Delaney stiffened. There has to be something you can do. Youre immortal. Supermen.
Lyon shook his head slowly. Im sorry.
Tighe was silent. His body still. What about D? He asked finally. Is she okay?
As far as we can tell. The Shamans knowledge is of Mage magic, not Daemon. But she seems to be okay. Lyons gaze swung to Delaney. To her surprise, he came to her, put his hands on her shoulders, and kissed her temple. He pulled back and met her gaze with eyes breaking with pain. Thank you for giving him back to us.
His unspoken, for now hung in the air.
Delaney nodded, fighting back tears of her own. She wanted to rail at him for giving up, but she could see the pain in his eyes and knew hed be doing something if he could.
Is there anything I can do? Tighe asked his chief.
Lyon shook his head slowly. Kougar and Hawke are searching for any ancient spell they might have missed. The others are chasing fires in hopes of catching the clone that way. Im afraid one more person isnt going to be of a lot of use.
Lyon put his hand on Tighes shoulder. If you want my advice, get something to eat and spend some time with your mate. Not necessarily in that order. His gaze swung to her, respect sharp in his eyes. Human or not, shes a hell of a woman. He turned and started back down the tunnel.
Kougar came over to them and clasped Tighes shoulder. Never give up. His enigmatic gaze swung slowly to her. Worthy, he murmured, with a single nod of the head, then turned and followed Lyon.
Tighes hand squeezed her arm. Was I hallucinating, or did Kougar just call you worthy?
You tell me.
She felt the stiffness enter his muscles a second before he released her, gripped her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His eyes took on a light she wasnt sure she liked. What did you do?
Delaney stared at him, her brows drawing together. You know what I did. I led you out of the dark, just as you did me.
His hands tightened on her shoulders until his grip was almost painful. I could have killed you.
She stared at him, her temper flaring. Well, youre welcome.
I mean it, he growled. Dont ever do something like that again.
She kicked him in the shin with her bare toes. Twice you risked everything to find me. Twice. Dont you dare get on my ass about helping you.
Im immortal. Youre human!
As everyone keeps reminding me! Im made of flesh and blood, not soap bubbles. I might not heal as fast as you do, but I do heal. Dont try to lock me away to protect me, Tighe. I wont have it.
She stilled, her words hanging in the air. Shed yelled at him about what not to do the next time, but it didnt look like there was going to be a next time.
Oh, Tighe. Her eyes filled with tears.
With a growl, Tighe hauled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair with a shudder that shook the entirety of his big body. For long, long minutes he held her like that, shudders rocking him at regular intervals, while she clamped her arms around him and held him tight.
Im not mad at you, D. Its not you, though goddess, when I think of what I could have done to you like that
I was so scared I wouldnt be able to reach you. Her voice broke. I dont want to lose you.
The tears got away from her, and Tighe held her as she cried, stroking her back and running his hand over her hair.
Dont cry, D. Kougar and Hawke will come up with something. Well beat that bloodless sucker, yet.
But there was no real belief in his tone. Nothing but bleak despair.
When she got control, he pulled back until he could see her face, then cupped her cheek in his warm palm. Are you really okay? I had a vision, D. I saw him stripping you, tying you down. Touching you.
His words brought back that nightmare. Delaney shivered, the chills rippling over her skin.
Tighe pulled her against him, cradling her head. Ive never felt so helpless in my life. You were right there, and I couldnt help you. I couldnt reach you.
Im okay. I knew youd come for me.
Always.
But always spoke of a future they didnt have.
How could this be it? How could this man, whom shed just found, whom she loved, be dying? The weight of her grief was almost more than she could bear.
CHAPTER 26
Tighe held Delaney in his arms, deep in the bowels of Feral House, his heart filling with a pressure he wasnt sure hed survive even if they did manage to kill his clone in time.
Was this love? Hed thought hed been in love once before, but now he wondered.
Was this what real love felt like? This feeling that he couldnt breathe? The certainty that before hed found her hed never breathed? Never lived? And now he might only have hours.
Hours.
