Halloa! said that gentleman, who was standing in the scullery removing mud from his boots. Whats up?
In a frenzied gabble Mrs. Scutts told him. You must be im, she said, clutching him by the coat and dragging him towards the door. Theyve never seen im, and they wont know the difference.
But exclaimed the astonished James.
Quick! she said, sharply. Go into the back room and undress, then nip into his room and get into bed. And mind, be fast asleep all the time.
Still holding the bewildered Mr. Flynn by the coat, she led him into the house and waved him upstairs, and stood below listening until a slight creaking of the bed announced that he had obeyed orders. Then she entered the parlour.
Hes fast asleep, she said, softly; and mind, I wont ave him disturbed. Its the first real sleep hes ad for nearly a week. If you promise not to wake im you may just have a peep.
We wont disturb him, said the doctor, and, followed by his companion, noiselessly ascended the stairs and peeped into the room. Mr. Flynn was fast asleep, and not a muscle moved as the two men approached the bed on tip-toe and stood looking at him. The doctor turned after a minute and led the way out of the room.
Well call again, he said, softly.
Yes, sir, said Mrs. Scutts. When?
The doctor and his companion exchanged glances. Im very busy just at present, he said, slowly. Well look in some time and take our chance of catching him awake.
Mrs. Scutts bowed them out, and in some perplexity returned to Mr. Flynn. I dont like the look of em, she said, shaking her head. Youd better stay in bed till Bill comes ome in case they come back.
Right-o, said the obliging Mr. Flynn. Just step in and tell my landlady Im aving a chat with Bill.
He lit his pipe and sat up in bed smoking until a knock at the front door at half-past eleven sent him off to sleep again. Mrs. Scutts, who was sitting downstairs, opened it and admitted her husband.
All serene? he inquired. What are you looking like that for? Whats up?
He sat quivering with alarm and rage as she told him, and then, mounting the stairs with a heavy tread, stood gazing in helpless fury at the slumbering form of Mr. James Flynn.
Get out o my bed, he said at last, in a choking voice.
What, Bill! said Mr. Flynn, opening his eyes.
Get out o my bed, repeated the other. Youve made a nice mess of it between you. Its a fine thing if a man cant go out for arf a pint without coming home and finding all the riffraff of the neighbourhood in is bed.
Ows the pore back, Bill? inquired Mr. Flynn, with tenderness.
Mr. Scutts gurgled at him. Outside! he said as soon as he could get his breath.
Bill, said the voice of Mrs. Scutts, outside the door.
Halloa, growled her husband.
He mustnt go, said Mrs. Scutts. Those gentlemen are coming again, and they think he is you.
WHAT! roared the infuriated Mr. Scutts.
Dont you see? Its me whats got the pore back now, Bill, said Mr. Flynn. You cant pass yourself off as me, Bill; you aint good-looking enough.
Mr. Scutts, past speech, raised his clenched fists to the ceiling.
Hell ave to stay in your bed, continued the voice of Mrs. Scutts. Hes got a good art, and I know hell do it; wont you, Jim?
Mr. Flynn pondered. Tell my landlady in the morning that Ive took your back room, he said. What a fortunit thing it is Im out o work. What are you walking up and down like that for, Bill? Back coming on agin?
Then o course, pursued the voice of Mrs. Scutts, in meditative accents, theres the club doctor and the other gentleman that knows Bill. They might come at any moment. Theres got to be two Bills in bed, so that if one party comes one Bill can nip into the back room, and if the other Billparty, I meancomes, the other Billyou know what I mean!
Mr. Scutts swore himself faint.
Thats ow it is, mate, said Mr. Flynn. Its no good standing there saying your little piece of poetry to yourself. Take off your cloes and get to bed like a little man. Now! now! Naughty! Naughty!
Praps I oughtnt to ave let em up, Bill, said his wife; but I was afraid theyd smell a rat if I didnt. Besides, I was took by surprise.
You get off to bed, said Mr. Scutts. Get off to bed while youre safe.
And get a good nights rest, added the thoughtful Mr. Flynn. If Bills back is took bad in the night Ill look after it.
Mr. Scutts turned a threatening face on him. For two pins he began.
For two pins Ill go back ome and stay there, said Mr. Flynn.
He put one muscular leg out of bed, and then, at the earnest request of Mr. Scutts, put it back again. In a few simple, manly words the latter apologized, by putting all the blame on Mrs. Scutts, and, removing his clothes, got into bed.
