Long ago, shed performed the acts on them herself, riding them in their dreams, drinking in their passion. But once shed mated with Kougar, sexual acts with other men had ceased to bring her much pleasure. Kougar was the only one shed wanted.
And she wanted him now. She hooked her arm around his neck and pressed her forehead to his jaw.
What do you need? he asked quietly, as if he knew.
The mating bond . . . She looked up.
. . . is going to do what it does. His eyes turned warm and serious. Theres little we can do to stop it. Unless Paenther and Skye get lucky in their search, our only chance of beating your Hookeye may be through reclaiming the knowledge youve lost. Im not worried about the mating bond, Ariana. Tell me what you need from me, and its yours.
They watched one another for long moments, their gazes holding one another, caressing. Connecting. She slid her hand over his healed cheek.
Strengthen me, my warrior.
A low growl of agreement sounded in his throat. Here or below?
Below. Within the circle of the pillars is where the knowledge will come to me, if it comes. That much Ive remembered. I need to be there.
All right. He brushed his cheek against her hair, a tender caress that made her chest ache.
Goddess, shed missed him. For so long shed lived with an emptiness only Kougar had ever been able to fill.
As he strode toward the lower stairs, she tightened her hold on his neck, leaned forward, and kissed his jaw, just behind the spot where his beard ended, then flicked the lobe of his ear with her tongue.
The shiver that slid through his hard warriors frame sent a flow of warm power sinking into her veins. A surprising amount given the simplicity of the touch. But shed always reacted to Kougar as to no one else. A light bite to his earlobe earned her another shiver and a low growl.
As they passed through the door and began the descent to the lower chamber, she began to sing the soft Ilina chant to seal the door behind them in case the Mage managed to break through to the upper chamber. The temples magic shouldnt allow any to pass through, but Kougar had. And the Mage were apparently far more powerful than they should be.
As Kougar carried her down the twisting steps, she slid her fingers into his hair again, watching the play of light over his strong features. I love the feel of you, she said quietly, absorbing the touch of his soft, springy hair between her fingers. I love the way you smell.
You like the smell of sweat and blood?
She smiled, marveling that she could, given the circumstances, but being in his arms made their situation seem not quite so dire. Leaning forward, she placed another kiss on his jaw.
You couldnt smell bad to me.
His hold on her tightened as he stepped off the bottom step into the chamber and she knew he worried that the temple would attack her again. He carried her across the stone floor slowly, as if they had all the time in the world, then set her down beside the pool, close enough that she could reach out and trail her fingers in the water.
Kougar knelt at her feet, his gaze drifting down her still-naked body with hot deliberation, slowly stealing the air from her lungs. He grasped her knees and lifted them, then pulled them wide, spreading her to his gaze. His fingers trailed down her calves to her ankles as he sat back on his heels, his gaze hot between her legs, heating her with eyes that had turned silver. Deep inside, she began to tremble with need and anticipation.
His grip tightened, his neck muscles cording, and she sensed he fought an inner battle. A battle for control.
Youre not going to take me. She could see it in his eyes. Not fully.
No.
Disappointment plucked at her, hurt trying to wedge its way in. Hed claimed the mating bond didnt matter, that what happened with it, happened. Clearly that wasnt true.
It occurred to her that he must fear making love to her fully would only open the bond further. That twinge of hurt disappeared, washed away in a rush of warmth as she realized what his hesitation really meant.
He feared he couldnt make love to her without his heart opening to her more.
He moved on her like a cat on prey, sliding his broad hands beneath her hips and lifting her to his mouth. Thoughts scattered, wild sensations shooting through her body as his tongue stroked her upper thighs, then moved directly between her legs to that throbbing, sensitive flesh.
As he stroked her and played with her body, she cried out, flinging her head back. Shed forgotten what a talented tongue this cat had. He stroked her nether lips inside and out, one after the other with long, languorous strokes, flicking the nub of her clitoris at the end of each one, just enough to elicit a gasp from her. Then his tongue moved, circling her clit, teasing without touching, yet driving her up all the same.
