Something was eating. Once I worked that out, I could smell death and all the undignified things it brought to a body. I waited a long time, listening to the sounds of something with sharp teeth feeding, before I forced myself to move.
It didnt really matter who had died. If it was Sam, I stood no chance against something that could kill a werewolf after I shot him three times in the chestwhether his heart was there or not, it still should have hurt him.
If it wasnt Sam . . . either he would kill me, too, or wed both walk out of the basement. But I had to wait until Id considered every possibility before I rolled stiffly to my feet.
The sound didnt change as I shuffled around, crunching glass under my feet until the edge of my shoe caught the edge of the rug. I used the rug to find the desk and fumbled around until I could turn on the desk light.
It wasnt very bright, but it showed me that the lighting fixtures on the ceiling had been torn loose and were dangling by wires. The neat stacks of boxes were mostly gone, leaving tumbled books, ripped-up cardboard, and shreds of paper in their place. There was also blood. A lot of it.
Some of the fae bleed odd colors, but this was all a dark red that pooled black in the dim light a yard or so from the edge of the rug where the kill had been made. It hadnt been too long because the edge of the pool of fluid was still wet. But the victor had dragged the body over a pile of book boxes and found a secluded place hidden behind several leaning stacks in the far corner of the basement where the weak light I held wouldnt penetrate.
Sam? I asked. Sam?
The sound of feeding paused. Then a shadow darker than the things around it flowed over the stacks and crouched on top of the remaining piles of books, flattened to keep from bumping into the ceiling. For a moment, I thought it was the fae, because the wolf was so drenched in blood that he was almost black. Then white eyes caught my desk light, and Sam growled.
* * *
SO, I ASKED SAM AS WE HEADED BACK TOWARD KENNEWICK, what do you think we can do to resurrect the love of life in your human half? Because I dont think that this is working. You almost lost it there, my friend.
Sam whined softly and put his head on my lap. Id cleaned both of us in Phins bathroom as best I could. His white fur was more pink than white still, and he was soaking wet. Thank goodness the Rabbit had a powerful heater.
Well, if you dont know, I muttered, how am I supposed to figure it out?
He pressed his head harder on my thigh.
Hed almost killed me tonight. Id seen the intent in his eyes as hed raised his hindquartersand knocked over the boxes he was perched on, already precariously tipped during his battle with the fae.
It was the kind of mistake that Samuel would never have made, and it had thrown off his attack. Hed landed short of me, on top of the broken office chair. Hed put a foot through the space between the arm and the seat and during the struggle to free himself had remembered that we were friends.
From the lowered tail and head, I think hed scared himself almost as much as hed scared me.
Wed spent a long time in that bookstore, so the traffic had subsided somewhat, though it was still pretty busy.
I took my right hand off the steering wheel and ran my fingers through the fur behind Sams ears. His whole body relaxed as I rubbed. Well manage it, I told him. Dont you worry. Im a lot more stubborn than Samuel is. Lets go home and dry us both off. Then I think . . . its time to call Zee
MERCY!
Adams voice in my head screamed at such volume that I couldnt move. A blasting yet soundless noise that grew and grew until . . . there was nothing at all. The cry left me with a headache that made the one Id woken up with in Phins basement seem like a pinprick.
Sam, I said urgently, both hands on the wheel againfor all the good it was going to do me. Id only just barely kept from hitting the brakes as hard as I could, which doubtless would have caused a big pileup on the busy highway behind me. On the other hand, I could hardly keep traveling the way I was. Sam. Sam, I cant see.
A mouth closed on my right wrist and tugged down and then back. As soon as he was guiding me straight, I put on my brake, gently, and rolled to a stop.
The Rabbit shook as cars blasted past us, but no one honked, so we must have made it to the shoulder. After some indefinable amount of time, the pain faded finally and left me shaken and sweating and feeling as if Id been run over by a semi.
We have to get home, I said, restarting the car. My hands were shaking as I put the Rabbit in gear and made a beeline toward Finley.
Id left Adam to deal with his pack. If something had happened to him, Id never forgive myself for my cowardice.
