Thats right. Listen to Dragon. When you can think again, you can find a thread of the Goddess inside you. Follow that thread. Remember there is an Otherworld we can all share. Jacks there now. Someday youll see him again there.
Damien looked from Stevie Rae to the Sword Master. Have you been able to do that? Does it make losing Anastasia any easier?
Nothing makes her loss easier. Right now I am still searching for the thread to our Goddess.
Rephaim felt a horribly sick jolt within him as he realized he had caused the pain the Sword Master was feeling. He had killed the spells and rituals professor, Anastasia Lankford. She had been Dragons mate. He had done it so coldly, with an absolute lack of any feeling except, perhaps, annoyance at being detained for the short time it had taken him to overpower and destroy her.
I killed her with no thought for anything or anyone except my need to follow Father, to do his bidding. I am a monster.
Rephaim couldnt stop looking at the Sword Master. He carried his pain like a cloak around him. He could almost literally see the empty hole his mates absence had left in his life. And Rephaim, for the first time in his centuries-long life, felt remorse for his actions.
He didnt think hed made any sound, any movement, but he knew when Stevie Raes gaze found him. Slowly, he looked from Dragon to the vampyre with whom he was Imprinted. Their eyes met; their gazes locked. Her emotions engulfed him as if shed purposely directed them to him. First, he felt her shock at seeing him. It left him flushed and almost embarrassed. Then he felt sadnessdeep, jagged, painful. He tried to telegraph his own sorrow to her, hoping that somehow she would be able to understand how much he missed her and how sorry he was for having any part in the grief she was experiencing. Anger hit him then with such a force Rephaim almost lost his grip on the stone wall. He shook his head back and forth, back and forth, not sure whether it was in denial of her anger, or the reason for it.
I want you and Duchess to come with me, Damien. Yall need to get away from this place. Bad things have happened here. Bad things are still lurkin round here. I can feel it. Lets go. Now. She spoke to the kneeling boy, but her gaze never left Rephaims.
The Sword Masters response was swift. His eyes swept the area and Rephaim froze, willing the shadows and the night to cloak him.
What is it? Whats here? Dragon asked.
Darkness. Stevie Rae was still staring at him when she spoke that single word as if throwing a dagger into his heart. Tainted, unredeemable Darkness. Then she turned her back on him dismissively. My gut says its not anything worth raisin your sword against, but lets get outta here just the same.
Agreed, Dragon said, though Rephaim heard reluctance in his voice.
He will be a force to be reckoned with in the future, Rephaim acknowledged to himself. And what about Stevie Rae? His Stevie Rae. What will she be? Could she really hate me? Could she utterly reject me? He sifted through her feelings as he watched her take Damiens hand and help him to his feet, and then lead him, the dog, cat, and Dragon away toward the dormitories. He certainly felt her anger and her sorrow, and he understood those feelings. But hatred? Did she really hate him? He didnt know for sure, but Rephaim believed, deep in his heart, that he deserved her hatred. No, he hadnt killed Jack, but he was allied with the forces that had.
I am my fathers son. Its all I know how to be. It is my only choice.
After Stevie Rae was gone Rephaim pulled himself up to the top of the wall. He took a running start and leaped into the sky. Beating against the night with his massive wings, he circled around the watchful campus and headed back to the roof of the Mayo building.
I deserve her hatred I deserve her hatred I deserve her hatred
The litany pounded through his mind in time with his wing strokes. His own despair and grief joined with the echo of Stevie Raes sadness and anger. The dampness of the cool night sky mixed with his tears as Rephaims face was bathed in moonlight and loss.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Stevie Rae
Oh, for shits sake! Are you telling me no one has called Zoey? Aphrodite said.
Stevie Rae took Aphrodite by the elbow and, with a grip that was maybe firmer than technically necessary, guided her to the door in Damiens dorm room. At the doorway she paused and both girls looked back at the bed, where Damien was curled up with Duchess and his cat, Cameron. Boy, dog, and cat had finally, just minutes before, fallen into a sleep induced by grief and exhaustion.