A flick of his tongue directly on the spot had her crying out, but then he returned to circling.
Kougar . . . Goddess she wanted him inside her, deep, driving. One. But it was too dangerous.
He did enter her, though not in the way she craved. His tongue slid down into her opening, deep inside, delving and fluttering and licking until she was a writhing mass of need.
Then his mouth closed over her as he tugged on her, flicking her with his tongue until she was writhing beneath him, rising, cresting. . .
She came in a screaming rush of fire and pleasure. And still it wasnt enough.
More.
His finger dove inside her, and a second, thrusting in and out in a fast, hard rhythm. A sudden pain tore through her skull, a burst of agony that radiated outward like flares of light, leaving her gasping for breath and all but blind.
Ariana. Kougars hands left her thighs, one cradling her cheek.
Her brain felt as if it were being wrenched open with a crowbar. Thoughts began to spill across her inner eye, glimpses of people shed never known and things shed never seen. Memories that werent hers.
The knowledge is coming back.
Her first awakening hadnt been painful, she remembered that, now.
Clearly, Morwun and the temple werent through making her pay.
CHAPTER 13
Kougar stripped off his pants, pushing them down over a hard, painful erection, and scooped up Ariana. His body burned with the need to claim her, but it was his hearts need to protect her that drove his actions.
What are you doing? She still held her head with one hand, though the pain blasting him through the mating bond had died considerably.
Stepping into the shallow pool, he lowered himself, cross-legged, in the middle, cradling Ariana on his lap. He groaned at the feel of her bare hip crushing his swollen cock against his body. You said you had to be within the pillars. Maybe the memories will come less violently in the water.
She tipped her head against his shoulder, her soft hair brushing his chin. I hope youre right.
He did, too. Tenderness welled as he held her against his heart. Inside, his cat paced and snarled at the feel of her pain. The cat didnt like it any more than he did. Exactly when hed stopped wanting to see her suffer for what shed done to him, he wasnt entirely sure, but he had. That piece of him that had always been hers bled to see her hurting.
His fingers slid into her hair, while his other hand stroked her hip, sliding back and forth with fingers that shook with a need to lift her, to fill her. Lily of the valley and warm, soft woman filled his senses, and he wondered at his insanity in taking off his clothes. Wet pants might have helped control the heat raging in his body. Bare flesh to bare flesh just fanned the inferno.
He slid his hand from her hip up to her breast, her beautiful skin healed now from the lightning strikes.
Ariana curved her arm around his neck. As he cupped her breast, she arched into his touch, telling him plainly that it pleased her. He kneaded the soft flesh, then stroked it, his finger and thumb twirling the hard bud of her nipple, pinching and tugging on it lightly.
Her sigh of pleasure changed abruptly to a gasp of pain, her body going rigid, her face tightening in a mask of agony.
Goddess, he hated this. He went back to stroking her hip, wanting to cause her no additional discomfort of any kind.
Kougar, she said when the worst was clearly past.
He cupped her neck, meeting that brilliant gaze. Tell me how to help you.
Pleasure me. Strengthen me. If nothing else, take my mind off it.
Pleasure her. Goddess, it was all he could do just to hold her without taking what he needed. He wasnt sure he had that kind of self-control. Not with her. Anything more, and hed find himself sinking deep into her body and joining her on that ride to ecstasy.
But he didnt want that, not at all. The more time he spent with her, the closer they got, the better he remembered why he had fallen in love with her in the first place. And the more danger he was in of doing it all over again.
A mistake he refused to make a second time.
Even if he got out of this alive, he knew better than to think a place existed for them in one anothers worlds. Ariana would always be queen to her people, their needs coming first. And he refused to be second. Nor could he honestly put her first in his own life. His loyalty was to the Feral Warriors, first and always, and to stopping the Mage who tried to free the Daemons.
