Breaking Dawn - Стефани Майер

Stephenie MeyerBreaking Dawn

BOOK ONE: BELLA

PREFACE

Id had more than my fair share of near-death experiences; it wasnt something you ever really got used to.

It seemed oddly inevitable, though, facing death again. Like I really was marked for disaster. Id escaped time and time again, but it kept coming back for me.

Still, this time was so different from the others.

You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward those kinds of killersthe monsters, the enemies.

When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how could you not give it?

If it was someone you truly loved?

1 ENGAGED

No one is staring at you, I promised myself. No one is staring at you. No one is staring at you.

But, because I couldnt lie convincingly even to myself, I had to check.

As I sat waiting for one of the three traffic lights in town to turn green, I peeked to the rightin her minivan, Mrs. Weber had turned her whole torso in my direction. Her eyes bored into mine, and I flinched back, wondering why she didnt drop her gaze or look ashamed. It was still considered rude to stare at people, wasnt it? Didnt that apply to me anymore?

Then I remembered that these windows were so darkly tinted that she probably had no idea if it was even me in here, let alone that Id caught her looking. I tried to take some comfort in the fact that she wasnt really staring at me, just the car.

My car. Sigh.

I glanced to the left and groaned. Two pedestrians were frozen on the sidewalk, missing their chance to cross as they stared. Behind them, Mr. Marshall was gawking through the plate-glass window of his little souvenir shop. At least he didnt have his nose pressed up against the glass. Yet.

The light turned green and, in my hurry to escape, I stomped on the gas pedal without thinkingthe normal way I would have punched it to get my ancient Chevy truck moving.

Engine snarling like a hunting panther, the car jolted forward so fast that my body slammed into the black leather seat and my stomach flattened against my spine.

Arg! I gasped as I fumbled for the brake. Keeping my head, I merely tapped the pedal. The car lurched to an absolute standstill anyway.

I couldnt bear to look around at the reaction. If there had been any doubt as to who was driving this car before, it was gone now. With the toe of my shoe, I gently nudged the gas pedal down one half millimeter, and the car shot forward again.

I managed to reach my goal, the gas station. If I hadnt been running on vapors, I wouldnt have come into town at all. I was going without a lot of things these days, like Pop-Tarts and shoelaces, to avoid spending time in public.

Moving as if I were in a race, I got the hatch open, the cap off, the card scanned, and the nozzle in the tank within seconds. Of course, there was nothing I could do to make the numbers on the gauge pick up the pace. They ticked by sluggishly, almost as if they were doing it just to annoy me.

It wasnt bright outa typical drizzly day in Forks, Washingtonbut I still felt like a spotlight was trained on me, drawing attention to the delicate ring on my left hand. At times like this, sensing the eyes on my back, it felt as if the ring were pulsing like a neon sign: Look at me, look at me.

It was stupid to be so self-conscious, and I knew that. Besides my dad and mom, did it really matter what people were saying about my engagement? About my new car? About my mysterious acceptance into an Ivy League college? About the shiny black credit card that felt red-hot in my back pocket right now?

Yeah, who cares what they think, I muttered under my breath.

Um, miss? a mans voice called.

I turned, and then wished I hadnt.

Two men stood beside a fancy SUV with brand-new kayaks tied to the top. Neither of them was looking at me; they both were staring at the car.

Personally, I didnt get it. But then, I was just proud I could distinguish between the symbols for Toyota, Ford, and Chevy. This car was glossy black, sleek, and pretty, but it was still just a car to me.

Im sorry to bother you, but could you tell me what kind of car youre driving? the tall one asked.

Um, a Mercedes, right?

Yes, the man said politely while his shorter friend rolled his eyes at my answer. I know. But I was wondering, is that are you driving a Mercedes Guardian? The man said the name with reverence. I had a feeling this guy would get along well with Edward Cullen, my my fiancé (there really was no getting around that truth with the wedding just days away). They arent supposed to be available in Europe yet, the man went on, let alone here.

While his eyes traced the contours of my carit didnt look much different from any other Mercedes sedan to me, but what did I know?I briefly contemplated my issues with words like fiancé, wedding, husband, etc.

I just couldnt put it together in my head.

On the one hand, I had been raised to cringe at the very thought of poofy white dresses and bouquets. But more than that, I just couldnt reconcile a staid, respectable, dull concept like husband with my concept of Edward. It was like casting an archangel as an accountant; I couldnt visualize him in any commonplace role.

Like always, as soon as I started thinking about Edward I was caught up in a dizzy spin of fantasies. The stranger had to clear his throat to get my attention; he was still waiting for an answer about the cars make and model.

