That smile flitted across her face again, pleasing him more than it should. Starved.
Wulfe pulled out his cell phone and speed-dialed Kara. I have a starving guest down here. Lyon said you might have a tray with Natalies name on it?
Coming right up. Karas cheery voice carried to him through the phone. Or down, I guess I should say. Ill be right there, Wulfe.
A few minutes later, Kara appeared with a tray laden with a full three-course mealsalad, ham, potatoes, and a sweet-smelling cherry cobbler that had been sending their stomachs into wild tumbles of hunger all morning. Kara left, and Natalie dug into the salad as if she was indeed about to expire from lack of food.
He wished he could let her out of her cage for a while when she was finished eating. She had to be sick and tired of being locked up. A walk through the woods came to mind, but it was the middle of the day, and he wasnt kidding when hed told her they were all over the news. Human law enforcement had found the bodies of Natalies three friends where the Ferals had left them, more than a mile from the actual site of their deaths. Theyd left the Mage bodies on the field of battle, warding the area against human senses for the few days it took the earth to reclaim them. Immortal bodies might live centuries, but they decayed to dust quickly.
Can you shift into anything you want? Natalie asked when shed clearly taken the edge off her hunger.
No. He didnt elaborate.
Her pretty mouth twisted. The less I know, the better, right? Its hard not asking questions when theres so much I want to know. Her eyes moved over his face as if studying his scarring. You intrigue me, she said quietly.
He turned away, feeling like hed just been shoved under a microscope. Finish eating, he said gruffly.
When she had, he took her tray, then motioned for her to stand. She was tall for a woman, probably close to six feet, though he still towered over her by over a foot. She might be slender, but she was no stick-thin model. The woman had curves. His mans eye noticed, but his body paid little attention. His mate, Beatrice, the Ferals previous Radiant, had been dead only a few months. And while their mating had never been what hed hoped for, hed loved her. And the severing of their mating bond had ruined him in ways he was still trying to figure out.
Even if he were whole and normal, it wouldnt matter. The woman standing in front of him wore another mans ring. Anothers mark.
Lets try this again.
Calm gray eyes met his. To clear my memories?
Yes. He reached for her jaw, but she touched his hand.
Wait. In case this works, I just wanted to say thank you. To you and your friends. I know you had as much reason to want those things dead as we did, but I overheard you talking out there. I know we saw things we shouldnt have and that our lives hung in the balance for a while. Thank you for saving us.
He nodded, meeting her gaze, yet oddly reluctant to continue. Once he captured her memories, hed have to knock her out and take her back, and hed finally just gotten a chance to talk to her again. Whatever her reason for not being put off by his looks, it was a novel experience he wasnt quite ready to end.
His gaze fell to that jagged cut on her cheek, his thumb lifting to trace it lightly.
Natalie flinched.
Wulfe jerked his thumb back. It still hurts.
Not too much.
Which was a blatant lie.
Her brows drew down. How bad does it look?
Not as bad as mine.
A genuine laugh escaped her throat, utterly delighting him. She caught herself with a groan, though wry humor continued to light her eyes and tug at her mouth. Im sorry, but that wasnt quite the reassurance I was looking for.
He grinned at her, amazed at how easy she was to be with.
To his surprise, she lifted her hand, almost touching his face, before lowering it again. As she did, her smile died, her expression sobering. Im sorry for all you must have suffered.
He grunted. It was a long time ago. And the suffering hadnt been his. Not until later. Much later.
Without thinking too much about what he was doing, he made a decision. Hold still. This may be uncomfortable for a moment, but I wont hurt you. When her eyes gave him the go-ahead, he said, Close your eyes.
She hesitated only a moment before doing as he asked. He opened his hand, covering her wound, and half her face, with his palm.
What are you doing? she asked quietly.
Beneath his palm, her heart beat, throbbing beneath the surface of her skin. Once more, her scent wrapped around him like a warm summer breeze.
Im something of a healer. Sometimes. His own cheek began to burn and throb with surprising misery. How did humans stand the pain that took so long to go away? How do you feel?