Wrapped in bedclothes, they passed the following day listening for knocks at the door and playing cards. By evening both men were weary, and Mr. Scutts made a few pointed remarks concerning dodging doctors and deceitful visitors to which Mr. Flynn listened in silent approval.
They mightnt come for a week, he said, dismally. Its all right for you, but where do I come in? Halves?
Mr. Scutts had a rush of blood to the head.
You leave it to me, mate, he said, controlling himself by an effort. If I get ten quid, say, you shall have arf.
And suppose you get more? demanded the other.
Well see, said Mr. Scutts, vaguely.
Mr. Flynn returned to the charge next day, but got no satisfaction. Mr. Scutts preferred to talk instead of the free board and lodging his friend was getting. On the subject of such pay for such work he was almost eloquent.
Ill bide my time, said Mr. Flynn, darkly. Treat me fair and Ill treat you fair.
His imprisonment came to an end on the fourth day. There was a knock at the door, and the sound of mens voices, followed by the hurried appearance of Mrs. Scutts.
Its Jims lot, she said, in a hurried whisper. Ive just come up to get the room ready.
Mr. Scutts took his friend by the hand, and after warmly urging him not to forget the expert instructions he had received concerning his back, slipped into the back room, and, a prey to forebodings, awaited the result.
Well, he looks better, said the doctor, regarding Mr. Flynn.
Much better, said his companion.
Mrs. Scutts shook her head. His pore back dont seem no better, sir, she said in a low voice. Cant you do something for it?
Let me have a look at it, said the doctor. Undo your shirt.
Mr. Flynn, with slow fingers, fumbled with the button at his neck and looked hard at Mrs. Scutts.
She cant bear to see me suffer, he said, in a feeble voice, as she left the room.
He bore the examination with the fortitude of an early Christian martyr. In response to inquiries he said he felt as though the mainspring of his back had gone.
How long since you walked? inquired the doctor.
Not since the accident, said Mr. Flynn, firmly.
Try now, said the doctor.
Mr. Flynn smiled at him reproachfully.
You cant walk because you think you cant, said the doctor; that is all. Youll have to be encouraged the same way that a child is. I should like to cure you, and I think I can.
He took a small canvas bag from the other man and opened it. Forty pounds, he said. Would you like to count it?
Mr. Flynns eyes shone.
It is all yours, said the doctor, if you can walk across the room and take it from that gentlemans hand.
Honour bright? asked Mr. Flynn, in tremulous tones, as the other man held up the bag and gave him an encouraging smile.
Honour bright, said the doctor.
With a spring that nearly broke the bed, Mr. Flynn quitted it and snatched the bag, and at the same moment Mrs. Scutts, impelled by a maddened arm, burst into the room.
Your back! she moaned. Itll kill you Get back to bed.
Im cured, lovey, said Mr. Flynn, simply.
His back is as strong as ever, said the doctor, giving it a thump.
Mr. Flynn, who had taken his clothes from a chair and was hastily dressing himself, assented.
But if youll wait arf a tick Ill walk as far as the corner with you, he said, quickly. Id like to make sure its all right.
He paused at the foot of the stairs and, glancing up at the palid and murderous face of Mr. Scutts, which protruded from the back bedroom, smiled at him rapturously. Then, with a lordly air, he tossed him five pieces of gold.
KEEPING WATCH
Human natur! said the night-watchman, gazing fixedly at a pretty girl in a passing watermans skiff. Human natur!
He sighed, and, striking a match, applied it to his pipe and sat smoking thoughtfully.
The young fellow is pretending that his arm is at the back of her by accident, he continued; and shes pretending not to know that its there. When hes allowed to put it round er waist whenever he wishes, he wont want to do it. Shes artful enough to know that, and thats why they are all so stand-offish until the thing is settled. Shell move forward arf an inch presently, and arf a minute arterwards shell lean back agin without thinking. Shes a nice-looking gal, and what she can see in a tailors dummy like that, I cant think.
He leaned back on his box and, folding his arms, emitted a cloud of smoke.
Human naturs a funny thing. Ive seen a lot of it in my time, and if I was to ave my life all over agin I expect I should be just as silly as them two in the skiff. Ive known the time when I would spend money as free over a gal as I would over myself. I ony wish Id got all the money now that Ive spent on peppermint lozenges.
