I blinked. Neferet thought I might have an affinity for cats! "No, II don't hear her in my head. But she does complain at me a lot. And I wouldn't know about whether or not I know where she is when she's not with me. She's always with me."
"She is delightful." Neferet crooked a finger at Nala and said, "Come to me, child."
Instantly, Nala padded over and jumped up on Neferet's desk, scattering papers everywhere.
"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, Neferet." I grabbed for Nala, but Neferet waved me away. She scratched Nala's head, and the cat closed her eyes and purred.
"Cats are always welcome, and papers are easily reorganized. Now, what is it you really wanted to speak with me about, Zoeybird?"
Her use of my grandma's nickname for me made my heart hurt, and I suddenly missed her with an intensity that had me blinking tears from my eyes.
"Are you missing your old home?" Neferet asked softly.
"No, not really. Well, except for Grandma, but I've been so busy that I guess I just now realized it," I said guiltily.
"You don't miss your mother and father."
It wasn't like she'd said it as a question, but I felt that I needed to answer her. "No. Well, I don't really have a dad. He left us when I was little. My mom remarried three years ago and, well"
"You can tell me. I give you my word that I will understand," Neferet said.
"I hate him!" I said with more anger than I'd expected to feel. "Since he joined our family"I said the word sarcastically"nothing has been right. My mom totally changed. It's like she can't be his wife and my mother anymore. It hasn't been my home for a long time."
"My mother died when I was ten years old. My father did not remarry. Instead, he began to use me as his wife. From the time I was ten until Nyx saved me by Marking me when I was fifteen, he abused me." Neferet paused and let the shock of what she was saying settle into me before she continued. "So you see, when I say that I understand what it is to have your home become an unbearable place I am not just spouting platitudes."
"That's awful." I didn't know what else to say.
"It was then. Now it is simply another memory. Zoey, humans in your past, and even in your present and future, will become less and less important to you until, eventually, you will feel very little for them. You'll understand this more as you continue to Change."
There was a cold flatness to her voice that made me feel odd, and I heard myself saying, "I don't want to stop caring about my grandma."
"Of course you don't." She was back to being warm and caring again. "It's only nine P.M., why don't you call her? You can be late to Drama class; I'll let Professor Nolan know that you are excused."
"Thank you, I'd like that. But it's not what I wanted to talk to you about." I took a deep breath. "I drank blood last night."
Neferet nodded. "Yes, the Dark Daughters often mix fledgling blood with their ritual wine. It's something the young like to do. Did it upset you greatly, Zoey?"
"Well, I didn't know about it until afterward. Then, yes, it did upset me."
Neferet frowned. "It wasn't ethical of Aphrodite not to tell you before. You should have had a choice about partaking. I'll speak with her."
"No!" I said a little too quickly, and then I forced myself to sound calmer. "No, there's really no need. I'll take care of it. I've decided to join the Dark Daughters, so I don't want to start off by looking like I set out to get Aphrodite in trouble."
"You're probably right. Aphrodite can be rather temperamental, and I trust that you can take care of it yourself, Zoey. We do like to encourage fledglings to solve the problems they have with each other among themselves whenever possible." She studied me, concern obvious in her face. "It's normal for the first few tastes of blood to be less than appetizing. You'd know that if you had been with us longer."
"It's not that. Itit tasted really good. Erik told me that mine was an unusual reaction."
Neferet's perfect brows shot up. "It is, indeed. Did you also feel dizzy or exhilarated?"
"Both," I said softly.
Neferet glanced at my Mark. "You are unique, Zoey Redbird. Well, I think it would be best to pull you out of this section of Sociology, and move you into a Sociology 415.
"I'd really rather you didn't do that," I said quickly. "I already feel like enough of a freak with everyone staring at my Mark and watching to see if I'll do something weird. If you move me into a class with kids who have been here for three years, they'll really think I'm bizarre."
Neferet hesitated, scratching Nala's head while she considered.
"I understand what you mean, Zoey. I haven't been a teenager for over one hundred years, but vampyres have long, accurate memories, and I do recall what it was like to go through the Change." She sighed. "Okay, how about a compromise? I'll allow you to stay in the third former Soc class, but I want to give you the text we use in the upper-level class, and have you agree to read a chapter a week, and promise that you'll discuss any questions you have with me."
