Ciarans power streaming through his hands into me. For a heartbeat I fought him, and then I was hallucinating, reliving my life in flashes from the moment of my birth. Watching and feeling image after image as they flared in bright, almost unnatural colors.
The rush of air, light, and sound as I came through the darkness of the birth canal.
Angus, with his fair hair and bright blue eyes, touching my arm, tentative and sweet.
A day later. Maeve cradling me, gazing into my face with tears running down her cheeks. Saying, You have your fathers eyes.
Bloody hell! It was Ciaran swearing.
He broke the connection, and my vision clouded over. Another spell to obscure something they didnt want me to see. I heard footsteps and the sound of a door closing.
The air in the room had changed. Ciaran was gone. And so was Hunter.
13. Truth
February 29, 1984
The light of day dawnsand with it love dies.
Maeve woke in my arms. Morning dew glistened on her skin. I pulled a bit of straw from her hair and told her how beautiful she was.
No, Ciaran! She scrambled to her feet. This cant be. Ive made my life with Angus, and you have a wife and children
Forget my wife and children. Ive left them. And damn Angus! I cried. Im tired of things coming between what we know is meant to be. We are mùirn beatha dàns. We are meant to be together.
But she wouldnt hear of it. She went on and on, scourging herself with guilt. Angus had been so good to her, so patient and kind. How could she hurt him this way? What we were doing was wrong, immoral, a betrayal of the worst kind.
What about betraying our love? I asked. Youve been perfectly willing to do that these last three years. I explained that Id given up my life in Scotland. My family, my coven, they were no longer a part of me. I was here in America prepared to start my life over with her. What more could she want from me?
I cant live with you and live with myself, she said. She fled the field like a frightened rabbit, she who was once destined to be high priestess of Belwicket.
Well, I cant watch you live with Angus, I shouted at her fleeing form.
So tell me, Maeve, now that youve chosen a course I cant forgive, what is the value of your life?
Neimhidh
With Ciaran gone from the room, the owl took over. The rites must continue, she said.
They started their chanting again. I felt the dark energy building, the summoning of the purple-black light that would take my magick from me. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was completely outmatched.
I thought about Hunter. How much I loved him. How he was about to lose his life for me. How he was mymùirn beatha dàn and Id known it all along but had never let myself embrace that truth. And Id had the nerve to criticize Bree.
A world of regret rose up inside me. Regret for everything Id done wrong.
Id never told my parents how much I appreciated them. Theyd given me a wonderful home and all their love, and when Id found out I was adopted, all of that had seemed insignificant. Because of me, Mary K. had been kidnapped. Because of me, Cal was dead. Hed given his life for me and Id wasted it completely.
Because of me, Hunter was going to die. That was the hardest thing of all.
My mind was spinning. Id been alive only a little over seventeen years. How had I managed to make such a complete disaster of everything? The purple-black light crackled around me, and I thought, Take my power. Take my life. Youre welcome to it.
Well, Ill drink a toast to you, Maeve Riordan. You pulled one over on me from beyond the grave. You were so young and beautiful when you died. I daresay you wouldnt find me attractive now. My own reflection stares back at me from this silver goblet, distorted, gruesome. How did I ever get such a beauty to love me, even for a night? Look at my eyes, two dark muddy slashes unlike anyone elsesexcept this girls.
What do you think, Maeve? You know me better than most, so answer the question that looms before me: Can I now destroy our daughter?
The purple-black light surrounded the inner circle, holding me fast. The masked Amyranth witches stood in a circle around me, murmuring their chant.
I couldnt even control my own muscles. I tried to cast my senses to see just how much my tormentors were enjoying the show. But by now I was too weak even to do that.
The cougar held up a hand, and with a dull horror I saw that a cats curved claws were growing from human fingertips. He muttered an incantation. The purple-black light crackled loudly and shot through my chest. I felt it wrap around my heart, squeezing mercilessly.
