"Ditto, Twin," Erin said.
"I may puke at the nerd herdishness of this," Aphrodite said.
"Shut up!" the Twins said.
I looked at each of my friends. As much as I didn't want to, I had to tell them about Loren. I also had to tell them about Stevie Rae. And I had to do it before what Neferet said came true before my lies and my secrets pissed them off so much that I lost them.
"It's messed up and complicated, and not very pretty," I said.
"Oh, you mean like Aphrodite," Erin said.
"No problem. We're getting used to that," Shaunee said.
"Die Dorkamese Twins," Aphrodite said.
"If you three would shut up, Zoey might be able to explain what's wrong," Damien said with exaggerated patience.
"Sorry," the Twins muttered.
Aphrodite just rolled her eyes.
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to start the whole horrible story when Jack's perky voice interrupted me.
"Okay! I found him!"
Jack scampered up. His cute grin fading a little when he caught sight of me, proving that I really must look as bad as I felt. Then he hurried over to sit beside Damien, leaving Erik standing alone staring down at me.
"Go ahead, honey," Damien said, patting my shoulder again. "We're all here now. Tell us what's wrong."
I couldn't speak. All I could do was stare at Erik. His face was a handsome, unreadable mask. Or at least it was unreadable until he started speaking, then his blank expression changed to disgust. His deep, expressive voice was a sneer.
"You want to tell them, honey, or should I?"
I wanted to say something. I wanted to yell at him to stopto please forgive methat he'd been right and I'd been so damn wrong that it was making me sick. But the only thing that came out of my mouth was a whispered no, so soft that I don't think Damien even heard me. Soon I realized it wouldn't have mattered if I'd shouted. Erik had come there to get back at me, and nothing was going to stop him.
"Fine. I'll tell them." Erik looked at each of my friends. "Our Z's been fucking Loren Blake."
"What!" the Twins said together.
"Impossible," Damien said.
"Nu-uh," Jack sputtered.
Aphrodite didn't say anything.
"It's true. I saw them. Today. In the rec hall. You know, when all of you thought she was oh-so-upset because I'd Changed? Yeah, Zoey, I saw how upset you were. So upset you had to suck Blake's blood and ride him like a horse."
"Loren Blake?" Shaunee said, sounding utterly stunned.
"Mr. Luscious? The guy we've been talking about eating like he was a Dove chocolate bar all semester?" Mirroring her twin's tone, Erin gave me a shocked, horrified look. "You must have thought we were completely pathetic."
"Yeah, why didn't you say something?" Shaunee said.
" 'Cause if Zoey'd told you how in love they were, you might not have been cool with her using me and pretending like we were together so she could sneak around and be with Blake. And anyway, she probably liked laughing at you two," Erik said cruelly.
"I wasn't using you." I said to Erik, surprising myself with how strong my voice suddenly sounded. "And I never laughed at you two, I promise," I told the Twins.
"Yeah, and your word is something they can really trust," Erik said. "She's a lying slut. She used all of you just like she used me."
"All right, time for you to shut up now," Aphrodite said.
Erik laughed, "Oh, that's perfect. One slut standing up for another."
Aphrodite's eyes narrowed and she lifted her right hand. The branches of the oak closest to Erik's head swayed down toward him and I heard the warning sounding cracking of wood. "You do not want to piss me off anymore," she said. "You claim to care so much for Zoey, but you've turned on her like a mangy-ass dog because she hurt your little ego. And I can verify for the masses that it is little. You did what you came here for, and now it's time for you to leave."
Erik's brilliant blue eyes flicked back to me, and for a second I thought I saw the old Erik in themthe great guy who had been falling in love with mebut then the pain in his expression drowned out the last of his gentleness. "Fine with me. I'm outta here," he said before walking off.
I looked at Aphrodite. "Thanks," I said.
"No problem. I know what it's like to fuck up big time and have people hold it against you forever."
"You've really been with Professor Blake?" Damien asked.
I nodded.
"Holy," Shaunee said.
"Shit," Erin said.
"He's really, really handsome," Jack said.
I took another deep breath and blurted, "Loren Blake is the biggest fucking asshole I've ever known."
"Wow. You cussed," Aphrodite said.
"So he was just using you for sex?" Damien said. He was back to patting my shoulder again.
