"Are you done?" Stevie Rae asked her.
"Probably not, but you may proceed," Aphrodite said.
Stevie Rae frowned at her, then continued to explain to me. "Aphrodite's right. It's like I can reach into a human's mind and do things."
"Things?" I asked.
Stevie Rae shrugged. "Things like make them come to me, or forget they saw me. I'm not sure what else. I could sorta do it before I'd Changed, but nothing like what I can do now, and I'm really not comfortable with mind control. It just seems so, I dunno, mean."
Aphrodite snorted.
"Okay, what else? Do you still have to be invited into someone's house to enter?" And then I answered my own question. "Wait, that must have changed, because I didn't actually invite you in here, and here you are. Not that I wouldn't have invited you in. I definitely would have," I added quickly.
"I dunno about that one. I walked right into the Red Cross place."
"You mean you walked right in after you mind-controlled that little lab tech to unlock the door for you," Aphrodite said.
Stevie Rae blushed. "I didn't hurt her or anything, and she won't remember any of it."
"But she didn't invite you in?" I asked.
"No, but the Red Cross building is a public place, and it feels different to me. Oh, and I don't think you'd have to invite me in here, Z. I used to live here, remember?"
I smiled at her. "I remember."
"If you two start holding hands and singing 'Lean on Me,' I'm going to have to excuse myself so I don't start retching," Aphrodite said.
"Can you not use some of your mind control on her and get her to stop once and for all?" I asked.
"Nope. I've already tried it. There's something about her brain that I can't get into."
"It's my superior intelligence," Aphrodite said.
"It's more like your superior annoyance," I said. "Go on, Stevie Rae."
"Let's see, what else . . ." She thought for a couple of seconds, then said, "I'm a lot stronger than I used to be."
"Regular adult vamps are strong," I said. Then I remembered she'd had to stop for blood. "So, you still have to have blood?"
"Yep, but if I don't get it, I don't think I'd go all crazy like I did before. I wouldn't like doing without it, but I don't think I'd turn into a bloodsucking monster."
"But she doesn't know for sure," Aphrodite said.
"I hate it when she's right, but she's right," Stevie Rae said. "There's just so much I don't know about what kind of vampyre I've Changed into that it's more than a little scary."
"Don't worry. We have plenty of time to figure all of this out."
Stevie Rae smiled and shrugged. "Well, y'all are gonna have to figure this out on your own 'cause I really do gotta go." Surprising the crap out of me, she started toward the window.
"Hang on. We have lots more talking to do. And what with the big announcement that winter break is over, there are going to be fledglings and vamps everywhere again, not to mention there're the Sons of Erebus and the whole war-against-the-humans thing to deal with if I try to leave campus to see you, so I don't know when I'll be able to see you." I was beginning to feel a little short of breath about the multiple issues we had going on.
"Don't worry, Z. I still got that phone you gave me. Just call, and I can sneak back in here anytime."
"You mean anytime there's no sunlight," Aphrodite said, helping me open the window for Stevie Rae.
"Yeah, that's what I mean." Stevie Rae looked at Aphrodite. "You know you can come with me if you don't want to stay here and pretend."
I blinked at my BFF in surprise. It wasn't like she could stand Aphrodite, but here she was, offering her a place to stay, and using a nice tone of voice about it, too, which was exactly like the Stevie Rae I knew and lovedand I felt like crap that somewhere in the back of my mind I'd imagined her acting undead and inhuman again.
"Really, you can come with me," Stevie Rae repeated, and when Aphrodite didn't say anything, she added something that seemed really odd to me. "I know what it's like to pretend. You wouldn't have to do that in the tunnels."
I expected Aphrodite to sneer at her and make a crack about the red fledglings and bad hygiene, but what she actually said surprised me even more than Stevie Rae's offer.
"I have to stay here and pretend I'm still a fledgling. I'm not going to leave Zoey alone, and I don't trust the gay boy and the Dorkamese Twins to do the buddy thing right now. But thanks, Stevie Rae."
I smiled at Aphrodite. "See, you can be nice when you try."
"I'm not being nice. I'm being practical. A world filled with war isn't attractive. You know, what with all that sweaty running and fighting and killing each other. It's just not conducive to good hair or well-maintained nails."