Chapter 8
WE WERE ON CHEMICAL DRIVE, THE HIGHWAY THAT LED out of the city to the countryside, when the ambulance passed us going the other direction, lights flashing but sirens off. I almost turned to follow.
No. Better to find out exactly whats happened first. Sam isnt a doctor today, and I cant help anyone better than the hospital where theyre taking the victim. And maybe it wasnt anyone I knew in the ambulance at all.
As soon as I turned down my road, I put my foot down on the gas pedal and forgot about speed limits. Ahead of us, something was billowing black smoke. There were red flashing lightsfire engines at my house, which was well on its way to becoming so much kindling.
Adam would have thought I was in there. I hadnt told him I was leavingbecause hed have sent someone with me, someone he trusted, and I wanted him to have all of those with him.
Adams cry suddenly made sense, but I was terrified of what hed done when the connection had blown. It might have felt like I had died or fallen unconscious. I should have called him instead of waiting until I could drive here.
Adams pack surrounded the trailer, staying out of the way of the fire department. The fire must have started while the meeting was still taking place or shortly thereafterI firmly squelched the notion that they might have set it on fire in effigy. My eye slipped over familiar facesthere was Darryl, Auriele, Pauland some not so familiarHenry and George. I couldnt find Adam anywhere in the bunch. My stomach clenched in fear at his absence.
I parked by the side of the road as close as I could get with the fire trucks everywhere, but it was still well back from the fire.
I sprinted up to the closest of Adams pack and grabbed her by the armAuriele.
Where is Adam? I asked.
Her irises widened in shock. Mercy? Adam thought you were in there when it blew.
Blew? I looked around and realized that it did look as though the trailer had simply exploded. Bits of siding, glass, and trailer were scattered a dozen yards from the burning hulk that used to be my house. The trailer had gas heat; maybe there had been a leak. How long would it have had to leak before blowing up? If it had been leaking when I left, I would have smelled gas.
Tomorrow, Ill feel bad about losing my home and the things that are important, like my photos . . . poor Medea. I left her locked in because I always lock her in at night so shell be safe. I dont want to think about what happened to her. Tonight, I have more urgent fears.
Auriele, I said slowly and clearly, where is Adam?
Mercy!
Arms snagged me hard and pulled me close. Oh God, oh God, Mercy. He thought you were effing dead. Went through the side of the bloody trailer to find you. Bens voice was hoarse from the smoke and almost unrecognizable. If it hadnt been for the British accent, I wouldnt have been certain it was him.
Ben? I peeled myself out of his embrace with some difficultyand care, because the hands that clutched me convulsively were burned and blisteredbut I had to be able to breathe. Ben. Tell me where Adam is.
Hospital, said Darryl, trotting over to us from where hed been talking to some of the firemen. Darryl was Aurieles mate and Adams second. Mary Jo was able to ride in with him on the strength of her job. Mary Jo was a werewolf whose day job was as a fireman and a trained EMT. Ill take you.
I was already running back to the Rabbit. Sam somehow slithered past me when I was getting in, and when the passenger door opened, he hopped into the backseat so Ben could sit down.
Warrens on his way, Ben said. His teeth were chattering with shock, and his eyes were bright wolf eyes. He was working, couldnt get off in time for the meeting. But I called him and told him that Adam was at the hospital.
Good, I said, pulling out in a storm of gravel. Why didnt they take you to the hospital, too?
Away from the fire, the scent of burnt flesh and his pain was impossible to miss. The little cars engine roared as I opened it up on the highway. Ben closed his eyes and braced himself against the seat.
I was still in the building, he said. He coughed, rolled down his window, and hung out the side, choking and hacking for a while. I handed him a half-empty water bottle, and he rinsed his mouth out and spit.
He rolled up the window and took a drink. Adam went for your bedroom, and I went for Samuels. His voice was even rougher than it had been.
How bad are you?
Ill be all right. Smoke inhalation sucks.
