The next morning, while most of the Cirque folk were sleeping, I slipped out. Although it was a bright day, I wore a light anorak over my clothes, so I could pull the hood up and mask my face if I had to.
I walked rapidly, thrilled to be back. The streets had changed a lot new shops and offices, many redecorated or redesigned buildings but the names were the same. I ran into memories on every block. The shop where I bought my football boots. Mum's favourite clothes boutique. The cinema where we'd taken Annie to her first film. The newsagent where I shopped for comics.
I wandered through a vast complex which used to be my favourite computer arcade. It was under new ownership and had grown beyond recognition. I tried out some of the games, and smiled as I remembered how excited I'd get when I'd come here on a Saturday and blast away a few hours on the latest shoot-'em-up.
Moving away from the central shopping area, I visited my favourite parks. One was now a housing estate but the other was unchanged. I saw a groundsman tending to a bed of flowers old William Morris, my friend Alan's grandfather. William was the first person from the past I'd seen. He hadn't known me very well, so I was able to walk right past him and study him up-close without fear of being spotted.
I wanted to stop and chat with Alan's grandfather, and ask for news about Alan. I was going to tell him that I was one of Alan's friends, that I'd lost touch with him. But then I remembered that Alan was now an adult, not a teenager like me. So I walked on, silent, unobserved.
I was anxious to check out my old house. But I didn't feel ready I trembled with nerves every time I thought about it. So I wandered through the centre of town, past banks, shops, restaurants. I caught glimpses of half-remembered faces clerks and waiters, a few customers but nobody I'd known personally.
I had a bite to eat in a cafe. The food wasn't especially good, but it had been Dad's favourite place he often brought me here for a snack while Mum and Annie were doing damage in the shops. It was nice to sit in the familiar surroundings and order a chicken and bacon sandwich, like in the old days.
After lunch, I strolled past my original school a really eerie feeling! A new wing had been added, and there were iron railings around the perimeter, but apart from that it looked just the way I remembered. Lunch break was ending. I watched from underneath the shadows of a tree while the students filed back into class. I saw some teachers too. Most were new, but two caught my attention. One was Mrs McDaid. She'd taught languages, mostly to older students. I'd had her for half a term when my regular teacher was on a leave of absence.
I'd been much closer to the other teacher Mr Dalton! I'd had him for English and history. He'd been my favourite teacher. He was chatting with some of his students as he entered class after lunch, and by their smiles I saw he was still as popular as ever.
It would have been great to catch up with Mr Dalton. I was seriously thinking about waiting for school to finish, then going to see him. He'd know what had happened to my parents and Annie. I needn't tell him I was a vampire I could say I had an anti-ageing disease, which kept me looking young. Explaining away my "death" would be tricky, but I could cook up some suitable story.
One thing held me back. A few years ago, in Mr Crepsley's home city, I'd been branded a killer by the police, and my name and photo had been flashed all over the TV and newspapers. What if Mr Dalton had heard about that? If he knew I was alive, and thought I was a murderer, he might alert the authorities. Safer not to take the risk. So I turned my back on the school and slowly walked away.
It was only then that it struck me that Mr Dalton wouldn't be the only one who might have picked up on the "Darren Shan serial killer!" hysteria. What if my parents had heard about it! Mr Crepsley's city was in a different part of the world, and I wasn't sure how much news travelled between the two countries. But it was a possibility.
I had to sit down on a street bench while I considered that horrific potential. I could only begin to imagine how shocking it would have been if, years after they'd buried me, Mum and Dad had spotted me on the news, under a caption branding me a killer. How had I never thought about it before?
This could be a real problem. As I'd told Harkat, I didn't intend going to see my family too painful for everyone. But if they already knew I was alive, and were living with the misbelief that I was a killer, I'd have to set the record straight. But what if theydidn't know?
