Stevie Rae's expression shifted again. Now she looked broken, utterly defeated. "You don't want me to be part of your circle anymore."
"It's not that! It's just that you're the one who needs to be healed, so it might be best if you're in the center of the circle with me instead of standing in your normal place." I sighed and shook my head. "I need to do some more research."
"Do it fast, okay?"
"I will. And you have to promise me that you'll go easy on the blood and stay here and focus on your connection with earth," I said.
"Okay. I'll try."
I squeezed her hand and then pried mine from her grip. "I'm sorry, but I gotta go. Neferet is having a special ritual for Professor Nolan, and then I have to do the Full Moon Ritual thing." And I was going to have to hit the library again and come up with some kind of ritual that might help Stevie Rae. And I didn't have a clue what to do about Loren. And Erik was probably going to be mad at me for taking off. And I hadn't broken up with Heath. Jeesh, my head hurt. Again.
"It's been a month."
"Huh?" I was standing, and already distracted with thinking about all the ands I had to deal with.
"I died during the last full moon, and that was one month ago.
That got all of my attention. "That's right. It has been a month. I wonder "
"If that might mean something? If tonight might be the right time to try to fix whatever happened with me?"
I almost flinched at the sound of her hope-filled voice. "I don't know. Maybe."
"Should I try to get on campus tonight?"
"No! The place is crawling with warriors. They'd grab you for sure."
"Maybe they should," she said slowly. "Maybe everyone should know about me."
I rubbed my head, trying to understand what my gut was telling me. It'd been shouting to keep Stevie Rae a secret for so long that I couldn't tell if I was still supposed to keep her hidden, or whether what I was feeling were just echoes and confusion (and probably some desperation and depression thrown in there, too).
"I don't know about that. II need a little more time, okay?"
Stevie Rae's shoulders slumped. "Okay. But I don't think there's enough of me left to last another month."
"I know. I'll hurry," I said inanely. I bent and hugged her quickly. "Bye. Don't worry. I'll be back soon. Promise."
"If you figure it out, just text me or something and I'll come. Okay?"
"Okay." I turned at the door. "I love you, Stevie Rae. Don't forget that. We're still best friends."
She didn't say anything, but nodded, looking bleak. I called night and mist and magic to me and hurried out into the darkness.
CHAPTER 20
Naturally, I got caught sneaking back on campus. I'd already floated back over the wall. (Yes, I literally floated, which was too cool for words.) I was making my way back to the dorm with what I considered excellent speed and stealth when I practically ran into thema group of vamps and upperclassmen ringed by at least a dozen of the warrior mountains (I did see the Twins and Damien in the group, so Aphrodite had been right, Neferet was including my Prefect Council). I froze, stepped back into the shadow of a big oak, and held my breath, hoping that my newfound cool power of invisibility (or maybe mist-ability was a better way of describing it) would let me remain unseen. Unfortunately, as I watched, Neferet paused, which caused the entire dang group to pause. She cocked her head and I swear she sniffed the breeze like a bloodhound. Then her eyes went to my treemy hidey placeand seemed to bore into me. And just like that I lost concentration. My skin shivered and I knew I was completely visible again.
"Oh, Zoey! There you are. I was just asking your friends"she paused long enough to give the Twins, Damien, and (eek!) Erik one of her amazing one-hundred-twenty-five-watt smiles "where you could have gotten off to." She dimmed the smile and exchanged it for a perfect look of motherly concern. "Now is not the time to wander about by yourself."
"Sorry. I, uh, I needed " I trailed off, majorly aware that all eyes were on me.
"She needed to be alone before the rituals," Shaunee said, stepping up to put an arm through mine.
"Yeah, she always needs to be alone before rituals. It's a Zoey thing," Erin said, moving to my other side and taking my other arm.
"Yep, we call it Z.A.T.Zoey Alone Time," Damien said, joining the three of us.
"It's kinda annoying, but what can you do?" Erik said, moving around behind me to rest his warm hands on my shoulders. "That's our Z."
I had to struggle not to burst into tears. My friends were the best. Of course, Neferet probably knew they were lying, but they'd done it in a way that made it look like I was probably only up to little teenage mischief (i.e., sneaking out to break up with a boyfriend) versus big, scary mischief (i.e., hiding my undead dead best friend).
