She wanted life on her terms. But that was spoiled, when so many depended on her for their power. And possibly even their lives. It was time she got over herself and concentrated on getting herself ascended. Then, maybe, she'd be in a better position to assess what kind of control she'd be able to steal in her life.
"Okay, I'm through sulking." Kara followed Lyon back to the center of the rock. "What now?"
He glanced at her, a look in his eyes that might have been relief. Or approval. "I want you to pull the power as before, but this time visualize it turning to flame in your hands."
"Why flame?"
"Because you're going to try to call fire this time. Fire is the physical form of your power."
Every time she thought she'd accepted this stuff, it turned more freaky on her.
"You're not talking about real fire, are you?"
Lyon motioned her to sit, then sat in front of her, crossing his legs as she did hers.
"The mystic fire I want you to pull looks real, but contains no heat. It won't burn you."
A thought occurred to her. "Will it hurt other people? Can I use it as a form of self-defense?" Maybe if she had some real way to protect herself, she wouldn't have to feel so afraid.
Lyon's brow quirked up, his mouth softening into a promise of a smile. "Are you seeking a way to defend yourself against me, little Radiant?"
"I was thinking more of finding a way to protect myself."
"I won't let anything harm you, Kara."
She frowned at him. "You're not with me a hundred percent of the time. You can't make promises like that." She hooked her arms around her knees.
"Humor me, Lyon. I'd feel better if I thought I had a way to protect myself."
Lyon shrugged. "Once ascended, some Radiants are able to throw fire. Real fire," he told her. "I've only seen it happen once, but I know some can do it. From what I've seen so far, I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to develop that kind of strength."
"But what about now? Can I do anything before I ascend?"
"I don't suppose you've studied karate?" It sounded like a joke, but there was no humor in his expression.
She made a face at him, then released a long-suffering sigh. "Show me how to pull the fire, Lyon. I want to know how."
He nodded once. "We'll start the same way as before, with your hands on the rock. When you feel the jolt of power this time, try to stay with it. Let it come. It could take a hundred tries before you can capture it, but it's critical you do."
Kara shrugged. "My calendar's free." She placed her hands on the rock between them, palms down, closed her eyes, and lifted her face to the wind.
She felt the rock warm beneath her palms. Be the vacuum , she thought, and pulled hard, willing it into her body. The power shot up her arms like before, and she yelped and jerked her hands back. But it hadn't hurt this time. Did he really expect her to hold on to this?
"Once you're able to hold that surge of power, I'll help you take it to the next level."
Kara licked her lips and nodded, placing her hands back on the rock, feeling a razor-sharp sense of anticipation. Holding her breath, she pulled.
Again the power caught her. Again she jerked back, this time with a laugh. She looked up to find Lyon watching her intently, a smile hovering at the edges of his mouth. If only they could stay out here like this. Sealed away from the rest of the world. Alone.
A sharp longing pierced her breastbone, and she closed her eyes against his too-perceptive gaze.
Power. Draw the power. This time she would catch it, no matter what.
The stone began to rumble beneath her, but she ignored it. She was the vacuum. The chosen one. The Earth would give up her energy to Kara alone.
The power leaped. She gasped as it raced up her arms and dove into her body, but she held on this time. It was too much. Too strong. She felt like she'd taken a bolt of lightning inside that was ripping her innards apart. Her jaw clenched, her mouth compressing with pain. But she held on.
Slowly, the pain dimmed, as if the bolt of lightning had quieted and no longer tried to escape. She could feel it inside, highly charged, but warm. Exciting. And she was finally able to breathe again.
A smile tilted her mouth even as her eyes remained closed. "I caught it, Lyon," she said, pleased with herself. "What do I do with it?"
"I'm going to cover your hands, little one. Don't move. Hold the power."
But the moment his hands slid over the backs of hers, pure lust shot into her, as if the natural attraction they shared had found a powerful conduit. Her body came roaring to life, her breasts suddenly full and heavy, her skin tingling as if Lyon's fingers were touching her everywhere. Between her legs, she felt a series of small contractions and a rush of dampness as her body opened and readied itself for his penetration.