"Deal," I said.
"You know, Zoey, as you Change, you literally are becoming an entirely new being. A vampyre is not a human, although we are humane. It may sound reprehensible to you now, but your desire for blood is as normal for your new life as your desire for"she paused and smiled"brown pop has been in your old life."
"Jeesh! Do you know everything?"
"Nyx has gifted me generously. Besides my affinity for our lovely felines and my abilities as a healer, I am also an intuitive."
"You can read my mind?" I asked nervously.
"Not exactly. But I can pick up bits and pieces of things. For instance, I know that there's something else you need to tell me about last night."
I drew a deep breath. "I was upset after I found out about the blood, so I ran out of the rec hall. That's how I found Nala. She was in a tree that was real close to the school's wall. I thought she was stuck up there, so I climbed up on the wall to get her and, well, while I was talking to her two kids from my old school found me."
"What happened?" Neferet's hand had stilled; she was no longer petting Nala, and I had all of her attention.
"It wasn't good. Theythey were wasted, high and drunk." Okay, I hadn't meant to blurt that!
"Did they try to hurt you?"
"No, nothing like that. It was my exbest friend and my almost-ex-boyfriend."
Neferet raised her brow at me again.
"Well, I'd quit going out with him, but he and I still had a thing for each other."
She nodded as though she understood. "Go on."
"Kayla and I kinda fought. She sees me differently now and I guess I see her differently, too. Neither one of us likes the new view." As I said it I realized it was true. It wasn't that K had changedactually, she'd been exactly the same. It was just that the little things I used to ignore, like her nonsensical babble and her mean side, were now suddenly too irritating to deal with. "Anyway, she left and I was alone with Heath." I stopped there, not sure how to say the rest of it.
Neferet's eyes narrowed. "You experienced bloodlust for him."
"Yes," I whispered.
"Did you drink his blood, Zoey?" Her voice was sharp.
"I just tasted a drop of it. I'd scratched him. I hadn't meant to, but when I heard his pulse pounding itit made me scratch him."
"So you didn't actually drink from the wound?"
"I started to, but Kayla came back and interrupted us. She totally freaked, and that's how I finally got Heath to leave."
"He didn't want to?"
I shook my head. "No. He didn't want to." I felt like I was going to cry again. "Neferet, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I didn't even know what I was doing until Kayla screamed."
"Of course you didn't realize what was happening. How could a newly Marked fledgling be expected to know about bloodlust?" She touched my arm in a reassuring, mom-like gesture. "You probably didn't Imprint with him."
"Imprint?"
"It's what often happens when vampyres drink directly from humans, especially if there is a bond that has been established between them prior to the blood-letting. This is why it is forbidden for fledglings to drink the blood of humans. Actually, it's strongly discouraged for adult vampyres to feed from humans, too. There's an entire sect of vampyres who consider it morally wrong and would like to make it illegal," she said.
I watched her eyes darken as she talked. The expression in them suddenly made me very nervous and I shivered. Then Neferet blinked and her eyes changed back to normal. Or had I just imagined their weird darkness?
"But that's a discussion best left for my sixth form sociology class."
"What do I do about Heath?"
"Nothing. Let me know if he tries to see you again. If he calls you, don't answer. If he began Imprinting even the sound of your voice will effect him and work as a lure to draw him to you."
"It sounds like something out of Dracula," I muttered.
"It's nothing like that wretched book!" she snapped. "Stoker vilified vampyres, which has caused our kind endless petty troubles with humans."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean"
She waved her hand dismissively. "No, I shouldn't have taken out my frustration about that old fool's book on you. And don't worry about your friend Heath. I'm sure he'll be fine. You said that he was smoking and drinking? I assume you mean marijuana?"
I nodded. "But I don't smoke," I added. "Actually, he didn't used to and neither did Kayla. I don't get what's happening to them. I think they're hanging with some of those druggie football players from Union, and none of them have enough sense to just say no."
