Kara's gaze swung back to him, her eyes filled with as much fire as fear. "I hate him. I hate it here ." Tears sprang to her eyes, and she turned her face as if she wished to hide her weakness.
"I'm sorry, Kara. It shouldn't have been like this. Being chosen Radiant is the greatest of honors. Every Therian woman dreams of waking with the mark upon her breast. Every Therian woman who knows she's Therian," he amended. "This should have been a dream come true for you."
A tear glistened on her cheek, stabbing him through the chest. Her mouth twisted ruefully as she lifted her shoulder and wiped it away. "Yeah, I'm not exactly feeling like the luckiest girl alive." She turned sad eyes to him. "I just want to go home."
"I know. This will be your home, but I imagine it's hard to see that now. Believe it or not, I remember coming to Feral House for the first time. It wasn't this house, of course, but I'll never forget that feeling of being untethered, as if lost on an endless sea. Nothing familiar to hold on to. It didn't last. It never lasts. But it can be hugely unsettling while it does. You'll come to think of this as home, little one. Just give it time."
With a squeeze of his hands, he released her. "Let's get you back to bed so you can get some sleep."
At first, he thought she was going to refuse, but finally she released a noisy, unhappy sigh, and nodded.
"You shouldn't have lied to me," she said as she fell into step beside him.
"Would it have been easier if I'd told you, back in your house in Missouri, that I'm able to shift into a lion and intended to spirit you away to marry you off?"
Her soft burst of watery laughter eased his soul.
"No. I'd have run screaming into the night."
"That's what I figured. I gave you all the truth I thought you could handle, once I realized you believed yourself human." He lifted his hand, aching to touch her hair. Instead, he clasped his hands behind his back.
But his gaze he could not control. As he accompanied her back to her bedroom, his eyes drank their fill of the woman at his side. Though dressed casually in snug-fitting jeans, a white sweatshirt, and running shoes, the simple attire did little to hide the slender curves of her body or the unstudied grace of her walk. A grace that made him suspect a deer or gazelle in her deep Therian heritage. Soft golden hair brushed her cheeks and jaw, accentuating a decidedly pleasing, if strained, profile.
A strain he felt mirrored in every cell of his body as he struggled against the need to touch her, as he fought for self-control. How he'd formed such a powerful and inappropriate connection with her, he wasn't sure. But he had to find a way to close it off before he permanently damaged her relationship with the man with whom she was destined to fall in love.
He'd created one hell of a mess and had to figure out a way to fix it. Eventually, she'd turn to Vhyper. She must, not only for her own happiness, but for the well-being of the entire race. The problem was, she had to do it soon. Once she accepted Vhyper, everything would fall into place. Which meant he had to break this unholy bond between them even if it killed him.
As they reached her door, Kara turned to him, gripping her elbows, trembling. Fear shimmered in her eyes and continued to wash off her as strongly as when he'd first grabbed her from behind and halted her flight.
"That dream still has you in its grip, doesn't it?" He took her hand, unable to let her suffer when he could help her. As he pulled the fear out of her, he peered at her closely. "Or is it something else, little one? Has something frightened you?"
"It's the dream." Slowly, she calmed beneath his touch. "But it felt real, Lyon. I can't shake the feeling that someone's going to hurt me."
He relaxed. "If you can get yourself to fall back asleep, your dreams will be better. You'll have forgotten this one by morning." He opened the door for her. She'd left the light on, and it illuminated the room softly. "Come on. I'll make sure there's nothing here before I go."
He checked the bathroom and peered beneath the bed, finding nothing, as he'd known he would. Radiants tended to be weak of mind or spirit, as if nature sought to balance the physical power she gifted them with, but he'd thought Kara was different. She'd seemed stronger to him. Too strong still to be quaking over a dream long gone. Then again, she'd had one hell of a couple of days.
What she needed was comforting. If he'd had his choice, he'd have crawled into bed with her and held her tight until the dream was a distant memory. Then he would have slowly peeled away her clothes and made love to her until he had her shaking for an entirely different reason.
She'll be okay , he told himself. But the eyes she turned to him, so full of unhappiness, made him ache.
"I'm not going to let anyone harm you, Kara. I promise you that."
