"I saw them and they reminded me of youperfect and exquisite and fiery."
"Oh, Loren! I've never had anything so beautiful." I leaned into him, tilting my face up, and he bent and put his arms around me and kissed me until I thought the top of my head would explode.
"Go ahead, put them on," Loren whispered to me while I was still trying to get my breath back after our kiss.
I hadn't put any earrings on when I got up, so it only took me a second to stick them through my ears.
"There's an old beveled mirror over in the reading corner. Come look at them." We stuck the books back on the shelf and Loren took my hand, guiding me over to the cozy corner of the media center that had a big, overstuffed sofa and two matching comfy chairs. On the wall between them was a large, obviously antique, gold-framed beveled mirror. Loren stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders so that both of us were reflected in the mirror. I pushed my thick hair behind my ears and turned my head from side to side so that the flickering gaslights caught the diamonds' facets so they glistened brilliantly.
"They're beautiful," I said.
Loren squeezed my shoulders and pulled me back against him. "Yes, you are," he said. Then, still holding my gaze in the mirror, he bent to nuzzle one of my diamond decorated earlobes and whispered, "I think you've done enough studying for one day. Come back to my room with me."
I watched my eyes become all heavy-lidded as he kissed my neck, following the path my tattoos took down to my shoulder. Then I realized what it was he was really asking and a jolt of fright bolted through my body. He wanted me to go back to his room and have sex! I didn't want to do that! Okay, well, maybe I did. In theory anyway. But to actually lose my virginity to this incredibly hot, experienced, manright now? Today? I gulped for air and stepped kinda awkwardly out of his arms. "II can't." While my mind was flailing around for something else I could say that wouldn't sound moronic and juvenile, the grandfather clock that stood solemnly behind the sofa began bonging out seven bells and I felt a rush of relief. "I can't because I made plans to meet Shaunee and Erin and the rest of the Prefect Council at seven fifteen so we can practice for the ritual tomorrow night."
Loren smiled. "You are a diligent little Leader of the Dark Daughters, aren't you? Then it will have to be another time." He moved to me, and I thought he'd kiss me again. Instead he touched my face, briefly caressing my tattoos. His touch made me all shivery and breathless. "If you change your mind I'll be in the poet's loft. You know where that is?"
I nodded, still finding it hard to speak. Everyone knew the in-residence Poet Laureate had the whole third floor of the professors' quarters building all to himself. More than once I'd listened to the Twins fantasize about wrapping up like giant presents and having themselves delivered to the lurve loft (as they call it).
"Good. You should know I'll be thinking about you, even if you don't decide to come put me out of my misery."
He had already turned and was walking away when I found my voice. "But I really can't come, so when am I going to see you again?"
He looked over his shoulder at me, smiling his sexy, knowing smile. "Don't worry, my little High Priestess, I will come to you."
When he was gone I sat heavily on the couch. My legs felt like rubber and my heart was beating so hard it hurt. Shakily, I touched one of the diamond earrings. It felt cold, unlike the snowman made of pearls that rested accusatorily around my neck and the silver bracelet that was clasping my wrist. They felt hot. I put my face in my hands and said miserably, "I think I'm turning into a ho."
CHAPTER 8
Everyone was already there when I rushed up. Even Nala was there. I swear she looked at me with eyes that said she knew exactly what I'd been up to in the library. Then she shot a grumpy "mee-uf-ow!" in my general direction, sneezed, and padded away. God, I'm so glad she can't talk.
Suddenly Erik's arms were around me. He kissed me quickly and then hugged me while he whispered in my ear, "I've been looking forward to seeing you all day."
"Well, I was in the library." I realized my tone was way too abrupt and hateful (in other words, guilty) when he pulled away from me and gave me a sweet but confused smile.
"Yeah, that's what the Twins told us."
I looked into his eyes, feeling utterly like poo. How could I even take a chance at losing him? I should never have let Loren kiss me. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong and
"Hey, Z, nice scarf," Damien said, tugging on the end of one of the snowmen and interrupting my guilty mental tirade.
"Thanks, my boyfriend gave it to me," I tried a lame tease, but knew that I sounded all weird and overly perkly.
"By that little comment she means her friend who is a boy," Shaunee said, giving me an eye roll.
