Jack and His Comrades
Once there was a poor widow, as often there has been, and she had one son. A very scarce summer[23] came, and they didnt know how theyd live till the new potatoes would be fit for eating. So Jack said to his mother one evening, Mother, bake my cake, and kill my hen, till I go seek my fortune; and if I meet it, never fear but Ill soon be back to share it with you.
So she did as he asked her, and he set out at break of day on his journey. His mother came along with him to the yard gate, and says she, Jack, which would you rather have, half the cake and half the hen with my blessing, or the whole of em with my curse?
O Musha, mother, says Jack, why do you ax me that question? Sure you know I wouldnt have your curse and Damers estate along with it.
Well, then, Jack, says she, heres the whole lot of em, with my thousand blessings along with them. So she stood on the yard fence and blessed him as far as her eyes could see him.
Well, he went along and along till he was tired, and neer a farmers house he went into wanted a boy. At last his road led by the side of a bog, and there was a poor ass up to his shoulders near a big bunch of grass he was striving to come at.
Ah, then, Jack asthore, says he, help me out or Ill be drowned.
Never sayt twice[24], says Jack, and he pitched in big stones and sods into the slob, till the ass got good ground under him.
Thank you, Jack, says he, when he was out on the hard road; Ill do as much for you another time. Where are you going?
Faith, Im going to seek my fortune till harvest comes in, God bless it!
And if you like, says the ass, Ill go along with you; who knows what luck we may have!
With all my heart, its getting late, let us be jogging.
Well, they were going through a village, and a whole army of gossoons were hunting a poor dog with a kettle tied to his tail. He ran up to Jack for protection, and the ass let such a roar out of him, that the little thieves took to their heels as if the ould boy was after them[25].
More power to you, Jack, says the dog. Im much obleeged to you; where is the baste and yourself going?
Were going to seek our fortune till harvest comes in.
And wouldnt I be proud to go with you! says the dog. And get rid of them ill-conducted boys; purshuin to em.
Well, well, throw your tail over your arm, and come along.
They got outside the town, and sat down under an old wall, and Jack pulled out his bread and meat, and shared with the dog; and the ass made his dinner on a bunch of thistles. While they were eating and chatting, what should come by but a poor half-starved cat, and the moll-row he gave out of him would make your heart ache.
You look as if you saw the tops of nine houses since breakfast[26], says Jack; heres a bone and something on it.
May your child never know a hungry belly! says Tom. Its myself thats in need of your kindness. May I be so bold as to ask where yez are all going?
Were going to seek out fortune till the harvest comes in, and you may join us if you like.
And that Ill do with a heart and a half, says the cat, and thankee for asking me.
Off they set again, and just as the shadows of the trees were three times as long as themselves, they heard a great cackling in a field inside the road, and out over the ditch jumped a fox with a fine black cock in his mouth.
Oh, you anointed villain! says the ass, roaring like thunder.
At him, good dog! says Jack, and the word wasnt out of his mouth when Coley was in full sweep after the Red Dog. Reynard dropped his prize like a hot potato, and was off like shot, and the poor cock came back fluttering and trembling to Jack and his comrades.
O Musha, naybours! says he. Wasnt it the heigth o luck that threw you in my way! Maybe I wont remember your kindness if ever I find you in hardship; and where in the world are you all going?
Were going to seek our fortune till the harvest comes in; you may join our party if you like, and sit on Neddys crupper when your legs and wings are tired.
Well, the march began again, and just as the sun was gone down they looked around, and there was neither cabin nor farm house in sight.
Well, well, says Jack, the worse luck now the better another time[27], and its only a summer night after all. Well go into the wood, and make our bed on the long grass.
No sooner said than done.[28] Jack stretched himself on a bunch of dry grass, the ass lay near him, the dog and cat lay in the asss warm lap, and the cock went to roost in the next tree.
Well, the soundness of deep sleep was over them all, when the cock took a notion of crowing.
Bother you, Black Cock! says the ass. You disturbed me from as nice a wisp of hay as ever I tasted. Whats the matter?
Its daybreak thats the matter: dont you see light yonder?