The magick was ebbing out of me. I felt it leaving. I didnt want to give in to Amyranth, to Ciarans coven. I didnt want to let go of my magick. But I was so very tired of fighting. I felt the last bit of my resistance float away, and I followed it.
Morgan, come back! It was Hunters voice. A hallucination, I told myself, and slipped back into the fog.
No! I wont let you go. Not like this.
I forced my eyes open. Hunter stood in the doorway. A new aura of power seemed to flicker around him, his own sapphire light tinged with a purplish glow Id never seen before.
Was he really there? How had he gotten away from Ciaran? Where was Ciaran? I couldnt imagine that Hunter had single-handedly overcome such evil. It had to be a dream.
Seeker. The viper advanced on him.
Not a dream. My heart leaped wildly in my chest.
The weasel hurled a ball of blue witch light at Hunter. It found its target, and Hunter gasped in pain.
I struggled to pull myself out of the deadening fog. Hunter. I had to help him. Mentally I began my draw-power chant again. An di allaigh
Power stirred inside me, faint as a hummingbirds heartbeat. But there.
In my mind I sang the chant again and again until I felt a thin, steady stream of magick pouring into me. And then I sent it all to Hunter. Help him, I charged it. Make him stronger. Heal his wounds.
Hunter blocked a blow from the jackal, then turned and shot me a quick look of gratitude. I love you, Hunter, I thought. Youve got to survive this.
Then Hunter chanted a spell in a language I didnt recognize. The fine garnet inlays on the table began to shudder. I watched wide-eyed as their forms rose into the air, glowing with the bloodred light of the gems. They were sigils, I realized. Hunter was calling them up.
The masked witches moved away from him, and I felt their terror. Impossible, one murmured. Theres no way a Seeker could know how to use those sigils.
How did he do it? I wondered with distant amazement. Could the council really make him that much stronger? He seemed practically invincible.
The witch in the bear mask charged Hunter, but the witch never made it. He let out a sickening scream as he hit one of the glowing red sigils. He crashed to the floor, where the sigil ate at him the way fire ants devour a body.
And then Hunter was at my side, his athame out, its blade slicing through the spelled ropes that bound me. I felt him lift me from the table, murmur, Thank God youre still alive.
Hunter, no, I whispered. Save yourself.
Shhh, he whispered. Its all right.
But the fog was washing over me, drawing me under again. And this time I let it take me.
Time had passed, I dont know how much. There was only Hunter and me, and we were on the sidewalk. He set me on my feet gently. Do you think you can walk? he asked.
Yes, I said, though I was still terribly weak. Then Hunter was pulling me away from the house.
We got as far as the Museum of Natural History, where we both collapsed on the steps. It was dark and cold, and our breath came out in little clouds of vapor.
Are you all right? Hunter asked.
I think so. My powerthey didnt take it.
No, he said softly. You fought off an entire coven of Woodbanes. Thank the Goddess. I was nearly out of my mind with fright for you.
That was when I started to cry, great, gulping sobs that felt like theyd never stop.
Hunter folded me into his arms and held me. For a long time I stayed there in the shelter of his arms, crying until I had no more tears. Even after I stopped crying, I stayed there, listening to the steady sound of his heart, thinking it incredibly precious.
I must be a mess, I said, finally breaking away to blow my nose. Thats when I noticed Hunters face was as tear-streaked as mine. Hunter? I asked uncertainly. Are you okay?
He nodded. Id better send a message to Sky, let everyone know were all right. He concentrated for a moment, and I knew the message was being sent. Here, he said then, taking off his jacket and draping it over my shoulders.
How did you find me? I asked. I called you, but I got no answer. Ciaran was blocking my messages. I shuddered.
I finally found Ciarans ex-lover, and she told me where the coven was, Hunter explained.
What happened to the Amyranth witches? I asked.
Still in the house. Recovering, I imagine. I hit them pretty hard, but I dont think I did much permanent damage, Hunter said. I was more concerned with getting you out alive.