"Well, I want you to be sure you limit your alone time in the near future," Neferet told me in a mildly chastising tone.
"I will. Sorry," I mumbled.
"And now, on to the ritual." Regally, Neferet strode out from the group, causing the warriors to scramble to keep up with her and leaving me and my little cluster of friends in the figurative dust.
Of course, we followed her. What else could we do?
"So, did you get the dirty done?" Shaunee whispered.
"Huh?" I blinked in shock at her. How did she know I'd been ho-ishly grinding against Heath. Did it show? God, I was going to die if it showed!
Erin rolled her eyes. "Heath. Breakup. You with him," she whispered.
"Oh, that. Well, I, uh"
"I was worried about you today." Erik had moved up and neatly nudged Shaunee from her place beside me. I expected the Twins to hiss and spit at him, but instead they waggled their brows at us and fell back to walk with Damien. I heard Shaunee murmur, "So damn fiiiiine." Jeesh, they could face Neferet, but Erik's hotness totally did them in.
"Sorry," I said hastily, feeling guilty about how nice it felt when he took my hand. "I didn't mean to worry you. I just had, well, stuff."
Erik grinned and laced his fingers through mine. "I hope you got rid of himI mean, that particular stuff this time."
I sent daggerlike looks over my shoulder at the Twins, who tried to look innocent. "Traitors!" I muttered.
"Don't be pissed at them. I used my unfair advantage and bribed them with their weakness."
"Shoes?"
"Something they like better, at least for a moment in time. T. J. and Cole."
"That was very sly of you," I said.
"And not very tough to manage. T. J. and Cole think the Twins are dead sexy," Erik said, using an excellent Scottish accent and proving, again, what an old movie dork he was (helloAustin Powers).
"T. J. and Cole called the Twins dead sexy in that awful accent?"
He squeezed my hand playfully. "My accent isn't awful."
"You're right. It's not." I smiled up into his clear blue eyes and wondered how I could have gotten myself into a position where I was double cheating on him.
"How are you today, Zoey?"
I knew through our joined hands Erik could feel the shock that went through my body at the sound of Loren's voice.
"I'm fine. Thanks," I said.
"You slept well last night? I wondered how you'd managed after I left you at the dorm." Loren gave Erik what was obviously a patronizing, I'm-way-older-than-you smile and explained, "Zoey had quite a shock yesterday."
"Yeah, I know." Erik's clipped the words out. I could feel the tension between them and wondered a little frantically if anyone else had noticed. When I heard Shaunee's whispered, "Damn, girl!" and Erin's "Um-hum!" I had to force myself not to groan. Clearly everyone else (translation: the Twins) noticed.
By then we'd caught up to the group of adults that were now standing around what I realized was the trapdoor in the east wall. Ignoring the potentially explosive boyfriend situation I'd put myself right smack in the middle of, I said, "Hey! Why are we stopped here?"
"Neferet is offering prayers for Professor Nolan's spirit, as well as invoking a protective spell around the school grounds," Loren said. His voice sounded way too friendly and his gaze felt way too warm as our eyes met and locked. God, he was utterly gorgeous. I remembered how his lips had felt against mine and
And then I realized what he'd just said.
"But isn't her blood and stuff still" I trailed off helplessly, making a vague gesture out at the grassy area on the other side of the wall, the horrible grassy area that had been drenched with Professor Nolan's blood just yesterday.
"No, don't worry. Neferet has had it cleansed," Loren said gently.
For a second I thought he was going to touch me right there in front of everyone. I even felt Erik tense, like he expected it, too, then Neferet's solemn but powerful voice broke through our little drama, calling everyone's attention to her.
"We are going to move through the trapdoor to the site of the atrocity. Make a crescent around the statue of our beloved Goddess, which I placed in the exact spot Professor Nolan's ravaged body was discovered. I ask that you concentrate your hearts and minds on sending positive energy to our fallen sister as her spirit flies free to the wondrous realm of Nyx. Fledglings," her gaze swooped over us, "I want you each to take your position by the candle which represents your element." Neferet's eyes were kind, her voice gentle. "I know it is unusual to use fledglings in an adult ritual, but never before has a House of Night been gifted with so many extraordinary young people at one time, and today I believe it is only right that I tap into your affinities to add power to what we ask of Nyx." I could practically feel Damien and the Twins vibrating with excitement. "Can you do this for me, for us, fledglings?"
