English Jests and Anecdotes - Various 7 стр.

When Colman read his admirable opera of Inkle and Yarico to the late Dr. Moseley, the doctor made no remark during the progress of the piece; but, when it was concluded, being asked what he thought of it, It wont do, said the doctor; stuff, nonsense! Every body else having been delighted with it, this decided disapprobation puzzled the circle: he was asked why? Ill tell you why, answered the critic; you say in the finale,

It wont do: there is but one bell in the whole island.

Some one was asked what works he had in the press? Why, the History of the Bank, with notes; the Art of Cookery, with plates; and the Science of Single-Stick, with wood-cuts.

In the reign of King James the First, it is said, that titles were not always well placed; which made an extravagant young fellow very smart upon a courtier, whom he desired to move the King to make him a lord. What pretensions, either of blood or merit, replies the courtier, have you to recommend you to that dignity? The young man confessed modestly, that he hoped he stood possessed of all the qualities requisite for a fashionable nobleman; that he loved dogs, dice, and drabs; scorned wit in poor clothes; and had beat his shoemaker, and ruined his tailor. The matter came to the kings ear; but the young candidates preferment was opposed by a person in waiting, who, it seems, had had no feeling in the affair. The king demanded what reasons there were against the mans being made a lord; the courtier insisted, that he was a mean obscure person, and not so much as a gentleman. Oh! it is no matter for that, replies the monarch, merrily, I can make a lord, though I cannot make a gentleman.

A noted wag remarked the absurdity of a tradesman putting his name plump in the middle of the words expressing his trade,  a practice very common in London. For example, said he, how ridiculous it is to see General