She pressed her lips tight and nodded, that strength he'd seen in her before, sparking to life through the apprehension that swam in her eyes. Yes, she'd be okay.
Slowly, she stepped back, allowing him room to leave.
Goddess, but he wanted to stay. He forced his feet to move past her and closed the door behind him.
Then he stood there, staring at the door he'd closed, his beast whimpering to go back, his chest aching with her misery and his own loss. But the goddess always knew best. Vhyper would make her the better mate.
Even though he knew it, the knowledge made him bitter. Because with Kara, for the first time in his long life, he'd glimpsed something sweet. Something fine. A pull between them that went both ways. An attraction that was more than the physical. As badly as he ached to drive himself into her, he wanted to hold her almost as much. Hold her, talk to her, listen to her quick mind as he watched the emotions fly across her face and feel them caress his skin. He was attuned to her as he'd never been to another.
He'd never wanted the responsibility of a mate. He didn't want that now. Yet he wanted Kara.
He pressed his palm lightly to the wood as if he could touch her one last time.
Then turned and walked away.
Lyon paused on the second-floor landing the next morning, his gaze drawn to Kara's door. His finder's senses, so attuned to her, told him she was still in bed. His fingers clenched the rail beneath his hand. Goddess, but the pull of her was strong. All night he'd lain awake thinking about her, longing to return to her room. And now that he was here, so close, it was all he could do not to go in there, climb into her bed, and pull her soft, sleep-warmed body against his.
The wood beneath his hand groaned in protest, and he released the old banister before he broke it.
Kara needed to sleep. And even if she didn't, she was no longer his responsibility. She was not his to waken.
His beast howled, but he clenched his jaw and forced himself to continue down the stairs and head for his office as he did every morning to tend to the business of the Ferals over the breakfast Pink brought to him. But at the door to his empty office, he stopped. He didn't feel like eating alone this morning.
Maybe he'd eat in the dining room today.
Five of his men were already seated, eating heartily, when he entered the spacious room.
Jag looked up, his eyes hard and mocking. "So, our fearless leader deigns to grace us with his presence."
Wulfe, Foxx, Paenther, and Kougar all turned to face him, their expressions alert, questioning. As if the only reason he'd be walking into the dining room during breakfast was to issue orders or demand answers.
Had it been that long since he'd eaten with them? Maybe it had. Hell, he hadn't joined them in years. But that was to be expected. Chiefs kept to themselves.
Except he knew that was a lie. The previous Feral chiefs had always joined the men for meals, sitting at the head of the table as was their right.
Lyon never had because he wasn't even sure why. Because he'd never wanted to. Never needed to.
And he didn't need to now.
This was Kara's fault, dammit.
He almost turned and left, but doing so would only make him feel like more of a fool.
"Is there a problem, Roar?" Paenther asked.
Lyon scowled. "Yeah, there's a problem. I'm hungry."
Jag snorted. "Since when do you eat with us?"
"I'm Chief of the Ferals. I can eat anywhere I damned please."
Paenther stood and thrust out his arm in greeting. "Glad to have you join us, Roar."
Each of his men rose and greeted him in kind, though Jag's greeting was last and decidedly unenthusiastic.
Wulfe smacked Jag in the head. "Show some respect!"
Jag went feral with a growl, then sheathed his claws and slunk back into his chair.
Lyon ignored the surly warrior. Jag had become a Feral long after Lyon became chief. From the day he'd arrived at Feral House, Jag had pitted himself against every man here. Lyon had tried everything from serious talks to harsh punishment, and nothing had ever changed. For a reason Lyon couldn't fathom, Jag seemed to thrive on the enmity of his companions. The more they hated him and punished him, the more it pleased him.
Lyon had long ago given up trying to change him and ignored him instead. For as long as his patience held out.
He grabbed an empty plate and sat at the end of the table, where he could watch the door. In case Kara came down.
As if he could ever not know where she was.
Wulfe shoved two platters his way. "Anyone else sleep like hell last night? It's got to be the lack of radiance. I haven't gotten a decent sleep in nights."
Lyon didn't bother to answer. He'd slept little last night, but he knew the reason. He began loading pork chops and roast beef onto his plate His stomach was demanding food, and he sure as hell meant to feed it.