" Lyon ." She opened her eyes and found his eyes closed, his head thrown back in an expression that was part pain, part ecstasy.
"Sweet goddess." His voice sounded as strained as hers had. "Don't lose the power, Kara. Hold it. Just give me a minute."
"You feel it, too."
"Oh, yeah." He gave a strangled laugh. "Never expected that to happen."
His hands held on to hers, the power flowing between them. The desire raging. When his head tilted down, and his eyes opened, she gasped all over again at the blazing need in his eyes.
"Lyon."
His hands gripped hers harder.
"Kara, concentrate . Hold the power." He groaned. "I suddenly understand why it's traditional for the Radiant's mate to be the one doing this."
Kara's breaths came in tight, shallow pulls as desire swirled around them and through them.
Lyon clenched his jaw. "We need to continue."
"How?"
"Grip it, Kara. I'm going to lift your hands, but I want you to keep hold of the fire. The real fire."
She gave a strangled laugh. "Okay." It wasn't like that other fire, the one that was melting her from the inside out, was going away anytime soon. Not as long as Lyon was with her. Because, while the Earth's energy had definitely shot her desire for him into orbit, it had been there from the start. And, she was afraid, always would be.
With a shaky breath, she closed her eyes and forced herself to concentrate on the power flowing through their joint hands. Lyon turned hers until they formed a bowl.
"Keep the power in your hands, Kara. Focus."
"It's still there?"
"Yes."
"You're helping." She could feel him, now, pulling at the power, too.
He held on to her, cupping his hand beneath hers, as the desire between them slowly descended from the stratosphere, and she could breathe again.
"All right, Kara. Now I want you to visualize the flame. Imagine it erupting in the middle of the bowl of your hands. A simple, cool flame that can't hurt you."
She did as he directed, and within seconds, to her amazement, their hands began to vibrate.
"Something's happening," she gasped.
"That's it!"
Kara's eyes snapped open, her jaw dropping as she gaped at the tiny blue heatless flame they held between them. A second later, it flickered out.
"I lost it," Kara looked up at Lyon with disappointment, but saw none in his own expression. He was watching her with a heat and intensity that had her libido leaping a second time.
"That was an excellent start."
"It was?"
He nodded slowly, his gaze dropping to heir mouth.
The moment stretched, the heat of his gaze tingling along the surface of her lips until she could almost feel him. She wanted him to kiss her. Wanted the pressure and strength of his mouth on hers, his tongue sliding between her lips.
She wanted until she was shaking with it.
But he didn't move. He sat there as if carved in granite, need vibrating off him in waves.
"Lyon," she said softly, and reached for his hand.
But her movement broke him out of his trance and he shot to his feet and moved away.
CHAPTER 13
Lyon stared out over the rough Potomac, the cool wind in his face doing nothing to ease the painful need surging through his body.
Goddess, but he wanted Kara.
He'd been a fool to think he could prep her. Even before the surge of power had burst over him, inflaming every nerve ending, leaving him hard and ready and wanting, he'd known it had been a mistake.
Watching her out here, away from the house and the constant fear that had been riding her, he'd gotten a taste of the woman she'd been before. Before her mother died, before he'd wrenched her from everything she'd known and thrust her into the immortal world of the Ferals.
And he'd become intrigued by her more than ever. Enchanted.
How was he ever going to get over her?
There was an elemental quality to her out here, a wildness, that called to his beast. And a sweetness and strength, despite everything, that drew the man. He would be perfectly content to sit out here for hours every day, watching her. The play of light along her fine bones, the emotions Hitting across her face.
He heard her approach and knew the moment she came to stand by him. For a long time she said nothing, simply stood at his side as if that was the very place she belonged. By sheer dint of will, he kept his hands to himself and didn't pull her closer. He didn't touch her at all. But that in no way meant he wasn't excruciatingly aware of her.
"When were you born exactly?" she asked finally. Her face was turned to the wind, the breeze tugging wisps of hair free from her ponytail to tease her cheek. A cheek he knew to be soft as silk.
"I was born somewhere around 1314. Maybe 1315. Dates were unimportant back then, and no one ever marked my birthday."