Even after a thousand years, he remembered too well what a soul-transforming experience making love to her had been . . . every single time. He feared that if he made the mistake of joining with her in that way, hed never be able to walk away from her. And theyd only end up hurting one another all over again.
He wouldnt make love to her.
How in the hell was he going to give her the pleasure she needed when he was already struggling, already clinging to every ounce of control?
Goddess, help him.
He slid his hand into the water, between her legs, the springy hair of her thatch brushing his palm as he cupped her. His cock twitched and throbbed, begging for attention.
Think of something else. Anything else.
Tighes baby in danger of being born without a father. Hawke lost to the world. Humans in Feral House. The burn in his heart that was almost sure to kill him.
But it was the burn in another part of his anatomy that stole all his attention. The need to be one with the woman in his arms.
As he slid two fingers deep inside her warmth, she arched into his hand with a moan of need, ratcheting his own to the level of torture. Stripping away his control. He needed to touch her, to taste her with a desperation that had his body quaking. He lifted her, dipping his head to take one sweet breast into his mouth. As he suckled her, he shoved his fingers in and out of her, meeting the hard thrust of her hips, stirring the water in the small pool until it lapped frantically, spilling over the edges onto the stone floor.
Ariana cried out, arching and stiffening in such a way that he thought she was in pain but for the intense, rhythmic clenching of her inner muscles around his fingers. When her eyes opened, he realized shed gotten another memory download right in the middle of her climax.
Gasping, she straightened on his lap, and he cupped her jaw.
How much have you learned?
Im not sure. Her voice was tight, breathless. Its a jumble of pictures and thoughts, literally thousands of memories in no particular order. She shook her head, then winced at the movement. I dont know how I could have missed so much that had been a part of me.
She sat up, sliding her arms around his neck, holding him. And he held her tight against him in return as the tension caused by the pain slowly eased out of her. He felt a small sweet kiss on his shoulder blade a moment before she lifted her head and pressed her lips against his neck in a kiss of erotic sweetness. His hands tightened around her as she kissed him again and again, her mouth trailing down his neck, across his shoulder, down his arm to the edge of his Feral armband, then slowly back up again.
With each touch of her lips, she dissolved a little more of his control until his hands were gripping her too tightly, moving over her back and hip. Shaking from the force of his need to take over and push himself deep inside her heat.
Even as he struggled to maintain control, she slid her hand between them, down over his hard, throbbing erection. The brush of her fingers across the slit in its head nearly made him come. Goddess, how much more of this could he take?
Turning her hand, she trailed her fingers down the length of him and back up again. With a groan, he arched into her touch, shaking with a need as rare as it was terrible. He refused to take her, yet never had he wanted . . . needed . . . anything more. Her fingers closed tight around his length, sliding up and down with firmer and firmer strokes, splashing the water between them.
His control shredded. He cupped the back of her head and slammed his mouth against hers, plunging his tongue between her lips, drawing a groan of need and carnal pleasure from her throat. While he plundered her mouth, she released him to slide lower, her fingers slipping between his loosely parted legs to trail across the sensitive skin behind his balls. As her knuckles brushed his tight, hard sac, fire speared into his cock, hardening him nearly beyond bearing. Turning her hand, she gripped his balls, and he knew there was nothing hed ever enjoyed more in this world than the exquisite pleasure of Arianas hands on his body.
She returned to his cock, stroking him with gentle roughness until he felt his eyes roll back in his head. With shallow, ragged breaths, the pulse careening in his veins, he kissed her, hotly, deeply, as her hand drove him up. And up.
Kougars control snapped as suddenly and completely as an overstretched rubber band. All the reasons for not joining with her that had been rioting in his mind fled. All thoughts disappeared but one. Without gentleness, without finesse, he pulled back from her, grabbed her around the waist, and lifted her.
I need you, Ariana. Now.
Without objection, she swung one leg wide to straddle his hips. Gripping his shoulders, she spread her thighs to take him into her wet and ready body.