"Aphrodite," I said wearily, "being nice is not a bad thing."
"So says the Queen of Notnormal Land," Aphrodite quipped.
"Which means she's queen of you, Vision Girl," Stevie Rae said. Then she gave me a quick hug. "Bye, Z. I'll see you soon. Promise."
I hugged her back, loving that she felt and smelled and sounded like her old self again. "Okay, but I wish you didn't have to go."
"It'll be fine. You'll see. This'll all work out." Then she crawled out the window. I watched her start to climb down the sheer side of the dorm. She looked creepily buglike until her body rippled and practically disappeared. Actually, had I not known she was there, I would never have seen her at all.
"It's like she's one of those lizards that can change the color of their bodies to match their surroundings," Aphrodite said.
"Chameleons," I said. "That's what they're called."
"Are you sure? Gecko sounds more Stevie Raeish to me."
I frowned at her. "I'm sure. Stop being such a smart aleck and help me close the window."
With the window closed and the drapes drawn again, I sighed and shook my head. More to myself than to her, I said, "So what are we going to do?"
Aphrodite started to paw through the chic little Coach purse she wore like decoration over her shoulder. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to use this ridiculous eyeliner pencil to draw my Mark back. Can you believe I found this shade at Target?" She shuddered. "Like, which of the fashion-challenged would even wear it? Anyway, I'm going to fix this thing, then I'm going to go to the stupid meeting Neferet called."
"I meant, What are we going to do about all this life-and-death stuff that's going on?"
"I don't fucking know! I don't want this." She pointed at her fake Mark. "I don't want any of this. I just want to be what I was before you showed up here and all hell broke loose. I want to be popular and powerful and dating the hottest guy in school. Now I'm none of those things, and I'm a human who has scary visions and I don't know what to do about any of it."
I didn't say anything for a second, thinking about the fact that I had been the cause of Aphrodite's losing her popularity, her power, and her boyfriend. When I did finally speak, I surprised myself by saying exactly what was on my mind.
"You must hate me."
She stared a long time at me. "I did," she said slowly. "But now it's mostly myself I hate."
"Don't," I said.
"And why the hell shouldn't I hate myself? Everyone else hates me." Her words sounded sharp and mean, but her eyes were filled with tears.
"Remember the hateful thing you said to me not too long ago when you thought I was perfect?"
A small smile tilted up her lips. "You'll have to remind me. I've said lots of hateful things to you."
"Well, this particular time you said something about the fact that power changes people and that it makes them mess up."
"Oh, yeah. It's coming back to me now. I said power changes people, but I was talking about the people around you."
"Well, you were right about them and me, and I understand that now. I also understand a lot of the stupid things you've done." I smiled and added, "Not all of the stupid things you've done, but a lot of them. Because now I've done my share of stupid things, and I kinda think I'm not done doing stupid thingsas depressing as that is."
"Depressing, but true," she said. "Oh, and by the way, while we're talking about power changing people, you need to remember that when you're dealing with Stevie Rae."
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. She's changed."
"You're gonna have to do better than that," I said, getting a sick feeling in my stomach.
"Don't pretend like you didn't notice anything weird about her," Aphrodite said.
"She's been through a lot," I justified.
"My point exactly. She's been through a lot, and it's changed her."
"You've never liked Stevie Rae, so I don't expect you to suddenly start getting along with her, but I'm not going to listen to you talk crap about herespecially after she just offered to let you come with her so that you don't have to stay here and pretend to be something you're not." I was working myself up into getting really pissed, and I couldn't tell if that was because what Aphrodite was saying was hateful and wrong, or because what she was saying was a scary truth I didn't want to face.
"Did you ever think that maybe she wanted me to go with her because Stevie Rae doesn't want me to spend any time with you?"
"That's stupid. Why would she care? She's my best friend, not my boyfriend."
"Because she knows I've seen through her little act and that I'll tell you the real deal about her. The truth is that she's not what she used to be. I don't know exactly what she is now, and I don't think she knows either, but she's definitely not good ol' white-bread Stevie Rae anymore."
"I know she's not exactly like she used to be!" I snapped. "How could she be? She died, Aphrodite! In my arms. Remember? And I'm a good enough friend that I'm not going to turn my back on her just because going through something life-changing actually changed her."