She turned to glance at him, her brows drawing together. "Even your mom didn't know?"
Lyon turned back to the river. "My mother was human. She died when I was born."
"I'm sorry. Who raised you?"
"Me."
"You had no one?"
"I had a father. A Therian. But I wouldn't go so far as to say he raised me. He'd been kicked out of the enclaves years before for excessive drinking. He was basically an immortal drunk. He'd have committed suicide a dozen times over if he hadn't been such a coward, and if it hadn't been so damned hard to do. He hated his life. Hated his wife for dying on him."
"And hated his son for killing her?"
He met her too-perceptive gaze, his gut clenching as a vivid memory rose from the distant reaches of his mind.
His dad dumping him, headfirst, into the rain barrel and holding him there until his lungs were full of water and exploding with pain. The summer solstice. The day his mother had died. It had happened every year on the summer solstice, until Lyon finally stopped going back.
He'd never told anyone. "Why would you say that?" he asked sharply.
Kara shrugged and turned back to the water. "One of my preschoolers, last year It was his birthday. When we sang 'Happy Birthday' to him, he burst into tears. I took him aside and he told me he wasn't allowed to celebrate his birthday because it was the day he'd killed his mom. His dad had told him that. The next morning, he came to school with a black eye and bruises on his back and stomach. I reported it, and his father was arrested for child abuse."
She turned back to meet his gaze, warm sympathy in her eyes. "I'm sorry that was you, Lyon. Even if he never actually hit you, blaming a child for something that was so clearly not his fault is a terrible thing to do."
"Yeah, well, it was a long time ago." And not a memory he'd ever wanted to keep.
"When you say a long time ago, you're not kidding," Kara said softly. "Hawke did tell me no one knows who your father was. Have you ever seen him since you became a Feral?"
"No. I left him when I was ten or eleven. I'd gotten pretty good at avoiding the fists and boots of the other drunks on the street, and had been feeding myself and fending for myself for years. He beat me once too often. I left and never went back."
Kara's soft hand touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
Lyon shrugged. What he'd said was true. It was a very long time ago. The memories should have faded long ago.
"Where was this?" she asked.
"The slums of London."
"Were you always called Lyon?"
He gave a soft snort. "I grew up as a scrawny kid by the name of Arthur Bannister. A Feral isn't named until after his first shift, when he discovers which animal has chosen him."
Her sweet face turned to him, her eyes bright with curiosity. "That must have been amazing. To discover you could become a lion."
"It was strange. And, yeah. Amazing. And one hell of a relief."
A smile trembled on her lips. "Why a relief?"
"Because, back in those days, the moment a new Feral arrived at Feral House, the others started calling him Mouse. It was a long-running joke, but of course, I didn't know that. They swore up and down that the Feral who'd recently died, the one I'd been marked to replace, had been a mouse." He shrugged. "I was sixteen. They had me totally convinced."
"But you turned into a lion."
"I did. It was the proudest day of my life." Her eyes shone as she gazed at him, making something tighten and ache deep in his chest. He cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. "I'm not sure why I told you all this. I've never told anyone."
"I'm glad you did."
The urge to reach for her nearly overwhelmed him, and he shoved his hands into his back pockets. She was too close. Too tempting. Again, he considered calling one of the others to finish for him. They knew she was a flight risk, now. They'd never let her out of their sight.
But then he'd miss the look on her face the first time she turned radiant. Goddess,, but he was turning into a glutton for torture.
He turned away, putting what distance he could between them. "Let's try again, Kara."
Without a word, she returned to her place on the stone and sat. Could he possibly touch her again without giving in to the need riding him to pull her against him?
The answer to that was a resounding hell if I know .
"Why don't you try it yourself this time," he suggested, and sat a distance from her this time, leaning against the rock wall that formed the backdrop of the goddess stone.
Kara nodded, placed her hands on the stone, and closed her eyes. Lyon stretched his legs out in front of him, settling back as he watched her go through the steps on her own. Concentrating, pulling, over and over until finally she succeeded in pulling the small blue flame. But each time it flickered out. Again and again.
