Giomanach is so changed from the last time I saw him. He's nearly two years old now, no longer a baby but a wiry little boy with hair like bleached corn silk and Fiona's dancing green eyes. He's a happy child but still shy and a little fearful around me. I try not to let him see how it hurts me.
I try, too, not to think too often of Cal, and the battle that I lost.
Maghach
"Morgan." My sister was sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking my shoulder. "Mom asked me to wake you up."
I opened my eyes and realized it was dark outside. I felt like I'd been asleep for days. "What time is it?" I asked groggily.
"Five-thirty." Mary K. turned on the light on my night table, and I saw the concern in her warm brown eyes. "Aunt Eileen and Paula are on their way over for dinner. They should be here any minute. Hey, Mom told me about you and Cal. And I saw Das Boot. Are you okay?"
I drew in a shaky breath, then nodded. Something had shifted during the purification ceremony. Though I still felt deeply wounded, I didn't have quite the same sense of hopelessness I'd had this morning. "I've been better, but I'll live."
"Cal wasn't in school today," Mary K. said. She hesitated. "There's a rumor going around that he and his mom left town over the weekend. That there was some kind of suspicious fire on their property and now they've disappeared."
"They did leave, it's true," I said. I sighed. "Look, I can't talk about this right now. I'll tell you the whole story soon. But you have to promise to keep it to yourself."
"Okay." She looked solemnly at me, then went through the connecting door to her room.
I pulled on a pair of sweats and a red thermal top and brushed my long hair into a ponytail. Then I went downstairs. In the front hall I heard the doorbell, then a babble of excited voices. "What's going on?" I asked as I went out to greet them. They all sounded cheerful and happy.
"We made an offer on a house today, and it was accepted!" Aunt Eileen told me. When my aunt Eileen and her girlfriend, Paula Steen, decided to move in together, my mom had made it her personal mission to find them the house of their dreams.
Moments later we were all gathered around the dining-room table. Mary K. set out silverware and plates, my dad set out wineglasses, and Mom, Aunt Eileen, and Paula opened container after container of takeout food.
I sniffed the air, not recognizing the smells of either Chinese or Indian food, the two usual choices. "Wow. Smells great. What'd you bring?"
"We splurged at Fortunato's," Paula told me. Fortunato's was a trendy gourmet place that had opened a couple of years ago in Widow's Vale. Our family didn't shop there much, due to their insane prices.
"What's your pleasure?" Aunt Eileen asked. "We've got filet mignon with wild mushrooms, herb potatoes, cold salmon, asparagus vinaigrette, spinach salad, clam fritters, and chicken dijonnaise."
"And save room for chocolate-hazelnut cake," Paula added.
"Oh my God, I'm never going to be able to move again," Mary K. moaned.
Paula popped the cork on a champagne bottle and poured it into glasses as we all took our seats. She even gave Mary K. and me about a swallow each, though I noticed my mom raise her eyebrows as Aunt Eileen handed the glasses to us.
"A toast!" Paula said, and lifted her own glass high. "To our new, absolutely perfect home and the absolutely brilliant real estate agent who found it for us!"
My mom laughed. "May you always be happy there!"
We began passing around the food. It felt good to see everyone so cheerful, even Mary K., who had been looking pretty down since she and her boyfriend, Bakker, had broken up. I was glad to be able to focus on someone's good news. I felt myself start to relax, felt my anxiety recede a bit.
"So tell me all about this perfect house," I said to Eileen.
"It's in Taunton," Eileen began, naming a town about ten miles north of us. "It's a little house with bay windows, set back from the street, with a beautiful garden out back. Wood-burning stove downstairs and a fireplace in the master bedroom. The only bad part is, it's covered with ugly green vinyl siding."
"Which is old and needs to be replaced, anyway," Mom stuck in. "Apart from that, it oozes charm."
"Yeah." Paula grinned. "Just ask the realtor."
"When do you think you'll move in?" Mary K. asked Aunt Eileen.
Aunt Eileen had just taken a huge bite of spinach salad, so Mom answered for her. "The closing is scheduled for next week, after the inspection," she said.
"That's fantastic!" Mary K. said. "You could actually be in by next weekend."
Aunt Eileen took Paula's hand and with her other hand crossed her fingers. "That's what we're hoping," she said.
