A pair of slippers!
Yes, sir, and the waiter disappeared.
I suppose, said the brown gentleman to Clarence, I suppose, sir, you are the gentleman just come to town?
You are right, sir, said Clarence.
Very well, very well indeed, resumed the stranger, musingly. I took the liberty of looking at your boxes in the passage; I knew a lady, sir, a relation of yours, I think.
Sir! exclaimed Linden, colouring violently.
At least I suppose, for her name was just the same as yours, only, at least, one letter difference between them: yours is Linden I see, sir; hers was Minden. Am I right in my conjecture that you are related to her?
Sir, answered Clarence, gravely, notwithstanding the similarity of our names, we are not related.
Very extraordinary, replied the stranger.
Very, repeated Linden.
I had the honour, sir, said the brown gentleman, to make Mrs. Minden many presents of value, and I should have been very happy to have obliged you in the same manner, had you been in any way connected with that worthy gentlewoman.
You are very kind, said Linden, you are very kind; and since such were your intentions, I believe I must have been connected with Mrs. Minden. At all events, as you justly observe, there is only the difference of a letter between our names, a discrepancy too slight, I am sure, to alter your benevolent intentions.
Here the waiter returned with the slippers.
The stranger slowly unbuttoned his gaiters. Sir, said he to Linden, we will renew our conversation presently.
No sooner had the generous friend of Mrs. Minden deposited his feet in their easy tenements than he quitted the room. Pray, said Linden to the waiter, when he had ordered his simple repast, who is that gentleman in brown?
Mr. Brown, replied the waiter.
And who or what is Mr. Brown? asked our hero.
Before the waiter could reply, Mr. Brown returned, with a large bandbox, carefully enveloped in a blue handkerchief. You come from , sir? said Mr. Brown, quietly seating himself at the same table as Linden.
No, sir, I do not.
From , then?
No, sir,from W.
W?aywell. I knew a lady with a name very like W (the late Lady Waddilove) extremely well. I made her some valuable presents: her ladyship was very sensible of it.
I dont doubt it, sir, replied Clarence; such instances of general beneficence rarely occur!
I have some magnificent relics of her ladyship in this box, returned Mr. Brown.
Really! then she was no less generous than yourself, I presume?
Yes, her ladyship was remarkably generous. About a week before she died (the late Lady Waddilove was quite sensible of her danger), she called me to her,Brown, said she, you are a good creature; I have had my most valuable things from you. I am not ungrateful: I will leave youmy maid! She is as clever as you are and as good. I took the hint, sir, and married. It was an excellent bargain. My wife is a charming woman; she entirely fitted up Mrs. Mindens wardrobe and I furnished the house. Mrs. Minden was greatly indebted to us.
Heaven help me! thought Clarence, the man is certainly mad.
The waiter entered with the dinner; and Mr. Brown, who seemed to have a delicate aversion to any conversation in the presence of the Ganymede of the Holborn tavern, immediately ceased his communications; meanwhile, Clarence took the opportunity to survey him more minutely than he had hitherto done.
His new acquaintance was in age about forty-eight; in stature, rather under the middle height; and thin, dried, withered, yet muscular withal, like a man who, in stinting his stomach for the sake of economy, does not the less enjoy the power of undergoing any fatigue or exertion that an object of adequate importance may demand. We have said already that he was attired, like twilight, in a suit of sober brown; and there was a formality, a precision, and a cat-like sort of cleanliness in his garb, which savoured strongly of the respectable coxcombry of the counting-house. His face was lean, it is true, but not emaciated; and his complexion, sallow and adust, harmonized well with the colours of his clothing. An eye of the darkest hazel, sharp, shrewd, and flashing at times, especially at the mention of the euphonious name of Lady Waddilove,a name frequently upon the lips of the inheritor of her abigail,with a fire that might be called brilliant, was of that modest species which can seldom encounter the straightforward glance of another; on the contrary, it seemed restlessly uneasy in any settled place, and wandered from ceiling to floor, and corner to corner, with an inquisitive though apparently careless glance, as if seeking for something to admire or haply to appropriate; it also seemed to be the especial care of Mr. Brown to veil, as far as he was able, the vivacity of his looks beneath an expression of open and unheeding good-nature, an expression strangely enough contrasting with the closeness and sagacity which Nature had indelibly stamped upon features pointed, aquiline, and impressed with a strong mixture of the Judaical physiognomy. The manner and bearing of this gentleman partook of the same undecided character as his countenance: they seemed to be struggling between civility and importance; a real eagerness to make the acquaintance of the person he addressed, and an assumed recklessness of the advantages which that acquaintance could bestow;it was like the behaviour of a man who is desirous of having the best possible motives imputed to him, but is fearful lest that desire should not be utterly fulfilled. At the first glance you would have pledged yourself for his respectability; at the second, you would have half suspected him to be a rogue; and, after you had been half an hour in his company, you would confess yourself in the obscurest doubt which was the better guess, the first or the last.
