What. . what
You told me to get out of the car, he said into her ear. So I did. Her slender body was all kinds of leaf-in-the-wind weak, nothing but a shimmer in her cheapo whore clothes. Compared to the physical battles with Xhex, this was a single breath versus a hurricane gale. What a bore.
Lets go inside, he murmured, lowering his mouth to her throat and running a fang up her jugular. The other partygoer should be waiting for us.
As she shrank away from him, her face turned around and he smiled, flashing his hardware. Her scream flushed an owl from its perch overhead, and to make sure she cut the Hitchcocking, he slapped his free palm over her piehole and forced her to the front door.
Inside, the place smelled like death, thanks to the induction the night before and all the blood in the buckets. There was an advantage to the residual, however. As he willed the lights on and the chick got a look-see at the dining room, she went rigid with terror and then passed the fuck out.
Damn good of her. Made getting her on the table and tied up splayed wide easy.
After catching his breath, he took the buckets into the kitchen, rinsed them out in the sink, cleaned up the knives, and wished like hell Mr. D was still around to take care of the shit work.
He was just putting the spray nozzle back where it belonged when it dawned on him the lesser theyd done the night before was nowhere to be seen.
Taking the buckets into the dining room, he set them out under the whores wrists and ankles and then did a quick double-check of the downstairs. When all he got was a whole lot of not-there, he jogged up to the second floor.
The closet door in the bedroom was open and there was a hanger on the bed like a shirt had been macked. Shower in the bath had fresh water dripping down its side walls.
What the fuck?
How in the hell did that guy take off? There hadnt been a car, so the only other option was walking out the lane. And then hitching a ride. Or hot-wiring one of these farmers trucks.
Lash went downstairs and found that the whore had come around and was fighting against the gag in her mouth, her eyes bugging as she writhed on the table.
Wont be long, he told her, glancing down at her spindly legs. She had tattoos on both, but they were a hot mess with no theme at all, just random blotchessome of which you could maybe identify, others of which were ruined either by bad reinking or scars.
Lot of butterflies done in neon, he supposed. Maybe that had been the plan at first.
He paced around, going out to the kitchen and then coming back through the dining room and heading down the hall again. The sharp sound of stilettos knocking against the table and the squeak of bare skin faded into the distance as he wondered where the hell the new recruit was and why his father was late.
Half an hour later he still had a whole lot of nothing doing and he sent a mental ping to the other side.
His father did not answer.
Lash went upstairs and shut the door, thinking that maybe he wasnt concentrating properly because he was pissed off and frustrated. Sitting on the bed, he put his hands on his knees and calmed himself. When his heartbeat was slow and steady, he took a deep breath, pinged again. . and got nothing.
Maybe something had happened to the Omega?
In a rush of emotion, he decided to go over to Dhunhd himself.
His molecules scrambled well enough, but when he tried to re- form on the other plane of existence, he was blocked. Shut out. Denied.
It was like hitting a solid wall, and as he bounced back to the crappy bedroom in the farmhouse, his body absorbed the shock on a wave of nausea.
What. The. Fuck
As his cell phone went off, he snatched it out of his suit coat pocket and frowned when he saw the number.
Hello? he said.
The giggle that came through was boyish. Hi ya, asswipe. Its your new boss. Guess who just got promoted? By the way, your daddy says not to bother him anymore. Bad move asking about the ladiesyou should know your father better than that. Oh, and Im supposed to kill you now. See you soon!
The new recruit started laughing, that sound punching through the connection, drilling into Lashs head as the call was ended.
By the other party.
She was not pregnant. At least, not that Doc Jane knew.
But courtesy of that happy little pause in panic-ville, Xhex didnt remember anything of the trip to the compound. The idea that there was even a chance she could have been. .
After all, she hadnt been wearing her cilicesand their purpose was to kill the symphath tendencies in her, including ovulation.
What would she have done?
Okay, moot point there, and she needed to cut that shit right out. God knew she had enough to worry about in the actually happening category.
Breathing deep, she inhaled Johns scent and concentrated on the strong, steady beat of his heart under her ear. It wasnt long before sleep took her hard, the combination of exhaustion, postfeeding loginess, and the need to peace out of life for a while carrying her into a deep, dreamless state in the back of the SUV.
She woke up to the sensation of being lifted and her eyes opened.
John was carrying her through some kind of parking area that, given the cavelike walls and ceiling, had to be underground. A massive steel door was opened by Vishous, who seemed to be in a surprising mood to help, and on the far side. . was a nightmare.
The long, anonymous hall had pale tile on the floor, concrete-block walls, and a low ceiling that had fluorescent box lights in it.