The rest of dinner went by quickly, with talk of moving plans, house plans, and a heated discussion about how many pets they would adopt once they were settled. Paula was a veterinarian, so Aunt Eileen thought they should have a good menagerie, including several cats and dogs and a rabbit or two. By the time we got to dessert, everyone was laughing.
All at once my smile froze into place as I felt Hunter on our front walk outside. His presence always had a weird effect on me. The doorbell rang a moment later, and I stood quickly. "I'll get it," I said.
I went to the front hall and opened the door. Hunter stood there in a thick green sweater that perfectly matched his eyes. His hands were shoved into the pockets of a worn brown leather jacket that emphasized his broad shoulders.
"You weren't in school today," he stated.
"Hello to you, too," I said dryly.
He ducked his head and kicked snow off his boot. "Uh, right. Hello. How are you feeling?"
"Better, thanks."
He brought his gaze back up to mine, his eyes glinting in the reflection from the little light over the door. "As I was sayingyou weren't in school."
My forehead crinkled. Had he gone to my school to check up on me? Was Hunter actually concerned about me?
I must have been staring at him because I noticed the tips of his ears begin to turn pink. Was he blushing? Surely not. Not Hunter. He must really be cold.
"Morgan, who is it?" my mom called.
"Umit's my friend Hunter," I called back. "I'll just be a second."
"Well, invite him in and shut the door. You're letting in cold air."
Silently I held the door, and Hunter stepped inside. "We need to talk," he said.
I knew he was right, but I wasn't ready yet. "It's not a good time."
"I don't mean about Cal," he said. "I mean about Cirrus." Cirrus was the coven that Cal had started. I was a member, along with Robbie, Jenna Ruiz, Sharon Goodfine, Ethan Sharp, and Matt Adler. Bree had originally been part of Cirrus, too, but when she and I split up over Cal, she and Raven Meltzer had formed Kithic, a coven that was now led by Hunter's cousin Sky.
"Cirrus?" I repeated, confused. "What about it?"
"With Cal gone, you need someone else to lead it. An initiated witch."
I hadn't even thought about that. With Cirrus, Cal had opened up the world of Wicca to me, permanently altering my world. His betrayal had left a deep black hole in my life, and my few new support systems were now being sucked away into it
I didn't want to lose the coven. "I could ask Alyce or David if they'll take over."
"Alyce and David are already part of Starlocket. I hear Alyce has been asked to lead it now that Selene is gone," Hunter said.
I was silent, thinking, and then Hunter broke in.
"I want to lead Cirrus," he said.
Now I was seriously at sea. "Why?" I asked. "You don't know any of us. You don't even live here. Not permanently, anyway."
"I'll probably be here for a while. I've asked the council to give me time to come up with new leads on Cal and Selene. I want to see if I can track them down."
"But you don't know how long that will take," I argued. "Anyway, there are five other people in our coven. They might have something to say about who leads us."
"I already discussed it with them," Hunter said. "I went to your school today. That's how I know you weren't there."
So he hadn't gone there out of concern for me. To my surprise, I felt a stab of disappointment. Then my anger rose. How could he be so presumptuous? "So you talked to them and they said yes? You're it?"
"We're going to see how it goes," he said cautiously. "There's a circle tomorrow night at my house at seven. I hope you'll be there. I think it would be good for. . everyone."
"A circle on a Tuesday night?"
"We can't wait until Saturday," Hunter said. "It's important that Cirrus re-form quickly. When a circle is broken in this way, it can be devastating to the members. Besides, we don't know what magick Cal might have used on the members. I've asked everyone to bring the stones Cal gave them so we can purify them. You should bring yours, too, along with anything else he gave you."
"I already purified everything," I said, and felt a childish triumph when I saw the surprise in his eyes. Now maybe he'd stop being so superior, so remote, making me feel like he was ten years older than me rather than two.
Even as the thoughts formed, I knew I wasn't being fair to him. He really was trying to help. But his very competence irked me, made me feel clumsy, naive.
He must have sensed a change in my attitude and figured the circle issue was a done deal, because he moved on. "Now, the second thing," he said, "is you. You've come into quite a birthrightfar more power than most blood witches ever experience, and Belwicket's tools besides. But you know only the most rudimentary things about how to focus and control your power. And you know even less about how to protect yourself."