* * *
WE THREE BARGED INTO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. Even for a place that was used to odd things, we must have looked a sight. I glanced at Sam. Hed rolled on the ground when I wasnt looking, covering up the remnants of bloodstains with dirt. All of us looked bedraggled, but at least I didnt think Sam and I looked as if wed been killing fae. Of course, we didnt look like wed been fighting a fire, like Ben did, either. Id come up with some story if someone asked.
Id forgotten that there was something more shocking about us than dirt, burns, and old, mostly washed-out bloodstains.
Hey, you cant bring a dog in here! The triage nurse took three quick strides to us and met my eyes . . . and she stumbled to a halt. Ms. Thompson? Is that a werewolf?
Where is Adam Hauptman?
But a roar from the emergency room told me all I needed to know.
Whose bright idea was it to bring him here? I muttered, running for the double doors between the waiting room and the emergency room, Ben and Sam flanking me.
Not me, Ben said, sounding a little more cheerful. I think hed been worried about what wed find, too. I am absolved of guilt. I was in the trailer getting toasty-warm when they sent him here.
A gray werewolf whose fur darkened around his muzzle stood in the aisle between the patient rooms and the central counter, his change so recent that I could still see the muscles of his back realigning themselves.
He was missing large patches of fur where his skin was blackened and had bubbled up like wax. All four of his feet were hideously burnt, the singed skin a horrible imitation of the black fur that usually covered them. The curtain from the room was caught over his tail.
I stopped just inside the doors, assessing the situation.
Jody, the nurse Id talked to the night of Samuels accident, was standing very stilland someone had coached her on how to behave around werewolves, because her eyes were fixed on the floor. But even from where I stood, I could smell her fear, an appetite-rousing scent for any werewolf. Mary Jo crouched in front of Adam, one hand resting on the floor, her head bowed in submissionand her tough athletic body, so fragile-appearing next to the wolf, was directly between the bystanders and her Alpha.
I glanced down at Sam, but apparently hed fed enough on the dead fae that his attention was all on Adam, though he stayed next to me. Ben waited on my other side, holding himself very still, as if he was trying really hard not to attract Adams attention.
In other circumstances I wouldnt have been as worried. Werewolves tend to lose their human halves when badly injured, but they can be recalled to themselves by a mate or by a more dominant wolf. Samuel was more dominant than Adam, and I was Adams mate. Either of us should have been able to bring him back.
Unfortunately, Samuel wasnt himself this evening and Adam had fried our mate bond in his panic when he thought I was trapped in the trailer. I didnt know what that meant in terms of how he would respond to me. He lowered his head and took a step forward, and my time to dither ran out.
Adam, I said.
His whole body froze.
Adam? I stepped away from Ben and Sam. Adam, its all right. These are the good guys. Theyre trying to helpyouve been hurt.
Im fast, and I have good reflexes, and I didnt even see him move. He pinned me back against the doorframe, rising on his poor burnt hind legs until his face and mine were at the same height. The scent of smoke and burning things wrapped around us as his hot breath touched my cheeks. He inhaled, and his whole body began shaking.
Hed really thought I was dead.
Im okay, I murmured while I closed my eyes and tilted my chin to expose my throat. I wasnt in the trailer when it blew.
His nose brushed from my jaw to my collarbone and he let out a low, wheezing cough that seemed to go on forever. When it was finally over, he laid his head on my shoulder and began to change.
It would be safer for everyone if he were human, which was probably why hed done it. But hed just been badly hurtand only just completed a change from human to wolf. To attempt to reverse the shift within minutes was miserably difficult. That he chose to do it anyway made it obvious to me that he was in very bad shape.
Hed never have started changing while he was touching me if hed been fully aware. The change is agonizing enough in itself; skin-on-skin contact makes it even worse. Add to that his awkward position and the pain Adam was already in because of his burns, and I didnt know what would happen. I slid slowly down the wall, bringing him with me as his skin stretched and the bones moved. Watching a wolf change is not a beautiful thing.
I put my palms flat on the floor, so as not to give in to the temptation to touch him. As much as my head knew more skin contact was the last thing he needed, my body was curiously convinced that I could alleviate the agony of the change.
