I can, but your Vessel will be only as perfect as your sacrifice, and this woman is far from perfect.
But will you invest him with power that I can command?
I will.
Then my wish is that you accept this sacrifice. I will not wait for the mother when I can have the daughter, and the same blood, now.
As you wish, my heartless one. I grow weary of this. Kill her quickly and let us move on to other things.
Neferet didnt speak. She turned and walked over to the human. The woman was pathetic. She wasnt even struggling. All she was doing was sobbing silently as the tendrils of Darkness cut red swaths across her mouth and face, and all around her body where they bound her.
I need a blade. Now. Neferet held out her hand and instantly pain and cold filled it in the shape of a long, obsidian dagger. With one swift motion, Neferet slit Lindas throat. She watched the womans eyes widen and then roll to show only their whites as her lifes blood drained from her.
Catch all of it. Let none of the blood be wasted.
At the bulls command the tendrils of Darkness writhed all over Linda, attaching to her throat and to any other part of her body from which blood seeped, and began sucking. Mesmerized, Neferet saw that each pulsing tendril had a thread that returned to the bull, dissolving into his body, feeding him the humans blood.
The bull moaned in pleasure.
When the human was drained to a husk of herself, and the bull was thrumming and swollen with her death, Neferet gave herself to Darkness, utterly and completely.
Heath
Go long, Neal! Heath drew back his arm and aimed for the receiver in the Golden Hurricanes jersey with the name SWEENEY in bold letters across his back.
Sweeney caught it, and then feinted and dodged around a bunch of guys in crimson and cream OU uniforms to make the touchdown.
Yeah! Heath raised his fist, laughing and shouting. Sweeney could catch a gnat off a flys back!
Are you enjoying yourself, Heath Luck?
At the sound of the Goddesss voice Heath put away his fist pump and gave Nyx a semi-guilty smile. Uh, yeah. Its great here. Theres always a game I can quarterbackawesome receivers, great fans, and when I get tired of football theres that lake just down the street. Its stocked with bass that would make a pro fisherman cry.
What about girls? I see no cheerleaders, no fisherwomen.
Heaths smile faltered. Girls? No. Well. I only have one girl and shes not here. You know that, Nyx.
I was just checking. Nyxs smile was radiant. Would you sit and talk with me a moment?
Yeah, sure, Heath said.
Nyx waved her hand and the old-school replication of a college football stadium disappeared. Suddenly Heath found himself standing on the precipice of an enormous canyon, so deep that the river that roared through the bottom of it looked like only a thin silver thread. The sun was rising over the opposite bank of the ridge, and the sky was shaded with the violets and pinks and blues of a beautiful new day.
Movement in the air caught Heaths eye, and he noticed hundreds, maybe thousands of sparkling globes that were tumbling down into the gorge. He thought some of them looked like electric pearls, and others like geode balls, and still others were fluorescent colors so bright they almost hurt his eyes.
Wow! Its awesome up here! He shaded his eyes with his hand. What are those thingies?
Spirits, Nyx said.
Really, like ghosts or something?
A little. Mostly like you or something, Nyx said with a warm smile.
Well, thats just weird. I dont look anything like that. I look like me.
Right now you do, Nyx said.
Heath glanced down at himself, just to be sure he was still, well, him. Relieved at what he saw, he looked back at the Goddess. Should I get ready to change up?
That depends entirely upon you, Nyx said. As you would say in your world: I have a proposition for you.
Awesome! Its cool to be propositioned by a goddess! Heath said.
Nxy frowned at him. Not that kind of proposition, Heath.
Oh. Uh. Sorry. Heath felt his face getting really warm. Jeeze, he was a retard. I didnt mean anything disrespectful. I was just kidding He stuttered to a stop, wiping his face with his hand. When he looked at the goddess again, she was smiling wryly at him. Okay, he started again, relieved she hadnt blasted him with a thunderbolt or something. About that proposition?
Excellent. Its nice to know I have your full attention. My proposition is this: choice.
Heath blinked. Choice? Between what?