I took it as an accusation and felt anger flare again. "I've only known I was a blood witch for a month. I know I have a long way to go."
Hunter sighed. "All I'm saying is that you've got a hell of a lot of catching up to do. Most blood witches are initiated at age fourteen, after studying for years. Witches need to know the history of Wicca and the Seven Great Clans; the rituals of the Goddess and the God and the eight great Sabbats; herbalism; the basics of numerology; the proper use of talismans and runes; the properties of minerals, metals, and stones and how they interact with the cycles of the celestial bodies. The full correspondences; reading auras; spells of protection, healing, binding, and banishment. And though it's more advanced, you really ought to learn about the Guardians of the Watchtowers"
A sudden burst of laughter came from the kitchen, where Aunt Eileen and Paula and my family were lingering over coffee. It sounded so safe and comforting in there, a world I was not fully part of anymore, a world I had taken for granted. An awful thought occurred to me. "Is my family in danger?" I blurted out.
Hunter ran a hand through his pale blond hair. Tiny crystals of ice had beaded up in it, so now bits of it stuck up in spiky tufts, making him look about eight years old.
"I don't think so," he said. "At least, not now. With Selene's plan exposed, I suspect she and her cronies will lie low for a while. You have a window of safety here, which is why it's vital that you don't waste it. You need to begin studying."
I gnawed my thumbnail. He was right.
"I have some books that I bought at Practical Magick," I told him. "I haven't read them cover to cover, but I've skimmed them." I told him the titles. "And of course I've read most of Maeve's Book of Shadows."
He nodded approvingly. "Those are all good. Keep working with them and we'll talk in a few days. Write down any questions you have. I'll give you a reading list after I have a better sense of what you know."
"Hey." Mary K. came out into the hall. "Hunter, right? How are you?"
"Fine, thanks," he said, flashing her a surprisingly warm smile. "You?"
"Good." Mary K. twisted a strand of auburn hair around her finger.
Was she flirting with him? "Hunter's got to go now," I said.
He looked at me, then nodded. "Good night," he called to my sister. To me he said, "You look tired. Get some sleep."
"What a hottie," Mary K. said as the door clicked shut behind him.
"Oh, please," I groaned, then went back to the kitchen to join the group
5. Darkness
With Athar's help, I broke the warding spells today. It took the two so us the better part of the dayAthar was annoyed because I made her take a day off from her job.
But I found nothing useful inside. If Selene did leave anything, it's locked in that library of hers, and I can't get at it. The council is sending a fellow down from Boston next week to help my bind the house in spells. Perhaps he'll be able to help me get in. I will not ask Morgan for help. It's clear that she dislikes me enough already.
I wish she didn't. There's something in her eyes, in the way she holds her head, that somehow draws me to her.
Giomanach
Something was after me, I could feel it. Deep darkness was surrounding me, trying to find me, to envelop me. I tried to make the rune signs for protection, but I couldn't lift my hands: my fingers weren't working. I'd been bound, just as Cal had bound me to entrap me.
Smoke and flames burned in the back of my throat, and I heard a voice screaming, "Not again!" Somehow I knew the voice belonged to my birth mother, Maeve.
Then faces rose up out of the smothering darkness: Selene and Cal. I begged them to leave me alone. I pushed my lips together tightly, knowing, somehow, that they wanted me to breathe in the darkness, wanted it to become a part of me.
Just as I felt myself about to suffocate, I saw a tiny sliver of light. The faces of Cal and Selene dissolved as the light approached. And then I began to see a new face in its midst.
Hunter.
I woke up sweaty and gasping for breath. My heart raced, pounding hard in my chest I pushed my hair away from my damp forehead and looked around the room. I was in my own bedroom. I was alone. Dagda was sleeping on a pillow that had fallen to the floor. It was still pitch dark outside my window.
I shuddered. The dream had been so intense, it felt like it was still with me. I pulled at the sheets. They were completely wrapped around my body. I let out a shaky laugh. No wonder I'd thought I was being smothered. Those sheets were wound as tightly as a straitjacket. I struggled free, then reached over to my bedside table and flicked on the lamp. Not so good. The lamp cast spooky shadows all around my room. I got up and turned on my overhead light. Dagda stretched and blinked sleepily. I picked him up and brought him back into bed with me.