"Well, his reaction to you might have had more to do with his level of intoxication than a possible Imprint." She paused, pulling a scratch pad out of her desk drawer, and handing me a pencil. "But just in case, why don't you write down your friends' full names and where they live. Oh, and add the names of the Union football players, too, if you know them."
"Why would you need all of their names?" I felt my heart fall into my shoes. "You're not going to call their parents, are you?"
Neferet laughed. "Of course not. The misbehavior of human teenagers is no concern of mine. I only ask so that I can focus my thoughts on the group and perhaps pick up any vestiges of a possible Imprint among them."
"What happens if you do? What happens to Heath?"
"He's young and the Imprint will be weak, so time and distance should make it fade eventually. If he actually Imprinted in full, there are ways to break it." I was about to say that maybe she should just go ahead and do whatever she did to break an Imprinting when she continued. "None of the ways are pleasant."
"Oh, okay."
I wrote the names and addresses for Kayla and Heath. I didn't have a clue where the Union guys lived, but I did remember their names. Neferet got up and went to the back of the classroom to retrieve a thick textbook whose title in silver letters read Sociology 415.
"Begin with Chapter One and work your way through this entire book. Until you've finished it, let's consider it your homework instead of the work I assign to the rest of the Socioi class."
I took the book. It was heavy and the cover felt cool in my hot, nervous grip.
"If you have any questions, any at all, come see me right away. If I'm not here you can come to my apartment in Nyx's Temple. Go in the front door and follow the stairs on your right. I am the only priestess at the school right now, so the entire second floor belongs to me. And don't worry about disturbing me. You're my fledglingit's your job to disturb me," she said with a warm smile.
"Thank you, Neferet."
"Try not to worry. Nyx has touched you and the goddess cares for her own." She hugged me. "Now, I'm going to go tell Professor Nolan what's been keeping you. Go ahead and use the phone at my desk to call your grandma." She hugged me again and then closed the classroom door gently behind her as she left.
I sat down at her desk and thought about how great she was, and how long it'd been since my mom had hugged me like that. And for some reason, I started to cry.
CHAPTER 21
"Hi Grandma, it's me."
"Oh! My Zoeybird! Are you okay, honey?"
I smiled into the phone and wiped my eyes. "I'm good, Grandma. I just miss you."
"Little bird, I miss you, too." She paused and then said, "Has your mom called you?"
"No."
Grandma sighed. "Well, honey, maybe she doesn't want to bother you while you're settling into your new life. I did tell her that Neferet had explained to me that your days and nights will be flip-flopped."
"Thanks, Grandma, but I don't think that's why she hasn't called me."
"Maybe she has tried and you just missed her call. I called your cell yesterday, but I only got your voicemail."
I felt a twinge of guilt. I hadn't even checked my phone for messages. "I forgot to plug my cell phone in. It's back in the room. Sorry I missed your call, Grandma." Then, to make her feel better (and to get her to quit talking about it), I said, "I'll check my phone when I get back to my room. Maybe Mom did call."
"Maybe she did, honey. So, tell me, how is it there?"
"It's good. I mean, there are a lot of things I like about it. My classes are cool. Hey, Grandma, I'm even taking fencing and an equestrian class."
"That's wonderful! I remember how much you liked to ride Bunny."
"And I got a cat!"
"Oh, Zoeybird, I'm so glad. You've always loved cats. Are you making friends with the other kids?"
"Yeah, my roommate, Stevie Rae, is great. And I already like her friends, too."
"So, if everything is going so well, why the tears?"
I should have known I couldn't hide anything from my grandma. "It's justjust that some of the things about the Change are really hard to deal with."
"You're well, aren't you?" Worry was thick in her voice. "Is your head okay?"
"Yeah, it's nothing like that. It's" I stopped. I wanted to tell her; I wanted to tell her so bad I could explode, but I didn't know how. And I was afraidafraid she wouldn't love me anymore. I mean, Mom had quit loving me, hadn't she? Or, at the very least, Mom had traded me in for a new husband, which in some ways was worse than quitting loving me. What would I do if Grandma walked away from me, too?
"Zoeybird, you know you can tell me anything," she said gently.
"It's hard, Grandma." I bit my lip to keep from crying.