I dont know, I told him honestly.

Do you mind if I take a picture with it?

It took me a second to process that. Really? You want to take a picture with the car?

Surenobody is going to believe me if I dont get proof.

Um. Okay. Fine.

I swiftly put away the nozzle and crept into the front seat to hide while the enthusiast dug a huge professional-looking camera out of his backpack. He and his friend took turns posing by the hood, and then they went to take pictures at the back end.

I miss my truck, I whimpered to myself.

Very, very convenienttoo convenientthat my truck would wheeze its last wheeze just weeks after Edward and I had agreed to our lopsided compromise, one detail of which was that he be allowed to replace my truck when it passed on. Edward swore it was only to be expected; my truck had lived a long, full life and then expired of natural causes. According to him. And, of course, I had no way to verify his story or to try to raise my truck from the dead on my own. My favorite mechanic

I stopped that thought cold, refusing to let it come to a conclusion. Instead, I listened to the mens voices outside, muted by the car walls.

. . . went at it with a flamethrower in the online video. Didnt even pucker the paint.

Of course not. You could roll a tank over this baby. Not much of a market for one over here. Designed for Middle East diplomats, arms dealers, and drug lords mostly.

Think shes something? the short one asked in a softer voice. I ducked my head, cheeks flaming.

Huh, the tall one said. Maybe. Cant imagine what youd need missile-proof glass and four thousand pounds of body armor for around here. Must be headed somewhere more hazardous.

Body armor. Four thousand pounds of body armor. And missile-proof glass? Nice. What had happened to good old-fashioned bulletproof?

Well, at least this made some senseif you had a twisted sense of humor.

It wasnt like I hadnt expected Edward to take advantage of our deal, to weight it on his side so that he could give so much more than he would receive. Id agreed that he could replace my truck when it needed replacing, not expecting that moment to come quite so soon, of course. When Id been forced to admit that the truck had become no more than a still-life tribute to classic Chevys on my curb, I knew his idea of a replacement was probably going to embarrass me. Make me the focus of stares and whispers. Id been right about that part. But even in my darkest imaginings I had not foreseen that he would get me two cars.

The before car and the after car, hed explained when Id flipped out.

This was just the before car. Hed told me it was a loaner and promised that he was returning it after the wedding. It all had made absolutely no sense to me. Until now.

Ha ha. Because I was so fragilely human, so accident-prone, so much a victim to my own dangerous bad luck, apparently I needed a tank-resistant car to keep me safe. Hilarious. I was sure he and his brothers had enjoyed the joke quite a bit behind my back.

Or maybe, just maybe, a small voice whispered in my head, its not a joke, silly. Maybe hes really that worried about you. This wouldnt be the first time hes gone a little overboard trying to protect you.

I sighed.

I hadnt seen the after car yet. It was hidden under a sheet in the deepest corner of the Cullens garage. I knew most people would have peeked by now, but I really didnt want to know.

Probably no body armor on that carbecause I wouldnt need it after the honeymoon. Virtual indestructibility was just one of the many perks I was looking forward to. The best parts about being a Cullen were not expensive cars and impressive credit cards.

Hey, the tall man called, cupping his hands to the glass in an effort to peer in. Were done now. Thanks a lot!

Youre welcome, I called back, and then tensed as I started the engine and eased the pedalever so gentlydown. . . .

No matter how many times I drove down the familiar road home, I still couldnt make the rain-faded flyers fade into the background. Each one of them, stapled to telephone poles and taped to street signs, was like a fresh slap in the face. A well-deserved slap in the face. My mind was sucked back into the thought Id interrupted so immediately before. I couldnt avoid it on this road. Not with pictures of my favorite mechanic flashing past me at regular intervals.

My best friend. My Jacob.

The HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY? posters were not Jacobs fathers idea. It had been my father, Charlie, whod printed up the flyers and spread them all over town. And not just Forks, but Port Angeles and Sequim and Hoquiam and Aberdeen and every other town in the Olympic Peninsula. Hed made sure that all the police stations in the state of Washington had the same flyer hanging on the wall, too. His own station had a whole corkboard dedicated to finding Jacob. A corkboard that was mostly empty, much to his disappointment and frustration.

My dad was disappointed with more than the lack of response. He was most disappointed with Billy, Jacobs fatherand Charlies closest friend.

For Billys not being more involved with the search for his sixteen-year-old runaway. For Billys refusing to put up the flyers in La Push, the reservation on the coast that was Jacobs home. For his seeming resigned to Jacobs disappearance, as if there was nothing he could do. For his saying, Jacobs grown up now. Hell come home if he wants to.

