He felt empty.
10Ronnie
For a while, a larger group had gathered at Bowers Point, but one by one, theyd taken off until only the five regulars remained. Some of the others had been okay, a couple were even kind of interesting, but then the liquor and beer started taking effect, and everyone but Ronnie thought they were a lot funnier than they really were. After a while, it got kind of boring and familiar.
She was standing alone at the waters edge. Behind her, near the bonfire, Teddy and Lance were smoking, drinking, and occasionally throwing fireballs at each other, Blaze was slurring her words and hanging all over Marcus. It was getting late, too. Not by New York standardsback home, she didnt show up at the clubs until midnightbut considering what time shed gotten up, it had been a long day. She was tired.
Tomorrow, she was going to sleep in. When she got home, she was going to hang towels or a blanket over the curtain rod; hell, shed nail them to the wall if she had to. She had no intention of spending the whole summer rising with the farmers, even if she was going to spend the day at the beach with Blaze. Blaze had surprised her with the suggestion, and it actually sounded kind of appealing. Besides, there wasnt much to do otherwise. Earlier, after theyd left the diner, theyd walked through most of the nearby shopsincluding the music store, which was very cooland afterward, theyd gone to Blazes house to watch The Breakfast Club while her mom was at work. Sure, it was an eighties movie, but Ronnie still loved it and had seen it at least a dozen times. Even though it was dated, it felt surprisingly real to her. More real than what was going on here tonightespecially since the more Blaze drank, the more she ignored Ronnie and clung to Marcus.
Ronnie already neither liked nor trusted Marcus. She had pretty good radar when it came to guys, and she sensed there was something off about him. It was like there was something missing in Marcuss eyes when he talked to her. He said the right thingsno more crazy suggestions about heading to Florida, at least, and by the way, how weird was that?but the more time she spent with him, the more he creeped her out. She didnt like Teddy or Lance, either, but Marcus she got the vibe that acting normal was simply a game he played so he could manipulate people.
And Blaze
It was strange being in her house earlier, because it seemed so normal. It stood in a quiet cul-de-sac and had bright blue shutters and an American flag that fluttered from the porch.
Inside, the walls were painted cheery colors, and a vase of fresh flowers stood on the dining room table. The place was clean, but not neurotically so. In the kitchen, there was some money on the table, along with a note addressed to Blaze. When Ronnie caught Blaze sliding a few bills into her pocket and reading the note, Blaze mentioned that her mom always left money for her. It was how she knew Blaze was okay when she didnt come home.
Odd.
What she really wanted was to talk to Blaze about Marcus, but she knew that wouldnt do any good. Lord knows shed learned that from KaylaKayla lived in denialbut even so, it didnt make sense. Marcus was bad news, and Blaze was clearly better off without him. She wondered why Blaze couldnt see that. Maybe tomorrow theyd talk about it at the beach.
Are we boring you?
Turning, she saw Marcus standing behind her. He was holding a fireball, letting it roll across the back of his hand.
I just wanted to come down to the water.
Do you want me to bring you a beer?
By the way he asked, she could tell he already knew what she was going to say.
I dont drink.
Why?
Because it makes people act stupid, she could have said. But she didnt. She knew that any explanation she offered would only prolong the conversation. I just dont. Thats all.
Just say no? he taunted.
If you say so.
In the darkness, he wore the ghost of a smile, but his eyes remained shadowy pits. Do you think youre better than us?
No.
Then cmon. He gestured to the bonfire. Sit with us.
Im fine.
He glanced over his shoulder. Behind him, Ronnie could see Blaze digging through the cooler for another beer, which was the last thing she needed. She was already unsteady on her feet.
Without warning, he took a step toward her, reaching for her waist. He squeezed, pulling her closer to him. Lets walk the beach.
No, she hissed. Im not in the mood. And take your hand off me.
It stayed in place. She could tell Marcus was enjoying this. You worried about what Blaze would think?
I just dont want to, okay?
Blaze wont care.
She took a step back, increasing the distance between them.
I do, she said. And Ive got to go.
He continued to stare at her. Yeah, you do that. Then, after a pause, he spoke up so the others could hear: No, Ill just stay here. But thanks for asking.
She was too shocked to say anything in response. Instead, she started down the beach, knowing that Blaze was watching, and suddenly thinking she couldnt get away fast enough.
At home, her father was playing the piano, and as soon as she walked in, he peeked at the clock.
After what just happened, she wasnt in the mood to deal with him, so she started for the hallway without a word. He must have seen something in her face, however, because he called out to her.