The knowledge echoed through his mind like the death knell it was. For the first time in his long, long life he faced true death. There had been threats to his life before, certainly. Mage battles. Draden attacks that for short periods of time had gone south. But hed always known hed prevail. And he always had.
He was immortal.
Face-to-face, hed be able to defeat the clone, he was sure of it. But his enemy fought from the shadows and behind the faces of the people he loved.
This time he might well lose.
The worst part was, for the first time since he was marked all those centuries ago, he had a strong reason to live. To watch over Delaney as she lived her life. To do whatever he could to make her short years safer, richer, even if she insisted on returning to her own world with no memory of him. Hed visit her in his cat form, then once she was asleep, hed cloud her mind and hold her. She wouldnt be lonely. Hed make certain she was never lonely.
Slowly he pulled back, framing her face as he clung to her gaze, reassuring himself she was really in his arms, shaken anew by how scared hed been that hed never hold her like this again. Emotion caught in the back of his throat, burning a line all the way to his eyes.
Goddess, D, when I realized you were missing, I nearly died. A shudder wracked his body. When I finally figured out where you were, I heard you scream. I thought I was too late.
She brushed her cheek against his chest. He touched my head with his hands. It felt like he poured acid in me. I really thought hed planted something in me, but the Shaman couldnt find anything but shadows.
He slid his hands in her hair and pulled back to meet her gaze. But youre all right?
Her eyes filled with pain as she looked at him, but it was a pain not of the flesh. Grief, plain and simple.
He kissed her softly, reverently, drinking in the feel of her. The taste. Memorizing her sweet lips, so warm, so soft and precious. If all he had left was a few hours, hed spend them like this. With her.
Tighe pulled away, then swung her into his arms, startling a quick gasp from her. I need to make love to you, D.
Delaney hooked her arm around his neck and pressed her lips to his cheek. I need to make love to you, too.
A pleased growl rumbled in his chest. I need a shower first. I must stink like five-day-old garbage.
She shuddered. I think my sense of smell has been permanently burned away.
Her words made his chest ache, and he remembered that kitchen, that smell, and could only guess what a horrifying experience that had been for her. His grip on her tightened, and he pressed his head gently to hers as he carried her, safe in his arms at last.
He took her back through the gym and into the open shower at the back, where he lowered her slowly to her feet. Kissing her briefly, he turned on one of the showers and began stripping.
Delaney did the same, lifting the soft pajama shirt to expose her beautiful breasts.
Not here, sweetheart, Tighe said softly. Theres someplace else I want to make love to you. Ill only be a minute.
Delaney managed a sad smile. I need a shower as badly as you do. Probably worse, considering where Ive been.
He stared at her, understanding dawning slowly. Is there a reason you didnt shower the past two days?
She pulled off her pajama bottoms and tossed them on the bench. I was out of it as long as you were, though not quite in the same way. The moment I woke up, I came for you, Tighe. The moment. Her gaze met his, her eyes filled with a silken strength and a tenderness that made him ache with love.
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely, tenderly, telling her silently what was in his heart. But the slide of her nakedness against his had his body revving, his eyes changing. If he didnt put distance between them soon, it would be over here and now. And this was not where he meant to make love to her.
Quick shower, D. He forced himself to release her and turned on a second of the four showerheads. He didnt dare try to stand that close to her right now.
As Delaney stood watching him, she cocked her head. Are you really going to take a shower with your sunglasses on?
Yes.
Youve got to be kidding.
Her disbelief annoyed him. Theres a reason I wear them, D. Its important.
But as he watched her, an aching hurt entered her eyes. All weve been through together, knowing we could almost be out of time, and youre still going to hide from me?
A fist clenched inside his chest. You dont understand.
Then tell me.
He stared at her, feeling trapped. She didnt understand. She couldnt possibly understand. Yet everything shed said was true. And, goddess, but he loved her. He could bare himself for her, couldnt he?
He lifted his hands and dropped them again. Its because my eyes go feral whenever Im attracted to a woman.