Damien and the Twins nodded like crazed bobble-heads. Neferet's green eyes moved to me. I nodded once. The High Priestess smiled, and I wondered if anyone else could see past her beautiful exterior to the cold, calculating person within.
Looking pleased with herself, Neferet turned and ducked through the open trapdoor followed closely by the rest of us. I'd readied myself for something terrible, or at the very least for something bloody, but Loren had been right. The area that had been so gruesome just yesterday had been completely cleansed of any nastiness, and I wondered briefly how the Tulsa cops had gathered their evidence, and then shook myself. Surely Neferet had waited for them to do their job before she'd cleaned everything. Hadn't she?
In the spot where Professor Nolan's body had been there was now a beautiful statue of Nyx that looked like it had been carved from a single slab of onyx. Her hands were upraised, and within them she held a thick green candle symbolizing earth. Without speaking, the vamps formed a semicircle around the statue. Damien and the Twins moved to stand behind the oversized candles that represented each of their elements. I didn't really want to, but I took my place by the purple candle that symbolized spirit. I could see the warriors had spread out and were surrounding us. With their backs to our group they stared out into the night, bristling with alertness.
Without any of her usual theatrics (which were always cool to watch), Neferet walked to Damien, who was nervously holding the yellow wind candle, and raised the ceremonial lighter.
"It fills us and breathes life into us. I call wind to our circle." Neferet's voice was strong and clear, obviously augmented by the power of a High Priestess. She touched the lighter to the candle's wick and instantly wind whipped around Damien and her. Neferet's back was to me, so I couldn't see her face, but Damien's smile was wide and joyous. I tried not to scowl. The sacred circle was not the right place for me to be pissed off, but I couldn't help feeling annoyed. Why was I the only one who could see Neferet's fakeness?
She moved to Shaunee. "It warms and succors us. I call fire to our circle." As I'd experienced several times before, Shaunee's red candle burst into flame before the lighter touched it. Shaunee's smile was almost as bright as her element.
Neferet followed the circle around to Erin. "It soothes and washes us. I call water to our circle." As the candle lit I heard waves crashing on a distant beach and smelled salt and sea in the night breeze.
I watched carefully as Neferet moved to stand before the statue of Nyx and the green candle. The High Priestess bowed her head. "The fledgling who personified this element perished, and it is fitting that the position of earth remain empty tonight, and that it rests upon the spot our beloved Patricia Nolan's body has so recently rested upon. It sustains us. From it we are born, and to it we all shall return. I call earth to our circle." Neferet lit the green candle, and though it burned brightly I didn't smell even a hint of green meadows or wildflowers.
Then Neferet was standing in front of me. I don't know what kind of expression she'd showed Damien and the Twins, but to me her face was strong and stern, and amazingly beautiful. She reminded me of one of the ancient vampyre Amazon warriors, and I almost forgot that she was actually dangerous.
"It is our essence. I call spirit to our circle." Neferet lit my purple candle and I felt my soul lift with the tickle-tummy feeling a roller coaster gives me. The High Priestess didn't pause to share any kind of special look with me, instead she began to work the crowd. Walking around inside the circle, making eye contact with the vampyres who surrounded us, she got right to the point. "It hasn't happened for more than one hundred yearsnot so openlynot so brutally. Humans have murdered one of us. In this case they have awakened not a sleeping giant, but have provoked a leopard who they believed was tamed." Neferet's voice rose, powerful with anger. "She is not tamed!" The little hairs on my arms lifted. Neferet was amazing. How could someone who was so blessed by Nyx have gone as wrong as I knew she'd gone? "They believe our fangs have been filed flat and our claws removed, like a fat household tabby. Again, they are wrong." She raised her arms over her head. "From this sacred circle, cast on the site of a murder, we call on our Goddess, Nyx, the beautiful Personification of Night. We ask that she welcome Patricia Nolan to her bosom, though it is decades too early for her to have departed. We also ask Nyx to rouse her righteous anger, and with the sweetness of her divine fury, to grant us this spell of protection so that we will not be caught in the humans' murderous web." As she spoke the spell Neferet walked back to Nyx's statue.