"Not exactly." I paused and wiped a hand across my face like I could make myself magically say the right thing. It was time to tell them about Stevie Rae. I wished I'd had a chance to practice what I was going to say. I glanced up to see Aphrodite watching me, and felt ridiculously glad she was there. At least she could back me up and maybe help Damien and the Twins understand.
Then a weird sound came from somewhere on the wall behind me. I wasn't sure I'd actually heard anything at all until Damien looked over my shoulder and said, "What was that?"
"It's the trapdoor," Aphrodite said. "It's opening."
A terrible premonition shivered down my spine. I was standing up, making Nala complain loudly and the Twins give me crinkled-forehead looks of confusion when Stevie Rae's voice came from the other side of the opening door.
"Zoey? It's me."
I sprinted for the trapdoor, yelling, "No, Stevie Rae! Stay on"
And, frowning at me, Stevie Rae walked through the trapdoor in the wall that surrounded the school. "Zoey? I" she started to say, then she noticed everyone who was standing behind me, and she froze.
On the ground beside me Nala yowled, and with a wickedly arched back she started to hurl herself at Stevie Rae, hissing and spitting like psycho cat. Thankfully, my fledgling reflexes allowed me to grab her before she got past me. "Nala, no! It's just Stevie Rae," I said, struggling with the freaked-out cat and trying not to get scratched or bit. Stevie Rae had lunged back and was crouching defensively in the shadow of the wall. All I could clearly see of her was the glowing red of her eyes.
"Stevie Rae?" Damien sounded strangled.
With a command to "Be good, Nala!" I tossed my cat away so I could focus on my friends, but before I turned to face them I walked over to Stevie Rae. She didn't run away from me, but she definitely looked like she could bolt at any second. And she looked like crap, too. Her face was too thin and pale. She hadn't combed her curly blond hair and it looked matted and dull. Actually, the only thing shiny and healthy about her was her creepily glowing red eyesand I already knew that wasn't a good sign.
"How are you?" I asked in a calm, quiet voice.
"Not good," she said. Her eyes darted over my shoulder, and she cringed. "It's hard to see them again, especially when I feel like I'm losing it."
"You're not going to lose it," I said firmly. "Brace yourself. They don't know about you."
"You didn't tell them?" Stevie Rae looked like I'd just slapped her.
"Long story," I said quickly. "Hey, why are you here?"
Her brow wrinkled. " 'Cause you texted me and told me to meet you here."
I closed my eyes against a new wave of pain. Loren. He'd taken my phone. He'd text messaged Stevie Rae. Or more accurately, Neferet had probably done the actual texting. She hadn't known I'd be out here, but she had knownthanks to Lorenthat I hadn't told my friends about Stevie Rae. She'd also known that Loren had no intention of making sure Erik didn't tell anyone about us. She knew he would freak and tell the world (or at least my friends) about Loren and me, and that secret would be out. Stevie Rae being discovered on campus would be yet another secret of mine discovered. I could almost hear my friends' thinking: How can we ever trust Zoey again? And feel them pulling farther and farther away from me.
Two points for Neferet. Zero points for Zoey.
I took Stevie Rae's unyielding hand, and even though I had to pull hard, I started walking with her back to where Damien, the Twins, Jack, and Aphrodite were standingfour of the five of them staring at Stevie Rae with their mouths open. Might as well get this over with before we were overrun with vamp warriors and the whole damn school found out everything and my life came crashing down around me.
"Stevie Rae isn't dead," I told them.
"Yeah, I am," Stevie Rae said.
I sighed. "Stevie Rae. We are so not going to have this argument again. You're walking and talking. And you're solid flesh." I held up our joined hands in demonstration. "So you're not dead."
Somewhere in the middle of my argument with Stevie Rae the sound of sobs registered. It was the Twins. They were still staring at Stevie Rae, but had clutched on to each other and were bawling like babies. I started to say something to them, but Damien interrupted me.
"How?" His face was stark white, completely drained of color. He took one hesitant step forward. "How can this be?"
"I died," Stevie Rae's voice was as pale and lifeless as Damien's face. "Then I woke up like this, which, in case you can't already tell, isn't like I used to be."
"You smell funny," Jack said.