Aphrodite stood there and stared at me a long time without saying anythingso long that my stomach started to hurt again. Finally she lifted one shoulder. "Fine. Believe what you want to believe. I hope you're right."
"I'm right, and I don't want to talk about it again," I said, feeling weirdly shaky.
"Fine," she repeated. "I'm done talking about it."
"Good. So finish drawing in your Mark and let's go to the meeting."
"Together?"
"Yep."
"You're not caring that people know we don't hate each other?" she said.
"Well, I look at it like this: People, especially my friends, will be thinking a whole lot of not-so-nice stuff about the possibility that you and I have suddenly become friends."
Aphrodite's eyes widened. "Which will keep their wee little brains from thinking about Stevie Rae."
"My friends do not have wee brains."
"Whatever."
"But, yes, Damien and the Twins will be busy thinking pissed-off thoughts about you, which will definitely keep their minds busy if Neferet happens to be listening in," I said.
"Sounds like the beginnings of a plan," she said.
"Sadly, it's all I have of a plan."
"Well, at least you're consistent about not knowing what the hell you're doing."
"So good of you to look on the bright side of things."
"Anything I can do to help," Aphrodite said.
When she'd put the finishing touches on her fake Mark, we headed toward the door. Just before I opened it, I glanced sideways at her. "Oh, and I don't hate you, either," I said. "Actually, you're kinda growing on me."
Aphrodite gave me one of her best sneers and said, "See, that's what I mean about you being consistent about not knowing what the hell you're doing."
I was laughing when I pulled open the door and ran smack into Damien, Jack, and the Twins.
CHAPTER 7
"We want to talk to you, Z," Damien said.
"And we're glad to see she's leaving," Shaunee said, glaring at Aphrodite.
"Yeah, don't let the door hit your skinny ass on the way out," Erin said.
I saw the hurt that flashed across Aphrodite's face. "Fine. I'm out of here," she said.
"Aphrodite, you're not going anywhere." I had to wait till the Twins got over making sputtering sounds of disbelief before I could go on. "Nyx is working strongly in Aphrodite's life. Do you trust Nyx's judgment?" I asked, looking at each of my friends.
"Yes, of course we do," Damien spoke for all of them.
"Then you're gonna have to accept Aphrodite as one of us," I said.
There was a long pause during which the Twins, Jack, and Damien all shared looks, and then Damien finally said, "I suppose we do have to admit that Aphrodite is special to Nyx, but the honest truth is none of us trust her."
"I trust her," I said. Okay, maybe I didn't trust her one hundred percent, but Nyx was working through her.
"Which is ironic, because we're having trust issues with you," Shaunee said.
"Nerd herd, you make no damn sense," Aphrodite said. "In one breath, you're all 'Oh, yes! We trust Nyx!' and in the next you're saying you have trust issues with Zoey. Zoey is the fledgling. No onevamp or fledglinghas ever been so gifted by Nyx. Get a clue, would ya?" Aphrodite rolled her eyes.
"Aphrodite may have a point," Damien said into the stunned silence.
"No shit?" Aphrodite said sarcastically. "Here's another newsflash for the herd of nerdmy latest vision is of Zoey being killed and the world being thrown into total chaos because of it. And guess who was responsible for your supposed friend's murder?" She paused, raising her brows at Damien and the Twins before answering her own question. "You all are. Zoey's killed because you guys turn your backs on her."
"She had a vision of your death?" Damien asked me. His face had suddenly gone very white.
"Yeah, two actually. But the visions were pretty messed up. She saw them from my point of view, which was kinda nasty. Anyway, I just have to stay away from water and" My words broke off as I almost said and Neferet. Thankfully, Aphrodite chimed in.
"She has to stay away from water, and she can't be isolated," she said. "Which means you guys need to kiss and make up. But wait till I'm not watching, 'cause it's definitely going to make me sick."
"You pissed us off, Z," Shaunee said, looking almost as pale as Damien.
"But we don't want you to die," Erin finished, looking equally upset.
"I'd just die if you died," Jack said, sniffling. Then he reached for Damien's hand.
"Well, then, you're gonna have to get over yourselves and be the buddy-buddy dork pack again," Aphrodite said.