Im so pleased that you asked, Nyx said with only a little teasing sarcasm in her divine voice. Im going to give you a choice between three futures. You may choose one of the three, but know before you hear the choices that once you decide upon a path, the outcome is not setit is only your decision that is set. What happens thereafter is left up to chance and fate and the resources of your soul.
Okay, I think I get that. I get to pick something, but once I pick it Im pretty much on my own?
With my blessing, she added.
Heath grinned. Well, I hope so.
The Goddess didnt return his smile. Instead she met his gaze, and he saw all humor was gone from her expression. I give you my blessing, but only if you find my path. I cannot bless a future in which you choose Darkness.
Why would I do that? It doesnt even make sense, Heath said.
Hear me out, my son, and consider the choices I offer you; you will understand then.
Okay, he said, but something about the tone of her voice made his gut tighten.
Choice one is that you stay here in this realm. You will be content, as you have been. You will frolic eternally with my other joy-filled children.
Content doesnt mean happy, Heath said slowly. Im a jock, but that doesnt mean Im stupid.
Of course it doesnt, said the Goddess. Choice two: you fulfill your original intent and are reborn. That may mean you stay here and frolic for a century or more, but you will eventually leap from this precipice and return to the mortal realm to be reborn as a human who will eventually find his soul mate again.
Zoey! He spoke the one word that filled his mind, and as he spoke her name Heath wondered why it had taken him so long. What was wrong with him? Why had he forgotten her? Why hadnt he
Nyxs hand touched his arm gently. Do not punish yourself. The Otherworld can be intoxicating. You did not truly forget your loveyou never could. You simply allowed the child within you to rule for a time. He would, eventually, have given way to the adult, and you would have remembered Zoey and your love for her. Under normal circumstances that is the way of things. But the world today is not normal, nor are our circumstances. So, Im going to ask the child within you to grow up a little more quickly, if you so choose.
If it has to do with Zo, then I say yes.
Then hear me out, Heath Luck. You can find your Zoey again if you choose to be reborn as a human; I give you my promise on that. You and she are destined to be together, whether it is as vampyre and mate, or vampyre and consort. It will happen, and you can choose to make it happen in this lifetime.
Then I
Her upraised hand silenced him. There is a third option from which you may choose. As I speak to you the mortal world is shifting and turning. The great shadow of Darkness in the form of the white bull has gained an unexpected foothold. Good and evil are no longer balanced because of it.
Well, cant you just zap something and fix that?
I could if I hadnt gifted my children with free will.
You know, sometimes folks are stupid and they need to be told what to do, Heath said.
Nyxs expression remained serious, but her dark eyes sparkled. If I begin taking away free will and controlling the decisions of my sons and daughters, when does it end? Will I not simply become puppet master, and my children marionettes?
Heath sighed. I guess youre right. I mean, you are a goddess and all, so Im pretty sure you know what youre talkin about, but it does sound easier.
Easier is rarely better, she said.
Yeah, I know. And that sucks, Heath said. So what about my third choice? Are you trying to tell me it has something to do with good and evil?
I am. Neferet has become an immortal, a creature of Darkness. This night she has allied herself with the purest evil that can manifest in the mortal realm, that of the white bull.
I know about that. I saw something like that try to get to us when I was first dead.
Nyx nodded. Yes, the white bull was awakened by the shifts of good and evil in the mortal world. It has been eons since he roamed between realms as he is doing today. Heath was disturbed to see the Goddess shiver.
Whats going on? Whats happening down there?
Neferet is being gifted with a Vessel, an empty, golem-type creature, created by Darkness through a terrible sacrifice and lust and greed and hatred and painthat she can control completely. He will be her ultimate weapon, or at least that is what she desires. Had her sacrifice been more perfect, the Vessel would be the perfect weapon of Darkness, but there is a flaw in his creation, and that is where your choice comes in, Heath.
I dont get it, Heath said.
The Vessel is meant to be a soulless machine, but because the sacrifice that fed his creation went awry, I am able to touch him.
Like he has an Achilles heel?
Yes, a little like that. Should you choose this option I would use the flaw in the creatures creation, and through that weakness I would insert your soul into an otherwise empty Vessel.