Silently, Stevie Rae pointed her finger from Aphrodite to the hallway. Aphrodite sneered. Stevie Rae crossed her arms and planted herself. Outside, she mouthed, now. Then she followed her out of the room and closed the door softly behind them. And keep your dang voice down out here, too, Stevie Rae whispered fiercely.
Fine. Ill keep it down. Jack is dead and no one has called Z? she repeated her question, much less loudly.
No. I havent exactly had time. Damien has been hysterical. Duchess has been hysterical. The schools in a dang uproar. Im the only effing High Priestess who isnt, supposedly, locked away in her room praying or whatever, so Ive been busy handling the shit storm out here and the fact that a really nice boy just died.
Yeah, I understand that and Im sad, too, and all, but Zoey needs to get here and get here now. If you were too busy to do it, then you should have let one of the professors call her. The sooner she knows the sooner shell be on her way here.
Darius hurried up to them and took Aphrodites hand.
It was Neferet, right? That bitch killed Jack, Aphrodite asked him.
Not possible, Darius and Stevie Rae said together. Stevie Rae flashed Aphrodite an annoyed I told you so look as Darius went on to explain. Neferet was, indeed, in the school Council Meeting when Jack fell from the ladder. Not only did Damien see Jack fall, but another witness corroborates the time. Drew Partain was crossing the grounds when he heard the music Jack was singing to. He said he only heard part of the song because the bell clock on Nyxs Temple began chiming midnight, or at least that was why he thought he didnt hear any more of Jacks voice.
But really thats when Jack died, Stevie Rae said, her voice gone hard and flat because that was the only way she could keep from sounding as shaky as she felt.
Yes, the timing is right, Darius said.
And youre sure Neferet was in the meeting then? Aphrodite said.
I heard the clock gonging while she was talking, Stevie Rae said.
I still dont believe for an instant shes not behind his death, Aphrodite said.
Im not disagreein with you, Aphrodite. Neferet is slicker than hen crap on a tin roof, but facts are facts. She was in front of all of us when Jack fell off that ladder.
Okay, seriously, eew with your bumpkin analogies. And how about the whole sword thing? How the hell could it have accidentally she air quotedalmost sliced his head off?
Swords should be positioned hilt down, point up. Dragon explained that to Jack. As the boy fell on the blade, the hilt was driven into the ground, impaling him. Technically, it could have been an accident.
Aphrodite wiped a shaking hand across her face. Thats horrible. Really horrible. But it was no damn accident.
I dont think any of us believe Neferet is innocent of the boys death, but what we believe and what we can prove are two different things. The High Council has already ruled once in Neferets favor and, basically, against us. If we go to them with more supposition and no proof of her wrongdoings, we will only discredit ourselves more, Darius said.
I get that, but it pisses me off, Aphrodite said.
It pisses us all off, Stevie Rae said. Bad. Real bad.
Picking up on the unusually hard edge in Stevie Raes voice, Aphrodite lifted an eyebrow at her. Yeah, and lets use some of that pissed off to kick that cow the hell outta here once and for all.
Whats your idea? Stevie Rae said.
First, get Zoeys vacationing butt back here. Neferet hates Z. Shell come against hershe always does. Only this time well all be watching and waiting and well get proof not even the Neferet-loving High Council will be able to ignore. Without waiting for a response from either of them, Aphrodite pulled her iPhone from her metallic Coach clutch, punched in her code, and said, Call Zoey.
I was gonna do that, Stevie Rae said.
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. Whatever. Youre too. Damn. Late. Plus, youre too damn nice. What Z needs is a big dose of get-your-shit-together-and-do-the-right-thing. Im the girl to feed it to her. She paused, listened, and rolled her eyes again. Its her revolting Disney Channelsounding Hey guys! Leave me a message and have an awesome day voice mail, Aphrodite quoted in an uber-bubbly voice. She drew a breath, waiting for the beep.
And Stevie Rae grabbed the phone from her hand, speaking quickly into it. Z, its me, not Aphrodite. I need you to call me the second you get this. Its important. She hit the end button to hang up and squared off against Aphrodite. Okay, lets get somethin real straight. Just because I try to be a decent human being, it does not mean Im too nice. Its bad enough what happened to Jack. Learnin bout it in a message is super, super bad. Plus, I dont think its a good idea to freak Zoey out like that, specially so soon after her soul being shattered.