She gave him a look that said she clearly thought he was an idiot. So?
So, they turn into tigers eyes. Theyd scare the shit out of you.
She fisted her hands on her bare, slender hips. Youre kidding, right? Have you forgotten I was the one who got you out of there? I stared into your tiger eyes for what seemed like forever, Tighe, and yes, I was scared. You were snarling and snapping, trying to bite my hand off, but the thing that scared me the most was that I wasnt going to be able to reach you.
With a growl, he stepped under the hot spray of the nearest shower and tipped his head back as that fist in his chest tightened. He heard her move, then felt her arms slide around him as she pressed her cheek against his chest.
You dont scare me, Tighe.
You like kissing monsters?
Take off the sunglasses, shape-shifter.
Dammit. Cant you just leave it alone?
Nope.
In a fit of anger, he pulled off his shades and tossed them onto the floor. As much as he wanted to stare down at her with his animal eyes, he couldnt bring himself to do it. He couldnt stand to see her own eyes change, fear filling their depths.
Delaneys fingers curved around his jaw and with a feather-light touch, made him look at her. Why did you use the word monster?
He forced himself to meet her gaze, bracing for her reaction. But she just continued to look at him like she always did. Its just a word, D. Animal, Feral, monster. Its just a word.
She shook her head even as she watched him with eyes warm and understanding, an understanding he wasnt sure he could handle.
Lifting her hand, she pressed her palm to his cheek. I love your eyes, Tighe. Because when I look into them, I see you. Even when you were in that feral state, the moment you came back to me, I saw you. Your fierce strength and gentle protectiveness. Your courage and honor and determination. Whether your eyes look like a mans or a tigers, I see you.
He tore his gaze from hers and looked up at the ceiling. Thanks.
She released a soft snort. Thanks? Tighe, for heavens sake, youre an amazing creation. Rare, powerful. Beautiful. In all your forms.
He heard her words, but the fist inside his chest only pinched harder. You dont understand.
Obviously not.
Her soft palm slid across his chest. Tell me. Help me understand. If you give me just one last gift, make it this.
He groaned. You dont fight fair.
You cant always win with fair. Her soft mouth brushed his arm in a sweet kiss. I want to understand you.
Let me finish my shower, first. He needed space. Because she was getting too close. She was digging too deep.
Delaney sighed, her eyes frustrated and sad. Okay. She moved to the other shower and picked up a bottle of flowery shampoo Kara must have left down there.
He washed thoroughly, scraping his skin raw, lost in feelings and thoughts he didnt know how to explain. Things he didnt want to explain even if he knew how. But Delaneys presence, the solidity of her acceptance, grabbed hold of him and wouldnt let him go.
Hed give her the sun and the moon if he could. He supposed he could try to explain what he didnt entirely understand himself. And if he was going to do it, it had to be tonight.
With a sigh, he turned off the water, wrapped a towel around his waist, and sat on one of the benches, tipping his head against the wall behind him as she finished her shower. His gaze fastened on the rocklike tile of the wall across from him as his mind looked inward.
I love living here, D, fighting beside these men. And when I shift into my tiger, its a rush unlike anything you can imagine. But I swear, I swear not a day goes by that I dont think about how Id give it up He shook his head. Id give it up
The words burned in his throat.
Delaney joined him, wrapping a towel around her dripping body as she sat down beside him. Her fingers stroked his damp arm. For what, Tighe?
Pulling her against him, he struggled to find the words for a longing hed never given voice to.
His voice shook. To hold my daughter again.
Delaney started. He tasted her surprise. But all she did was press her head against his shoulder. Tell me about her.
Where to begin? But as he clung to her, the words poured out.
She was precious. Perfect. Her name was Amalie, and the last time I saw her she was five, with dimples like mine and a cloud of golden curls that shed flick back from her face as she ran from one discovery to the next. She had a quick mind and an insatiable curiosity, and from the moment she learned to speak, all she did was ask questions. Why do the clouds move? Why dont all butterflies wear the same colored wings? Why did her cuts take days to heal and mine only seconds?