Stevie Rae turned her glowing eyes on him. "And you smell like dinner."
"Stop it!" I jerked on Stevie Rae's hand. "They're your friends. You shouldn't be scaring them."
She yanked her hand from my grip. "That's what I've been trying to tell you all this time, Zoey. They're not my friends. You're not my friend. Not now. Not after what happened to me. I know you think you can fix this, but the only reason I came here tonight is to tell you that this has to end now. So, once and for all, either fix me, or leave me alone and let me finish becoming whatever bad thing it is I'm really supposed to be."
"We don't have time for this. Neferet put a spell on the perimeter of the school to let her know when any human, vamp, or fledgling comes or goes from here. You crossed the perimeter, so any second the Sons of Erebus are going to show up. I think you should go. I'll come to you as soon as I can, and we can finish this then."
"Hey, Zoey, I hate to contradict you, being as you're having a really shitty day, but I don't think the warriors are going to come because Neferet doesn't know Stevie Rae's here," Aphrodite said.
"Huh?" I said.
"Aphrodite's right," Damien said slowly, as if his brain was just then thawing out and starting to work again. "Neferet bespelled the perimeter to tell her if it's breached by any human, fledgling, or vampyre. Stevie Rae isn't any of those things, so the spell wouldn't work on her."
"Why is she here?" Stevie Rae said, glaring with hot red eyes at Aphrodite.
Aphrodite rolled her eyes, but I noticed she took several steps back so there was more space between Stevie Rae and her.
And then the Twins were suddenly standing in front of Stevie Rae. Shaunee and Erin were still crying, but quietly now, like they weren't even aware of it.
"You are alive," Shaunee said.
"We missed you so much," Erin said.
They threw their arms around Stevie Rae, who stood completely unmoving, like a statue of herself. Sometime in the middle of the hug Damien joined them. Stevie Rae didn't loosen up. She didn't put her arms around them. She closed her eyes and held perfectly still. I saw one blood-tinged tear spill from her eye and roll down her cheek.
CHAPTER 26
"You have to let me go, now." Stevie Rae's voice was rough and strained and sounded totally unlike her. So it had the desired effect. Damien and the Twins instantly stopped hugging her.
"You do smell funny," Shaunee said, trying to smile through her tears.
"Yeah, not to be mean or anything," Erin said.
"But we don't care," Damien added.
"Hey, nerd herd members who are still alive," Aphrodite called from where she'd retreated to under the big oak tree. "I suggest you step away from the undead dead kid. She bites."
"You bite!" Shaunee snapped.
"Bitch!" Erin said.
"She's telling you the truth," Stevie Rae said. Then she looked from Damien and the Twins to me. "Explain it to them."
"Stevie Rae has an issue with blood. She has to have it. Or she gets kinda cranky."
Under the tree Aphrodite snorted.
"Tell them the truth," Stevie Rae said.
I sighed in resignation and gave them the short version. "She's just one of a bunch of fledglings who died and then came back like this. They're what killed those Union football players last month. And they almost killed Heath. Getting Heath away from them was how I found out about Stevie Rae. Only she is different than they are. She still has a hold on her humanity."
"But it's slipping," Aphrodite chimed in.
I frowned at her. "Yeah, you could say that. So what we need to do is to heal Stevie Rae so she can be like she used to be."
The Twins and Damien were quiet for what seemed like a long time. And then Damien said, "You've known about this for a month and you haven't said anything to any of us?"
"You let us think that Stevie Rae was dead," Shaunee said.
"You acted like you thought she was dead, too," Erin said.
"Morons! She couldn't tell you. You have no idea what kind of forces are at work here," Aphrodite said.
"You sound like a bad Sci-Fi Channel movie," Shaunee said.
"Yeah, we're not buying, bitch," Erin said.
"You've known about this for a month and you haven't said anything to any of us." This time Damien didn't phrase it like a question.
"Aphrodite is right," I said. "I couldn't tell you about her. There were extenuating circumstances." There still were. It was better for them not to know Neferet was behind the whole thing, even if it made them hate me.
"I don't care what Aphrodite said. We're your friends. Your best friends. You should have told us," Damien said.
"Extenuating circumstances?" Erin said. "Seems Aphrodite is suddenly a part of those circumstances."