Aphrodite snatched the iPhone from Stevie Rae. Look. We do not have time to tiptoe around Zoeys feelings. She needs to put on her big-girl High Priestess panties and deal.
No, you look. Stevie Rae stepped forward and into Aphrodites personal space, making Darius automatically move closer to her. Z doesnt need to put on High Priestess panties. She is one. But shes been through losin someone she loves. Thats somethin you obviously just dont get. Watchin out for her feelings right now isnt about babyin her. Its about bein her friend. Sometimes all of us just need a little protection from our friends. She glanced at Darius, shaking her head. No, that doesnt mean you need to protect Aphrodite from me. Jeeze, Darius, whats wrong with you?
Darius caught and held her gaze. For a moment your eyes flashed red.
Stevie Rae made sure her expression didnt change. Yeah, well, Im not surprised. Watchin Neferet walk away without paying any consequences for what happened to Jack has been pretty hard for me to take. Youd feel the same way if youd been here and saw it go down.
I imagine I would, but my eyes would not glow red, Darius said.
Die and un-die and then talk to me bout that, Stevie Rae said. She turned to Aphrodite. I have stuff I gotta do while Damien is sleepin. Are you and Darius gonna stay here and keep an eye on him? Not for one hot second do I believe Neferet is really locked away in her room praying to Nyx for the rest of the night like she wants everyone to believe.
Yeah, well stay, Aphrodite said.
If he wakes up, be nice, Stevie Rae said.
Dont be a jerk. Of course Ill be nice.
Good. Ill be back pretty soon, but if you need a break, call the Twins and theyll relieve you.
Whatever. Goodbye.
Bye. Stevie Rae hurried down the hallway, feeling Dariuss questioning gaze following her with an intensity that was a physical weight. I have to stop letting Darius make me feel guilty! she told herself roughly. I havent done anything wrong. So what if my eyes glow red when Im pissed? It doesnt have anything to do with the fact that Ive Imprinted with Rephaim. I left him. Tonight I ignored him. Yeah, I have to find him and ask what the hell he knows about what happened to Jack, but not because I want to. Because I have to. She told that big ol lie silently to herself, and was so distracted by her thoughts that she almost ran smack into Erik.
Hey, uh, Stevie Rae. Is Damien okay?
Well, what do you think, Erik? His boyfriend who he loved just died in a real horrible way. No, hes not okay. But he is sleepin. Finally.
You know, you dont have to be like that. I really am worried about him, and I cared about Jack, too.
Stevie Rae took a good look at Erik. He did look like crap, which was totally unusual for pretty-boy Erik. And hed obviously been crying. Then she remembered that hed been Jacks roommate, and also had been real sweet about standing up for Jack when that asshole Thor tried to pick on him for being gay. Sorry, she said, touching Eriks arm. Im just upset bout all this, too. I got no reason to be a B to you. Here, Ill start over. She took a breath and smiled sadly. Damiens sleepin right now, but hes not okay. Hell be needin friends like you when he wakes up. Thanks for askin and thanks for bein here for him.
Erik nodded and squeezed her hand briefly. Thanks back at you. I know you dont like me much, what with the stuff that went down between Zoey and me, but I really am Damiens friend. Let me know if theres anything I can do to help. Erik paused, glancing up and down the hallway, as if to be sure they were alone, and then he took a step closer to Stevie Rae and lowered his voice. Neferet had something to do with this, didnt she?
Stevie Raes eyes widened in surprise. What makes you say that?
I know shes not what she pretends to be. Ive seen her be her real self, and its not pretty.
Yeah, well, youre right. Neferets real self isnt pretty. But just like me you saw that she was right in front of us when Jack died.
Still, you think shes behind this.
It wasnt a question, but Stevie Rae nodded a silent yes answer.
I knew it. This House of Night sucks. I was right to say yes to the L.A. House of Night.
Stevie Rae shook her head. So thats it? Thats what you do when you know somethin evil is happening? You run away.
What can one vampyre do against Neferet? The High Council reinstated her; theyre on her side.