I had to do some research. I'd passed a brand new, ultra-modern library earlier that morning. Hurrying back to it, I asked a librarian for assistance. I said I was doing a school project and had to pick some local story from the last three years to write about. I asked to examine all the issues of the main local paper, as well as the national paper which my mum and dad used to read. I figured, if word of my exploits in Mr Crepsley's city had spread this far, there'd be a mention of me in one of those two papers.
The librarian was happy to help. She showed me where the microfiche were stored, and how to use them. Once I'd got the knack of getting them up on screen and scanning from one page to the next, she left me to my own devices.
I started with the earliest editions of the national paper, from a few months before I ran into trouble with the law. I was looking for any mention of Mr Crepsley's city and the killers plaguing it. I made quick time, glancing only at the international sections. I found a couple of references to the murders and they were both mocking! Apparently journalists here were amused by the vampire rumours which had swept the city, and the story was treated as light entertainment. There was a short piece in one issue, relaying the news that the police had caught four suspects, and then carelessly let all four escape. No names, and no mention of the people Steve had killed when he broke out.
I was relieved but angered at the same time. I knew the pain the vampaneze had brought to that city, the lives they'd destroyed. It wasn't right that such a grim story should be turned into the stuff of funny urban legends, simply because it happened in a city far away from where these people lived. They wouldn't have found it so amusing if the vampaneze had struck here!
I made a quick check on issues from the next few months, but the paper had dropped the story after news of the escape. I turned to the local paper. This was slower going. The main news was at the front, but local interest stories were scattered throughout. I had to check most of the pages of each edition before I could move on to the next.
Although I tried not to dwell on articles unrelated to me, I couldn't stop myself from skimming the opening paragraphs of the more interesting stones. It wasn't long before I was catching up with all the news elections, scandals, heroes, villains; policemen who'd been highly commended, criminals who'd given the town a bad name; a big bank raid; coming third in a national tidy towns competition.
I saw photographs and read clips about several of my school friends, but one in particular stood out Tom Jones! Tommy was one of my best friends, along with Steve and Alan Morris. We were two of the best footballers in our class. I was the goal-scorer, leading the line up front, while Tommy was the goal-stopper, pulling off spectacular saves. I'd often dreamt of going on to be a professional footballer. Tommy had taken that dream all the way and become a goalkeeper.
There were dozens of photos and stones about him. Tom Jones (he'd shortened the "Tommy") was one of the best keepers in the country. Lots of articles poked fun at his name there was also a famous singer called Tom Jones but nobody had anything bad to say about Tommy himself. After working his way up through the amateur ranks, he'd signed for a local team, made a name for himself, then played abroad for five years. Now he was back home, part of the best team in the country. In the most recent editions, I read how local football fans were buzzing with excitement at the prospect of this years cup semi-final it was being held in our town, and Tommy's team was in it. Of course, they'd have been a lot happier if their own team had qualified, but this was the next best thing.
Reading about Tommy brought a smile to my face it was great to see one of my friends doing so well. The other good news was that there was no mention of me. Since this was quite a small town, I was sure word would have spread if anyone had heard about me in connection with the killings. I was in the clear.
But there was no mention of my family in the papers either. I couldn't find the name "Shan" anywhere. There was only one thing for it I'd have to dig around for information in person by going back to the house where I used to live.
CHAPTER FOUR
«^»
The house took my breath away. It hadn't changed. Same colour door, same style curtains, same small garden out the back. As I stood gazing at it, gripping the top of the fence, I almost expected a younger version of myself to come bounding out the back door, clutching a pile of comics, on his way over to Steve's.
"May I help you?" someone asked behind me.
My head snapped round and my eyes cleared. I didn't know how long I'd been standing there, but by my white knuckles, I guessed it had been a few minutes at least. An elderly woman was standing close by, studying me suspiciously. Rubbing my hands together, I smiled warmly. "Just looking," I said.
"At what, precisely?" she challenged me, and I realized how I must appear to her a rough-faced teenager, gazing intently into a deserted back yard, checking out the house. She thought I was a burglar casing the joint!