"Where's Vhyper?" Lyon asked when the worst of his hunger pangs had been quelled.
"Haven't seen him," Jag muttered. He eyed Lyon from beneath needling brows. "Wondering what kind of a lay the new Radiant is?"
Lyon's hand spasmed around the serving fork, his claws erupting to clink against the handle. Kougar's hand weighted his shoulder, pulling him back to his sanity.
Jag just smirked.
Teeth grinding, Lyon forced himself to loose his grip on the serving fork, pushing back the beast that longed to escape his rigid control. Dammit to hell, Kara wasn't his. He had no right to feel this outrage, this Possessiveness. Taking deep breaths, he forced himself to calm down.
He looked to Paenther. "Get Vhyper."
The warrior nodded and left. Slowly, the conversation started again. Pink brought out more platters, and the meal was relatively pleasant, though Kara never stirred.
Lyon was nearly finished when Wulfe gave a deep growl and cleared his plate, Foxx's, and Jag's from the table with a single, furious sweep of his arm.
Jag snarled, but Foxx leaped at Wulfe, taking him crashing to the ground in a flurry of fangs and claws.
Lyon let them go for a good minute or two. Getting their anger out was often the only way for them to get back in their skins. Then he rose to put a stop to it.
"Enough!"
Foxx broke away from the fight, but Wulfe tackled the younger warrior and the battle resumed full force.
"Wulfe!" But the man didn't seem to hear him. Bloody hell .
It took both Kougar and Jag to tear the huge warrior off Foxx, but Wulfe continued to try to fight them.
Lyon stepped in and pinned Wulfe to the ground. " Get back in your skin ."
Slowly, slowly, the fight went out of Wulfe, and he sheathed his claws, his fangs retracting.
Lyon stared into the now-human eyes of one of his best fighters. "What happened?"
Wulfe shook his. head hard, as if trying to clear it, then threw off Jag's and Kougar's hands. Lyon stepped back and let him rise to his feet.
"I don't know." His scarred face tightened with a frown, "I lost it."
"You can say that again," Jag muttered.
"Are you back in control?" Lyon demanded.
"Yes."
Lyon put his hand on Wulfe's shoulder, surprising himself. Surprising the warrior.
"Get some rest, Wulfe. You need it."
The warrior nodded and hooked his arm around Foxx's shoulders. "Sorry, cub."
"Don't call me cub." But Foxx slung his arm around Wulfe's shoulders in return. As the pair started for the door, Paenther returned.
"What happened to you?" Foxx asked.
"Nothing." Paenther looked as bad as Wulfe and Foxx, though his cuts were well on their way to healed.
Lyon scowled. "Well?"
Paenther glanced at the door, not turning back until Wulfe and Foxx were out of sight.
"I found Vhyper in bed with Zaphene and reminded him he had a mate," Paenther said quietly, rubbing his hand over one of the cuts on his face. "Didn't seem to like that."
"Damn him. He disrespects Kara. Steals from Foxx." Despite his anger, a small, jealous part of him was pleased that Vhyper had sought out a woman other than Kara. He'd kill the snake if he ever hurt Kara, but she had yet to want him. Foxx, on the other hand, would care very much that Vhyper had turned to Zaphene instead of his mate. "If Foxx finds out"
He was used to fights, sometimes vicious fights between his warriors. They were, after all, half-animal. But generally, there was a reason for the scuffle. And if he demanded control, they found it. Always.
With the lack of radiance, that appeared to be a thing of the past.
How much worse was this going to get before they got Kara ascended? This kind of loss of control, and inability to get it back, was dangerous. To the Ferals and anyone near them.
Including their Radiant.
"Where's Vhyper now?"
"Nursing a concussion," the warrior said with a hard grin.
Lyon pulled out his cell phone and punched the snake's number. "In my office, now ," he barked when Vhyper answered.
He snapped the phone closed and turned to his second. "We've got to get Kara ascended, and I don't want Vhyper near her."
"He's her mate," Paenther said simply.
"He's out of control. I won't have her harmed."
The prepping didn't have to be by the Radiant's mate, but usually worked better if it was. If for no other reason than it built a trust between them they'd need when it came to the Ascension itself. But those two had a long way to go to establish any trust. And there was no way he was putting Kara in any danger.