One vampyre cant do much. A whole bunch of us joining together can.
A few kids and a vamp here and there? Against a powerful High Priestess and the High Council? Thats insanity.
No, whats insanity is steppin aside and lettin the bad guys win.
Hey, I have a life waiting for mea good one, with a kick-ass acting career, fame, fortune, all that stuff. How can you blame me for not wanting to get mixed up in the Neferet mess?
You know what, Erik? All Im gonna say to you is this: evil wins when good folks do nothing, Stevie Rae said.
Well, Im technically doing something. Im leaving. Hey, did you ever think about thiswhat if all the good folks leave and evil gets bored playing all by itself and goes home, too?
I used to think you were the coolest guy Id ever met, she said sadly.
Eriks blue eyes glinted with humor and he beamed his one-hundred-watt smile at her. And now you know I am?
Nope. Now I know youre a weak, selfish boy whos gotten almost everything he ever wanted just cause of his looks. And thats not cool at all. She shook her head at his stunned look and began walking away. Over her shoulder she called back, Maybe someday youll find somethin you care about enough to stand up for.
Yeah, and maybe someday you and Zoey will figure out its not really your job to save the world! he shouted after her.
Stevie Rae didnt so much as glance back at him. Erik was a tool. The Tulsa House of Night would be better without his weak butt dragging them down. The going was going to get really tough, and that meant the tough needed to get goingand the sissies needed to get gone. Just like John Wayne, it was time to rally the troops.
And, hell no, its not weird that my troops include a Raven Mocker, Stevie Rae muttered to herself as she hurried out to the parking lot and Zs Bug. Im not really gonna rally him. Im just gonna get info from him. Again. Purposefully, she shut her mind to what had happened between her and Rephaim last time shed just needed information from him.
Hey, Stevie Rae, you and me gotta
Not pausing in her rush to the car, Stevie Rae held up a hand and cut Kramisha off. Not now. I dont have time.
Im just sayin that
No! Stevie Rae shouted her frustration at Kramisha, who stopped and stared at her. Whatever it is you want to be sayin to me, it can keep. I dont like soundin mean to you, but I have things I have to do and exactly two hours and five minutes until the sun comes up to do them in. Then she left Kramisha standing in her dust as she jogged the final few feet to the Bug, started it, put it into gear, and practically peeled out of the student parking lot.
It took her exactly seven minutes to get to the Gilcrease grounds. She didnt drive the car up there. The ice storm had been cleaned up and the electric gate was working again, so everything was shut up tightly. Stevie Rae pulled the Bug off the side of the road behind a big tree. Automatically cloaking herself with the power she filtered from the earth, she went directly to the ramshackle mansion.
The door was no problem. No one had bothered to relock it yet. Actually, as she made her way through the old house and up to the rooftop, she detected very little change from the last time shed been there.
Rephaim? she called his name. Her voice sounded eerie and too loud in the cold, empty night.
The door to the closet where hed made his nest was open, but he wasnt crouched within.
She went out onto the rooftop balcony. That, too, was empty. The entire place was deserted. But shed known he wasnt here since shed stepped onto the museum grounds. Had Rephaim been here she would have felt him, just like shed felt him earlier when hed been at the House of Night, watching her. Their Imprint connected themas long as it was there, unbroken, it would tie them together.
Rephaim, where are you now? she asked the silent sky. And then Stevie Raes thoughts slowed and rearranged themselves, and she had the answer; shed had it all along. All shed had to do was to get her pride and her hurt and her anger out of the way and the answer was there, waiting. Their Imprint connected themas long as it was there, unbroken, it would tie them together. She didnt have to find him. Rephaim would find her.
Stevie Rae sat down in the middle of the roof and faced north. She drew a long, deep breath and let it out. With her next breath she concentrated on drawing in all of the scents of the earth surrounding her. She could smell the cold dampness of the winter-bare boughs, the crispness of the frozen ground, the richness of the Oklahoma sandstone that littered the grounds. Drawing the earths strength with her breath, Stevie Rae said, Find Rephaim. Tell him to come to me. Tell him I need him. Then she released the earth power with her exhalation. Had her eyes been open, Stevie Rae would have seen the green glow that hovered around her. She would have also seen that as it rushed off into the night to do her bidding, it was shadowed by a scarlet glow.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Rephaim
Hed been circling the Mayo building, dreading landing and facing Kalona and Neferet, when he felt Stevie Raes call. He knew it was her instantly. He recognized the feel of the earth as the power lifted from the ground below and wrapped itself around the air currents to find him.