That gal in the boat reminds me o one I used to know a few years ago. Just the same innercent baby looka look as if butter wouldnt melt in er mouthand a artful disposition that made me sorry for er sects.
She used to come up to this wharf once a week in a schooner called the Belle. Her father, Capn Butt, was a widow-man, and e used to bring her with im, partly for company and partly because e could keep is eye on her. Nasty eye it, was, too, when he appened to be out o temper.
Id often took a bit o notice o the gal; just giving er a kind smile now and then as she sat on deck, and sometimeswhen er father wasnt lookingshed smile back. Once, when e was down below, she laughed right out. She was afraid of im, and by and by I noticed that she darent even get off the ship and walk up and down the wharf without asking im. When she went out e was with er, and, from one or two nasty little snacks I appened to overhear when the skipper thought I was too far away, I began to see that something was up.
It all came out one evening, and it only came out because the skipper wanted my help. I was standing leaning on my broom to get my breath back arter a bit o sweeping, when he came up to me, and I knew at once, by the nice way e spoke, that he wanted me to do something for im.
Come and ave a pint, Bill, he ses.
I put my broom agin the wall, and we walked round to the Bulls Head like a couple o brothers. We ad two pints apiece, and then he put his and on my shoulder and talked as man to man.
Im in a little bit o difficulty about that gal o mine, he ses, passing me his baccy-box. Six months ago she dropped a letter out of er pocket, and Im blest if it wasnt from a young man. A young man!
You sur-prise me, I ses, meaning to be sarcastic.
I surprised her, he ses, looking very fierce. I went to er box and I found a pile of em-a pile of em-tied up with a piece o pink ribbon. And a photygraph of my lord. And of all the narrer-chested, weak-eyed, slack-baked, spindly-legged sons of a gun you ever saw in your life, he is the worst. If I ony get my ands on him Ill choke im with his own feet.
He washed is mouth out with a drop o beer and stood scowling at the floor.
Arter Ive choked im Ill twist his neck, he ses. If he ad ony put his address on is letters, Id go round and do it now. And my daughter, my only daughter, wont tell me where he lives.
She ought to know better, I ses.
He took hold o my and and shook it. Youve got more sense than one ud think to look at you, Bill, he ses, not thinking wot he was saying. You see wot a mess Im in.
Yes, I ses.
Im a nurse, thats wot I am, he ses, very savage. Just a nursemaid. I cant move and or foot without that gal. Owd you like it, yourself, Bill?
It must be very orkard for you, I ses. Very orkard indeed.
Orkard! he ses; its no name for it, Bill. I might as well be a Sunday-school teacher, and ha done with it. I never ad such a dull time in all my life. Never. And the worst of it is, its spiling my temper. And all because o that narrer-eyed, red-chestedyou know wot I mean!
He took another mouthful o beer, and then he took old of my arm. Bill, he ses, very earnest, I want you to do me a favour.
Go ahead, I ses.
Ive got to meet a pal at Charing Cross at ha-past seven, he ses; and were going to make a night of it. Ive left Winnie in charge o the cook, and Ive told im plain that, if she aint there when I come back, Ill skin im alive. Now, I want you to watch er, too. Keep the gate locked, and dont let anybody in you dont know. Especially that monkey-faced imitation of a man. Here e is. Thats his likeness.
He pulled a photygraph out of is coatpocket and anded it to me.
Thats im, he ses. Fancy a gal getting love-letters from a thing like that! And she was ony twenty last birthday. Keep your eye on er, Bill, and dont let er out of your sight. Youre worth two o the cook.
He finished is beer, and, cuddling my arm, stepped back to the wharf. Miss Butt was sitting on the cabin skylight reading a book, and old Joe, the cook, was standing near er pretending to swab the decks with a mop.
Ive got to go out for a little whileon business, ses the skipper. I dont spose I shall be long, and, while Im away, Bill and the cook will look arter you.
Miss Butt wrinkled up er shoulders.
The gatell be locked, and youre not to leave the wharf. Dye ear?
The gal wriggled er shoulders agin and went on reading, but she gave the cook a look out of er innercent baby eyes that nearly made im drop the mop.
Thems my orders, ses the skipper, swelling his chest and looking round, to everybody. You know wotll appen to you, Joe, if things aint right when I come back. Come along, Bill, and lock the gate arter me. An mind, for your own sake, dont let anything appen to that gal while Im away.