"It was just a nightmare," I told my purring kitten. "It's just my brain trying to process all that I've been through."
I pulled the comforter up around my shoulders. I'd gone from sweaty to freezing. Was my window open? I glanced over, but no, it was shut. I still felt anxious, unsettled. My heart started its syncopated beat again. Was it just the aftermath of the dream, or was I picking up something with my witch senses?
Cradling Dagda close to my body, I got up and went to the window. I took in deep breaths, trying to calm my mind. Dagda squirmed, so I put him down. I didn't want to be distracted.
Willing myself to breathe evenly, I opened myself to the night. I could feel the sting of frosty air on my face as my senses moved out of my cozy bedroom and into the backyard. The world was quiet under its blanket of snow, and the trees themselves seemed to be asleep. The houses were filled with sleeping bodies; a car drove slowly along the road. Beyond that, I didn't get much sensation, just vague cold.
Then a wave of nausea hit me. My veins felt like they were filled with cold sludge. The only other time I'd felt anything like this horrible sensation was when Cal had used magick to bind me.
There was dark magick in Widow's Vale tonight. I knew that with certainty.
Stay clear, stay calm, a voice said in my head. Was it my own? Don't fight the sensation, the voice told me. Examine it.
As I stopped fighting the nausea, it seemed to dissipate. I realized that I wasn't being acted upon. This wasn't an attackit felt oddly impersonal. The energy, whatever it was, wasn't directed at me. It was as if I'd gotten a whiff of something really foul but hadn't actually come into contact with it.
But what was it? And where was it coming from?
Suddenly I could see the field where Cal had brought us for our very first circle. I couldn't make out what was happening there, but I was certain that I was seeing the place where the magick was being worked.
I gasped. It could only mean one thing. Cal and Selene were back. Who else would go to that particular field? They were there, working their dark spells. Whatever they were doing right now wasn't aimed at me. But it was only a matter of time before they came for me.
6. A New Circle
Kennet Muir, my council mentor, rang from London to say he'd got a new assignment for me. There was a cat found in a suburb of Montreal with its throat cut, and the council fears a rogue coven may have resurrected the blood rituals that were banned in the nineteenth century.
On the strength of one dead cat! It's ridiculous: it's a fool's errand, and I told Kennet so. I told him I needed to stay here, that I had many things to finish. He finally agreed, but only after warning me not to allow myself to become too emotionally wrapped up in my work.
Athar laughed when I told her that. Too late," she said.
I had a feeling she was not referring only to finding Cal and Selene.
Giomanach
I didn't sleep at all during the rest of the night. Whenever I shut my eyes, images of Selene and Cal rose up, unbidden. By dawn I gave up and used my nervous energy to do the next week's math problems. The only thing that kept me from jumping out of my skin was the knowledge that the dark magick hadn't been focused on me.
I knew I had to tell Hunter about what I had experienced, and I didn't want to wait until the circle that night. I went out to the hall phone.
Mary K. walked by on her way to the bathroom. Her eyes widened when she saw me. "You're up early," she said. "You even have time to eat breakfast sitting down."
"I may be up, but I'm not awake," I warned her. I dialed Hunter's number, hoping he and Sky were early risers.
No answer. And no voicemail. I banged the phone down in frustration. Where the hell were they at this ridiculous hour?
Luckily Mary K. misinterpreted my mood as my usual morning crabbiness, so she didn't ask any questions. Stay calm, I ordered myself. Selene and Cal may be back, but you'll find some way to be ready for them.
Since I was already up, Mary K. and I set out for school early. She was stunned since she usually had to nag me into my car. I figured I'd use the opportunity to find out what the other members of Cirrus really thought about Hunter taking over.
I could feel Mary K.'s eyes on me while I drove. Did she sense my tension?
"Do you want to talk about it now?" she asked hesitantly.
I sighed. I felt bad for not telling her the full story. But I just wasn't up to it yet. I squeezed Das Boot into a snug parking space. "Soon, I promise. It's really. . really hard. Calhe wasn't who I thought he was." Understatement of the year.