The pains gone. Her voice held a note of wonder.
Lifting his hand, he peered at her cheekbone with keen satisfaction. The wound was gone completely now, her cheek unblemished.
She opened her eyes, blinking. How did you . . . ? Her gaze locked onto his cheek, to the throbbing, aching wound he knew to be there, now. Her hand flew to her own cheek, then rubbed, as if seeking . . . anything.
What have you done?
Wulfe shrugged. Whats one more?
But he saw no gratitude in her eyes, only a keen dismay. No, no, no. Her brows knit. She grabbed his face between her hands without fear, staring at him, at the cut that would mark him as all the others had. To his amazement, her fingers slid gently over his scarred cheeks. You took it.
Her voice was breathless, stunned. She stared up at him, pain in her eyes. Why?
He frowned, confused by her reaction. The last thing hed meant to do was upset her. But the truth was, he didnt have an answer. He wasnt sure why hed done it. Maybe he just didnt like seeing her suffer when he could help. Or maybe he hadnt liked the sight of that ugly scar on her pretty face.
What difference did it make? Women were so damn hard to please.
He turned away, breaking her soft hold on him and ending the discussion. Lie down. The words came out harsher than hed meant them to.
But when he turned back to her, she was still standing where hed left her, still staring at him. Although her brows were still drawn, her eyes no longer flashed with pain but something infinitely softer.
Will you heal?
Of course.
But itll scar you.
Like I said, whats one more?
Plenty. The softness in her eyes deepened, a fine film of moisture making them shine like diamonds. That may have been the most unselfish thing anyones ever done for me. And I dont even know your name.
Im called Wulfe.
Understanding lit her gaze, the memory of watching him shift, he was certain. I suppose that makes sense. Thank you, Wulfe.
He nodded, his jaw tight. Then he slid his hand to her neck and pressed beneath her ear, feeling a need to close those eyes that saw too much. As she fell unconscious, he caught her, then laid her down carefully on one of the pallets someone had brought down for the prisoners.
Straightening, he stared down at her, clenching his jaw at her now-unblemished beauty.
With a burst of self-disgust, he turned away.
CHAPTER 9
Ariana woke suddenly, her body tensing at the feel of warm flesh beneath her cheek until she caught the wonderful, familiar scent. Kougars. Her head was on his shoulder, one of his arms gripped tight around her waist, his bare chest rising and falling in a deep, even rhythm, telling her he was fast asleep.
For an achingly sweet moment, her world felt as if it had righted itself. As if the nightmare of the past millennium was nothing more than a dream, and life was as it had always been meant to be. With her waking in Kougars arms.
Ariana jerked. Sweet goddess, what was she doing in his arms? It was the last place she needed to be. He was supposed to be hating her, not holding her!
Her heart at once melted and squeezed with fear as she slipped free of his hold and sat up. With an unintelligible murmur, Kougar rolled onto his side away from her.
Raking her hair back from her face with both hands, she turned inward and examined the mating bond. Dammit, dammit. As she feared, it had begun to unkink. It still looked mangled and sunken in on itself, but the poison was beginning to trickle through steadily.
Not good, not good, not good. Yet what could she do about it? Shed known this would happen if he found out the truththat shed severed the mating bond to save him. Sooner or later, hed forgive her the rest. And once he did, the poison would begin to flow freely.
Pulling her knees up, she curled her arms around them. It was too late to try to arrest the opening of the mating bond. Their only chance now, as far as she could see, was for the Ferals and their Mage allies to figure out who Hookeye was and locate him. Maybe they really could. Maybe it would work. But shed long, long ago quit believing in miracles. And this situation would take a big one.
Despair filled the room as she dipped her head and rested her chin on her updrawn knees. She hated being forced to let others take the lead in her battles; but, unable to turn to mist, shed long ago been relegated to the sidelines. Then again, she was the one with her finger in the dike. If she allowed the floodwaters, or in this case the poison, to flow, all would die. Not the sidelines, perhaps, but the center, with all those around trying to help her hold on, trying to find a way to destroy the poison before she could no longer hold back the killing tide.