She calls you
It was all the prompting Rephaim needed. No matter how angry she was at him. No matter how much she hated himshe was calling him. And if she called, he would answer. In his heart he knew, no matter what, he would always try to answer.
He remembered Stevie Raes last words to him. When you decide your heart matters as much to you as it does to me, come find me again. It should be easy. Just follow your heart
Rephaim shut off the part of his mind that told him he couldnt be with hercouldnt care about her. Theyd been apart more than a week. Hed felt every day of that week as if it had been an eon in itself. How had he ever thought he could stay completely away from her? His very blood cried to be with her. Even facing her anger was better than nothing. And he needed to see her. Needed to find a way to warn her about Neferet. And about Father, too.
No! he shouted into the wind. He couldnt betray his father. But I cant betray Stevie Rae, either, he thought frantically. Ill find a balance. Ill find a way. I must. Not sure exactly what he was going to do, Rephaim stilled his seething thoughts and concentrated on following the ribbon of glowing green back to Stevie Rae as if it were his lifeline.
Stevie Rae
She was waiting for him with such concentrated intensity that Stevie Rae had no trouble sensing when Rephaim drew near the Gilcrease. When he dropped gracefully from the sky she was standing, looking up, watching for him. Shed meant to be totally cool. He was the enemy. She was supposed to remember that. But the instant he landed their eyes locked and, breathlessly, he said, I heard your call. I came.
That was all it took. Just the sound of his wonderful, familiar voice. Stevie Rae hurled herself into his arms and buried her face in the feathers at his shoulder. Ohmygoodness, Ive missed you so much!
Ive missed you, too, he said, holding her tightly to him.
They stood there like that, trembling in each others arms, for what seemed to her a very long time. Stevie Rae drank in the scent of himthat amazing mixture of immortal and mortal blood that beat through his bodythat linked them in Imprint and, therefore, also beat throughout her own body.
And then, quite suddenly, like it had occurred to each of them at once that they couldnt do what they were doing, Stevie Rae and Rephaim broke the embrace and took a step away from each other.
So, uh, youve been okay? she asked him.
He nodded. I have. And you? Youre safe? You werent hurt when Jack was killed today?
How did you know Jack was killed? Her voice was sharp.
I felt your sadness. I came to the House of Night to be sure you were okay. Thats when I saw you with your friends. I-I heard the boy crying for Jack. He hesitated over the words, trying to choose them carefully, honestly. That and your sadness told me he was dead.
Do you know anything about his death?
Maybe. What kind of boy was Jack?
Jack was good and sweet, and might have been the best of all of us. What do you know, Rephaim?
I know why he died.
Tell me.
Neferet owed Darkness a life debt in payment for entrapping my fathers immortal soul. The debt had to be paid by the sacrifice of someone who was an innocent, incorruptible by Darkness.
That was Jack; she killed him. Its frustrating as all get-out cause it looks like Neferet didnt! She was talkin to the schools High Council, right in front of me, when Jacks accident happened.
The Tsi Sgili fed him to Darkness. She need not have been present. She needed only to have marked him as her sacrifice and then let loose the threads of Darkness to follow through with the actual killing. She didnt have to witness the death.
How do I prove she was responsible?
You cannot. The deed is over. Her debt is paid.
Damn it! Im so dang mad I could spit nails! Neferet keeps gettin away with all of this awful crap. She keeps winnin. I dont understand why. Its not right, Rephaim. Its just not right. Stevie Rae blinked hard, forcing back tears of frustration.
For a moment, Rephaim touched her shoulder and she allowed herself to lean into his hand, to take comfort in the contact with him. Then he pulled back from her and said, All that anger. All that frustration and sadness. I felt it from you earlier tonight, too, and I thought He hesitated, obviously trying to decide whether to keep speaking.