The past slid into place, the filter of prior experience replacing what was actually occurring with a remembered nightmare. In Johns arms, her body went from weak to manic and she started to fight the hold on her, battling to get free. The commotion was instantaneous, people rushing toward her, a loud sound like a siren blaring
As it dimly occurred to her that her jaw hurt, she realized she was yelling.
And then suddenly all she saw was Johns face.
Hed somehow managed to turn her around in his arms and they were nose-to-nose, eye-to-eye, his hands digging into her sides and her hips. With the sight of that institutional corridor replaced with his blue stare, the grab of the past was broken and she was caught by him.
He didnt say a thing. Just stayed still and let her look at him.
It was exactly what she needed. She locked onto his eyes and used them to turn her brain off.
When he nodded, she nodded back to him and he started moving forward again. From time to time, his stare flicked away from hers to check where they were going, but it always returned.
It always came back.
There were voices, a number of them, and a lot of doors opening and shutting, and then a whole lot of pale green tile: She was in an examination room, with a multilight chandelier above her and all kinds of medical supplies in glass-front cabinets everywhere she looked.
As John put her on the table, she lost control of her reins again. Her lungs refused to do their job, as if the air were poisoned, and her eyes bounced around, hitting all kinds of panic triggers like equipment, and instruments, and the table. . the table.
Okay, were losing her again. Doc Janes tone was relentlessly level. John, get in there.
Johns face came back in close and Xhex held on to his eyes.
Xhex? Doc Janes voice came from over on the left. Im going to give you a sedative
No drugs! The answer leaped out of her mouth. Id rather be terrified. . than helpless. .
Her breath was painfully short, and each impotent draw of her rib cage convinced her as nothing else could that life was about suffering more than it was about joy. There had been too many of these moments, too many times the pain and fear took over, too many dark shadows that didnt just lurk, but sucked out all the illumination from the night in which she existed.
Let me go. . let me go away. .When Johns eyes went wide, she realized that shed found one of his knives, unsheathed it, and was trying to put it in his palm. Please let me go. . I dont want to be here anymore. . put me out forever, please. .
Lot of frozen bodies around her and the lack of movement refocused her a little. Rhage and Mary were in the corner. Rehv was there. Vishous and Zsadist. No one was speaking or budging an inch.
John took the dagger from her hand and the removal was what made her cry. Because he wasnt going to use it. Not on her. Not now. . not ever.
And she lacked the strength to do it herself.
All at once, a tremendous emotion boiled in her gut, and as it expanded and pressure grew inside her body, she looked around frantically as shelves started to rattle and the computer over in the corner began to bounce on the desk.
John was on it, though. And he was on it fast. He started to sign with the same kind of urgency she was feeling, and a moment later, everyone left.
Except for him.
Trying desperately not to explode, she looked down at her hands. They were shaking so badly, they were like the wings of a fly. . and it was when she was staring at them that she hit bottom.
The scream pealed out of her and the sound was utterly foreign, all high-pitched and horrified.
John stood his ground. Even when she screamed again.
He wasnt going anywhere. He wasnt rattled. He was just. . there.
Grabbing the sheet that circled her, she tightened it around her body, very aware she was breaking down, that the fissure had been tapped by that trip down the hall and now she had splintered. In fact, she felt as though there were two of her in the room, the mad one on the table screaming her head off and crying bloody tears. . and a calm, sane one in the far corner, watching herself and John.
Would the two parts of her cleave together again? Or would she be ever thus, wrenched asunder?
Her mind chose the observer persona over the hysterical one and she retreated into that soundless place where she witnessed herself sob to the point of asphyxiation. The streaks of blood that ran down her paper white cheeks didnt disgust her and nor did the crazy, wide eyes or epileptic thrashing of her arms and legs.
She felt sorry for the female who had been driven to such straits. Who had kept herself apart from all emotions.
The female had been born under a curse. The female had done evil and had evil done unto her. The female had hardened herself, her mind and her emotions becoming steel.
The female had been wrong about that locking down, that self-containment.
It was not a case of strength, as she had always told herself.
It was strictly survival. . and she simply couldnt keep it up any longer.
TWENTY-SIX
You had. . sex. With Eliahu Rathboone.
Gregg set Holly back from him and stared into her face, thinking shed lost her damn mindwell, lost what little of a one she had. And that made two of them, because he had clearly imagined what hed just seen outside.
Except her eyes were utterly clear and without guile. He came to me. Id fallen asleep
Another round of banging on the door cut her off, and then Stans voice came through. Hello? Which room am I
Later, Stan, Gregg clipped out. As the grumbling faded, footsteps in the hall went down to Hollys room and a door was slammed.