Her life hadnt been her own to control in a very, very long time. Even now . . .
She needed to call the hospital and let them know she wouldnt be in for a few days. There was a good chance she wouldnt be back at all. If the Ferals attempt to locate Hookeye failed, if Kougar died, there would no longer be a reason for her to remain close to Feral House. Once the mating bond was truly, permanently severed, she could go anywhereexcept home to the Crystal Realm.
For centuries, her existence had been a stasis of hiding and survival, searching for an answer that never came, waiting for Melisande to find the Mage at the heart of it all. In the few short days since Kougar had charged back into her life, hed turned every single aspect of her existence end over end until she didnt know what to think, what to feel.
She wanted to be furious with him for endangering her people all over again, but she was beginning to believe the Ferals genuinely meant to help her, even if only to save their own. For the first time in forever, a flicker of hope had sparked, a rare, precious feeling that she was almost afraid to acknowledge, knowing it could be snuffed out again between one breath and the next.
If the Ferals really did succeed in finding the Mage behind the attacks, if by some miracle, she found herself free of the poison? The thought tantalized. The first thing shed do was return home and take up the mantle of queen-in-residence once more. It was all shed wanted for a thousand years.
She turned to Kougar, to his strong, beloved back, rising and falling in sleep. No, being queen wasnt all she wanted. But shed been a fool to think she could be both queen and wife. Her maidens should have been her top priority all those years ago . . . her only priority. If they had been, theyd still be alive.
That was a mistake she couldnt make a second time, no matter how much her heart ached for the man at her side.
On a sigh, she turned away from him, her gaze sliding over his room. Hed closed the drapes after shed fallen asleep, and sunlight now fanned out from the edges of the window, thin rays escaping the darkening curtains. It was the kind of room she would expect of Kougar, she realized. Clean, neat, controlled. If she ignored the splintered chair.
The bed on which she sat was a large, mahogany four-poster, beautifully carved, probably by hand. The bedside lamp, a heavy jewel-encrusted brass. Kougar had always enjoyed fine things. Even a thousand years ago when there was so much less to choose from, hed carried intricately carved knives and worn cloaks with silk linings.
And hed been incredibly generous to herplying her with gifts of beauty that hed known would please her Ilinas heart. Jewelry from exotic traders, gowns of the finest velvet. And flowers. Where hed found them, shed never been certain, but hed rarely come to her without flowers of some kind, even if all hed been able to find was a sprig of honeysuckle.
Shed always loved flowers, especially in those days, when shed spent so much time in the Crystal Realm, where nothing grew. And hed known it.
On the walls of his room hung more paintings, mostly centuries-old landscapes. Though three of his walls were tan, the one before her was a vibrant blue. The color of the summer sky, neon bright. Almost the exact shade of her eyes.
Beside her, Kougar made a sound deep in his throat, a low growl as he rolled onto his back. His body had turned rigid with tension, his arm muscles flexing, his hand fisting against his hip.
He was dreaming, and it wasnt a happy dream.
She lifted her hand, intending to stroke his shoulder and soothe him, only to pull up. What demons did he wrestle in his sleep? Perhaps she should find out. A soft smile tugged at her mouth. It had been so long since shed joined him in one of his dreams.
Ariana closed her eyes, calmed her mind, and stepped into his dream, an ability all Ilinas possessed. She expected to find herself a spectator of some Feral battle. Instead, she blinked with confusion as she realized she was standing inside her own cabin hundreds of years ago, the night three human trappers stumbled upon it . . . and her. The coarse men had thought to slake their physical urges on an unwilling woman, and she watched as her younger self fought off two of the men at once with well-aimed kicks.
She frowned at the nonsensical sight. This was supposed to be Kougars dream. Instead, she and Kougar both stood in the middle of one of her own memories. Dressed in the dark sleep pants he wore in the bed beside her, he passed through the center of the action like a ghost trying to fight off her attackers. They, of course, didnt even know he was there.
Kougar.
His gaze jerked to her, then to her dream self and back again, the tension leaching from his body as understanding lit his eyes.