She was mortal.
Yes. My wife, Gretchen, was human. The children of such unions can be either, but Amalie was mortal.
His eyes fogged, a lump forming in his throat. Goddess, but he missed her.
Tell me about Gretchen.
Swallowing back the emotion, he forced himself to push past the anger that thoughts of her always brought and think about the girl shed been. For the first time in centuries, he thought of the girl hed fallen in love with all those years ago.
I met her when I was fifteen. She was a year younger, but I knew I was going to marry her. From the first day I saw her, I loved her.
Where did you meet her?
We both wound up with the same foster father. I grew up in a Therian village in Denmark. When I was nine, my mother had a premonition of a Mage attack. The Mage in that area, at that time, were trying to wipe out the Therians.
Why?
A superiority thing weve suffered from the dawn of time. One of the women in our village had married a human a few years before, so my mother took me to her and asked her to let me stay there for a while. She promised shed come back for me as soon as it was safe.
Delaneys soft hand stroked his chest. She didnt come back, did she?
No. A few months later, the woman I was living with died of a mysterious illness. She was Therian, so of course it was no illness. It had to have been Mage magic of some kind. I was too young to understand fully what was going on, but I had a feelingI knew my mother would never come back for me. So I lived with the human, Anders, and his young son, helping with the farm.
Did he know what you were? That you were immortal?
I was never really sure. In hindsight, no. He couldnt have known. When I was fifteen, his fourteen-year-old niece came to live with us. Gretchen. She wasincorrigible. Full of mischief and laughter, and I fell head over heels in love with her. Three years later, we married. Amalie was born a year after that.
A soft kiss brushed his shoulder. What happened?
He looked down at her dark head and lifted his hand to touch the cool sleekness of her hair. Why are you so sure something happened?
She lifted her head to meet his gaze, her heart in her eyes, and he knew she felt the pain in his chest. So he told her.
I was marked by the goddess to be the next Feral Warrior.
Her eyes widened. Literally?
Yes and no. By the goddess, I mean Nature. Theres not a real woman or anything. But the marking is literal. He touched the four claw marks that scored his right nipple. I woke up to these after a hell of a dream I cant remember. I kind of knew what they meant. Id heard of the Feral Warriors and how they were marked, but Id never seen one. That night, as we got ready for bed, I wanted to make love to my wife.
Delaneys breath sucked in audibly. Your eyes changed.
Tighe nodded, the old pain driving a stake through his heart. She screamed. He looked across the shower, his sight caught far in the past. I thought she saw something behind me, something threatening my family. That emotional rush turned me completely feral. Not crazy, like youve seen me, but still feral. I was horrified as claws unsheathed from my fingers, and fangs grew in my mouth. She ran from me. She ran from our cottage screaming for help, yelling that there was a demon in her home. The villagers attacked me, hacking at me with knives and axes. If Id been human, Id have died. I managed to get back in my skinback in my human formand tried to explain, but they werent listening. I had no choice but to run that night.
The next morning, I snuck back into the village. I had to talk to Gretchen. I knew she loved me. If I could just explain, everything would be okay. But the moment she saw me, her eyes filled with such terror. Such terror, D.
Delaney looked up at him, and he met her gaze as she reached for his hand. Thats why my terror sets you off, isnt it? Its that memory.
Probably. I was furious with her, but mostlyI hurt, D. Shed betrayed me. Betrayed everything wed meant to one another. She started screaming again and ran from me, and I let her go. I understood it was never going to be okay. But as I left my house, my home, and started back through the garden, I heard Amalie. I turned around to find her running toward me. Toward me. She was crying for me. Gretchens uncle snatched her up as the other villagers armed themselves, ready to drive me away a second time. All the while Amalie kicked and screamed, reaching for me, the tears streaming down her face. He covered his eyes against the burning that wouldnt stop. I turned and walked away. I turned my back on her, D. I never saw her again.
Tighe. He felt Delaneys strong arms go around his waist and her damp head press against his chest. There was nothing else you could have done. Nothing. She knew you loved her, she added softly.