And he was frustrated with me, for taking Billys side.

I wouldnt put up posters, either. Because both Billy and I knew where Jacob was, roughly speaking, and we also knew that no one had seen this boy.

The flyers put the usual big, fat lump in my throat, the usual stinging tears in my eyes, and I was glad Edward was out hunting this Saturday. If Edward saw my reaction, it would only make him feel terrible, too.

Of course, there were drawbacks to it being Saturday. As I turned slowly and carefully onto my street, I could see my dads police cruiser in the driveway of our home. Hed skipped fishing again today. Still sulking about the wedding.

So I wouldnt be able to use the phone inside. But I had to call. . . .

I parked on the curb behind the Chevy sculpture and pulled the cell phone Edward had given me for emergencies out of the glove compartment. I dialed, keeping my finger on the end button as the phone rang. Just in case.

Hello? Seth Clearwater answered, and I sighed in relief. I was way too chicken to speak to his older sister, Leah. The phrase bite my head off was not entirely a figure of speech when it came to Leah.

Hey, Seth, its Bella.

Oh, hiya, Bella! How are you?

Choked up. Desperate for reassurance. Fine.

Calling for an update?

Youre psychic.

Not hardly. Im no Aliceyoure just predictable, he joked. Among the Quileute pack down at La Push, only Seth was comfortable even mentioning the Cullens by name, let alone joking about things like my nearly omniscient sister-in-law-to-be.

I know I am. I hesitated for a minute. How is he?

Seth sighed. Same as ever. He wont talk, though we know he hears us. Hes trying not to think human, you know. Just going with his instincts.

Do you know where he is now?

Somewhere in northern Canada. I cant tell you which province. He doesnt pay much attention to state lines.

Any hint that he might . . .

Hes not coming home, Bella. Sorry.

I swallowed. Sokay, Seth. I knew before I asked. I just cant help wishing.

Yeah. We all feel the same way.

Thanks for putting up with me, Seth. I know the others must give you a hard time.

Theyre not your hugest fans, he agreed cheerfully. Kind of lame, I think. Jacob made his choices, you made yours. Jake doesnt like their attitude about it. Course, he isnt super thrilled that youre checking up on him, either.

I gasped. I thought he wasnt talking to you?

He cant hide everything from us, hard as hes trying.

So Jacob knew I was worried. I wasnt sure how I felt about that. Well, at least he knew I hadnt skipped off into the sunset and forgotten him completely. He might have imagined me capable of that.

I guess Ill see you at the wedding, I said, forcing the word out through my teeth.

Yeah, me and my mom will be there. It was cool of you to ask us.

I smiled at the enthusiasm in his voice. Though inviting the Clearwaters had been Edwards idea, I was glad hed thought of it. Having Seth there would be nicea link, however tenuous, to my missing best man. It wouldnt be the same without you.

Tell Edward I said hi, kay?

Sure thing.

I shook my head. The friendship that had sprung up between Edward and Seth was something that still boggled my mind. It was proof, though, that things didnt have to be this way. That vampires and werewolves could get along just fine, thank you very much, if they were of a mind to.

Not everybody liked this idea.

Ah, Seth said, his voice cracking up an octave. Er, Leahs home.

Oh! Bye!

The phone went dead. I left it on the seat and prepared myself mentally to go inside the house, where Charlie would be waiting.

My poor dad had so much to deal with right now. Jacob-the-runaway was just one of the straws on his overburdened back. He was almost as worried about me, his barely-a-legal-adult daughter who was about to become a Mrs. in just a few days time.

I walked slowly through the light rain, remembering the night wed told him. . . .

As the sound of Charlies cruiser announced his return, the ring suddenly weighed a hundred pounds on my finger. I wanted to shove my left hand in a pocket, or maybe sit on it, but Edwards cool, firm grasp kept it front and center.

Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that youre not confessing to a murder here.

Easy for you to say.

I listened to the ominous sound of my fathers boots clomping up the sidewalk. The key rattled in the already open door. The sound reminded me of that part of the horror movie when the victim realizes shes forgotten to lock her deadbolt.

Calm down, Bella, Edward whispered, listening to the acceleration of my heart.

The door slammed against the wall, and I flinched like Id been Tasered.

Hey, Charlie, Edward called, entirely relaxed.

No! I protested under my breath.

What? Edward whispered back.

Wait till he hangs his gun up!

Edward chuckled and ran his free hand through his tousled bronze hair.

Charlie came around the corner, still in his uniform, still armed, and tried not to make a face when he spied us sitting together on the loveseat. Lately, hed been putting forth a lot of effort to like Edward more. Of course, this revelation was sure to end that effort immediately.