"Were there extenuating circumstances when you kept Loren a secret?" Shaunee said. Her voice was guarded. Her dark eyes narrowed at me warily.
I didn't know what to say. I could feel them slipping away from me, and the worst part of the whole thing was that I knew I deserved them to all turn their backs on me.
"How are we supposed to trust you if you keep things from us?" As usual, Damien summed up everyone's feelings in one simple sentence.
"I knew this was a bad idea," Stevie Rae said. "I'm outta here."
"What? You got people to eatplaces to terrorize?" Aphrodite said.
Stevie Rae spun around and snarled at her. "Maybe I should start with you, hag."
"Jeesh, relax. It was just a question." Aphrodite tried to sound nonchalant, but I could see the fear in her eyes.
I grabbed Stevie Rae's hand again and held tight when she tried to pull away. Ignoring her, I looked from Damien to the Twins. "Are you going to help me heal her or not?"
After only a little hesitation Damien said, "I'll help you, but I don't trust you anymore."
"Ditto," said the Twins together.
My stomach had rolled back into a sick, tight little ball and I wanted to plop down right there in the grass and cry and beg them, Don't stop being my friendsdon't stop trusting me! But I didn't. I couldn't. After all, they were right. Instead I nodded and said, "Okay, let's cast a circle and get her healed."
"We don't have any candles," Damien said.
"I can run and get some," Jack said. He didn't even look at me, but spoke directly to Damien.
"No. We don't have time for that," I said. "We don't need candles. We have the ability to manifest the elements. Candles are just ceremonial." I paused and added, "But I think you should probably go, Jack. I'm not sure what all's going to happen and I don't want to take a chance you might get hurt."
"O-okay," he stuttered. He put his hands in his pockets and walked slowly away.
"Looks like tonight we do away with ceremony," Damien said, giving me a hard look.
"Yeah, tonight we do away with a lot of things." Shaunee was watching me, but it felt like her eyes were those of a stranger. Erin nodded in silent but complete agreement with her.
I clamped my jaws shut to keep from screaming my pain and sorrow and fear. My friends were all I had. If I lost them, how would I survive? How would I stand against Neferet? How would I face Loren? How would I deal with the loss of Heath and Erik?
And then I remembered something I'd read in one of the old, musty books I'd been poring through when I was trying to find a magic bullet to help me heal Stevie Rae. A quote from one of the ancient vampyre Amazon High Priestesses had been written under her fierce, beautiful picture.
She'd said, Being Chosen of our Goddess is as much pain as it is privilege.
I was beginning to understand what that ancient priestess of Nyx had meant.
"Are we going to do this or not?" Aphrodite called from under the tree.
I pulled myself together. "Yes, we are. North is that way." I pointed to Aphrodite's tree. "Take your places." Still holding on to Stevie Rae's wrist, I walked to the center of the circle that was taking shape around me.
"If you don't let go of me, I can't go to the position of earth," Stevie Rae said.
I stared into her red eyes, trying to see some trace of my best friend, but only another cold-eyed stranger looked out at me.
"You're not going to be earth. You're going to stay in the center with me," I said.
"Then who's gonna complete the circle? Jack's gone, and anyway he's not exactly" She broke off as her eyes went to the top position of the circle and she saw Aphrodite standing there. "No!" Stevie Rae hissed. "Not her!"
"Oh, stop it!" I shouted, causing the elements to stir the air around me in response to my anger and frustration. "Aphrodite's standing in as earth. I'm sorry you don't like it. I'm sorry you don't like her. I'm sorry about a whole hell of a lot that I can't seem to do anything about. You're just going to have to deal with it, just like I'm dealing with it. Now stand here and be quiet and let's see if I can make this thing work."
I knew everyone was staring at me. The Twins and Damien with the accusatory eyes of strangers, Stevie Rae with anger and what I knew was real hatred, whether it was just directed at Aphrodite, or at Aphrodite and me I wasn't sure. I took a quick glance at Aphrodite. She was standing in the northern position and watching Stevie Rae with wary eyes.
Great. Like this atmosphere was good for goddess worship?
I closed my eyes and took several deep, long breaths to center myself. Nyx, I know I've messed up, but please be with me and my friends. Healing Stevie Rae is more important than the drama going on between us. Neferet wanted me separated from everyone so that I'd also separate myself from you. But I'm not going to stop depending on you believing in youever.