His arms went around her and held fast. Did she? I never went back. A newly marked Feral starts to feel a pull, a need for radiance that will eventually lead him to Feral House, but it took me nearly a year and a half to find it, up in the Highlands of Scotland. Not long after I arrived, Lyon moved us to Ireland because of all the problems with the Mage. I immersed myself in my new life, shutting out the pain of the old. We were engaged in constant battle with the Mage, and after a time, we moved to Spain, and finally across the ocean to come here.
The first time I considered trying to go back, we were discussing leaving for the New World. I needed to see Amalie again. Just one more time. It seems ridiculous, maybe, but I still thought of her as five. In my mind, shed stayed five all those years. When you never age, when no one around you ever ages, you tend to forget that others do. And its all too easy to lose track of time. I finally stopped and did the math and realized nearly a hundred and twenty years had passed. My little Amalie was long gone. I dont know if she lived another year after I left her, or another hundred. When I pulled that child from the fire, all I could think, all I could wonder was how many times my own daughter had needed me that I wasnt there to protect her.
Im sorry, Tighe. Delaney held him, stroking his back, until the shudders left him, and the memories uncurled from his heart.
It was a long time ago, he said, finally feeling like he could breathe again.
Delaney straightened and met his gaze. Im sorry for you, but Im sorry for them, too. Poor Gretchen. Shed probably never heard of Therians, let alone Feral Warriors. All she knew was stories of demons and devils and bad things. Your changing like that would have scared the crap out of anyone.
She ran gentle fingers through his hair, holding him with her gaze. Dont blame her, Tighe. It wasnt her fault. Leaning forward, she laid a feather-light kiss upon the corner of his mouth. But it wasnt your fault either.
He sighed. I tried to forget. I had to forget. But not a day goes by that my traitorous eyes dont remind me what I am.
A soft hand stroked his cheek. I love what you are.
I saw your eyes, D. When I went feral.
Well, yeah. Under the circumstances, I had reason to be afraid. But, for heavens sake, Tighe, its your own fault you scare us humans. You guys are so damned secretive, no one knows you even exist. So of course were shocked when you suddenly do something no human can do. But now that I know, Im not afraid. Unless you go feral again. Then all bets are off.
He marveled at her courage. Even then, even when hed been lost in that chaos, shed pulled him out. Shed faced the worst he had to give and not run.
Turn into a tiger for me, Tighe.
He stared at her. Now?
Right now. I want to see you shift when I can pay attention. When I can touch you. Her expression changed, turning guarded. Are you dangerous when you shift? When youre a tiger? I mean, to me?
No. Its still me in either form. Even in the feral form, Id never hurt you if I werent handicapped by half a soul.
Then do it, Tighe. Shift for me. Please?
Delaney He shook his head. You dont want this. Like you said, youre not used to this.
Ah, but what I said was, I didnt understand it the first time. You looked damned dangerous and, as it turned out, you were. Its different now. I understand what youre doing. And I want to see it happen when I can really watch. Ive never touched a tiger.
If you get scared, theres no telling what will happen.
Then dont do anything without warning me. No pretending to bite my head off or anything.
This was not a good idea. What if Delaney didnt handle his shift as well as she thought she would? If she got scared, he could lose it again. He could kill her this time.
Even if he didnt lose it, could she really accept an animal as her mate?
But in her eyes he saw such certainty. Such strength. And she wanted to see him shift. She wanted to. Wasnt that all hed wanted from Gretchen? To be given a chance to explain?
He could give Delaney that. What she wanted. What they both wanted.
All he had to do was trust her to handle it.
Deep in his heart, he did.
Delaneys pulse raced with excitement as Tighe rose to his feet and led her into the gym.
Stay here. Tighe backed into the middle of the room, giving himself room, and her space.
Then, as she watched, the man she loved disappeared in a breath-catching shimmer of colored lights. A second later a huge, gorgeous tiger stood in the place where hed been. The very tiger shed seen for such a brief moment before.