"I need you to prep her, B.P."
Paenther shook his head. "I'm not sure I'm in any better shape than Vhyper. He jumped me, but I went feral first. My control is razor-thin at the best of times. And these are not the best of times. I'm not the one you want with the Radiant right now, Roar. How about Hawke? Or Stripes?"
"Not Tighe." He'd seen the way Tighe watched her. Lyon was certain he wouldn't hurt her, but his jealousy stirred, thick and hot. "Has Hawke shown any signs of losing control?"
"Not yet."
"Then send him."
"What about you? You've got a good connection to her."
Lyon's jaw clenched. "That connection needs to break." He had to stay away from her. Because his own control was close to snapping in an entirely different way. A way that would dishonor them both, and that was a thing he refused to do.
Kara stood beneath the hot spray of the shower, shaking. Her heart hadn't quit thudding all night except for the minutes when Lyon had touched her. Her chest ached. Her stomach hurt as if the threat of stabbing from both nightmares had horribly come true. And there had been a second nightmare.
After Lyon brought her back to her mom during the night, she'd sat by the door for more than an hour before she'd finally forced herself to get in bed and try to go to sleep. And she had, eventually, only to suffer through another horrible dream, almost identical to the first. Like before, she'd been hanging, naked, from the ceiling. This time though, instead of one robed figure closing in on her with a bloody knife, there'd been many of them. Eight. Maybe ten. Coming at her from all sides. She'd tried to scream and only woken herself up again.
And, like before, the fear hadn't fallen away with the end of the dream. It was as if she were somehow locked in the nightmare, caught halfway between that world and this. Awake in this one, but fully aware that the other waited for her, ready to suck her back the moment she closed her eyes.
Kara shook even as the hot water turned her skin red with heat. Something was wrong. This wasn't natural. Something was making her feel this way, and she'd be damned if she was going to hang around until she fell into that horror-movie world for good. Yet Lyon wasn't going to let her go.
When she was through with her shower, she dried her hair and pulled on jeans. She was shoving her arms into a green cotton sweater when a knock sounded at her door.
Hope lifted, then plummeted as an unfamiliar voice spoke.
"It's Hawke, Radiant. Are you up?"
She'd thought it was Lyon.
"I'm up," she called, and went to open the door.
Hawke stepped back from the door, his stance casual and unthreatening. A smile lit his features, softening them. "I'm glad to see I didn't wake you. Lyon's asked me to teach you to pull the energies from the earth."
Kara blinked. "Teach me what?"
Hawke's smile turned wry. "It's the first thing you have to learn to do before you can ascend. We'll go out to the river to work on it."
The river . Her pulse leaped. She knew there was some kind of water around here, or the place wouldn't be called Great Falls. Surely, going to the river meant leaving the house. And that was all she wanted to hear.
"I'm ready whenever you are. I just have to put on my shoes."
"Why don't you get some breakfast first?"
Kara shook her head. "I'm not hungry. I'd rather get started." She was too wound up to eat. Besides, she had no desire for a repeat of last night's dinner. The flamingo woman. Zaphene looking at her like she was a bug that had just crawled out from under a rock. No thanks.
Hawke nodded with approval. "Good, then. Let's go. You'll want a jacket. The wind's kicking up."
Kara grabbed the windbreaker she'd worn on the plane the night before last, her fingers clenching nervously around the rubbery fabric. This might be her only chance to escape this nightmare once and for all.
"Sit down, Vhyper," Lyon said, as the bald warrior appeared in his door.
Vhyper crossed his arms over his leather vest and propped his shoulder against the doorframe. "I'll stand." His demeanor was calmer than usual, his eyes cold, reminding Lyon of his own culpability in this untenable situation. Vhyper had watched him kiss Kara, bringing her to full orgasm in his arms, moments before the goddess chose Vhyper to be her mate.
If the situation were reversed, he'd be tempted to rip the snake's throat out. He had to remember that.
"What happened during the Pairing wasn't Kara's fault," Lyon told his warrior. He rose and moved around to the front of his desk, to prop his hip on the corner, "I was too heavy-handed when I ripped her from her life. With nothing familiar, she turned to me. She just needs time to get acclimated here. She needs you to be patient with her."
