You have to go, Kevin, Luna said. You have to at least talk to them.
***No, his mother said, setting her coffee down so firmly it spilled. No, Kevin, absolutely not!
But Mom
Im not driving you to San Francisco so that you can bother a bunch of nutjobs, his mother said.
Kevin held out his phone, showing the information about SETI on it. They arent crazy, he said. Theyre scientists.
Scientists can be crazy too, his mother said. And this whole idea Kevin, cant you just accept that youre seeing things that arent there?
That was the problem; it would be all too easy to accept it. It would be easy to tell himself that this wasnt real, but there was something nagging away at the back of his brain that said it would be a really bad idea if he did. The countdown was still going, and Kevin suspected that he needed to talk to someone who would believe him before it reached its end.
Mom, the numbers I told you I was seeing they turned out to be the location for a star system.
There are so many stars out there that Im sure any random string of numbers would connect to one of them, his mother said. It would be the same as the mass of the star or or, I dont know enough about stars to know what else, but it would be something.
I dont mean that, Kevin said. I mean it was exactly the same. Luna put the numbers in and the Trappist 1 system was the first thing to come out. The only thing to come out.
I should have known that Luna would be involved, his mother said with a sigh. I love that girl, but she has too much imagination for her own good.
Please, Mom, Kevin said. This is real.
His mother reached out to put her hands on his shoulders. When had she started having to reach up to do that? Its not, Kevin. Dr. Yalestrom said that you were having trouble accepting all this. You have to understand whats going on, and I have to help you to accept it.
I know Im dying, Mom, Kevin said. He shouldnt have put it like that, because he could see the tears rising in his mothers eyes.
Do you? Because this
Ill find a way to get there, Kevin promised. Ill take a bus if I have to. Ill take a train into the city and walk. I have to at least talk to them.
And get laughed at? His mother pulled away, not looking at him. You know thats what will happen, right, Kevin? Im trying to protect you.
I know you are, Kevin said. And I know that theyll probably laugh at me, but I have to at least try, Mom. I have the feeling that this is really important.
He wanted to say more, but he wasnt sure that more would help right then. His mother was quiet in the way that said she was thinking, and right then, that was the best that Kevin could hope for. She kept thinking, her hand drumming on the kitchen counter, marking time as she made up her mind.
Kevin heard his mothers sigh.
All right, she said. Ill do it. Ill take you, but only because I suspect that, if I dont, Ill be getting a call from the police to tell me that my son has collapsed on a bus somewhere.
Thanks, Mom, Kevin said, moving forward to hug her.
He knew she didnt really believe him, but in a way, that made the show of love even more impressive.
CHAPTER FIVE
It took around an hour to drive from Walnut Creek down to the SETI Institute in Mountain View, but to Kevin, it felt like a lifetime. It wasnt just that traffic into the city crawled its way through road closures; every moment was something wasted when he could be there, could be finding out what was going on with him. They would know, he was certain of it.
Try not to get too excited, his mother warned him, for what seemed like the twentieth time. Kevin knew she was just trying to protect him, but even so, he didnt want his excitement dampened. He was sure that this would be the place where he found out what was going on. They were scientists who studied aliens. Surely they would know everything?
When they got there, though, the institute wasnt what he was expecting. 189 Bernardo Avenue looked more like an art gallery or a part of a university than the kind of ultra-high-tech buildings Kevins imagination had conjured up. Hed been expecting buildings that looked as though they might be from outer space, but instead, they looked a little like expensive versions of the kind of buildings his school had.
They drove up and parked in front of the buildings. Kevin took a breath. This was it. They walked into a lobby, where a woman smiled over at them, managing to turn that into a question even before she spoke.
Hello, are you sure that youre in the right place?
I need to talk to someone about alien signals, Kevin said, before his mother could try to explain.
Im sorry, the woman said. We dont really have public tours.
Kevin shook his head. He knew he needed to get her to understand. Im not here for a tour, he said. I think I think Im receiving some kind of alien signal.
