Pleased to know you, said Laurie. Our names Turner. Im Laurie and hes Ned. Let me open that for you.
Oh, no, thanks. Ive opened hundreds of them. Oh dear! You said ginger-ale, didnt you! And Ive opened a root-beer. Its so dark in here in the afternoon.
Thats all right, Ned assured her. We like root-beer. Wed just as soon have it as ginger-ale. Wouldnt we, Laurie?
You bet! Were crazy about it.
Are you sure? Its no trouble to Well, this is ginger-ale, anyway. Im awfully sorry!
What do we care? asked Ned. We dont own it.
Dont own it? repeated Polly, in a puzzled tone.
Thats just an expression of his, explained Laurie. Hes awfully slangy. I try to break him of it, but its no use. Its fierce.
Of course you dont use slang? asked Polly, demurely. Who wants the root-beer?
You take it, said Laurie, hurriedly.
No, you, said Ned. Youre fonder of it than I am, Laurie. I dont mind, really!
Laurie managed a surreptitious kick on his brothers shin. Tell you what, he exclaimed, well mix em!
Ned agreed, though not enthusiastically, and with the aid of a third glass the deed was done. The boys tasted experimentally, each asking a question over the rim of his glass. Then looks of relief came over both faces and they sighed ecstatically.
Corking! they breathed in unison.
Polly laughed, I never knew any one to do that before, she said. Im glad you like it. Ill tell the other boys about it.
No, you mustnt, protested Ned. Its our invention. Well call it call it
Call it an Accident, suggested Laurie.
Well call it a Polly, continued the other. It really is bully. Its its different; isnt it, Laurie? Have another?
Who were those on? was the suspicious reply.
You. The next is on me. Only maybe another wouldnt taste so good, eh?
Dont you fool yourself! Ill risk that.
However, the third and fourth bottles, properly combined though they were, lacked novelty, and it was some time before the last glass was emptied. Meanwhile, of course, they talked. The boys acknowledged that, so far, they liked what they had seen of the school. Mention of the doctor and Miss Hillman brought forth warm praise from Polly. Every one likes the doctor ever so much, she declared. And Miss Tabitha is
Miss what? interrupted Laurie.
Miss Tabitha. Thats her name. Polly laughed softly. They call her Tabby, the boys, I mean, but they like her. Shes a dear, even if she does look sort of of cranky. She isnt, though, a bit. She makes believe shes awfully stern, but shes just as soft as as
As Lauries head? offered Ned, helpfully. Say, you sell most everything here, dont you? Are those cream-puffs?
Ned slipped a hand into his pocket and Laurie coughed furiously. Neds hand came forth empty. He turned away from temptation. They look mighty good, he said. If wed seen those before wed had all that ginger-ale
Polly spoke detachedly. You can have credit if you like, she said, placing the empty bottles aside. The doctor lets the boys run bills here up to a dollar. They cant go over a dollar, though.
Personally, observed Laurie, jingling some coins in a trousers pocket, I prefer to pay cash. Still, there are times
Yes, a fellow gets short now and then, said Ned, turning for another look at the pastry counter. Maybe, just for for convenience, it would be a good plan to have an account here, Laurie. Sometimes a fellow forgets to put any money in his pocket, you know. Does your mother make these?
Yes, the cream-cakes, and some of the others. The rest Miss Comfort makes.
Thats another funny name, said Laurie. Who is Miss Comfort?
Shes shes just Miss Comfort, I guess, replied Polly. She lives on the next corner, in the house with the white shutters. Shes quite old, almost seventy, I suppose, and she makes the nicest cake in Orstead. Everybody goes to her for cakes. Thats the way she lives, I guess.
Maybe wed ought to help her, suggested Ned, mentally choosing the largest and fattest cakes on the tray. I guess well take a couple. How much are they?
Six cents apiece, said Polly. Do you want them in a bag?
No, thanks. Ned handed one of the cakes to Laurie; well eat them now. Then, between mouthfuls; Maybe youd better charge this to us. If were going to open an account, we might as well do it now, dont you think?
Polly retired behind a counter and produced a long and narrow book, from which dangled a lead pencil at the end of a string. She put the tip of the pencil between her lips and looked across. Youd better tell me your full names, I think.
Edward Anderson Turner and
I meant just your first names.