Vhyper raised a single dark brow. "Is that why she came when you kissed her?"
Lyon scowled, then released a frustrated breath. "I may have screwed up the Pairing. My only excuse is that my finder's senses went on overload with her. It doesn't happen often." Hell, he wasn't sure it had ever happened. Not like this. "I got into it. Kissed her. The passion I was calling in her accidentally turned toward me."
He looked at the other man sharply. "That doesn't excuse the way you treated her last night."
Vhyper shrugged. "She's mine."
Lyon felt his fingertips tingle, and he rose slowly, clenching his fists against the feral anger sparking inside. "She's ours. Our Radiant. You hurt her, and you won't be alive for her to be yours."
Vhyper's jaw clenched, his eyes turning colder before he broke eye contact and glanced toward the window. "I didn't rape her, if that's what you're worried about. I knocked her out when she fought me, but all I did was lay her on my bed with the intention of trying to start over with her when she woke. I decided I didn't have the patience for it, yet, and took her back to her own room."
"And stole Zaphene from Foxx."
Vhyper turned back to him with a cool shrug. " Stole is a powerful word, Chief. She was interested, I was frustrated. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"And you attacked Paenther when he pointed out that you had a mate."
"It was none of his business."
"How can you say that?" Lyon's patience snapped. "You're out of control, Snake. The goddess has blessed you with the most beautiful Radiant we've ever had."
"Sounds like you're jealous, Chief."
Hell yeah . Lyon scowled. "Start acting worthy of her. It won't take much to win her over if you use some kindness and your usual brand of humor. No more barbarian tactics."
"A little hard to win her over when you're pushing her off on other men. I saw Kara leave with Hawke."
"He's going to prep her for the Ascension."
A sharp light entered Vhyper's eyes. Something a little cruel. "You don't think she'd welcome my help right now?"
"No. I don't. And stay away from Zaphene. I don't want a war starting between you and Foxx. I've seen enough fangs the past couple of days. Find your control, Vhyper, and hang on to it."
Vhyper stared at him. "And what about your control, Chief? The control that slipped so badly you couldn't keep your hands off the woman you were preparing to find her mate? Are you staying away from her yourself?"
Lyon's fingers tingled. He clenched his fists harder and nodded. "I am."
CHAPTER 9
Kara stared down at the rushing water far below as the Potomac River pounded over the rocks that littered its path. The falls, they called it. Great Falls. She'd envisioned Niagara or some other 'vertical drop of water. Instead, these falls were horizontal, a rip-roaring rapids ride for any soul brave enough to try.
Great Falls was, she knew now, in the Washington, D.C., suburbs, in heavily populated Fairfax County. Yet out on the rocks like this, she felt nearly isolated but for the smattering of multimillion-dollar homes dotting the woods nearby. The place had a wild, untamed quality to it she wouldn't have expected to find so close to the nation's capital.
The drive from Feral House had taken little more than five minutes along winding, hilly, two-lane roads through dense woods, roads crowded with expensive cars, minivans, and high-dollar SUVs. Hawke had parked his car on an upscale residential street a short walk through the woods from this spot.
Oddly, or maybe not so oddly, her paralyzing fear had slowly ebbed as they'd driven farther from the house. The fear wasn't entirely gone, but had dulled to the level of dread she'd experienced yesterday, leaving her with an inner certainty something was wrong, even if she no longer felt she was in imminent danger.
Something or someone in that house meant her harm.
Lyon insisted otherwise. He said she was perfectly safe, but she wasn't. She hated Feral House. Hated feeling so scared all the time.
Lyon said she had to stay, but she couldn't. And Lyon wasn't here to stop her this time.
Hawke sat cross-legged on the wide, flat rock high above the rushing water he'd led her down to and held out his hand to her.
"Sit, Kara. It's important the Earth learn you."
"Learn me?"
He took her hand and pulled her down to sit facing him. Their knees almost touched. "You are the focal point, if you will, of the Earth's energies. The Radiant is the one through whom the Earth's power flows, the power that strengthens all Therians, particularly the Ferals."
"Are you talking about literal power or something more spiritual?" Her gaze caught on a bald eagle flying high over the water, his white head and tail flashing in the sunlight.
