Id want a house like that, said Ellie. You make me see it, feel it Yes, this would be a lovely place to live. Everything one has dreamed of come true. One could live here and be free, not hampered, not tied round by people pushing you into doing everything you dont want, keeping you from doing anything you do want. Oh I am so sick of my life and the people who are round me and everything!
Thats the way it began, Ellie and I together. Me with my dreams and she with her revolt against her life. We stopped talking and looked at each other.
Whats your name? she said.
Mike Rogers, I said. Michael Rogers, I amended. Whats yours?
Fenella. She hesitated and then said, Fenella Goodman, looking at me with a rather troubled expression.
This didnt seem to take us much further but we went on looking at each other. We both wanted to see each other again but just for the moment we didnt know how to set about it.
Chapter 5
Well, thats how it began between Ellie and myself. It didnt really go along so very quickly, because we both had our secrets. Both had things we wanted to keep from the other and so we couldnt tell each other as much about ourselves as we might have done, and that kept bringing us up sharp, as it were, against a kind of barrier. We couldnt bring things into the open[21] and say, When shall we meet again? Where can I find you? Where do you live? Because, you see, if you ask the other person that, theyd expect you to tell the same.
Fenella looked apprehensive when she gave me her name. So much so that I thought for a moment that it mightnt be her real name. I almost thought that she might have made it up! But of course I knew that that was impossible. Id given her my real name.
We didnt know quite how to take leave of each other that day. It was awkward. It had become cold and we wanted to wander down from The Towers but what then? Rather awkwardly, I said tentatively:
Are you staying round here?[22]
She said she was staying in Market Chadwell. That was a market town not very far away. It had, I knew, a large hotel, three-starred. Shed be staying there, I guessed. She said, with something of the same awkwardness, to me:
Do you live here?
No, I said, I dont live here. Im only here for the day.
Then a rather awkward silence fell. She gave a faint shiver. А cold little wind had come up.
Wed better walk, I said, and keep ourselves warm. Are you have you got a car or are you going by bus or train?
She said shed left the car in the village.
But Ill be quite all right, she said.
She seemed a little nervous. I thought perhaps she wanted to get rid of me but didnt quite know how to manage it. I said:
Well walk down, shall we, just as far as the village?
She gave me a quick grateful look then. We walked slowly down the winding road on which so many car accidents had happened. As we came round a corner, a figure stepped suddenly from beneath the shelter of the fir tree. It appeared so suddenly that Ellie gave a start and said, Oh! It was the old woman I had seen the other day in her cottage garden. Mrs Lee. She looked a great deal wilder today with a tangle of black hair blowing in the wind and a scarlet cloak round her shoulders; the commanding stance she took up made her look taller.
And what would you be doing, my dears? she said. What brings you to Gipsys Acre?
Oh, Ellie said, we arent trespassing, are we?
Thats as may be. Gipsies land this used to be. Gipsies land and they drove us off it. Youll do no good here, and no good will come to you prowling about Gipsys Acre. There was no fight in Ellie, she wasnt that kind. She said gently and politely:
Im very sorry if we shouldnt have come here. I thought this place was being sold today.
And bad luck it will be to anyone who buys it! said the old woman. You listen, my pretty, for youre pretty enough, bad luck will come to whoever buys it. Theres a curse on this land, a curse put on it long ago, many years ago. You keep clear of it.[23] Dont have nought to do with Gipsys Acre. Death it will bring you and danger. Go away home across the sea and dont come back to Gipsys Acre. Dont say I didnt warn you.
Were doing no harm.
Come now, Mrs Lee, I said, dont frighten this young lady.
I turned in an explanatory way to Ellie.
Mrs Lee lives in the village. Shes got a cottage there. She tells fortunes and prophesies the future. All that, dont you, Mrs Lee? I spoke to her in a jocular way.
Ive got the gift, she said simply, drawing her gipsy-like figure up straighter still. Ive got the gift. Its born in me. We all have it. Ill tell your fortune, young lady. Cross my palm with silver and Ill tell your fortune for you.