She sighed. "Is it the Rowlands's curse to have bad judgment when it comes to guys?" Mary K.'s ex-boyfriend, Bakker, had tried to force himself on her. I had been so furious that I'd shot witch fire at him without even realizing what I was doing. Still, that didn't stop her from taking him back. Or him from trying it again. Luckily she'd been stronger the second time. He was out of her life for good. I hoped. "Mom did okay," I said.
"She wasn't a Rowlands," Mary K. pointed out darkly.
"True!" I said, and unbelievably, I giggled. Then we were hugging in the front seat of my demolition-derby car. "I'm glad you're my sister," I whispered.
"Back atcha," Mary K. said, and then her friend Jaycee ran up to the car, bundled in a Day-Glow-pink ski jacket
"Mary K.," she cried excitedly, tapping the window. "You are not going to believe who Diane D'Alessio is going out with!
"Just a sec," Mary K. told her. She turned back to me. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Yep," I told her.
Mary K. and Jaycee hurried across the icy parking lot toward school. I grabbed my backpack and followed them.
Inside the redbrick building, I headed to the basement stairs, where our coven usually hung out on cold mornings. Jenna and Sharon were already there, along with Ethan. Matt, Jenna's ex, was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Robbie.
"Hey," I said.
Sharon looked up at me, relief evident in her expression. "Morgan! Are you all right? Robbie told us about Sunday night."
I sat down on the step beside Jenna. "Yeah, I'm okay. I guess."
Ethan shook his head. "That totally blew me away. I can't believe I missed all the signs that Cal was lethal."
"We all missed them," Sharon said, shuddering. Ethan put his arm around her shoulders.
Jenna tucked a strand of her pale blond hair behind her ear. "I feel so stupid. Like we were all taken in by a con artist or something. That the whole thing was just part of a plot to get at you."
"It's strange, but I can't help feeling that a lot of what he was doing was sincere," I said thoughtfully. Then I caught myself, wondering if I had a total victim personality or what. "Of course, he seemed pretty sincere about trying to kill me, too," I added briskly. "So now we know. Wicca definitely has a dark side, and Cal and Selene were practicing it."
Ethan stood up and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "You know, I like the part of Wicca that's about connecting with nature, understanding yourself. But this dark stuff scares me."
"I don't think any of us realized what we might be getting into when Cal started Cirrus," I said. "Now I guess we have to decide whether we want to go on with it."
"Did you hear that Hunter wants to lead the coven?" Jenna asked.
I nodded. "He told me last night. How do you all feel about it?"
"Weird," Jenna said. "I mean, we started with Cal. Being in the coven is so much connected with him for me. I don't know what it will be like. Plus it seems weird that Hunter would even want to lead us. He doesn't know us."
"He's worried about us being exposed to dark magick, and he wants to make sure no one gets hurt. That's what he said, anyway," Sharon said. She smiled. "In his sexy English accent."
"Hey!" Ethan protested. "What about my sexy accent?"
"He does seem to know what he's talking about," Matt said. "He's been doing this a lot longer than we have. I know he's not much older than we are, but he seems. . I don't know. . more grown-up or something."
"It's just the accent," Ethan said, poking Sharon in the ribs. "It makes him seem older."
"Cut it out." Sharon wiggled away, laughing.
"You're right," I admitted. Hunter did seem older than his years. It probably had to do with all he'd been through. He'd had to grow up fast.
"I loved Cal's circles," Sharon said wistfully. "He was totally laid-back but at the same time encouraging."
"That last circle with him, I felt real magick," Jenna agreed. "Still, it might be interesting to see how Hunter handles things. For variety." The first bell rang, and she got to her feet "All I know is, I'm not joining Sky's coven," she said. We all knew what she meant. Along with Bree, Raven Meltzer also belonged to Sky's coven. Raven had tried to seduce Matt, and Matt had pretty much gone for it. Hence the end of the four-year romance between Matt and Jenna.
Sharon said, "I think we ought to give him a chance."
"Yeah," Ethan said. "If we hate it, we can just quit."
For a moment, I envied them. If they didn't enjoy Wicca, they could drop it, the way you drop a boring after-school activity. I didn't have that option. Wicca had chosen me as much as I'd chosen it.