"Yeah, don't stress Jack," Erin said. "Damien's not changing teams."
"Shouldn't you be telling me not to stress?" Erik asked playfully.
"No, sweet thang," Erin said.
"If Z dumps you for Queen Damien we'll be here to help you deal with your grief," Shaunee said. Then the Twins did a little impromptu bump and grind for Erik's benefit. Despite the guilt I was feeling, the two of them made me laugh, and I covered Erik's eyes.
Damien pointedly frowned at the Twins and then cleared his throat. "You two are completely incorrigible."
"Twin, I forget, what does incorrigible mean?" Shaunee said.
"I do believe it means that we're hotter and sexier than a whole herd of corriges," Erin said, still bumping and grinding.
"You two are dolts, which means you have very little sense." Damien said, but even he couldn't keep from laughing, especially when a giggling Jack joined in the bump and grind. "Anyway," he continued. "I almost went to the library, but then Jack and I got all involved watching a Will and Grace rerun marathon and I totally lost track of time. Next time you want to do research, just let me know, though, and I'll be happy to help you out."
"He's such a little bookworm," Jack said, pushing his shoulder playfully.
Damien blushed. The Twins made gagging noises. Erik laughed. I wanted to puke my guts up.
"Oh, no problem. I was just looking up some, well, stuff," I said.
"More stuff again?" Erik grinned down at me.
I hated that he looked so understanding and supportive. If he knew the stuff I'd been researching was making out with Loren BlakeOh, God. No. He could never, ever find out.
And, yes, I realize how trifling and ho-ish it was that not long before this I'd been sucking Loren's face and feeling all hot and tingly about him, but now I was practically suffocating in a wave of guilt.
Clearly I need therapy.
"So did you bring the candles?" I asked the Twins, resolving once and for all to think about the Loren mess later.
"Of course," Erin said.
"Please. It was easy-peasy," Shaunee said. "We even have them put in their correct places." She pointed behind us to a nice flat area under the canopy of the huge oak. I could see the four candles representing the elements in their proper places, with the fifth candle, representing spirit, sitting in the middle of the circle.
"I brought the matches," Jack said enthusiastically.
"Okay. Well. Let's do this," I said. The five of us started moving to our candles. Damien surprised me by hanging back a little from the others and whispering, "If you want Jack to leave, just let me know and I'll tell him to go."
"No," I said automatically, and then my mind caught up with my mouth and I added, "No, Damien. It's okay for him to be here. He's part of us. He belongs."
Damien gave me a grateful smile and motioned for Jack to bring me the matches. He scampered to me in the middle of the circle.
"I was going to get a lighter, but then I thought about it and it just didn't feel right." He explained to me very seriously. "I think it's better to use real wood. You know, real matches. A lighter is just too cold and modern for an ancient ritual. So I brought these." He proudly presented a long cylindrical thing. When I just looked at it like a, well, dolt, he pulled off the top and handed the bottom part to me. "See, long and totally chic fireplace matches. I got them from the den in our dorm. You know, by the fireplace."
I took the matches from him. They were long and slender and a pretty violet color with red tips. "They're perfect," I said, glad I could make someone happy. "Be sure you bring them tomorrow to the real ritual. I'll use them instead of the usual lighter."
"Great!" he gushed and then, shooting a pleased grin at Damien, hurried out of the circle to sit comfortably under the tree, leaning back against the oak.
"Okay, are you guys ready?"
My three friends and one boyfriend (thankfully there was only one of my boyfriends present) chorused their yeses.
"Let's just go over the basics and not make this all complicated and involved. You guys will be out in the circle in your appropriate places with the rest of the Dark Daughters and Sons. Then Jack is going to key the music and I'll come in, just like I did last month."
"Is Professor Blake going to recite a poem again?" Damien asked.
"Oh, baby, I do hope so," Shaunee said.
"That vamp is so fiiiine he almost makes poetry interesting," Erin said.
"No!" I snapped. Then when they all gave me weird looks (I assume they were all giving me weird looksthe Twins and Damien did, I avoided looking at Erik.) I continued in a less crazy voice, "I mean, I don't think he's going to recite anything. I haven't talked to him about it, but whatever," I said with utter and complete nonchalance, then I hurried on. "So, I'll come in and move around the circle to the music, with or without poetry, until I get to my place in the center. I'll cast the circle, ask for Nyx's blessing for us specifically at the start of a new year, take the wine around, than close the circle and we'll all go eat." I glanced at Damien, "You took care of the food, right?"
