As she walked past the reception desk, she waved to the executive director, Rhonda Knute, who was on the phone. Then she nodded to Nan, Stuart, and Lola, who were on deck tonight, and settled into a vacant cubicle. After making sure she had plenty of intake forms, a couple of pens, and the hotline's intervention reference book, she took a bottle of water out of her purse.
Almost immediately one of her phone lines rang, and she checked the screen for caller ID. She knew the number. And the police had told her it was a pay phone. Downtown.
It was her caller.
The phone rang a second time and she picked up, following the hotline's script "Suicide Prevention Hotline, this is Mary. How may I help you?"
Silence. Not even breathing.
Dimly, she heard the hum of a car engine flare and then fade in the background. According to the police's audit of incoming calls, the person always phoned from the street and varied his location so he couldn't be traced.
"This is Mary. How may I help you?" She dropped her voice and broke protocol. "I know it's you, and I'm glad you're reaching out tonight again. But please, can't you tell me your name or what's wrong?"
She waited. The phone went dead.
"Another one of yours?" Rhonda asked, taking a sip from a mug of herbal tea.
Mary hung up. "How did you know?"
The woman nodded across her shoulder. "I heard a lot of rings out there, but no one got farther than the greeting. Then all of a sudden you were hunched over your phone."
"Yeah, well"
"Listen, the cops got back to me today. There's nothing they can do short of assigning details to every pay phone in town, and they're not willing to go that far at this point."
"I told you. I don't feel like I'm in danger."
"You don't know that you're not."
"Come on, Rhonda, this has been going on for nine months now, right? If they were going to jump me, they would have already. And I really want to help"
"That's another thing I'm concerned about. You clearly feel like protecting whoever the caller is. You're getting too personal."
"No, I'm not. They're calling here for a reason, and I know I can take care of them."
"Mary, stop. Listen to yourself." Rhonda pulled a chair over and lowered her voice as she sat down. "This is hard for me to say. But I think you need a break."
Mary recoiled. "From what?"
"You're here too much."
"I work the same number of days as everyone else."
"But you stay here for hours after your shift is through, and you cover for people all the time. You're too involved. I know you're substituting for Bill right now, but when he comes I want you to leave. And I don't want you back here for a couple of weeks. You need some perspective. This is hard, draining work, and you have to have a proper distance from it."
"Not now, Rhonda. Please, not now. I need to be here now more than ever."
Rhonda gently squeezed Mary's tense hand. "This isn't an appropriate place for you to work out your own issues, and you know that. You're one of the best volunteers I've got, and I want you to come back. But only after you've had some time to clear your head."
"I may not have that kind of time," Mary whispered under her breath.
"What?"
Mary shook herself and forced a smile. "Nothing. Of course, you're right. I'll leave as soon as Bill comes in."
Bill arrived about an hour later, and Mary was out of the building in two minutes. When she got home, she shut her door and leaned back against the wood panels, listening to all the silence. The horrible, crushing silence.
God, she wanted to go back to the hotline's offices. She needed to hear the soft voices of the other volunteers. And the phones ringing. And the drone of the fluorescent lights in the ceiling
Because with no distractions, her mind flushed up terrible images: Hospital beds. Needles. Bags of drugs hanging next to her. In an awful mental snapshot, she saw her head bald and her skin gray and her eyes sunken until she didn't look like herself, until she wasn't herself.
And she remembered what it felt like to cease being a person. After the doctors started treating her with chemo, she'd quickly sunk into the fragile underclass of the sick, the dying, becoming nothing more than a pitiful, scary reminder of other people's mortality, a poster child for the terminal nature of life.
Mary darted across the living room, shot through the kitchen, and threw open the slider. As she burst out into the night, fear had her gasping for breath, but the shock of frosty air slowed her lungs down.
You don't know that anything's wrong. You don't know what it is
She repeated the mantra, trying to pitch a net on the thrashing panic as she headed for the pool.