"Protect us with the night;
above all it is in darkness we delight. "
When she turned to face the crowd I saw that she was now holding a small, ivory-handled knife with a wickedly-sharp-looking curved blade.
"Around this coven we ask
Nyx's curtain to be cast."
With one hand she lifted the knife. With the other she wove intricate shapes in the air that around her became glittery and semi-substantial as she continued incanting the spell.
"All who enter or leave I shall detect,
vampyre, fledgling, human, all will be checked.
If harm is meant
to my will it shall be bent."
Then, in a fast, ferocious gesture, Neferet slashed through her wrist, so deep that her blood instantly began to spurt, red and rich, hot and delicious. The scent washed around me, automatically making my mouth water. With grim determination, the High Priestess walked the circumference of the circle so that her blood fell around us in a scarlet arch, sprinkling grass that had so recently been soaked with Professor Nolan's blood. Finally she reached Nyx's statue again. Neferet lifted her face to the night sky and completed the spell.
"My blood binds thee,
so mote it be."
I swear the night air rippled all around us, and for a moment I could actually see something settle on the walls of the school, like a black, gauzy curtain. She's set a spell that will not just tell her when danger enters the school, but when anyone enters or leaves it. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from groaning. No way was the curtain of a goddess going to be fooled by my little Bram Stoker-ing. How in the hell was I going to sneak Stevie Rae her blood?
Completely preoccupied with my own drama, I hardly noticed when Neferet closed the circle. Woodenly, I let the tide of people carry me back through the trapdoor. I only snapped out of it when Loren's deep voice sounded surprisingly close to my ear.
"I'll meet you in the rec hall in a little while." I looked up at him. My face must have been a complete question mark because he added, "Your Full Moon Ritual. I'm your bard tonight for the opening of the circle, remember?"
Before I could say anything Shaunee's voice purred, "We always look forward to hearing you recite poetry, Professor Blake."
"Yeah, wouldn't miss it. Not even for a shoe sale at Saks," Erin added, eyes twinkling.
"Then I'll see you there," Loren said, his eyes never leaving my face. He smiled, gave me a little bow, and hurried away.
"Dee-lish-us" Erin said.
"Ditto, Twin," Shaunee said.
"I think he's slimy."
We all looked up to see Erik glaring at Loren's back.
"Oh, no way!" Shaunee said.
"Luscious Loren Blake is just being friendly," Erin said, rolling her eyes at Erik like he was insane.
"Hello! Don't go all psycho-jealous boyfriend on Z," Shaunee said.
"Uh, I gotta go change," I blurted, not wanting to even comment on Erik's way-too-obvious jealousy. "Could you guys go on to the rec hall and make sure everything's ready? I'll run to the dorm and be back in just a sec."
"No problem," the Twins said together.
"We'll take care of the last-minute stuff," Damien said.
Erik didn't say anything. I smiled a quick and, I hoped, non-guilty smile at him, and took off down the sidewalk to the dorm. I could feel eyes on me and knew with a terrible sinking feeling that I was going to have to do something about Erik and Loren (and Heath). But what the hell was I going to do?
I was crazy about Heath. And his blood.
Erik was an amazing guy who I really, really liked.
Loren was completely delicious.
Jeesh, I sucked.
CHAPTER 21
I was trying to convince myself that this ritual was going to be a snap. I'd just cast a quick circle, offer up prayers for Professor Nolan, announce that Aphrodite was rejoining the Dark Daughters (which would be obvious after she showed her affinity for earth), and then say that because of the stress that the school has been dealing with I've decided not to Tap any new Prefect Council members till the end of the school year. It really should be an easy ritual, I told my knotted stomach over and over again. Nothing like last month when Stevie Rae died. Nothing that bad could happen tonight. Dressed and as ready as I was going to be, I opened the door to find Aphrodite standing there.
"Take a breath, will ya?" she said, backing out of my way. "Hello! They have to wait for you."