Are you okay?
She hesitated. Yeah, Im fine, she said.
You sure?
I dont want to talk about it.
He studied her before answering. Okay.
Is there anything else?
Its almost two a.m., he pointed out.
And?
He bent over the keyboard. Theres some pasta in the fridge if youre hungry.
She had to admit hed surprised her with that one. No lecture, no orders, no laying down the law. Pretty much the opposite of how Mom would have handled it. She shook her head and walked to the bedroom, wondering if anyone or anything was normal down here.
She forgot to hang blankets over the windows, and the sun lasered into the room, waking her after shed slept for less than six hours.
Groaning, she rolled over and pulled the pillow on top of her head when she remembered what had happened at the beach the night before. Then she sat up, knowing sleep was out of the question.
Marcus definitely creeped her out.
Her first thought was that she should have said something last night, when he had called out. Something like What the hell are you talking about? or If you think Id go anywhere alone with you, youre out of your mind! But she hadnt, and she suspected that simply walking away was the worst thing she could have done.
She really, really had to talk to Blaze.
With a sigh, she swung herself out of bed and padded to the bathroom. Quickly, she showered and threw on a bathing suit beneath her clothes, and then filled a tote bag with towels and lotion. By the time she was ready, she could hear her father playing the piano. Again. Even back in the apartment hed never played this much. Focusing on the music, she realized he was playing one of the pieces shed performed at Carnegie Hall, the same one on the CD that her mom had been playing in the car.
As if she didnt have enough to deal with right now.
She needed to find Blaze so she could explain what happened. Of course, how to do that without making Marcus out to be a liar might be a problem. Blaze would want to believe Marcus, and who knew what the guy had said after she left. But shed cross that bridge when she came to it; hopefully, lying in the sun would keep things mellow and she could bring it up naturally.
Ronnie left her bedroom and walked down the hall just as the music from the living room ended, only to be followed by the second piece shed played at Carnegie Hall.
She paused, adjusting the tote bag on her shoulder. Of course hed do that. No doubt because hed heard the shower and knew she was awake. No doubt because he wanted them to find common ground.
Well, not today, Dad. Sorry, but she had things to do. She really wasnt in the mood for this.
She was about to make a dash to the front door when Jonah emerged from the kitchen.
Didnt I say you were supposed to get something good for you? she heard her dad ask.
I did. Its a Pop-Tart.
I was thinking more along the lines of cereal.
This has sugar. Jonah wore an earnest expression. I need my energy, Dad.
She started to walk quickly through the living room, hoping to make it to the door before he tried to talk to her.
Jonah smiled. Oh, hey, Ronnie! he said.
Hi, Jonah. Bye, Jonah. She reached for the door handle.
Sweetheart? she heard her dad say. He stopped playing. Can we talk about last night?
I really dont have time to talk right now, she said, adjusting her tote bag.
I just want to know where you were all day.
Nowhere. Its not important.
It is important.
No, Dad, she said, her voice firm. It isnt. And Ive got things to do, okay?
Jonah motioned to the door with his Pop-Tart. What things? Where are you going now?
This was exactly the conversation shed hoped to avoid. Its none of your business.
How long are you going to be gone?
I dont know.
Will you be back for lunch or dinner?
I dont know, she huffed. Im leaving.
Her dad started to play the piano again. Her third piece from Carnegie Hall. He might as well have been playing Moms CD.
Were going to fly kites later. Me and Dad, I mean.
She didnt seem to hear him. Instead, she swiveled toward her dad. Would you just stop with that? she snapped.
He stopped playing abruptly. What?
The music youre playing! You dont think I recognize those pieces? I know what youre doing, and I already told you Im not going to play.
I believe you, he said.
Then why do you keep trying to get me to change my mind? Why is it that every time I see you, youre sitting there pounding away?
He seemed genuinely confused. It has nothing to do with you, he offered. It just
makes me feel better.
Well, it makes me feel sick. Dont you get that? I hate the piano. I hate that I had to play every single day! And I hate that I even have to see the damn thing anymore!
Before her dad could say another word, she turned, snatched Jonahs Pop-Tart out of his hand, and stormed out the door.
It took a couple of hours before she found Blaze in the same music store theyd visited yesterday, a couple of blocks from the pier. Ronnie hadnt known what to expect when theyd first visited the storeit seemed kind of antiquated these days in the age of iPods and downloadsbut Blaze had assured her it would be worth it, and it had been.