The Lucite in-ground was no more than a big hot tub, and its water, thickened and slowed by the cold, looked like black oil in the moonlight. She sat down, took off her shoes and socks, and dangled her feet in the icy depths. She kept them submerged even when they numbed, wishing she had the gumption to jump in and swim down to the grate at the bottom. If she held on to the thing for long enough, she might be able to anesthetize herself completely.
She thought of her mother. And how Cissy Luce had died in her own bed in the house the two of them had always called home.
Everything about that bedroom was still so clear: The way the light had come through the lace curtains and landed on things in a snowflake pattern. Those pale yellow walls and the off-white wall-to-wall rug. That comforter her mother had loved, the one with the little pink roses on a cream background. The smell of nutmeg and ginger from a dish of potpourri. The crucifix above the curving headboard and the big Madonna icon on the floor in the corner.
The memories burned, so Mary forced herself to see the room as it had been after everything was over, the illness, the dying, the cleaning up, the selling of the house. She saw it right before she'd moved out. Neat. Tidy. Her mother's Catholic crutches packed away, the faint shadow left by the cross on the wall covered by a framed Andrew Wyeth print.
The tears wouldn't stay put. They came slowly, relentlessly, falling into the water. She watched them hit the surface and disappear.
When she looked up, she was not alone.
Mary leaped to her feet and stumbled back, but stopped herself, wiping her eyes. It was just a boy. A teenage boy. Dark-haired, pale-skinned. So thin he was emaciated, so beautiful he didn't look human.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, not particularly afraid. It was hard to be scared of anything that angelic. "Who are you?'
He just shook his head.
"Are you lost?" He sure looked it. And it was too cold for him to be out just in the jeans and T-shirt he was wearing. "What's your name?"
He lifted a hand to his throat and moved it back and forth while shaking his head. As if he were a foreigner and frustrated by the language barrier.
"Do you speak English?'
He nodded and then his hands started flying around. American Sign Language. He was using ASL.
Mary reached back to her old life, when she'd trained her autistic patients to use their hands to communicate.
Do you read lips or can you hear? she signed back at him.
He froze, as if her understanding him had been the last thing he'd expected.
I can hear very well. I just can't talk.
Mary stared at him for a long moment. "You are the caller."
He hesitated. Then nodded his head. I never meant to scare you. And I don't call to annoy you. I just like to know you're there. But there's nothing weird to it, honest. I swear.
His eyes met hers steadily.
"I believe you." Except what did she do now? The hotline prohibited contact with callers.
Yeah, well, she wasn't about to kick the poor kid off her property.
"You want something to eat?"
He shook his head. Maybe I could just sit with you awhile? I'll stay on the other side of the pool.
As if he were used to people telling him to get away from them.
"No," she said. He nodded once and turned away. "I mean, sit down here. Next to me."
He came at her slowly, as if expecting her to change her mind. When all she did was sit down and put her feet back in the pool, he took off a pair of ratty sneakers, rolled up his baggy pants, and picked a spot about three feet from her.
God, he was so small.
He slipped his feet in the water and smiled.
It's cold, he signed.
"You want a sweater?"
He shook his head and moved his feet in circles.
"What's your name?"
John Matthew.
Mary smiled, thinking they had something in common. "Two New Testament prophets."
The nuns gave it to me.
"Nuns?"
There was a long pause, as if he were debating what to tell her.
"You were in an orphanage?" she prompted gently. She recalled that there was still one in town, run by Our Lady of Mercy.
I was born in a bathroom stall in a bus station. The janitor who found me took me to Our Lady. The nuns thought up the name.
She kept her wince to herself. "Ah, where do you live now? Were you adopted?'
He shook his head.
"Foster parents?" Please, God, let there be foster parents. Nice foster parents. Who kept him warm and fed. Good people who told him he mattered even if his parents had deserted him.
When he didn't reply, she eyed his old clothes, and the older expression on his face. He didn't look as if he'd known a lot of nice.
Finally, his hands moved. My place is on Tenth Street.
Which meant he was either a poacher living in a condemned building or a tenant in a rat-infested hovel. How he managed to be so clean was a miracle.