"Aphrodite, has no one ever told you that it's rude to keep people waiting?" I said as I hurried down the hall, practically skipped down the stairs two at a time, and rushed out of the dorm with Aphrodite scrambling to keep up with me. I nodded at Darius, who had taken up his position outside, and he saluted me.
"You know, those warriors really are some totally hot-looking vamps," Aphrodite said, craning her neck around to get a last view of Darius. Then she shot me a curled lip look and said in her stuck-up, rich-girl's voice, "And no, no one has ever told me it's rude to keep people waiting. I was raised to keep people waiting. As far as my mother's concerned, the sun waits for her before it rises and sets."
I rolled my eyes.
"So how did Neferet's ritual go?"
"Fabulous. She set a protective curtain around the school. No one gets in or out without her knowing about it. Couldn't be better. Oh, that is, unless you're us."
Even though there was no one around us, Aphrodite lowered her voice. "She's still gulping down the bags of blood?"
"She's barely hanging on. We gotta do something soon."
"I don't know what the hell you think we're gonna do," Aphrodite said. "You're the one with the mega-powers. I'm just along for the ride." She paused and lowered her voice even more. "Plus, I don't know what you expect to do. She's gross and more than a little bit scary."
"She's my best friend," I whispered fiercely.
"No. She used to be your best friend. Now she's a scary undead dead girl who drinks blood like pop."
"She's still my best friend," I repeated stubbornly.
"Fine. Whatever. Then heal her."
"Okay, it's so not that simple."
"How do you know? Have you tried?"
And I stopped totally dead in my tracks. "What did you just say?"
Aphrodite raised an eyebrow at me, shrugged, and looked utterly bored. "Something like, have you tried?"
"Holy crap! Could it be that easy? I mean, I've been spending all this time looking for a spell or a ritual or aasomething specific and amazing and totally magical, and maybe all I needed to do is just ask Nyx to heal her." And as I stood there basking in my ohmygod moment, I heard Nyx's voice echo through my mind, repeating what the goddess had told me a month ago right before I used my elemental powers to break the blocks Neferet had put in my memory: I wish to remind you that the elements can restore as well as destroy.
"Holy crap? You said holy crap? You know, that's another almost cuss. I'm starting to worry about your terrible potty mouth."
Feeling suddenly so utterly happy and hopeful that not even Aphrodite could piss me off, I laughed. "Come on! Worry about my mouth later." I took off again, almost jogging down the sidewalk.
There was another of the warriors standing outside the rec hall, a huge black vamp who looked like he should have been a professional wrestler. Aphrodite made a little purring sound at him, and he gave her a sexy, yet somehow still warrior-like smile. She hung back to do more flirting.
"Don't be late!" I hissed back at her.
"Relax your panties. I'll be in there in a sec." She waved me off and shot me a look that reminded me it was better if she and I weren't seen hanging out together. I gave her a tight little nod and went on in.
"Z! There you are." Jack came scampering over to me with Damien close behind him.
"Sorry. I hurried as fast as I could," I said.
Damien smiled. "Not a problem. Everything's ready for you." His smile faded a little. "Well, except Aphrodite. She's nowhere to be seen."
"I've seen her. She's coming. Go ahead and take your place."
Damien nodded. He went back to the circle and Jack moved over to the audio equipment area (the kid is a genius with any kind of electronic equipment).
"Whenever you're ready, just let me know," he called.
I smiled at him, then looked back at the circle. The Twins waved at me from their places in the south and west. Erik was standing near the empty spot behind the earth candle. He caught my eyes and winked at me. I smiled back, but wondered why he was standing so close to where he knew Aphrodite was going to be.
Speaking of Annoyed that she had managed to make me wait for her, I glanced at the door in time to see Aphrodite twitch into the room. I watched her hesitate, and thought her face went kinda pale as she looked over at the circle of waiting Dark Daughters and Sons. Then she lifted her chin and tossed back her blond mane, and ignoring everyone, she strutted straight over to the northernmost part of the circle to stand behind the green candle. As kids caught sight of her, the easy talking was cut off like someone had pressed a mute button. No one said anything for a couple seconds, and then low whispering started. Aphrodite just stood there behind the candle, looking calm and beautiful and very stuck-up.
"Better get this thing started before you have a mutiny."