The woman didnt look at him with the kind of shock and disbelief that most other people might have, or even with the surprise his mother had at him coming out with it like that. This was more a look of resignation, as if she had to put up with this kind of thing more often than she would like.
I see, she said. Unfortunately, were not in a position to talk to people who walk in off the street. If you want to send a message to us through our contact email, wed be happy to consider it, but for the moment
Come on, Kevin, his mother said. We tried.
To his own surprise as much as anyones. Kevin shook his head. No, Im not going.
Kevin, you have to, his mother said.
Kevin sat down, right there in the middle of the lobby. The carpet wasnt very comfortable, but he didnt care. Im not going anywhere until I speak to someone about this.
Wait, you cant do that, the receptionist said.
Im not going anywhere, Kevin said.
Kevin his mother began.
Kevin shook his head. He knew it was childish, but the way he saw it, he was thirteen, and he was allowed. Besides, this was important. If he walked out and left now, this was over. He couldnt let it be over.
Get up, or Ill have to call security, the receptionist said. She walked to him and took hold of Kevins arm in a firm grip.
Instantly, Kevins mother switched her attention from him to the receptionist, her eyes narrowing.
Take your hands off my son, right now.
Then make your son get up and leave before I have to get the police involved. The receptionist let go anyway, although that might have had something to do with the look his mother gave her. Kevin had the feeling that, now that there was one way she could protect her son, his mother was going to do it, whatever it took.
Dont you threaten us with the police. Kevin isnt doing anyone any harm.
You think we dont get crazies here on a regular basis?
Kevin is not crazy! his mother shouted, at a volume she normally reserved for when Kevin had done something really wrong.
The next couple of minutes featured more arguing than Kevin was happy with. His mother shouted at him to get up. The receptionist shouted that she would call security. They shouted at each other, as Kevins mother decided that she didnt want anyone threatening her son with security, and the woman seemed to assume that his mother would be able to move Kevin. Kevin sat through it all with surprising serenity.
It lulled him down, and in those depths, he saw something
The cold darkness of space stood around him, stars flickering, with the Earth looking so different from above that it almost took Kevins breath away. There was a silvery object floating there in space, just one of so many others hanging in orbit. The words Pioneer 11 were stenciled on the side
Then he was lying on the SETI Institutes floor, his mother helping him up, along with the receptionist.
Is he okay? the receptionist asked. Do you need me to call an ambulance?
No, Im fine, Kevin insisted.
His mother shook her head. We know whats wrong. My son is dying. All of this I thought it would help him to come to terms with the fact that what he was seeing wasnt real, that it was the illness.
Put like that, it felt like a betrayal, as if Kevins mother had been planning for his dreams to be crushed all along.
I understand, the receptionist said. Okay, lets get you up, Kevin. Can I get you both anything?
I just want to talk to someone, Kevin said.
The receptionist bit her lip, then nodded. Okay, Ill see what I can do.
Just like that, her whole attitude seemed to have changed.
Wait here. Take a seat. Ill go and see if theres anyone around who can at least talk to you, maybe show you around. Although there really isnt much to see.
Kevin sat down with his mother. He wanted to tell her about everything hed just seen, but he could see from her face that it would only hurt her. He waited in silence instead.
Finally, a woman came out. She was in her early fifties, dressed in a dark suit that suggested she had the kind of meetings where more casual clothes wouldnt work. There was something about her that said she was an academicmaybe something in the curiosity with which she looked at Kevin. She offered his mother her hand, and then Kevin.
Hello, Kevin, she said. Im Dr. Elise Levin. Im the director here at the institute.
Youre in charge? Kevin asked, hope rising in him. Of all the alien stuff?
She smiled with amusement. I think thats putting it a bit strongly. A lot of the search for extraterrestrial life happens elsewhere. NASA provides data, some universities get involved, and we often borrow time on other peoples telescopes where we can. But yes, Im in charge of this institute and the things that go on here.