I looked up at Ben and jerked my chin toward the nurse . . . and the doctor whod pulled the curtain back to join the fuss out front. Ben gave me a why me? look. In return, I glanced at Adamobviously incapacitatedand then Sam, who was a wolf.
Ben looked up at the sky, invoking Gods pity, I supposed. He trudged over, hands cradled in front of his body, to solve the problems he could. I caught Mary Jos eye and interrupted a look directed at me . . . such a look. As soon as she realized I was looking at her, her face cleared. I couldnt interpret the emotion Id seen, just that it was very strong.
Anybody hurt? asked Ben. When he extends himself beyond his usual nasty personality, people tend to find Ben reassuring. I think its the nifty British accent and composed appearanceand even with the burns and the charred clothing, he looked somehow more civilized than anyone else.
No, said the doctor, whose name tag read REX FOURNIER, MD. He looked to be in his late forties. I surprised him when I opened the curtains. And then in a spirit of fairness seldom seen in terrified people, he said, He was pretty careful not to hurt anyone, just knocked me aside. If I hadnt stumbled over the stool, Id have kept my feet.
He was unconscious when I left, Mary Jo told Ben, half-apologetically. I came out to see if I could find someone to help himwed been here for a while. I didnt realize Id been away long enough for him to change.
Not so long, I said. I saw the ambulance pass us. You cant have been here more than a half hour, and it takes about half of that for him to complete the change. Whose bright idea was it to bring Adam to the hospital in his condition anyway?
It had been Mary Jos. I could see it in her face.
All he needed was the dead flesh peeled off, she said.
A really, really painful procedureand no painkillers work on werewolves for long. It was such a bad idea that we all stared at her, all of us who knew, anywayBen, Sam, and I. Adam was preoccupied with his change.
I didnt realize how bad it was, she defended herself. I thought it was just his hands. I didnt see his feet until we were already in the ambulance on the way over here. If it had just been his hands, it would have been okay.
Maybe. Probably.
I thought you and Samuel were dead, she said. And that left it my problem as the pack medic. And as medic and as my Alphas loyal follower, I deemed the hospital the safer option.
Shed just lied.
Not about Adam being safer at the hospital than home. With the recent upheavals, she was probably right that a badly wounded Adam wasnt safe with the pack in his condition. Theyd tear him apart and apologize and maybe even feel bad afterward. But that first statement . . .
Maybe she thought we were too overwrought to noticeand Ben was sometimes not as aware of subtle cues as some of the other wolves. But maybe Mary Jo didnt realize that I could tell when she was lying as well as any of the wolves could have.
You knew we werent in the house, I said slowly. And then the light dawned about what that meant. Did Adam send you out to keep watch over me while he met with the others? Did you see us leave?
She had. It was in her faceand she didnt bother denying it. She might be able to lie to the humans in this room, but not to the rest of us.
Why didnt you tell him? asked Ben. Why didnt you stop him before he went into the fire?
Answer him, I said.
She met my eyes for a long count of three before finally dropping them. I was supposed to follow you if you left. Make sure you didnt get hurt. But you see, I think everyone would be better off if one of the vampires had killed you.
So you chose to defy Adams orders because you disagreed with him, said Ben. He picked you to watch Mercy because he trusted you to take care of business while he dealt with the packand you betrayed that trust.
I was grateful that Ben kept talking.
Mary Jo was one of the people in Adams pack Id thought was my friend. Not because a debt the fae owed me had kept her from dying a little while ago . . . I suspected that had been a mixed blessing, like most fairy gifts. But wed spent a lot of hours in each others company because Adam liked to use her as a guard when he felt I needed one.
Mary Jo wanted me dead. That was what that look had been about.
It was such a shock that I might have missed her answer to Bens question if she hadnt sounded so defensive.
It wasnt like that. She was safe enough; she left with Samuel. Theres nothing I could do that would protect her better than Samuel could.
So why didnt you stop the arsonists?
Arsonists? There had been arsonists?
I wasnt ordered to protect her place. She wasnt in there.
Ben smiled in such satisfaction that I realized he hadnt known there were arsonists either. Who were they, Mary Jo?