With a single, desperate thrust, Kougar drove into her, into heaven. The feel of her tight and hot around him sent him careening over the edge. Tilting back his head, he gave a feral roar of pleasure, of rightness, while inside something shifted, clicking into place.
Gripping her silken hips, he drove into her over and over, harder and harder, coming fast, with a guttural cry.
Not enough. Not nearly enough. Need burned inside him, crazed and out of control. A need that hadnt abated in a thousand years.
He lifted her off him. I need you again.
Yes, Kougar. Yes.
Flipping her onto her hands and knees in the water, he gripped her hips, slid his cock between her thighs, and took her from behind, his own hips slamming against her sweet ass as he drove deeper and deeper.
Ariana cried out with her release, her inner muscles contracting, milking him to a second roaring climax. And still it wasnt enough.
Lifting her, he carried her out of the water, laid her on the floor beside the pool, and fell on her, shoving deep inside her as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her hands tight around his neck as if she never meant to let him go. As if this joining was forever.
As he drove deep inside her, the haze of insanity lifted, and he slowed his thrusts, disturbed by the harsh way in which hed been taking her.
Did I hurt you? His voice, rough as sandpaper, hardly sounded like his own.
No. She lifted her gaze to his, bright eyes shining with the brilliance of blue diamonds, heat in their depths. And something more. Something warm and tender that clutched at his heart, making it ache and swell, nearly obliterating the burn of the poison. Never.
He kissed her as he drove into her with long, sensual strokes, unwilling to be parted from her in any way but feeling a sudden driving need to give instead of take. Inside, his cat gave a roar of deep satisfaction.
She came with a cry, her inner muscles clutching him tight, and he followed her in an explosion of raw heat and tenderness.
Slowly, his pounding heart calmed, his breathing returning to normal. As he lay atop her soft curves, his hips nestled within the cradle of hers, his body buried deep within hers, he felt right for the first time in centuries. Whole, despite the acid shredding his heart. As if this was all hed needed. She was all hed needed. If he could have frozen time and remained one with this woman for all eternity, hed have done so.
The sharpness of the longing rocked him, propelling him up and off her, shattering the perfection of the moment. He turned and strode away, needing distance, struggling for perspective.
He could blame his colossal loss of control on his fucked-up emotions, but that was only a small part of the truth. Hed never had much control when it came to Ariana. From the moment hed met her, shed turned his world on end, and it had never righted.
In the aching, throbbing depths of his heart he knew the truth hed been trying to ignore. Whether she was dead or alive, whether he kept his distance from her or made love to her until they were both breathless from exhaustion, he would never be able to go back to being the man hed been before hed known her. All he could do was hope that they survived the next days, and that when this was over, and theyd gone their separate ways, this ungodly need for her would dim to the point he could think of something, anything, else.
CHAPTER 14
Ariana sat on the cool lip of the pool deep beneath the Temple of the Queens and watched Kougar as he paced away from her, pulling on what was left of his pants, his powerful body gleaming, his back rigid with a tension that wouldnt normally be there after the powerful release theyd just shared. In that release, the mating bond had opened almost completely. It still looked like hell, tarnished and shadowed, but no longer was it a shrunken, mangled mess.
And the poison was flowing freely.
The most frightening thing was, she didnt know what the poison was doing. With Hookeyes ability, he could be setting any kind of time bomb inside them, and they wouldnt know until it was too late.
Despite all that, she felt stronger than she had in years, in centuries. Stronger than she had in a millennium. Pleasure strengthened her, but what shed felt in Kougars arms went so far beyond mere pleasure as to be atomic in strength. She felt . . . reborn. Renewed.
Whole.
But as she watched him pace, her heart at once throbbed with the rightness of him with her again, and ached with the knowledge that they werent right together at all. And never really had been. Even in those days when theyd been mated, she hadnt been entirely happy. At times, yes. When Kougar was with her, usually. The moment hed touched her shed forgotten everything but her joy in himthe love in his eyes and the gentle power of his body as he brought her to climax over and over again.