Then I opened my eyes and walked resolutely to Damien. He usually greeted me with a cute smile. Tonight he met my eyes steadily, but there was nothing sweet or friendly about him.
"As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the first element, wind!" I spoke with a strong, clear voice, raising my arms over my head when I said the element's name, and was unimaginably relieved when a powerful gust of air whirled around Damien and me, lifting our hair and making our clothes flap. I turned to my right and walked to Shaunee.
I didn't expect her to welcome me, and she didn't. She watched me silently with her dark, guarded eyes. I pushed back the despair her rejection made me feel and evoked fire.
"As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the second element, fire!"
I barely paused to feel the rush of heat that beat against my skin, but moved quickly to Erin, who as also silent and withdrawn.
"As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the third element, water!"
I turned my back on scents of the sea and walked over to Aphrodite. She met my gaze steadily and smiled grimly at me.
"It sucks to have your friends pissed at you, doesn't it?" She said it quietly, so that only I could hear her.
"Yeah," I whispered back. "And I'm sorry I had something to do with your friends getting pissed at you."
"Nah," she shook her head. "It wasn't you. It was my stupid shitty choices. Just like it's your stupid shitty choices that got you into this mess."
"Thanks for reminding me," I said.
"I'm just here to help," Aphrodite said. "Better hurry this thing along. Scary Stevie Rae is losing it."
I didn't have to look over my shoulder at Stevie Rae to know Aphrodite was right. I could feel Stevie Rae's restlessness increase. It was like she was a tightly wound rubber band that was getting ready to either break or zing out of control.
"As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the fourth element, earth!"
The clean, sweet scents of a spring meadow swirled around Aphrodite and me. I was still smiling when I turned to move back to the center of the circle and complete the casting by calling spirit when Stevie Rae broke.
"No!" The word was an almost unrecognizable snarl of rage and despair. "She can't be earth! I'm earth! It's all that's left of me! I won't let her take it away!"
With blinding swiftness, Stevie Rae hurled herself on Aphrodite.
"No! Stevie Rae, stop it!" I cried, trying to pull Stevie Rae off her, but it was like trying to move a marble column. She was too strong. Aphrodite had been right. Stevie Rae wasn't human or fledgling or vampyre. She was something moreand that more meant more dangerous. She was holding Aphrodite in an ugly parody of an embrace. I saw the sharp glint of her fangs and then Aphrodite screamed as Stevie Rae buried her teeth into her neck.
"Help me get her off!" I yelled, looking desperately at Damien and the Twins as I kept trying to pull Stevie Rae from Aphrodite.
"I can't!" Damien cried. "I can't move."
"We can't either!" Shaunee said.
The three of them had been rooted into place by their elements. Damien was being pressed to the ground by a furious wind. Shaunee was surrounded by a cage of fire. Erin was suddenly encased in a pool of bottomless water.
"You have to finish the circle!" Damien yelled above the wind. "Call all of the elements to help you. That's the only way you can save her."
I ran to the center of the circle. Raising my arms over my head I completed the casting. "As High Priestess in training for our Great Goddess Nyx, I use her power and authority to call to my circle the fifth and final element, spirit!"
Power surged through me. I gritted my teeth and tried to control the trembling within my body. Aphrodite's screams were getting weaker and weaker, but I couldn't think about that. I closed my eyes so that I could concentrate. Then I spoke the goddess-given words that drifted through my mind, like the sweet, sure answer to a child's prayer. My voice was magnified magically. I felt the words materialize, sparkling, in the air around me.
"Wind blow away that which is tainted
Fire burn through the blackness of hatred
Water wash clean evil intentions unsated
Earth nourish her soul with darkness abated
Spirited fill her so that from death she is emancipated!"
Like I was throwing a ball, I hurled at Stevie Rae the sizzling elemental power that I felt between my hands. At that moment I felt a searingly familiar pain ripple from the base of my spine all the way around my waist. My scream echoed Stevie Rae's.
