W. W. Jacobs
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
THE LADY OF THE BARGE
The master of the barge Arabella sat in the stern of his craft with his right arm leaning on the tiller. A desultory conversation with the mate of a schooner, who was hanging over the side of his craft a few yards off, had come to a conclusion owing to a difference of opinion on the subject of religion. The skipper had argued so warmly that he almost fancied he must have inherited the tenets of the Seventh-day Baptists from his mother while the mate had surprised himself by the warmth of his advocacy of a form of Wesleyanism which would have made the members of that sect open their eyes with horror. He had, moreover, confirmed the skipper in the error of his ways by calling him a bargee, the ranks of the Baptists receiving a defender if not a recruit from that hour.
With the influence of the religious argument still upon him, the skipper, as the long summers day gave place to night, fell to wondering where his own mate, who was also his brother-in-law, had got to. Lights which had been struggling with the twilight now burnt bright and strong, and the skipper, moving from the shadow to where a band of light fell across the deck, took out a worn silver watch and saw that it was ten oclock.
Almost at the same moment a dark figure appeared on the jetty above and began to descend the ladder, and a strongly built young man of twenty-two sprang nimbly to the deck.
Ten oclock, Ted, said the skipper, slowly. Itll be eleven in an hours time, said the mate, calmly.
Thatll do, said the skipper, in a somewhat loud voice, as he noticed that his late adversary still occupied his favourite strained position, and a fortuitous expression of his mothers occurred to him: Dont talk to me; Ive been arguing with a son of Belial for the last half-hour.
Bargee, said the son of Belial, in a dispassionate voice.
Dont take no notice of him, Ted, said the skipper, pityingly.
He wasnt talking to me, said Ted. But never mind about him; I want to speak to you in private.
Fire away, my lad, said the other, in a patronizing voice.
Speak up, said the voice from the schooner, encouragingly. Im listening.
There was no reply from the bargee. The master led the way to the cabin, and lighting a lamp, which appealed to more senses than one, took a seat on a locker, and again requested the other to fire away.
Well, you see, its this way, began the mate, with a preliminary wriggle: theres a certain young woman
A certain young what? shouted the master of the Arabella.
Woman, repeated the mate, snappishly; youve heard of a woman afore, havent you? Well, theres a certain young woman Im walking out with I
Walking out? gasped the skipper. Why, I never eard o such a thing.
You would ha done if youd been better looking, praps, retorted the other. Well, Ive offered this young woman to come for a trip with us.
Oh, you have, ave you! said the skipper, sharply. And what do you think Louisa will say to it?
Thats your look out, said Louisas brother, cheerfully. Ill make her up a bed forard, and well all be as happy as you please.
He started suddenly. The mate of the schooner was indulging in a series of whistles of the most amatory description.
There she is, he said. I told her to wait outside.
He ran upon deck, and his perturbed brother-in-law, following at his leisure, was just in time to see him descending the ladder with a young woman and a small handbag.
This is my brother-in-law, Capn Gibbs, said Ted, introducing the new arrival; smartest man at a barge on the river.
The girl extended a neatly gloved hand, shook the skippers affably, and looked wonderingly about her.
Its very close to the water, Ted, she said, dubiously.
The skipper coughed. We dont take passengers as a rule, he said, awkwardly; we aint got much convenience for them.
Never mind, said the girl, kindly; I shant expect too much.
She turned away, and following the mate down to the cabin, went into ecstasies over the space-saving contrivances she found there. The drawers fitted in the skippers bunk were a source of particular interest, and the owner watched with strong disapprobation through the skylight her efforts to make him an apple-pie bed with the limited means at her disposal. He went down below at once as a wet blanket.
I was just shaking your bed up a bit, said Miss Harris, reddening.
I see you was, said the skipper, briefly.
He tried to pluck up courage to tell her that he couldnt take her, but only succeeded in giving vent to an inhospitable cough.
Ill get the supper, said the mate, suddenly; you sit down, old man, and talk to Lucy.
In honour of the visitor he spread a small cloth, and then proceeded to produce cold beef, pickles, and accessories in a manner which reminded Miss Harris of white rabbits from a conjurers hat. Captain Gibbs, accepting the inevitable, ate his supper in silence and left them to their glances.