Finally, she held it.
Lyon tensed with excitement, leaning forward. "That's it, Kara." He watched as the flame sank into her hands, flowing out beneath her skin like a faint, iridescent glow that lit her from within wherever it touched.
Kara's gaze flew to his, and she gasped. "What's happening?"
Lyon grinned. "You did it."
Chills tingled along his skin as he watched the glow spread up her neck and illuminate her face in a beautiful wash of light and color.
Her jaw dropped: "I'm glowing."
"You're radiant," he murmured. Beautiful . The sight of her like this, the fire beneath her skin, the amazement sparkling in her eyes, was the most incredible he'd ever seen.
"Can I move? Will I lose it?"
"You can move. You won't lose it until you let it go."
With an uncertain half smile, she rose to her feet, her gaze on her hands. Slowly, she lifted her hands up to the sky, watching them. Laughter bubbled out of her throat, and she turned, her eyes glowing as she met his gaze.
"It feels amazing. Powerful ." She twirled around, her head tilted to the cloudy sky, and laughed. "I feel like I could fly. Like I could lift this rock with you on it and carry you both to the moon."
Her. joy and awe of her power made something warm and painful move in his chest. She was so alive, so achingly lovely. More than anything in the world, he wanted to grab her up and twirl her around. Without even realizing he'd done so, he'd risen to his feet, but he forced himself to stay where he was.
Kara stopped spinning, her face truly aglow. "Is this why I'm called the Radiant? Because I can light up like a campfire?"
Her description, her sheer delight, pulled a chuckle from him. A surprising burst of happiness. "Yes."
As he watched, she twirled again, spinning, coming to a halt directly in front of him. Eyes gleaming as brightly as her skin, she started to reach for him, then snatched her hand back.
"Can I hurt you?"
He smiled at her, totally under her spell. "No."
As soon as the word was out, the moment that single soft finger traced the line of his cheekbone, he recognized his mistake. Her power leaped at him, tumbling him into a sea of erotic fire.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
Had he groaned? "No." It didn't hurt. Not precisely.
She lifted her other hand and traced his opposite cheek, but her gaze fell to his mouth. His body tightened down low.
"What are you doing?" His voice sounded strangled to his own ears.
Her sweet mouth lifted into a small, womanly smile. "Reveling in my power."
"By touching me?" .
Her blue eyes lifted to caress him. "Do you feel anything when I touch you?"
"Always." He had to clench his hands at his sides to keep from reaching for her, to keep from cupping her slender waist and sliding his hands up over her rib cage, over her breasts.
"What does it feel like?" Her palms pressed flat against his cheeks as her gaze dropped again to his mouth. He saw the intent in her eyes plain as day and knew he had to stop her. But, heaven help him, he wanted to kiss her. He was dying to kiss her.
She tried to lower his head, but he shook her off, lifting his chin.
"No, Kara." He knew he should push her away, but he didn't have the strength.
"What does it feel like?" she persisted. "Do you feel the buzz of power like I do?"
"Yes." The word came out choked, as one glowing thumb slid against his lower lip. He was frozen in a battle between his beast and his honor, one trying to break free to claim her, the other fighting to push her away. Neither won, and he stood immobile, letting her touch him even as he managed barely to keep from touching her.
Until she slid her thumb into his mouth. His beast leaped free of his restraint. He felt his fingers and mouth ache in warning. For one terrible moment, Lyon thought he was going feral.
His control was too thin. Kara was playing with fire in two ways, one of which could get her killed if he lost control as completely as his men had.
He grabbed her wrists, yanking her arms over her head and turned her, pushing her face first against the rock wall and pressing himself tight against her, pinning her.
"Don't move."
"What are you doing?" Her pulse raced beneath his hands, her breathing fast and labored.
"Don't move."
Instinctively he'd known he couldn't push her away or try to escape her himself. His beast would have fought to reach her. Now he had her. He had her. His body pressed against her. But with her back to him, he couldn't kiss her. And clothed he couldn't take her. Not unless he lost all control and ripped her clothes from her.