Oh! Edward and Laurence. You can charge us each with two bottles and one cake.
I like that! scoffed Laurie. Thought you were treating to cakes?
Huh! Dont you want to help Miss Comfort? I should think youd like to to do a charitable act once in a while.
Dont see what difference it makes to her, grumbled Laurie, whether you pay for both or I pay for one. She gets her money just the same.
Ned brushed a crumb from his jacket. You dont get the idea, he replied gently. Of course, I might pay for both, but you wouldnt feel right about it, Laurie.
Wouldnt I? Where do you get that stuff? You try it and see. Laurie spoke grimly, but not hopefully. Across the counter, Polly was giggling over the account-book.
Youre the funniest boys I ever did see, she explained, in answer to their inquiring looks. You you say such funny things!
Before she could elucidate, footsteps sounded in the room behind the store and a tiny white-haired woman appeared. In spite of her hair, she couldnt have been very old, for her face was plump and unwrinkled and her cheeks quite rosy. Seeing the customers, she bowed prettily and said Good afternoon in a very sweet voice.
Good afternoon, returned the twins.
Mama, these are the Turner boys, said Polly. One of them is Ned and the other is Laurie, but I dont know which, because they look just exactly alike. They theyre twins!
I want to know! said Mrs. Deane. Isnt that nice? Im very pleased to meet you, young gentlemen. I hope Polly has served you with what you wanted. My stock is kind of low just now. You see, we dont have many customers in summer, and its very hard to get things, nowadays, even if you do pay three times what theyre worth. Polly, those ice-cream cones never did come, did they?
Gee, do you have ice-cream? asked Ned; eagerly.
Never you mind! said Laurie, grabbing his arm. You come on out of here before you die on my hands. Im sorry to tell you, maam, that he doesnt know when to stop eating. I have to go around everywhere with him and look after him. If I didnt, hed be dead in no time.
I want to know! exclaimed the Widow Deane interestedly. Why, its very fortunate for him he has you, isnt it?
Yesm, answered Laurie, but he spoke doubtfully, for the little white-haired lady seemed to hide a laugh behind her words. Ned was grinning. Laurie propelled him to the door. Then, without relinquishing his grasp, he doffed his cap.
Good afternoon, he said, Well come again,
We know not how, added Ned, we know not when.
Bless my soul! murmured the Widow, as the screen door swung behind them.
Back at school, the twins found a different scene from what they had left. The grounds were populous with boys, and open windows in the two dormitory buildings showed many others. The entrances were piled with trunks and more were arriving. A rattling taxi turned in at the gate, with much blowing of a frenzied but bronchial horn, and added five merry youths to the population. Ned and Laurie made their way to East Hall, conscious, as they approached, of many eyes focussed on them from wide-flung windows. Remarks reached them, too.
See whos with us! came from a second-floor casement above the entrance; the two Dromios!
Tweedledum and Tweedledee!
The Siamese Twins, Ill bet a cooky!
Hi, East Hall! Heads out!
The two were glad when they reached the shelter of the doorway. Some ones going to get his head punched before long, growled Ned, as they started upstairs.
What do we care? We dont own em. Let them have their fun, Neddie.
Ill let some of them have a wallop, was the answer. Youd think we were the first pair of twins theyd ever seen!
Well, maybe we are. How do you know? Suppose those trunks have come?
They had, and for the next hour the twins were busy unpacking and getting settled. From beyond their door came sounds of much turmoil; the noise of arriving baggage, the banging of doors, shouts, whistling, singing; but they were otherwise undisturbed until, just when Laurie had slammed down the lid of his empty trunk, there came a knock at their portal, followed, before either one could open his mouth in response, by the appearance in the doorway of a bulky apparition in a gorgeous crimson bath-robe.
Hello, fellows! greeted the apparition. Salutations and everything!
CHAPTER IV KEWPIE STARTS SOMETHING
The twins stared silently and suspiciously for an instant. Then Ned made cautious response.
Hello, he said, with what must have seemed to the visitor a lamentable lack of cordiality.
The latter pushed the door shut behind him by the kick of one stockinged foot, and grinned jovially. My names Proudtree, he announced.
You cant blame us, replied Laurie, coldly.
