Александр Герасимов
NLP Radio. The most efficient NLP tools. Part 2
CHAPTER 1
METAPROGRAMS.
MOTIVATION TOWARDS & FROM
Hello, everyone. And again this is NLP radio on stream. Today
in our studio we are having our usual guest a famous NLP trainer
in Russia, a professional negotiator, Alexander Gerasimov. Hello,
Alexander.
Hello, Olga.
Dear listeners, we have learned a lot by American materials
of Richard Bandler and John Grinder. We have learned and read
lots of books, and now we have prepared something to introduce
you, some products you are going to be interested in. Now
we will treat you with something. And the topic discussed
today is metaprograms. The first question: what actually
are metaprograms?
Metaprograms are so to speak persons habitual ways of thinking, of making a choice, of making a decision. It is what we have had for ages and what is integrated into us rather seriously.
For example. All of us have a certain number of metaprograms. And we can choose how many programs we should have independently.
For example, we have a metaprogram of motivation. It is what we will be talking about today. And a person habitually picks either motivation of striving for something, or motivation of avoiding something. In the form of a metaphor, we can imagine a selector between diametrically-opposed positions either or. For example, a person having a metaprogram of avoiding will be afraid of literally everything. And there is a person having a metaprogram of striving.
As a diametrically-opposed example, for better explanation. A person, who is striving for something in spite of everything I see my target I believe in myself I ignore obstacles. Normally, ordinary people are somewhere between these positions, inclined to a certain metaprogram. And there can be a large amount of such
habits, metaprograms. I can add a couple of such dichotomies.
Ive heard about the book describing 51 metaprograms in NLP
by Michael Hall but I would say that every tool including for negotiations, and for self-improvement the transformation of quantity into quality occurs but not always sometimes, the quantity is so extensive and large that it is not easy to fetch. For example, there is a classification of people comprising 8 personality types, and just imagine a classification comprising 1,000 personality types.
When you learn this classification, you wont want to learn any other classifications. And there is an optimal amount of metaprograms.
For example, about 10 or 15. I believe that there are 51 metaprograms, but I dont believe that it would be a rather rational tool.
Do we count them in pairs? Do we count number of pairs
or all together?
Pairs.
In the beginning I wanted to ask this question at the end of our
conversation, but logically it is going to be put right here. How
are they actually formed and under which circumstances are they
formed? And what actually influences their formation?
All of us are products of our childhood. Those are formed including based on our experience, our family education, our personal experience interaction with other people and on what kind of books a person read in their childhood on in what kind of family a person was brought up Of course, metaprograms are partially influenced by a physiological component I mean, there are people so to speak
actually slow naturally for example, they have such nervous system slow reaction time I will name three main metaprogram forming factors. Number One is physiology, human physiology.
It is an individual characteristic. We are very different. We have different characters. It was the first factor. Number Two is conditions in which children are raised in their family. It refers to parents, scenarios, nutrition, and parenting style Number Three is social interaction.
For example, it not necessarily refers to some people, neighbors, or friends or schoolmates. It can refer to books, which we choose
to read consciously So we have three substantial levels. And a combination of those Well, an earlier level affects a later level, and forms the personality of a person. It doesnt mean that a person will be for example, if it is an avoiding, or, for example, a reflexive
person, you wont be able to help it It is possible to adjust, to correct
and then its the matter of resources you are willing to invest. And it is possible to reformate them, providing that those were formatted.
Okay. I remember: in one of your performances, in one of your
interviews you said that imprints, imprinted experience, play
a role. Do they?
Yes. I just havent named this word, and these childhood experiences, obtained in childhood when our mental health is the most vulnerable, can be called imprints. Depending on imprints, including parenting style For example, a child constantly being hurried by his or her parents or, on the contrary, a baby to whom everyone around, parents, credible people say, Dont hurry. Weigh everything! Check whether youve taken it, Recheck! And an initially high-energy child gradually begins to move slower. Sometimes that child is told to stop doing something, sometimes scolded, sometimes praised. And eventually it gets formed. I mean, it has influence. Maybe it is not a key element, and maybe it is impossible to distinguish a key element, but it surely is a component having a certain share of influence.
Right. Okay. Lets talk detailedly about each aspect of motivation.
Motivation towards and motivation from. Which are pluses and
minuses of each in our life?
This is not to say that FROM motivation is bad, and TOWARDS
motivation is good. It is the matter of applicability. There is a range of peculiarities, or so to speak personality traits. A person having rather FROM motivation is more cautious, attentive such person avoids and doesnt want something to be something to happen
Normally, those people are more observant. And more sensitive. Unlike TOWARDS motivation, where a person is rather result-oriented, and, like they say, an arrow heading towards a target is not distracted by the landscape. So, a person having TOWARDS motivation may
be insensitive to other people and to their reaction. This is not always the case. Theres a certain correlation. For example I would apply it I mean positive or negative if I meet a person rather having FROM motivation I would try to match that persons motivation, and would talk to a greater extent about problems we should avoid
We would figure out them together. Or, for example, a goal-oriented person. It is easier to involve such person into something, it is easier to offer some prospects, goals, plans to such person, and he or she will immediately start doing something to achieve a certain goal.