"Then let me make it easier. There is nothing you could say that would make me stop loving you. I'm your Grandma today, tomorrow, and next year. I'll be your Grandma even after I join our ancestors in the spirit world, and from there I'll still love you, Little Bird."
"I drank blood and I liked it!" I blurted.
Without any hesitation, Grandma said, "Well, honey, isn't that what vampyres do?"
"Yeah, but I'm not a vampyre. I'm just a few-days-old fledgling."
"You're special, Zoey. You always have been. Why should that change now?"
"I don't feel special. I feel like a freak."
"Then remember something. You're still you. Doesn't matter that you've been Marked. Doesn't matter that you're going through the Change. Inside, your spirit is still your spirit. On the outside you might look like a familiar stranger, but you need only look inside to find the you you've known for sixteen years."
"The familiar stranger," I whispered. "How did you know?"
"You're my girl, Honey. You're daughter of my spirit. It's not hard to understand what you must be feelingit's very much like what I imagine I'd be feeling."
"Thank you, Grandma."
"You are welcome, U-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa."
I smiled, loving how the Cherokee word for daughter soundedso magical and special, like it was a Goddess-given title. Goddess-given
"Grandma, there's something else."
"Tell me, Little Bird."
"I think I feel the five elements when a circle is cast."
"If that is the truth, you have been given great power, Zoey. And you know that with great power comes great responsibility. Our family has a rich history of Tribal Elders, Medicine Men, and Wise Women. Have a care, Little Bird, to think before you act. The Goddess would not have granted you special powers on a whim. Use them carefully, and make Nyx, as well as your ancestors, look down and smile on you."
"I'll try my best, Grandma."
"That's all I would ever ask of you, Zoeybird."
"There's a girl here who also has special powers, too, but she's awful. She's a bully and she lies. Grandma, I thinkI think" I took a deep breath and said what had been brewing in my mind all morning. "I think I'm stronger than she is and I think that maybe Nyx Marked me so that I can get her out of the position she's in. Butbut that would mean that I have to take her place, and I don't know if I'm ready for that, not now. Maybe not ever."
"Follow what your spirit tells you, Zoeybird." She hesitated, then said, "Honey, do you remember the purification prayer of our people?"
I thought about it. I couldn't count the times I'd gone with her to the little stream behind Grandma's house and watched her bathe ritualistically in the running water and speak the purification prayer. Sometimes I stepped into the stream with her and said the prayer, too. The prayer had been entwined throughout my childhood, spoken at the change of seasons, in thanks for the lavender harvest, or in preparation for the coming winter, as well as whenever Grandma was faced with hard decisions. Sometimes I didn't know why she purified herself and spoke the prayer. It simply had always been.
"Yes," I said. "I remember it."
"Is there running water inside the school grounds?"
"I don't know, Grandma."
"Well, if there isn't then get something to use as a smudge stick. Sage and lavender mixed together are best, but you can even use fresh pine if you have no other choice. Do you know what to do, Zoeybird?"
"Smudge myself, starting at my feet and working my way up my body, front and back," I recited, as if I was a small child again and Grandma was drilling me in the ways of our people. "And then face the east and speak the purification prayer."
"Good, you do remember. Ask for the Goddess's help, Zoey. I believe that she will hear you. Can you do this before sunrise tomorrow?"
"I think so."
"I will perform the prayer, too, and add a grandmother's voice to ask the Goddess to guide you."
And suddenly I felt better. Grandma was never wrong about these sorts of things. If she believed it would be okay, then it really would be okay.
"I'll speak the purification prayer before dawn. I promise."
"Good, Little Bird. Now this old woman had better let you go. You are in the middle of a school day right now, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I'm on my way to Drama class. And, Grandma, you'll never be old."
"Not as long as I can hear your young voice, Little Bird. I love you, U-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa."
"I love you, too, Grandma."
Talking to Grandma had lifted a terrible weight from my heart. I was still scared and freaked out about the future, and I wasn't wild about the thought of bringing down Aphrodite. Not to mention that I really didn't have a clue how to go about it. But I did have a plan. Okay, maybe it wasn't a "plan," but at least it was something to do. I'd complete the purification prayer, and thenwellthen I'd figure out what to do after that.