Heath blinked, trying to take in the enormity of what the Goddess was saying. Would I know Im me?
You would only know that which all reborn souls knowthe most refined essence of what you are. That never fades, no matter how many lifetimes you circle through. Nyx paused, smiled, and added, And, of course, should you choose, you will also know love. That, too, never fades. It is only suppressed or missed or set aside to circle back around.
Wait, hang on. This creature is in Zoeys world? Right now?
He is being created this night in Zoeys modern world, yes.
By Neferet, Zos enemy?
Yes.
So Neferet is gonna use this guy against my Zo? Heath felt totally pissed.
I am quite sure that is her intent, Nyx said.
Huh, he snorted. With me inside him, she can try, but shes not gonna get very far.
Before you make your final choice, you must understand: you will not know yourself. Heath will be gone. Only your essence will remainnot your memories. And you will be dwelling within a being created to destroy that which you love most. You may very well succumb to Darkness.
Nyx, bottom line: does Zo need me?
She does, the Goddess said.
Then I pick the third choice. I want to be put in the Vessel, Heath said.
Nyxs smile was radiant. I am proud of you, my son. Know that you return to the modern world with my very special blessing.
From the air above her, the Goddess plucked a single strand of something that Heath thought looked like a shimmering thread of silver so bright and shining and beautiful that it made him gasp. She circled her fingers, so that the strand grew to a quarter-sized orb that glistened and glowed with an ancient, special light like a moonstone illuminated from within.
Thats so totally cool! What is it?
Magick of the oldest kind. It is rarely present in the modern world; it does not suffer civilization well. But the white bulls ancient magick created the Vessel, so it is only right that my ancient magick be there, too.
As Nyx continued to speak, her voice took on a singsong tone that seemed to mix with and complement the beauty of the orb.
A window within the soul to see
Light and Magick I send with thee
Be strong, be brave, make the right choice
Though Darkness shouts with a terrible voice
Know that I am watching from above
And that always, always, the answer is love!
The Goddess flung the glowing orb at him and it filled Heaths eyes, blinding him with its magick light and causing him to stagger backward so that he felt himself toppling over the edge of the gorge and falling, falling
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Neferet
Her body ached, but Neferet didnt mind. The truth was, she enjoyed the pain. She drew in a deep breath, automatically pulling to her the remnants of the white bulls power that slithered in the shadows forming in the gloaming of predawn. Darkness strengthened her. Neferet ignored the gore that covered her skin. She stood.
The bull had left her on the balcony of her penthouse suite. Kalona was not within. But that mattered little to her. She didnt want him anymore because after tonight she wouldnt need him.
Neferet faced north, the direction allied with the element earth. She raised her arms and began weaving her fingers through the air, combing invisible, powerful, ancient threads of magick and Darkness. Then, in a voice devoid of all emotion, Neferet spoke the incantation as the bull had instructed her.
From earth and blood you have been born
A pact with Darkness I have sworn
Filled with power youll hear only my voice
Your life is mine; you have no choice
Complete the bulls pledge this night
And always, always revel in his terrible Dark light!
The Tsi Sgili flung the inferno of Darkness that had swarmed to her hands down before her. It hit the stone balcony floor and pillar-like erupted up, swirling, writhing, changing
Neferet watched, mesmerized, as the Vessel took form, its body coalescing from the pillar of brilliance that reminded her so much of the white bulls pearl-colored coat. Finally it stood therehe stood before her. Neferet shook her head in wonder.
He was beautiful, an utterly gorgeous young male. Tall, and strong, and perfectly formed. The average person would see no hint of Darkness about him. The skin that covered his mighty muscles was smooth and blemish-free. His hair was long and thick and the blond of summer wheat. His features were perfecthe was flawless in his façade.
Kneel to me, and I will give you your name.
The Vessel obeyed instantly, dropping to one knee before her.
Neferet smiled and put her blood-spattered hand on the top of his silky blond head. I shall call you Aurox, after the ancient bulls of old.
Yes, mistress. I am Aurox, the Vessel said.