Hey, kids. Whats up?

Wed like to talk to you, Edward said, so serene. We have some good news.

Charlies expression went from strained friendliness to black suspicion in a second.

Good news? Charlie growled, looking straight at me.

Have a seat, Dad.

He raised one eyebrow, stared at me for five seconds, then stomped to the recliner and sat down on the very edge, his back ramrod straight.

Dont get worked up, Dad, I said after a moment of loaded silence. Everythings okay.

Edward grimaced, and I knew it was in objection to the word okay. He probably would have used something more like wonderful or perfect or glorious.

Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?

Im not sweating, I lied.

I leaned away from his fierce scowl, cringing into Edward, and instinctively wiped the back of my right hand across my forehead to remove the evidence.

Youre pregnant! Charlie exploded. Youre pregnant, arent you?

Though the question was clearly meant for me, he was glaring at Edward now, and I could have sworn I saw his hand twitch toward the gun.

No! Of course Im not! I wanted to elbow Edward in the ribs, but I knew that move would only give me a bruise. Id told Edward that people would immediately jump to this conclusion! What other possible reason would sane people have for getting married at eighteen? (His answer then had made me roll my eyes. Love. Right.)

Charlies glower lightened a shade. It was usually pretty clear on my face when I was telling the truth, and he believed me now. Oh. Sorry.

Apology accepted.

There was a long pause. After a moment, I realized everyone was waiting for me to say something. I looked up at Edward, panic-stricken. There was no way I was going to get the words out.

He smiled at me and then squared his shoulders and turned to my father.

Charlie, I realize that Ive gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I dont want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, Im asking you for your blessing. Were getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, andby some miracleshe loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?

He sounded so sure, so calm. For just an instant, listening to the absolute confidence in his voice, I experienced a rare moment of insight. I could see, fleetingly, the way the world looked to him. For the length of one heartbeat, this news made perfect sense.

And then I caught sight of the expression on Charlies face, his eyes now locked on the ring.

I held my breath while his skin changed colorsfair to red, red to purple, purple to blue. I started to get upIm not sure what I planned to do; maybe use the Heimlich maneuver to make sure he wasnt chokingbut Edward squeezed my hand and murmured Give him a minute so low that only I could hear.

The silence was much longer this time. Then, gradually, shade by shade, Charlies color returned to normal. His lips pursed, and his eyebrows furrowed; I recognized his deep in thought expression. He studied the two of us for a long moment, and I felt Edward relax at my side.

Guess Im not that surprised, Charlie grumbled. Knew Id have to deal with something like this soon enough.

I exhaled.

You sure about this? Charlie demanded, glaring at me.

Im one hundred percent sure about Edward, I told him without missing a beat.

Getting married, though? Whats the rush? He eyed me suspiciously again.

The rush was due to the fact that I was getting closer to nineteen every stinking day, while Edward stayed frozen in all his seventeen-year-old perfection, as he had for over ninety years. Not that this fact necessitated marriage in my book, but the wedding was required due to the delicate and tangled compromise Edward and I had made to finally get to this point, the brink of my transformation from mortal to immortal.

These werent things I could explain to Charlie.

Were going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie, Edward reminded him. Id like to do that, well, the right way. Its how I was raised. He shrugged.

He wasnt exaggerating; theyd been big on old-fashioned morals during World War I.

Charlies mouth twisted to the side. Looking for an angle to argue from. But what could he say? Id prefer you live in sin first? He was a dad; his hands were tied.

Knew this was coming, he muttered to himself, frowning. Then, suddenly, his face went perfectly smooth and blank.

Dad? I asked anxiously. I glanced at Edward, but I couldnt read his face, either, as he watched Charlie.

Ha! Charlie exploded. I jumped in my seat. Ha, ha, ha!

I stared incredulously as Charlie doubled over in laughter; his whole body shook with it.

I looked at Edward for a translation, but Edward had his lips pressed tightly together, like he was trying to hold back laughter himself.

Okay, fine, Charlie choked out. Get married. Another roll of laughter shook through him. But . . .

But what? I demanded.

But you have to tell your mom! Im not saying one word to Renée! Thats all yours! He busted into loud guffaws.

I paused with my hand on the doorknob, smiling. Sure, at the time, Charlies words had terrified me. The ultimate doom: telling Renée. Early marriage was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies.

Who could have foreseen her response? Not me. Certainly not Charlie. Maybe Alice, but I hadnt thought to ask her.