"My name's Derek Shan," I said, borrowing an uncle's first name. "My cousins lived here. In fact, they still might. I'm not sure. I'm in town to see some friends, and I thought I'd pop over and find out if my relatives were here or not."
"You're related to Annie?" the woman asked, and I shivered at the mention of the name.
"Yes," I said, fighting hard to keep my voice steady. "And Dermot and Angela." My parents. "Do they still live here?"
"Dermot and Angela moved away three or four years ago," the woman said. She stepped up beside me, at ease now, and squinted at the house. "They should have left sooner. That was never a happy house, not since their boy died." The woman looked sideways at me. "You know about that?"
"I remember my dad saying something," I muttered, ears turning red.
"I wasn't living here then," the woman said. "But I've heard all about it. He fell out of a window. The family stayed on, but it was a miserable place after that. I don't know why they stuck around so long. You can't enjoy yourself in a house of bitter memories."
"But they did stay," I said, "until three or four years ago? And then moved on?"
"Yes. Dermot had a mild heart attack. He had to retire early."
"Heart attack!" I gasped. "Is he OK?"
"Yes." The woman smiled at me. "I said it was mild, didn't I? But they decided to move when he retired. Left for the coast. Angela often said she'd like to live by the sea."
"What about Annie?" I asked. "Did she go with them?"
"No. Annie stayed. She still lives here her and her boy."
"Boy?" I blinked.
"Her son." The woman frowned. "Are you sure you're a relative? You don't seem to know much about your own family."
"I've lived abroad most of my life," I said truthfully.
"Oh." The woman lowered her voice. "Actually, I suppose it's not the sort of thing you talk about in front of children. What age are you, Derek?"
"Sixteen," I lied.
"Then I guess you're old enough. My name's Bridget, by the way."
"Hello, Bridget." I forced a smile, silently willing her to get on with the story.
"The boy's a nice enough child, but he's not really a Shan."
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
"He was born out of wedlock. Annie never married. I'm not even sure anyone except her knows who the father is. Angela claimed they knew, but she never told us his name."
"I guess lots of women choose not to marry these days," I sniffed, not liking the way Bridget was talking about Annie.
"True," Bridget nodded. "Nothing wrong with wanting the child but not the husband. But Annie was on the young side. She was just sweet sixteen when the baby was born."
Bridget was glowing, the way gossips do when they're telling a juicy story. I wanted to snap at her, but it was better to hold my tongue.
"Dermot and Angela helped rear the baby," Bridget continued. "He was a blessing in some ways. He became a replacement for their lost son. He brought some joy back into the house."
"And now Annie looks after him by herself?" I asked.
"Yes. Angela came back a lot during the first year, for weekends and holidays. But now the boy's more independent, Annie can cope by herself. They get along as well as most, I guess." Bridget glanced at the house and sniffed. "But they could do with giving that old wreck a slap of paint."
"I think the house looks fine," I said stiffly.
"What do sixteen-year-old boys know about houses?" Bridget laughed. Then she bid me good day and went about her business. I was going to call her back, to ask when Annie would be home. But then I decided not to. Just as easy and more exciting to wait out here and watch for her.
There was a small tree on the other side of the road. I stood by it, hood up over my head, checking my watch every few minutes as though I was waiting to meet somebody. The street was quiet and not many people passed.
The day darkened and dusk set upon the town. There was a bite in the air but it didn't trouble me half-vampires don't feel the cold as much as humans. I thought about what Bridget had said while I was waiting. Annie, a mother! Hard to believe. She'd been a kid herself the last time I saw her. From what Bridget said, Annie's life hadn't been the easiest. Being a mother at sixteen must have been rough. But it sounded like she had things under control now.
A light went on in the kitchen. A woman's silhouette passed from one side to the other. Then the back door opened and my sister stepped out. There was no mistaking her. Taller, with long brown hair, much plumper than she'd been as a girl. But the same face. The same sparkling eyes, and lips which were ready to turn up into a warm-hearted smile at a moment's notice.