Neferet began to laugh and laugh and laugh, not caring that hysteria and madness tinged her voice, not caring that she left Aurox kneeling on the stone rooftop awaiting her next command, and not caring that as she walked away the Vessel watched her with eyes that glistened and glowed with an ancient, special light like moonstones illuminated from within
Zoey
Yeah, I know Nyx forgave him and turned him into a kid. Kinda, cause I dont know about you, but I dont know any other kid who turns into a bird during the day. Stark sounded super tired, but not super tired enough to stop worrying.
Thats his consequence for all the bad stuff hes done, I told Stark, curling up against him and trying to ignore the Jessica Alba poster on the wall. Stark and I had taken over Dallass room in the tunnels under the depot. Id done some elemental zapping, and everyone had done a lot of good old-fashioned cleaning. We still had quite a way to go, but at least the place was habitable and a Neferet-Free Zone.
Right, but its still weird that up until just a little while ago he was Kalonas favorite son, and a Raven Mocker, Stark continued.
Hey, Im not disagreeing with you. Its weird for me, too, but I trust Stevie Rae and she loves him. I squinched up my face, making Stark smile. Even before he got rid of that beak and those feathers. Jeesh, eew. I gotta get the whole story from her. I paused, thinking. I wonder whats happening right now between them.
Not much. The sun just came up. Hes a bird. Hey, did Stevie Rae say she was going to put him in a cage, or what?
I smacked him. She didnt say anything like that and you know it!
Makes sense to me. Stark yawned hugely. But whatever she does, youll have to wait till sunset to hear about it.
Past your bedtime, little boy? I asked, grinning up at him.
Little boy? Are you sassing me, girl?
Sassing? I giggled. Yeah, of course. Heehees!
Come here, wumman!
Stark started to tickle me like crazy and I tried to retaliate by pulling the hairs on his arms. He yelped (like a little girl) and then the whole thing turned into a wrestling match where I, somehow, ended up being pinned.
Do you give? Stark asked me. With one hand he had both of my wrists and was holding my arms over my head, tickling my ear with his panting breath.
No way; youre not the boss of me. I struggled (futilely). Okay, so I admit I didnt struggle very hard. I mean, he was pressed against me and totally not hurting melike Stark would ever hurt meand he was super hot, and I loved him. Actually, Im going easy on you. All I have to do is call my mega cool element powers and your cute butt will be kicked.
Cute, huh? You think my butt is cute?
Maybe, I told him, trying not to smile. But that doesnt mean I wont call the elements to kick it.
Well then I better keep your mouth busy so you cant do that, he said.
When he started kissing me I thought about what a strange and wonderful thing it was that something so simple, just a kiss, could make me feel so much. His lips against mine were soft, and an amazing contrast to his hard body. As he kept kissing me I quit thinking about how wonderful it was because he made me stop thinking. All I did was feel: his body, my body, our pleasure.
So I hadnt really been thinking about the fact that he was still holding my arms by my wrists, trapped over my head. I didnt think about it when his free hand slid up the extra-large Superman T-shirt I was using as pjs. I still didnt think about it when his hand moved from under my shirt to the top of my panties. I only started to think about it when his kiss changed. It went from soft and deep to hard. Too hard. It was like hed suddenly become starving, and I was the meal that ended his famine.
I tried to pull my wrists from his hand, but his grip was solid.
I turned my head and his lips left my mouth to make a hot trail down my neck. I was trying to get my head togethertrying to figure out what was bothering me so muchwhen he bit me. Hard.
The bite wasnt like before, like our first time on Skye. Then it had been something wed shared. Something we both had wanted. This time he was rough and possessive and it was definitely not something we were sharing.
Ouch! I jerked my wrists and managed to break one hand free of his hold. With it I shoved at his shoulder. Stark, that hurt.
He moaned and ground his body against me, like I hadnt spoken or pushed him. I felt his teeth against my skin again and this time I yelled and, with my emotions as well as my body I shoved harder at himchanneling lots of Seriously! Youre hurting me!