Well, Bella, Renée had said after Id choked and stuttered out the impossible words: Mom, Im marrying Edward. Im a little miffed that you waited so long to tell me. Plane tickets only get more expensive. Oooh, shed fretted. Do you think Phils cast will be off by then? It will spoil the pictures if hes not in a tux

Back up a second, Mom. Id gasped. What do you mean, waited so long? I just got en-en . . .Id been unable to force out the word engagedthings settled, you know, today.

Today? Really? That is a surprise. I assumed . . .

What did you assume? When did you assume?

Well, when you came to visit me in April, it looked like things were pretty much sewn up, if you know what I mean. Youre not very hard to read, sweetie. But I didnt say anything because I knew it wouldnt do any good. Youre exactly like Charlie. Shed sighed, resigned. Once you make up your mind, there is no reasoning with you. Of course, exactly like Charlie, you stick by your decisions, too.

And then shed said the last thing that Id ever expected to hear from my mother.

Youre not making my mistakes, Bella. You sound like youre scared silly, and Im guessing its because youre afraid of me. Shed giggled. Of what Im going to think. And I know Ive said a lot of things about marriage and stupidityand Im not taking them backbut you need to realize that those things specifically applied to me. Youre a completely different person than I am. You make your own kinds of mistakes, and Im sure youll have your share of regrets in life. But commitment was never your problem, sweetie. You have a better chance of making this work than most forty-year-olds I know. Renée had laughed again. My little middle-aged child. Luckily, you seem to have found another old soul.

Youre not mad? You dont think Im making a humongous mistake?

Well, sure, I wish youd wait a few more years. I mean, do I look old enough to be a mother-in-law to you? Dont answer that. But this isnt about me. This is about you. Are you happy?

I dont know. Im having an out-of-body experience right now.

Renée had chuckled. Does he make you happy, Bella?

Yes, but

Are you ever going to want anyone else?

No, but

But what?

But arent you going to say that I sound exactly like every other infatuated teenager since the dawn of time?

Youve never been a teenager, sweetie. You know whats best for you.

For the last few weeks, Renée had unexpectedly immersed herself in wedding plans. Shed spent hours every day on the phone with Edwards mother, Esmeno worries about the in-laws getting along. Renée adored Esme, but then, I doubted anyone could help responding that way to my lovable almost-mother-in-law.

It let me right off the hook. Edwards family and my family were taking care of the nuptials together without my having to do or know or think too hard about any of it.

Charlie was furious, of course, but the sweet part was that he wasnt furious at me. Renée was the traitor. Hed counted on her to play the heavy. What could he do now, when his ultimate threattelling Momhad turned out to be utterly empty? He had nothing, and he knew it. So he moped around the house, muttering things about not being able to trust anyone in this world. . . .

Dad? I called as I pushed open the front door. Im home.

Hold on, Bells, stay right there.

Huh? I asked, pausing automatically.

Gimme a second. Ouch, you got me, Alice.

Alice?

Sorry, Charlie, Alices trilling voice responded. Hows that?

Im bleeding on it.

Youre fine. Didnt break the skintrust me.

Whats going on? I demanded, hesitating in the doorway.

Thirty seconds, please, Bella, Alice told me. Your patience will be rewarded.

Humph, Charlie added.

I tapped my foot, counting each beat. Before I got to thirty, Alice said, Okay, Bella, come in!

Moving with caution, I rounded the little corner into our living room.

Oh, I huffed. Aw. Dad. Dont you look

Silly? Charlie interrupted.

I was thinking more like debonair.

Charlie blushed. Alice took his elbow and tugged him around into a slow spin to showcase the pale gray tux.

Now cut that out, Alice. I look like an idiot.

No one dressed by me ever looks like an idiot.

Shes right, Dad. You look fabulous! Whats the occasion?

Alice rolled her eyes. Its the final check on the fit. For both of you.

I peeled my gaze off the unusually elegant Charlie for the first time and saw the dreaded white garment bag laid carefully across the sofa.

Aaah.

Go to your happy place, Bella. It wont take long.

I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes. Keeping them shut, I stumbled my way up the stairs to my room. I stripped down to my underwear and held my arms straight out.

Youd think I was shoving bamboo splinters under your nails, Alice muttered to herself as she followed me in.

I paid no attention to her. I was in my happy place.

In my happy place, the whole wedding mess was over and done. Behind me. Already repressed and forgotten.

We were alone, just Edward and me. The setting was fuzzy and constantly in fluxit morphed from misty forest to cloud-covered city to arctic nightbecause Edward was keeping the location of our honeymoon a secret to surprise me. But I wasnt especially concerned about the where part.