Waiter! said Mr. Brown, looking enviously at the viands upon which Linden, having satisfied his curiosity, was now with all the appetite of youth regaling himself. Waiter!
Yes, sir!
Bring me a sandwichandand, waiter, see that I have plenty ofplenty of
What, sir?
Plenty of mustard, waiter.
Mustard (and here Mr. Brown addressed himself to Clarence) is a very wonderful assistance to the digestion. By the by, sir, if you want any curiously fine mustard, I can procure you some pots quite capital,a great favour, though,they were smuggled from France, especially for the use of the late Lady Waddilove.
Thank you, said Linden, dryly; I shall be very happy to accept anything you may wish to offer me.
Mr. Brown took a pocket-book from his pouch. Six pots of mustard, sir,shall I say six?
As many as you please, replied Clarence; and Mr. Brown wrote down Six pots of French mustard.
You are a very young gentleman, sir, said Mr. Brown, probably intended for some profession: I dont mean to be impertinent, but if I can be of any assistance
You can, sir, replied Linden, and immediatelyhave the kindness to ring the bell.
Mr. Brown, with a grave smile, did as he was desired; the waiter re-entered, and, receiving a whispered order from Clarence, again disappeared.
What profession did you say, sir? renewed Mr. Brown, artfully.
What profession did you say, sir? renewed Mr. Brown, artfully.
None! replied Linden.
Oh, very well,very well indeed. Then as an idle, independent gentleman, you will of course be a bit of a beau; want some shirts, possibly; fine cravats, too; gentlemen wear a particular pattern now; gloves, gold, or shall I say gilt chain, watch and seals, a ring or two, and a snuff-box?
Sir, you are vastly obliging, said Clarence, in undisguised surprise.
Not at all, I would do anything for a relation of Mrs. Minden.
The waiter re-entered; Sir, said he to Linden, your room is quite ready.
I am glad to hear it, said Clarence, rising. Mr. Brown, I have the honour of wishing you a good evening.
Stay, sirstay; you have not looked into these things belonging to the late Lady Waddilove.
Another time, said Clarence, hastily.
To-morrow, at ten oclock, muttered Mr. Brown.
I am exceedingly glad I have got rid of that fellow, said Linden to himself, as he stretched his limbs in his easy-chair, and drank off the last glass of his pint of port. If I have not already seen, I have already guessed, enough of the world, to know that you are to look to your pockets when a man offers you a present; they who give, also take away. So here I am in London, with an order for 1000 pounds in my purse, the wisdom of Dr. Latinas in my head, and the health of eighteen in my veins; will it not be my own fault if I do not both enjoy and make myself
And then, yielding to meditations of future success, partaking strongly of the inexperienced and sanguine temperament of the soliloquist, Clarence passed the hours till his pillow summoned him to dreams no less ardent and perhaps no less unreal.
CHAPTER VIII
Oh, how I long to be employed!
Every Man in his Humour.
Clarence was sitting the next morning over the very unsatisfactory breakfast which tea made out of broomsticks, and cream out of chalk (adulteration thrived even in 17) afforded, when the waiter threw open the door and announced Mr. Brown.