"Since when have you cared whether Zoey lives or dies?" Damien said.
"Since I'm working for Nyx, and not myself. And Nyx gives a shit about Zoey; therefore, I give a shit about Zoey. And it's a good thing I do. You're supposed to be her best friends, and a secret or two and some stupid misunderstandings have made you freeze her out." Aphrodite looked and me and snorted, "Hell, Zoey, with friends like them, it's a good thing we're not enemies."
Damien turned from Aphrodite, shaking his head and looking more hurt than angry. "What really confuses me about all of this is that it's perfectly clear you're telling her the things you won't tell us."
"Oh, please, gay boy. Don't get your panties all in a big bunch over me taking your dorkish place beside Zoey. It's simple why she tells me stuff. Vamps can't read my mind."
Damien blinked in surprise. Then, eyes widening in understanding, he looked at me. "They can't read your mind either, can they?"
"No, they can't," I said.
"Oh, shit!" Shaunee said. "You mean you think telling us things is like telling everyone?"
"It can't be that easy for the vamps to read fledglings, Z," Erin said. "If it was, then a bunch of kids would be in trouble all the time."
"Wait, they overlook things like fledglings sneaking off campus or PDA," Damien said slowly, as if he were putting two and two together as he spoke. "The vamps don't really care enough about a little broken rule here and there just as long as it's only typical teenage stuff, so they don't 'listen in' or whatever you want to call their psychic eavesdropping all the time."
"But what if they thought something was going on that was more than a little broken rule or two, and they had an idea about a certain group of fledglings who might know something," I said.
"They'd focus their thoughts on that group of fledglings," Damien concluded for me. "You really can't tell us certain things!"
"Damn," Shaunee said.
"Sucks royally," Erin said.
"Took you guys long enough," Aphrodite said.
Damien ignored her. "This has something to do with Stevie Rae, doesn't it?"
I nodded.
"Hey, speaking of," Shaunee said.
"What happened to her?" Erin asked.
"Didn't shit happen to her," Aphrodite said. "She found me. I un-freaked when I finally got my Mark back, and then I came back here."
"And she went where?" Damien asked.
"Do I look like a damn babysitter? How the hell am I supposed to know where your bumpkin friend went? All she said was she had to go because she had issues. Like that was a big shock."
"You're gonna have issues with my fist in your face if you start talking shit about Stevie Rae," Shaunee said.
"I'll hold her skinny ass for you, Twin," Erin said.
"Do you two share a brain?" Aphrodite said.
"Oh. My. God! Enough!" I yelled. "I might die. Twice. Some weird ghostly thing messed with me today, and now I'm feeling scared crapless about it. I'm not sure what the hell's going on with Stevie Rae, and Neferet has called a Council Meeting probably to go over her plans for wara war that is totally not the right thing to do. And you guys can't stop bickering! You're giving me a headache and pissing me off."
"You better listen to her. I counted two real cuss words and one almost cuss in that little speech. She's serious," Aphrodite said.
I saw the Twins actually have to stifle smiles. Jeesh. Why is my not liking to cuss such a big deal?
"Okay. We'll try to get along," Damien said.
"For Zoey," Jack said, giving me a sweet smile.
"For Zoey," the Twins said together.
My heart squeezed as I looked at each of my friends. They had my back. No matter whatthey would still stand beside me.
"Thanks, guys," I said, blinking back tears.
"Group hug!" Jack said.
"Ah, hell no," Aphrodite said.
"That's one thing we can agree with Aphrodite on," Erin said.
"Yeah, time to go," Shaunee said.
"Ah oh, Damien, we gotta go, too. You told Stark we'd check to be sure he was settled in before the meeting," Jack said.
"Oh, that's right," Damien said. "Bye, Z. See ya soon."
He and Jack followed the Twins out of my room. Calling goodbye to me, they filed down the hall, then went on chattering about the hottiness of Stark, leaving me with Aphrodite.
"So, my friends aren't so bad, huh?" I said.
Aphrodite turned her cool blue gaze on me. "Your friends are dorks," she said.
I grinned and butted my shoulder into her. "Then that makes you a dork."
"That's what I'm afraid of," she said. "Speaking of me being in hellcome to my room. There's something you have to help me figure out before we go to the Council Meeting."