Proudtree laughed amiably. It is a rotten name, isnt it? I live across the corridor, you know. Thought Id drop in and get acquainted, seeing youre new fellows; extend the hand of friendship and all that. You understand. By Jove, Pringle was right, too!
Thats fine, said Ned, with more than a trace of sarcasm. What about?
Why, answered Proudtree, easing his generous bulk into a chair, he said you fellows were twins.
Not only were, said Laurie, gently, but are. Dont mind, do you?
Oh, come off your horse, begged the visitor. Dont be so cocky. Whos said anything? I just wanted to have a look. Never saw any twins before grown-up twins, I mean. You understand.
Thought you said you came to extend the hand of friendship, retorted Ned, sarcastically. Well, have a good look, partner. Theres no charge!
Proudtree grinned and accepted the invitation. Ned fumed silently under the inspection, but Lauries sense of humor came to his aid. Proudtree appeared to be getting a lot of entertainment from his silent comparison of his hosts, and presently, when Neds exasperation had just about reached the explosive point, he chuckled.
Ive got it, he said.
Got what? Laurie asked.
The the clue! I know how to tell you apart! His eyes are different from yours; more blue. Yours are sort of gray. But, geewhillikins, it must be a heap of fun! Being twins, I mean. And fooling people. You understand.
Well, if youre quite through, snapped Ned, maybe youll call it a day. Weve got things to do.
Meaning youd like me to beat it? asked the visitor, good-temperedly.
Just that!
Oh, come, Ned, Laurie protested, soothingly, hes all right. I dare say we are sort of freakish and
Sure, agreed Proudtree, eagerly, thats what I meant. But say, I didnt mean to hurt any ones feelings. Geewhillikins, if I got waxy every time the fellows josh me about being fat Words failed him and he sighed deeply.
Laurie laughed. We might start a side-show, the three of us, and make a bit of money. Only ten cents! One dime! This way to the Siamese Twins and the Fat Boy! Walk up! Walk up!
Proudtree smiled wanly. I only weigh a hundred and seventy-eight and three quarters, too, he said dolorously. If I was a couple of inches taller it wouldnt be so bad.
I dont think its bad as it is, said Laurie, kindly. You dont look really fat; you just look sort of of
Amplitudinous, supplied Ned, with evident satisfaction.
Proudtree viewed him doubtfully. Then he smiled. Well, Ive got to get rid of nearly fifteen pounds in the next two weeks, he said, with a shake of his head, and thats going to take some doing.
What for? Laurie asked. Why destroy your symmetry?
Football. Im trying for center. I nearly made it last year, but Wiggins beat me out. Hes gone now, though, and Mulford as good as said last spring that I could make it this fall if I could get down to a hundred and sixty-five.
Whos Mulford? inquired Ned. A fortune-teller?
Proudtree ignored the sarcasm. Mulfords our coach. Hes all right, too. The trouble with me is, Im awfully fond of sweet things, and I Ive been eating a lot of em lately. But I guess I can drop fourteen pounds if I cut out pies and candy and things. Dont you think so? Proudtree appealed to Laurie almost pathetically.
Dont let any one tell you anything different, replied Laurie, reassuringly. Ned, evidently recovered from his peevishness, asked:
What sort of football do they play here?
Corking! answered Proudtree.
I mean, Rugby or the other?
Rugby! exclaimed Proudtree, scornfully. I guess not! We play regular football. Nobody plays Rugby around these parts. Are you fellows going out?
Not just yet, replied Ned.
He means are we going to try for the football team, explained Laurie. Yes, we are, Proudtree; at least, one of us is.
You?
We havent decided yet. You see, weve never played your kind of football. Back home, at high school, we played American Rugby, and its quite different. But we decided that one of us had better go in for football and the other for baseball, if only to do our duty by the school.
Proudtree looked puzzled. How are you going to decide? he asked.
Oh, well toss up or draw lots or something, I suppose. Maybe, though, Ned had better play football, because I know more baseball than he does. Still, Im not particular.
Thats the limit! chuckled the visitor. Say, what are your names? I didnt see any cards on the door.
Turner. His is Laurie and mines Ned, answered the latter. Do we put our names on the door?
Its the best way, answered Proudtree. Well, Ive got to be moving. I started to take a shower and got side-tracked. You chaps come on over and see me and Ill get some of the other fellows in. You want to meet the right sort, you know. Whats your class?