We must make you up a bed, forard, Lucy, said the mate, when they had finished.
Miss Harris started. Wheres that? she inquired.
Other end o the boat, replied the mate, gathering up some bedding under his arm. You might bring a lantern, John.
The skipper, who was feeling more sociable after a couple of glasses of beer, complied, and accompanied the couple to the tiny forecastle. A smell compounded of bilge, tar, paint, and other healthy disinfectants emerged as the scuttle was pushed back. The skipper dangled the lantern down and almost smiled.
I cant sleep there, said the girl, with decision. I shall die o fright.
Youll get used to it, said Ted, encouragingly, as he helped her down; its quite dry and comfortable.
He put his arm round her waist and squeezed her hand, and aided by this moral support, Miss Harris not only consented to remain, but found various advantages in the forecastle over the cabin, which had escaped the notice of previous voyagers.
Ill leave you the lantern, said the mate, making it fast, and we shall be on deck most o the night. We get under way at two.
He quitted the forecastle, followed by the skipper, after a polite but futile attempt to give him precedence, and made his way to the cabin for two or three hours sleep.
Therell be a row at the other end, Ted, said the skipper, nervously, as he got into his bunk. Louisas sure to blame me for letting you keep company with a gal like this. We was talking about you only the other day, and she said if you was married five years from now, it ud be quite soon enough.
Let Loo mind her own business, said the mate, sharply; shes not going to nag me. Shes not my wife, thank goodness!
He turned over and fell fast asleep, waking up fresh and bright three hours later, to commence what he fondly thought would be the pleasantest voyage of his life.
The Arabella dropped slowly down with the tide, the wind being so light that she was becalmed by every tall warehouse on the way. Off Greenwich, however, the breeze freshened somewhat, and a little later Miss Harris, looking somewhat pale as to complexion and untidy as to hair, came slowly on deck.
Wheres the looking-glass? she asked, as Ted hastened to greet her. How does my hair look?
All wavy, said the infatuated young man; all little curls and squiggles. Come down in the cabin; theres a glass there.
Miss Harris, with a light nod to the skipper as he sat at the tiller, followed the mate below, and giving vent to a little cry of indignation as she saw herself in the glass, waved the amorous Ted on deck, and started work on her disarranged hair.
At breakfast-time a little friction was caused by what the mate bitterly termed the narrow-minded, old-fashioned ways of the skipper. He had arranged that the skipper should steer while he and Miss Harris breakfasted, but the coffee was no sooner on the table than the skipper called him, and relinquishing the helm in his favour, went below to do the honours. The mate protested.
Its not proper, said the skipper. Me and er will ave our meals together, and then you must have yours. Shes under my care.
Miss Harris assented blithely, and talk and laughter greeted the ears of the indignant mate as he steered. He went down at last to cold coffee and lukewarm herrings, returning to the deck after a hurried meal to find the skipper narrating some of his choicest experiences to an audience which hung on his lightest word.
The disregard they showed for his feelings was maddening, and for the first time in his life he became a prey to jealousy in its worst form. It was quite clear to him that the girl had become desperately enamoured of the skipper, and he racked his brain in a wild effort to discover the reason.
With an idea of reminding his brother-in-law of his position, he alluded two or three times in a casual fashion to his wife. The skipper hardly listened to him, and patting Miss Harriss cheek in a fatherly manner, regaled her with an anecdote of the mates boyhood which the latter had spent a goodly portion of his life in denying. He denied it again, hotly, and Miss Harris, conquering for a time her laughter, reprimanded him severely for contradicting.
By the time dinner was ready he was in a state of sullen apathy, and when the meal was over and the couple came on deck again, so far forgot himself as to compliment Miss Harris upon her appetite.
Im ashamed of you, Ted, said the skipper, with severity.
Im glad you know what shame is, retorted the mate.
If you cant beave yourself, youd better keep a bit forard till you get in a better temper, continued the skipper.
Ill be pleased to, said the smarting mate. I wish the barge was longer.
It couldnt be too long for me, said Miss Harris, tossing her head.
Beaving like a schoolboy, murmured the skipper.