I see a light indeed, says Jack, but its from a candle its coming, and not from the sun. As youve roused us we may as well go over, and ask for lodging.
So they all shook themselves, and went on through grass, and rocks, and briars, till they got down into a hollow, and there was the light coming through the shadow, and along with it came singing, and laughing, and cursing.
Easy, boys! says Jack. Walk on your tippy toes[29] till we see what sort of people we have to deal with.
So they crept near the window, and there they saw six robbers inside, with pistols, and blunderbushes, and cutlashes, sitting at a table, eating roast beef and pork, and drinking mulled beer, and wine, and whiskey punch.
Wasnt that a fine haul we made at the Lord of Dunlavins! says one ugly-looking thief with his mouth full. And its little wed get only for the honest porter! Heres his purty health!
The porters purty health! cried out every one of them, and Jack bent his finger at his comrades.
Close your ranks, my men, says he in a whisper, and let everyone mind the word of command.
So the ass put his fore-hoofs on the sill of the window, the dog got on the asss head, the cat on the dogs head, and the cock on the cats head. Then Jack made a sign, and they all sung out like mad.
Hee-haw, hee-haw! roared the ass; Bow-wow! barked die dog; Meaw-meaw! cried the cat; Cockadoodle-doo! crowed the cock.
Level your pistols! cried Jack, and make smithereens of em. Dont leave a mothers son of em alive; present, fire!
With that they gave another halloo, and smashed every pane in the window. The robbers were frightened out of their lives[30]. They blew out the candles, threw down the table, and skelped out at the back door as if they were in earnest, and never drew rein till they were in the very heart of the wood. Jack and his party got into the room, closed the shutters, lighted the candles, and ate and drank till hunger and thirst were gone.
Then they lay down to rest Jack in the bed, the ass in the stable, the dog on the doormat, the cat by the fire, and the cock on the perch.
At first the robbers were very glad to find themselves safe in the thick wood, but they soon began to get vexed.
Then they lay down to rest Jack in the bed, the ass in the stable, the dog on the doormat, the cat by the fire, and the cock on the perch.
At first the robbers were very glad to find themselves safe in the thick wood, but they soon began to get vexed.
This damp grass is very different from our warm room, says one.
I was obliged to drop a fine pigs foot, says another.
I didnt get a tayspoonful of my last tumbler, says another.
And all the Lord of Dunlavins gold and silver that we left behind! says the last.
I think Ill venture back, says the captain, and see if we can recover anything.
Thats a good boy! said they all, and away he went.
The lights were all out, and so he groped his way to the fire, and there the cat flew in his face, and tore him with teeth and claws. He let a roar out of him, and made for the room door, to look for a candle inside. He trod on the dogs tail, and if he did, he got the marks of his teeth in his arms, and legs, and thighs.
Thousand murders! cried he; I wish I was out of this unlucky house.
When he got to the street door, the cock dropped down upon him with his claws and bill, and what the cat and dog done to him was only a flay-bite to what he got from the cock.
Oh, tattheration to you all, you unfeeling vagabones! says he, when he recovered his breath; and he staggered and spun round and round till he reeled into the stable, back foremost, but the ass received him with a kick on the broadest part of his small clothes[31], and laid him comfortably on the dunghill.
When he came to himself, he scratched his head, and began to think what happened him; and as soon as he found that his legs were able to carry him, he crawled away, dragging one foot after another, till he reached the wood.
Well, well, cried them all, when he came within hearing, any chance of our property?
You may say chance, says he, and its itself is the poor chance all out. Ah, will any of you pull a bed of dry grass for me? All the sticking-plaster in Enniscorthy will be too little for the cuts and bruises I have on me. Ah, if you only knew what I have gone through for you! When I got to the kitchen fire, looking for a sod of lighted turf, what should be there but an old woman carding flax, and you may see the marks she left on my face with the cards. I made to the room door as fast as I could, and who should I stumble over but a cobbler and his seat, and if he did not work at me with his awls and his pinchers you may call me a rogue. Well, I got away from him somehow, but when I was passing through the door, it must be the divel himself that pounced down on me with his claws, and his teeth, that were equal to sixpenny nails, and his wings ill luck be in his road! Well, at last I reached the stable, and there, by way of salute, I got a pelt from a sledgehammer that sent me half a mile off. If you dont believe me, Ill give you leave to go and judge for yourselves.