"You live around the hotline's offices, don't you? Which was how you knew I was on this evening even though it wasn't my shift."
He nodded. My apartment is across the street. I watch you come and go, but not in a sneaky way. I guess I think of you as a friend. When I called the first time you know, it was on a whim or something. You answered... and I liked the way your voice sounded.
He had beautiful hands, she thought. Like a girl's. Graceful. Delicate.
"And you followed me home tonight?"
Pretty much every night. I have a bike, and you're a slow driver. I figure if I watch over you, you'll be safer. You stay so late, and that's not a good part of town for a woman to be alone in. Even if she's in a car.
Mary shook her head, thinking he was an odd one. He looked like a child, but his words were those of a man. And all things considered, she probably should be creeped out. This kid latching on to her, thinking he was some kind of protector even though it looked as if he were the one who needed to be rescued.
Tell me why you were crying just now, he signed.
His eyes were very direct, and it was eerie to have an adult male stare anchored by a child's face.
"Because I might be out of time," she blurted.
"Mary? Are you up for a visit?"
Mary looked over her right shoulder. Bella, her only neighbor, had walked across the two acre meadow that ran between their properties and was standing on the edge of the lawn.
"Hey, Bella. Ah, come meet John."
Bella glided up to the pool. The woman had moved into the big old farmhouse a year ago and they'd taken to talking at night. At six feet tall, and with a mane of dark waves that fell to the small of her back, Bella was a total knockout. Her face was so beautiful it had taken Mary months to stop staring, and the woman's body was right off the cover of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition.
So naturally John was looking awestruck.
Mary wondered idly what it would be like to get that reception from a man, even a prepubescent one. She'd never been beautiful, falling instead into that vast category of women who were neither bad-looking nor good-looking. And that had been before chemo had done a number on her hair and skin.
Bella leaned down with a slight smile and offered her hand to the boy. "Hi."
John reached up and touched her briefly, as if he weren't sure she was real. Funny, Mary had often felt the same way about the woman. There was something too much about her. She just seemed larger than life, more vivid than the other people Mary ran into. Certainly more gorgeous.
Although Bella sure didn't act the part of the femme fatale. She was quiet and unassuming and she lived alone, apparently working as a writer. Mary never saw her in the daytime, and no one ever seemed to come or go out of the old farmhouse.
John looked at Mary, his hands moving. Do you want me to leave?
Then, as if anticipating her answer, he pulled his feet from the water.
She put her hand on his shoulder, trying to ignore the sharp thrust of bone just under his shirt.
"No. Stay."
Bella took off her running shoes and socks and flicked her toes over the surface of the water. "Yeah, come on, John. Stay with us."
CHAPTER 4
Rhage saw the first one he wanted tonight. She was a blond human female, all sexed-up and ready to go. Like the rest of her kind in the bar, she'd been throwing him signals: Flashing her ass. Fluffing her teased hair.
"Find something you like?" V said dryly.
Rhage nodded and crooked his finger at the female. She came when called. He liked that in a human.
He was tracking the shift of her hips when his view was blocked by another tight female body. He looked up and forced his eyes not to roll.
Caith was one of his kind, and beautiful enough with her black hair and those dark eyes. But she was a Brother chaser, always sniffing around, offering herself. He had the sense she saw them as prizes, something to brag about. And how irritating was that.
As far as he was concerned, she put the itch in bitch.
"Hey, Vishous," she said in a low, sexy voice.
"Evenin', Caith." V took a sip of his Grey Goose. "What up?"
"Wondering what you're doing."
Rhage looked around Caith's hips. Thank God the blonde wasn't put off by a little competition. She was still coming toward the table.
"You going to say hello, Rhage?" Caith prompted.
"Only if you get out of the way. You're blocking my view."
The female laughed. "Another of your cast of thousands. How lucky she is."
"You wish, Caith."
"Yes, I do." Her eyes, predatory and hot, glided over him. "Maybe you'd like to hang with Vishous and me?"
As she reached out to stroke his hair, he caught her wrist. "Don't even try it."