He lifted himself up on his elbows and his gaze met mine. For a flash that lasted less than a second, I saw something within his eyes that made my soul shiver. I flinched back, Stark blinked, and looked at me with a total question mark that turned into shock. Instantly he let go of my wrist.
Shit! Im so sorry, Zoey. Jesus, Im sorry! Are you hurt?
He was patting my body down a little frantically and I batted away his hands, frowning at him. What do you mean, am I hurt? What the hecks wrong with you? That was way too rough.
Stark wiped a hand down his face. I didnt realizeI dont know why He broke off, took a deep breath, and started again. Im sorry. I didnt know I was hurting you.
You bit me.
He rubbed his face again. Yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It hurt. I rubbed my neck.
Let me see.
I moved my hand away and he studied my neck. Its a little red, thats all. He bent and kissed the sore place uber-gently, and then said, Hey, I really didnt think I bit you that hard. Seriously, Z.
Seriously, Stark, you did. And you wouldnt let go of my wrists when I told you to.
Stark blew out a long breath. Okay, well, Ill be sure that doesnt happen again. Its just that I want you so much, and you turn me on so much
He paused and I finished his sentence, that you cant control yourself? What the hell?
No! No, thats not it. Zoey, you cant think thats it. Im your Warrior, your Guardianits my job to protect you from anyone who might hurt you.
Does that include yourself? I asked.
His gaze met mine and held. In his familiar eyes I saw confusion and sadness and lovea lot of love. That includes myself. Do you really think Id actually hurt you?
I sighed. What the hell was I making such a big deal about? So, hed gotten carried away, grabbed my wrists, bit me, and not jumped the second I told him how high. He was a guy. What was that old saying? If it has tires or testicles, its gonna give you problems.
Zoey, really, I would never let you be hurt. I gave you my oath, plus I love you and
Okay, sssh. I pressed my finger against his lips, shutting him up. No, I dont think youd let anything hurt me. Youre tired. The suns up. Weve had a crazy day. Lets just sleep and agree to no more biting.
That sounds good to me. Stark held open his arms. Would you come here?
I nodded and spider-monkied him. His touch was normal: strong and secure, but very, very gentle.
Ive been having sleep issues, he said hesitantly, after he kissed the top of my head.
I know you haveIve been sleeping with you. Its been kinda obvious. I kissed his shoulder.
Not going to ask me if I want to go into therapy with Dragon Lankford this time?
He stayed. He didnt leave the House of Night with us, I said.
None of the professors did. Lenobia stayed, and you know shes one hundred percent behind us.
Yeah, but she cant leave those horses, and theres no way we can get them down here, I said. Anyway, Dragons different. He feels different to me. He wouldnt forgive Rephaim, even after Nyx basically told him he should.
I could feel Stark nodding. That was bad. But, ya know, I wouldnt be into forgiving someone who killed you, either.
It would be like me forgiving Kalona for Heath, I said quietly.
Starks arms held me closer. Could you do that?
I dont know. I honestly dont know I hesitated, my words stumbling.
He nudged me. Go ahead. You can tell me.
I threaded my fingers through his and said, In the Otherworld, when you were, uh, deadI could hardly speak the word and hurried onNyx was there.
Yeah, you told me that. She made Kalona pay his life debt for killing Heath, and bring me alive.
Well, what I didnt tell you was that Kalona got super emotional in front of Nyx. He asked her if she would ever forgive him.
What did the Goddess say?
She said to ask again if he was ever worthy of her forgiveness. Actually, Nyx sounded a lot like she did tonight when she was talking to Neferet.
Stark snorted. Not a good sign for Neferet or Kalona.
Yeah, no kidding. Anyway, my point is, well, not that Im pretending to be a goddess or anything like that, but my answer about forgiving Kalona is a lot like Nyxs to him and Neferet. I think real forgiveness is a gift someone has to earn, and I dont even have to worry about Kalona asking for my forgiveness unless hes worthy of even considering it, and I just dont see that happening.
He set Rephaim free tonight, though. I could hear the conflicting emotions in his voice. I understood them. I had them, too.