"Yep, the chef is back from her winter vacation, and she and I decided on the menu yesterday. We're having chili about a zillion different ways. And," he added in a voice that said he thought he was being totally naughty, "we're also having imported beer."
"Sounds good," I smiled my appreciation at him. Yes, it sounds weird and vaguely illegal that minors were going to be drinking beer at what is basically a school-sanctioned event. The truth is that due to the physiological Change that was taking place inside all of our bodies, alcohol just didn't affect us anymoreor at least not enough to cause us to act like typical teenagers (in other words we won't get all wasted and use it as an excuse to have sex with each other).
"Hey, Z, weren't you going to announce at the ritual who you're Tapping for the Prefect Council this coming year?" Erik asked.
"You're right. I'd forgotten that I need to do that." I sighed. "So, yeah, before I close the circle I'll announce the two kids I'm Tapping."
"Who are they?" Damien asked.
I, uh, haven't narrowed it down to two yet. I'll make my final decision on that tonight," I lied. Actually, I hadn't come up with any names yet. I hadn't even wanted to think about it since one of those two kids would be taking Stevie Rae's place on the Council. Then I remembered that I was really supposed to let my current Council help me decide which new kids we were choosing. "Uh, guys. I guess tomorrow before the ritual we can meet and go over the names."
"Hey, Z, don't stress," Erik said. "Just choose two kids. We'll be fine with them."
I felt a huge wash of relief. "Are you sure?"
My friends called a chorus of "okay" and "sounds good to me" comments. Each of them clearly having the utmost confidence in me. Ugh.
"Okay, good. So, are we all cool with the order of the ritual?" I asked.
They nodded.
"All right. Let's practice the circle casting." As always, it didn't matter what stress and nonsense was going on in my life. When it came to circle casting and calling forth the five elements with which I have a special bond, or affinity, the sense of excitement and pleasure my gift gives me (thankfully) overshadows everything else. As I approached Damien I felt my stress lift along with my spirit. I took out one long, slender match and struck it against the sandpapery bottom of the cylinder. It lit as I said, "I call air to our circle. We breathe it in with out first breaths, so it is only right that it be the first element called. Come to us, air!" I touched the match to the yellow candle Damien held and it lit, and stayed lit, even in the wildly gusting wind that whirled around Damien and me like we were in the center of a tamed but playful mini-tornado.
Damien and I grinned at each other. "I don't think I'll ever get over how amazing it is," he said softly.
"Me, either," I said, and blew out the wildly flickering match. Then I moved clockwise, or deosil, around the circle to Shaunee and her red candle. I could hear Shaunee humming something under her breath that I recognized, as I pulled out the next match, as the old Jim Morrison song, "Light My Fire." I smiled at her. "Fire warms us with its passionate flame. I call fire to our circle!" As usual, I barely had to touch the lit match to Shaunee's candle. It instantly combusted, licking light and warmth against our skins.
"I couldn't be hotter if I was on fire," Shaunee said.
"Well, Nyx sure gave you the right element," I told her. Then I walked over to Erin, who was practically vibrating with excitement. My match was still flaming, so I simply smiled at Erin and said, "Water is a perfect balance to flame, just as Erin is a perfect Twin for Shaunee. I call water to our circle!" I touched the match to the blue candle and was instantly engulfed in the scents and sounds of the sea. I swear I could feel warm, tropical water washing against my legs, cooling what fire had just overheated.
"I do love me some water," Erin said happily.
Then I drew a deep, fortifying breath, made sure my face was set in a calm smile, and I walked over to where Erik was standing at the head of the circle and holding the green candle that represents the fourth element of the circle, earth.
"Are you ready?" I asked him.
Erik looked a little pale, but he nodded and his voice was strong and sure when he said, "Yes. I'm ready."
I lifted the still burning match and "Ouch! Crap!" Feeling like an utter moron and not High Priestess in training and the only fledgling ever to have been gifted with an affinity for all five elements, I dropped the match that I'd let burn too long and scorch my fingers. I looked sheepishly at Erik and then around the almost completed circle. "Sorry, guys."