In addition to CDs, there were actual vinyl record albumsthousands of them, some of them most likely collectors items, including an unopened copy of Abbey Road and a slew of old 45s simply hanging on the wall with signatures of people like Elvis Presley, Bob Marley, and Ritchie Valens. Ronnie was amazed that they werent under lock and key. They had to be valuable, but the guy who managed the place looked like a throwback to the sixties and seemed to know everyone. He had long gray hair pulled back into a ponytail that reached his waist, and his glasses were the same kind John Lennon had favored. He wore sandals and a Hawaiian shirt, and though he was old enough to be Ronnies grandfather, he knew more about music than anyone shed ever met, including a lot of recent underground stuff shed never even heard in New York. Along the back wall were headphones where customers could either listen to albums and CDs or download music onto their iPods. Peeking through the window this morning, she saw Blaze standing with one hand cupping a headphone to an ear, the other tapping the table in rhythm to whatever she was listening to.
In no way was she prepared for a day at the beach.
Ronnie took a deep breath and headed inside. As bad as it soundedshe didnt think Blaze should be getting drunk in the first placeshe kind of hoped that Blaze had been so out of it that shed forgotten what happened. Or even better, that she had been sober enough to know that Ronnie had no interest in Marcus.
As soon as she started down the aisle full of CDs, Ronnie sensed that Blaze had been expecting her. She turned down the volume on the headphones, though she didnt remove them from her ears, and turned around. Ronnie could still hear the music, something loud and angry she didnt recognize. Blaze gathered up the CDs.
I thought we were friends, she started.
We are, Ronnie insisted. And Ive been looking all over for you because I didnt want you to have the wrong idea about what went on last night.
Blazes expression was icy. You mean about asking Marcus to go for a walk with you?
It wasnt like that, Ronnie pleaded. I didnt ask him. I dont know what his game was
His game? His game? Blaze threw down the headphones. I saw the way you were staring at him! I heard what you said!
But I didnt say it! I didnt ask him to walk anywhere
You tried to kiss him!
What are you talking about? I didnt try to kiss him
Blaze took a step forward. He told me!
Then hes lying! Ronnie snapped, holding her ground. Theres something seriously wrong with that guy.
No no dont even go there
He lied to you. I wouldnt kiss him. I dont even like him. The only reason I was there was because you insisted that we go.
For a long moment, Blaze didnt say anything. Ronnie wondered if she was finally getting through to her.
Whatever, Blaze said, her tone making her meaning perfectly clear.
She pushed past Ronnie, jostling her as she headed toward the door. Ronnie watched her go, unsure whether she was hurt or angry at the way Blaze had just acted before deciding it was a bit of both. Through the window, she saw Blaze storm off.
So much for trying to make things better.
Ronnie wasnt sure what to do next: She didnt want to go to the beach, but she didnt want to go home, either. She didnt have access to a car, and she knew absolutely no one. Which meant what? Maybe shed end up spending the summer on some bench where shed feed the pigeons like some of the weirder denizens of Central Park. Maybe shed end up naming them
At the exit, her thoughts were brought to a halt by the sudden blaring of an alarm, and she glanced over her shoulder, first in curiosity and then in confusion as she realized what was happening. There was only one way in and out of the store.
The next thing she knew, the ponytailed man was rushing toward her.
She didnt try to run because she knew shed done nothing wrong; when the ponytailed man asked for her bag, she saw no reason not to give it to him. Obviously, a mistake had been made, and it wasnt until the man removed two CDs and half a dozen of the signed 45s from her tote bag that she realized shed been right about Blaze expecting Ronnie to find her. The CDs were the ones that Blaze had been holding, and Blaze had taken down the 45s from the wall. In shock, she began to understand that Blaze had planned it all along.
Suddenly dizzy, she barely heard the manager tell her that the police were already on their way.
11Steve
After buying the materials he needed, primarily two-by-fours and sheets of plywood, Steve and Jonah spent the morning closing off the alcove. It wasnt prettyhis father would have been mortifiedbut Steve thought it would do. He knew the cottage would eventually be demolished; if anything, the land was worth more without it. The bungalow was flanked by three-story minimansions, and Steve was certain those neighbors considered the place an eyesore that depressed their own property values.
Steve hammered in a nail, hung the photograph of Ronnie and Jonah hed removed from the alcove, and took a step back to examine his handiwork.
What do you think? he asked Jonah.
Jonah wrinkled his nose. It looks like we built an ugly plywood wall and hung a picture on it. And you cant play the piano anymore, either.
I know.
Jonah tilted his head from side to side. I think its crooked, too. It kind of bends in and out.