Come here. He tugged Holly over to the bed. Sit down and tell me. . what the hell you think happened.
He focused on her puffy lips as she spoke. Well, Id just gotten out of the shower. I was exhausted and I lay down on the bed to rest my eyes before I got into my nightgown. I must have fallen asleep. . because the next thing I knew I had this dream
Oh, for Gods sake. Holly, just because you had a nightmare doesnt mean you
Im not finished, she snapped. And it wasnt a nightmare.
I thought you were freaking out.
The scary stuff came afterward. She arched a brow. Are you going to let me talk?
Fine. But only on the hope that he could get her mouth to do something else later. Damn, her lips looked good. . Go head.
Head. Yup. Thats what he was thinking.
I started to have this dream that this man came into my room. He was very tall and muscular. . one of the biggest men Ive ever seen. He was dressed in black and he stood over my bed. He smelled amazing. . and he just stared at me. I. . Her hand wrapped around her neck and slowly slid down between her breasts. I took off my towel and pulled him on top of me. It was. . indescribable. .
Which was good news. Because he suddenly didnt want to hear anything about what happened next.
He took me. More with that hand-on-the-neck thing. As Ive never been had before. He was so
hung like a fire hose and did you twelve different ways to Sunday. Congratulations. Your subconscious should be directing porn. What does this have to do with Eliahu Rathboone.
Holly glared at him. . and then yanked her lapel to the side. Because when I woke up, I had this. She jabbed at what certainly appeared to be a hickey on her neck. And Id actually had sex.
Gregg frowned hard. You. . How do you know?
How do you think I know.
Gregg cleared his throat. Are you okay? He put his hand on her arm. I mean. . ah, do you want to call the police.
Hollys laugh was low and achingly sexy. Oh, it was consensual. Whatever it was. Her expression lost its glow. Thats the point. . I dont know what it was. I thought Id dreamed it. I didnt think it was real until. .
Until there was some undeniable evidence to the contrary.
Gregg brushed her blond extensions over her shoulder. You sure youre all right?
I guess so.
Man, it didnt take him even a moment to make up his mind. Well, thats it. Were leaving tomorrow.
What? Oh, my God, Gregg. . I didnt mean to cause problems She frowned. Maybe. . maybe I dreamed the after part where I woke up, too. I took another shower. . maybe none of it really happened.
Fuck it, Ill call Atlanta in the a.m. and tell them its back on. Im not going to have you staying where youre not safe.
Jesus, I mean, thats very chivalric of you, but. . I dont know. Everythings so fuzzy, and now I wonder if Ill just feel better in the morning. Im really confused. . it was weird. Her fingertips went to her temples and started rubbing in circles, like her head was aching. I will say that I wanted it to happen, every step of the way
Was your door locked? He wanted an answer to the question, but he also didnt need to hear about the Ghost with the Mostest, thank you very much.
I always lock a hotel room door before I have a shower.
Windows?
Closed. I guess theyre locked. I dont know.
Well, you stay with me tonight. Youll be safe here. And not just because he wasnt going to hit on her now. He had a gun with him. Always. And the thing was permitted and he knew how to use it: Back when people had been getting popped in L.A. traffic, hed decided to get armed.
Together they stretched out on the bed. Ill leave the light on.
Its okay. Just lock the door.
He nodded and slipped off the bed, throwing the dead bolt as well as the chain; then he did a quick pass by the windows to inspect the latches. When he lay back down, she nestled into the crook of his arm and sighed.
With a lean, he pulled the duvet out from under their legs and over them, turned off the lamp and eased back into the pillows.
He thought of that man out walking the grounds and nearly growled. Fuck. This. Shit. Either it was a local with a passkey, or a staff member who could jimmy the lock.
Assuming anything had happened at all. Which she seemed less and less sure of
Whatever. They were leaving in the morning and that was that.
He frowned in the darkness. Holly?
Yes?
Why did you think it was Rathboone.
She yawned widely. Because he looked exactly like the portrait in the living room.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Down in the exam room at the underground clinic, John stood before Xhex and felt utterly powerless to help her. As she sat screaming on the stainless-steel table, her arms strained against her hold on the sheet, and her face stretched long, her mouth tearing open, red tears spilling out of her eyes and falling down her white cheeks. . And he could do nothing about any of it.
He knew the rough place she was in. Knew that he couldnt possibly reach the well that she was down at the bottom of: Hed been there himself. He knew exactly what it was like to trip and fall and be in agony from hard impact. . even though your body technically hadnt gone anywhere.