They shrugged off my dorkishness good-naturedly. I was just turning back to Erik and digging in the cylinder for the next match when what I had seenor rather, what I hadn't seen registered in my mind.
There was no thread of light binding Damien, Shaunee, and Erin. Their candles were lit. Their elements had manifested. But the connection we'd felt since the five of us had cast our first circle together, which was so powerful it had been visible as a beautiful, binding thread of light, was definitely missing. Not sure what to do, I sent up a silent plea to Nyx, Please, Goddess, show me what I need to do to reform our circle without Stevie Rae! Then I lit the match and smiled encouragement at Erik.
"Earth supports us and nurtures us. As the fourth element I call earth to our circle!"
I took the long match and touched it to the wick of the green candle. Erik's reaction was instant. He cried out in pain as the green candle flew from his hand away from the circle and into the thickening shadows behind the tree. Erik was rubbing his hand and muttering something about it feeling like he'd been stung, at the same time a string of cussing was coming from the darkness as someone who was, apparently, very pissed off, was heading our way.
"Dammit! Ouch! Shit! What the"
Aphrodite emerged from the shadows holding the unlit green candle and rubbing a red mark on her forehead that was already beginning to swell.
"Oh, wonderful. I should have fucking figured. I'm told to come out here in the"she paused, looked around at the tree and the grass, then wrinkled up her perfect nose"wilderness all surrounded by nature, and what do I find besides insects and dirt? The nerd herd throwing shit at me," she said.
"I only wish we'd thought of it," Erin said sweetly.
"Aphrodite, you are a hateful hag from hell," Shaunee said just as sweetly.
"Dorks, don't talk to me."
Ignoring their bickering I said, "Who told you to come out here?"
Aphrodite met my eyes. "Nyx," she said.
"Please!"
"Whatever!"
"Not likely!"
Damien and the Twins all shouted together. I noticed that Erik was keeping suspiciously silent. I held up my hand. "Enough!" I snapped and they shut up.
"Why did Nyx tell you to come out here?" I asked Aphrodite.
Still meeting my gaze squarely, she approached me. Barely giving Erik a glace she said, "Move out of the way, lame ex-boyfriend." Surprising me, Erik actually stepped out of her way so that she took earth's place in front of me. "Call earth and light it, and you'll see," Aphrodite said.
Before anyone could protest I followed my gut, already knowing from the premonition it was giving me what would happen. "Earth supports us and nurtures us. As the fourth element I call earth to our circle!" I repeated and then touched my newly lit match to the green candle. It flamed instantly, surrounding Aphrodite and me in the scents and sounds of a lush meadow at full bloom in the middle of summer.
Aphrodite spoke softly. "Nyx decided I needed more shit in my already crap-filled life. So now I have an affinity for earth. Ironic enough for you?"
CHAPTER 9
"Oh, no damn way!" Shaunee shouted.
"Ditto, Twin! Only no fucking damn way!" Erin said.
"I can't believe this is right," Damien said.
"Believe it," I said, my back still to the rest of the circle as I continued to stare at Aphrodite. Before my friends could freak out any more I added, "Look at the circle." I hadn't needed to look at it. I already knew what I'd see, and their gasps told me I was right. Still, I turned slowly, awed anew by the beauty of the powerful thread of goddess-given light that bound the four of them together. "She's telling the truth. Nyx sent her out here. Aphrodite has an affinity for earth."
Shocked into silence, my friends just stared as I moved to the center of the circle and picked up my purple candle. "Spirit is what makes us unique, what gives us courage and strength, and it is what lives on after our bodies are no more. Come to me, spirit!" I was engulfed in all four elements as spirit rushed into me, filling me with peace and joy. I walked around the circle, meeting my friends' confused, upset gazes, trying to help them understand something I didn't really get myself, but what I could feel was, indeed, Nyx's will.
"I don't pretend to understand Nyx. The Goddess's ways are mysterious and sometimes she asks really hard things of us. This is one of those hard things. Like it or not, Nyx has made it clear that Aphrodite should take Stevie Rae's place in our circle." I looked at Aphrodite. "I don't think she's exactly thrilled about it."