Its a dream, he muttered, his voice barely audible over the grunts of the men and the snap of bone as her dream self broke one of her attackers kneecaps.
The man yelled, crashing into the sole chair in the tiny cabin, splintering it. Goddess, shed been furious about losing that chair. It had taken her weeks to make it.
Her gaze took in the small windowless space, the rough-hewn logs infilled with mud, the down pallet that had been her bed, now destroyed, the feathers floating in the glow from the fire. The scent of smoke and sweat and unwashed bodies choked the air.
Kougar crossed to her, pulling her tight against him with a shudder of relief. My fists kept going right through them. I was beginning to think Id died. His gaze skimmed her nakedness. Walking in my dreams?
I could tell you were having a bad one. I thought Id take a look. Her brow furrowed. But this isnt your dream.
This isnt real.
No, but it happened. Its my memory.
His frown deepened as together they watched her fight off her assailants with sweeping kicks and elbows to the throats and noses. She might have been a woman alone, but shed been as strong as any human male, thanks to her immortal blood, with nearly seven centuries of hand-to-hand combat experience by that point.
When did this happen?
Late 1600s, in the woods about forty miles west of Feral House.
You lived nearby even then?
She met his gaze. Ive always lived near you. I discovered early on that even though our mating bond was severed, there was still a connection. Being near you strengthened me. Ive had to be careful to stay out of the paths of the Mage and Therians, but Ive never been far away.
The frown didnt leave his face. How is it possible Im seeing your memory?
I dont know.
Her dream self pulled a knife out of her boot and slid it through the neck of one of her assailants. The trapper collapsed onto the floor.
Good gir . . .
Kougar disappeared from beside her, leaving her alone to watch and remember a night that had repeated itself too many times. Shed killed all three men, as she had numerous others over the centuriesmen whod thought any unprotected woman fair game. A few times, early on, shed been overpowered and knocked too senseless to stop the attacks. But shed killed her attackers afterward and learned to fight them off.
Watching her younger self, the excruciating loneliness of those days came rushing back. How many nights had she lain on that pallet wishing for Kougars strong arms around her?
Too many to count.
She closed her eyes, clearing her mind even as the ancient battle raged around her, and followed her mate, landing in a room filled with screams and the scent of blood.
Like before, she found Kougar standing in the midst of another of her memories, watching her assist the Countess de Frottier as she attempted to birth her second son. Theyd traveled back in time several hundred years, to the 1300s. The Ferals had been living in France at the time.
The countesss bedchamber within the castle was large but cold despite the fire burning brightly in the hearth. The velvet bed curtains had been flung wide as two aging handmaids tended her, one mopping her mistresss sweat- and tear-drenched face while the other held her hand, tethered by the countesss punishing grip.
Kougar saw her and came to stand beside her as another of the womans screams rent the air, sharp and agonized. Ariana felt the poison inside her leap with pleasure at the womans misery even as her dream self closed her eyes, feeling the same.
Youre feeding on her pain, Kougar said, his voice cool as he stared at her other self.
I was then, and I am now. Midwifery always brings pain, but usually joy as well. This time there was little of the latter. She glanced at him, raising her voice over the womans rising screams. The poison possesses a dark hunger, Kougar. When it gets too hungry, it threatens to overpower me. So I serve its needs without hurting others. Midwifery has been the perfect solutionjoy and pain. And the knowledge I was doing good in the world. Im not a monster, whatever you want to believe. Ive done the best I could with the hand I was dealt.
His gaze thawed, but he said nothing as he turned back to the scene on the bed.
The smell of blood grew stronger, the dark stain spreading on the sheets. Shes hemorrhaging. She wont last much longer.
And the babe?
Both died. There was nothing I could do. But she felt again the helplessness shed felt that night. Needing to shut out the sight of the countesss agony, she turned fully to Kougar. Why are you dreaming my memories?
He glanced at her with a shake of his head. I dont know. Every time Ive closed my eyes the past few days, Ive dreamed like this, watching you. Even before I saw you again. I figured it was that damned mating bond.