* * *
I'd hoped to get to Hunter and Sky's place early so that I could talk to Hunter about what I'd sensed the night before, but in the dark I missed the turn to his street and was out of Widow's Vale completely before I figured it out. By the time I pulled up in front of the house, it was already after seven, and everybody else's cars were parked against the curb. I wedged Das Boot in between Robbie's Beetle and Jenna's Corolla and started up the narrow path.
Hunter must have sensed me coming before I reached the porch. The front door opened, framing him in warm golden light I caught my breathit was so similar to the image of him in my dream, bathed in light pushing back the darkness. I blinked to shake off the image. He watched me from the doorway, looking like one of those ads for an après-ski drink, and I suddenly felt self-conscious, as if I were about to slip and fall facedown on the walk.
"Welcome," he said.
"Morganita." Robbie came up behind him. "You've got to check this place out. It's very cool."
"I've been here before," I mumbled, oddly flustered.
Hunter stood aside to let me pass, and I walked into the living room. Sharon and Ethan were sharing an ottoman, leaning companionably against each other's backs. Jenna and Matt were in the armchairs, not looking at each other. Robbie sat down at one end of the blue velvet sofa and waved a hand at the seat next to him. I could sense that everyone was unsure about Hunter leading us, and I knew that Hunter sensed it, too.
"You know what's strange about this living room?" Robbie said. "There's no TV."
Hunter arched one blond eyebrow. "We don't have time for it." he said. The implication was that neither should we. Not a great way to start.
"Is Sky here?" Jenna asked.
"No. She's out this evening," Hunter replied. He was wearing a deep-blue denim shirt, and worn black jeans hung loosely on his hips. I suddenly had a vivid flashback to the moment he'd almost kissed me, standing in the dark outside my house. That had been only three nights ago, but until this minute I'd forgotten about it.
I felt my cheeks burn. Where had that stray thought come from?
Hunter moved to stand in front of the hearth. "Welcome, everyone. I appreciate your showing up on a weeknight. I know this change is difficult. And I understand that despite the way things turned out with Cal, you liked the way he led Cirrus.
"My approach will inevitably be different," he went on. "But I'll try to see that Cirrus remains a coven where you feel comfortable, where you can be open with one another, where you can learn to safely draw on the power that lies within you, and where you will enter into a true connection with your magick."
Sharon smiled at that. But all I could think about was how with Cal the circles had seemed natural and comfortable. With Hunter it felt like we were getting the Wicca version of a Rotary Club speech.
"So," Hunter said, "let's begin. If you'll follow me, please. ."
We followed him from the living room through a short hallway that I hadn't noticed when I'd been there before. It was lined with bookshelves that held a small collection of clothbound volumes. Through an arched doorway I could see into a small kitchen, where dried herbs and flowers hung from the ceiling.
At the end of the hall was a set of double wooden doors. Hunter opened them into a long, narrow room that was lit by candles and the glow of a wood-burning stove. The room ran the length of the house. Its back wall was covered with windows. A door led out to what seemed to be a deck. The windows rattled slightly, and I could hear the wind sighing through the trees.
An altar sat at one end of the room, holding more candles, a stick of burning incense, a shell, a dish of water in which purple blossoms floated, a pale blue crystal, and a stone sculpture of a woman. The sculpture was rough, the face barely defined, yet it was completely sensuous, a vision of the Goddess. You had only to look at it to know that it was made with love. I looked at Hunter. Had he sculpted it?
"Will you form a circle, please?" Hunter began. He sounded terribly proper and polite, very British. Once again I missed Cal with a pang and once again felt stupid and angry at myself for missing someone who had hurt me so badly.
I joined the others as Hunter drew a circle with white chalk around us. It was reassuring to feel Robbie on one side of me and Sharon on the other. I felt uneasy, though. I wondered if it was the threat of Selene and Cal or if it was Hunter. His presence always unsettled me, and being in a circle was so intimate. I wondered what it would be like to share this experience with him.
With the chalk Hunter traced four runes on each of the directional points. "I've chosen these runes specifically for our first circle together," he said. "Thorn is for new beginnings and opening gateways," he said, pointing to the rune at the east. "Beorc is a rune of growth. Ur is to create change and healing and strengthen all magick. Eolh is for protection."