"Understatement," Aphrodite mumbled.
I continued. "But we have a choice. Nyx doesn't force our will. We need to be in agreement about letting Aphrodite in, or" I hesitated, not knowing how to finish. We'd tried to cast the circle with someone else, and Erik hadn't been allowed to represent earth. Maybe it was just Erik the Goddess didn't want standing in the circle, but I found that hard to believe. Not only was Erik a good guy and already a member of our Council, but my gut was telling me that the problem wasn't that Nyx didn't want Erik. The problem was that Nyx specifically wanted Aphrodite. I sighed and blundered on. "Or I guess we can start trying a bunch of different kids and seeing if any of them are allowed to manifest earth." I looked outside the circle and met Erik's shadowed eyes. "But I don't think Erik's the issue." He smiled at me, but it was just a movement his mouth made; the smile didn't reach his eyes or touch his face.
"I think we have to do what Nyx wants us to do. Even if we don't like it," Damien said.
"Shaunee?" I turned to her. "What's your vote?"
Shaunee and Erin shared a look and I swear, weird as it sounds, I could almost see words pass in the air between them.
"We'll let the hag join the circle," Shaunee said.
"But only because Nyx wants it," Erin said.
"Yeah, but we want to go on the record as saying we totally do not understand what Nyx is up to," Shaunee added, while Erin nodded in agreement.
"Do they get to keep calling me a hag?" Aphrodite said.
"Are you breathing?" Shaunee asked.
"Then if you're breathing you're still a hag," Erin said.
"Which is what we call you," Shaunee finished.
"No," I said firmly. The Twins turned their glares on me. "You guys don't have to like her. You don't even have to like that Nyx wants her here. But if we accept Aphrodite, then we accept her. That means the name-calling has to stop." The Twins sucked air, obviously getting ready to argue with me, so I hurriedly added, "Look inside yourselves, especially right now when you have manifested your element. What is your conscience telling you?" Then I held my breath and waited.
The Twins paused.
"Yeah, okay," Erin said unhappily.
"We see your point. We just don't like it," Shaunee said.
"And what about her? So we stop calling her a hag and such, but she still gets to act like one?" Erin said.
"Now Erin has a point," Damien said.
I looked over at Aphrodite. By her expression she was bored, but I could see that she kept taking big gulps of air, like she couldn't get enough of smelling the meadow earth had manifested around her. Every once in a while I noticed that she trailed her fingers down around her as if she was letting them brush through tall, fragrant grasses. Clearly, she wasn't as unmoved by what had just happened as she pretended to be.
"Aphrodite's going to do the same thing the two of you just did. She's going to search her conscience and then do the right thing."
Aphrodite looked mockingly around like she was searching for something that might be hidden in the night. Then she shrugged. "Oops. Seems I don't have a conscience."
"Stop it!" I snapped, and the energy I'd evoked with the circle whipped between Aphrodite and me, snaking dangerously around her body. The power augmented my voice, making Aphrodite's blue eyes widen in surprise and fear. "Not here. Not in this circle. You will not lie and pretend. Decide now. You have a choice, too. I know you've ignored Nyx before. You can choose to ignore her again. But if you choose to stay and do the Goddess's will, you're not going to do it with lies and hate."
I thought she'd break the circle and walk away. I almost wished she would. It'd be easier not to have anyone represent earth. I could just light the green candle myself and put in on the ground. Whatever. But Aphrodite surprised me, and it would only be the first of many surprises Nyx had in store for me.
"Fine. I'll stay."
"Fine," I said. I glanced around at my friends. "Fine?"
"Yeah, fine," they grumbled.
"Good. So we have our circle," I said.
Before anything else bizarre could happen I moved counterclockwise around the circle, bidding each element good-bye. The silver thread of power disappeared, leaving behind the scents of the ocean and wildflowers on a warm breeze. No one said anything, and the awkward silence grew until I was starting to feel sorry for Aphrodite. Of course, she opened her mouth and, as usual, destroyed any pity anyone might feel for her.
"Don't worry. I'm leaving so you can get back to your Dungeons and Dragons meeting or whatever," Aphrodite sneered.
"Hey, we don't play Dungeons and Dragons!" Jack said.