Ive been thinking about that, and all I can figure is that somehow setting Rephaim free is going to benefit Kalona, I said.
Which means we need to keep an eye on Rephaim, Stark said. You gonna mention that to Stevie Rae?
Yeah, but she loves him, I said.
He nodded again. And when you love someone you dont always see them realistically.
I drew back just far enough to give him The Look. Are you saying that from experience?
No, no, no, he said quickly, giving me his tired, but cocky grin. Not experience, just observation. Stark pulled gently and I curled against him again. Its time for sleepin now. Lay yur head, wumman, and let me get my rest.
Okay, seriously, you sound creepily like Seoras. I looked up at Stark and shook my head. If you start growing a white goatee beard thingie like his Im gonna fire you.
Stark rubbed his chin with one hand like he was considering it. You cant fire me. Ive signed on for life.
Ill stop kissing you.
Nae beard for me, lassie. He grinned.
I smiled back at him, thinking how glad I was hed signed up for life, and how much I hoped that meant he had his job for a very, very long time. Hey, how about this: you fall asleep first, and Ill stay awake for a while? I cupped his cheek. Tonight Ill guard the Guardian.
Thank you, he said, being way more serious than I expected. I love you, Zoey Redbird.
I love you, too, James Stark.
Stark turned his head and kissed the inside of my palm and the intricate tattooing the Goddess had placed there. As he closed his eyes and his body began to relax, I stroked his thick brown hair and wondered briefly if or when Nyx would add to my incredible tattooing. Shed given me Marks, taken them awayor at least my friends said they went away while my soul was in the Otherworldand then Nyx returned them to me again when I returned to myself. Maybe I was set nowmaybe I wouldnt get any more. I was trying to decide whether that was a good or a bad thing when my eyelids got way too heavy to keep open. I thought Id shut them, just for a little while. Stark was definitely sleeping, so maybe it wouldnt hurt anything
* * *
Dreams are so weird. I was having a dream that I was flying like Supermanyou know, with my hands out in front of me kinda guiding me, and the theme music for the cool old Superman movies, the ones with the awesome Christopher Reeve, was playing in my head when everything changed.
The theme song was replaced by my moms voice.
Im dead! she said.
Nyxs voice responded right away, Yes, Linda, you are.
My stomach clenched. Its a dream. Its just a really bad dream!
Look down, my child. It is important that you bear witness. When the Goddesss voice whispered through my mind I knew reality had seeped into the Realm of Dreams.
I didnt want to. I really, really didnt want to, but I looked down.
Below me was what Id come to think of as the entrance to Nyxs Realm. There was the vast Darkness into which Id jumped to get my spirit back into my body. Then there was a carved stone archway above hard packed dirt, and on the other side of the arch stretched Nyxs magickal grove, beginning with the ethereal hanging tree that was a magnified version of the one Stark and I had tied our dreams for each other on during that wonderful day on the Isle of Skye.
And just inside the Otherworld arched entrance stood my mom, facing Nyx.
Mom! I called, but neither the Goddess nor my mom reacted to my voice.
Bear witness silently, my child.
So I hovered above them and watched while soundless tears washed down my face.
My mom was staring at the Goddess. Finally, she said in a small, scared voice, So is God a girl, or did my sins send me to Hell?
Nyx smiled. Here we are not worried with past sins. Here, in my Otherworld, we care only about your spirit and what essence it chooses to carry with it: Light or Darkness. It is a simple thing, really.
Mom chewed her lip for a second, and then said, Which does mine carry, Light or Darkness?
Nyxs smile didnt waver. You tell me, Linda. Which have you chosen?
My heart squeezed as I watched my mom start to cry. Until recently, I think Ive been more on the bad side.
There is a great deal of difference between being weak and being evil, Nyx said.
Mom nodded. I was weak. I didnt want to be. Its just that my life was like a snowball rolling down a mountain, and I couldnt find my way out of the avalanche. But I was trying there at the end. Thats why I was at Mothers house. I was going to make my life my own againand get back together with my daughter Zoey. Shes Mom stopped. Her eyes widened in understanding. Youre Zoeys Goddess, Nyx!