Just in time, sir, you perceive, said Mr. Brown; I am punctuality itself: exactly a quarter of a minute to ten. I have brought you the pots of French mustard, and I have some very valuable articles which you must want, besides.
Thank you, sir, said Linden, not well knowing what to say; and Mr. Brown, untying a silk handkerchief, produced three shirts, two pots of pomatum, a tobacco canister with a German pipe, four pair of silk stockings, two gold seals, three rings, and a stuffed parrot!
Beautiful articles these, sir, said Mr. Brown, with a snuffle of inward sweetness long drawn out, and expressive of great admiration of his offered treasures; beautiful articles, sir, arnt they?
Very, the parrot in particular, said Clarence.
Yes, sir, returned Mr. Brown, the parrot is indeed quite a jewel; it belonged to the late Lady Waddilove; I offer it to you with considerable regret, for
Oh! interrupted Clarence, pray do not rob yourself of such a jewel; it really is of no use to me.
I know that, sir,I know that, replied Mr. Brown; but it will be of use to your friends; it will be inestimable to any old aunt, sir, any maiden lady living at Hackney, any curious elderly gentleman fond of a knack-knack. I knew you would know some one to send it to as a present, even though you should not want it yourself.
Bless me! thought Linden, was there ever such generosity? Not content with providing for my wants, he extends his liberality even to any possible relations I may possess!
Mr. Brown now re-tied the beautiful articles in his handkerchief. Shall I leave them, sir? said he.
Why, really, said Clarence, I thought yesterday that you were in jest; but you must be aware that I cannot accept presents from any gentleman so much,so much a stranger to me as you are.
No, sir, I am aware of that, replied Mr. Brown; and in order to remove the unpleasantness of such a feeling, sir, on your part,merely in order to do that, I assure you with no other view, sir, in the world,I have just noted down the articles on this piece of paper; but as you will perceive, at a price so low as still to make them actually presents in everything but the name. Oh, sir, I perfectly understand your delicacy, and would not for the world violate it.
So saying, Mr. Brown put a paper into Lindens hands, the substance of which a very little more experience of the world would have enabled Clarence to foresee; it ran thus:
CLARENCE LINDEN, ESQ., DR.
TO Mr. MORRIS BROWN.
l. s. d.
To Six Pots of French Mustard......... 1 4 0
To Three Superfine Holland Shirts, with Cambric Bosoms,
Complete................ 4 1 0
To Two Pots of Superior French Pomatum...... 0 10 0
To a Tobacco Canister of enamelled Tin, with a finely
Executed Head of the Pretender; slight flaw in the same. 0 12 6
To a German Pipe, second hand, as good as new, belonging
to the late Lady Waddilove.......... 1 18 0
To Four Pair of Black Silk Hose, ditto, belonging to her
Ladyships Husband............. 2 8 0
To Two Superfine Embossed Gold Watch Seals, with a
Classical Motto and Device to each, namely, Mouse Trap,
and Prenez Garde, to one, and Who the devil can this
be from? [One would not have thought these ingenious
devices had been of so ancient a date as the year 17.]
to the other............... 1 1 0
To a remarkably fine Antique Ring, having the head of a
Monkey................. 0 16 6
A ditto, with blue stones........... 0 12 6
A ditto, with green ditto........... 0 12 6
A Stuffed Green Parrot, a remarkable favourite of the late
Lady W................. 2 2 0
Sum Total............... 15 18 0
Deduction for Ready Money.......... 0 13 6
15 4 6
Mr. Browns Profits for Brokerage........ 1 10 0
Sum Total............... 16 14 6
Received of Clarence Linden, Esq., this day of 17.
It would have been no unamusing study to watch the expression of Clarences face as it lengthened over each article until he had reached the final conclusion. He then carefully folded up the paper, restored it to Mr. Brown, with a low bow, and said, Excuse me, sir, I will not take advantage of your generosity; keep your parrot and other treasures for some more worthy person. I cannot accept of what you are pleased to term your very valuable presents!