"Come on, we have time to go down to the IHOP for something to eat before the movie starts," Damien said, and the whole group of them completely ignored Aphrodite as they walked away, chattering among themselves about how fine the Spartans are and how this time when they watch 300 they're going to keep track of how many vamp actors are in it.
They were several feet away before Erik noticed I wasn't with them.
"Zoey?" he called. The gang stopped and looked back at me, obviously surprised to see Aphrodite and me still standing in the dissolved circle. "Aren't you coming?" His voice was carefully neutral, but I could see his jaw tightening with a mixture of what might be annoyance or worry.
"You guys go ahead. I'll meet you at the movies. I need to talk to Aphrodite."
I expected Aphrodite to make a smart-ass comment, but she didn't. I snuck a sideways glance at her and saw she was staring off into the darkness and not paying any attention to my friends or me.
"But, Z, you're gonna miss the chocolate-chip pancakes," Jack said.
I smiled at him. "It's okay. I had some last nightit being my birthday and all."
"They need to talk, so let's go," Erik said.
I didn't like how he soundedalmost like he didn't carebut before I could say anything else he was walking away. Crap. I was definitely going to have some making-up to do with him.
"Erik likes things his way. He also likes a girlfriend who puts him first. Guess you're just finding that out," Aphrodite said.
"I'm not going to talk about Erik with you. I just want to hear about what Nyx has shown you of her will."
"Shouldn't you already know about Nyx's will, blah, blah, whatever? Aren't you her chosen one?"
"Aphrodite, I have a really bad headache right now. I'd like to be with my friends eating chocolate chip pancakes. Then I want to go see 300 with my boyfriend. So I'm already tired of the whole I'm-such-a-bitch-all-the-time act you put on. Here's the dealjust answer the question and we can both go do whatever we want to do." I was rubbing my forehead. The last thing I expected was the bomb she suddenly dropped on me.
"You really mean just answer the question so that you can go meet the creature Stevie Rae's turned into, don't you?"
I felt all the color drain from my face. "What in the hell are you talking about Aphrodite?"
"Let's walk," she said and started to walk alongside the huge stone wall that borders the school.
"Aphrodite, no." I grabbed her arm. "Tell me what you know."
"Look, it's hard for me to hold still so soon after I've had a vision, and the one I had that made me come out here was not like my normal visions." Aphrodite pulled free from me and brushed a hand across her brow like she had a headache, too. I noticed for the first time that her hands were shakingactually that her whole body was trembling and she looked abnormally pale.
"All right. We'll walk."
She didn't say anything for a little while, and I had to fight with myself not to grab her and shake her and make her tell me how she knew about Stevie Rae. When she finally started talking, she didn't look at me and seemed to be speaking to the night more than to me.
"My visions have been changing. It started with the one I had when those human kids were being killed. I used to be able to see things like I was just an observer. I watched what was happening but wasn't touched by it. Everything and everyone were clear, easy to understand. With those boys it was different. I wasn't detached anymore. I was one of them. I could feel myself being killed with them." She paused and shuddered. "I also couldn't see things clearly anymore. Stuff becomes a big jumble of fear and panic and crazy emotions. I get some flashes of things I can identify or understand, like when I told you that you had to get Heath out of those tunnels or he'd die. But mostly I'm freaked and confused, and afterward I feel awful." Aphrodite glanced at me as if she was just then remembering I was really there. "Like it was with the vision I saw of your grandma drowning. I actually was your grandma, and it was just lucky that I caught glimpses of the bridge and knew where she'd go into the water."
I nodded, "I remember you couldn't tell me very much. I thought it was more because you didn't want to tell me than that you couldn't tell me."
Her smile was sarcastic. "Yes, I know. Not that I care what you thought."
"Just get on with the Stevie Rae part." God, she was annoying.
"I haven't had a vision for a month. Good thing, too, since my parents insist I visit during winter break. Often."
Her grimace said that visiting her parents wasn't exactly a good thing, which I already knew. At the last parent visitation night I'd sorta accidentally watched a majorly nightmarish scene between Aphrodite and her parents. Her dad's the mayor of Tulsa. Her mom might be Satan. Basically, they made my 'rentals look like the Brady parents (yes, I'm a dork and watch Nickelodeon reruns).