Pressing against her like this eased his inner torment, his beast's desperate need to touch her, to feel her against him, her hair brushing his cheek, her soft buttocks nestling the part of his anatomy that craved the feel of her most.
He pulled the air into his lungs, breathing the scent of her with each hard breath, drowning in the feel of her even as he struggled for control.
Little by little, his beast calmed until he was certain he was in control again. He released Kara's wrists, pushed away from her, and stepped back before she tempted him again.
She turned toward him slowly, warily, her radiance fading and disappearing as he watched.
"What happened, Lyon?"
He couldn't tell her how her beauty had nearly driven him to the point where he could have harmed her, without wanting her all over again.
"Nothing."
"Lyon"
He silenced her with a wave of his hand. "I'll tell you later." He turned his back on the confusion in her eyes and started for the walk. "Let's go, Kara." What he'd told her earlier held true. He wasn't letting her out of his sight again. But he'd been a fool to allow himself to be alone with her. His control was shot. Another Feral might help him keep the wildness at bay.
Or protect Kara if he failed. Damn, but he needed to get away from her altogether.
As they walked to the car, he pressed his fist against the ache in his chest. She made him want things. Things he'd known little of and never cared about before. Smiles. Laughter.
But the goddess had known what she was doing when she gave Kara to Vhyper. Vhyper, once he was himself again, would make her laugh. He'd make her smile. He'd make her happy in a way Lyon never could.
The sooner he remembered that, accepted it, and quit wishing for things that could never be, the better. Because if he didn't, this obsession he was developing for Kara was going to make his life a living hell.
CHAPTER 14
The drive back to Feral House was short and silent: Kara could feel the fear rising inside her as if someone had opened her up and was pouring it in. With each rotation of tires, her pulse increased. Her mouth went dry. Her stomach clenched with misery both real and forced as she held on to the hope that Lyon would figure out what was doing this to her.
Before she found out in the dark one night. Alone.
Tears burned her eyes at the horrible return of fear and the loss of the brief hours of pleasure she'd known on the rock. The freedom. Lyon's company. His smile.
He sat beside her, silent and brooding, as he drove them back to the place she least wanted to go. If only they could have stayed out there in the wind, beneath the open sky, with the sound of the rushing water filling her ears instead of the thudding of her heart.
If only she could have stayed out there with Lyon.
But after that last incident, he'd been hell-bent on getting away from her. Her cheeks heated as she remembered the way she'd touched him after he'd told her no. He hadn't stopped her, but neither had he encouraged her to continue. Yet she had. Until he turned her and pressed her against the wall.
He'd been close to losing control. She'd felt it, felt the hardness of the erection he'd ground against her backside.
God, she'd wanted him. As he'd pressed against her, she'd longed for whatever he'd wanted to give her. With the rush of power had come an incredible joy, the combination turning into a raging need. For Lyon.
A need he'd shared. He'd given her no doubt about that. But he'd refused to give in to it.
Because she belonged to somebody else.
As they drove into the drive, Lyon could feel Kara's fear rising exactly as it had earlier. He frowned. What if she was right? What if this wasn't natural?
"Kara, we're going to do a little experiment."
She looked at him dubiously. "What kind of experiment?"
"Close your eyes. Tightly."
She glanced at him for a moment longer before he watched her golden lashes sweep down over her eyes.
"Now what?"
"Nothing. Just keep them closed for me while I drive around for a few minutes."
He felt her relax against the seat, but her fear didn't ebb. Until he drove out of the driveway. But that didn't necessarily prove anything.
Lyon drove to the end of the street, then turned around and drove into a drive two houses down from Feral House with a drive he knew to be of similar length to their own. As he curved around in front of the house, her emotions remained level and unaffected. Then suddenly began to spike, but with worry, not fear.
"Are your eyes closed?" he demanded.
"Yes."
"What are you worried about?"
"We're in front of Feral House, aren't we? Yet when I can't see it, I'm not afraid."
"Keep your eyes closed. We'll try it again."
This time when he drove to the end of the street and back again, he drove into his own drive. And her fear quickly began to rise.