But theyre still there.
Yes. Ive sent a message to the council, but I doubt theyll get there before Amyranth clears out of that house. Theyll surface again, though, he added grimly.
A kid came up to us, clutching a fistful of individually wrapped roses. Hey, mister, want to buy a flower for the lady? he asked.
Hunter stood up. Yes, God, yes, I ought to buy her an entire bouquet, buthe reached into his pocket and pulled out his billfoldIll take one. Keep the change.
Thanks, the boy said, his face lighting up as he realized Hunter had given him a twenty.
That was generous, I said as the boy ran off and Hunter dropped down beside me again.
He shrugged. Im feeling generous and gratefuland phenomenally sorry. So much more than sorry. He handed me the flower. Morgan, I dont know how to apologize.
For what? You dont have anything to apologize for, I protested. Im the one who charged in there like the Mounties to the rescue.
He gave me that stern Hunter look. You did, and remind me to give you a hard time for it someday, but the truth isthis was all my fault.
I snuggled closer. How do you figure that?
Isnt it obvious? I should have realized Amyranth wanted you.
Stop blaming yourself, I told him. I ran my hand along his smooth cheek. He was so dear to me. It was the council who got it totally wrong. How could they have thought the target was Ciarans child?
Hunter didnt say anything.
I guess I shouldnt blame them, I added grudgingly. I mean, I did see myself as a wolf cub in the dream. But obviously that didnt mean what we all assumed it meant.
Hunter gazed at me with an expression of pity and grief. Oh, Morgan, he said. I thought you already knew.
Knew what? Sudden, nameless dread lodged somewhere below my heart, a dark, cold mass.
The dream meant exactly what we thought. The council didnt get it wrong. The target was Ciarans child.
But Killian was never their captive and
Never mind Killian. Theres one thing none of us knew, he interrupted, his voice gentle. Not even Ciaranuntil he did tàth meànma on you. He saw Maeve holding you as an infantand he heard what she said about your eyes. Morgan, Angus had blue eyes. Yours are brownlike your fathers.
No. I started to shake again as I understood what he was saying. That cant be. Its impossible. I wont believe
Hunter put one hand on the side of my face. Morgan, you are Ciarans child.
14. Tainted
May 25, 1985
I tried to forget her, I swear it. I returned to Scotland. Had another go with Grania and the little ones, every bit as miserable as the other times. Killian is an interesting one, though. He has more innate power than Kyle and Iona combined. He could be a real find. Still, I cant share a roof with any of them, not when its Maeve I ache for. Shes a craving in my heart, a sickness in my blood. I wake and fall asleep to her memory. I love her as much as I hate her. She is with me every minute.
But the truth is, she remains with Angus, damn him. Time and again Ive tried to persuade her to leave the worthless fool. And time and again she refuses.
I wonder sometimes what would be if she gave me a chance, if she saw who it is Ive become in these years since she first rejected me. The heart she would not accept from me, I gave to the darkness. My power has grown beyond what I ever believed possible. I have served the darkness well, and it me. There is nothing on this earth that frightens me and very little that can stand against me. Would the good witch of Belwicket be able to accept that? I must believe that our love would open her to her own true Woodbane nature and that she would revel in it as I do.
Meanwhile my love for her only grows. It never seems to diminish, no matter how I distract myself. Ive tried everything, even stooping to childish tricks. Ive left anonymous threatening sigils around their house. Ive even hung a dead cat from their porch rail. Goddess, its sickening, juvenile stuff, but I am a man possessed. What shall I do? What can I do?
Neimhidh
I dont know how long I sat there on the steps of the museum, trying to wrap my mind around what Hunter had just told me. I was numb, unable to process it. It was too dark, too monstrous. I couldnt let it in.
Ciaran, my true father?
No. No, no, no. It simply couldnt be.
Listen, love, Hunter said. I want to tell you about him.
