Ive seen it.
The unmistakable shape of a snake eating its own tail.
The Ouroboros.
The mythical symbol claimed by Romans tribe of immortal rogues, tattooed right on the small of Judes back.
I reach for my amulet, fingers fumbling but finding only skin. Wondering if this is somehow connected to my spell gone bad, if Roman has somehow arranged this.
Ever? Yeah, shes here He looks at me, making a face as he adds, O-kay . . .
He looks at me, arm extended, trying to pass on the phone.
But I just ignore it, moving out of the Jacuzzi so fast he shakes his head and blinks.
Grabbing my dress and yanking it over my head, feeling it dampen and cling to my skin, as my eyes blaze on his, wondering what the hell hes up to.
Its for you, he says, climbing out of the spa and trying to pass it again.
Who is it? I ask, voice barely a whisper. Mentally reciting the list of all seven chakras and their corresponding weaknesses, and trying to determine his.
Its Ava. Says she needs to speak to you. You okay? He squints, head cocked to the side, concern clouding his face.
I step back, unsure of whats happening but knowing its a long way from good. Going straight past his aura and trying to peer into his mind, but not getting much of anything thanks to the shield that he built.
Howd she get your number? I ask, gaze fixed on his.
She used to work for meremember? He shrugs, hands in the air. Everseriouslywhats this about?
I look at him, heart racing, hands shaking, assuring myself I could take him if it comes to that. Set the phone down.
What?
Set it down. Right there, I point to a lounge chair, my gaze never once leaving his. Then walk away quickly; dont come anywhere near.
He shoots me a look but does as I say. Backing toward the spa as I pick up the phone, still holding his gaze.
Ever? The voice is clipped, urgent, and definitely belongs to Ava. Ever, I need you to listen, theres no time to explain. I stand there, numb, shell-shocked, still staring at Jude as she says, Somethings happened to Havenshes in troublebarely breathingwerewere gonna lose her if you dont get to Romans right away.
I shake my head, trying to make sense of it. Whatre you talking about? Whats going on?
I just need you to get herenowhurrybefore its too late!
Call nine-one-one! I shout, hearing a muffled sound, a struggle of sorts, then Romans smooth voice moves in.
Therell be none of that, luv, he purrs. Now be a good sport and get over here quick. Your friend wanted to see a fortune-teller, and now, unfortunately, her futures not looking so bright. Shes hanging by a thread, Ever. A thread, I tell you. So do the right thing and come over. Seems its time for you to solve the riddle.
I drop the phone and make for the gate, Jude following behind, begging me to explain. And when he makes the mistake of grabbing my shoulder, I turn and smack him so hard he flies through the yard and crashes into the lounge chairs.
Gaping at me in a tangle of limbs and outdoor furniture, struggling to stand as I glance over my shoulder and say, Grab your stuff and get out of here. I dont want to see you when I return.
Plunging through the gate and breaking into a run, hoping I can reach Haven before its too late.
CHAPTER 48
I run.
Past cars, houses, stray dogs and cats. Legs moving, muscles pumping, carrying me forward with hardly a thought. My body moving like a well-oiled machine with shiny new parts. And even though its only seconds, it feels like hours.
Hours since I last saw Haven.
Hours til Ill see her again.
And the second I get there I see him. Arriving at the same time as I do.
The mere sight of him causing everything to fadeof no possible consequence now that hes standing before me.
My heart caving as my mouth goes dry, overcome with such longing, I cant even speakgazing upon my sweet, wonderful Damenmore glorious than ever under the glow of the street-lights. The sound of my name on his lips, so charged, so loaded, its clear he feels the same.
I move toward him, pent-up emotions rising to the surface, bubbling over, Ive so much to tell him, so much to say. The words fading the second we meet and my bodys overtaken by tingle and heatwanting only to melt into him, to never be separated again
His hand at my back, propelling me closer, as Roman opens the door, glances between us, and says, Ever, Damen, so glad you could make it.
Damen charges the door, pinning Roman to the wall as I slip right past and head for the den, eyes seeking Haven only to find her stretched out across the couch, pale, unmoving, and from what I can tell, barely breathing.
I rush toward her, dropping to her side as I grasp her wrist, fingers seeking her pulse like I once did at Damens.
What did you do to her? I glare at Ava whos crouched right beside her, knowing shes working with Roman, theyre on the same team. What. Did you. Do? I repeat, knowing a swift kick to her root chakra, the center for vanity and greed, would take her down in an instant if it should come to that. Wondering if Damens already done the same, plunging his fist into Romans sacral center, and no longer caring if he did.