But those times theyd been together had been all too few. Even when they were together, there had been a distance between them shed never been able to fully breach. Hed given her a part of himself, but never all. Never anything approaching all.
Right from the beginning, things had been difficult between them. Melisandes prejudice against the Therians and Ferals had infected her ranks long, long ago, her own attitude toward the shifters formed in the crucible of her friends bitterness. So when shed found herself attracted to the Chief of the Ferals, shed been close to horrified.
The sparks had flown between them from the start, their courtship more battle than wooing. But in the end, shed let her judgment be clouded by the excitement shed found in his arms. And by his own insistence that they were fated to be together, that resisting him was useless. By that point, she hadnt wanted to resist. Shed wanted only to revel in the joy of his rare, earth-shattering smiles, and bask in the pleasure shed felt beneath his hands.
Theyd been joined together deep in the Ferals ritual cave, surrounded by flaming torches and two dozen naked, antagonistic shape-shifters whod watched coldly as Kougar had taken her, claiming her in a ritual of blood and sex, forming what should have been an unbreakable cord joining them mind and bodythe mating bond. Though Kougar had invited her own maidens to witness the ritual and join in the accompanying feast, only Melisande had been there and, unbeknownst to Ariana, woven magic to keep the mating bond from binding fully.
Even when theyd been married, shed felt marginalized in Kougars life. A piece of his world, but only a piece. But she had loved him. Desperately, shed loved him. With all that had come afterthe grief and guilt and anger, then later, the bitter, awful lonelinessshed forgotten just how much shed loved him.
And how easy it would be to fall under his spell all over again. But never again would she sacrifice the well-being of her maidens for a man. Any man.
Kougar turned back to face her, his expression closed, shuttered once more. Have you remembered anything more?
Ariana lifted a hand to brush her damp hair from her face. No. She tapped her head. Its like a dust storm in here. Itll take time for the dust to settle before I can see what blew in.
A strange chill made her shiver.
Kougar stepped toward her. Whats the matter?
Nothing. But as a vision rose in her head, she stiffened. The eyes. Hookeyes eyes rose in her mind as they had when Kougar removed her moonstones, as they had all those times a millennium ago. In those eyes, she saw determination and triumph. And a raw cruelty she didnt remember from before.
Her pulse began to race with the frantic need to fight or flee, when she could do neither. She tried to close her mind to him, tried to force him away, but he simply watched her with cruel amusement as the chills grew worse.
Kougar was beside her, his hands grasping her shoulders. Ariana?
Hookeye. And suddenly the eyes were gone. The shivers subsided, and she could breathe again. He was in my head. I could see his eyes. Her hand fumbled for her wrist, her fingers sliding over the moonstone-encrusted cuff. Im still wearing the moonstones. How is he seeing me?
Did he do anything?
No. At least, I dont think so. Her gaze met Kougars. Hes getting stronger.
That bastard is going to die. Kougars hands squeezed her shoulders. Sooner or later, Im going to kill him.
Were going to kill him. But first we have to find him. She frowned. I wonder . . .
What?
Maybe I could figure out where he is by walking in his dreams. The thought of meeting that male face-to-face, in any reality, made her skin crawl.
Kougar watched her thoughtfully. He could be anywhere. And you dont even know who he is.
No. But were connected, though goddess only knows what kind of connection I have with that bastard.
Kougar stroked her head. Once, long ago, you offered to take me with you into anothers dreams. Can you still do that?
Perhaps. The thought of Kougar at her side as she faced the Mage calmed her uneasiness. And increased it. Hes powerful, Kougar. Youve said yourself that the Mage have dark magic, dangerous magic. We dont know what he can do.
Its just a dream.
She lifted an eyebrow. Ive been in your dreams, Feral. You know better than that.
His eyes heated, and she knew he was remembering just how real some of those very carnal dream visits theyd once shared had been.