Please. Dont. I couldnt say anything else. His jacket hung open on my shoulders. I wasnt even feeling the cold anymore. No, you need to hear this. It was Ciaran who freed me. He told me you were his daughter and that I had to save you.
Why? So he can drain me again? I said.
Hunter sighed. Youre not listening. Ciaran gave me the spell for calling up the sigils in the table. And he added his power to mine. Dont you know I couldnt have held off all those witches on my own? Neither one of us would have gotten out of there alive without his help. Morgan, whatever he is, whatever hes done, he couldnt kill you. Not his own child.
It doesnt matter, I replied dully. Hes still evil. A murderer. And Im his daughter. Robbie had been right about me. I was fundamentally tainted. It was my birthright.
Morgan
I put my finger to Hunters lips. Stop. Please. If theres one thing Ive learned from all this, its that you cant change whats fated to be.
Hunter rubbed his temple. We need to talk about this, but tonights obviously not the right time.
We should get out of the city, I said with a shudder. Before Amyranth regroups. Lets go get everyone. Ill drive back to Widows Vale tonight.
Hunter gave a hollow laugh. Im not even sure youre capable of climbing into a cab, much less driving upstate. No, well spend the night in the city. I expect well be safe enough. But first thing tomorrow morning well get the hell out.
He hailed a cab and helped me into it.
It was late when we got back to the apartment. We rode up in the elevator in silence. It was only when we got out on Brees floor that I realized I was still wearing that awful brown robe. How am I going to explain this? I asked.
Hunter brushed a strand of hair out of my face. Its after eleven. Maybe theyll all be asleep.
They were. Sky and Raven were in the living room, nestled together on the pullout couch. Raven looked content, peaceful, almost innocent.
I found a note from Bree on the kitchen counter.
M&H
Im so glad youre all right! Since my dad is still in Connecticut, Robbie and I are camping out in the master bedroom. You guys can take the guest room.
B
In tiny print at the bottom shed added another note: MYou were right about me. How about that?
Hunter was standing at the closed door of the guest room. Morgan, look, he said softly. On the doorknob Bree had hung a small wreath wound through with white blossoms. Their sweet, heady scent filled the hallway. Jasmine, Hunter said with a smile. Wonder where she found it at this time of year? He took my hand. Shall we go in?
I tried to force a smile, but I couldnt.
Hunter, I began, my voice breaking, I dont know how to say this, butI just hurt a lot right now. I need to sleep on my own tonight.
I saw the flash of pain in Hunters eyes and felt a remote sense of guilt, of regret. Here, at last, was our chance to spend a whole night together. After surviving the disaster at Ciarans, sleeping together was exactly what should have followed, a natural way to ground ourselves in life again after having come so close to death. An affirmation of our love, a time for comfort. But I couldnt accept it. Not now.
If thats what you need Hunters voice trailed off.
It is. I reached up and touched his cheek. Thanks. For everything.
Anytime, he said.
I walked into the guest room and caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. For the space of several heartbeats I forced myself to study my own face. My cheeks were tear-streaked, my nose slightly swollen. My eyes were puffy and red. And exactly the same shape and color as Ciarans.
I felt a sick appreciation for the irony of it. After all these years I finally knew who I resembled.
I couldnt look anymore. I needed a shower desperately, but I was too tired. The shower would wait until morning. I stripped off the brown robe. In the morning Id stuff it down the garbage chute.
I went into the guest room and climbed into bed. I closed my eyes and willed sleep, but an endless tape kept running through my head: Ciaran is my father. Ciaran is my father. Ciaran is my father.
I couldnt doubt it. Not after the connection Id felt with him. Not after Id looked in the mirror and seen his eyes staring out from my face.
My father was a murderer, the leader of a Woodbane coven whose purpose was to destroy other covens. Hed killed Maeve and Angus. He was pure evil.
It occurred to me that Killian was my half brother.