Oh, my poor captain, says they, we believe you to the nines[32]. Catch us, indeed, going within a hens race of that unlucky cabin!
Well, before the sun shook his doublet next morning, Jack and his comrades were up and about[33]. They made a hearty breakfast on what was left the night beforehand then they all agreed to set off to the castle of the Lord of Dunlavin, and give him back all his gold and silver. Jack put it all in the two ends of a sack and laid it across Neddys back, and all took the road in their hands. Away they went, through bogs, up hills, down dales, and sometimes along the yellow high road, till they came to the hall door of the Lord of Dunlavin, and who should be there, airing his powdered head, his white stockings, and his red breeches, but the thief of a porter.
He gave a cross look to the visitors, and says he to Jack, What do you want here, my fine fellow? There isnt room for you all.
We want, says Jack, what Im sure you havent to give us and that is, common civility.
Come, be off, you lazy strollers! says he. While a cat ud be licking her ear, or Ill let the dogs at you.
Would you tell a body, says the cock that was perched on the asss head, who was it that opened the door for the robbers the other night?
Ah! Maybe the porters red face didnt turn the colour of his frill, and the Lord of Dunlavin and his pretty daughter, that were standing at the parlour window unknownst to the porter, put out their heads.
Id be glad, Barney, says the master, to hear your answer to the gentleman with the red comb on him.
Ah, my lord, dont believe the rascal; sure I didnt open the door to the six robbers.
And how did you know there were six, you poor innocent? said the lord.
Never mind, sir, says Jack, all your gold and silver is there in that sack, and I dont think you will begrudge us our supper and bed after our long march from the wood of Athsalach.
Begrudge, indeed! Not one of you will ever see a poor day if I can help it.
So all were welcomed to their hearts content, and the ass and the dog and the cock got the best posts in the farmyard, and the cat took possession of the kitchen. The lord took Jack in hand, dressed him from top to toe in broadcloth, and frills as white as snow, and turnpumps, and put a watch in his fob. When they sat down to dinner, the lady of the house said Jack had the air of a born gentleman about him, and the lord said hed make him his steward. Jack brought his mother, and settled her comfortably near the castle, and all were as happy as you please.
The Shee an Gannon and the Gruagach Gaire
The Shee an Gannon was born in the morning, named at noon, and went in the evening to ask his daughter of the king of Erin.
I will give you my daughter in marriage, said the king of Erin; you wont get her, though, unless you go and bring me back the tidings that I want, and tell me what it is that put a stop to the laughing of the Gruagach Gaire, who before this laughed always, and laughed so loud that the whole world heard him. There are twelve iron spikes out here in the garden behind my castle. On eleven of the spikes are the heads of kings sons who came seeking my daughter in marriage, and all of them went away to get the knowledge I wanted. Not one was able to get it and tell me what stopped the Gruagach Gaire from laughing. I took the heads off them all when they came back without the tidings for which they went, and Im greatly in dread that your headll be on the twelfth spike, for Ill do the same to you that I did to the eleven kings sons unless you tell what put a stop to the laughing of the Gruagach.
The Shee an Gannon made no answer, but left the king and pushed away to know could he find why the Gruagach was silent.
He took a glen at a step, a hill at a leap[34], and travelled all day till evening. Then he came to a house. The master of the house asked him what sort was he, and he said, A young man looking for hire.
Well, said the master of the house, I was going tomorrow to look for a man to mind my cows. If youll work for me, youll have a good place, the best food a man could have to eat in this world, and a soft bed to lie on.
The Shee an Gannon took service, and ate his supper. Then the master of the house said, I am the Gruagach Gaire; now that you are my man and have eaten your supper, youll have a bed of silk to sleep on.
Next morning after breakfast the Gruagach said to the Shee an Gannon, Go out now and loosen my five golden cows and my bull without horns, and drive them to pasture; but when you have them out on the grass, be careful you dont let them go near the land of the giant.