She rubbed her hands together, feeling chilled again. To walk in Hookeyes dreams, she had to reach out to him, to find him through the unholy connection hed formed with her. And she had no idea how to do that. Would he see her eyes rising in his mind as she saw his?
As if reading her thoughts, Kougar took her hand, squeezing gently.
With a deep breath and a nod, she closed her eyes and concentrated on Hookeye, on the poison she could almost see seeping into the mating bond, then followed its trail into total darkness, a wide, empty void.
In an instant, everything changed, and she was tumbling into a blinding chaos and just as suddenly, thrown back out again, Hookeyes furious eyes blazing at her in her mind.
Ariana! Kougars voice sounded beside her, but all she could see were the eyes, copper-ringed Mage eyes glaring into hers.
She was trembling, on the edge of panic, perspiration running down her neck. Her pulse thrummed in her veins as the hated eyes bored into her.
Hed pushed her away. Somehow, she had to do the same.
Concentrating, she imagined shoving him back. For a moment, the eyes dimmed, then popped back into focus, brighter and angrier than before.
No.
This time, she didnt shove. She reached deep, digging up the hatred and grief for all hed caused her and throwing it at him in a single powerful blast of pure fury.
A moment later, the eyes were gone. I did it. The breath shuddered out of her as Kougar pulled her against him.
What happened?
Im not sure. But she told him what she could, about the eyes and darkness, and that bright chaos. I can almost still see it. She met his gaze. I think its his consciousness. And I think Im going to know when he falls asleep.
Good.
We could be here a long time, Kougar. You might as well get some sleep. Ill wake you when its time. Pain bolted through her mind, another rush of new memories swamping the first.
Her hands went to her aching head. Kougars warm knuckles stroked her cheek.
Im okay, she said. Sleep.
Later. Instead, he took her hand and led her to one of the pillars, sat and drew her down beside him. Gently, he pulled her against him, cradling her head against his chest until the pain finally slid away.
For a long time, they sat like that, quietly, his hand stroking her head, his fingers twirling her hair.
Tell me about that day, he said finally. I want to know what happened after you left me on the battlefield. I need to know.
She stiffened, pulling out of his grasp to sit beside him, but his hand followed her, his palm stroking her back in long, gentle strokes, easing the tension his words had caused.
Part of her didnt want to talk about it. Honestly, she wasnt even sure what to tell him.
I thought we were dealing with dark spirit. She glanced at him, seeing a cautious warmth in the eyes that had blazed with such heat a short while ago. And glimmers of a pain centuries old.
She owed him this. He deserved an explanation, if she could figure out how to give him one.
They were dying, Kougar. And not just a few. All of them. I returned to the Crystal Realm to find Angelique crazed with evil and in her death throes. She was the first, but as her life cord tore from mine, so did others. Dozens of others. And the maidens around me, maidens whod been in the Crystal Realm with me, began to show signs of the same darkness. You cant imagine . . .
His hand lifted to the back of her head, stroking, easing her back from those terrible memories.
For the first time, I saw the poison in the life cords and how it was flowing into my maidens through me. And I saw it in the mating bond. It was then that Melisande admitted inserting a Mage potion into the bond. I began to suspect the Mage with the hookeye was to blame, that this was all a Mage attack. My maidens were dying around me, and I feared you were about to die, too. Melisande might have caused the vehicle of our destruction, but shed also given me the means to save you. I severed the bond without a second thought, then turned to trying to save those of my maidens that I could.
She leaned back, Kougars arm slipping around her waist as she rested her head back against his shoulder. The only ones I managed to save were those in the Crystal Realm. And not all of them. Many more died when I turned to mist, before I reclaimed the poison. The palace had never been so silent. I thought I was too late. None of them were moving. All lay on the ground as if dead. Never have I heard such terrible silence.
Finally, those whod survived turned to mist, and I knew theyd live. But they didnt move. They didnt waken. I tried to help them, to heal them. I tried to strengthen them through pleasure, singing to them until my voice was hoarse. Nothing helped. Id never comprehended what true solitude really meant. It was awful.