"How is it you'll do so many humans and deny me?"
"Just not interested."
She leaned down, talking into his ear. "You should try me sometime."
He jerked her away from him, tightening his hand on her bones.
"That's right, Rhage, squeeze harder. I like it when it hurts." He let go immediately, and she smiled while rubbing her wrist. "So are you busy, V?"
"I'm settling in right now. But maybe a little later."
"You know where to find me."
When she left, Rhage glanced over at his brother. "I don't know how you can stand her."
V tossed back his vodka, watching the female with hooded eyes. "She has her attributes."
The blonde arrived, stopping in front of Rhage and striking a little pose. He put both hands on her hips and pulled her forward so she straddled his thighs.
"Hi," she said, moving against his hold. She was busy looking him over, sizing up his clothes, eyeing the heavy gold Rolex peeking out from under his trench coat's sleeve. The calculation in her eyes was as cold as the center of his chest.
God, if he could have left he would have; he was so sick of this shit. But his body needed the release, demanded it. He could feel his drive rising, and as always, that god-awful burn left his dead heart in the dust.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Tiffany."
"Nice to meet you, Tiffany," he said, lying.
Less than ten miles away, at Mary's pool in her backyard, she, John, and Bella were having a surprisingly jolly time.
Mary laughed out loud and looked at John. "You're not serious."
It's true. I shuttled back and forth between the theaters.
"What did he say?" Bella asked, grinning.
"He saw The Matrix four times the day it opened."
The woman laughed. "John, I'm sorry to break this to you, but that's pathetic."
He beamed at her, blushing a little.
"Did you get into the whole Lord of the Rings thing, too?" she asked.
He shook his head, signed, and looked expectantly at Mary.
"He says he likes martial arts," she translated. "Not elves."
"Can't blame him there. That whole hairy feet thing? Can't do it."
A gust of wind came up, teasing fallen leaves into the pool. As they floated by, John reached out and grabbed one.
"What's that on your wrist?" Mary asked.
John held his arm out so she could inspect the leather bracelet. There were orderly markings on it, some kind of cross between hieroglyphics and Chinese characters.
"That's gorgeous."
I made it.
"May I see?" Bella asked, leaning over. Her smile disintegrated and her eyes narrowed on John's face. "Where did you get this?"
"He says he made it."
"Where did you say you're from?"
John retracted his arm, clearly a little unnerved by Bella's sudden focus.
"He lives here," Mary said. "He was born here."
"Where are his parents?"
Mary faced her friend, wondering why Bella was so intense. "He doesn't have any."
"None?"
"He told me he grew up in the foster-care system, right, John?"
John nodded and cradled his arm against his stomach, protecting the bracelet.
"Those markings," Bella prompted. "Do you know what they mean?"
The boy shook his head and then winced and rubbed his temples. After a moment, his hands signed slowly.
"He says they don't mean anything," Mary murmured. "He just dreams of them and he likes the way they look. Bella, ease off, okay?"
The woman seemed to catch herself. "Sorry. I ah, I'm really sorry."
Mary glanced at John and tried to take the pressure off him. "So what other movies do you like?"
Bella got to her feet and shoved on her running shoes. Without the socks. "Will you guys excuse me for a moment? I'll be right back."
Before Mary could say anything, the woman jogged across the meadow. When she was out of earshot, John looked up at Mary. He was still wincing.
I should go now.
"Does your head hurt?"
John pushed his knuckles into the space between his eyebrows. I feel like I just ate ice cream really fast.
"When did you have dinner?"
He shrugged. I don't know.
Poor kid was probably hypoglycemic. "Listen, why don't you come inside and eat with me? Last thing I had was takeout for lunch, and that was about eight hours ago."
His pride was obvious in the firm shake of his head. I'm not hungry.
"Then will you sit with me while I have a late dinner?" Maybe she could entice him to eat that way.
John stood up and held out his hand as if to help her to her feet. She took his small palm and leaned on him just enough so he'd feel some of her weight. Together they headed for her back door, shoes in hand, bare feet leaving wet prints on the chilly flagstone around the pool.