"Literal. You'll be the conduit, once we get you ascended."
But they wouldn't get her ascended. Not if she had any say in it. They were going to have to find another way this time. They were strong. Virtually immortal. There had to be another way.
"You're trembling, Kara."
If he thought this was trembling, he should have seen her last night. But clearly she wasn't as calm as she thought. It was best if he didn't know why.
"I um will the Ascension hurt?" As good a reason for her jitters as any, she supposed. At least she hoped he thought so.
"Not much. All our rituals require a little bloodletting from each of us, and the Ascension is no different. But the cuts will be shallow. You'll be fully healed before the ritual is over."
She gave him a wry look. "Easy for you to say." A memory surfaced from one of her nightmares, then disappeared, but not before she felt the stabbing pain of a knife piercing her abdomen. A hard shudder went through her.
Hawke put his hand on her arm. "It won't be bad, Kara. I promise. We'll all be cut right along with you. One of the hazards of being marked by the goddess." Hawke smiled and shrugged. "To tell you the truth, this will be my first Ascension, too. I was marked about the same time as Beatrice, but I didn't find my way to Feral House until after she was ascended."
The cool wind breezed over Kara's face, pulling a lock of hair loose from her ponytail. She tucked it behind her ear. "Then why did Lyon choose you to prepare me if you've never done this before?"
Hawke smiled, but his smile seemed directed inward. "I understand what has to be done. Until Foxx was marked, I was the youngest of the Ferals. I've spent a lot of time learning everything I can about our race, our powers, our rituals. I sometimes think I know more than any of them, even though they've been around much longer. I know what to do." He shrugged, a self-deprecating smile forming on his mouth. "I'm a natural student. I used to be a teacher."
He'd finally caught Kara's full attention. "Me, too. Did you teach children?"
"Yes, but Therian children are rare, so I never had more than one pupil at a time."
"When was that?"
"Soon after the humans' Civil War."
Kara stared at him. She knew they were immortal. But understanding was coming more slowly. The man didn't look a day over thirty. "How old are you?"
"One hundred fifty something." He thought about it for a moment. "Fifty-seven."
And he was next to the youngest. "What about the others?"
With his finger he tapped her hand. "Lay your palms on the rock."
"Why? So the rock can learn me, too?"
He grinned. "Something like that."
"How old is Lyon?"
"Close to seven hundred, I think."
"Seven hundred?"
Hawke nodded, his expression wry. "He's not the oldest."
"Who is?"
"Kougar, though no one knows how old he is."
"He won't tell you?"
"Kougar isn't exactly the sharing kind." Hawke leaned forward and covered her hands with his, pressing her palms more firmly to the rock. His touch was warm, but impersonal.
"You aren't as touchy-feely as the others." She grimaced, realizing she'd spoken the thought out loud.
But Hawke didn't seem to take offense. "As my name implies, I'm a hawk when I shift. We're naturally less physical than the cats and dogs. In ancient times, the various lines of shape-shifters lived separately. The felines and canines lived in prides and packs. The packs may be gone, but the Ferals are still physical beings for the most part. The snake and I less so. And Lyon, almost not at all."
"But Lyon should be, shouldn't he? He's a cat."
"He should be. Why he's not, no one really knows. Personally, I think it's the way he was raised. No one knows the full circumstances, but it's said he grew up on the streets without family. He may have been Therian, but he was still a child. And kids need family."
"Has he ever been married?"
"Mated? No. Few Ferals mate except for the one chosen for the Radiant. Few Therians mate, for that matter."
"Why is that?"
"Malting is for life. And when you live as long as we can, that's a promise few are willing to make. I, like most, will mate only if I find a woman I can't live without. And that's never happened. I have relationships. I enjoy them until I tire of them, then I move on. It's the way of the species. Bonding for life is rare."
"But you're not lonely?"
Hawke shrugged. "It's hard to get lonely when you live with ten others." He tapped her fingers. "Do you feel anything beneath your hands?"
"The rock's getting warm, but I suppose that's to be expected."
"Actually, this rock doesn't heat like that. It's warming to you, which means it's time to get started." He lifted his hands from hers and placed them palm down on the rock at his sides. "Do what I'm doing. Then close your eyes."