I dont think I want my fortune told.
Itd be a wise thing to do. Know something about the future. Know what to avoid, know whats coming to you if you dont take care. Come now, theres plenty of money in your pocket. Plenty of money. I know things it would be wise for you to know.
I believe the urge to have ones fortune told is almost invariable in women. Ive noticed it before with girls I knew. I nearly always had to pay for them to go into the fortune-tellers booths if I took them to a fair. Ellie opened her bag and laid two half-crowns in the old womans hand.
Ah, my pretty, thats right now. You hear what old Mother Lee will tell you.
Ellie drew off her glove and laid her small delicate palm in the old womans hand. She looked down at it, muttering to herself. What do I see now? What do I see?
Suddenly she dropped Ellies hand abruptly.
Id go away from here if I were you. Go and dont come back! Thats what I told you just now and its true. Ive seen it again in your palm. Forget Gipsys Acre, forget you ever saw it. And its not just the ruined house up there, its the land itself thats cursed.
Youve got a mania about that, I said roughly. Anyway the young lady has nothing to do with the land here. Shes only here for a walk today, shes nothing to do with the neighbourhood.
The old woman paid no attention to me. She said dourly:
Im telling you, my pretty. Im warning you. You can have a happy life but you must avoid danger. Dont come to a place where theres danger or where theres a curse. Go away where youre loved and taken care of and looked after. Youve got to keep yourself safe. Remember that. Otherwise otherwise she gave a short shiver. I dont like to see it, I dont like to see whats in your hand.
Suddenly with a queer brisk gesture she pushed back the two half-crowns into Ellies palm, mumbling something we could hardly hear. It sounded like Its cruel. Its cruel, whats going to happen. Turning, she stalked away at a rapid pace.
What a what a frightening woman, said Ellie.
Pay no attention to her, I said gruffly. I think shes half off her head anyway. She just wants to frighten you off. Theyve got a sort of feeling, I think, about this particular piece of land.
Have there been accidents here? Have bad things happened?
Bound to be accidents. Look at the curve and the narrowness of the road. The Town Council ought to be shot for not doing something about it. Of course therell be accidents here. There arent enough signs warning you.
Only accidents or other things?
Look here, I said, people like to collect disasters. There are plenty of disasters always to collect. Thats the way stories build themselves up about a place.
Is that one of the reasons why they say this property which is being sold will go cheap?
Well, it may be, I suppose. Locally, that is. But I dont suppose itll be sold locally. I expect itll be bought for developing. Youre shivering, I said. Dont shiver. Come on, well walk fast. I added, Would you rather I left you before you got back into the town?
No. Of course not. Why should I?
I made a desperate plunge[24].
Look here, I said, I shall be in Market Chadwell tomorrow. I I suppose I dont know whether youll still be there I mean, would there be any chance of seeing you? I shuffled my feet and turned my head away. I got rather red, I think. But if I didnt say something now, how was I going to go on with this?
Oh yes, she said, I shant be going back to London until the evening.
Then perhaps would you I mean, I suppose its rather cheek
No, it isnt.
Well, perhaps youd come and have tea at a cafe the Blue Dog I think its called. Its quite nice, I said. Its I mean, its I couldnt get hold of the word I wanted and I used the word that Id heard my mother use once or twice its quite ladylike, I said anxiously.
Then Ellie laughed. I suppose it sounded rather peculiar nowadays.
Im sure itll be very nice, she said. Yes. Ill come. About half past four, will that be right?
Ill be waiting for you, I said. I Im glad. I didnt say what I was glad about.
We had come to the last turn of the road where the houses began.
Goodbye, then, I said, till tomorrow. And dont think again about what that old hag said. She just likes scaring people, I think. Shes not all there, I added.
Do you feel its a frightening place? Ellie asked.