What? she asked softly. You thought what?
He met her eyes again. I thought it was me you hated. Me you were so angry at. I heard you, too. You told the Sword Master tainted, unredeemable Darkness lurked outside. You were looking straight at me when you said it.
Stevie Rae nodded. Yeah, I saw you, and I knew if I didnt say somethin to get Dragon and Damien outta there, they were gonna see you, too.
Then you were not talking about me?
It was Stevie Raes turn to hesitate. She sighed. I was seriously pissed and scared and upset. I wasnt thinkin bout my words. I was just reacting cause I was freaked. She paused again and then added, I didnt mean nothin against you, but Rephaim, I do need to know whats goin on with Kalona and Neferet.
Rephaim turned and walked slowly to the edge of the rooftop. She followed him and stood beside him as they stared out at the quiet night.
Its almost dawn, Rephaim said.
Stevie Rae shrugged. I got about half an hour before the sun rises. Itll only take ten minutes or so to get back to the school.
You should leave now and not take any chances. The sun can cause you too much damage, even with my blood inside you.
I know. Ill go pretty soon. Stevie Rae sighed. So, youre not gonna tell me whats up with your daddy, are you?
He turned to look at her again. What would you think of me if you knew I betrayed my father?
Hes not a good guy, Rephaim. Hes not worth your protection.
But he is my father, Rephaim said.
Stevie Rae thought Rephaim sounded exhausted. She wanted to take his hand, to tell him itd be okay. But she couldnt. How the heck was it going to be okay with him on one side and her on the other? I cant fight against that, she finally said. Youre gonna have to come to terms with what Kalona is and isnt yourself. But you need to understand that I have to keep my people safe, and I know hes workin right beside Neferet, no matter what she says.
My father is bound to her! Rephaim blurted.
What do you mean?
He didnt kill Zoey, so he didnt fulfill his oath to Neferet, and now the Tsi Sgili holds dominion over his immortal soul.
Oh, great! So Kalona is like a loaded gun Neferet is holding.
Rephaim shook his head. He should be, but my father does not serve others well. He chafes uneasily under her command. I believe the analogy would be more accurate if you said that Father is like a misfiring loaded gun Neferet is holding.
Youre gonna have to be more specific than that. Give me an examplewhat do you mean? She tried to keep the excitement from her voice, but by the way his eyes closed off from her, Stevie Rae knew shed been unsuccessful.
I will not betray him.
Okay, fine. I get that. But does that mean you cant help me?
Rephaim stared at her silently so long she thought he wasnt going to answer, and she was trying to formulate another question in her head when he finally said, I want to help you, and I will as long as it doesnt mean betraying my father.
Thats a lot like the first deal you and I made, and that didnt end up so bad, did it? she asked, smiling up at him.
No, not so bad.
And, really, arent we all basically against Neferet?
I am, he said firmly.
And your daddy?
He wants to be rid of her control.
Well, thats practically the same thing as bein on our side.
I cant be on your side, Stevie Rae. You have to remember that.
So youd fight against me? She met his gaze squarely.
I could not hurt you.
Well, then
No, he interrupted. Not being able to hurt you is different than fighting for you.
Youd fight for me. You already have.
Rephaim grabbed her hand, squeezing it as if through touch he could make her understand him. Ive never fought my father for you.
Rephaim, do you remember that boy we saw in the fountain? She changed his grip on her hand and threaded her fingers with his.
He didnt speak. He only nodded.
You know hes inside you, dont you?
Again, Rephaim nodded, this time slowly and hesitantly.
That boy inside you is your mamas son. Not Kalonas. Dont forget about her. And dont forget about that boy and what hed fight for, too. Okay?
Before Rephaim could reply, Stevie Raes phone rang with Miranda Lamberts Only Prettier. She dropped Rephaims hand and groped in her pocket for it, saying Thats Zs ringtone! I have to talk to her. She doesnt know about Jack yet.
Before she could press the answer button, Rephaims hand caught hers. Zoey needs to return to Tulsa. Thats one way all of us can fight Neferet. The Tsi Sgili hates Zoey, and her presence here will be a distraction.