Im sure its tied to the mating bond, but I still dont understand why . . .
He was gone.
With a sigh, she turned toward the young countess, who was in her last hours of life. Im sorry, Ariana murmured, then followed Kougar into a glade she remembered with soft joya sunlit glade painted with a profusion of wildflowers.
Kougar was waiting for her, his expression at once pensive and wry. This is one weird-ass dream.
Are you ready for it to end? I can wake you at any time.
Soft laughter, her laughter, carried from behind them, and they turned as one.
Its us, he murmured. A thousand years ago.
Dressed in one of the simple belted gowns of the day, she stood holding an armful of wildflowers. With a grin, the Kougar of old picked more and more, pressing them into her arms as her laughter grew. Soft love on his face, he crushed her and the flowers to him, kissing her with a fierce and tender passion.
Arianas chest ached as she watched them as theyd once been, so in love.
She tore her gaze away to find Kougar watching her, not their younger selves. With a lift of his hand, he stroked her face, his eyes warm as the sun, yet shadowed by a deep sadness.
If only things had been different.
Kougars fingers slid to the back of her neck, and he leaned down to place a soft kiss on her mouth, his lips warm and sweet, the kiss surprisingly tender. Slowly, he pulled back, tracing her cheek with his thumb, the longing she felt to return to those long-lost days mirrored in his eyes. Pulling her against him, he held her as together they watched their much younger selves slowly disrobe and join in a straining tumble of need and love.
Inside, she felt the mating bond creak and groan as it untwisted a little more.
Kougar . . . But as she started to pull back, he disappeared from her arms.
She stood alone in the sunny glade, the summer warmth beating down on her naked flesh despite the fact she wasnt really there. Her gaze slid over the pair in the grass, watching Kougar drive into her body with long, slow strokes, their gazes locked in a powerful vise of love.
If they could hear her, if she could walk over there, interrupt their lovemaking, and warn them of the future, what would she say? At that point, the damage was already done, the poison already sewn into their mating bond, waiting to attack.
What would she say? What would have happened if shed taken another path after that attack and run straight to Kougar for help?
Shed never know.
With a shake of her head, she locked on to him and followed, materializing in a place, for once, she didnt remember.
Had he finally left her memories and entered a real dream?
Kougar reached for her, taking her hand in a room of some sort, the walls intricately carved, but plain stone and windowless, the ceiling high. It reminded her of a cave. Or a temple.
In the middle of the room, thick stone pillars circled what appeared to be a pool of water. The darkness was broken only by the flickering flames of small fires set in stone pots and placed between each pair of pillars, the fire casting eerie shadows on the walls.
Kougars hand squeezed hers. What is this place?
I dont know. The carving reminded her of the earthbound Temple of the Queens, the Ilinas primary home before the attacks that had forced them into the clouds and the Crystal Realm. But the temples chambers were decorated with beautiful inlays of gold and jewels, not simple stone.
Ariana shook her head. This has to be a real dream. Its not one of my memories. Ive never been here before.
Kougars gaze jerked to hers. Then whos that?
She followed the direction he pointed, sliding away from him to peer around the pillar that blocked her view of whatever . . . or whoever . . . he was looking at. A woman. In a soft white gossamer gown, she knelt beside one of the stone pots on the other side of the pool and lit it.
Chills danced over her flesh as she stared at the woman. At herself. As she watched, the woman began walking slowly around the pillars, chanting softly in the ancient Ilina tongue. A prayer to the queens of old.
A prayer Ariana had never heard before.
I like the gown, Kougar said. His warm hand touched her shoulder, then gripped tighter. Youre shaking. Whats the matter?
She stared at her other self. I dont remember this place. I dont know the prayer shes saying. I dont remember.
Its been a long time.
No, she said sharply. We dont forget. Ilinas never forget anything. Our brains dont work that way.
How could she have forgotten so much? The place, the chant. The very fact that shed once been there.