"You can open your eyes, Kara." He flipped open his cell phone and called Paenther. "Meet me in my office in five."
"What's the matter?" Kara blinked at him.
"The second time, I didn't pull in here. I pulled into a neighbor's drive. That's the time you didn't react."
"You believe me," she breathed.
Her relief was so acute, he reached for her and squeezed her shoulder. "We've probably got a dark charm in the house. It happens from time to time."
"What's a dark charm?"
"A Mage spell attached to some item that finds its way into our house. It'll cause us problems for a couple of days before we find it and destroy it, or until the magic peters out. This one's strong, though, to be causing you this much anxiety when you're not even wearing it. But it makes sense why the fear disappears when you're away from the house."
"Could the dark charm have caused Wulfe's problem?"
"Good question, but no. Unascended as you are, your natural defenses against magic are virtually nonexistent. Not so ours. No dark charm has the power to rip a Feral loose from his humanity. The Mage simply don't have that kind of power anymore."
He parked the car and turned off the ignition, then reached for Kara's hand, beating back the rush of fear from her body. "Once we find the dark charm, you'll be fine."
His own relief was huge. She wasn't weak of mind or spirit but simply a victim of a minor Mage attack. One he could easily counter.
Lyon released her, then went around the car to Kara's side. The moment he opened the door for her, a blast of fear rolled off her, slamming into him like a sound wave. She shrank back into the seat, then grabbed his hand like a lifeline when he reached for her.
"Please tell me you felt that."
He nodded. "I did. Definitely magic-born." His hand tightened on hers as he fought to help her battle the vicious emotion.
Lyon steered her up the front walk and down the front hall to his office, his hand at the back of her neck, siphoning her fear. As he pulled the emotion from her, she calmed, her body relaxing beneath his touch.
Kara looked around as he ushered her into his private sanctum. "Nice. Now this is more like it."
"In what way?"
"It looks like a man's room."
"It is. Beatrice stayed out of here." He really looked at the room for the first time in a long time. It was, and always had been, his favorite room in the house with its floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, the large hearth, his mahogany desk, and the dark-painted walls.
"It feels like you."
"It's my sanctuary." A sanctuary that would never be the same, he realized, as she slipped from his hold to peruse his collection of books. His gaze drank of her beauty, mesmerized by the blond, wind-tossed wisps that curled around her face where they'd escaped the confines of the elastic. Her scent would linger here, in his memory if not in truth. Nowhere would he be safe from thoughts of her once she'd turned to Vhyper.
The fear began to rise in her again. As he felt it, she was already moving back to his side. He ran his palm beneath her ponytail and over the silky skin of her neck.
Her face tilted up to him, her blue eyes concerned. "What does it do to you when you help me like this? Does it hurt you when you take my emotions?"
His gaze caressed her features one by one, the dark gold lashes sweeping up from her eyes, the curve of her brows, the high soft line of her cheekbones.
"It doesn't hurt."
"Do you feel them yourself when you take them from me?"
"No. Not as you feel them. There's an energy in emotions, especially strong, negative ones. I feel it like a low current. Not pleasant, but not painful." His thumb traced her jaw beneath her ear. "Knowing that I ease your discomfort gives me pleasure."
Her gaze softened, her lips lifting in a small, sweet smile that set up an ache deep in his chest. "Thank you."
At the sound of a throat clearing behind him, Lyon turned, dismayed to realize he hadn't even heard Paenther's approach. The black-haired warrior stood in the doorway now, his gaze flickering between him and Kara, his mouth tight with a disapproval he gave no voice to.
"There's a dark charm in the house that's been affecting Kara, B.P. Organize a full search."
If Paenther was surprised, he didn't show it. He nodded and turned to leave. "Vhype."
Paenther's greeting had Lyon's head snapping up just as Vhyper froze in the doorway.
Gold eyes watched him caress Kara's neck. "Get the hell away from my mate."
Lyon released Kara slowly, $ deep growl escaping his throat as his beast rose. Lyon fought back the wildness. "She needs my help, Vhyper."
"I'll just bet she does. The same kind of help you gave her during the Pairing?" The snake's eyes began to turn feral red.