Then I need to tell you, Kevin said. He was speaking quicker than he wanted to, trying to get the words out before this adult had time to disbelieve him. Theres something happening. I know how strange it sounds, but Ive been seeing things, theres a kind of countdown
How could he explain the countdown? It wasnt like numbers, there wasnt an obvious point he could say marked its end. There was just a faint pulse that came with the signal in his brain, getting steadily, almost imperceptibly faster as it worked its way toward something that Kevin couldnt guess at.
Why dont you tell me about it while we take a look around? Dr. Levin suggested. Ill show you some of what we do here.
She led Kevin and his mother through the institutes corridors, and to be honest, Kevin had thought that it would be more exciting. Hed thought it would look less like an office block.
I thought there would be big telescopes here, or labs full of equipment for testing things from space, Kevin said.
Dr. Levin shrugged. We have some laboratories, and we do test materials occasionally, but we dont have any telescopes. We are working with Berkeley to build a dedicated radio telescope array though.
Then how do you look for aliens? Kevins mother said. It seemed that she was as surprised by the lack of giant telescopes and listening equipment as Kevin was.
We work with other people, Dr. Levin said. We ask for, or hire, time on telescopes and sensor arrays. We work with data from NASA. We put in suggestions to them about places they might want to look, or kinds of data they might want to try to gather. Im sorry, I know it isnt as exciting as people sometimes think. Here, come with me.
She led the way to an office that at least looked a bit more interesting than some of the other spaces. It held a couple of computers, a lot of posters relating to the solar system, a few magazines that had mentioned SETIs work, and some furniture that looked as though it had been especially designed to be ergonomic, stylish, and about as comfortable as a brick.
Let me show you some of the things weve been working on, Dr. Levin said, calling up images of large telescope arrays in the process of being built. Were looking at developing radio telescope arrays that might be powerful enough to pick up ambient radio frequencies rather than just waiting for someone to target us with a signal.
But I think someone is signaling to us, Kevin said. He needed to get her to understand.
Dr. Levin paused. I was going to ask if youre referring to the theory that what some people think are high-frequency radio bursts from a pulsar might be intelligible signals, but youre not, are you?
Ive been seeing things, Kevin said. He tried to explain about the visions. He told her about the landscape hed seen, and about the countdown.
I see, Dr. Levin said. But I have to ask something, Kevin. You understand that SETI is about exploring this issue with science, seeking real proof? Its the only way that we can do this and know that anything we find is real. So, I have to ask you, Kevin, how do you know what youre seeing is real?
Kevin had already managed to answer that with Luna. I saw some numbers. When I looked them up, it turned out that they were the location for something called the Trappist 1 system.
One of the more promising candidates for alien life, Dr. Levin said. Even so, Kevin, do you understand my problem now? You say you saw these numbers, and I believe you, but maybe you saw them because youd read them somewhere. I cant redirect SETIs resources based on that, and in any case, Im not sure what else we could do when it comes to the Trappist 1 system. For something like that, I would need something new. Something you couldnt have gotten another way.
Kevin could tell that she was trying to let him down as gently as possible, but even so, it hurt. How could he provide them with that? Then he thought about what hed seen in the lobby. He had to have seen that for a reason, didnt he?
I think He wasnt sure whether to say it or not, but he knew he had to. I think youre going to get a signal from something called Pioneer 11.
Dr. Levin looked at him for a couple of seconds. Im sorry, Kevin, but that doesnt seem very likely.
Kevin saw his mother frown. Whats Pioneer 11?
Its one of the deep space probes NASA has sent out, Dr. Levin explained. It flew through our solar system, sending back data, and had enough velocity to send it out past the limits of the solar system. Unfortunately, the last contact that we had with it was in 1995, so I really dont think that
She stopped as her phone started to ring, taking it out as if to ignore the call. Kevin saw the moment when she stopped and stared.
Im sorry, I have to take this, she said. Yes, hello, what is it? Can it wait a moment, Im in the middle of okay, if its that urgent. A signal? Youre calling me because NASA has data coming in? But NASA always has She paused again, looking over at Kevin, the disbelief obvious on her face. Even so, she said it. Can I take a guess? she said into the phone. Youve just had a signal of some kind from Pioneer 11? You have? No, I cant tell you. Im not sure you would believe me if I did.