I opened my eyes to a bizarre sight. Aphrodite had fallen to the ground during Stevie Rae's attack. Stevie Rae's back was to me, so I could only see Aphrodite's face. At first I didn't understand what was happening. They were surrounded by a swirling, glowing ball of power made up of all five of the elements. The two girls kept fading in and out of focus as the power rolled and thickened around them. But I could see that Stevie Rae was no longer holding on to Aphrodite. Now it was Aphrodite who was clutching Stevie Rae and forcing her to keep drinking from the wound on her neck. Stevie Rae was still drinking her blood, but she was struggling to stoptrying to pull away.
I rushed forward to try to separate them again, but when I hit the bubble of power it was like walking into a glass door. I couldn't get through it, and I had no idea how to open it.
"Aphrodite! Let her go! She's trying to stop before she kills you!" I cried.
Aphrodite's eyes met mine. Her lips didn't move, but I heard her voice clearly inside my head. No. This is how I make up for everything I caused. This time it's me who was Chosen. Remember, I made this sacrifice freely.
Then Aphrodite's eyes rolled back in her head and her body went limp as the breath slipped from between her smiling lips in a long sigh. With a terrible cry, Stevie Rae finally pulled away, collapsing on the ground beside Aphrodite's body. The bubble of power broke and then faded into nothingness. I knew the circle had been broken, too. I could feel the absence of the elements. I didn't know what to do. I didn't seem to be able to move.
Then Stevie Rae looked up at me. She was crying pink-tinged tears and her eyes were still a strange, reddish color. But her face was her own again. Even before she spoke I knew that whatever Neferet had broken in her when she'd caused her to become the walking, talking dead, had been healed.
"I killed her! II tried to stop! She wouldn't let me go, and I couldn't pull away! Oh, Zoey, I'm so sorry!" she sobbed.
I stumbled to her, Loren's words ringing in my head, You should keep in mind that you're invoking powerful magic, and there's always a cost associated with that. "It wasn't your fault, Stevie Rae." I told her. "You didn't"
"Her face!" Damien's voice came from just behind me. "Look at her Mark."
I blinked, not really understanding, and then I gasped. I'd been so busy looking into her eyes, so busy seeing the old Stevie Rae, that I hadn't noticed the obvious. The crescent moon that rested in the middle of her forehead had been filled in. A beautiful pattern of tattoos made of swirling flowers with long, graceful stems all twined together framed her eyes and stretched down her cheekbones.
But the tattoos weren't vampyre sapphire. They were the brilliant scarlet of new blood.
"What are y'all lookin' at?" Stevie Rae said.
"H-here," Erin fumbled with her ever-present purse and pulled out a makeup mirror, handing it to Stevie Rae. "Ohmygoodness!" Stevie Rae drawled. "What does it mean?"
"It means you're healed. You've Changed. But what you've Changed into is a new kind of vampyre," Aphrodite said, struggling to sit up.
CHAPTER 27
"Holy shit!" Shaunee squeaked and stumbled back, clutching onto Erin's arm to keep from falling over.
"You were dead!" Erin said.
"I don't think I was," Aphrodite said, rubbing her forehead with one hand and gingerly touching the bite mark on her neck with the other. "Ouch! Dammit, I hurt all over."
"I'm really really sorry, Aphrodite," Stevie Rae said. "I mean, I don't like you, but I sure wouldn't bite you. Or at least not now I wouldn't."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Aphrodite said. "Don't worry about it. It was all part of Nyx's plan, as painful and inconvenient as that might be." She winced again at the pain in her neck. "God, does anyone have a Band-Aid?"
"I have some tissue in here somewhere. Hang on and I'll see if I can find it," Erin said, digging through her purse again.
"Try to find a clean one for her, Twin. Aphrodite has enough stress to deal with without a nasty infection."
"Gee, that's so damn nice of you two," Aphrodite said. She glanced up at the Twins with a half smile on her face, and I got my first good look at her.
My stomach dropped down somewhere around my ankles.
"It's gone!" I gasped.
"Oh shit! Zoey's right," Damien said, staring at Aphrodite.
"What?" Aphrodite said. "What's gone?"
"Ah-oh," Shaunee said.
"Yep, it is gone," Erin said as she handed Aphrodite some tissue.
"What in the hell are you guys babbling about now?" Aphrodite said.
"Here. Use this." Stevie Rae passed the mirror to her. "Look at your face."