Not after what theyve done to my friend.
Ava looks at me, face pale against her wavy auburn hair, brown eyes wide and pleading, reminding me of somethingsomething Ive no time to graspwhen she says, I didnt do anything, Ever. I swear. I know you dont believe me, but its true
Youre right, I dont believe you. My focus back on Haven, pressing my palm to her forehead, her cheek, her skin cold and dry as her aura grows dimmer, darker, and her life-force energy slips away.
Its not what you thinkthey booked me for a readingsaid it was for a partyand when I showed upthis is what I found She gestures toward Haven and shakes her head.
But of course you showed up! Its your dear friend Roman after all. I gaze at Haven, searching for signs of abuse, but I cant see a thing. She looks peaceful, unaware, clueless to the fact that shes not long for this world. Well on her way to the next one, the Summerland, unless I can stop it.
I tried to helptried to
So why didnt you? Whyd you call Jude instead of nine-one-one? I glare at her as I reach for my bag, my phone, remembering too late that I came here without it, manifesting a new one just as Roman storms into the room.
I look past him for Damen, my heart lurching when I dont find him.
But Roman just laughs, shaking his head as he says, Moves a bit slower than me. He is older, you know! Snapping the manifested phone out of my hand when he adds, Trust me, luv. Its well beyond that. Seems your friend had herself a very potent cup of belladonna tea He motions toward a fine china cup on the table, its contents recently drained. Also known as deadly nightshade in case youre not familiar, and shes so far along, shes way beyond medical help. No, the only one who can save her now is you.
I narrow my gaze, unsure what he means, seeing Damen now standing behind him, eyes guarded, troubled, as they look into mine. And I know hes trying to tell me something, send a telepathic message I cant seem to grasp. Getting only the faintest echo of sound, but unable to determine the words.
This is it, Ever. Roman smiles. The moment youve been waiting for! He sweeps his arms wide, motioning toward Haven as though shes the grand prize.
I glance between him and Damen, still trying to receive Damens message, but nothing will come.
Romans eyes roaming over me, slowly taking me in, my bare feet, damp, clinging dress, wetting his lips as he says, Its real simple, darlin, simple enough for even you to decipher. Remember the day you came to my house and we talked about the price?
I glance at Damen, catching a flash of alarm, disbelief, hurt, before quickly looking away.
Oops! Roman lifts his shoulders and covers his mouth as he glances between us. Sorry. Forgot your unauthorized visit was our dirty little secret. Guess youll just have to forgive my indiscretion, what with the life and death circumstances were in. So just to catch you up to speedhe nods at Ava and DamenEver swung by my house looking to broker a deal. Seems shes extremely eager to bed her hunky boyfriend. He laughs, his gaze landing on Damen as he heads behind the bar, reaching for a cut crystal goblet and filling it with elixir as Damen fights to stay calm.
I take a deep breath but stay put. Knowing it wont make the slightest bit of difference if Romans dead or alive, either way hes still in control. His game. His rules. And I cant help but wonder how long hes been at ithow long Ive been fooling myself that Im actually making progress when Im just blindly following along. Just like the vision he showed me at school, all of us are under his rule.
Ever Damen looks at me, telepathy no longer working, forced to voice his thoughts to the room. Is this true?
I swallow hard and look away, not looking at either of them when I say, Just get to the point.
Always in such a hurry. Roman shakes his head and clucks his tongue against his cheek. Seriously, Ever, for someone with nothing but time, it doesnt make the slightest bit of sense. But fine, Ill play, so tell me, any clues, any ideas as to where this all leads?
I gaze at Haven, barely breathing, barely hanging on, unwilling to admit that I have no idea what he wants, no clue as to whats going on.
Remember the day when you came to see me at the store?
Damen shifts, I can feel his energy shift, but I just shake my head, glancing over my shoulder, eyes narrowed when I say, I went to see Haven, you just happened to be there.
Details. Roman waves it away. Its the riddle Im getting at. Remember the riddle I presented you with?
I sigh, grasping Havens hand in minecold, dry, and stillnot a good sign.
Give the people what they want. Remember when I said that? He pauses, waiting for me to respond, but when I dont he adds, The question iswhat does it mean, Ever? Exactly what do the people want? Any clues? He lifts his brow and waits, nodding when he adds, Try stepping out of yourself for a moment and take a more populist view. Go ahead, give it a whirl, try it on for size, see how it fits. Its quite unlike the elitist view you and Damen hold, I assure you of that. No hoarding of the gifts where I standI share them freely. Or at least with those I deem deserving.