I know how to behave my-self, said the mate, as he disappeared below. His head suddenly appeared again over the companion. If some people dont, he added, and disappeared again.
He was pleased to notice as he ate his dinner that the giddy prattle above had ceased, and with his back turned toward the couple when he appeared on deck again, he lounged slowly forward until the skipper called him back again.
Wot was them words you said just now, Ted? he inquired.
The mate repeated them with gusto.
Very good, said the skipper, sharply; very good.
Dont you ever speak to me again, said Miss Harris, with a stately air, because I wont answer you if you do.
The mate displayed more of his schoolboy nature. Wait till youre spoken to, he said, rudely. This is your gratefulness, I suppose?
Gratefulness? said Miss Harris, with her chin in the air. What for?
For bringing you for a trip, replied the mate, sternly.
You bringing me for a trip! said Miss Harris, scornfully. Captain Gibbs is the master here, I suppose. He is giving me the trip. Youre only the mate.
Just so, said the mate, with a grin at his brother-in-law, which made that worthy shift uneasily. I wonder what Loo will say when she sees you with a lady aboard?
She came to please you, said Captain Gibbs, with haste.
Ho! she did, did she? jeered the mate. Prove it; only dont look to me to back you, thats all.
The other eyed him in consternation, and his manner changed.
Dont play the fool, Ted, he said, not unkindly; you know what Loo is.
Well, Im reckoning on that, said the mate, deliberately. Im going forard; dont let me interrupt you two. So long.
He went slowly forward, and lighting his pipe, sprawled carelessly on the deck, and renounced the entire sex forthwith. At teatime the skipper attempted to reverse the procedure at the other meals; but as Miss Harris steadfastly declined to sit at the same table as the mate, his good intentions came to naught.
He made an appeal to what he termed the mates better nature, after Miss Harris had retired to the seclusion of her bed-chamber, but in vain.
Shes nothing to do with me, declared the mate, majestically. I wash my hands of her. Shes a flirt. Im like Louisa, I cant bear flirts.
The skipper said no more, but his face was so worn that Miss Harris, when she came on deck in the early morning and found the barge gliding gently between the grassy banks of a river, attributed it to the difficulty of navigating so large a craft on so small and winding a stream.
We shall be alongside in arf an hour, said the skipper, eyeing her.
Miss Harris expressed her gratification.
Praps you wouldnt mind going down the focsle and staying there till weve made fast, said the other. Id take it as a favour. My owners dont like me to carry passengers.
Miss Harris, who understood perfectly, said, Certainly, and with a cold stare at the mate, who was at no pains to conceal his amusement, went below at once, thoughtfully closing the scuttle after her.
Theres no call to make mischief, Ted, said the skipper, somewhat anxiously, as they swept round the last bend and came into view of Coalsham.
The mate said nothing, but stood by to take in sail as they ran swiftly toward the little quay. The pace slackened, and the Arabella, as though conscious of the contraband in her forecastle, crept slowly to where a stout, middle-aged woman, who bore a strong likeness to the mate, stood upon the quay.
Theres poor Loo, said the mate, with a sigh.
The skipper made no reply to this infernal insinuation. The barge ran alongside the quay and made fast.
I thought youd be up, said Mrs. Gibbs to her husband. Now come along to breakfast; Tedll follow on.
Captain Gibbs, dived down below for his coat, and slipping ashore, thankfully prepared to move off with his wife.
Come on as soon as you can, Ted, said the latter. Why, what on earth is he making that face for?
She turned in amazement as her brother, making a pretence of catching her husbands eye, screwed his face up into a note of interrogation and gave a slight jerk with his thumb.
Come along, said Captain Gibbs, taking her arm with much affection.
But whats Ted looking like that for? demanded his wife, as she easily intercepted another choice facial expression of the mates.
Oh, its his fun, replied her husband, walking on.
Fun? repeated Mrs. Gibbs, sharply. Whats the matter, Ted.
Nothing, replied the mate.
Touch o toothache, said the skipper. Come along, Loo; I can just do with one o your breakfasts.
Mrs. Gibbs suffered herself to be led on, and had got at least five yards on the way home, when she turned and looked back. The mate had still got the toothache, and was at that moment in all the agonies of a phenomenal twinge.