I dont see anything.
You need glasses, Dad. And I still dont see why you wanted to put it up in the first place.
Ronnie said she didnt want to see the piano.
So?
Theres no place to hide the piano, so I put a wall up instead. Now she doesnt have to see it.
Oh, Jonah said, thinking. You know, I really dont like having to do homework. In fact, I dont even like to see it piled on my desk.
Its summer. You dont have any homework.
Im just saying that maybe I should build a wall around the desk in my room.
Steve suppressed a laugh. You might have to talk to your mom about that.
Or you could.
Steve gave in to a chuckle. You hungry yet?
You said we were going to go kite flying.
We will. I just want to know if you want lunch.
I think Id rather have some ice cream.
I dont think so.
A cookie? Jonah sounded hopeful.
How about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Okay. But then were going to fly the kite, right?
Yes.
All afternoon?
As long as you want.
Okay. Ill have a sandwich. But you have to have one, too.
Steve smiled, putting his arm on Jonahs shoulder. Deal. They headed toward the kitchen.
You know, the living room is a whole lot smaller now, Jonah observed.
I know.
And the wall is crooked.
I know.
And it doesnt match the other walls.
Whats your point?
Jonahs face was serious. I just want to make sure youre not going crazy.
It was perfect kite-flying weather. Steve sat on a dune two houses down from his own, watching the kite zigzag across the sky. Jonah, full of energy as usual, ran up and down the beach. Steve watched him with pride, amazed to recall that when hed done the same thing as a child, neither of his parents had ever joined him.
They werent bad people. He knew that. They never abused him, he never went hungry, they never argued in his presence. He visited the dentist and doctor once or twice a year, there was always plenty to eat, and he always had a jacket on cold winter mornings and a nickel in his pocket so he could buy milk at school. But if his father was stoic, his mother wasnt all that different, and he supposed that was the reason theyd stayed married as long as they had. She was originally from Romania; his father had met her while stationed in Germany. She spoke little English when they were married and never questioned the culture in which shed been raised. She cooked and cleaned and washed the clothes; in the afternoons, she worked part-time as a seamstress. By the end of her life, shed learned passable English, enough to navigate the bank and grocery store, but even then her accent was heavy enough that it was sometimes difficult for others to understand her.
She was also a devout Catholic, something of an oddity in Wilmington at the time. She went to services every day and prayed the rosary in the evenings, and though Steve appreciated the tradition and ceremony of mass on Sundays, the priest always struck him as a man who was both cold and arrogant, more interested in church rules than what might be best for his flock.
Sometimesmany times, actuallySteve wondered how his life would have turned out had he not heard the music coming from the First Baptist Church when he was eight years old.
Forty years later, the details were fuzzy. He vaguely remembered walking in one afternoon and hearing Pastor Harris at the piano. He knew the pastor must have made him feel welcome, since he obviously went back again, and Pastor Harris eventually became his first piano teacher.
In time, he began to attendand then later ditchthe Bible study the church offered. In many ways, the Baptist church became his second home and Pastor Harris became his second father.
He remembered his mother wasnt happy about it. When upset, she would mutter in Romanian, and for years, whenever he left for the church, he would hear unintelligible words and phrases while she made the sign of the cross and forced him to wear a scapular. In her mind, having a Baptist pastor teach him the piano was akin to playing hopscotch with the devil.
But she didnt stop him, and that was enough. It didnt matter to him that she didnt attend meetings with his teachers, or that she never read to him, or that no one ever invited his family to neighborhood barbecues or parties. What mattered was that she allowed him not only to find his passion, but to pursue it, even if she distrusted the reason. And that somehow she kept his father, who ridiculed the idea of earning a living through music, from stopping it as well. And for this, he would always love her.
Jonah continued to jog back and forth, though the kite didnt require it. Steve knew the breeze was strong enough to hold it aloft unaided. He could see the outline of a Batman symbol silhouetted between two dark cumulous clouds, the kind that suggested rain was coming.
Although the summer storm wouldnt last longmaybe an hour before the sky cleared again
Steve rose to tell Jonah that it might be a good time to call it a day. He took only a few steps before he noticed a series of faint lines in the sand that led to the dune behind his house, tracks hed seen more than a dozen times when he was growing up. He smiled.
Hey, Jonah! he called out, following the tracks. Come here! Theres something I think you should see!
Jonah jogged toward him, the kite tugging at his arm. What is it?
Steve made his way down the dune to a spot where it merged with the beach itself. Only a few eggs were visible a couple of inches below the surface when Jonah reached his side.