This time I didn't jump at the sound of Loren's deep, sexy voice coming from close behind me. I did turn around, though, mostly so that people (Erik) couldn't see what I'm sure was an inappropriate-for-public-consumption look on my face as I smiled up at him.
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I said.
"And she's supposed to be here?" Loren jerked his chin in the direction of Aphrodite.
"Sadly, yes," I said.
"This should be interesting."
"That's me and my lifeinteresting. As in a isn't-that-car-wreck-interesting kind of a way."
Loren laughed. "Break a leg."
"To me that would happen literally." I sighed, settled my face, and turned back around to face the circle. "I'm ready," I said.
"I'll cue the music. You start your dance to the center as I recite the poem," Loren said.
I nodded and concentrated on my breathing and settling myself. When the music started, the whispering circle went completely still. All eyes were on me. I didn't recognize the song, but the beat was steady, rhythmic, sonorous, reminding me of a pulse. My body automatically picked it up and I began to move around the outside of the circle.
Loren's voice complemented the music perfectly.
"I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rainand back in rain"
The words of the old poem set the mood perfectly, somehow conjuring images of the otherworldliness that I'd begun to be comfortable with during my solitary trips away from campus.
"I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his heat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain. "
I could almost feel the darkness of last night and how it seemed to seep into my skin. And I knew again the sense that I belonged more to it than to the human world that surrounded me. As I moved into the circle, I shivered and heard Damien's small gasp of surprise, and I knew that mist and magic had taken over my body.
"And further still at an unearthly height,
A luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night."
Loren's voice faded away and I twirled around one last time, willing away the sense of mist and magic, so that I was now fully visible. Still filled with night magic, I picked up the ritual lighter from the riches-laden table in the center of the circle and realized that maybe for the first time I felt like a true High Priestess of Nyx, drenched in the Goddess's magic and complete with her power. All the stress I'd been dealing with was washed away by a wave of happiness. I walked lightly over to stand in front of Damien.
He smiled and whispered, "That was really cool!"
I smiled back at him and lifted the lighter. The words that came instinctively to my mind had to have come from Nyx. I'd definitely never been so poetic. "Soft and whispering winds from afar, greetings be unto thee. In the name of Nyx I call you to blow clear and fresh and free, and call you here to me!" I touched the flame to the wick on Damien's yellow candle and was instantly surrounded by a sweet, caressing wind.
I hurried to Shaunee and her red candle. Deciding to go with the special sense of priestess magic I was feeling, I began the invocation without lifting the lighter. "Warming and quickening fire from afar, with the warmth that brings forth life, and in the name of Nyx, I send greetings unto thee, and call you here to me!" I flicked my fingers at the candlewick, and it burst into a beautiful flame. Shaunee and I grinned at each other before I followed the circle around to Erin.
"Cool waters of lake and of stream from afar, I offer greetings to thee. Flow clear and pure and swift in magical presence here. In the name of Nyx manifest so that we shall see, as I call you here to me!" I touched the lighter to Erin's blue candle and loved how the kids standing closest to her gasped and laughed as water that was visible, but that didn't actually touch them, lapped all around Erin's feet.
"Easy-peasy," Erin whispered.
I grinned and moved clockwise to stand in front of Aphrodite and her green candle. The gentle laughter and happy whispering that had been traveling through the group with me quieted. Aphrodite's face was an emotionless mask. It was only in her eyes that I could see her nervous fear, and I wondered for a second how long she'd been hiding her emotions. Knowing her nightmare parents, I figured it had been a long time.
"It's going to be okay," I whispered almost without moving my lips at all.
"I may puke," she whispered back.
"Nah!" I grinned. And then lifted my voice and spoke the beautiful words that were floating through my mind. "Lands afar and wild places of the earth, greetings I say unto thee. Awaken from your mossy sleep to bring forth bounty and beauty and stability. In Nyx's name I call earth here to me!" I lit Aphrodite's candle and the fresh, rich scent of a newly mown hay field completely filled the rec hall. The sound of chirping birds surrounded us. Lilacs made the air so sweet that it was like we'd been spritzed with the lightest and most perfect perfume ever. I met Aphrodite's shining eyes, and then turned to glance around the rest of the circle. Everyone was staring at Aphrodite, shocked into absolute silence.