I stared at Annie as though in a trance. I wasn't able to tear my eyes away. I was trembling, and my legs felt like they were about to give way, but I couldn't turn my gaze aside.
Annie walked to a small washing line in the back yard, from which a boy's clothes were hanging. She blew into her hands to warm them, then reached up and took the clothes down, one garment at a time, folding each over the crook of her left arm.
I stepped forward and opened my mouth to call her name, all thoughts of not announcing myself forgotten. This was Annie my sister! Ihad to talk to her, hold her again, laugh and cry with her, catch up on the past, ask about Mum and Dad.
But my vocal chords wouldn't work. I was choked up with emotion. All I managed was a thin croak. Closing my mouth, I walked across the road, slowing as I came to the fence. Annie had gathered all the clothes from the line and was returning to the kitchen. I gulped deeply and licked my lips. Blinked several times in quick succession to clear my head. Opened my mouth again
and stopped when a boy inside the house shouted, "Mum! I'm home!"
"About time!" Annie yelled in reply, and I could hear the love in her voice. "I thought I told you to bring in the clothes."
"Sorry. Wait a sec " I saw the boy's shadow as he entered the kitchen and hurried over to the back door. Then he emerged, a chubby boy, fair-haired, very pleasant looking.
"Do you want me to take some of those?" the boy said.
"My hero," Annie laughed, handing half of the load over to the boy. He went in ahead of her. She turned to shut the door and caught a glimpse of me. She paused. It was quite dark. The light was behind her. She couldn't see me very well. But if I stood there long enough if I called out to her
I didn't.
Instead I coughed, pulled my hood tight around my face, spun and walked away. I heard the door close behind me, and it was like the sound of a sharp blade slicing me adrift from the past.
Annie had her own life. A son. A home. Probably a job. Maybe a boyfriend or somebody special. It wouldn't be fair if I popped up, opening old wounds, making her part of my dark, twisted world. She enjoyed peace and a normal life much better than what I had to offer.
So I left her behind and slunk away quickly, through the streets of my old town, back to my real home the Cirque Du Freak. And I sobbed my heart out every painful, lonely step of the way.
CHAPTER FIVE
«^»
I couldn't bear to talk to anybody that night. I sat by myself in a seat high up in the football stadium while the show was in progress, thinking about Annie and her child, Mum and Dad, all that I'd lost and missed out on. For the first time in years I felt angry with Mr Crepsley for blooding me. I found myself wondering what life would be like if he'd left me alone, wishing I could go back and change the past.
But there was no point tormenting myself. The past was a closed book. I could do nothing to alter it, and wasn't even sure I would if I could if I hadn't been blooded, I wouldn't have been able to tip the vampires off about Kurda Smahlt, and the entire clan might have fallen.
If I'd returned home ten or twelve years earlier, my feelings of loss and anger might have been stronger. But I was an adult now, in all but looks. A Vampire Prince. I'd learnt to deal with heartache. That wasn't an easy night. Tears flowed freely. But by the time I drifted off to sleep a few hours before dawn, I'd resigned myself to the situation, and knew there would be no fresh tears in the morning.
I was stiff with the cold when I awoke, but worked it off by jogging down the tiers of the stadium to where the Cirque was camped. As I was making for the tent I shared with Harkat, I spotted Mr Tall. He was standing by an open fire, roasting sausages on a spit. He beckoned me over and threw a handful of sausages to me, then speared a fresh batch and stuck them over the flames.
"Thanks," I said, eagerly munching the piping-hot sausages.
"I knew you would be hungry," he replied. He looked at me steadily. "You have been to see your sister."
"Yes." It didn't surprise me that he knew. Mr Tall was an insightful old owl.
"Did she see you?" Mr Tall asked.
"She saw me briefly, but I left before she got a good look."
"You behaved correctly." He turned the sausages over and spoke softly. "You are about to ask me if I will help protect your sister. You fear for her safety."