Bella burst into her kitchen and stalled out. She'd had no particular plan when she'd taken off. She just knew she had to do something.
John was a problem. A serious problem.
She couldn't believe she hadn't recognized him for what he was right off the bat. Then again, he hadn't gone through the change yet. And why would a vampire be hanging out in Mary's backyard?
Bella nearly laughed. She hung out in Mary's backyard. So why couldn't others like her do the same?
Putting her hands on her hips, she stared at the floor. What the hell was she going to do? When she'd searched John's conscious mind, she'd found nothing about his race, his people, his traditions. The boy didn't know a thing, had no idea who he really was or what he was going to turn into. And he honestly didn't know what those symbols meant.
She did. They spelled out TEHRROR in the Old Language. A warrior's name.
How was it possible he'd been lost to the human world? And how long did he have before his transition hit? He looked as if he was in his early twenties, which meant he had a year or two. But if she was wrong, if he was closer to twenty-five, he could be in immediate danger. If he didn't have a female vampire to help him through the change, he was going to die.
Her first thought was to call her brother. Rehvenge always knew what to do about everything. The problem was, once that male got involved in a situation, he took over completely. And he tended to scare the hell of everyone.
Haversshe could ask Havers for help. As a physician, he could tell how long the boy had before the transition. And maybe John could stay at the clinic until his future was clearer.
Yeah, except he wasn't sick. He was a pretransition male, so he was physically weak, but she'd sensed no illness in him. And Havers ran a medical facility, not some kind of rooming house.
Besides, what about that name? It was a warrior's
Bingo.
She went out of the kitchen and into the sitting room, heading for the address book she kept on her desk. In the back, on the last page, she'd written a number that had been circulating for the last ten years or so. Rumor had it, that if you called, you could reach the Black Dagger Brotherhood. The race's warriors.
They would want to know there was a boy with one of their names left to fend for himself. Maybe they would take John in.
Her palms were sweaty as she picked up the phone, and she half expected either for the number not to go through or to have it answered by someone telling her to go to hell. Instead, all she got was an electronic voice repeating what she had dialed and then a beep.
"I ah, my name is Bella. I'm looking for the Brotherhood. I need help." She left her number and hung up, thinking less was more. If she was misinformed, she didn't want to leave a detailed message on some human's voice mail.
She looked out a window, seeing the meadow and the glow of Mary's house in the distance. She had no idea how long it would take for someone to get back to her, if at all. She should probably go back and find out where the kid lived. And how he knew Mary.
God, Mary. That awful disease was back. Bella had sensed its return and had been debating how to handle what she knew when Mary had mentioned she was going in for her quarterly physical. That had been a couple of days ago, and tonight Bella had planned to ask how things had gone. Maybe she could help the female in some small way.
Moving quickly, she went back to the French doors that faced the meadow. She'd find out more about John and
The phone rang.
So soon? Couldn't be.
She reached across the counter and picked up the kitchen's extension. "Hello?"
"Bella?" The male voice was low. Commanding.
"Yes."
"You called us."
Holy Moses, it worked.
She cleared her throat. Like any civilian, she knew all about the Brotherhood: their names, their reputations, their triumphs and legends. But she'd never actually met one. And it was a little hard to believe she was talking to a warrior in her kitchen.
So get to the point, she told herself.
"I, ah, I have an issue." She explained to the male what she knew about John.
There was silence for a moment. "Tomorrow night you will bring him to us."
Oh, man. Just how would she pull that off?
"Ah, he doesn't speak. He can hear, but he needs a translator to be understood."
"Then bring one with him."
She wondered how Mary would feel about getting tangled up in their world. "The female he's using tonight is a human."
"We'll take care of her memory."
"How do I get to you?"
"We will send a car for you. At nine o'clock."
"My address is"
"We know where you live."
As the phone went dead, she shivered a little.
Okay. Now she just had to get John and Mary to agree to see the Brotherhood.