I shrugged. "Okay by me." Actually, I was feeling pretty good about myself. My friends were speaking to me again, and it seemed that everyone might actually have a chance of getting along. "Hey," I said as we walked down the hall to Aphrodite's room. "Did you notice that the Twins said something nice to you before they left?"
"The Twins are symbiotic, and I hope very soon someone takes them away to perform science experiments on them."
"That attitude is not helping," I said.
"Could we just focus on what's really important?"
"Like?"
"Me, of course, and what I need you to help me with." Aphrodite opened the door to her room, and we walked into what I liked to think of as her palace. I mean, jeesh, the place looked like she'd decorated it out of a Guide to Gossip Girl Design magazineif there was such a thing. Which, sadly, there probably was. (Not that I don't adore Gossip Girl!)
"Aphrodite, has anyone ever told you that you might have a personality disorder?"
"Several overpaid shrinks. Like I care." Aphrodite walked across the room and opened the door to the hand-painted (probably antique and majorly expensive) armoire that sat in front of her hand-carved (for sure antique and majorly expensive) four-poster canopy bed. As she rummaged around in it, she said, "Oh, by the way, you have got to find a way for the Council to make it okay for you and, tragically, me andas much as I hate to say ityour nerd herd, too, to be allowed off campus."
"Huh?"
Aphrodite sighed and turned to face me. "Would you please keep up with me? We have to be able to come and go so we can figure out what the fuck is going on with Stevie Rae and her nasty friends."
"I already told you that I'm not gonna let you talk bad about Stevie Rae. Nothing is going on with her."
"That's up for discussion, but since you refuse to sanely discuss it this particular time, I'm talking about the freaks she's hanging with. What if you're right and Neferet wants to use them against humans? Not that I particularly like humans, but I definitely don't like war. So I'm thinking you need to be checking into that."
"Me? Why me? And why do I have to figure out a way to get all of us in and out of the school?"
"Because you are the superhero fledgling. I'm just your more attractive sidekick. Oh, and the herd of nerd are your dorky minions."
"Great," I said.
"Hey, don't stress about it. You'll think of something. You always do."
I blinked in surprise at her. "Your confidence in me is shocking." And I wasn't kidding. I mean, she really looked like she thought I'd figure out this mess.
"It shouldn't be." She turned back to searching through the cluttered armoire. "I know better than just about anyone else how gifted you've been by Nyx. That you're powerful, blah, blah, whatever. So you'll figure it out. Finally! God, I wish they'd let us have housekeepers in here. I can never find anything when I'm forced to clean up after myself." Aphrodite emerged with a green candle in a pretty green crystal glass and a fancy lighter.
"You need me to help you figure out something about a candle?"
"No, genius. Sometimes I really wonder about Nyx's choices." She handed me the little gold lighter. "I want you to help me figure out if I've lost my affinity for earth."
CHAPTER 8
I looked from the green candle to Aphrodite. Her face was pale and her lips were compressed into a thin bloodless line. "You haven't tried to evoke earth since you lost your Mark?" I asked gently.
She shook her head and continued to look like her stomach hurt.
"Okay, well, you're right. I can help you figure this out. I should probably cast a circle."
"That's what I thought." Aphrodite drew in a deep shaky breath. "Let's get this over with." She walked over to the wall that was on the opposite side of the room as her bed. She stood there, holding up her candle. "This is north."
"All right." Resolutely, I went to stand in front of Aphrodite. Turning to the east, I closed my eyes and centered myself. "It fills our lungs and gives us life. I call air to my circle." Even without a yellow candle representing the elementand without Damien and his air affinityI felt the instant response of the element as a soft breeze smoothed against my body.
I opened my eyes and turned to my right, moving deosil, or clockwise, around the circle to the south, where I stopped. "It heats us and keeps us safe and warm. I call fire to my circle." I smiled as the air around me warmed with the second element.
Moving again to my right, I stopped next in the west. "It washes us and quenches us. I call water to my circle." Right away I felt the cool of invisible waves against my legs. Smiling, I moved to stand in front of Aphrodite.
"Ready?" I asked her.
She nodded and closed her eyes and raised the green candle that represented her element.