Delaneys heart pounded. Staring at the beautiful, deadly creature, adrenaline shot through her system, instincts bred over eons of human evolution warning her to run.
But she didnt. Because the dangerous animal wouldnt hurt her.
A tiny smile played around her mouth as her hand went to her chest. My hearts racing, Tighe. But its not from fear. Not much, anyway. This is so beyond incredible. Can you hear me?
Of course. His voice sounded in her head. Do you think tigers cant hear?
Her eyes went wide. Did you really just say that?
D
Nod.
He bobbed his head. I feel just like one of those damned dolls sitting in the back of a car window.
You didnt tell me you could talk in my head.
Telepathic communication is possible between shifted Ferals and whomever they choose. Very convenient when were on the hunt.
Ill bet. She took a step toward him, her pulse leaping. You dont mind if I touch you, do you?
Theres nothing Id enjoy more.
But she hesitated, her cavewoman instincts screeching that hed tear her limb from limb. She took another step, caught her breath on a laugh, then walked slowly, cautiously to the amazing creature. But as she reached for him, as her fingers slid into his fur, a low growl rumbled from his throat.
Delaney snatched back her hand. You said you didnt mind.
Sorry. I guessI expected you to be a little more afraid. Its happened before.
To Tighes surprise, she made a sound of disgust and, with no hesitation, wrapped her arms around his tigers thick neck. Gretchen would have accepted you, you know. She rubbed her cheek against his ruff. If the situation had been different. If youd been alone and able to discover your changes together.
Her words slid into him like warm syrup, filling the holes inside him, erasing the cold.
I imagine the whole thing scared you nearly as much as it did her.
Yes. It probably did. I didnt actually shift until much later, after I reached Feral House, nor did I have a mirror to see myself. But I could see my claws and feel the fangs. I wasnt at all sure what was happening to me.
It was a tragic set of circumstances all the way around, Tighe. But she loved you. Up until that day, youd never doubted her, had you?
Never. Thats why her betrayal cut so deep.
She didnt betray you. She didnt understand what was going on. Her uncle and the other villagers were simply trying to protect themselves and their families from a creature they couldnt comprehend. Youd have done the same, Tighe. With Amalie at your side, you wouldnt have taken any chances. Youd have attacked first and asked questions later.
With a deep mental sigh, he knew she was right.
Thanks, brown eyes. Im seeing that day in a different light. A brighter light. Ive been blaming Gretchen, blaming humans all these years. For their fears. For their close-mindedness. Perhaps unfairly.
Delaney released him and rose to walk around him, sliding her fingers through his fur from the base of his neck to his tailbone. She moved behind him and brushed her fingers along him as she returned to his head. Then she knelt in front of him, her fingers sliding through his ruff. Her eyes sparkled with excitement even as they flowed with a depth and clarity hed rarely seen in any eyes, human or Therian.
Can you taste my emotions in this form?
Not as well, but yes.
Am I afraid?
I hear your heart pounding like its about to take flight.
But am I afraid?
No.
Right answer. Imawestruck, Tighe. Exhilarated. Completely enchanted. I have goose bumps because Im staring into the eyes of one of the most beautiful, powerful, dangerous creatures on this planet, and in his eyes I see the man I adore. Her eyes gleamed with emotion. Softly, she added, I see the man I love.
Harsh joy barreled through him, taking down his heart in a single blow.
Brown eyes. I need to hold you. Step back.
When she did, he shifted back into a man, then stood and swept her into his arms. His mouth covered hers, and he kissed her, tasting the truth of her words in the passion of her lips and the tenderness of her fingers in his hair. Hearing it in the beat of her heart. A heart beating in time with his own.
Goddess, but he loved her.
Finally, he pulled back to look down into her face. Youre really not put off by all this?
Her eyes shone with love, her mouth forming the most beautiful smile hed ever seen. His chest tightened until he thought it would burst.
She cupped his mans face as she had his tigers. Put off is about as far from what Im feeling as you can get. Her thumb moved to trace his lip. He nipped her lightly with his human teeth, stroking her thumb with his tongue.