Fae, she said. No one I knew. Just more trouble shes bringing to my packs door. If they wanted to burn down Mercys house, what did I care? She looked at me, and said viciously, I wish theyd burned it up with you in it.
Ben!
How he managed to stop his hand before it hit her face, I dont know. But he did. Shed have wiped the floor with him afterward. She might be nominally below him in the pack hierarchy, but that was only because unmated women were at the bottom of the pack.
She wanted to fight him. I could see it in her face.
I couldnt move with Adam mostly on my lap. Thats enough. I kept my voice soft.
Ben was panting, his hands shaking in rage . . . or pain. His hands were really damaged.
He could have died, Ben said to me, his voice rough with the wolf. He could have died because this He stopped himself.
And the violence was gone from Mary Jos posture as quickly as if someone had hit a switch. Her eyes brightened with tears. Dont you think I know that? He came running from the house, calling her name. I tried to tell him it was too late, but he just pulled the wall apart and jumped through the hole hed made. He didnt even hear me.
Hed have heard you if you told him she wasnt in there, said Ben, unaffected by the tears. I was right behind him. You didnt even try. You could have just told him she was alive.
Enough, I said. Adams change was nearly finished. Adam can settle this himself later.
I looked over at Sam. Two changes is bad when theres tissue damage, right? It heals wrong. The human ear I could see was scarred, and the top half of Adams head from his eyebrows up seemed to be as well. He must have had a wet towel or something over his head to cover his face, but it had fallen down at some point and hadnt protected his scalp.
Sam sighed.
The doctor had been listening to Mary Jos story with fascinationI bet he watched soap operas, too. Im sorry, he told me, sounding it. Unless you have some means of effectively restraining him, I cannot treat him here. I wont risk my staff.
Can we have a room, then? I asked.
Time wasnt our friend. We could take him back to his house and take care of him . . . but once Mary Jo had reminded me of the danger hed be in wounded, in the middle of his pack, I really didnt want to take him back there and hurt him.
Sam caught my eye and looked down the line of curtained rooms to the one Id retrieved him from.
I looked back at the doctor. A real room would be best. Could we use the X-ray storage room?
The doctor frowned, but Jody came to my rescue. This is Doc Cornicks Mercy, she said. Shes dating Adam Hauptman, the pack Alpha.
Who is lying in my lap, I told them. Im sorry. If it were anyone except for Adam who was hurt, we could make sure your personnel were safebut Adams the only one who could keep a lid on it reliably. You are right not to risk your people. But Ive got a couple of wolves hereMary Jos an EMTand we can manage on our own. If it werent urgent that we get started, Id just take him home. But if we dont do something soon, the scars will be permanent.
His feet were the worst. Wholly human and . . . I could see bone under blackened skin. He was unconscious, sweaty, and four shades paler than usual.
What can we get you? Fournier asked.
A stretcher, said Mary Jo. She looked at Sam, waiting for him to take over. Then she realized that in this place he couldnt possibly show them he was a werewolf. I dont think she had noticed the full extent of Samuels problem yet. She just turned to the doctor and started speaking medical gibberish.
A gurney appeared, and Ben lifted Adam out of my lap and onto it. A host of hospital personnel showed up and emptied the X-ray storage room of boxeswith very little respect for the existing organization. Someone was going to be upset about that. Dr. Fournier was paged to the third floor and left with the same brisk efficiency with which he seemed to manage everythingincluding werewolves in his ER.
With everything out, there was room, if only just, for all of us, the gurney, and the tray of tools Jody brought in.
Fournier isnt as good as Doc Cornick when things go bad. Jody gave me a sharp look as Mary Jo and Ben maneuvered Adam to the center of the little room, and I wondered if she was thinking about how many werewolves I seemed to know and connecting it to the fact that I was Samuels roommate. If so, she didnt seem to be hysterical at the thought of all the werewolves who were here at the moment, so maybe shed keep quiet about her suspicions.
Fournier didnt get hurt, I said. He didnt make anything worse. Thats good enough for me.
Do you need help? she asked bravely.