The only difference was that she had a voice to give her pain wings.
As his ears rang and his heart broke for her, he stayed strong against the gale force she let loose. After all, there was a reason why here and hear were separated by so little and sounded one like the other. Bearing witness to her, he heard her and was there for her because that was all you could do during a fall apart.
But God, it pained him to see how she suffered. Pained him and focused him, Lashs face gathering like a ghost taking physical form in Johns mental eye. As she screamed and screamed, he vowed vengeance until his heart beat not blood, but the need for revenge.
And then Xhex took a series of big breaths. And a couple more.
I think Im done with that, she said roughly.
He waited a moment to make sure. When she nodded, he took out his pad and wrote quickly.
As he flashed the page to her, her eyes went to the writing and it took her a couple of tries to get the gist.
Can I wash my face first?
He nodded and went over to the stainless-steel sink. Running a stream of cool water, he got a clean towel from a stack and wet it before returning to her. As she held out her hands, he put the damp cloth in her palms and watched as she slowly pressed it against her face. It was hard to see her so frail and he thought back to how he had always known her: strong, powerful, edged-out.
Her hair had grown longer and was starting to curl up at the ends, suggesting that if she didnt cut it, it would have a thick wave in the length. God, he wanted to touch the softness.
His eyes moved down to the table and abruptly popped wide. The sheet had twisted out from under her. . and there was a dark spot on the towels that had been wrapped around her hips.
As he inhaled deeply, he caught the scent of fresh blood and was surprised he hadnt before. Then again, hed been pretty fucking distracted.
Oh. . Christ. She was bleeding. .
He tapped her lightly on the arm and mouthed, Doc Jane.
Xhex nodded. Yeah. Lets get this over with.
Frantic, John stalked over to the door of the exam room. Out in the hall, there was a legion of worried faces, with Doc Jane at the head of the group.
She ready for me? When John stepped to the side and motioned urgently with his arm, the doctor came forward.
He stopped her, though. With his back to Xhex, he signed, Shes injured somewhere. Shes bleeding.
Doc Jane put her hand on his shoulder and maneuvered him around in a circle so they traded places. I know. Why dont you wait outside. Ill take good care of her. Ehlena? Would you mind coming inIm going to need a second set of hands.
Rehvenges shellan went into the exam room and John watched over the doctors head as the female started washing her hands.
Why isnt Vishous assisting? he signed.
Were just doing an ultrasound to make sure shes all right. Im not operating. Doc Jane smiled at him in a professional waywhich was oddly frightening. And then the door was shut in his face.
He looked around at the others. All the males were locked out in the hall. Only females in there with her.
His mind started to churn and it didnt take him long to come to a conclusion that couldnt possibly be right.
A heavy hand landed on his shoulder and Vs voice was low. No, you need to stay out here, John. Let go.
That was when he realized his palm had locked on the door handle. Looking down, he told himself to release his hold. . and had to send the command twice before his grip slid off the metal.
There was no more screaming. No sounds at all.
He waited. And waited. And paced and waited some more. Vishous lit another hand-rolled. Blay joined him, firing up a Dunhill. Qhuinn drummed a beat out on his thigh. Wrath petted Georges head while the golden retriever watched John with kind brown eyes.
Eventually, Doc Jane poked her head around the door and looked at her mate. I need you.
Vishous put out his cig on the sole of his boot and tucked the butt into his back pocket. Scrubbing in?
Yup.
Let me go change.
As the male jogged off to the locker room, Doc Jane met Johns eyes. Im going to take good care of her
Whats wrong? Why is she bleeding? he signed.
Im going to take care of her.
And then the door shut again.
When V came back, he looked every bit the warrior even though he was out of his leathers, and John hoped like hell the guys competency on the field translated into the medical racket.
Those diamond eyes of his flashed and he clapped John on the shoulder before slipping into the exam room. . which evidently was now functioning as an OR.
As the door closed, John felt like doing a little screaming of his own.
Instead, he kept with the walking, going up and down the corridor. Up and down. Up. . and down. Eventually, the others dispersed, heading into a nearby classroom, but he couldnt stand to join them.
With each pass by the door that was closed to him, he went wider afield, until the trip took him all the way to exit into the parking area and then back to the locker room. His long legs ate up the distance, turning what was a good fifty yards into a matter of mere inches.
Or at least it seemed that way.
On what must have been his fifth trip down toward the lockers, John pivoted around and found himself in front of the offices glass door. The desk and the filing cabinets and the computer seemed relentlessly normal and he took a strange comfort from the inanimate objects.