"Harkat thinks something's going to happen," I said. "He's not sure what, but if Steve Leopard's part of it, he might use Annie to hurt me."
"He won't," Mr Tall said. I was surprised by his directness normally he was very cagey when it came to revealing anything about the future. "As long as you stay out of her life, your sister will be under no direct threat."
"What aboutin direct threat?" I asked warily.
Mr Tall chuckled. "We are all under indirect threat, one way or another. Harkat is correct this is a time and place of destiny. I can say no more about it, except leave your sister alone. She is safe that way."
"OK," I sighed. I wasn't happy about leaving Annie to fend for herself, but I trusted Hibernius Tall.
"You should sleep some more now," Mr Tall said. "You are tired."
That sounded like a good plan. I scoffed another sausage, turned to leave, then stopped. "Hibernius," I said without facing him, "I know you can't tell me what's going to happen, but before we came here, you said I didn't have to come. It would have been better if I'd stayed away, wouldn't it?"
There was a long silence. I didn't think he was going to respond. But then, softly, he said, "Yes."
"What if I left now?"
"It is too late," Mr Tall said. "Your decision to return set a train of events in motion. That train cannot be derailed. If you left now, it would only serve the purpose of the forces you oppose."
"But what if" I said, turning to push the issue. But Mr Tall had disappeared, leaving only the flickering flames and a stick speared with sausages lying on the grass next to the fire.
That evening, after I'd rested and enjoyed a filling meal, I told Harkat about my trip home. I also told him about my short conversation with Mr Tall and how he'd urged me not to get involved with Annie.
"Then you were right," Harkat grunted. "I thought you should involve yourself with your family again, but it seems I was wrong."
We were feeding scraps of meat to the Wolf Man, part of our daily chores. We stood at a safe distance from his cage, all too aware of the power of his fearsome jaws.
"What about your nephew?" Harkat asked. "Any family resemblance?"
I paused, a large sliver of meat in my right hand. "It's strange, but I didn't think of him as that until now. I just thought of him as Annie's son. I forgot that also makes him my nephew." I grinned crookedly. "I'm an uncle!"
"Congratulations," Harkat deadpanned. "Did he look like you?"
"Not really," I said. I thought of the fair-haired, chubby boy's smile, and how he'd helped Annie bring in the washing. "A nice kid, from what I saw. Handsome, of course, like all the Shans."
"Of course!" Harkat snorted.
I was sorry I hadn't taken more notice of Annie's boy. I didn't even know his name. I thought about going back to ask about him I could hang about and collar Bridget the gossip again but dismissed the idea immediately. That was precisely the kind of stunt which could backfire and bring me to Annie's notice. Best to forget about him.
As we were finishing off, I saw a young boy watching us from behind a nearby van. He was studying us quietly, taking care not to attract attention. In the normal run of things, I'd have ignored him children often came nosing around the Cirque site. But my thoughts were on my nephew and I found myself more interested in the boy than I'd otherwise have been.
"Hello!" I shouted, waving at him. The boy's head instantly vanished behind the van. I would have left it, but moments later the boy stepped out and walked towards us. He looked nervous understandable, since we were in the presence of the snarling Wolf Man but he was fighting hard not to show it.
The boy stopped a few metres away and nodded curtly. "Hello," he mumbled. He was scrawny. He had dark blond hair and bright blue eyes. I put his age at somewhere in the region of ten or eleven, maybe a little bit older than Annie's kid, though there couldn't have been much of an age difference. For all I knew they might even be going to school together!
The boy said nothing after greeting us. I was thinking about my nephew and comparing this boy to him, so I said nothing either. Harkat finally broke the silence. "Hi," he said, lowering the mask he wore to filter out air, which was poisonous to him. "I'm Harkat."
"Darius," the boy said, nodding at Harkat, not offering to shake hands.
"And I'm Darren," I smiled.
"You two are with the freak show," Darius said. "I saw you yesterday."
"You've been here before?" Harkat asked.
