Like a pig, continued the skipper grumblingly.
The mate hesitated so long for a crushing rejoinder that his wife lost all patience and rose to her feet crimson with wrath.
How dare you talk to my husband like that? she demanded fiercely. George, come up on deck this instant!
I dont mind what he says, said the mate, who had only just begun his dinner.
You come away at once, said his wife, pushing his plate from him.
The mate got up with a sigh, and, meeting the look of horror-stricken commiseration in his captains eye, returned it with one of impotent rage.
Use a larger knife, capn, he said savagely. Youll swallow that little un one of these days.
The skipper, with the weapon in question gripped in his fist, turned round and stared at him in petrified amazement, If I wasnt the capn o this ship, George, he said huskily, an bound to set a good example to the men, Id whop you for them words.
Its all for your good, Captain Bunnett, said Mrs. Fillson mincingly. There was a poor old workhouse man I used to give a penny to sometimes, who would eat with his knife, and he choked himself with it.
Ay, he did that, and he hadnt got a mouth half the size o yours, said the mate warningly.
Capn or no capn, crew or no crew, said the skipper in a suffocating voice, I cant stand this. Come up on deck, George, and repeat them words.
Before the mate could accept the invitation, he was dragged back by his wife, while at the same time Mrs. Bunnett, with a frantic scream, threw her arms round her husbands neck, and dared him to move.
You wait till I get you ashore, my lad, said the skipper threateningly.
Ill have to bring the ship home after Ive done with you, retorted the mate as he passed up on deck with his wife.
During the afternoon the couples exchanged not a word, though the two husbands exchanged glances of fiery import, and later on, their spouses being below, gradually drew near to each other. The mate, however, had been thinking, and as they came together met his foe with a pleasant smile.
Bravo, old man, he said heartily.
What dyer mean? demanded the skipper in gruff astonishment.
I mean the way you pretended to row me, said the mate. Splendid you did it. I tried to back you up, but lor! I wasnt in it with you.
What, dyer mean to say you didnt mean what you said? inquired the other.
Why, o course, said the mate with an appearance of great surprise. You didnt, did you?
No, said the skipper, swallowing something in his throat. No, o course not But you did it well, too, George. Uncommon well, you did.
Not half so well as you did, said the mate. Well, I spose weve got to keep it up now.
I spose so, said the skipper; but we mustnt keep it up on the same things, George. Swallerin knives an that sort o thing, I mean.
No, no, said the mate hastily.
An if you could get your missus to go home by train from Summercove, George, we might have a little peace and quietness, added the other.
Shed never forgive me if I asked her, said the mate; youll have to order it, capn.
I wont do that, George, said the skipper firmly. Id never treat a lady like that aboard my ship. I ope I know ow to behave myself if I do eat with my knife.
Stow that, said the mate, reddening. Well wait an see what turns up, he added hopefully.
For the next three days nothing fresh transpired, and the bickering between the couples, assumed on the part of the men and virulent on the part of their wives, went from bad to worse. It was evident that the ladies preferred it to any other amusement life on ship-board could offer, and, after a combined burst of hysterics on their part, in which the whole ships company took a strong interest, the husbands met to discuss heroic remedies.
Its getting worse and worse, said the skipper ruefully. Well be the laughing-stock o the crew even afore theyre done with us. Theres another day afore we reach Summercove, theres five or six days there, an at least five back again.
Therell be murder afore then, said the mate, shaking his head.
If we could only pack em both ome by train, continued the skipper.
Thats an expense, said the mate.
It ud be worth it, said the other.
An they wouldnt do it, said the mate, neither of em.
Ive seen women having rows afore, said the skipper, but then they could get away from each other. Its being boxed up in this little craft as does the mischief.
Spose we pretend the ships not seaworthy, said the mate.
Then theyd stand by us, said the skipper, closer than ever.
I bleeve they would, said the mate. Theyd go fast enough if wed got a case o small-pox or anything like that aboard, though.
The skipper grunted assent.
It ud be worth trying, said the mate. Weve pretended to have a quarrel. Now just as were going into port let one of the hands, the boy if you like, pretend hes sickening for small-pox.
Hows he going to do it? inquired the skipper derisively.
You leave it to me, replied the other. Ive got an idea how its to be done.
Against his better judgment the skipper, after some demur, consented, and the following day, when the passengers were on deck gazing at the small port of Summercove as they slowly approached it, the cook came up excitedly and made a communication to the skipper.
What? cried the latter. Nonsense.
Whats the matter? demanded Mrs. Bunnett, turning round.
Cook, here, has got it into his head that the boys got the small-pox, said the skipper.
Both women gave a faint scream.
Nonsense, said Mrs. Bunnett, with a pale face.
Rubbish, said Mrs. Fillson, clasping her hands nervously.
Very good, mum, said the cook calmly. You know best, o course, but I was on a barque once what got it aboard bad, and I think I ought to know it when I see it.
Yes; and now you think everythings the smallpox, said Mrs. Bunnett uneasily.
Very well, mum, said the cook, spreading out his hands. Will you come down an ave a look at im?
No, snapped Mrs. Bunnett, retreating a pace or two.
Will you come down an ave a look at im, sir, inquired the cook.
You stay where you are, George, said Mrs. Bunnett shrilly, as her husband moved forward. Go farther off, cook.
And keep your tongue still when we get to port, said the mate. Dont go blabbing it all over the place, mind, or we shant get nobody to work us out.
Ay, ay, said the cook, moving off. I aint afraid of itIve given it to people, but Ive never took it myself yet.
Im sure I wish I was off this dreadful ship, said Mrs. Fillson nervously. Nothing but unpleasantness. How long before we get to Summercove, Capn Bunnett?
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