I turn, turn until Im facing him, suddenly beginning to understand. Voice hoarse, barely discernible when I say, No!
Glancing between Roman and Haven as the truth of what he wants, the price he insists on, becomes clear.
No!
My gaze locked on Romans, as Ava and Damen remain silent, clueless as to whats truly transpiring here.
I wont do it, I tell him. Theres no way you can make me.
Wouldnt dream of it, luv. Wheres the fun in that? He smiles, slow, lazy, like the Cheshire cat. Just like you cant make me do your bidding with pathetic attempts at mind melds and the dark forces you so recently called upon. He laughs, wagging his finger at me as he adds, Youve been a very naughty girl, Ever. Messing with magick you dont understand. Never realized when I sold the book all those years ago itd end up in your hands. Or maybe I did? He shakes his head. Whos to say?
My eyes meet his, the truth of his words hitting me at full speed. Jude. Is he the one who sold the book to Jude? And if so, are they in this together?
Why are you doing this? I narrow my gaze. No longer caring that Damens now privy to my long list of betrayals, or what Avas thinking off in her corner, focusing only on him and meas though were alone in this creepy, Godforsaken room.
Well, its really rather simple. He smiles. Youre so set on drawing lines, setting yourself apartso nows your chance to really lay it down, nows your chance to prove youre nothing like me. And if you succeed, if you can prove beyond a doubt that were nothing alike, well then, Im fully prepared to give you what you want. Ill hand over the antidote to the antidote, the cure to the cure, and you and Damen can proceed to the honeymoon suite and have at it. Its what youve dreamed of all along, right? Its what youve been scheming for all this time. And all you have to do to get it is to let your friend die. If you let Haven die, the happily ever after is yours, satisfaction guaranteedmore or less.
No. I shake my head. No!
No to the antidote or the happily ever after? Which is it? He glances between his watch and Haven, smiling as he adds, Tick-tock, time to decide.
I move toward Haven, her breath coming hollow, frail, as Ava sits nearby, shaking her head, and Damenmy eternal lovemy soul matethe guy Ive failed in so many wayspleads with me not to do the very thing Im inclined to.
If you hesitate for too long, she dies. And if you bring her back, then, well, it can get a little messy, as you well know. But if you save her now, just slip her the elixir, well, shell wake up feeling fine. Better than fine. And, the best part is, shell stay that way forever. Which, after all, is exactly what the people want, isnt it? Eternal youth and beauty. Everlasting good health and vitality. No old age, no illness, no fear of death. An infinite horizon with no end in sight. So, which will it be, Ever? Stick to your high-minded, elitist, self-serving views, prove youre nothing like me, continue to hoard all the goods, say good-bye to your friendand the antidote is yours. Or He smiles, gaze fixed on mine. Save your friend. Give her the backstage pass to the sort of strength and beauty she could only dream of before. The very thing shes always longed for, the very thing everyone longs for. You dont have to say good-bye. Its entirely up to you. But, like I said, daylights burning, so you might wanna hurry.
I take in her pale, fragile face, knowing Im responsible, completely to blame. Vaguely aware of Damen beside me, urging, Ever, baby, please listen, you cant do it. You cant save her. Unwilling to look at him when he adds, You have to let her goits not about usnot about us being togetherwell find a way, I promised you that. You know the risk this bringsyou know you cant do thisnot after experiencing the Shadow-land, he whispers. You cant resign her to that.
Ooh! The Shadowlandsounds scary! Roman laughs and shakes his head. Dont tell me youre still meditating, mate? Still trekking the Himalayas searching for meaning?
I swallow hard and look away, ignoring them both. Mind crowded with arguments, both for and against, as Ava adds, Ever. Damens right.
I glare at her, the woman who betrayed me in the very worst way. Leaving Damen vulnerable and exposed after promising to look after him, a willing partner in Romans game.
I know you dont trust me, but its not what you think. Listen, Ever, please, I dont have time to explain, but if you wont listen to me, then listen to Damen, he knows what he says, you cant save your friend, you have to let her go
Spoken like a true rogue, I hiss, remembering how she took off with the elixir, which Ive no doubt she drank.
Its not what you think, she says, its nothing like that.