Pure FROM motivation or TOWARDS motivation not that it is difficult to encounter such people are just rarer. More frequently, it is about balance, about proportions. For example, a person may have 70%
of FROM motivation and 30% of TOWARDS motivation. Its rather the question of how it shows itself, how to estimate it in natural environment, because if we were carrying out some tests, and if a person knew about such tests, he or she could intentionally influence
This is exactly what I wanted to specify. It is definitely in the
context. So probably to illustrate somehow? How do we specify it?
First of all, it is the context of interaction with other people. For example, in business it may be personnel recruiting. And a certain job vacation
a certain occupation very often TOWARDS motivation or FROM
motivation has an effect For example, a doctor. A doctor is it TOWARDS motivation or FROM motivation?
If it is a dentist, as a doctor. Earlier it was FROM motivation. A patient should not have toothache. In recent years, maybe in recent decades, medicine dentistry becomes more aesthetical, and it is rather TOWARDS. You might notice that earlier we associated visiting a dentist with suffering nowadays, marketing experts promote dentistry as it is non-painful its like we speaking the language of a FROM-motivation person, and we say, It is non-painful and a beautiful smile it comprises two motivations of those avoiding pain, and of those willing to look nice at once.
And we can define a persons motivation by their wording.
Or, for example, risk management. Risk assessment at a company.
You can hardly imagine a risk manager, who will be striving for something They will rather be modeling problems and resolve those in their mind. A companys Chief Security Officer. It is also rather FROM motivation Nothing should happen than TOWARDS
motivation Let us hire more people. And occupation in personnel recruiting is probably the main context of metaprograms application.
And, basically, in any communication, it may be the context of attitude, the context of sales, the context of consulting and therapy, and the context of self-development to understand yourself you also should be able to distinguish metaprograms. Metaprograms
in general, and FROM motivation in particular.
Yes. It is a peculiarity that should be taken into consideration when distinguishing metaprograms. If we inform a person in advance about an upcoming testing, most likely he or she will get prepared to it psychologically. So, figuring out not only FROM or TOWARDS
metaprograms it should be as close as possible to the context, and the most naturally In the ideal case, it is just observing a person in natural environment Like some companies do they have installed CCTV cameras in their waiting room, and they observe a person before that person comes for testing it also has an effect
Lets move on to basic emotions of people with these or those
characteristics. What are basic emotions? I can guess that maybe
with motivation to people have got anger or maybe interest.
Am I right or some other emotions?
Yes, yes.
And with motivation from not only fear, but I believe also
boredom. Am I right?
If we take boredom as an emotion, it consists of two emotions: it is some kind of a cocktail the emotion of disgust, and the emotion of sadness if we combine these two chemical elements we will get a third one named boredom. And disgust is exactly FROM
motivation, avoiding. Of course, there is fear when disgust gets to the active phase. Well, boredom it is exactly when there is something
unpleasant, and you dont want it to be, but a person is not always active, and has energy to move away from such boredom, from such disgust.
Okay. How to identify? How to personify? How do we grope for
it in a person? Are there any tests? Maybe calibration, whatever?
From my point of view, the most reliable way is observing a person.
Because when we invade their privacy, we immediately start influencing them moreover, if we tell a person, We will be testing you right now.
Like an HR manager recruiting personnel says, Please, sell me this pen or this calculator. And such person stops being his or her true self.
It creates some filters. So, when we just place a person into a specific context, some stress, preferably or a person is in some space, and we observe them then first we are able to detect their leaning direction, the posture a person having TOWARDS motivation will most likely be leaning forward and looking forward, at the front of them a person having FROM motivation will either look tight, or will be leaning aside or backward Emotion, as weve already said Anger and interest refer to TOWARDS motivation, while fear, sadness, and disgust refer to FROM motivation Gestures. Thrusting away, or moving aside gestures correspond to FROM motivation, while decisive, chopping, forward-directed gestures correspond to TOWARDS motivation
We can even Well, where is no direct correlation but we can distinguish even judging by clothing or by a persons attitude toward a situation, toward clothing People inclined to avoid having FROM
motivation they wear clothes of darker colors, less clean-cut and contrast outfit People having TOWARDS motivation they wear rather something more bright-colored It is not to say that if a girl wears a bright color blouse she has TOWARDS motivation. We can just collect more information. The main thing is to a greater extent how a person speaks, provided that that person feels maximum natural and relaxed. A person having TOWARDS motivation will be saying words such as to achieve, to obtain, a goal, possession, forward,
to move. While a person having TOWARDS motivation will use any words and verbs, such as to avoid, to take into account.
If only that didnt happen, didnt occur, if only we werent late,
these include non-, dis-, -less, and other prefixes and suffixes used by a person or even words such as, for example, dangerless they are indicators of FROM motivation Or the word disgust, for example, refers to FROM motivation.
Okay. Now how can we use this information efficiently for our
life?
The very first method I suggest that we should start practicing, doing exercises related to this topic, I mean matching a person
matching their perceptual filters as programs are filters through which we are looking at the world if the word avoiding is written on a persons filter, it is most likely the world full of hazards if you start talking about achievements, overcoming, the wish to obtain, and goals being next to such person, he or she wont start moving before having taken all potential hazards into account If you have figured out that a person has FROM program, for example, with an 80 to 20 ratio, I suggest that you should fill your speech written or oral