Yeah, that would work. Or at least that's what I kept telling myself through my morning classes. By lunch I'd decided on the place for my ritualunder the tree by the wall where I'd found Nala. I thought about it while I made my way through the salad bar behind the Twins. Trees, especially oaks, were sacred to the Cherokee people, so that seemed to be a good choice. Plus, it was secluded and easy to get to. Sure, Heath and Kayla had found me over there, but I wasn't planning on sitting on top of the wall again, and I couldn't imagine Heath showing up at dawn two days in a row, whether he had been Imprinted or not. I mean, this was the guy who slept till two in the afternoon in the summer, every day. It took two alarm clocks and his mother shrieking at him to get him up for school. The kid was not going to be up at pre-dawn again. It would probably take him months to recover from yesterday. No, actually, he'd probably snuck out of the house and met K (sneaking out had always been easy for her, her parents were totally clueless), and they'd been up all night. Which meant that he'd missed school and would be playing sick and sleeping in for the next two days. Anyway, I wasn't worried about him showing up.
"Don't you think baby corns are scary? There's just something wrong about their midget bodies."
I jumped and almost dropped the ladle of ranch dressing into the vat of white liquid, and looked up into Erik's laughing blue eyes.
"Oh, hi," I said. "You scared me."
"Z, I think I'm making a habit of sneaking up on you."
I giggled nervously, very aware that the Twins were watching every move we made.
"You look like you've recovered from yesterday."
"Yeah, no problem. I'm fine. And this time I'm not lying."
"And I heard you joined the Dark Daughters."
Shaunee and Erin sucked air together. I was careful not to look at them.
"Yep."
"That's cool. That group needs some new blood."
"You say 'that group' like you don't belong to it. Aren't you a Dark Son?"
"Yeah, but it's not the same as being a Dark Daughter. We're just ornamental. Kinda the opposite of how it is in the human world. All the guys know that we're just there to look good and keep Aphrodite amused."
I looked up at him, reading something else in his eyes. "And is that what you're still doing, amusing Aphrodite?"
"As I said last night, not anymore, which is one reason I don't really consider myself a member of the group. I'm sure they'd officially kick me out if it wasn't for that little acting thing I do."
"You mean 'little' as in Broadway and LA already being interested in you."
"That's what I mean." He grinned at me. "It's not real, you know. Acting is all pretend. It's not what I really am." He bent down to whisper in my ear. "Really, I'm a dork."
"Oh, please. Does that line work for you?"
He exaggerated a look of being offended. "Line? No, Z. That's no line, and I can prove it."
"Sure you can."
"I can. Come to the movies with me tonight. We'll watch my favorite DVDs of all time."
"How does that prove anything?"
"It's Star Wars, the original ones. I know all the lines for all the parts." He leaned closer and whispered again. "I can even do Chewbacca's parts."
I laughed. "You're right. You are a dork."
"Told you."
We'd come to the end of the salad bar and he walked with me over to the table where Damien, Stevie Rae, and the Twins were already seated. And, no, they weren't making any attempt to hide the fact that they were all totally gawking at the two of us.
"So, will you gowith metonight?"
I could hear the four of them holding their breaths. Literally.
"I'd like to, but I can't tonight. IuhI already have plans."
"Oh. Okay. Wellnext time. See ya." He nodded at the table and walked away.
I sat down. They were all staring at me. "What?" I said.
"You have lost every last bit of your mind," Shaunee said. "My exact thoughts, Twin," Erin said.
"I hope you have a really good reason for blowing him off," Stevie Rae said. "It was obvious you hurt his feelings."
"Think he'd let me comfort him?" Damien asked, still gazing dreamily after Erik.
"Give it up," Erin said.
"He doesn't play for your team," Shaunee said.
"Shush!" Stevie Rae said. She turned to look me straight in the eyes. "Why did you tell him no? What could be more important than a date with him?"
"Getting rid of Aphrodite," I said simply.
CHAPTER 22
"She has a point," Damien said.
"She joined the Dark Daughters," Shaunee said.
"What!" Damien squeaked, his voice going up about twenty octaves.
"Leave her alone," Stevie Rae said, instantly coming to my defense. "She's reconnoitering."