Whatcha got? Jonah asked.
Its a loggerhead nest, Steve answered. But dont get too close. And dont touch. You dont want to disturb it.
Jonah leaned closer, still holding the kite.
Whats a loggerhead? he panted, struggling to control the kite.
Steve reached for a piece of driftwood and began etching a large circle around the nest. Its a sea turtle. An endangered one. They come ashore at night to lay their eggs.
Behind our house?
This is one of the places sea turtles lay their eggs. But the main thing you should know is that theyre endangered. Do you know what that means?
It means theyre dying, Jonah answered. I watch Animal Planet, you know.
Steve completed the circle and tossed aside the piece of driftwood. As he stood, he felt a flash of pain but ignored it. Not exactly. It means that if we dont try to help them and were not careful, the species might become extinct.
Like the dinosaurs?
Steve was about to answer when he heard the phone in the kitchen begin to ring. Hed left the back door open to catch any stray breezes, and he alternately walked and jogged through the sand until hed reached the back porch. He was breathing hard when he answered the phone.
Dad? he heard on the other end.
Ronnie?
I need you to pick me up. Im at the police station.
Steve reached up to rub the bridge of his nose. Okay, he said. Ill be right down.
Pete Johnson, the officer, told him what had happened, but he knew Ronnie wasnt ready to talk about it yet. Jonah, however, didnt seem to care.
Mom is going to be mad, Jonah remarked.
Steve saw Ronnies jaw clench.
I didnt do it, she started.
Then who did?
I dont want to talk about it, she said. She crossed her arms and leaned against the car door.
Moms not going to like it.
I didnt do it! Ronnie repeated, swiveling toward Jonah. And I dont want you to tell her that I did. She made sure he understood she was serious before turning to face her father.
I didnt do it, Dad, she repeated. I swear to God I didnt. You have to believe me.
He heard the desperation in her tone but couldnt help remembering Kims despair when theyd talked about Ronnies history. He thought about the way shed acted since shed been here and considered the kinds of people shed chosen to befriend.
Sighing, he felt what little energy he had left dissipate. Ahead, the sun was a hot and furious orange ball, and more than anything, he knew his daughter needed the truth.
I believe you, he said.
By the time they got home, dusk was setting in. Steve went outside to check on the turtle nest. It was one of those gorgeous evenings typical of the Carolinasa soft breeze, the sky a quilt of a thousand different colorsand just offshore, a pod of dolphins played beyond the break point.
They passed by the house twice a day, and he reminded himself to tell Jonah to watch for them.
No doubt hed want to swim out to see if he could get close enough to touch them; Steve used to try the same thing when he was young, but never once had he been successful.
He dreaded having to call Kim and tell her what happened. Putting it off, he took a seat on the dune beside the nest, staring at what was left of the turtle tracks. Between the wind and the crowds, most of them had been erased entirely. Aside from a small indentation at the spot where the dune met the beach, the nest was practically invisible, and the couple of eggs he could see resembled pale, smooth rocks.
A piece of Styrofoam had blown onto the sand, and as he leaned over to pick it up, he noticed Ronnie approaching. She was walking slowly, her arms crossed, head bowed so that her hair hid most of her face. She stopped a few feet away.
Are you mad at me? she asked.
It was the first time since shed been here that shed spoken to him without a hint of anger or frustration.
No, he said. Not at all.
Then what are you doing out here?
He pointed toward the nest. A loggerhead turtle laid her eggs last night. Have you ever seen one?
Ronnie shook her head, and Steve went on. Theyre beautiful creatures. Theyve got this reddish-brown shell, and they can weigh up to eight hundred pounds. North Carolina is one of the few places they nest. But anyway, theyre endangered. I think only one out of a thousand live to maturity, and I dont want the raccoons to get the nest before they hatch.
How would the raccoons even know that a nest is here?
When a female loggerhead lays her eggs, she urinates. The raccoons can smell it, and theyll eat every single one of the eggs. When I was young, I found a nest on the other side of the pier. One day everything was fine, and the next day all the shells had been broken open. It was sad.
I saw a raccoon on our porch the other day.
I know. Its been getting into the garbage. And as soon as I go in, Im going to leave a message with the aquarium. Hopefully, theyll send someone by tomorrow with a special cage thatll keep the critters out.
What about tonight?
I guess were going to have to have faith.
Ronnie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Dad? Can I ask you something?
Anything.
Why did you say you believed me?
In profile, he could see both the young woman she was becoming and the little girl he remembered.
Because I trust you.