I smiled at her. No. I think that Mary Jo can handle it. Id have rather had Jody and the doctor, but Adam wouldnt thank me for putting humans at risk. Like Jody, Id really rather have had Samuel . . . who had disappeared from my side.
Its not a sterile environment, but it sounds like thats not important.
No, I told Jody distractedly. Where had Sam gotten to? Werewolves deal with germs better than people do. Looks like theyre ready to go.
I closed the door, took a deep breath, and turned to Mary Jo. Do you know what to do? I have to find Sam.
Im here. Samuel was naked as the day he was born, and sweating freely from the speed of his change. His skin was filthy with dust and fae blooda condition he was remedying with a bucket of water and a towel that must have been among the things Mary Jo had required. His eyes were gray, a shade or two lighter than normal, but the other wolves would doubtless put it to changing. Ill take care of it.
Samuel, I said.
But he looked away and took up something that looked like a scrub brush, with stiff bristles. I need you to hold him down. Ben, lie across his hips. Mary Jo, Ill tell you where I need you. Hands will be the worst, so well start with them.
What about me? I asked.
You talk to him. Keep telling him were helping him with this torture. If he hears you and believes you, he wont fight us as hard. Ill give him some morphine. It wont help much or for long, so well need to move fast.
So while Samuel scrubbed the dead skin and almost-healed scabs off Adam with a stiff-bristled brush, I talked and talked. The burns had killed tissue that had to be removed. Once it was gone, the raw wounds would heal cleanly and without scars.
Adam kept going into coughing fits. When theyd happen, everyone backed off and let him cough until he spit up blood with great hunks of black in it. Ben had a few of those fits, too, but he rode them out while still keeping his weight on Adam.
Every so often, Samuel would stop and dose Adam with more morphine. The worst of it was that Adam never made a noise or struggled against the people holding him down. He just kept his eyes on mine while he sweat and his body shook with small tremors that grew and subsided with whatever Samuel did.
I thought you were dead, he said, his voice a bare rasp while Samuel moved from his hands to his feet. It didnt seem to hurt as muchat a guess there werent a lot of nerves left. Hed jumped into a burning building barefoot to save me.
Stupid, I said, blinking hard. As if Id die without taking you with me.
He smiled faintly. Was it Mary Jo who betrayed us at the bowling alley? he asked, proving he hadnt been entirely unaware of what had been going on while he was changing.
Both of us ignored the pained sound Mary Jo made.
Ill ask her later.
He nodded. Better He quit talking, and his pupils contracted despite the morphine hed been given.
He arched up and twisted so he could press his face into my belly, making a noise somewhere between a scream and a growl. I held him there while Samuel snarled at Ben and Mary Jo to hold him still.
Another shot of morphine, and Samuel moved us all around. Ben across Adams legsAnd dont think I havent noticed your hands, Ben. Youre next up. Mary Jo on one arm, just above the elbow. Me on the other.
Can you hold him? asked Samuel.
Not if he doesnt want me to, I told him.
Itll be all right, Adam said. I wont hurt her.
Samuel smiled tightly. No, I didnt think you would.
When Samuel started on Adams face with the brush, I had to close my eyes.
Shh, Adam comforted me. Itll be over soon.
* * *
WARREN ARRIVED NOT LONG AFTER THAT. TOO LATE to help with Adam, but he and Mary Jo held on to Ben while Samuel scrubbed his hands free of black skin and blisters. He hadnt changed twice and started healing wrong, but it was still bad enough.
Adam had closed his eyes and was resting while I stood with my hands wrapped around his upper arm, one of the places where he hadnt lost any skin. The connection between us hadnt reset yet, and I had to rely on my senses to tell me what he felt. It surprised me, given how unhappy Id been with that bond, that I missed the connection when it was gone. My ears told me that he wasnt fully asleep, just catnapping.
Ben wasnt as quiet as Adam had been, but he was obviously doing his best to keep his cries down. Finally, he sank his teeth into Warrens biceps and dug in.
Attaboy, Warren drawled without flinching. Go ahead and chew some if it helps. Too far from the heart to do me much harm. Dang, but I hate fires. Guns, knives, fangs, and claws are toughbut fires are the worst.