"Reconnoitering, hell! If she joined the Dark Daughters she's engaging the enemy full on," Damien said.
"Well, she joined," Shaunee said.
"We heard her," Erin said.
"Hello! I'm still right here," I said.
"So what are you going to do?" Damien asked me.
"I don't really know," I said.
"You better get a plan and get one quick or those hags are gonna have you for lunch," Erin said.
"Yep," Shaunee said, biting viciously into her salad for effect.
"Hey! She doesn't have to figure this out on her own. She has us." Stevie Rae crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the Twins.
I smiled my thanks to Stevie Rae. "Well, I kinda have an idea."
"Good. Tell us and we'll brainstorm," said Stevie Rae. Everyone looked expectantly at me. I sighed. "Well. Um,"
I started hesitantly, afraid I was sounding like a moron, and then I decided I might as well tell them what had been on my mind since I talked to Grandma, so I finished in a rush. "I thought I'd perform an ancient purification prayer based on Cherokee ritual and ask Nyx to help me come up with a plan."
The silence at the table seemed to last forever. Then Damien finally said, "Asking for Nyx's help isn't a bad idea."
"Are you Cherokee?" Shaunee asked.
"You look Cherokee," Erin said.
"Hello! Her last name is Redbird. She's Cherokee," Stevie Rae said with finality.
"Well, that's good," Shaunee said, but she looked doubtful.
"I just think that Nyx might actually hear me andmaybegive me some kind of clue as to what I should do about horrid Aphrodite." I looked at each of my friends. "Something inside me says it's just wrong to let her get away with all the crap she's getting away with."
"Let me tell them!" Stevie Rae suddenly said. "They won't tell anyone. Really. And it'd help if they knew."
"What the F?" Erin said.
"Okay, now you have no choice," Shaunee said, pointing at Stevie Rae with her fork. "She knew if she said that we would pester the crap outta you till you told us whatever it is she's talking about."
I frowned at Stevie Rae, who shrugged her shoulders sheepishly and said, "Sorry."
Reluctantly, I lowered my voice and leaned forward. "Promise you won't tell anyone."
"Promise," they said.
"I think I can feel the five elements when a circle is cast." Silence. They just stared. Three of them shocked, Stevie Rae smug.
"So, you still think she can't take down Aphrodite?" Stevie Rae said.
"I knew there was more to your Mark than falling down and hitting your head!" Shaunee said.
"Wow," Erin said. "Talk about good gossip."
"No one can know!" I said quickly.
"Please," Shaunee said. "We're just sayin' that someday this is gonna be great gossip."
"We know how to wait for great gossip," Erin said.
Damien ignored both of them. "I don't think there's a record of any High Priestess who has had an affinity with all five elements." Damien's voice got more excited as he spoke. "Do you know what that means?" He didn't give me a chance to respond. "It means you could potentially be the most puissant High Priestess the vampyres have ever known."
"Huh?" I said. Puissant?
"Strongpowerful," he said impatiently. "You might actually be able to take out Aphrodite!"
"Now, that's some seriously good news," Erin said, as Shaunee nodded in enthusiastic agreement.
"So when and where are we doing the purification thingy?" Stevie Rae said.
"We?" I said.
"You're not in this alone, Zoey," she said.
I opened my mouth to protestI mean, I wasn't even sure what I was going to do. I didn't want to get my friends mixed up in something that might beactually, would probably bea total mess. But Damien didn't give me time to tell them no.
"You need us," he said simply. "Even the most puissant High Priestess needs her circle."
"Well, I hadn't really thought about casting a circle. I was just gonna do a kind of purification prayer thing."
"Can't you cast a circle and then pray the prayer and ask for Nyx's help?" Stevie Rae asked.
"Seems logical," Shaunee said.
"Plus, if you really do have an affinity for the five elements, I'll bet we'll be able to sense it when you cast your own circle. Right, Damien?" Stevie Rae said. Everyone looked at the gay scholar of our group.
"Sounds like good logic to me," he said.
I was still going to argue, even though everything inside of me felt relieved and happy and grateful that my friends would be there with me, that they wouldn't let me face all of this uncertainty alone.