Gipsys Acre? No, I dont, I said. I said it perhaps a trifle too decidedly, but I didnt think it was frightening. I thought as Id thought before, that it was a beautiful place, a beautiful setting for a beautiful house
Well, thats how my first meeting with Ellie went. I was in Market Chadwell the next day waiting in the Blue Dog and she came. We had tea together and we talked. We still didnt say much about ourselves, not about our lives, I mean. We talked mostly about things we thought, and felt; and then Ellie glanced at her wrist-watch and said she must be going because her train to London left at 5.30
I thought you had a car down here, I said.
She looked slightly embarrassed then and she said no, no, that hadnt been her car yesterday. She didnt say whose it had been. That shadow of embarrassment came over us again. I raised a finger to the waitress and paid the bill, then I said straight out to Ellie:
Am I am I ever going to see you again?
She didnt look at me, she looked down at the table. She said:
I shall be in London for another fortnight.
I said:
Where? How?
We made a date to meet in Regents Park in three days time. It was a fine day. We had some food in the open-air restaurant and we walked in Queen Marys Gardens and we sat there in two deck-chairs and we talked. From that time on, we began to talk about ourselves. Id had some good schooling, I told her, but otherwise I didnt amount to much. I told her about the jobs Id had, some of them at any rate, and how Id never stuck to things and how Id been restless and wandered about trying this and that. Funnily enough, she was entranced to hear all this.
So different, she said, so wonderfully different.
Different from what?
From me.
Youre a rich girl? I said teasingly A poor little rich girl.
Yes, she said, Im a poor little rich girl.
She talked then in a fragmentary way about her background of riches, of stifling comfort, of boredom, of not really choosing your own friends, of never doing what you wanted. Sometimes looking at people who seemed to be enjoying themselves, when she wasnt. Her mother had died when she was a baby and her father had married again. And then, not many years after, he had died, she said. I gathered she didnt care much for her stepmother. Shed lived mostly in America but also travelling abroad a fair amount.
It seemed fantastic to me listening to her that any girl in this age and time could live this sheltered, confined existence. True, she went to parties and entertainments, but it might have been fifty years ago it seemed to me from the way she talked. There didnt seem to be any intimacy, any fun! Her life was as different from mine as chalk from cheese. In a way it was fascinating to hear about it but it sounded stultifying to me.
You havent really got any friends of your own then? I said, incredulously. What about boyfriends?
Theyre chosen for me, she said rather bitterly. Theyre deadly dull.
Its like being in prison, I said.
Thats what it seems like.
And really no friends of your own?
I have now. Ive got Greta.
Whos Greta? I said.
She came first as an au pair no, not quite that, perhaps. But anyway Id had a French girl who lived with us for a year, for French, and then Greta came from Germany, for German. Greta was different. Everything was different once Greta came.
Youre very fond of her? I asked.
She helps me, said Ellie. Shes on my side. She arranges so that I can do things and go places. Shell tell lies for me. I couldnt have got away to come down to Gipsys Acre if it hadnt been for Greta. Shes keeping me company and looking after me in London while my stepmothers in Paris. I write two or three letters and if I go off anywhere Greta posts them every three or four days so that they have a London postmark.
Why did you want to go down to Gipsys Acre though? I asked. What for?
She didnt answer at once.
Greta and I arranged it, she said. Shes rather wonderful, she went on. She thinks of things, you know. She suggests ideas.
Whats this Greta like? I asked.
Oh, Gretas beautiful, she said. Tall and blonde. She can do anything.
I dont think Id like her, I said.
Ellie laughed.
Oh yes you would. Im sure you would. Shes very clever, too.
I dont like clever girls, I said. And I dont like tall blonde girls. I like small girls with hair like autumn leaves. I believe youre jealous of Greta, said Ellie.
Perhaps I am. Youre very fond of her, arent you?
Yes, I am very fond of her. Shes made all the difference in my life.
And it was she who suggested you went down there. Why, I wonder? Theres not much to see or do in that part of the world. I find it rather mysterious.
Its our secret, said Ellie and looked embarrassed. Yours and Gretas? Tell me.
She shook her head. I must have some secrets of my own, she said.
Does your Greta know youre meeting me?
She knows Im meeting someone. Thats all. She doesnt ask questions. She knows Im happy.