But Im no longer listening, my attention returning to Roman, now by my side, jiggling the goblet of elixir, the liquid flashing, sparking, as he swirls it around and around, warning me the time has come, its time for me to choose.
Haven wanted her fortune told, and who better to tell it than you, Avalon? Too bad Judes not here, or we could really have ourselves a partyor wakedepending on how things work out. What happened, Ever, you two looked pretty tight last time I checked.
I swallow hard, my friend now hanging by a string. A string I can either cutor
Hate to rush you, but its the moment of truth. Please dont disappoint Haven, she was so looking forward to her reading. So whats it going to be? What do the cards say? Does she liveor does she die? The future is yours to decide.
Ever, Damen says, hand on my arm, veil of energy hovering insistently between us, one more reminder of my mounting mistakes. You cant do it, please. You know its not right. As hard as this is, youve no choice but to say good-bye.
Oh, theres a choice. Roman jiggles the bottle again. Just how far are you willing to go to maintain your ideals and get the one thing you most want in the world?
Ever, please. Ava leans toward me. This is all wrong, its against the law of nature. You have to let her go.
I close my eyes. Unable to actunable to moveI cant do thisI cant make this choicehe cant make me do this
Romans voice hovering over me when he says, So I guess thats it then. He sighs and moves away. Good for you, Ever, you proved your point. Youre nothing like me. Nothing at all. Youre a true elitist, a person of lofty ideals, higher mind, and now you get to sleep with your boyfriend too! Well done! And to think all it cost is the life of your friend. Your poor, sad, lost friend, who only wanted what everyone else wantswhat you already have and are in the perfect position to share. Congratulationsshould I say?
He heads for the hall as I kneel before Haven, face streaming with tears as I gaze at my friend. My sad, lost, confused friend who didnt deserve any of this, whos always paying the price for befriending me. Damens and Avas murmuring voices beside me, a lullaby of promises, promising me Ill get through it, that I did the right thing, that itll all be okay.
And then I see it, the silver cord that attaches the body to the soul. Having heard about it but never actually seeing it until now. Watching as it stretches so thin its ready to snapsend my friend far from here and straight into Summerland
I spring to my feet, ripping the bottle from Romans grasp, and forcing Haven to drink.
Immune to the cries all around me, Avas piercing gasp, Damen begging me to stop, and Romans one-man applause accompanied by his loud vulgar laugh.
But I dont care about that.
I only care about her.
Haven.
I cant let her go.
Cant let her die.
Cant say good-bye.
Cradling her head in my arms and making her drinkthe color instantly returning to her cheeks as she opens her eyes and gazes at me.
What the? She struggles to sit, and looks all around. Squinting when she glances between me, Ava, Damen, and Roman, and says, Where am I?
I stare at her, mouth open, but with no idea what to say. Knowing that this is how Damen mustve felt with me, only this is much worse.
He didnt know about the death of the soul.
I did.
Damen and Ever decided to join us, luv, and guess what? The futures looking brighter than ever! Roman swoops in beside me and helps her to her feet, winking at me when he adds, You werent feeling so well, so Ever gave you some juice, thinking a little sugar might perk you right upand damn if it didnt work. And now, Ava, be a luv, and go fetch us some tea, would ya? Theres a new pot on the stove.
Ava gets to her feet, willing me to meet her gaze as she heads for the hall. But I wont. Cant. Cant look at anyone. Not after what Ive just done.
Glad to know youre on board, Ever. Roman pauses just shy of the door. Its like I saidyou and Iwere the same. Bound to each other for all of eternity. And not because of the spell, darlinbut because its our fateour destiny. Think of me as yet another soul mate. He laughs, voice a whisper when he adds, There, there, luv, dont look so shocked. I, for one, am not the least bit surprised. Youve never once strayed from the script. At least not so far.
CHAPTER 49
Damen leans toward me, his gaze like a hand on my arm, warm, inviting, luring me in. Ever, please, look at me, he says.
But I just continue to stare at the ocean, the water so black I cant even see it.
Black ocean, dark moon, and a friend whos headed for the Shadowland, thanks to me.
I climb out of his car and head for the edge, staring down the steep cliff at the darkness below. Drawn to the pull of his energy as he comes up behind me, hand on my shoulder, pulling me close to his chest as he says, Well get through thisyoull see.
I turn, needing to see him, wondering how he can say such a thing. How? I start, voice so frail its as though it belongs to somebody else. How will we do that? You gonna make her an amulet and insist she wear it every day?