"It sustains us and surrounds us. I call earth to my circle." I flicked the lighter and held the little flame to the candle.
"Ow, shit!" Aphrodite cried. She dropped the candle as if it had stung her. It shattered against the wood floor at her feet. When her eyes lifted from looking at the ruined glass and candle mess, I saw that they were filled with tears. "I've lost it." Her voice was little more than a whisper as the tears spilled over and down her cheeks. "Nyx took it away from me. I knew she would. I knew I wasn't good enough for her to gift me with an affinity for something as amazing as the element earth."
"I don't believe that's what's happened," I said.
"But you saw it. I'm not earth anymore. Nyx won't let me represent the element," she sobbed.
"I don't mean that you still have your earth affinity. What I mean is I don't think Nyx took it away from you because you're not worthy."
"But I'm not," Aphrodite said brokenly.
"I just don't believe that. Here, let me show you."
I took a small step back from her. This time without Aphrodite's candle, I said, "It sustains and surrounds us. I call earth to my circle."
The scents and sounds of a spring meadow instantly surrounded me. Trying to ignore the fact that what I was doing was making Aphrodite cry even harder, I walked to the center of my invisible circle and called the last of the five elements to me. "It is what we are before we're born, and what we eventually return to. I call spirit to my circle." My soul sang within me as the final element filled me.
Holding tightly to the power that always came to me when I evoked the elements, I raised my arms over my head. I tilted my head up, seeing not the ceiling over me, but imagining through it to the velvet darkness of the all-encompassing night sky. And I prayednot the way my mom and her husband, the step-loser, pray, all filled with fake humbleness and with lots of decorative amens and whatnot. I didn't change who I was when I prayed. I talked to my Goddess just like I would talk to my grandma or my best friend.
I like to believe Nyx appreciates my honesty.
"Nyx, from this place of power you have given me, I ask that you hear my prayer. Aphrodite has lost a lot, and I don't think that's because you don't care about her anymore. I think there's something else going on here, and I really wish you'd let her know that you're still with herno matter what."
Nothing happened. I drew a deep breath and centered myself again. I'd heard Nyx's voice before. I mean, sometimes she actually talked to me. Sometimes I just got feelings about things. Either would be okay right now, I added that little part of my prayer silently. Then I tried to concentrate even harder. I closed my eyes and listened so hard within that I was squidging my eyes and holding my breath. Actually, I was listening so hard, I almost didn't hear Aphrodite's shocked gasp.
I opened my eyes, and my mouth flopped open along with them.
Floating between Aphrodite and me was the shimmering silver image of a beautiful woman. Later, when Aphrodite and I tried to describe to each other exactly what she'd looked like, we realized we couldn't remember any details except that we both said she'd looked like spirit suddenly made visiblewhich really wasn't any description at all.
"Nyx!" I said.
The Goddess smiled at me, and I thought my heart would pound out of my chest with happiness. "Greetings, my u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya" she said, using the Cherokee word for "daughter," just like my grandma often did. "You were right to call me. You should follow your true instinct more often, Zoey. It will never lead you wrong."
Then she turned to Aphrodite, who, with a sob, dropped to her knees before the Goddess.
"Do not weep, my precious child." Nyx's ethereal hand reached out, and like a beautiful dream given substance, she caressed Aphrodite's cheek.
"Forgive me, Nyx!" she cried. "I've done so many stupid things, and made so many mistakes. I'm sorry for all of it. I really am. I don't blame you for taking away my Mark and my earth affinity. I know I don't deserve either of them."
"Daughter, you misunderstand me. I didn't remove your Mark. It was the strength of your humanity that burned it away, just as it was the strength of your humanity that saved Stevie Rae. Whether you like it or not, you will always be more sublimely human than anything else, which is part of why I love you so deeply. But do not think that you are only a human now, my child. You are more than that, but exactly what that means, you must discoverand choosefor yourself." The Goddess took Aphrodite's hand and lifted her to her feet. "I want you to understand that the earth affinity was never yours, daughter. You simply held it in safekeeping for Stevie Rae. You see, the earth could not truly live within her until her humanity had been restored. You were who I trusted to keep that precious gift safe, as well as the vessel through which Stevie Rae's humanity was returned to her."