When she got back to Mary's barn, John was sitting at the kitchen table while the female ate some soup. They both looked up as she approached, and she tried to be casual as she sat down. She waited a little bit before throwing the ball out.
"So, John, I know some folks who are into the martial arts." Which wasn't exactly a lie. She'd heard the brothers were good at all kinds of fighting. "And I was wondering, would you have any interest in meeting them?"
John cocked his head and moved his hands around while looking at Mary.
"He wants to know why. For training?"
"Maybe."
John signed some more.
Mary wiped her mouth. "He says that he can't afford the cost of training. And that he's too small."
"If it were free would he go?" God, what was she doing, promising things she couldn't deliver? Heaven knew what the Brotherhood would do with him. "Listen, Mary, I can take him to a place where he can meet tell him it's a place where master fighters hang out. He could talk to them. Get to know them. He might like to"
John tugged on Mary's sleeve, signed some, and men stared at Bella.
"He wants to remind you that he can hear perfectly well."
Bella looked at John. "I'm sorry."
He nodded, accepting the apology.
"Just come meet them tomorrow," she said. "What do you have to lose?"
John shrugged and made a graceful movement with his hand.
Mary smiled. "He says okay."
"And you'll have to come, too. To translate."
Mary seemed taken aback, but then stared at the boy. "What time?"
"Nine o'clock," Bella replied.
"I'm sorry, I'll be working then."
"At night. Nine o'clock at night."
CHAPTER 5
Butch walked into One Eye feeling like someone had pulled the stoppers out of a number of his internal organs. Marissa had refused to see him, and though he wasn't surprised, it still hurt like a bitch.
So it was time for some Scotch therapy.
After sidestepping a drunken bouncer, a knot of floozies, and a pair of arm wrestlers, Butch found the troika's regular table. Rhage was in the far corner behind it, up against the wall with a brunette. V was nowhere in sight, but a glass filled with Grey Goose and a knotted drink stirrer were in front of a chair.
Butch was two shots in and not feeling much better when Vishous came out from the back. His shirt was untucked and wrinkled at the bottom, and right on his heels was a black-haired woman. V waved her off when he saw Butch.
"Hey, cop," the brother said as he sat down.
Butch tipped his shot glass. "What's doing?"
"How"
"No go."
"Aw, hell, man. I'm sorry."
"Me, too."
V's phone went off and he cocked it open. The vampire said two words, put the thing back in his pocket, and reached for his coat.
"That was Wrath. We've got to be back at the house in a half hour."
Butch thought about sitting and drinking alone. That plan had bad idea written all over it. "You want to poof it or ride back with me?"
"We got time to drive."
Butch tossed the Escalade's keys across the table. "Bring the car around. I'll grab Hollywood."
He got up and headed for the dark corner. Rhage's trench coat was flared out around the brunette's body. God only knew how far things had gone underneath.
"Rhage, buddy. We gotta bounce."
The vampire lifted his head, all tight lips and narrowed eyes.
Butch held his hands up. "I'm not cock-blocking for kicks and giggles. The mother ship called."
With a curse, Rhage stepped back. The brunette's clothes were disarranged and she was panting, but they hadn't gotten to showtime yet. Hollywood's leathers were all where they should be.
As Rhage retreated, the woman grabbed at him as if realizing the orgasm of her life was about to walk out the door. With a smooth movement, he passed his hand in front of her face and she froze. Then she looked down at herself as if trying to figure out how she'd come to be so aroused.
Rhage turned away with a glower, but by the time he and Butch were outside, he was shaking his head ruefully.
"Cop, listen, I'm sorry if I gave you the evil eye back there. I get a little focused."
Butch clapped him on the shoulder. "No problem."
"Hey, how did your female"
"Not a chance."
"Damn, Butch. That rots."
They piled into the Escalade and headed north, following
Route 22 deeper into the countryside. They were going at quite a clip, Trick Daddy's Thug Matrimony thumping like a jackhammer, when V hit the brakes. In a clearing, back about a hundred yards from the road, there was something hanging from a tree.