He shakes his head, eyes boring into mine when he says, How can I make Haven wear hers when I cant even convince you to wear yours? His fingers drift to my neck, my chest, tracing the space where the crystals should be. What happened?
I turn, unwilling to look even worse in his eyes by explaining how I removed it, so overconfident in my misguided spell-casting attempt I set it aside.
What am I supposed to tell her? I whisper. How can I possibly explain what Ive done? How do you tell someone that youve given them eternal life, but if by chance they die, then their soul will be lost?
Damens lips looming close, warming my ear when he says, Well find a waywell
I shake my head and move away, staring into the black, avoiding his gaze. How can you say that? How can you
He comes up beside me, his mere presence heating my skin as he says, How can I what?
I swallow hard, unable to say it, to put into words all that Ive done. Allowing myself to be pulled into his arms, held tightly to his chest, wishing I could crawl right inside him, curl up next to his heart and stay there foreverthe safest shelter I could ever know.
How can I forgive a girl who loves her friend so much she cant bear to let her go? He tucks my hair behind my ear and lifts my chin, making me face him. How can I forgive a girl who sacrificed the one thing shes wanted all this time, all these years? Forfeiting the immediate hope of us being together so her friend could live? How can I forgive her, you ask? He looks at me, eyes searching mine. Its easy. Did I not make a similar choice when I first made you drink? And yet, what you did was so much bigger, motivated only by love, while my own actions werent quite so pure. I was far more interested in alleviating my suffering. He shakes his head. Convincing myself I did it for you, when the truth is, I was selfish and greedy, always interfering, never allowing you to choose for yourself. I brought you back for meits clear to me now.
I swallow hard, wishing I could believe himthat my decision was noble. But this is different. What I did was entirely different. I knew about the Shadowland, he didnt.
Looking at him as I say, And thats all fine until shes in trouble again, then the death of her soul is on me.
He gazes past me, out to an invisible ocean sending a continuous crash of waves to the shore. Both of us knowing theres nothing more to say. No words that can remedy this.
It wasnt I pause, feeling stupid for bringing it up now, in light of everything else, but still wanting him to know. It wasnt what you thinkabout me and Judethat day on the beach I shake my head. It wasnt what it seemed. His jaw tightens, his grip loosens, but I bring him back to me, having much more to say. I think hes an immortal. A rogue, like Roman. Damen stares at me, eyes narrowed when I add, I saw his tattoo, right on the small of his back Then realizing how that sounds, that I was actually in a position to get a close-up look at his bare lower back, I add, He was in his trunks and we were in the spa I shake my head, this isnt helping. It was a whole thing for Miless going-away partyandanyway, when Ava called, he turned and reached for the phone and I saw it. The snake eating its own tail. The Ouroboros. Just like Drina had, like the one Roman wears on his neck. Same thing.
Is it just like Romans?
I squint, unsure what he means.
Did it flash? Move? Fade in and out of view?
I swallow hard, and shake my head, wondering what difference it could make. I mean, sure I only saw it for a few seconds, no more than a glimpse, but still
He sighs and moves away, sitting on the hood of his car when he says, Ever, the Ouroboros itself isnt evil. Far from it. Roman and his tribe have distorted the meaning. Its actually an ancient alchemical symbol, signifying creation out of destruction, eternal lifethat sort of thing. Plenty of people have em, and the only thing it proves is that Jude has a thing for body art. Body art, and you.
I move toward him, wanting him to know that its not at all reciprocated. How could it be with Damen in the picture?
Realizing he heard my thoughts when he pulls me close and presses his lips to my ear. You sure? Its not the flashy car and magick tricks that won you over?
I shake my head and nuzzle closer, aware of the veil that hovers between us, thrilled our telepathy is working again. Fearing Id somehow broken it when we were back in that room.
Of course its working again, he thinks. Fear separatesmakes us feel alonedisconnectedwhile lovelove does just the oppositeit unites.
Its always been you, I say, needing to say the words out loud where we can both hear them. Just you. No one but you. I gaze into his eyes, hoping the wait is over, that we can forgo our three-month deal.
He cradles my face in his hands and presses his lips against mine. His warm loving presence the only answer I need. The only answer I want.
Knowing theres so much more to discussRoman, Haven, the twins, Jude, the Book, Avas returnbut knowing it can wait. For now I just want to revel in being with him.
Sliding my arms around his neck as he pulls me onto his lap, the two of us gazing out at something so dark, so vast, so infinite, so eternal, we both know its thereand yet we cant even see it.