Her heart began to race with the implications. She swung to Kougar. Ilinas are born knowing much of what well need to know in life. She was starting to feel light-headed and sick to her stomach. Upon my awakening, I received the knowledge of the ancient queens. All the spells, all the magic, all the memories. It was . . . downloaded . . . right into my head. Everything that had been learned. Everything the race needed to know to continue.
He watched her sharply. You never told me this.
We didnt do a lot of talking in those days, did we? She lifted her hands, raking her hair back from her face. How many times did Brielle ask me if there wasnt something in the old knowledge that could help us? Over and over I assured her there wasnt. If there had been, Id have remembered.
She stared at him, understanding like a blade to the heart. This is Hookeyes doing. The attack . . . the poison . . . was more insidious than Id ever imagined. How much have I forgotten?
Kougar turned her to face him, his grip tight on her shoulders. If the poison was designed to make you forget, then there were things Hookeye didnt want you to remember. You have to get that knowledge back.
She shook her head. I dont think I can.
Olivia paused in Karas doorway. As the Radiant, Kara had her own palatial bedroom on the second floor, though from what Olivia was coming to understand, she slept in Lyons room. The Radiants bedroom had become the unofficial hangout of the Feral wives.
Olivia hesitated. Delaney and Kara were both sitting in the middle of the huge bed, Delaney crying, Kara offering comfort. And Olivia, Jags mate for only a couple of days, was still too new to the sisterhood to feel comfortable walking in on a private moment. But before she could decide whether or not to turn away, Kara glanced up and saw her, a look of welcome blooming on her face.
Hi, Olivia.
Am I interrupting?
Not at all. In fact, I was just getting ready to come find you. Though her expression was grave, an odd, out-of-place smile played at her mouth.
Delaney wiped her damp cheeks with her hands, the same odd expression on her face. Clearly the worst hadnt happened, yetthat Delaney had ceased being able to feel Tighe through their mating bond. He was still alive.
Kara wrinkled her nose. Were Therian-knowledge challenged.
Delaney made a sound that was almost a laugh, but when her gaze met Olivias, her eyes gleamed like smoky brown topaz. How does a Therian know . . . if shes pregnant?
Olivia stared at Delaney, her mouth dropping open. You?
Delaney nodded.
Kara leaned forward. Will a human pregnancy test work? I mean, she used to be human. What about a blood test?
Olivia shook her head, understanding the strange expressions on the womens faces. Such joy mixed with the terrible knowledge that the fathers life hung in the balance. Theres no need for a test. She looked at Delaney. You already know. Within a few weeks of conception, a Therian mother always knows. She sank down on the bed beside Delaney. You know.
Delaneys mouth compressed, her eyes brimming with a damp wealth of joy and sorrow. Yes. A little boy. I know. A tear escaped and started to roll down her cheek. Tighe knows.
Through the mating bond?
She nodded, the tears running faster. The moment I felt my son, I felt Tighes wonder, his absolute euphoria. Moments later, both dissolved in devastation. She choked on a sob. He doesnt think hes ever going to see him.
Delaney shot off the bed, pacing to the window, a tense bundle of nerves. I cant stand this waiting, this feeling him die. She whirled back to the two women, dashing away the tears running down her cheeks. Im going back to Harpers Ferry. I know hes not actually there, but I feel like he is. And if he dies . . .
The field where the vortex had opened was almost certainly the place his body would be spit out.
There was nothing any of them could do but hope the Ferals found that Mage, Hookeye, and a cure for the poison that would allow Queen Ariana to save Hawke and Tighe. While there was still time.
Awake again, Kougar dressed quickly, his mind spinning from all hed seen, from all hed learned. His blood raced with the possibilities. Almost as quickly as Ariana announced there was no way to reclaim the ancient memories, shed backpedaled, realizing she no longer knew what was and wasnt possible.
And he was hoping this was the miracle theyd prayed for, that within those lost memories lay the answer to saving Hawke, Tighe, and the Ilinas. And himself.
I need to go to the Crystal Realm. Ariana pulled her jeans over her hips and zipped them up. I have to talk to Mel and Brie.
Call them here. To the backyard. I want Lyon to hear this, too.