But the deep breath was lost when he stepped forward once again.
In his peripheral vision, he saw the cracks in the concrete wall across the way, the fissures spidering out from a single impact source.
He remembered the night it had happened. That horrible night.
He and Tohr had been sitting together in the office, him doing schoolwork, the Brother trying to keep calm as he called home over and over again. Every time Wellsie didnt answer, every time he got voice mail, the tension was cranked up moreuntil Wrath had appeared with the Brotherhood behind him.
The news that Wellsie was gone was tragic. . but then Tohr had learned the how: Not because she was pregnant with their first child, but because a lesser had killed her in cold blood. Murdered her. Taken her out and the baby with her.
That was what had caused these marks.
John walked over and ran his fingertips across the fine lines in the concrete. The rage had been so great, Tohr had literally imploded into a supernova, the emotional overload dematerializing him to some other place.
John never had learned where hed gone.
A sense of being observed had him lifting his head and looking over his shoulder. Tohr was on the far side of the glass door, standing in the office, staring out.
The two met each others stare and it was male to male, not elder to younger.
John was a different age now. And like so many things in this situation, there was no going back.
John? Doc Janes voice came from far down the hall and he wheeled around,then ran to her.
How is she? What happened? Is she
Shes going to be okay. Shes just coming out of the anesthesia. Im going to keep her in bed for the next six hours or so. I understand she fed from you? He flashed his wrist and the doc nodded. Good. Id appreciate it if youd stay with her in case she needs to again?
Like he would be anywhere else.
As John stepped inside the exam room, he moved on his tiptoes, not wanting to disturb anything; but she wasnt there.
Shes been moved into the other room, V said from over by the autoclave.
Before he went through to the far door, he stared at the aftermath of whatever had been done to Xhex. There was an alarming pile of bloody gauze on the floor and more blood on the table shed been on. The sheet and towels shed been wrapped in were off to the side.
So much blood. All of it fresh.
John whistled loudly so that V would look over. Can someone tell me what the fuck went on in here?
You can talk to her about it. As the Brother got out an orange biohazard bag and started to gather up the used gauze, V paused, but did not meet Johns eyes. Shes going to be okay.
And that was when John knew for sure.
However bad hed thought shed been treated, shed gotten it worse. Much worse.
Generally speaking, when there were injuries sustained in combat or on the field, the information was traded back and forth without a thoughtfemur broken, ribs crushed, stab wound. But a female came in, was examined without males present, and no one would speak a word of what had been operated on?
Just because lessers were impotent didnt mean they couldnt do other things with. .
The cold breeze that shot through the OR brought Vs head up again. Word of advice, John. Id keep your suppositions to yourself. Assuming you want to be the one who kills Lash, true? No sense Rehv or the Shadows, much as I respect them, doing what is your right.
My God, the Brother was cool, John thought.
Nodding once, he went over to Xhexs room, thinking those males werent the only reason he was going to keep a lid on things. Xhex didnt need to know the lengths he was going to go to, either.
Xhex felt like someone had parked a Volkswagen bus in her uterus.
The pressure was so great, she actually lifted her head and looked down her body to see if she was swollen to garage dimensions.
Nope. Flat as always.
She let her head fall back.
On some level, she couldnt believe where she was now: on the other side of the operation, lying in a bed with her arms and legs and head still attached. . and the tear in her uterine wall repaired.
When she was in the grips of her iatrophobia, she couldnt see past what her brain had marked as deadly. To her, in that flipped-out state, she was not in a safe environment, surrounded by people she knew and could trust.
Now, having gone through the fire, the fact that she was unscathed and well gave her a weird buzz of endorphins.
There was a soft knock, and she knew who it was by the scent beneath the door.
Touching her hair, she wondered what the hell she looked like and decided it was better not to know. Come in.
John Matthews head ducked inside and his eyebrows lifted in a howre-you-feeling arch.
Im okay. Im better. Groggy from the meds.
He slipped through and leaned back against the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets and crossing one shitkicker over the other. His T-shirt was nothing but a white Hanes, which was probably a good call, given that it was stained with lesser blood.
He smelled like a male should. Soap and clean sweat.
And he looked like a male should. Tall and broad and deadly.
God, had she really lost it that badly in front of him?
Your hairs shorter, she said for no particular reason.
He unplugged one of his hands and awkwardly brushed at the skull trim. With his head tilted down, the powerful muscles that ran from his shoulders up into his neck flexed under his golden skin.
Abruptly, she wondered if she would ever have sex again.
It was an alien thought, to be sure. Considering how shed spent the last