"A couple of times. I've never seen a freak show before. I tried buying a ticket but nobody will sell me one. I asked the tall guy he's the owner, isn't he? but he said it wasn't suitable for children."
"It is a bit on the gruesome side," I said.
"That's why I want to see it," he grunted.
I laughed, remembering what I'd been like at his age. "Tell you what," I said. "Why don't you walk around with us? We can show you some of the performers and tell you about the show. If you still want a ticket, maybe we can sort one out for you then."
Darius squinted at me suspiciously, then at Harkat. "How do I know I can trust you?" he asked. "You might be a pair of kidnappers."
"Oh, you have my word we won't kidnap you," Harkat purred, treating Darius to his widest grin, displaying his grey tongue and sharp, pointed teeth. "We might feed you to the Wolf Man but we won't kidnap you."
Darius yawned to show he wasn't impressed by the theatrical threat, then said, "What the hell, I've nothing better to do." Then he tapped his foot and raised an eyebrow impatiently. "Come on!" he snapped. "I'm ready!"
"Yes, master," I laughed, and led the harmless-looking boy on a tour of the Cirque.
CHAPTER SIX
«^»
We walked Darius around the site and introduced him to Rhamus Twobellies, Cormac Limbs, Hans Hands and Truska. Cormac was busy and didn't have time to show the boy how he could re-grow his limbs, but Truska sprouted a short beard for him, then sucked the hairs back into her face. Darius acted like he wasn't impressed, but I could see the wonder in his eyes.
Darius was strange. He didn't say much, and kept his distance, always a couple of metres away from Harkat and me, as though he still didn't trust us. He asked lots of questions about the performers and the Cirque Du Freak, which was normal. But he didn't ask anything about me, where I was from, how I'd come to join the show or what my tasks involved. He didn't ask about Harkat either. The grey-skinned, stitched-together Little Person was like nothing most people had ever seen. It was common for newcomers to pump him for information. But Darius seemed uninterested in Harkat, as if he already knew everything about him.
He also had a way of staring at me oddly. I'd catch him looking at me, when he thought my attention was elsewhere. It wasn't a threatening look. There was just something about the flickering of his eyes that for some reason unsettled me.
Harkat and I weren't hungry, but when we passed one of the open campfires and saw a pot of bubbling soup, I heard Darius's stomach rumble. "Want to eat?" I asked.
"I'm having dinner when I go home," he said.
"How about a snack, to keep you going?"
He hesitated, then licked his lips and nodded quickly. "But just a small bowl of soup," he snapped, as though we meant to force-feed him.
While Darius was downing the soup, Harkat asked if he lived nearby.
"Not far off," he answered vaguely.
"How did you find out about the show?"
Darius didn't look up. "A friend of mine Oggy Bas was here. He was going to take some seats we often come here when we want seats or railings. It's easy to get in and nobody cares what we take. He saw the circus tent and told me. I thought it was an ordinary circus until I came exploring yesterday."
"What sort of a name is Oggy Bas?" I asked.
"Oggy's short for Augustine," Darius explained.
"Did you tell Oggy what the Cirque Du Freak really was?" Harkat asked.
"Nah," Darius said. "He's got a big mouth. He'd tell everybody and they'd all come. I like being the only one who knows about it."
"So you're a boy who knows how to keep a secret," I chuckled. "Of course, the downside is that since nobody knows you're here, if wedid kidnap you or feed you to the Wolf Man, nobody would know where to look."
I was joking, but Darius reacted sharply. He half-bolted to his feet, dropping the unfinished bowl of soup. Acting instinctively, I snatched for the bowl, and with my vampire speed I caught it before it hit the ground. But Darius thought I meant to strike him. He threw himself backwards and roared, "Leave me alone!"
I took a surprised step back. The other people around the fire were gawping at us. Harkat's green eyes were on Darius, and there was more than just surprise in his expression he looked wary too.
"Easy," I half-laughed, lowering the bowl, then raising my hands in a gesture of friendship. "I'm not going to hurt you."